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... Send *ountry Woman a private message | | | *ountry Woman's profile:OK, I wanted to just let everyone know that for now I will not be on the site as I have realised that I need to take some time out for both my own sake and also for my family. I will not delete myself from this site as I totally believe in it whole heartedly as the thanks over the years that I have received from people I have tried to advise has been amazing and given me so much in return. This site helped me get through the loss of my dad in 2007 and I think I hid my grief a lot then but now I need to find my place in my life and need to dedicate all my energy on that goal and also supporting my family as well. Don't ever be afraid to talk to the wonderful aunts and uncles on this site and remember that if Andrew had never started this site so many people would have never had the fantastic advice and help that they needed so much. I will return you can bank on it OK.
A bit about me now I think, hi everyone as it suggests I am a Country Loving woman who has grown up in the countryside and feel very at home in lovely wide open spaces and birds singing in the morning. I am 44 years old and I lived in a semi rural area for over 19 years, my relationship with my long term partner of almost 20 years ended in June 2005.
I still consider my ex as my best friend, we have good and bad days like most people but I try to stay as amicable as possible for my daughter's sake and my own, sometimes things have not always been great during our break up but life goes on.
Even though I am not in a relationship right now, hopefully 2010 may be the year that I can start to dip my toe in the water again on the relationship side of things. Just need the body to wow now, that may take a little longer unfortunately!!! lol
I think that at 44 years of age I have lived a bit and had all sorts of things happen to me so I can only say from my own personal point of view and would never qualify myself as anything other than a helper hopefully.
My motivation in life is seeing my daughter smile and laugh and just being a mum makes me get out of bed every day. I listen to my friends and have some of these since primary school. I like to think that I am a good friend and if I can help someone I will.
I think if someone needs professional help then they should try and get it and I will advise that if it appears that way.
I do believe that life is for the living and we only get one chance of actually enjoying it as too much time is spent on the trivial things of life but after my dad got bowel cancer in 2000 your life takes on a totally different perspective. My dad passed away in Feb 2007 and so I have had personal close bereavement not so long ago and even though people tell you to get on with your life, the reality of it all is not always so clear cut. Although I had to take some time out from this site for me to help my mum and sister I am back to talk any time or try and help. It helps me too if I hear that some of my advice has helped someone deal with a difficult time in their lives as well.
I hope that my advice which is from my personal life experiences help some people and I welcome any response from anyone I try to help.
I hope in some small way I can at least help take away some confusion or hurt from those who are suffering with break ups or all sorts of other problems.
I am not a doom and gloom sort of person and most days have a smile on my face, I totally understand about money worries and the seriousness of how far that can go, even the possibility of repossession, so even if your worries are not relationship based just send me a note and I will see if I can help in any way OK.
Take care and bfn.
Country Woman
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My breasts are heavily bruised from his hands, biting, and sucking. Any worries for the future?
Q. Dear Aunties-- Thanks so much in advance for reading. I care very much for my boyfriend of several months. I thought I should start off saying that to clarify that this isn't a casual situation. Whenever I let my boyfriend feel up my breasts, we g...
A. 24 February 2010: OK when I was with my ex and we were in the middle of lovemaking, he used to sometimes get a little bit too attentive on my breasts as it was something he loved to do and if a man is obsessed with breasts they do concentrate sometimes too much on ... (read in full...)
He's shy and I've been told to be more flirty with him, what do you think?
Q. Im kind of unsure now..and dont know what to think. My mate reckons the guy ive liked for ages actually wants me...but im unsure. Theres been some background between us. To me it was obvious he liked me however i never said anything as i was very ...
A. 6 February 2010: OK I think the time has come to be honest and upfront with this guy, being all flirty with him has made some progress for sure but the guy still really doesn't know for sure that you really really like him and the only way he will believe him is if ... (read in full...)
My friend wants me to have sex with her and I don't want to!
Q. i am kinda in trouble here i have this friend i have known her since we were kids and now she wants me to have sex with her . . . .but i dont see her like that how do i tell her that i just want to be friends i dont know what to do i am confused?...
