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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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I feel so bad when we have disagreements and nothing seems to help.
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help. My boyfriend and I are basically perfect except when we have relationship problems. We rarely have disagreements but when we do I feel so alone and lower than I've ever felt. I've tried explaining to him that I do not w...
A. 27 March 2013: I think you two are going to be just fine! If you go into this with a loving and open heart and a good amount of patience, you will come out with a much stronger relationship. And the bonus is that what you learn now will save you a lot of grief ... (read in full...)
I feel so bad when we have disagreements and nothing seems to help.
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help. My boyfriend and I are basically perfect except when we have relationship problems. We rarely have disagreements but when we do I feel so alone and lower than I've ever felt. I've tried explaining to him that I do not w...
A. 26 March 2013: Ah, okay, this is a very basic and simple difference between men and women.
When women vent and cry, they want to be supported. Men don't hear the vent in the same way a female friend would do, she would know to just listen and hold your hand and ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my future husband about this?
Q. I had feelings for my best friend. We were involved in dirty talking. We have not dated each other ever. One day it just happened that we got physical. He pressed my boobs and I gave him a hand job. Nothing happened other than this.I am 21 yr old. ...
A. 8 March 2013: What I meant was, is the man required to disclose an incident such as you describe to his future wife? Will he be shamed or denigrated for having had sexual contact in the way you described?... (read in full...)
Oral sex and the gag reflex
Q. I want to please my boyfriend of 6 years just like he has pleased me all these years. But I have gag reflects and I've even vomit a few times. Is there anything I can do to get rid of gag reflects?...
A. 8 March 2013: He doesn't care if you vomit. Gosh, what a sexy dude he must be. *eye roll*
He likes it deep. Even if you can't tolerate it to the point you expel the contents of your stomach.
" He likes it so much that he doesn't care if there is vomit. But I... (read in full...)
My boyfriend smokes a lot of weed...should I be bothered by this?
Q. Hello, I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half now. Ever since I met my boyfriend about 2 years ago, I have known about his marijuana use. He is high pretty much all of the time, and he smokes it through out the entire day, ...
A. 8 March 2013: He's high all day everyday? Is there some reason he doesn't want to face life without chemical alteration of his thinking processes?
He's home all day and doesn't have other interests would be a big concern. Daily activities for most people invo... (read in full...)
I feel so bad when we have disagreements and nothing seems to help.
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help. My boyfriend and I are basically perfect except when we have relationship problems. We rarely have disagreements but when we do I feel so alone and lower than I've ever felt. I've tried explaining to him that I do not w...
A. 8 March 2013: He tries to do his hardest to do exactly what you want but that's not enough for you? How is this relationship even possible?
What fears do you have? How do you communicate? Do you feel safe? Does he feel safe?
What has he done that has you so w... (read in full...)
Is this why people say to be yourself?
Q. There was this girl that liked me and thought i was funny. The thing is, I would copy funny phrases from one of my friends and repeat them to her to make her laugh. She liked me a lot until I started to run out of those things to say. Then the real ...
A. 8 March 2013: So how do you spend your spare time? What are your passions? There's nothing more interesting than a person who has an interesting hobby or passion and who wants to share it with others. Why do you think you developed social anxiety and what ste... (read in full...)
Girls, how do you deal with flirty women around your boyfriend or spouse?
Q. I guess this question is more directed towards women. Have you ever dealt with those really flirty, skanky women who will not leave your partner alone? Do they not have morals? I was at a party with my fiancee and a couple of his friends last ...
A. 8 March 2013: What do you mean, "he knows somewhat of this woman," she's offered to send naked pictures of herself? He added her on Facebook. She messages him.
Why doesn't he just block her?
I think the real question should be, how do you deal with the boyf... (read in full...)
I cheated on my wife but now she is getting close to a male friend
Q. ] Okay. So i kind of messed up. I had cheated on my wife 2 years ago. She got pregnant within a month of us meeting. I cheated on her when she was 6 months pregnant, again right before the birth and when our son was 2 months old but it was all with...
A. 8 March 2013: How can you keep her from leaving? Time for some professional marriage counseling!
You'll be much better off for the experience, even if the marriage doesn't survive. At the very best, you'll find the path to repairing the grievous wounds. At the ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my future husband about this?
