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... Send *itris a private message | | | *itris's profile:At 29 I have been engaged, in and out of several different relationships and situations over the years. I live in the Pacific Northwest, spent 6 years working in nursing and love working with and helping others. Recently have been described as being very altruistic, open, honest, caring and intelligent.
I have very few things that really get to me. I refuse to tolerate abuse, cheating and hard drug use.
I do currently have a LT live in boyfriend.
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I want to give him a chance but he punches me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend over 2 years and we're madly in love. However on a number of occassions he has punched etc.He has not beat me up and never badly hurt me. I used to blame myself but not anymore . After warning him never to touch me ...
A. 29 July 2009: I am very angry with some of the answers in this post! Calling this girl stupid and other degrading remarks are not at all helpful to her. If anything these things are damaging to her sense of self! Especially if she is in such a place where trying ... (read in full...)
I want to give him a chance but he punches me!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend over 2 years and we're madly in love. However on a number of occassions he has punched etc.He has not beat me up and never badly hurt me. I used to blame myself but not anymore . After warning him never to touch me ...
A. 28 July 2009: I would say that you should go to counseling with him, if only to make sure that he follows through and actually goes. This is something that must be dealt with now, you are right to "nip it in the bud" as you said. Even if it doesn't work out with ... (read in full...)
How do I explain how I love my boyfriend?
Q. I know this sounds stupid but I don't know how to explain that I love my boyfriend! he has like a hard time feeling loved cuz his mom killed herself and he's just always felt like she didn't care so now he just has a hard time feeling someone ...
A. 27 July 2009: I agree with you that love is something that is beyond words. However if your boyfriend is uncertain of your feelings, and needs reassurance from you, a good way would be to think of it from his perspective. I'm sure he just wants to know that there ... (read in full...)
Woman on top?
Q. I'm a BBW plus size woman. My man is tall but he's not heavy. The first time he asked me to get ontop during sex, we had a hard time trying to get his penis inside of me. He usually has a soft erection until he enters me and gets started so "we" ...
A. 27 July 2009: You could always try starting out however works best to get him nice and hard, then moving positions so that you can take over and be on top. Changing things up is always nice in the bedroom and can help keep the spark alive. I applaud your efforts, ... (read in full...)
He cheated, she's pregnant. Now what do I do?
Q. my boyfriend cheated on me back in april and now this chick is calling me telling me that she is pregnant with his baby. he dont want anything to do with her and she is only talking to me about the situation. what am i suppose to do about this? we ...
A. 24 July 2009: My advice is that 1) your boyfriend should be dealing with this woman, NOT you. It was his indiscretion, therefor it is HIS responsibility. 2)If he really doesn't think that this child is his, he needs to ask her for a DNA test. If the child isn't ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back, but she wants nothing to do with me after I said and did some really awful things.
Q. I said things to her that really hurt her feeling and broke her heart. Now she does not want to talk to me, does not want to reply to my emails, has even removed me as a friend from her facebook, and said please do not contact her. I feel really bad ...
A. 16 July 2009: I had this situation with my ex and he respected my request not to contact me. almost a year later we happened to run into each other and caught up and it was pretty nice. At that point we were able to talk and be friends.
unfortunately for me he n... (read in full...)
Should I really move on? Everyone is telling me I'm in denial.
Q. I'm so confused cuz I love a man who has been abusive with me and the last incident was yesterday when he tried grabbing me by my hair for trying to get out of his car. I broke this relationship off cuz I'm so tired of his bullshit and excuses on ...
A. 27 June 2009: Let me ask you this, if he ever did those things to your children what would you do? Would you allow it? Would you have him arrested? Would you allow him to continue to be a daily part of your life? I know it's hard because I've been abused myse... (read in full...)
I need a woman who wants me, not one who just needs me...
Q. I'm in my mid-forties and am feeling really down. My wife totally went off sex fifteen years ago when our children were born. She likes me to massage her feet or her arms, but that's it. She's quite honest with me about her dislike for sex, and at ...