A. 4 February 2010: Personally I think you have had very sound advice from everyone.
At the end of the day if you are not attracted to this girl sexually and you value her friendship, you have to be honest with her.
Tell her you are flattered that she feels t... (read in full...)
Weighty issue...
Q. heyx at 5ft 2 and 11 stone, i really want to lose weight (need to) but at the same time i love to binge and dont think i can give it up completely. So i was thinking about eating 600 calories a day for 5 days in the week, 3000 calories for one day ...
A. 4 February 2010: Hi
Sorry to say this but that sort of plan has disaster written all over it.
I think you need to look into why you binge eat in the first place.
I can honestly say that my eating habits are far from good and my worst time is in the eve... (read in full...)
I want our relationship back but don't know what to do
Q. My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years now. He has taken on my 4 year old son as his own. Things were so good in the first 2 years of our relationship. We were so happy all of the time, except for the ocassional fight from time to ...
A. 3 February 2010: I realise you don't have any easy choices here, your damned if you do and your damned if you don't.
You shouldn't punish yourself though, just take each day as it comes and maybe make a plan in your head and set your own goals in this, i.e. tod... (read in full...)
I want our relationship back but don't know what to do
Q. My fiance and I have been together for almost 3 years now. He has taken on my 4 year old son as his own. Things were so good in the first 2 years of our relationship. We were so happy all of the time, except for the ocassional fight from time to ...
A. 28 January 2010: Unfortunately when someone loses their job they tend to lose their indentity and have a total feeling of inadequacy.
The only person who can truly help him is actually HIM. If he is going out looking for work and trying to do everything to just ... (read in full...)
I have my ex on a pedestal!
Q. Last year my ex cheated on me with two of my best friends I still liked him so after 5 months we started scoring again (going out without the titles eg. bf and gf) its been awhile now since i ended it and hes had 2 other girlfriends since. I keep ...
A. 13 January 2010: My word take off the rose tinted glasses eh!
What a sleeze, to cheat on you with 2 not 1 of your friend's when you were with him and they were SO CALLED BEST FRIEND'S, not in my book they weren't.
Anyone who could even look at a friend of mine... (read in full...)
How do you end a friendship?
Q. How do you tell a long time friend that your friendship is over? Lets say for instance that if you tell this friend they might hurt themselves or hurt you or do something else. I need help I don't have the courage. I am afraid!...
A. 13 January 2010: I totally see where you are coming from and I think the fact that he is setting you boundaries which should NEVER come into a friendship and even if it happens in a relationship, it then becomes a very one sided relationship.
Friendship should b... (read in full...)
Is she cheating? She lies about where she is going...
Q. ok im 21 and my gf is 20 and we have been dating for 4 years in the past two years we have had two kids both babies stil every thing was goin good until about 2 monts ago she went to a holloween party with some guys from work now i dont want to ...
A. 11 January 2010: Hi
The fact that you know for certain that she is telling you lies means that you cannot leave this any more.
You need to confront her and ask her why she thinks that by telling you a pack of lies that this is acceptable, it isn't.
You h... (read in full...)
How do you end a friendship?
Q. How do you tell a long time friend that your friendship is over? Lets say for instance that if you tell this friend they might hurt themselves or hurt you or do something else. I need help I don't have the courage. I am afraid!...
A. 11 January 2010: You have not given us much information to go on regarding WHY you want to end this friendship?
How long have you known this person and are they male or female out of interest?
If you are saying their state of mind is something that r... (read in full...)
How do I stop my self hatred and eat healthily?
Q. i hate my body and feel fat and ugly. I know im overweight and its affecting my relationship in the bedroom because i dont feel confident or sexy yet i cant stay motivated to keep on diets and exercise. I'll go maybe two weeks of eating really ...
A. 10 January 2010: I know exactly how you feel but my problem is that I cannot do the exercise as I have osteoarthritis in my spine and it doesn't matter what I do with food, I need to exercise to get the weight off.