Q. I had feelings for my best friend. We were involved in dirty talking. We have not dated each other ever. One day it just happened that we got physical. He pressed my boobs and I gave him a hand job. Nothing happened other than this.I am 21 yr old. ...
A. 8 March 2013: I'd be curious to know what is expected of the husband in this arranged marriage. Does he come to the relationship having had no sexual contact whatsoever?
... (read in full...)
I'm meeting my LDR girlfriend for the second time and I'm afraid I'll run out of things to say!
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship for almost five months now. We have been chatting for close to a year, and I spent an amazing week with her recently - it went far better than I expected it to go, and my girlfriend just couldn't be any ...
A. 7 March 2013: Stop thinking so much. Just appreciate each moment as it comes and you'll find that it will flow very naturally and easy. The pressure is coming from your thoughts, not some external source. So change your thinking. Accept the perfection of 'now.' ... (read in full...)
Why does she see me as a gay friend?
Q. I have a confusing situation: I've been talking to some girl for quite some time now and I've developed a huge crush on her. We've been hanging out a little as of late, and we flirt, I tease her, I make her laugh, we connect on different levels, ...
A. 7 March 2013: "I got a friend of mine who is also friends with her to ask her what she thought about me." Next time, just ask her out directly. That will establish you as being interested and "macho" enough to risk rejection.
Any way out of this? You need to be p... (read in full...)
Ex girlfriend and best best friend issues, help!
Q. so here is the background info... i dated this girl, well call her D. So D and I broke up five years ago, and she gave me no reason. Both of us moved on, which led me to my girlfriend of four years ago. But after the break up with D we became the ...
A. 7 March 2013: If you resent your girlfriend for her medical issues, self-inflicted or not, (a concussion? don't you have to hit your head really hard to get a concussion?) it's time to break up. You are feeling trapped and controlled by your girlfriend's ... (read in full...)
Why does she see me as a gay friend?
Q. I have a confusing situation: I've been talking to some girl for quite some time now and I've developed a huge crush on her. We've been hanging out a little as of late, and we flirt, I tease her, I make her laugh, we connect on different levels, ...
A. 7 March 2013: In the future, don't ask a friend to ask a girl what she thinks of you. That's something pre-teens do when they are figuring the whole thing out. It's a sign of insecurity, basically. It's the move someone who is in 6th grade might do.
Ask her out.... (read in full...)
Why does she see me as a gay friend?
Q. I have a confusing situation: I've been talking to some girl for quite some time now and I've developed a huge crush on her. We've been hanging out a little as of late, and we flirt, I tease her, I make her laugh, we connect on different levels, ...
A. 7 March 2013: In girl language that means she doesn't think of you as boyfriend material, that she isn't attracted to you as a romantic partner. She likes the friendly stuff but isn't taking your flirting seriously.
... (read in full...)
He abandoned me in a strange city!
Q. I could do with some wisdom/isight/davice/thoughts on this...thanks Last weekend it was arranged that myself and a man I having been casually seeing on and off (he lives in another country) would meet in Milan. This involved me flying over from...
A. 7 March 2013: Oh for heaven's sake, cut him off and don't bother trying to keep a relationship going with him. He's a flake. If you invest any more time into this guy, you are completely wasting your time.
He knew he couldn't come to meet you there, and he tota... (read in full...)
My best friend knows I'm gay, doesn't like gays but likes me. He's my crush!
Q. I am in love with my straight friend He is an older married man that I have worked with for 13 years and we have become best friends, I am in my late 30s and he is about 20 years older than me but from how great of a guy he is and the fact that he...
A. 7 March 2013: Well, I guess you know now he doesn't hate gays, that he is in fact bisexual and willing to cheat on his wife. Please do her a favor, use condoms for oral and anal sex.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants a break because he thinks I don't value his opinons
Q. So, my and my boyfriend have been going out for over a year now, and before this we were friends for a long time. I'd noticed he'd been acting strange for the past couple of days, so I asked him what was wrong. He told me that he felt like I didn...
A. 7 March 2013: How much time do you spend together offline?
I'd say that the best thing to do right now is let him work out whatever it is he needs to deal with, and then start fresh from there.
... (read in full...)
How do I stay away from this married man???
Q. Hello. I am involved in an emotional affair with a married guy. We haven't had sex or anything like that. But the attraction and chemistry between us is strong. We work together and used to speak more but recently because of the chemistry he has...
