Current friendship has taken a turn for the worst and I feel I am being ignored. What should I do?
Q. Okay! I need some help from you guys regarding a current friendship which is kinda heading south. I have been really good friends with a guy I know for about 2 and a half years, I will refer to him as K. ...
A. 8 August 2014: It sounds like your friend K has a lot of things going on right now in his life. You suggested that he might have depression and, although you may be right, his behaviour might be indicative of other types of mental health diagnoses. I'm not a ... (read in full...)
Not enough attention from long-distance girlfriend. What to do?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend and will see her in 15 days. After 6 months we'll have to be long distance for 3 months again. This time, we're long distance for 1 month. I'm having an issue because it doesn't seem li...
A. 8 August 2014: Long-distance relationships are definitely difficult, so I think it's natural that you're feeling down because you're so far away from the person that you care about. It can be especially difficult when you feel like the other person isn't making as ... (read in full...)
Affectionate guy, says he's "not a big texter" but 6 weeks of silence while he travels is driving me insane!
Q. Hey everyone, A couple of weeks ago now, a guy with whom I have a lot of mutual friends, whom I'd never met in the flesh but had heard great things about, and I, went on a date. After a couple of flirty Facebook posts, he'd asked me out a month p...
A. 8 August 2014: I think that if you want to contact him, that you should do so As you say, not contacting him is going against something that's a core part of who you are and, if you think that this relationship has the potential to be a long-term one, showing ... (read in full...)
He's a super nice guy but I'm worried that he's gay
Q. I just started seeing this guy I met online. He is so incredibly nice, sweet and wants the same things I do. However, I worry that he may be gay and just in the closet. He's the first guy I've ever met who hasn't had his hands all over me or t...
A. 8 August 2014: It sounds like you're pretty early in this relationship, so I think your best bet is to give it some time. Find out a bit more about him and while it may be a bit awkward asking him whether he has had sex, at some point, if the relationship ... (read in full...)
Is it good sex that leads to these feelings I have?
Q. Hi dear agony aunts, I am bisexual and got single one year ago. I decided not to get serious again until I know myself and have had some fun and experience. I started this affair with this guy. And we both agreed that we never want to make this ...
A. 3 May 2011: Emotions can be a funny thing, in that, when you feel something, the general tendency is to find a logical reason for why you feel it. Because you're feeling an attachment and bond with this guy, your natural instinct is to find a reason for why you ... (read in full...)
Is it good sex that leads to these feelings I have?
Q. Hi dear agony aunts, I am bisexual and got single one year ago. I decided not to get serious again until I know myself and have had some fun and experience. I started this affair with this guy. And we both agreed that we never want to make this ...
A. 1 May 2011: It's the sex that's leading to these feelings.
Sex causes the release of lots of different chemicals in our bodies. Some of these chemicals (like oxytocin) can create feelings of attachment.
You might feel like you're falling for him, but it'... (read in full...)
Am I wrong? Or can it be as black and white as this?
Q. I've been thinking about this for a while and I think I finally have my answer. Tell me if you think I'm wrong. (or right? LOL) If a man knows that his porn viewing is hurting his girl, and he continues to do it, doesn't that mean he doesn't ...
A. 1 May 2011: Love and compromise are not the same thing.
For some people, love means a willingness to change some small parts of themselves (and in some extreme situations, many large parts of themselves) for the happiness of the other person.
For others, l... (read in full...)
How do you respond to "tell me more about yourself"
Q. Hi guys i was on a dating website and Girls have this auto reply message that always comes back with " send me a message, and tell me more about yourself" like what am i supposed to write? is there any ways to get her attention in the first m...
A. 25 March 2011: As someone who used to use a lot of dating websites, I have to second chigirl's suggestions. If you want to stand out, you need to use proper grammar and punctuation. When communicating through text, you need to show that you have some kind o... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want sex to get in the way of our relationship!
Q. Please he doesn't want to have sex w/ me anymore. I am about a size 14-16 and work out frequently, keep my hair and nails done and legs shaved, lol! He is good to me but since we became engaged he avoids any situation that might turn sexual. I have ...