One thing I did try and if I could have afforded... (read in full...)
How do you tell if it's real labor or false labor?
Q. Hi there, I have a quick question. I'm 20 years old and 36 weeks pregnant soon to be 37. This is my first baby. How do you tell between real labor and false labor? I think I may be in prelabor right now, but I'm not sure. After my boyfriend and I ...
A. 10 January 2010: Ahh well that is good news. Things are progressing but at the right pace and the longer your baby continues to be finished off in the womb (so to speak), the better it is as my daughter was born at 38 weeks and she was only 6lb 1oz and went jaundice ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my husband about my boyfriend or wait till our daughter is 18 as agreed?
Q. Hi, I'd really appreciate some advice regarding my marital situation. I've been married for 19 years and we have one daughter who is about to turn 17 this year. My husband and I have had quite a lot of heated arguments over the years but we loved ...
A. 8 January 2010: Hmmm personally I wonder why this relationship has been going on for so long considering neither one of you have been happy for years and I know that you say it has been for the sake of your daughter but as children get older they are far from ... (read in full...)
Ex is not interested and it hurts
Q. Dear Cupid...so far you are the only person i talk to and who has been kind enough to help.Thank you. Nway with the newyear,i had to make resolutions, that can help me be a better person. So among other stuff, i decided to get into a relationship ...
A. 8 January 2010: Well you have had both male and female perspectives on this one and I think you would be wise to take snippets from everyone but ultimately it is YOUR life and you have to do what YOU want.
You can let him know you still care for him deeply a... (read in full...)
I'm walking on eggshells. Is he a cold person?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. When we first started dating he dropped hints about being very intense and mentioned that his parents used to tell him not to be mean as a child. I didn't understand because he seemed so laid back, ...
A. 7 January 2010: Sweetheart you say he is going to see a therapist soon but you don't say for what reason?
He does have issues and unless these are resolved you will NEVER come up to his expectations.
I think you were originally in the honeymoon period... (read in full...)
Ex is not interested and it hurts
Q. Dear Cupid...so far you are the only person i talk to and who has been kind enough to help.Thank you. Nway with the newyear,i had to make resolutions, that can help me be a better person. So among other stuff, i decided to get into a relationship ...
A. 7 January 2010: Sweetheart there is not much you can do.
He loved you and he was obviously hurt very deeply when things ended between you. It is time to move on no matter how much it hurts.
If he ever lives in the same country as you do then who knows but ri... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has made me feel like dirt
Q. I currently live with my ex bf we have in his eyes been broken up for about 5 months. He has for the most part treated me like crap but sometimes is nice and says he loves me other times he says I don't want to be with you I'm just tolerating you. ...
A. 7 January 2010: Sweetheart at the end of the day why are sticking around when someone has told you that he feels like you have been broken up for the last 5 months.
What are you hoping to change?
You say in the first line of your question that he is your ... (read in full...)
Is he just a mummy's boy or am I being unfair?
Q. My partner and I may have the chance to get a job as a couple managing a private house in a new area. The only thing is, my partner is reluctant to leave his elderly mother who was widowed a year ago. He tends to chauffeur her around at weekends. ...
A. 6 January 2010: I personally think that unless you lose a parent yourself you CANNOT truly know the pain that it causes in grief terms.
My dad died 3 years ago on the 18 Feb 2010 and my mum was his carer for the last 7 years of his life. I was not close to my mu... (read in full...)
My first time was not a good experience and now has me doubting that I might be gay!
Q. im 20 yrs old and im wondering if am i gay??? because i just lost my virginity to a girl complete stranger i dont know i just met her and did it. i thought the sex was gonna be real good cause its my first time but it wasnt hers and it was good but ...
A. 5 January 2010: Personally I think you felt such a let down with the fact that it was just sex and not truly making love which is so much more fulfilling as it is normally with someone you love or care deeply for.
Normally the first time can be painful and just... (read in full...)
Is he just a mummy's boy or am I being unfair?
