Are you genuinely happy being single? If so why?
Q. Are you single and stuck in your ways? It seems these days that most people only feel complete if they are in a relationship. I will admit I used to feel the same way. And went from one relationship to the other, quite quickly. I have been single n...
A. 3 October 2009: GIRL! I am EXACTLY this way! Found a great guy, but...I am stuck in my ways and really like going back to my own house and doing my own thing.
I used to be a serial monogamist. This guy wants to get married, and initially I did too. Now, I think ... (read in full...)
My online guy of a month wants to marry me! Is it really meant to be?
Q. OMG..I have a problem I'm so confused idk what to do..so here I go!! Ok I met this guy through the internet and we have been talking for a while now close to a month but we talk on the phone and txt and send pictures of eachother but you see he ...
A. 3 October 2009: you are a baby! been there, done that. it's not meant to be this quickly. SLOW DOWN! what's the rush? be careful and THINK w/ your head not your heart.
you can't love someone until you've met them, spent time w/ them -- considerable time, an... (read in full...)
Relationship going down the drain because of my depression
Q. Relationship going down the drain because of my depression. My partner just does not understand why i hate the thought of going to sleep and why i cant stand waking up to face another day. Why i cry myself to sleep every night. He says i should just ...
A. 1 October 2009: You may need to let him go because he is not helping in your recovery. Perhaps he is just too young to really understand the seriousness of what you are going through. Talk to your parents and get more intensive treatment.
But in the end, you... (read in full...)
Is it normal for attached guys to flirt with other women via email?
Q. I need a mans point of view please. My question is: Do guys write/email etc.. other girls in a flirting/even inappropraite way even when your in a relationship with another? Is it an ego thing? Do guys usually intend on something to happen or...
A. 1 October 2009: Mature guys (men NOT boys) do not do this. If you are involved w/ someone doing this, leave. It is disrespectful to you and will only get worse.
Good luck.
PS I'm a girl, but a bit older, so...... (read in full...)
Why do our b/f's insist that we swallow?
Q. I have been dating my b/f for 6 months now and we haven't had intercourse yet. I told him several times that I am saving myself for marriage and he calls me a priss all of the time. He claims I am sexually pent up. But I take care of his needs ...
A. 26 September 2009: Not all men are like this. BTW, you are dealing with a BOY. Clearly this doesn't make you feel good, so why do you do it? He's not the only one out there, honey, and you can find someone who will treat you with respect and not make you feel like ... (read in full...)
I lost my libido years ago!
Q. I have been married since 1997, have two girls age 10 and 8 and I have lost my libido for what seems like years. My husband has given up trying to have sex after being brushed off so many times. Anyone with advice or has the same problem? Please ...
A. 26 September 2009: Yes, I am going through the same thing. Are you depressed? Are you menopausal? Have you been checked by a gynecologist? Do you have any resentments toward your husband? If it's not physical, then it's psychological. Mine was and I got some ... (read in full...)
I can't stand that my husband is still the same after 11 years of marriage
Q. Hello, I am 29 years old and have been married for 11 years today. I have two boys 7 and 2. Today is my anniversary and I am miserable! Instead of celebrating I feel sad, like if I'm serving a life sentence. I can't stand my husband. I married ...
A. 26 September 2009: You need to pack your bags, take your kids and move in with your mother. You only have *2* kids, not THREE! If he won't grow up and man up, then you don't show up. Why are you putting yourself and your kids through this? Eleven years to figure ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about the text messages she's getting from this guy?
Q. Should I be concerned with flirtatious text messages that my wife gets from an old co-worker? My wife gets flirtatious text messages from someone she used to work with. This person left the company she is with about 12 months ago and they were fr...
A. 26 September 2009: This is wholly inappropriate and disrespectful to you! This behavior must stop NOW! There is NOTHING right about this. She's up texting another man in the middle of the night and hiding the computer screen? You try that and all your clothes ... (read in full...)
I get turned on when my g/f talks about her past sexual encounters
Q. I am 39 and my gf is 38 and I don't know if I am a freak or got some serious problems but I get turned on when my girlfriend tells me about her past sexual encounters. It is something that I have been dealing with for awhile and I just dont know ...
A. 26 September 2009: This is clearly a very new relationship. Perhaps you have voyeur fantasies and the idea of her being with other men feeds into that. However if she doesn't like doing this, I suggest you stop because this is going to push her away from you.
... (read in full...)
Is it common for a woman to go through a period of promiscuity/sexual experimentation?
Q. Is it common for a woman to go through a period of promiscuity/sexual experimentation in her young adult life. My girlfriend of six months told me she had been with 5 guys in six months her senior year of college. The last one she dated for 6 ye...
