He's chatting on porn sites and I feel deceived
Q. I am in a very happy marriage (or so I thought) until I discovered my husband was secretly contacting other women on porn sites. He told me it was pure fantasy and meant nothing and that he would stop as I had got so upset. He does not see this...
A. 14 January 2016: This is tricky and nebulous isn't it? There will always be those who don't consider it cheating... "Soft cheating" maybe? And yet for you there is no such thing as soft pain. Just regular, boring, raw old pain, worsened perhaps by feelings of d... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend intend to send this email to another woman?
Q. I have a very big problem and it's been eating away at me for the past few hours but it's been ongoing. I know the fine people of DC will be able to provide me with the best possible advice and that is why I am here reaching out to you. My boyfri...
A. 12 January 2016: Dude.
He wasn't sure the email got through to you.... (read in full...)
Confrontation. Was it right to not confront him? Does it seem as if I didn't stand up for myself?
Q. I dated a guy for 2 months then he stopped responding to my messages one day. I didn't confront him about it or anything, I was actually about to be going on a trip so I didn't have time for the drama. 2 weeks later while I'm on my trip he tells me ...
A. 23 December 2015: You did perfectly... (read in full...)
My girlfriend suddenly wants sex all the time and I can't handle it!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years, and we have had a pretty healthy sex life, we used to have it like 3 times a day, but since we have actually gotten serious into the relationship, I don't need it as much, I so we have it like once a ...
A. 23 December 2015: You know, usually it is men who have the more kinky insatiable appetite, and we just have to deal, occasionally put out more than we feel like.
I suggest you talk about this with her. Come to a compromise. If you stay together there will need to ... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend has turned her against her family!
Q. For the past nearly 2 years our family has been doing battle with a highly-intelligent, scheming and sneaky cock roach named Adam. My daughter met him 7 years ago, and they had only dated 2 months when we began to see a huge change in her. They ...
A. 25 April 2014: Wow. You have exceeded my exoectations. You are so brave. I salute you.
Cerberus, good on you!... (read in full...)
My daughter's boyfriend has turned her against her family!
Q. For the past nearly 2 years our family has been doing battle with a highly-intelligent, scheming and sneaky cock roach named Adam. My daughter met him 7 years ago, and they had only dated 2 months when we began to see a huge change in her. They ...
A. 24 April 2014: My apologies for this. I'm gonna have to show you some tough love here:
Look up the word "fledging"
In fact, watch a documentary on fledging.
It is a harsh but natural process and it had been delayed too long.
There's a lesson you an... (read in full...)
My husband is having an affair. Am I stupid for staying with him?
Q. I discovered when I was 8 months pregnant that my husband of 10 years was cheating on me. I confronted him and his lover in a text message and was assured by both that it would not continue. I had several times where I caught him texting her but her ...
A. 24 April 2014: It's not stupidity. It's hurt pain and fear and having been there I do not judge you. But I know the pain of sex and love after infedelity. The scalding burning raw pain. I know the pain of divorce and why you fear it. I also know that for me it was ... (read in full...)
My cheating ex husband is moving on and I am stuck in poverty with the kids!
Q. Hi there guys, i really need help. I filed separation from my ex on account of cheating and abusive behaviour about 18 months ago. 2 children remain with me. When they went for a visit to their dad I have come to understand that he's sharing the ...
A. 22 April 2014: As a divorcee, I totally get it. I get feeling that he owes you something- he does. You are entitled to all that you feel you are... However can I just say what helped me? I used all my anger to fuel my new dream. I sat and recorded on my ... (read in full...)
Our passion led to unprotected sex!
Q. Before I get to my question, I realize there are steps I need to do instead typing my question on this site. I am already ensuring to take them as far as seeking them, but I do have to wait one more week in order for detectable antibodies to begin ...
A. 21 April 2014: I did that the first time I had casual sex in my life. No protection. I was actually doing it out of anger and trying to be reckless.
Then came ths wondering if I was pregnant. Not cool. Paranoia NOT worth it, and the constant tests and thinking... (read in full...)
Regaining sexual confidence after wife cheated
Q. I have a question on confidence lost for a man after my wife of 20 years cheated on me. Basically we had been together for 20 years, I was 17 when we met, she was 16. About 2 and a half years ago she cheated on me with an old friend of hers. ...
A. 16 April 2014: I totally understand not wanting to do anyying but be with the kids where you know you are loved.
The sex thing? It will happen, don't microwave it, if you are not feeling a girl you are not feeling her.
You are a divorcee. A passionate lovin... (read in full...)
What's worse? Being in a relationship with a cheating coward or an arrogant know-it-all?