Q. My partner and I may have the chance to get a job as a couple managing a private house in a new area. The only thing is, my partner is reluctant to leave his elderly mother who was widowed a year ago. He tends to chauffeur her around at weekends. ...
A. 5 January 2010: So I am assuming that this private house is a fair distance away, is that right?
Is it within driving distance or too far to consider?
If your partner has other siblings, then they should be pulling their weight as well.
However, it cou... (read in full...)
Boyfriend semi cheated!
Q. well to start of my boyfriend over the summer was in basic training and then work training. we wrote to each other everyday..and i trusted him with all my heart till this, i was in his laptop and i was looking thru is mobile uploads to find he had a ...
A. 5 January 2010: Sorry but still confused, can't always get all the text speak as old hat I guess when it comes to writing things down.
Did your bf sleep with someone or just kiss them?
If the other time was just a kiss and it was a long time OK, then talk to... (read in full...)
How do you tell if it's real labor or false labor?
Q. Hi there, I have a quick question. I'm 20 years old and 36 weeks pregnant soon to be 37. This is my first baby. How do you tell between real labor and false labor? I think I may be in prelabor right now, but I'm not sure. After my boyfriend and I ...
A. 5 January 2010: Well you could have had braxten hichs pain (sorry can't spell it), but like Angzw has said it may be prudent to just get yourself checked over by even a midwife as you could be dialated without knowing it.
If you are having a thorough check up... (read in full...)
I think he's online cheating, but how to find out or confront him?
Q. hi, my partner and I have been together 6 years, he is 29 I am 24, we live together. About 3 months my boyfriend started using a couple of dating sites to make friends. this was ok with me because he was totally open about it all and he made it...
A. 5 January 2010: Sounds to me like there is a lot of depression going on in your lives right now.
You are both still relatively young and the life you describe is one that is not right for you both.
There needs to be some radical changes as you cannot be yo... (read in full...)
My bf has cheated twice, what should I do?
Q. I havn't been on here for a while, but I could really do with some opinions on what to do here. So here's the thing, I've been with my boyfriend for 1year 10months now, he's sixteen and i'm sixteen in February, we've been completley fine ...
A. 4 January 2010: Well OK first and foremost you need to define actually cheating?
You say that he kissed a girl before but nothing more than that, was that all it was or was it sex as well?
Now you say through hear say you heard that your bf kissed a girl so... (read in full...)
Girl I slept with is pregnant and I'm wondering do I contact her?
Q. While very intoxicated over the summer, I had sex with this girl from my hometown (who i came to find out is quite premiscuous). On top of that, I don't remember using a condom. The other day my friend tells me that this girl has been sending ...
A. 4 January 2010: I think you have basically had very sound advice from both CaringGuy and Angzw as this girl could latch onto anyone who has slept with her and milk them for all their worth.
I would definitely want a full DNA test if she says the baby could be... (read in full...)
Is the pill working? anyone else know of this problem or what it could be?
Q. Hi, i was wondering if anyone else had this problem with the pill - i've been on it for over a year and never had any problems but this month i started bleeding in the middle of the pack, and not spotting i mean an actual heavy period which lasted 2 ...
A. 4 January 2010: I found the pill to be fine for me initially but after a while if I missed about 2 pills then I would suffer what you are having and that is break through bleeds, they are more common than you think and it really does depend on if you have missed ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend semi cheated!
Q. well to start of my boyfriend over the summer was in basic training and then work training. we wrote to each other everyday..and i trusted him with all my heart till this, i was in his laptop and i was looking thru is mobile uploads to find he had a ...
A. 4 January 2010: You are still very young exactly as CaringGuy says so don't put all your faith in one guy OK.
What I would say though is it is natural for guys to look at women as women look at men. Pornography or what used to be girlie magazines on the shelf we... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and might be pregnant and afraid to tell my family
Q. ok i am 13 and i might be pregnant. i am stuck in a horrible situation. my parents just got in devorce and three or four days ago i movfed eight hours away from my mom and boyfriend. we used protected ex but the condom broke. he is 16 and loves ...