A. 26 September 2009: Honestly, I don't know why she would have told you this because this information leads to this kind of problem with a man.
Why is it important if it's normal or not? If you love her and want to be with her...does it really bother you that muc... (read in full...)
Is complete hardness a very important factor?
Q. Hello. Question for the ladies. I have a 7 3/4" penis with a 5 3/4" girth. My wife says it is by far the biggest she has been with. The question is: sometimes if we have sex too long or a lot of foreplay, it loses some of its erectness. It is st...
A. 26 September 2009: That really depends on your wife, as all women are different. For me, starting off very hard is what's required then you reach a bit of a crescendo. As the erectness wears off, it can be pleasurable to still have him inside you...What does your ... (read in full...)
Confrontation or denial?
Q. I'm very conflicted over the porn issue. I don't mind watching it together, but I don't like it when he looks at it on his own (how screwed up is that?). I very rarely look at it on my own (except when i'm looking to see what he's been looking ...
A. 26 September 2009: I am kind of in your boat, so I sympathize with how you are feeling. Mine offered to stop cold turkey because it made me unhappy. And I didn't even suggest he stop! He was willing to talk about it and THAT is what made the difference. He ... (read in full...)
Why does he need to text other women?
Q. I have been married to my Hubby for 5 years, I met him when he was married but he left his wife, before the relationship became sexual.. He is everything a women could want and we have the best time and life together, we have now Bern blessed with a ...
A. 23 September 2009: I have to agree with every single word k_c100 typed. He did it with you, so he'll do it to you. If he won't go to counseling, you either live like this until he leaves you, or leave now.
Good luck.... (read in full...)
Ladies: What is the 'decent size penis?
Q. One for the ladies, i know most of you will say size doesn't really matter it's the way you rock the boat, but what do ladies think is "the decent size penis" ...
A. 22 September 2009: *sigh* why are men obsessed over this? too big is no good at all. but you can work w/ something smaller than average (i.e. less than 5"). if you have good skills, your penis size doesn't matter.... (read in full...)
I'm married but my ex boyfriend who claims he loves me keeps cancelling our dates! Why?
Q. i have a complicated story, well my boyfriend and i broke up years ago cause i found out that he cheated on me and got some girl pregnant. i finished the relationship as soon as i found out. He tried to convince me that that it was not his baby but ...
A. 22 September 2009: you need to stay away from ex-bf and try to make your marriage work so your baby can have an intact family.
if this is impossible, stay away from both of these men and focus on raising your baby to be healthy and happy. take a break from relation... (read in full...)
I'm confused! We haven't had a real conversation for a week.
Q. okay..so my borfriendd is the type that needs to talk to me every single day..and more then once. He always makes sure we communicate one way or another..and he always makes it a point to tell me he loves me everyday. this past week, he was away on ...
A. 22 September 2009: this is odd behavior. you have to get him alone when he can talk to you face to face and get him to 'fess up. he has to stop wasting your time. if he wants out, he should be man enough to say it. good luck.... (read in full...)
He's amazing but registers on dating sites. How do I get through this?
Q. i've been with this guy for over ayear. he totally shows me that he loves me and my kids. i'm totally inlove with him and would marry him. but he recisters on dating sites. that sems to me like he looking for something better. he says its nothing ...
A. 22 September 2009: your instincts are correct. he is looking for something better. when you love someone and are into them, committed to them, you don't register on dating sites and actively look for other women. that is absurd.
do yourself and your kids a favor ... (read in full...)
How do I give this new guy a chance? I might still be in love with my ex.
Q. I've been seeing this guy for a month now and i really do care about him. But at the same time I just got out of an relationship not to long ago and I feel as though im not giving this new guy my all because of how my ex treated me. He cheated on ...
A. 22 September 2009: you need to give yourself a dating/relationship break. you are still smarting from the past and need time to heal. if you fall into a relationship w/ this man it won't last because you are still raw from the pain of what happened w/ your ex and ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend of 3 years about my one-night-stand?
Q. I've just started university and last week was my freshers week. One night I really had too much to drink and ended up leaving the place I was in to go to a guys house and had unprotected sex. Only thing is, I'm in a relationship. I've been with my ...
A. 21 September 2009: You have a moral obligation to tell him because you are putting him at risk with his heart and his health.
#1 he can't trust you
#2 what if you contracted an STD?
Yes, new people are exciting, but this is a character issue. If he did th... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose him but should we go on break for a month?
Q. Hi there, My boyfriend and I have been together very nearly 3 years. We went through a very bad patch, involving heavy arguments, often about petty things, but sometimes about my paranoid thoughts regarding him and other women. I'd often get ve...
A. 21 September 2009: You should let this go and work on your insecurities. This isn't going to work and you are wasting each other's time. You are young and have your entire life ahead of you. Get to know YOU and work on yourself because no man is going to stay with ... (read in full...)
