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Ever since I can remember people have always fascinated me. I seemed to be very adept at solving people’s “life” problems and I never tired of the constant flow of friends asking for my help. I have always been a great listener and have a lot of patience and empathy for people and have written for advice columns in the past.
I am a Relationships Councillor and Life Coach and have a special aptitude with people. I have been active on this site for a number of years. I'm very much a positive thinker and hate being around negative people. Life is for living, it's too short to moan all the time. I'm determined, very spiritual, grounded, independent, strong willed and love life. Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success. Always be on the lookout for ways to nurture your dream.
If you realized just how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
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Latest articles: REAL Love!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 July 2010: I have written this blog a few times but I thought I'd write it in an "article", that way people can always view it. To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love"...
Some tips for a happy marriage!
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: MARRIAGE - WHAT IS EXPECTED IN A MARRIAGE? Once you marry, don’t expect everything just to fall into place. Marriage is a serious commitment but it needs to be continually worked at. Too many people today go into marriage for the wrong reasons, t...
20 questions to ask someone on a date!
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: So many of the younger ones on this site tend to be a bit tongue tied about what to ask their date so here are 20 things to ask someone on that first date. 1. What do you like to do when you're not working? 2. Where in the world would you most...
Why do you think marriages break up more now than in the past?
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 October 2008: Do you remember years ago when families used to sit in at nights? They had no TV, no computer games, no telephones, no DVD's, no video recorders etc etc. They had one another! They had TIME to get to know one another, to BE with one another to ...
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I don't think I am that much in love with him. Is it key to a happy marriage to be absolutely in love with your future spouse?
Q. The story of my life is that never ever a man who I was in love with and adored was in love with me back. Every time something starts and I feel incredibly in love, after awhile an interest in me fades. My boyfriend is a very nice man. He has...
A. 9 October 2014: Your feelings are luke warm towards him and that's not enough to even contemplate marrying. Could it be that its BECAUSE he is crazy on you your feelings have lessened and feeling of "the chase" is gone?
Ask yourself how you would feel without ... (read in full...)
I'm back with my ex but I'm not sure its a good thing
Q. Has too much happened to try again? I've been in realationship with now ex bf for 5 months. He really swept me off my feet, we have fun and are into the same things. The relationship has been full on virtually from the beginning. I'm a lone paren...
A. 8 January 2013: Sageoldguy has made some valid points well worthy of your consideration.
You need to think too, WHY you broke up in the first place. It might also be an idea not to drink so much while in each others company as this only compounds argument... (read in full...)
How do I keep from talking to much when I'm nervous around my date?
Q. I seem to talk a lot when I'm nervous. I think my new guy was a little annoyed the other night he was trying to leave but I kept talking to him. He was polite then said baby I have to go I'm so tired. I felt so silly did I blow things? I get so ...
A. 8 January 2013: It's common to gibber out of nerves when on a date. The good thing is you are aware of it. Here are some good pointers for you -
1. LISTEN to what he's saying. This is the most important part of any conversation. Conversation might all be about... (read in full...)
We have been secretly dating for 6 months and our anniversary is coming up?
Q. He and I have been a couple for 6 months now, none of our friends, family members, acquaintances, teachers or anybody knowing. We have kept it a secret between the two of us because his friends would NEVER approve of me and our relationship. If you ...
A. 13 November 2012: The best way to make it special and meaningful is to get out there, both of you and let everyone know you're a couple... shout it from the rooftops!!!
We are all imperfect, yes... even those shallow friends of his. You need to have more respect ... (read in full...)
Is there anyway a doctor could diagnose me without having to touch me down there?
Q. hi all, this is going to be a weird/awkward/gross question... but, I don't know where else to ask. I vaguely remember this... when I was probably 11 or so, I found a sort of sex toy or maybe a ring thing that would go around the guy and it vibra...
A. 13 November 2012: I really feel your fear and frustration over all of this. You are worrying about this to the point where it is starting to ruin your life AND possibly your relationship. Masturbating and fooling around with the "toy" is normal so don't feel bad ... (read in full...)