A. 4 January 2010: First things first, you need to confirm whether you are definitely pregnant or not, you could we worrying when you may not be pregnant.
What signs are there right now that you think you might be pregnant with?
You need to get some sort of hom... (read in full...)
How do you tell if it's real labor or false labor?
Q. Hi there, I have a quick question. I'm 20 years old and 36 weeks pregnant soon to be 37. This is my first baby. How do you tell between real labor and false labor? I think I may be in prelabor right now, but I'm not sure. After my boyfriend and I ...
A. 4 January 2010: Know that you are now possibly in the midst of things and not online but just hope everything goes smoothly for you and please just do one thing for me when you get home again.
Don't try to be a super mum OK, I tried and it doesn't work.
Slee... (read in full...)
How do you tell if it's real labor or false labor?
Q. Hi there, I have a quick question. I'm 20 years old and 36 weeks pregnant soon to be 37. This is my first baby. How do you tell between real labor and false labor? I think I may be in prelabor right now, but I'm not sure. After my boyfriend and I ...
A. 4 January 2010: You cannot exactly time when your baby is going to come but a lot of doctors like you to try and wait as long as possible.
I started labour at 36 weeks after I caught a sickness bug and they monitored me and my daughter in hospital for a few days... (read in full...)
Am I falling out of love after 10 years?
Q. I've Been with my girlfriend for almost 10 years. We've had our ups and downs are best friends... recently a lot of the little things she does bothers me. And they're begining to urk me more and more to the point where it turns me off. Why is ...
A. 4 January 2010: Personally I think you no longer have the rose tinted glasses on and when we get into the mundane routine of a relationship the spark sometimes disappears.
How do you know that you don't annoy your gf to?
Maybe sitting down and chatting wou... (read in full...)
I think he's online cheating, but how to find out or confront him?
Q. hi, my partner and I have been together 6 years, he is 29 I am 24, we live together. About 3 months my boyfriend started using a couple of dating sites to make friends. this was ok with me because he was totally open about it all and he made it...
A. 4 January 2010: Sweetheart your gut instinct is rarely wrong I'm afraid.
When someone goes onto a dating site they are trying to normally spice up their lives as they feel something is missing and they want to meet someone new.
I am afraid to say that even th... (read in full...)
I'm not cheating so why doesn't he believe that?
Q. my boyfriend always accuses me of cheating. i have have done everything i think i can to show him i would never ever do that. i have tried begging for him to beleive me, told him all my secrets to get trust, been 100% honest about my past, alot of ...
A. 30 December 2009: Unfortunately sweetheart this is not YOUR issue it is his.
He is insecure and keeps on testing you which is just not right.
If you want to push someone away, then it is the easiest way to do it as someone will only take so much before they... (read in full...)
My husband leaves all family responsibility on me, how can I be happy again?
Q. i am married now for 2years i was married with two kids i work and he works also, my salary is smaller than his but i pay more bills than he pays and he spends his money in pubs with friends, i feel very bad, i am responsible for all, for my kids...
A. 29 December 2009: From the difference in language etc, I am guessing you had your children with someone else before your current husband?
Is that right?
A marriage is meant to be about equality and if you are paying everything and he is accepting that t... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and I think he's been lying to me the whole time!
Q. Hey im 36 weeks pregnant and i dont know what im going to do im in love with my babys father but i think that he has been lying to me the whole time me and him have been together and i think that the person he told me was his ex is not that they are ...
A. 29 December 2009: Sweetheart the last thing you need to concentrate on right now is anything other than yourself and your baby.
You should not be stressing out on maybe's and what if's.
You should be relaxing and keeping your blood pressure down as it is no... (read in full...)
I need advice on my cheating girlfriend!
Q. Hey guys im rather upset about this but just wanted some constructive feedback and others opinions on it. last night my girlfriend of 4 years went to her male friends house and just them two were drinking until they were completely wasted and he...
A. 29 December 2009: Hi
I am glad at the end of the day, you were strong enough to finally call it quits.