A. 27 June 2009: I wish you the best of luck! It's difficult loving someone who's no longer passionate towards you and never shows affection. Whatever medications she is on, she may need to talk to a doc and make sure they are really working. There's a chance that ... (read in full...)
How do I convince him to stop using her?
Q. I have this problem, I like this really cool guy, he is really nice cool and sweet and he is my friend so I got to know him really well. Here is my problem he has a girlfriend. I don't mind that and all but I found and I saw and heard that he was ...
A. 22 June 2009: When a guy tells you to stay out of something, 99.9% of the time they mean it. If you are simply friends with him, great and you at least tried, but hey, it's his life and he has to make his own mistakes. Be his friend and let it go. If there's ... (read in full...)
I need a woman who wants me, not one who just needs me...
Q. I'm in my mid-forties and am feeling really down. My wife totally went off sex fifteen years ago when our children were born. She likes me to massage her feet or her arms, but that's it. She's quite honest with me about her dislike for sex, and at ...
A. 22 June 2009: For most women, we experience a huge hormonal shift in our lives that may in some cases go completely unnoticed. However in many cases it can cause mood swings, irritability, low libido or even complete loss of sex drive. For some women it can cause ... (read in full...)
At what point is sex expected?
Q. Lately I have come into contact with many people who believe that sex is expected after the 3rd date. Since, I have asked some of my friends and other people I know and 3 seems to be the magic number. In some cases, people said they would not have ...
A. 22 June 2009: Sex should never be 'expected' and anyone who thinks so...well I'm not sure they're someone I'd want to have sex with anyway. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we didn't have sex until we'd been hanging out/seeing each other for ... (read in full...)
Running out of time....
Q. Ok, I will try to make this as short as possible. I have been with my current boyfriend for about 8 years now. There was a period of time that we werent together and I was seeing another guy. This guy( who i will call romeo) was the perfect boyfrien...
A. 18 June 2009: I think you made your choice, and that was to go back to your ex. Now you've been away from Romeo for long enough he's probably still over you whether he's dating someone else or not. I don't know if he would be willing to give you another chance to ... (read in full...)
A dear cupid STD riddle, can someone solve it?
Q. This is a dearcupid riddle... Who's done it??? Girl A is long distance girlfriend of Man B, but Man B also has an affair with girl C. Man B has unprotected sexual relationships with Girl A and also with Girl C. Recently Man B has had sex...
A. 19 April 2008: my thoughts are this: someone in this triangle is lying about something. that's all there is to it.
Also, maybe A, B and C should all be using protection regardless of whom they end up having sex with. It would prevent this and other issue's from... (read in full...)
Can I trust her, even though she still see's her ex?
Q. My post is pretty long, but its a collection of things... If anyone would read through it and possibly give me some advice here... It would be great. I feel like I am falling apart, I cant eat, sleep, or think strait... I need some answers.. So, I se...
A. 18 April 2008: I don't think there is anything wrong with you or that you are doing anything wrong in the relationship. It sounds to me like you are doing everything you can to not only have a loving relationship and fill her wants and needs, but to give her ... (read in full...)
I'm 25, so why am I still single?
Q. Why am I still single? I'm a 25 year-old intelligent woman with a college education and a good job. I would say I'm above average in appearance, though slightly overweight, but I have lost weight recently and I'm getting many positive comments about ...
A. 13 April 2008: Honey, I'm 28 and still single with no children. Everything comes in time, and at the RIGHT time. Just enjoy life!
Before you know it you'll be a grandmother and miss these days right here that you have now.
The more you look for it, the more... (read in full...)
My ex has been telling people we had sex, which is not true. How to react to the rumours?
Q. my ex boyfriend has been telling people we had sex. its not true. what should i do? [Moderator's note. Respondents may treat your situation as common defamation until you can provide us with complementary details. Feel free to write en détail plea...
A. 9 April 2008: well, you can tell them your side of it. Or you can tell someone you know will get back to him with a rumor that will hurt his pride just as much as he's trying to hurt yours(such as "he's a horrible kisser, I would NEVER have sex with him" or ... (read in full...)