Q. What's worse? - Being in a relationshpip with a cheating coward or a arrogant know-it-all? Or are both types equally undesirable? Any related comments or thoughts would be very helpful. Thank you ...
A. 15 April 2014: Depends on what.is meant by arrogant know it all, or if arrogant know it all is just a nasty way of describing a person who is out spoken about what they believe to be right.
But there is NOTHING worse than a cheating coward, except being married ... (read in full...)
Regaining sexual confidence after wife cheated
Q. I have a question on confidence lost for a man after my wife of 20 years cheated on me. Basically we had been together for 20 years, I was 17 when we met, she was 16. About 2 and a half years ago she cheated on me with an old friend of hers. ...
A. 31 March 2014: I was with ex husb since I was 17 and he was 16. He was never faithful. We were only married for 1/10 of the time you were.
I am so sorry about this.
Please know that casual sex can heal, and it does not have to be hollow. I found that the ten... (read in full...)
Do you my find it appropriate for a woman to sit on your husband's lap?
Q. My husband and I were with friends last night. We were playing a party game and my husband drew a card which made him "Santa Claus." Two of our male friends sat on his lap as a joke and I also sat on my husband's lap. But then one of our friends ...
A. 31 March 2014: Fishy.
I smell a rat.
The game being used as an excuse to disrespect you.
Yoy DO NOT SIT ON ANOTHER WOMANS HUSBANDS LAP. HELLNO.
I do not like it one bit. Liberalist bullshit.
I'm a liberalist, but this is bullshit.... (read in full...)
We've hooked up twice but have yet to make it past second base, and now I'm wondering if she's not that into me!
Q. So I'm in college as is the girl I've been very interested in for over a year. I've been working hard at getting on her good side, texting her almost every day "randomly" running into her between classes. If I had to guess it's been pretty obvious ...
A. 31 March 2014: Everybody advises us not to put out too early if we like a guy.
Also, I've ALWAYS been advised that guys don't respect girls who just put out.
I've also always been told that if he really likesme he'll stick around irrespective of whether I put... (read in full...)
I think my vulnerable friend is being taken advantage of
Q. This woman was previously abused in a very long term marriage. (slapped around then forcibly Raped on her wedding night by her husband.) He abused her in many other ways as well. He made her feel guilty and took great advantage of her. She is n...
A. 31 March 2014: I think I see your concern.
But I think, as a woman who has had to find her own strength that this is a change that needs to happen in her.
Not that I can relate at all to being raped. I think thar is awful. But I believe the solution is in h... (read in full...)
I am already pregnant. So how do my husband and I handle his parents who flipped about the pregnancy because my husband is disabled?
Q. I need some advice on how to deal with the things going on in my life at the moment. I Will tell u the back story. My husband and I were involved in an accident a few years ago and it left my husband significantly physically disabled and I'm now ...
A. 23 March 2014: Congratulations on the twins! What a blessing! I love twins. I hope to have a love like yours and your husband's. I am sorry the in laws are douche bags.. please do not let them spoil this beautiful season. You are pregnant, you need car... (read in full...)
If you don't have dating/sexual experience do you fake it till you make it?
Q. If I don't have any sexual experience, how do I go about in my everyday life meeting girls, faking it til I make it? I see plenty of guts out in bars doing it all the time. It's about time I get in on the action while my junk still works!...
A. 23 March 2014: Don't fake it. A girl like me would find it kinda sexy that you don't have experience. I'd love to be the first one to tale some one there ...
Just be yourself man.... (read in full...)
My friend is living a double life and I'm uncomfortable covering for her
Q. Hello. This is a situation where I could really cause some pain and heartache with a good friend of mine but at the same time, I want to respect my elders and follow their rules. Trinity and I have been friends since grade school and we both ...
A. 19 March 2014: Welcome to the metamorphisis every young Christian must go through at some point. It's ok. Trinity is going to get hurt. There is no way to stop that. I'm sorry. Trinity is naive and had been sheltered and the rebellion is facinating t... (read in full...)
I'm a woman and I dreamed I had a penis. What does it mean?
Q. Ok so this is really bugging me and just for reference I am a straight married female and I do not have any fantasies about other women at all. I know I'm more dominant than my husband in life but I don't want to be in bed. I had a crazy drea...
A. 19 March 2014: Maybe it is a symbol of your dominance. How does the penis make you feel? Like you're loosing your femininity? ... (read in full...)
Does he hate me being on top?
Q. Hi, I have a new (a few months) boyfriend. We're both 20 and he lost his virginity to me. The first couple of times we had sex I went on top for a fair bit... but since then we haven't, and I've tried to initiate that but he just seems to want to be ...
A. 19 March 2014: Sounds like my ex husband.
He's an arsehole.