A. 7 March 2013: Maybe it's harder to meet men your age who want to take on the baggage of a special-needs child, a single mother with self-esteem battered by a previous abusive relationship?
Maybe the older men see a vulnerable younger physically attractive woma... (read in full...)
Am I a Lesbian or Bisexual? Please help.
Q. I'm confused. I am emotionally and physically attracted to girls but when I'm really turned on, I like to think about having sex with a man, rough sex. Nothing emotional, I don't want to kiss him. Just the sex, the thrusting. I once had a fanta...
A. 6 March 2013: You sound normal enough. Lots of fantasy and imagining and hormonal changes going on. I wouldn't worry about it too much, if it's really bothering you, check out http://www.scarleteen.com and you'll see there are lots of boys and girls who are ... (read in full...)
How do I end the relationship with a woman who has nothing?
Q. I have been with this girl for 14 years I use to love her but now it's gone. When I met her she was basically homeless living in a shelter. She has always been mentally unstable at times and I have found someone i think i love. How do i put her out ...
A. 6 March 2013: Wow. It sounds like you're trying to get rid of a dog you adopted from a shelter. In those cases, the shelters prefer you return the dog to them, so they can find a more suitable home.
Is this question a moral one or a practical? I mean, do you need... (read in full...)
How do I stay away from this married man???
Q. Hello. I am involved in an emotional affair with a married guy. We haven't had sex or anything like that. But the attraction and chemistry between us is strong. We work together and used to speak more but recently because of the chemistry he has...
A. 6 March 2013: "How do I handle this? I just got over a man who was in a relationship and I have again gravitated to someone else in the same position." So you are repeating your choices, and seem to lack any desire to find out why you are repeating ... (read in full...)
Should I move to be with him in a culture that will stifle me?
Q. Dear Cupid I was living abroad the last 5 years and only this year i came back to UK, when i was abroad I met an Arabic guy and we developed a friendship, he is unlike the majority or Arabs he is kind of wild, out going and he loves a party as ...
A. 6 March 2013: I'm coming on this question agreeing with CindyCares. I think the sacrifice being asked of you is too great. Your self-esteem and self-image will erode and you will grow resentful of him for all that you have given up.
There may be women who have... (read in full...)
I'm feeling disrespected by my boyfriend, am I overreacting?
Q. Hello Guys, I need your advices, so hopefully you'll be able to help me out. I have been in a relationship for the past eight months. Up to last night, it has been, despite some difficult times, a relationship full of promises, dedication an...
A. 6 March 2013: I think you are lucky you've found this out about him at this point in time. You don't have to waste any more time on a guy who tries to win an argument at all costs, including disrespecting you.
I'd be turned off, and would end the rela... (read in full...)
Oral sex and the gag reflex
Q. I want to please my boyfriend of 6 years just like he has pleased me all these years. But I have gag reflects and I've even vomit a few times. Is there anything I can do to get rid of gag reflects?...
A. 6 March 2013: He doesn't care if you vomit? And he won't help out by trying condoms. Hm.
You have a selfish boyfriend on your hands.
He can enjoy the sensation of going deep if you use your hands right. As he seems to prefer to allow you to vomit, I would cl... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always staring at girls and when I complain he says I'm paraoid!
Q. My boyfriend recently went drinking with friends and came home with pictures of him dancing with girls (dirty dancing). And he claimed he brought them for me coz i did something which made him upset, though he couldnt disclose what. Yesterda...
A. 6 March 2013: Oh brother. Why are you tolerating this attitude and behavior from him? It's like some sort of small child having a tantrum, thumbing his nose at you, saying "nyah nyah nyah nyahhhh nyah."
As YouWish pointed out, the deal breaker is his "pun... (read in full...)
He prefers the internet and porn over sex with me!
Q. I really need help. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend almost 4 years. When we met i thought i found my dream guy. He spends a lot of time on internet. We had sex but very seldom. But he stoped having sex with the exuses not to make me ...
A. 6 March 2013: It sounds as though he is an internet porn addict. He will need to quit it in order to have a hope for a normal sexual and intimate relationship with him. There's some great information about the problem here: http://yourbrainonporn.com
I reco... (read in full...)
New baby last year. So how can I convince my husband that I need less visitors at home?
Q. Dear cupid, I am at the end of my tether with visitors in my house! I had a baby last year and since then I have never had any peace. I'm feeling overwhelmed by too many people always around here. I feel like my home isn't my own and I am running ...