A. 25 March 2011: As others have already said, he's leaving something out. This is almost certainly an issue with him and not an issue with you. You sound like an attractive, intelligent woman and you should not get down on yourself for the lack of sex in the relat... (read in full...)
How do I get him to chose ME not HER?
Q. the guy i am seein right now has a girl and there relationship according to him has no future that is why he started a new one with me we been together a bit over a month but now i am in too deep and i do not want to fall any deeper so fast what do ...
A. 25 March 2011: Tell him how you feel about him. Tell him that you're afraid of getting hurt and that you would like him to end things with the other girl because you want to be his one and only. If he does end it, then you know he is serious about being mono... (read in full...)
After every fight he calls his ex! Is he not over her?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. We have baby, but whenever I argue with my husband he always start calling his ex. Then it takes time before I notice. When I confront him he say they are just friends and it was out of frustration. Could it be he ...
A. 25 March 2011: It's rarely a good sign when someone keeps that kind of contact with her ex. There are those rare occasions when exes can maintain a strictly platonic relationship with a good sense of separation, but more often than not, they slip into old ... (read in full...)
We broke up and he hasn't even tried to get me back. I need closure!
Q. I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago and I am finding it really difficult.We were in a LDR but he hardly ever got in contact which really hurt me. We'd been together 2 years and he wasn't really treating me like a girlfriend, i always came ...
A. 25 March 2011: You do not have control over whether or not another person wants to talk to you, all you can do is figure out what you're going to do with you.
Because you can't talk to him, try writing him a letter (with pen and paper) of all the things t... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I'm too young for a relationship!
Q. I am 21 and my girlfriend is 25, she thinks that I am too young for a relationship. We get along great and the sexual activity is excellent. HELP!...
A. 25 March 2011: I'm somewhat confused. If she's your girlfriend then she's in a relationship with you but you seem to be implying that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you. Can you clarify? Does she want to break up with you? Do you want things to b... (read in full...)
I'm trying so hard to change myself and do everything she's asked, but I feel like it's not good enough. What should I do?
Q. So I've dated this girl P for 5 years. We dated for 3 years, got engaged 2 years ago and had planned our wedding. We did have some problems mostly my family and P didn't get along. In addition we did have some personality conflicts (I'm stubborn and ...
A. 17 February 2011: Well, it seems that you know a lot about what she wants, but you've said very little about what you want. And I doubt that all you want in life is her, because you've talked about giving up your family, friends and other things in your life as ... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 6 January 2011: Starmonster, very interesting theory that, I think, captures much of why divorce happens in our society. The fact that there is an official way out means that people will opt to take it. It's why the divorce rate in the Catholic countries like the ... (read in full...)
Why he didn't call me back after spending a great time together?
Q. I'm a very attractive girl and I've been texting with this guy for a while. last week we went out and had a great time together. I know he liked me. We kissed, hugged but when he drove me home I didn't invite him in. After kissing inside the car I ...
A. 27 December 2010: I second Cerberus' suggestion. The thing that's important here is not why he hasn't asked you out yet but that you like him and want to see him again and if you want to see him again, you need to call him. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend calls me a manwhore!
Q. So my girl and I have been together for a couple years and we used to be really happy but things lately last 4 months or so havent been all that great. She makes me feel bad about myself. Since I've had some history with women before dating her, she ...
A. 27 December 2010: To add to what's been said, I think you may want to ask yourself what about a girl who "treats you like crap" makes you love her. Loving those who treat you badly can be a sign of some deeper issues.... (read in full...)
Should I break the silence?
Q. Hi I was upset with my bf since he cancelled our date to go out with his friends, hence i didnt call him for the past 2 days. I didnt call him/text him. He didnt call me either. He was the one who ignored me to be with his friends, he didnt ap...
A. 27 December 2010: I think you need to call him and tell him that you have an issue with what he did. The mature thing to do when the person you're in a relationship with does something that you don't like is to tell them upfront that you didn't like it.