He does not care about your pleasure.
Get a new boyfriend, your lost self -esteem will take longer to find.
... (read in full...)
Heard rumours about this married guy I like. Should I tell him about the rumours, without sounding jealous, nor like a gossip?
Q. I have a good friend in the office. In fact i've a crush on him but will never act on this feeling because he's married. Don't want to get hurt as going out with a married man, it's the worst thing of all to do. Guess he also feels attracted to...
A. 19 March 2014: Stay out of it. Nothing but trouble.... (read in full...)
How do I move on from an affair and a breakup?
Q. Hi, I posted before but for those who didn't read it... here is my story Late 2013 I moved abroad with my boyfriend. I had met him out there travelling and he came back with me to our home country(both from england), but we decided to move ...
A. 19 March 2014: I think you handled it well.
You chose for integrity before getting caught, that says something about you.
This is going to sound wierd.
I believe in female intuation.
I believe your ex was cheating.
I believe your soul knew this a... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to perform oral and I hate it.
Q. I don't know how to say all this without coming out like an asshole but please hear me out. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to go down on her because she goes down on me but I really don't want to. I've tried it before with several girls ...
A. 2 February 2014: You don't have to do it. It grosses you out.
I don't think you two are right for each other.
By the way, I know she is being difficult about the head thing, but sex does hurt. Penetration is really painful if the guy does not know how to talk... (read in full...)
How do I flirt with him?
Q. There's a guy I am interested who works at a pizza place I go to now and then that I'm interested in. He is young probably near my age (19). I am quiet and don't usually flirt so I don't know how to put myself out there. How do I go about flirting ...
A. 2 February 2014: :)
Yeah. Look and smell nice.
Then smile...
Flirting is just an intimidating word for conversation. Just talk to him, about him. Ask questions... if you can crack a joke.
If I suddenly feel nervouse I tell them that...
But initial... (read in full...)
How can I start being nicer to people?
Q. I have a lot of issues with self-esteem and self-confidence because I'm not even averagely pretty or fit and I am just above averagely intelligent. Unfortunately this ends with me being overly sarcastic and loud and rather opinionated arou...
A. 2 February 2014: Heita
I think your first paragraph says it all. Your inner monologue is skrewed up, meisie.
And it's not your loudness that turns people off. It is your self - loathing that you reflect to others and they reflect back.
All Saffers struggl... (read in full...)
Ex wants to be friends but with benefits. But I just want friendship. How do I handle this?
Q. My ex broke up with me since he had come out of a long term relationship not too long ago, and he wasn't ready to go into a new one. I was sad because during the time we were together he acted like a good bf, bt i still wanting him in my life so i ...
A. 2 February 2014: You are not his dick rag and you.heart is not a plaything. Being his rebound was humiliating enough.
Run! Run faaaaaar away. You like him, you are vulnerable and he does not give a shit.
I've been with "that guy". That guy was my first boyfrie... (read in full...)
How can I regain my self confidence and believe in love again?
Q. Hi guys, I have just started a new relationship with an amazing guy, but I am afraid we are not going anywhere. I keep on thinking that I don't deserve being in love, and I tend to get too cynical. I wonder, "if my past relationship failed - ev...
A. 1 February 2014: What you fear you create... (read in full...)
Is there a correlation between a woman's breast size and her partner's use of porn?
Q. I've noticed that there seems to be a link between women with small chests and them saying their boyfriends watch porn and they don't like it. I want to know is there anyone who is big chested and has a boyfriend who uses porn? ...
A. 1 February 2014: Hi. Big chested here. Husband was always a porn head.
Big chested with a flat stomach and a round butt.
He looked like a potatato.... (read in full...)
He wants me to text dirty ...
Q. my boyfriend wants me to send him dirty/horny texts and i don't know what to write.i need some ideas please help....
A. 1 February 2014: It's tricky bc you don't know if you will go to far and turn him off...I would start by asking "So, what would you like me to do to you?" That way you get a litmus test for what he likes.
You didn't mention whether or not you wanted to texr dirt... (read in full...)
How can I appreciate myself despite being faced with prejudice over being a black African.
Q. The negative opinion of black Africans and the negative reaction to to black people has me feeling bad about myself. I've been able to spend more time on the internet and increased social awareness has left me struggling to be happy with my race and ...
A. 23 December 2013: I come from South Africa, famous for racial history.
I think what has helped me.is travel. When I see people of my race be succesful and surround myself with them it helps.
And two sayings.keep me going:
1) You are more than the sum of the... (read in full...)