What can I do? My love has faded. I don't know how to break up with him. And I cry just thinking about breaking up.
Q. I need help..I've fallen out of love with my boyfriend. Been together for six months..i thought he couldn't handle commitment, and that he only wanted sex but he seems to put more effort into the relationship and i can see that he's really changing ...
A. 2 November 2012: You did the right thing and it wasn't so bad was it? Well done and good luck in the future.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Did my alcoholic husband cheat on me, and was it to get back at me for cheating?
Q. My husband has a drinking problem and likes to stay out later than I think is right especially on weekday nights. Things haven't been going well for us and on Monday we decided that he should stay in the camper for a little while. On Thursday...
A. 30 October 2012: From reading your letter I'd definitely say that things need to change in your life. The only person who knows the answer to your question however, is your husband and I suggest you ask him again when he's sobered up but without any drama as that ... (read in full...)
Who do I believe? My friend? Or the guy?
Q. Sorry in advance, this is probably going to be long. I've been joking up with this guy since July. From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious and if either of us wanted it to end we would say it flat out. We got closer over the weeks ...
A. 29 October 2012: Cerberus says it all I'm afraid and I agree with him 100% on this, sad as the case may be... but true.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Am I just loving him beyond his imperfections?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now and like any other relationship it had it's 'honeymoon' stage but our 'honeymoon' stage lasted for over a year which was an acheivement for both of us as we never had such relationships ...
A. 28 October 2012: Why was he shouting at you... because you went out with guy friends? Has something happened in the past for him not to trust you?
You not letting him know where you are just because he didn't let you know where he was is quite petty. Two righ... (read in full...)
What can I do? My love has faded. I don't know how to break up with him. And I cry just thinking about breaking up.
Q. I need help..I've fallen out of love with my boyfriend. Been together for six months..i thought he couldn't handle commitment, and that he only wanted sex but he seems to put more effort into the relationship and i can see that he's really changing ...
A. 28 October 2012: Don't feel guilty, you're doing the right thing and above all you're being HONEST with him. Let me know how it goes.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
What can I do? My love has faded. I don't know how to break up with him. And I cry just thinking about breaking up.
Q. I need help..I've fallen out of love with my boyfriend. Been together for six months..i thought he couldn't handle commitment, and that he only wanted sex but he seems to put more effort into the relationship and i can see that he's really changing ...
A. 28 October 2012: I can totally understand your frustration. You like him and don't want to hurt him and you have a history together. Think of it this way, wouldn't you be hurting him more if you continued to see him knowing how you felt... besides, he'll know ... (read in full...)
Why no call after weekend if he enjoyed it so?
Q. My guy was interested in me several months before I knew. Finally he was able to tell me. I am 44 but don't look it and he is 26, very mature and level headed. We have officially been together over a month. Spent my birthday weekend together in ...
A. 27 October 2012: Thanks for getting back to me in an email. I'll answer you there okay?
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Why no call after weekend if he enjoyed it so?
Q. My guy was interested in me several months before I knew. Finally he was able to tell me. I am 44 but don't look it and he is 26, very mature and level headed. We have officially been together over a month. Spent my birthday weekend together in ...
A. 27 October 2012: Before I answer it would be interesting to know - How often did you go out in the month you were together? Did you sleep with him on your first "date?" I'll get back to you if you can clarify this for me.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Am I just loving him beyond his imperfections?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 3 years now and like any other relationship it had it's 'honeymoon' stage but our 'honeymoon' stage lasted for over a year which was an acheivement for both of us as we never had such relationships ...
A. 27 October 2012: You need to build the trust in your relationship again. Start afresh, say nothing about your past, put it to rest and let your ACTIONS do the talking. If you can prove to him over a period of time that you are loyal and honest and put your ... (read in full...)
I don't want to creep him out by telling him how I feel... what should I do?
Q. I am 16 years old and passionately in love with someone who doesn't feel the same for me. He knows I like him but not that I love him. I can't seem to be able to tell him. I love him so much, physically and mentally. I cant imagine life without ...
