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Girls, how do you deal with flirty women around your boyfriend or spouse?

Tagged as: Friends, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 March 2013) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 March 2013)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I guess this question is more directed towards women. Have you ever dealt with those really flirty, skanky women who will not leave your partner alone? Do they not have morals? I was at a party with my fiancee and a couple of his friends last weekend and he ran into a girl him and his friends know. Ever since that night she has not left him alone. She has added him on facebook, messages him all the time, and has even asked him if he wanted her to send naked pictures of herself to him. Really, the problem isn't so much that she flirted with him at the party, but she is aware that I am engaged to him and will not go away. My boyfriend knows somewhat of this woman because some of his friends are associated with her. They are all even talking about all of us going out this weekend (including her) and this is just not okay with me but naturally he wants to be with his friends. I don't want this girl around my boyfriend anymore so what should I do? Have you ever dealt with this before?

View related questions: engaged, facebook, fiance, flirt, nude pictures

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 March 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI don't "deal" with it at all. I trust my husband and I'm not really a jealous person. Now if he ACTIVELY flirts back I will tell him to cut it out if I find it inappropriate.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (8 March 2013):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntThis is on your BF. He needs to have balls to tell her to f### off n if he doesnt it either means hes a wuss or hes interested in her.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013):

You're directing your anger at the wrong person OP. He's the one who's supposed to deal with that properly not her.

If you were getting this kind of attention from a guy, it would be up to you to get rid of him wouldn't it? It would be up to you to handle it. So why is that your fiance hasn't dealt with this and it's somehow her fault?

Good luck OP, she won't be the first to put the moves on him and if you think it's just because there are loads of scumbag ladies out there then you have another thing coming.

OP how a partner deals with attention from the opposite sex is one of the most important parts of being able to trust them. You can get rid of her yourself, blame her all you want but he's the one in the wrong here and even if she decides to stop there'll always be others OP unless he starts dealing with this kind of properly.

OP it's your boyfriend you have to be able to trust, not her she's irrelevant. If he can't say no to or get rid of women like this then how the hell can you trust him?

If I befriended you on facebook and asked you if you wanted to see my dick, what would you do? Blame me and stay as my friend? Convince your boyfriend it's my fault? Hell no, you'd block me, tell me to eat a dick and fuck off. Why hasn't he done that?

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (8 March 2013):

Anonymous 123 agony auntThe question is, why is your boyfriend even talking to this woman who has offered to send him naked pics of hers? Why hasn't he blocked her from Facebook?

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A female reader, ihavetoomanythoughts Australia +, writes (8 March 2013):

ihavetoomanythoughts agony auntI would say that it's up to your fiancee to tell her to knock it off. If you tell her, she'll either become smug knowing you're feeling insecure or she'll lash out at you and redouble her efforts. See how your boyfriend responds to her. If you're not happy with the way he's dealing with it then tell him. If he gives you shit about how it's harmless and doesn't do anything to reassure you then you now know what a crap he is and can make informed decisions about your future. If he takes your feelings into consideration then you can sit back and enjoy the show ;)

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (8 March 2013):

Tisha-1 agony auntWhat do you mean, "he knows somewhat of this woman," she's offered to send naked pictures of herself? He added her on Facebook. She messages him.

Why doesn't he just block her?

I think the real question should be, how do you deal with the boyfriend who adds women who offer to send him naked pictures…

If this weekend outing happens, attach yourself to her, become her bff. Ask her all about her makeup, research her fb page and do not let her leave your side. Ignore the boyfriend for now, he'll be wondering why you are hanging out with a girl who is after him. Confuse him. Confuse her.

You call him a fiancée, then a boyfriend, do you have an actual wedding date or is this more of an evolving relationship?

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