If you overstraighten your hair does it eventually lose its natural waviness? Assuring its healthiness throughout the process?
Q. Hey I've just got a simple hair question.I like my hair straight but I don't want to lose the natural waviness it has. So my question is, if you overstraigten it (or over the years as you keep straigtening it) does it lose its natural waviness? And ...
A. 9 April 2008: The only things that will change your hair are chemicals(dyes, perms, chemical straightening, etc) These are not permanant. However, over time, your hair can change in texture and color. Obviously some people go gray, others experience a change ... (read in full...)
Can HPV really be purged from the body? What are the chances that I'll contract it from my girlfriend?
Q. My girlfriend recently confessed that she was diagnosed with HPV about a year ago, but her doctor said that it was no longer in her system and that she was fine now. She's also just got the new HPV vaccination. Can HPV really be purged from the ...
A. 9 April 2008: If you are concerned about this issue I would research HPV on the internet, preferably someplace like WebMD.com HPV is a virus with over 120 different strains, about 12 or so of those strains they have found can be a cause of cervical cancer i... (read in full...)
I'm being blackmailed by the boys I had sex with...
Q. hi my names nikki and i have a problem with some boys in my school. i'm well known for being a slut at my school which im not proud of but i had sex two weeks ago with three boys from my school and another girl. i was told at the start of the week ...
A. 7 April 2008: IF you were recorded, and IF they do have a tape, and you were not aware of it until after the fact, you have the RIGHT to contact the authorities. If all parties do not agree to the release of a personal and private thing such as a pornographic ... (read in full...)
I need advice about skin care and how to remove blackheads.
Q. OK, i recently bought this new Benefit foundation, and its brilliant, but after several hours i just look shiny and awful - i really need to feel that i look good because of this guy i like and he's got great skin, so i always feel kind of ...
A. 7 April 2008: You can try Biore Pore Cleansing Strips for the blackheads, or a blackhead cleaning scrub like one from Clean N' Clear. Also, if you have oilier/shinier skin you will probably need a powder makeup to top off the foundation, or you will need to find ... (read in full...)
Caught between two cultures - other than break up with my intolerant BF, is there anything I can do?
Q. Hi, I'm not quite sure what to do. My boyfriend (for want of a better word at this point) constantly bashes Muslims to the point where it's ridiculous. He justifies his hatred by saying that all monotheism is "bull" because he chooses to follo...
A. 7 April 2008: In every religion on earth there are those that will give the church/mosque/etc a bad name. In the Islamic world it is the Jihadist terrorists, in Catholocism the sexually perverted preists, and so on and so forth. In the Pagan world there are those ... (read in full...)
Any tips on getting rid of unwanted hairs?
Q. This is kind of embarrassing, but, does anyone have any advice about what to do about small dark hairs at the corners of your mouth. As a female, it's not very attractive. I used to never have any, but now I do. Is electrolosis a good idea, or som...
A. 7 April 2008: Firstly, most men probably won't notice. If it bothers YOU, then go ahead and take care of them. Electrolosis can be expensive, it is however a permanant way to remove them and keep them from coming back. I have always either plucked(with twe... (read in full...)
Am I being 'over-jealous'?
Q. I think I am being very jealous. My boyfriend does sides jobs every now and then. This time it is at a store two women own. I only know what he tells me. And he told me they were ordering lunch today and he ordered something as well and th...
A. 7 April 2008: Personally I feel that in this situation he is being honest and forthcoming with you, so there really shouldn't be a problem. jealousy can be a nasty thing and can lead to alot of problems in relationships. Since your guy is being honest with you, ... (read in full...)
I have known him since high school...11 yrs now, should I tell him how I really feel or lose him to another??
Q. I need help... My best friend is a guy I have known since high school...11 years. We do everything together. I go to his family functions and he goes to mine. Years ago he told me that he never wanted to ruin our one of a kind friendship by trying ...