A. 25 October 2012: You said "he has absolutely no idea..." I take it from that you mean on what level you like him? He DOES know you like him, more than just like him so you definitely don't need to elaborate on that and I definitely would NOT tell him your true ... (read in full...)
Could he like me too or is it just coincedence?
Q. So, I have this classmate. I think I really like him. Last night we went out together, but as friends, I guess. We were sitting at the bar and were laughing all the time. He layed his arm right next to mine and touched my hand. He just kept it that ...
A. 24 October 2012: When I read your post I thought "yes, he likes her..." but then I saw read the part when you said that he told you he'd been with two girls only to find out he always makes the wrong choices "...because they just weren't GOOD to him..." What ... (read in full...)
I'm into a guy who isn't into me and it's getting me really down. Please help!
Q. I feel so sad. I am into a guy who isn't into me and it is making me feel so so down. I know it is a waste to even care and at my old age of 38, you think I would know better. I met him a month and a half a go at a music festival he is 3...
A. 19 July 2012: He may be confused because of his faith but I don't think that's the reason (as he has slept with 6 other women.) Things DID seem to go very fast and you both slept together too soon. After him telling you he was scared things were moving to fast ... (read in full...)
Should I really have to train my 27 year old boyfriend how to communicate?
Q. Hey, I'm not sure what to do or think. I have dated my boyfriend for a year. and he struggles with communication. I've tried to be very patient and let him be, and let him talk more when he is ready. However a lot of issues starting coming ab...
A. 16 July 2012: If you can't reach a compromise then you're better going your seperate ways I'm afraid as you'll only end up resenting him or worse still hating him.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Should I really have to train my 27 year old boyfriend how to communicate?
Q. Hey, I'm not sure what to do or think. I have dated my boyfriend for a year. and he struggles with communication. I've tried to be very patient and let him be, and let him talk more when he is ready. However a lot of issues starting coming ab...
A. 16 July 2012: Both of you sound insecure in this relationship. There needs to be TRUST here on both sides, which seems to be lacking. If you continue to make such a big deal out of this then you'll end up pushing him into someone else's arms. Although it's ... (read in full...)
Have my wife and friend been intimate behind my back?
Q. A while ago I asked for advice about fulfilling my wifes mfm fantasy with my friend. A resounding 'bad idea' was what most people said,which is fair enough and we are not going to pursue it. However,some of u said that given what I'd said about our ...
A. 16 July 2012: Apart from you and your wife talking about having a 3-some, have you ever mentioned 3-somes to your friend in conversation... because someone has!
The idea is turning your wife on and it's turning your friend on too. It doesn't necessar... (read in full...)
I love him, but I'm not happy. Should I let this relationship go?
Q. Hi! I am in an interesting relationship. It's not an easy one to be in. My partner and I have been together for 5 and a half years. Through out that time I have struggled with turning into an alcoholic and depression. When we were first ...
A. 15 July 2012: First of all I want to commend you for making the decision to give up drinking. You want to change your lifestyle, but unfortunately he doesn't and THAT'S where the problem lies. It's natural you'll still have feelings for this man. You chose ... (read in full...)
Was he cheating on me, or was it just a lapse in judgement?
Q. Please, any advice is so appreciated! My boyfriend and I (22 and 21) have been seeing each other for a little over a year. I am his first serious relationship. He is my second. I am a go-getter. I am very motivated in both school and work. I am a...
A. 15 July 2012: Wow! You sure know how to make a guy feel good. He didn't cheat on you, nothing like it. He was fed up, pissed off because of the fall out and spoke to a couple of random people who were female so cut the guy some slack.
You are totally ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my friend. Is this situation hopeless?
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm greatly in need of help, and I can accept an honest answer... whatever that is. I just need to pour my heart out to someone, because I'm in more pain that I can bear. I've been so lonely for a long time that it's become unbearabl...
A. 15 July 2012: There's one sure way to find out if he has feelings for you and that is to ask him outright. It may be that the kiss you shared was because he was feeling particularly vulnerable and needed someone when he was going through a rough time and you ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend back!