Will anyone want me with this virus?
Q. Hi, I am an 18 year old girl who has recently been diagnosed with genital herpes. I have only ever had sex once. This occured when I was very drunk,and even though I didn't want to, I was persueded otherwise. I now feel as though I will never be ...
A. 21 September 2009: You are a young woman with your entire life ahead of you. I know that everything now seems gloom and doom and you feel 'dirty.' But, you are not. You will live a long, healthy, happy life and find a man who will love you. The longer you live and ... (read in full...)
My vagina hurts after sex
Q. I've been in my relationship for three years and my boyfriend is great! When we started having sex (two weeks into our relationship) it was good! There were no problems at all. For about a year now, everytime we have sex my vagina hurts after it...
A. 26 February 2009: I am experiencing this, but I am having lubrication issues. The cause could be vaginismus - becuase we are anticipating pain, the vagina opening is contracting and making penetration more difficult if not impossible. http://www.vaginismus.com... (read in full...)
It was so painful but I want to try it again
Q. Ok, so my boyfriend wanted us to try anal sex. We tried it once before but he didn't go all the way in. Well this time he did and I wasn't at all relaxed.. ummm really tight. It hurt and I made him stop. I want to try it again because I've don...
A. 25 February 2009: I would suggest buying a silicone real life sized penis and use that on yourself w/ lots of lube. Since you've done it before and you enjoy it, you can get yourself 'used to it' again by practicing on yourself by yourself.
When you are having a... (read in full...)
Has anyone any experience with an older boyfriend?
Q. Is there anyone out there who has had experience with older boyfriend? I am seriously struggling to cope with his ways which he won't comprimise... Thanks...
A. 24 February 2009: BFs don't have to be older to not want to compromise. It depends on what the issue is. Without more information, I can't really offer an opinion. ... (read in full...)
She demands so much of my time...
Q. I am a 32 year old male. Have been in relationship with a woman for 15 months now. It is going well on many fronts, but some we have had problems. I have problems with erections, althoguh it seems psychological. We are working on this, and she is ...
A. 24 February 2009: I, too, am a loner and am in a relationship in which I only see my partner once a week, if we're lucky, because of our jobs and we don't live close to each other. For me, since I am a loner by nature, the time you spend with your GF seems reasona... (read in full...)
Why are so many men afraid of commitment?
Q. Why do men (and women too I guess) fear settling down with one person?...
A. 24 February 2009: Quiet Kisses is correct on all counts. I am afraid of commitment because I like my life the way it is, I like living alone & I'm selfish in a lot of ways. I also have a fear of feeling trapped & making a mistake. It's irrational because commitment ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your partner and his relatives did something against your own values?
Q. If a few of your partner's close relatives were casual pot smokers, who held down jobs and were otherwise responsible, loving people, would you feel comfortable letting your kids visit these relatives, if you are morally opposed to any casual drug ...
A. 24 February 2009: I really appreciate the replies. I posted because I asked what YOUR opinions were, irrelevant to mine - that's how the question was posed. It's called feedback. Thanks, I do appreciate the time you all spent addressing the question. ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your partner and his relatives did something against your own values?
Q. If a few of your partner's close relatives were casual pot smokers, who held down jobs and were otherwise responsible, loving people, would you feel comfortable letting your kids visit these relatives, if you are morally opposed to any casual drug ...
A. 24 February 2009: It is striking to me the contortions people put themselves into to justify illegal activity whether it's done in moderation or not. It's illegal. If it were a gun, I'm sure I'd have VERY different answers because guns = bad, although they are legal. ... (read in full...)
He's always flirting with other women
Q. My boyfriend seems to constantly be flirting other women, in particular with one of his very close friends (who is a girl and has a boyfriend). I also think he may have dated her a few years ago (though I have never asked him about it). The other ...
A. 24 February 2009: I think you should go with your gut; typically it isn't wrong. If YOU feel his comments and texts are inappropriate and you don't like them, he should honor that and STOP. But, that leaves the underlying problem - why he doesn't see this as ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't make time to hang out with me, what can I do?
Q. I've been dating this girl for 10 months. She was real closed up. I have broken down that wall a little. I still can't get her to spend much time with me. Lately it seem that her wall has come back up. I might see her twice a week. She is ...
A. 23 February 2009: It also seem that she is asking from me what she is not willing to give in return.
THAT is the key to your entire problem. She's not even attempting to give back what she gets from you. She is emotionally immature (take it from someone in her 30s ... (read in full...)
Why am I turned off by boyfriend's attention (or lack thereof) to my breasts?