A. 7 April 2008: It sounds like this guy has everything he needs! A best friend, someone who will allow him to be lovey dovey and drunk, who will let him kiss on her while he is drunk, then play the fool and let him be a free man otherwise.
If it's killing ... (read in full...)
Is it unrealistic to even consider that we may/could make our marriage work NOW??
Q. I married in April of last year for the second time. My first marriage occurred when i was very young, wayyyy too young. It lasted less than a year and i view it as a mistake made due to my age and immaturity. This time, however, i really felt like...
A. 7 April 2008: This is tough. It sounds like your husband was starting to show some very disturbing behaviors, however if you really want to try and make it work, and in your heart you believe that it can, I would say make sure that he gets counciling before you ... (read in full...)
Why do men manipulate you into thinking that YOU are wrong - when they are the cheats?
Q. A few days ago, I decided to contact 'the other woman' to find out what type of relationship there was between her and my boyfriend. I suspected that my s/o was having a relationship outside of ours, and after finding evidence of cheating ...
A. 7 April 2008: I think this is a two way problem. I think that (some)men do this because they see that they can, because there are women who allow them to manipulate and work us over.
It takes alot to realize and learn that you are in control of yourself... (read in full...)
I really don't know if I lost my virginity or not, please advise me.
Q. I was hooking up with this guy a while back. We had agreed not to have sex because I'm still a virgin and want to stay that way, and he's never been with a virgin and doesn't want to be. He was rubbing his penis along the inside of my labia and he ...
A. 7 April 2008: The hymen can be broken by a the insertion of a super absorbancy tampon, serverly rigerious sports sometimes, as well as masturbation can sometimes deteriorate the hymen.
A virgin is someone who has not had sexual intercourse, meaning the full... (read in full...)
Does this guy want to be more than just friends?
Q. Last Saturday we hung out for like 7 1/2 hours (watched movies, ate pizza, talked, etc), last night for 6 hours (watched a movie, talked, did stuff on the Internet). Then the day before yesterday when I said something to him and really overreacted ...
A. 7 April 2008: Maybe he's not sure about how he feels quite yet and he's a bit insecure. I say, if you enjoy the time you guys have spent together, go ahead and keep talking and spending time together. If it's going to happen it will, and it will happen naturally! ... (read in full...)
I'm terrified of going back into something with a guy who just doesn't love me enough.
Q. How often does a guy call if he's really interested in getting back together? My ex told me he wants to try again - that he thinks he's matured and things could be different. I told him I needed to take things slow and have some time to think about ...
A. 6 April 2008: I don't believe there is any set rule about this.
When it comes to love and in your situation I would say whatever feels right. If you think he is calling and keeping in touch with you to your satisfaction then that's fantastic. If not, maybe you ... (read in full...)
How long after sex do I wait to take a pregnancy test?
Q. hi i was wondering how long should i wait after having sex 2 take a pregnancy test for it to work properly? i mean...im afraid i might be pregnant but i dont know if i take a pregnancy test now if its gonna work..i haven't got my period yet, gett...
A. 6 April 2008: If you are generally regular with your cycle and having your period and you do not get your period, then it would be fine to take a test. If you absolutely cannot wait that one week, there are tests out there that you can take up to five days before ... (read in full...)
I've had a wierd experience after sex on the pill....is this common?
Q. I have A rather funny question.. since I've started the pill when me and my boyfriend have finished having sex, come just comes out of me but I think its his because the pill stops sperm getting past a mucus ( so I believe) and it didnt happen when ...
A. 6 April 2008: When using condoms the ejaculation from the male is contained and held within the condom, much easier to clean up, also preventing any(in 99% of cases and hopefully) from being left behind in the vagina.
When on the birth control pill, pregnanc... (read in full...)
Is it normal for female parts to swell when aroused?
Q. whenever i hve sex or when my boyfriend stimulates me, the lips of my vagina an clitorus kind of...swell Up soo to speak.. like really big tho is this normal or is there something wtong with me?...