Q. How do I get my Ex-Boyfriend want me back? My boyfriend broke up with me last Saturday when I called him and asked is that you don't want to be with me anymore and he simply said 'no' and said he had to go. Then he removed his relationship stat...
A. 5 February 2012: He's your first true love and the one you lost your virginity to so he'll always be kind of special to you. When we have relationships it's to see if we get along and if we're compatible. As time's gone on, he's obviously felt you and him weren't ... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from my boyfriend and I'm confused. Please help me.
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for about 7 months now and in that space of time we have had to go through alot to name a few, me losing my job, his mum visiting for 3 week (i didnt meet her, she traditional) and he went away for 5 week. when ...
A. 5 February 2012: Seven months isn't a long time together. Add to that the 5 weeks he's been away, that's less than 6 months. It could be that your boyfriend wants to slow things down a little as he feels things are possibly moving too quickly. Or it could be that ... (read in full...)
What does my boyfriend's dream mean?
Q. Okay my boyfriend woke up one day and called me and told me his dream, him and his ex arent exactly friends anymore due to her eager fighting ways and well she is suicidal at times, he woke up and told me he had a dream and I asked him to text me it ...
A. 10 September 2011: You're very welcome. Glad I was able to help.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
She's less enthusiastic in bed now. Is My Girlfriend Being Selfish In Bed
Q. I'm new to this but it has gotten to the point where I need somebody's opinion. I've been dating my girlfriend for close to 3 and half years and I'm very much in love with her. Like most relationships, it was pretty "active" in the beginning and ...
A. 10 September 2011: Now that you're both much more familiar with one another she's letting you know that giving you oral sex doesn't do anything for her and that she doesn't enjoy giving it to you. It could be that you take too long to cum and this is putting her ... (read in full...)
So how do I survive and triumph and wash this guy out of my hair? Still in anger mode after the break up.
Q. Hey everyone, I'd like to thank everyone who helped me a month ago to realize that I had to break up with my long distance boyfriend who was in the army. It was the best decision I ever made. It was difficult to end it because he kept talking t...
A. 10 September 2011: "I know full well his status's and his childish behaviour is for attention and he loves it." - It's also to get YOUR attention and your back up and it's working. Why are you even bothering about him now? Why have you not already deleted him from ... (read in full...)
UPDATE What can I say to get a conversation going?
Q. Hello again, everyone. I posted a question on here on the 5th July this year. Briefly, I was running into a woman on the journey to work every day and did I think she was the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen? Yes! The question I asked was, as ...
A. 6 September 2011: It's nice to see that the advice given on the site really works! I'm delighted for you and wish you both all the best in the future.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Is it normal that sex hurts?
Q. When im going to have sex I only want my bfs penis to go half way in it feels good for me but when he tries to go all the way in omg it hurts is that normal??? i havent gone to a doctor to ask im shy can anyone help? please thank you :)...
A. 19 May 2011: You might want to try the "spoons" position where you lie on your side with your back to him and he enters you from behind. The main thing to remember though is to RELAXXXX.
~Eve~... (read in full...)
Is it normal that sex hurts?
Q. When im going to have sex I only want my bfs penis to go half way in it feels good for me but when he tries to go all the way in omg it hurts is that normal??? i havent gone to a doctor to ask im shy can anyone help? please thank you :)...
A. 17 May 2011: Sex CAN hurt the first few times you have it but as time goes on the pain should decrease. It could be that your hymen isn't properly broken but I think personally it's because you're not relaxed.
The average female vagina is about 3 inches l... (read in full...)
My son just had a baby with his GF, who was sexually abused by her mom's boyfriend. Now they've buried the hatchet and my grand daughter is left at home with this sick man!!
Q. I have a problem my 17 year old son is dating a 17 year old girl. They have had a baby recently but the worse problem besides they are teens is a year to year and half ago my sons girlfriends moms live in boyfriend sexually abused her. she had ...
A. 20 April 2011: The matter is in hand, social services AND the police have been alerted and have made their decision. Without knowing what led up to him coming on to this teenager we really (in my opinion can't judge.) We don't know the facts and if she (the ... (read in full...)