A. 6 March 2013: "Oh I wish you had called before you came by, I've just shampooed the carpets. I'll be able to entertain visitors on Wednesday between 2 and 4. Thank you for stopping by, in the future it will be best that you call first, okay? Thanks, bye!"
"... (read in full...)
My boyfriend called me a hypocrite for watching porn
Q. So I'm a horn dog. I like sex and enjoy masturbation. My boyfriend is the opposite from me. He enjoys pleasure however does not want to do it often. I tell him I don't want him watching porn, However I watched it yesterday night and he caught me. He ...
A. 6 March 2013: "So I'm a horn dog." vs "What should I do to make him happy and gain his trust?"
"I don't want him watching porn" vs "I'm a girl watching porn"
Pose the entire question from the opposite position. Once you can see it from that side, you'll be able ... (read in full...)
What does this staring married man want from me?
Q. There is this married guy at the gym, now if he is happily married he really should not be interested in me or constantly staring at me. I try ignoring him it just does not work. I refuse to change gyms. What does he want from me?...
A. 5 March 2013: I expect he looks at other women as well as you.
Is this bothering you or not?... (read in full...)
What does this staring married man want from me?
Q. There is this married guy at the gym, now if he is happily married he really should not be interested in me or constantly staring at me. I try ignoring him it just does not work. I refuse to change gyms. What does he want from me?...
A. 5 March 2013: Either you are flattered or you are bothered by this.
If you are bothered by this, deal with it, I gave you several options.
If you are flattered by this, then you must be waiting to hear that you are the most attractive woman in the gym at the t... (read in full...)
What does this staring married man want from me?
Q. There is this married guy at the gym, now if he is happily married he really should not be interested in me or constantly staring at me. I try ignoring him it just does not work. I refuse to change gyms. What does he want from me?...
A. 5 March 2013: You're flattered by being stared at by a creepy married man?
This guy has been warned off by the gym management?... (read in full...)
Would you marry a guy who never went to college?
Q. Currently less than 40% of men will graduate from college, that's 140 women with college degrees for ever 100 men with a degree. at best its expected to get worse, on top of that jobs traditionally held predominantly by men are evaporating at an ...
A. 5 March 2013: I know medical doctors with advanced degrees who are annoying, boring and completely uninteresting as people, ditto with attorneys and other degreed professionals. (Obviously I know others who are interesting and appealing.) Then I know a number of ... (read in full...)
How to test my gf for being a sociopath
Q. Ok so I can't really tell if my girlfriend is a sociopath or not, I know all the symptoms and read ALOT about the subject but I can't tell if in emotionally in denial or maybe she just had a bunch of bad boyfriends in her passed and has always been ...
A. 5 March 2013: This girlfriend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/her-awful-childhood-has-led-her-to-a.html
She needs to get professional help. She has to WANT to be helped. You can't fix this for her.
The best thing you can do for her is to let her deal wit... (read in full...)
I'm worried about what will happen to our relationship if my b/f is prescribed anti depressants?
Q. I posted something a few days ago, asking how to help my boyfriend who's been going back and forth with the choice of majors at his Uni. I said I was worried about his attitude toward it rather than the choice itself and today I had a confirmation ...
A. 5 March 2013: You are way out ahead of yourself, and the situation. You are worrying about things that may never happen. What's the point of that?
I like how Eckhart Tolle describes it, I'll paraphrase it, basically, depression comes from too much living in the ... (read in full...)
What does this staring married man want from me?
Q. There is this married guy at the gym, now if he is happily married he really should not be interested in me or constantly staring at me. I try ignoring him it just does not work. I refuse to change gyms. What does he want from me?...
A. 5 March 2013: Maybe he likes the way you look?
If he's creeping you out, you have several approaches to get it to stop. One is to directly address him and tell him that you want him to stop staring at you. The second would be to go to the gym's management and ... (read in full...)
IS this modeling agency on the up and up? They asked me do do some rather risque things?
Q. hi, im really stuck! i need help. i have been contacted by a modeling agency asking if im interested in modeling. i am and i always have been i would love to be a model. The only thing is she told me i had to do my audition on skype on a web cam in ...
A. 5 March 2013: How do you know for certain it's a "she"? This sounds very dodgy to me. I wouldn't do it, if I were you.... (read in full...)