The fact that she was begging you to set HER the boundaries, means that she has no comprehension of right and wrong and you are not her parents or her t... (read in full...)
I want to have sex as a Christmas present!
Q. I'm 14 and I want to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend for a late Christmas present. I know where everything goes and the mechanics of it, but how do I go about beginning it, making myself horny so that I feel less self-conscious and I ...
A. 20 December 2009: Sweetheart it isn't about a race you know or saying here's a LATE CHRISTMAS present - MY VIRGINITY.
It is way too precious to just give it away to a bf who really won't care when you give it to him, he has either had it before with someone ... (read in full...)
He tells me that he wants to work it out with his new girlfriend...but he fantasizes about me?
Q. Hi Everyone, My ex boyfriend is a very confused man. Well we have been broken up for 8 months now and honestly our relationship was great. I do think he got scared of how fast things were moving. It was a very passionate relationship. Since we broke...
A. 20 December 2009: Both CaringGuy and LazyGuy have given you extremely good sound advice.
This guy is a player and he sounds completely immature as well.
The whole fantasy thing is what gets him off and no one should be used in any way.
Do yourself a favour ... (read in full...)
He's always starting arguments but says its me!
Q. Everytime I say something,anything,or make a comment,he always has something to say.He try to start an argument but always saying it's me.It's like he trying to tell me something and push me away...What is it?...
A. 20 December 2009: Hi
I am guessing you are talking about your bf here? Is that right?
How long have you been with him and has things changed i.e. you didn't used to have arguments and now you do all the time?
A little bit more info please as your question ... (read in full...)
Although we've made up now my boyfriend is having a party and the girl he cheated with might be there!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me 2 months ago - slept with someone else at a party. Completely unexpected and completely against my morals. More detail in previous q's of mine! But to the point of this one... Rightly, or probably wrongly, i gave ...
A. 16 December 2009: Personally it sounds to me like he is fed up with being GOOD in his eyes and he wants to party on New Year's Eve, maybe his mates are saying things like, "the missus keeping a tight reign on you since you were a naughty boy"?
Perhaps he now feel... (read in full...)
I need advice on my cheating girlfriend!
Q. Hey guys im rather upset about this but just wanted some constructive feedback and others opinions on it. last night my girlfriend of 4 years went to her male friends house and just them two were drinking until they were completely wasted and he...
A. 15 December 2009: After reading everyone else's comments and yours as well, you have to ask yourself this "what am I getting out of this so called relationship", if it is occasional sex and not amazing sex, plus she is spending time with this other guy, cut your ... (read in full...)
Although we've made up now my boyfriend is having a party and the girl he cheated with might be there!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me 2 months ago - slept with someone else at a party. Completely unexpected and completely against my morals. More detail in previous q's of mine! But to the point of this one... Rightly, or probably wrongly, i gave ...
A. 8 December 2009: Yes well if this girl does seek you out on the night and asks to talk then tell her you would rather do that on another day and just exchange telephone numbers instead.
OK she could lie through her teeth if she is actually after him but you can ... (read in full...)
Although we've made up now my boyfriend is having a party and the girl he cheated with might be there!
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me 2 months ago - slept with someone else at a party. Completely unexpected and completely against my morals. More detail in previous q's of mine! But to the point of this one... Rightly, or probably wrongly, i gave ...
A. 8 December 2009: Sweetheart I don't think there is any magic words or advice that is going to make you feel better about this situation.
I think your bf is damn lucky you decided to give him a second chance but does he know that you are not likely to make that exc... (read in full...)
I need advice on my cheating girlfriend!
Q. Hey guys im rather upset about this but just wanted some constructive feedback and others opinions on it. last night my girlfriend of 4 years went to her male friends house and just them two were drinking until they were completely wasted and he...
A. 20 November 2009: OK so basically you have no proof that anything other than a kiss and a cuddle has happened? Is that right?
If you don't feel you can trust your gf, especially when she is around drink and especially when she is around this guy, you need to confr... (read in full...)
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