Family first? Or the love of my life?
Q. Hey everyone, ok I need some help I'm in a really sticky situation right now! So here it goes, I've been with this. Guy for nearly a year now we work together everyday and always have eachothers company, however we broke up for a month because he ...
A. 17 April 2011: You'll go through a LOT more heartache and unpleasantness with his controlling ways in time to come if he doesn't compromise and meet you half way on things. He's insecure and needs to learn to TRUST you! Your boyfriend is controlling you and YOU ... (read in full...)
He's giving me mixed signals, do I have a chance with him?
Q. ok so theres this guy that i met like 6 months ago and i recently started to have feelings for him but i don't know if he likes me back. Sometimes he seems like he likes me a lot and sometimes he seems like he doesn't care at all. My friends ...
A. 17 April 2011: I think he DOES like you... very much but he seems shy and insecure. He genuinely cares for you but takes a back seat when you go out in a group, again could be because he's shy. You are both still very young, I wouldn't worry too much about this ... (read in full...)
I'm a pagan and he's a jehovas witness...can this work?
Q. hey, i'll try to keep this short. theres this guy i really fancy and we got on brilliantly, well we still do. but recently i found out he's a strict jehovas witness. for most people that wouldn't be a problem, they'd still try and ask him out anyw...
A. 8 March 2011: If he is as you say and is a "strict Jehovah's Witness" then there is absolutely no way on this earth would he look to you as more than a friend. "Strict" means dating only other witnesses and even then he'd need to be at least 16 to do that. ... (read in full...)
Married and need help getting my wife in the mood!
Q. Hi I am having problems getting my wife in the mood, does anyone have any suggestions? We have been married for 5 years and have a one year old child... Sex life was great while trying to get pregnant. Now It seems she's not into the mood to...
A. 20 February 2011: A great way to bring the passion back into a marriage is to CHALLENGE ONE ANOTHER - NO SEX FOR 2 WEEKS! Talk about it and draw up a chart together. I'll give an example based on a 2 week sex abstention.
For the next 2 weeks, (3 weeks, 4... (read in full...)
What is the secret to being happy?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a question I'd appreciate your honest answer to. How many of you are truly happy in your lives? If so, what are your lives like and what's most important to you? What do you think the secret is to being HAPPY? How...
A. 1 February 2011: The secret to being happy: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind free from worry, live simply, expect little, give much, fill your life with love, scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others and do as you would be done by. Try this ... (read in full...)
The most difficult question ever: What is Love???
Q. Last night my boyfriend asked my what does love mean to me. I told him it means everything to me .He said i dont understand. I told him its hard to describe love for me. Then he told me how can i love someone if i cant even describe what it is to ...
A. 29 January 2011: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
Female advice needed, what is love?
Q. I want to know what love is. I have female friends and I basically want to marry the girl at the first couple time we talk. But then, I realize... I was not falling in love with any of them. I was just being a male that want to have sex. I real...
A. 15 January 2011: To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just ... (read in full...)
Is this simply a case of him wanting the best of both worlds?
Q. Ok so if I was to explain the story in full, you'd be reading for a loooong time, so i'l try to keep it brief! basically, me and my ex were together for 3 and a half years and, to my knowledge, everything was great, we had talked about spending the ...
A. 2 December 2010: It could be that he's only had one serious relationship... (You!) He's curious and is wanting to see if the grass is greener on the other side. How do you expect him to take you seriously and remain loyal to you when you're still "giving to him" ... (read in full...)
What does my boyfriend's dream mean?
Q. Okay my boyfriend woke up one day and called me and told me his dream, him and his ex arent exactly friends anymore due to her eager fighting ways and well she is suicidal at times, he woke up and told me he had a dream and I asked him to text me it ...
A. 28 November 2010: Being at the foot of water symbolizes your unconscious and your emotional state of mind. He needs to "stay on top" of his emotions and not let them explode out of hand. Him being constantly reminded by her friends and family just confirms in his ... (read in full...)
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