Have you ever regretted your first time?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles. Have you ever regretted your 'first time'? I'm a 17, soon to be 18, year old dude that is thinking about losing his virginity. When I hit puberty i never virginity or sex in particular was ever going to be a concern...
A. 5 March 2013: I waited until I was 19 and in a loving relationship. I do not regret it, even though he and I turned out to be a lousy couple later on. I had a boyfriend at 15 who made a big run at me to have sex with him and I know for certain I would have ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend breaks NC after 2 weeks?
Q. My bf and I broke up and I've been NC for 2 weeks. He's 34 and I'm 30. I broke it off with him after 2.5 years together because I felt like he wasn't giving me enough attention and because he had to go away for work in another state and after being ...
A. 5 March 2013: You changed your cellphone number but not your gamertag? It seems you didn't go far enough. If you are bothered by his breaking the NC rule, go all the way and remove all links to yourself. That would make it really clear that you do not want any ... (read in full...)
Is Pornography cheating?
Q. The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
A. 5 March 2013: I found a great lecture about what porn does to young men who become addicts. The brain changes are disturbing and lead to a whole list of problems. A fascinating talk.
h... (read in full...)
On average, will a guy 55 or older find it harder to ejaculate a second time, during the same session?
Q. I'm curious to know whether on average, an older guy, 55 years or so, will find it a lot more difficult to ejaculate again, after he's come once? He does get hard very quickly again, but he says there's not much feeling, so even with stimulat...
A. 4 March 2013: Here's a guide which should help him learn that the delay in being able to ejaculate has nothing to do with stimulation but is simply the body's necessary recovery phase. ... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my guy about sex but I don't know how!
Q. Hi y'all, I'm in need of some advice. I'm about to marry a very nice, caring, intelligent man. Trouble is... there's nothing going on in the sex department. I've known him for 6 years, and for three of those years, he was in and out of a ...
A. 4 March 2013: If he's caring and intelligent, then I'm certain he would want to be clued into how to make you happy in bed.
If he's caring and intelligent, I'm even more certain that he doesn't care what size your breasts are.
Here's how to clue him into wha... (read in full...)
Should I settle down with my boyfriend even though I am not physically attracted to him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now. He loves me a lot and wants to be with me forever. I'm not sure if i want to stay with him though. His character is great, loving, caring, clever, honest etc but i don't feel that sexually attra...
A. 4 March 2013: No, I think he's not your guy. You don't think he's man enough for you, basically. That's not going to change. I'm wondering how you wound up with him in the first place?... (read in full...)
My fiance masturbates every morning and I just found out. What should I do?
Q. we don't have sex alot, and i would like to but he always says no. but this morning i walked in on him masturbating and saw he does it every morning. He says he loves it when we have sex, but yet he still does this every morning... im really hurt ...
A. 4 March 2013: "Babe, here's what's been bothering me. I love you and find you sexy and want to have sex with you every day! When I initiate, you turn me down. So finding out that you masturbate everyday has really hurt me. It makes me feel like you don't want me ... (read in full...)
Met ex at a beach and received flowers. Are we meant to be?
Q. My ex saw me driving along as i was on my way to the beach. Then he turned around and found me at the beach and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. It was really nice, and I was going surfing, so he went back home and got his board and we were both ...
A. 3 March 2013: Did he get therapy or counseling for his controlling and jealous ways? I would be worried too about the coincidence of the flowers and showing up unexpectedly.
I'd call him and make it very clear that you are not back together again. Read it from... (read in full...)
On average, will a guy 55 or older find it harder to ejaculate a second time, during the same session?
Q. I'm curious to know whether on average, an older guy, 55 years or so, will find it a lot more difficult to ejaculate again, after he's come once? He does get hard very quickly again, but he says there's not much feeling, so even with stimulat...
A. 3 March 2013: It's called the refractory period, it can be shorter in younger men and apparently gets longer as men age.
Don't feel "awful," it's natural.
... (read in full...)
My best friend knows I'm gay, doesn't like gays but likes me. He's my crush!
Q. I am in love with my straight friend He is an older married man that I have worked with for 13 years and we have become best friends, I am in my late 30s and he is about 20 years older than me but from how great of a guy he is and the fact that he...
A. 21 December 2012: Okay, I'm working to understand this. You've just told your best friend, someone you've known for 13 years that you are gay? And it sounds as though this was a surprise to him? If you were such great friends and so close, wouldn't he know that ... (read in full...)
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