A. 6 April 2008: When aroused, blood fills the genitals, male AND female. It is not abnormal.
Everyone's bodies are different, and while some other females may not experience quite as much swelling as you, it is not unheard of for it to be very noticabl... (read in full...)
How can I make her love me?
Q. how to make someone love you who does not have the same feelings with you. who tell you that she care a lot a lot as a friend but does not have other feelings. she also knows how much i love her....
A. 2 April 2008: you cannot MAKE someone love you. It's not a forced emotion. unfortunately we really can't help who we end up falling in love with, that's why its' called 'falling' in love. it's not purposefull, we don't 'make' it happen. It just does.
F... (read in full...)
I feel for her in a different way than others and just can't get her out of my head...
Q. I have a problem for which I really can't come up with a solution. Although I have a rather good dating life in general, there is a girl who I can't get off my mind. I had gone out with this girl during an experimental phase in my life (which I got ...
A. 1 April 2008: Ask her to for some time to talk, face to face. if you can't get it out, then write it down, edit it, do whatever you need to come up with the letter that expresses exactly what you feel and think and have her read it with you there.
Let her know... (read in full...)
He made me "do it" and I wasn't ready...
Q. dear cupids. I've got a real problem! I'm in a bad situation but I feel like I've caused it myself :S I have been *seeing* this guy, (a friend of my brother) who is aged 18, for 9 months, I am 15, 16 in May, and he is my *first love*, he's ...
A. 1 April 2008: I hate to tell you this, but this guy has disrespected you in every way! It makes me very angry for you at him. He as good as raped you. and in the boys toilet none the less?! What about this is okay to anyone decent?
Just because he didn't h... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants sex but I'm only 12!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months but his sister says he says he wants sex. The problem is i'm only 12! I just turned 12 this month and he's turning 13 in April we love each other so much that i don't know what to do, so i ...
A. 1 April 2008: Please please please listen to everything i have to say.
You are 12 years old.
if you can answer yes to all of the following questions, then it is fully your own decision, but know that your being on here questioning it is you giving yours... (read in full...)
My wife wants to close a 27 yr old wound she rec'd from her ex-husband!!
Q. My wife of 10 years has informed me that four days ago she made contact with her first husband. They were married for 12 days when they went to sleep in the same bed as his best friend. Sometime during the night she woke up and thought she was kiss...
A. 1 April 2008: I am sorry to report that often times when a woman wants to 'revisit' a past love to 'finalize' things and move on...it may mean she has questions as to if there is still any possability they could reconcile.
Not always, but often.
My best a... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has male friends, I suggested I get a female friend, now she doesn't trust me...
Q. My girlfriend has a number of male friends i have no problem with this as i trust her. I've suggested i get a female friend and she says no way. Now i feel she doesn't trust me. Advice please?...
A. 21 March 2008: It sounds like you might be trying to even the score a bit...if not, maybe you need to talk to her and find out why she said no way. Does she have a jealous streak? Is she insecure? What's the problem? Are you friends with the guys she is friends ... (read in full...)
What can I do to move on???
Q. My fiancee of 3 years broke up with me last october, and i cant get him off my mind. He broke up with me for someone else and is still with her. I know i should move on, but i cant!! Basically i suppose i am saying that i am still in love with ...
A. 21 March 2008: Best answer, take the time you need for yourself. I know it's hard, i've been there myself. It's different for everyone honestly, however I found that immersing myself in my friends and family helped alot. Also what kind of things did you do before ... (read in full...)
I began to date this great guy, but he recently lost someone, what should I do?
Q. Very recently began dating/seeing this guy I met through a friend. He's fantastic, however I need help keeping my mind off of him and not contacting him and giving him some space right now. He very recently lost someone very close to him and is ...
A. 21 March 2008: I'm pretty sure the only thing going on is that he's depressed about his family member dying. I haven't seen him since before the funeral, he's kinda been holing himself up at home and not wanting to go anywhere, see anyone or do anything. I guess ... (read in full...)
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