I recently gave up my virginity and still find sex uncomfortable
Q. Hi, I’m currently in a new relationship with my boyfriend and I have lost my virginity to him. We have tried having sex twice. Every time we have sex, it feels slightly uncomfortable and very tight. My boyfriend can only manage to enter his cock ...
A. 23 December 2013: You have vaginismus which is very common.
I struggled with it for a year (but my husband was a bad lover)
Google it, read up about it and do the excercises.
It is important that you relax. No pressure.... (read in full...)
If men can't be trusted why do we even try?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. I've been with many guys before him and I know this sounds dumb but nobody else gave me this feeling of satisfaction and love that I get from being with him. This relationship feels different from ...
A. 23 December 2013: What you fear you create.
PS:
I LOVE Fatherlyadvice's post... (read in full...)
I've always wanted to be with her but now she is damaged goods
Q. Hi, ive been trying to see some one, but she's working alot of over time right now, so thats her excuse for not calling or texting. We gone out a couple times in the last two months, we were talking alot, an texting, but not now, ive been trying ...
A. 23 December 2013: I'm sorry.
I think she is hurt and terrified.
I think that through her own pain and fear she can not see you clearly.
I think you should write her a note that says : I want to love you, but I can't if you don't let me"
It would be reall... (read in full...)
Can I have some tips please on how to talk to women and how I can better relate to women?
Q. i struggle with women!!!!!!!! i `am the shy type of guy i`m 24 years old and i never have much confidence when it comes to women i never know what to say or do when i`m with women. There are a few who like me, i think, but i don't know what to d...
A. 17 November 2013: Hi
Don't be too starstruck. We are people, just like you, with fears, insecurities and even the occasional gassiness problem.
We have bruisable egoes and hopes.and dreams and fears.
We are a lot like.you, with prettier parts. :)
... (read in full...)
Went on a group date and I'm afraid it blew my chance with the girl I'm interested in
Q. I don't understand my date.My date last night keep sending me messages 3 times in a row after the date. From morning, lunch and just now. I am not attracted to her the way she is into me. I can easily tell she is too much attracted to me. I wa...
A. 30 August 2013: Hi
I'm sorry mate, you are gonna have to bit the bullet and face the music on this one:
Hi [girl]
I am so sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression. I actually thought we were going out as friends? I hope this means we can still be civi... (read in full...)
Lashed out at a friend, feel awful and need advice
Q. I need a bit of advice from some random people. I have an idea of what I need to do, but I am always open to others opinions. Anyway, where do I begin. I started hanging out with this girl back in February as friends. We literally started doing ev...
A. 30 August 2013: Sounds to me like you were in denial about the fact that you guys were dating. So you felt cheated on. ... (read in full...)
I'm a 22 year old virgin, trying to understand and deal with it!
Q. Hi all, I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin. To be honest, it doesn't bother me. It is what it is. I don't believe in sleeping around or getting to know someone for the purpose of sex like most people my age seem to do. I mean, sure there are people w...
A. 29 August 2013: I don'r know. You would have been my perfect guy though. Which makes me think, there's some one out there who is thinking just that.
And do not worry, you are not as alone as you think, though swans are rarer... (read in full...)
Busted by my 8 year old, butt ass naked in the kitchen!
Q. Hello. I am a just turned 31 year old, married mother of an 8 year old daughter. Last night, our daughter was having a sleepover with a friend a few houses down from ours. My husband and I took the opportunity to enjoy our alone time. We wer...
A. 29 August 2013: I saw my mom naked all the time and am not in any way scarred by it. Just say you thought you were alone. If she doesn't ask you don't even have to address it. Even a simple " I was just trying to have some private time with Daddy" will do.... (read in full...)
I feel I'm addicted to having this married man with me, even though he proved to be a liar and a cheater. How can I snap myself out of this?
Q. 2 years ago I met a man whom I fell in love with. We started seeing each other until I found out he was actually married with children (his wife read his messages and contacted me). I was devastated and things ended right there. Since we live ...
A. 15 August 2013: You're clearly not hurt enough yet. And your addiction comes from a hormone called oxytosen- a powerful hormone that bonds a woman to a man or a baby she breast feeds. It is released by : giving birth/ stimulating breasts / having an orgasm... (read in full...)
To apologise for the way I treated her I helped pay for their wedding, but I realize that I love her
Q. This is long and I apologize. But I put myself into this ordeal and I want to know how to get out. I met this great woman when we were 16. We dated the summer after sophomore year (10th grade) but I regret to say that I blew her off most of the ...
A. 15 August 2013: Serving some one makes us love them , because love is not a feeling it is a verb and doing it gives us feelings...
Remember that one day when you are married and have "fallen out of love"
But when I was a newly wed alk thoughts about of mexes fl... (read in full...)
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