When/how is it appropriate to express interest in getting to know someone?
Q. Dear Cupid Aunts, The other day I checked out something at my university library which had not been checked out since 1978, and thus lacked a bar code. Since I could not use the self-checkout kiosk, I had to actually go and get a real person t...
A. 23 October 2013: (Most of the time I'm not "miserably lonely" and am pretty happy overall. It's just a mood that strikes from time to time that I find as interesting as it is intense. The experience of life, with all of its colorful desires, feelings, sensations, ... (read in full...)
When/how is it appropriate to express interest in getting to know someone?
Q. Dear Cupid Aunts, The other day I checked out something at my university library which had not been checked out since 1978, and thus lacked a bar code. Since I could not use the self-checkout kiosk, I had to actually go and get a real person t...
A. 23 October 2013: Thanks again for your advice, everyone. I asked her if she wanted to get coffee after we chatted in the library. She said sure, but that she needed to preface that by saying that she doesn't date. My response was that that was perfectly fine.
... (read in full...)
When/how is it appropriate to express interest in getting to know someone?
Q. Dear Cupid Aunts, The other day I checked out something at my university library which had not been checked out since 1978, and thus lacked a bar code. Since I could not use the self-checkout kiosk, I had to actually go and get a real person t...
A. 6 October 2013: Thank you for the words of encourage and advice, everyone. I do plan to invite her to talk over coffee or other beverage of her choice sometime.... (read in full...)
Is this a form of verbal abuse or am I being overeactive?
Q. So, I was discussing with my boyfriend how a woman got rescued from being kidnapped. I then proceeded to make a comment that one always needs to be aware of ones surroundings. My boyfriend turned to me and said "No one would kidnap you." I ...
A. 6 September 2013: Having been in a verbally abusive relationship myself, I also know what it can be like. The comment by your boyfriend as you described it does not in any way seem to be abusive. It was a careless joke that was very likely not intended to hurt ... (read in full...)
Was my relationship abusive?
Q. A couple years ago, I had a boyfriend who I was really attached to. He was nice to me at first but everything went bad relatively fast. When we became "official", lots of people warned me about him and told me that he was not a good guy but I ...
A. 3 September 2013: Yes, your relationship was abusive! You were treated terribly by a very selfish man. If you were pressured to do specific things at specific times that you did not want to do under threat of being dumped, then you were being abused. It is not ... (read in full...)
How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't work, contribute to bills, rent, groceries and he is destructive. How do I stay strong when I tell him to get out? I met him in January of 2012 and he my first impression was not to feel like he was a very nice person. ...
A. 3 September 2013: As someone who escaped an abusive relationship this summer, let me give you some advice: if at all possible, do _not_ break up with him when he is inside your apartment. I made that mistake myself, and she refused to leave. In fact, she blocked ... (read in full...)
She wants space, how should I approach this?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We both loved each other endlessly from almost the very beginning. For me, she is the love that I have searching for my whole life and from letters and notes from her I am her one and only. S...
A. 16 August 2013: Here is the perspective of a man who was recently in an abusive relationship. I made the mistake one time--one time out of our entire 16-month relationship--of not calling her all day until 10:30 PM because I had been busy at a work-related con... (read in full...)
My friend is trying to get pregnant on purpose. Her b/f doesn't have a clue..do I tell him?
Q. My friends from school (lets call them sarah and matt to make it easier) have been with eachother for 9 years and from what I can see, their relationship is on the rocks. ? sarah confided in me last night that she has stopped taking her ...
A. 30 July 2013: Don't forget to consider that there are the interests of possibly _three_ other people to consider in this situation. The well-being of a potential child brought into this rocky situation far outweighs the right to privacy of your friend Sarah. ... (read in full...)
How old were you when you kissed someone?
Q. just asking, how old where you when you kissed somebody or anybody?????...
A. 9 July 2013: 21... (read in full...)
Has anyone suffered anxiety attacks and over came them?
Q. Is there anybody that suffers with anxiety attacks and if so how did you over come them? I don't know why I started getting them although I think it could be related to a male friend of mine who keeps texting me and showing interest the las...
A. 8 July 2013: Before I say anything, let me make it clear that I am not a doctor, nor have I studied anxiety disorders in any great detail. If you are having severe anxiety attacks then you ought to visit a doctor. I say this because some people have conditions ... (read in full...)
Just left an abusive relationship; will love ever feel good?
Q. About 18 months ago, I was in a vulnerable place, struggling to recover from some severe depression and anxiety issues which had landed me in the hospital for a bit. I was lonely, and desperately wanted to know what love really felt like; I wanted ...
A. 4 July 2013: Thank you to all of you who provided advice and encouragement here. It is going to be a difficult road, and the lonely feelings are just now hitting me, and I realize that I need to stay alone for a while. I have a year of school left and ... (read in full...)
Just left an abusive relationship; will love ever feel good?
Q. About 18 months ago, I was in a vulnerable place, struggling to recover from some severe depression and anxiety issues which had landed me in the hospital for a bit. I was lonely, and desperately wanted to know what love really felt like; I wanted ...
A. 3 July 2013: Wiseowl: Thank you for your advice. I don't think I ever had any illusions that love would be all puppies and rainbows, and I think I have seen quite well the painful side of love. But surely there can be _some_ good times, _some_ sickly-sweet ... (read in full...)
Just left an abusive relationship; will love ever feel good?
Q. About 18 months ago, I was in a vulnerable place, struggling to recover from some severe depression and anxiety issues which had landed me in the hospital for a bit. I was lonely, and desperately wanted to know what love really felt like; I wanted ...
A. 2 July 2013: Thank you both for your responses. I think that a large part of what kept me with her so long was that I came to believe all the things she told me, and even in my most lucid moments (e.g., "I graduated from college at 18 with a perfect grade point ... (read in full...)
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