Q. When my BF and I started dating, we talked a lot about sex, what we liked, what we didn't ,etc. I made it clear how much I liked my breasts to be touched, etc and he happily complied (or so I thought). Although he says he's not a Breast Man, but he ...
A. 16 February 2009: Clarification: He accused me of making 'the breast' issue a bigger deal than it is, not that I make an issue out of everything. (PROOFREAD, GIRL!)... (read in full...)
Why am I turned off by boyfriend's attention (or lack thereof) to my breasts?
Q. When my BF and I started dating, we talked a lot about sex, what we liked, what we didn't ,etc. I made it clear how much I liked my breasts to be touched, etc and he happily complied (or so I thought). Although he says he's not a Breast Man, but he ...
A. 16 February 2009: Anonymous, I can't thank you enough for addressing my question the first time and sincerely appreciate anything else you can come up with. I feel EXACTLY the way you wrote: "Your turned off because he's rejecting something about you, and making you ... (read in full...)
Why am I turned off by boyfriend's attention (or lack thereof) to my breasts?
Q. When my BF and I started dating, we talked a lot about sex, what we liked, what we didn't ,etc. I made it clear how much I liked my breasts to be touched, etc and he happily complied (or so I thought). Although he says he's not a Breast Man, but he ...
A. 16 February 2009: Thank you ALL for such insightful, honest answers. I think every one of you hit the nail on the head with the way I'm feeling expressed it much better than I did. Your perspectives have given me much to consider.
I sincerely appreciate his effo... (read in full...)
Can two people can have such a special connection and continue to stay in touch and see each other every few months without hurting their marriages?
Q. Is it ever true that two people can have such a special connection and continue to stay in touch and see each other every few months without hurting their marriages? Or is that a fantasy? ...
A. 12 February 2009: No, you are cheating and this isn't fair to your spouses. It's morally wrong and you wouldn't appreciate it if your husband/wife did it to you. Have enough character to fish or cut bait, as they say. ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my bf to keep his Playboy mags out of my sight?
Q. I sincerely appreciate the response of men to this topic. However, I am always discouraged because it ultimately ends with the conclusion 'it's normal' and/or guys will become addicted no matter what. I really want men to GET what porn CAN say to ...
A. 12 February 2009: Anonymous & Tomas, you have really helped me tremendously and I am grateful to you - and to everyone who answered my question.
I think *I* finally understand why the Playboys irritate me. One day we were talking about where we liked to be touched ... (read in full...)
Is it unreasonable to ask my bf to keep his Playboy mags out of my sight?
Q. I sincerely appreciate the response of men to this topic. However, I am always discouraged because it ultimately ends with the conclusion 'it's normal' and/or guys will become addicted no matter what. I really want men to GET what porn CAN say to ...
A. 12 February 2009: Tomas, thank you for your very detailed & profound answer. I sincerely appreciate it. It was very well-thought out and has given me incredible food for thought.
I have no hang ups about my sexuality or his & have viewed more porn than he probably... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? I don't want to stay at my BF's when he might have pot around!
Q. I've been dating a really great guy for several months now. He says he has no issues with me and enjoys spending time together. I do too, but recently at dinner we had a more in depth discussion about something I made very clear from the outset -- ...
A. 12 February 2009: Thank you so much for your reply! The really ironic part is my BF's holier than thou beliefs about other things & he misses the points you brought up about the terrible things that happen to people who process & transport drugs. AND his convoluted ... (read in full...)
Can you become ill from giving a woman oral sex?
Q. Can you become ill from giving a woman oral sex? i'm not talking about STD's, just curious cause i'm a bit of a hygiene freak so to speak....
A. 12 February 2009: Unless she has a yeast infection, I think you should be okay. But you can always use a dental dam or plastic wrap. It'll be pleasurable for her and you will be less freaked out about germs, etc. ... (read in full...)
How do I reignite the spark in my relationship?
Q. I have a question, how do I reignite the spark in my relationship? I've been with my man for 3 and a half years, we're living together the last few months and thats been good i guess. I'm feeling really weird. I love him to bits, and he's absolutely ...
A. 12 February 2009: I feel for you because I was/am going through the same thing. I've been w/ my chap for 5 months this weekend and I have been feeling disconnected.
He treats me like gold, so all the issues are mine. I've been reading some very good relation... (read in full...)
We're dating but both still have profiles on dating sites?
Q. Ok, so my bf and I met on an online dating site. The thing is we both still have the profiles up! He brought it up a few times and said, "I'm thinking about deleting the profile." But he never did. I know that he's logging on every day. I haven't...
A. 12 February 2009: UGH! Went through this exact same thing. We are all adults. If you are someone's BF/GF that means you don't go on dating sites and you don't have a profile up, logging in to see who's looking at you because you shouldn't care. I told my BF if he... (read in full...)
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