A
female
age
30-35,
*aisyAmerica
writes:I really need help. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend almost 4 years. When we met i thought i found my dream guy. He spends a lot of time on internet. We had sex but very seldom. But he stoped having sex with the exuses not to make me pragnant that he is not ready yet to that. Than i asked him to use protection but he said he doesnt like with protection. I was ok with that since i found out he watches porn a lot, not simple porn, raped porns. I never looked his laptop before than i started to look up his history al the time. Than i decided to take birth control to keep our relationship, but after that we had just once sex, and he started to make an exuse i dont trust birth control, that he is not ready for that. I agreed again.I am attractive, but he makes me to feel awful, i am doing mu best to attract him but he even doesnt get tempted. I asked him if its ok what is going on with our sex life. He says he gets tempted but he controls himself. I cought him masturbating, and talked about porn averything, and he promised he will not watch. I love him and he says that too but is it healthy or even ok when i want him all the time but he acts this way. I even asked if anything wrong with me tell me i might fix it but he says all the time no nothing wrong with me or you, i am just not ready, he focused to his career but he even doesnt do anything to have career except sitting on internet all the time....what should i do?
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female
reader, DaisyAmerica +, writes (8 March 2013):
DaisyAmerica is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to everybody, i really apriciate all replies......
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 March 2013):
 It sounds as though he is an internet porn addict. He will need to quit it in order to have a hope for a normal sexual and intimate relationship with him. There's some great information about the problem here: http://yourbrainonporn.com
I recommend you watch this video: http://www.upworthy.com/this-is-what-happens-when-kids-grow-up-on-unlimited-access-to-pornography in order to understand what sort of problem he has and the issue you are facing.
I would leave him to sort it out himself. Maybe when he sinks low enough, much like a drug addict or alcoholic, he'll decide to get help.
I would show him that site and the video and let him decide if he is ready to get help.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 March 2013):
What should you do? If you get an answer other than "leave him" I'll be surprised.
Look, you need to understand what the purpose of dating is, maybe that will help you come to the decision on your own.
Our lives only last for so long. Waiting around for the wrong guy to transform into the right guy, or settling for the wrong guy just doesn't make sense. That's why we date. You go out with someone until you realize that they're not right for you, then you move on and try to find someone that IS right for you.
When you've found Mr. Right and dated for long enough to know you're compatible, you take the relationship to the next level. Ideally you'll share goals and have a rewarding and happy life together, not to mention raise some great kids.
If you don't follow the "rules" of dating you will be one of the people married to someone who you hate and ultimately waste away the precious time you were given on this earth.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 March 2013):
 i don't know why this somewhat alarms me, but it does.
i'm not saying there's something wrong with your boyfriend, but there's something that feels off with the fact that he sits and watches rape porn and gets turned on but won't touch his girlfriend.
what that says to me is that he's gotten himself so entangled in this sick sexual fetish, that he no longer can get turned on at a consenting partner.
if this were healthy, he would watch the porn and then turn around and want to be with you. or you two could watch it together and act out a rape scene if you were consenting. but he wants no part of consenting sex with you. why? perhaps because it IS consenting. perhaps because it's not legitimate rape. read about ted bundy. just sayin.
not trying to scare you, but this seems a bit off. i would be rather alarmed, to some degree.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 Hi
What should you do? Walk away.
He appears to have no interest in improving the relationship.He is not meeting your needs,he is just plain selfish.You have tried talking,you have tried to make it work.Leave him to his online porn.
And leave now while your young,find somebody who is mature enough to have a real relationship with you.
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