If yo... (read in full...)
Why do I think loving someone is weak?
Q. I'm really torn within myself. I'm confused. I have the desire to be with a woman, to give myself to her completely. I have cravings for a good, loving partner. But for some reason I hate myself for it. I feel that if somehow I fulfill my desire for ...
A. 27 December 2010: I like to believe that there is always hope. If you choose to try and deal with this part of your life, there a number of ways that you can proceed.
The first would be to try and deal with the symptoms as though they were the issue. You could tr... (read in full...)
Why do I think loving someone is weak?
Q. I'm really torn within myself. I'm confused. I have the desire to be with a woman, to give myself to her completely. I have cravings for a good, loving partner. But for some reason I hate myself for it. I feel that if somehow I fulfill my desire for ...
A. 24 December 2010: Messages like "love equals weakness" are acquired through experience. My first reaction is to wonder whether you learnt this message from your parents. Some fathers, especially of the older generation, like to send the message that a "real" man is ... (read in full...)
Why do men TRY to be misleading?
Q. Why do guys insist on doing purposely sweet things knowing it’s forced and insincere, knowing you already don’t buy it, but just to con you, do it anyways. God , if I’m trying to see the relationship for the whatever the heck it really is, I’m ...
A. 24 December 2010: Some men lie, just like some women lie. Some men are misleading, just like some women are misleading.
It's not something that every guy does and thinking it is just makes it easy to be angry and bitter. ... (read in full...)
I don't love him, but should I stay with him because he is safe?
Q. im 22 i have a 2 year old with a man i dont love, we were together a year when i fell pregnant, I was stupid 19 year old thinkin "it wont happen to me" although i cant say i regret it as i love her so much! But about a month after havin my daughter ...
A. 24 December 2010: My belief is that people can become used to things that may not be healthy for them. In this situation, I think you've gotten used to being with abusive men to the point where a more normal man, like the father of your child, becomes boring and even ... (read in full...)
A blog post convinced me that I'm being used
Q. I've been seeing a guy and we were together about 4 months, split up for about 2 but kept in contact and are now sort of back together. altogether we've known each other for about 7 months and I haven't slept with him though he has asked me and he ...
A. 23 December 2010: You've already broken up with him once because you didn't want to be with him and now you're not sure if you should be with him. With that being the case, I think you should just look at this hesitation as a warning and move on.... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and in love with my 26 year old teacher!
Q. How do I approach this man before I graduate high school? I'm 16 and in love with my 26 year old teacher. I know you've all heard this before but im serious. I know what I want and that's a man. The boys at my school are way too immature and the...
A. 2 December 2010: If he inspires you then it may be enough to just tell him that. He evidently means a lot to you and it evidently means a lot for you to be able to tell him about that, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you need to tell him that you love him. ... (read in full...)
Can you catch chlamydia or HIV if you have sex with another person who has never had sex before?
Q. I thought I'd combine two into one so here goes my first worrie is really a question. Can you catch chlamydia or HIV if you have sex with another person who has never had sex before? stupidly I did it unprotected when i was very young and this ...
A. 30 November 2010: You can only catch diseases from carriers of a disease. If you had sex with someone who was a virgin, then it's unlikely that you could catch a sexually transmitted disease from them as sexual intercourse is the main way HIV and chlamydia are ... (read in full...)
I pressured him into leaving his wife for me and now I havent heard from him in 2 weeks!
Q. i just broken up with my ex bf for 5yrs.then i met a man who made me happy.im at first we met on friendster and said he was single.he lied..he is married. We are madly in love with each other.he told me that he will divorce his wife. I pressured him ...
A. 29 November 2010: A relationship founded on false pretense - meaning deception at a fundamental level - usually is very difficult to maintain. His saying that he was single when he was married is not a good sign because if he he was serious about leaving his wife, he ... (read in full...)
Is there anything else we can use for protection that I wont be allergic to?
Q. hi ok ive been thinking about my first time a lot lately, my boyfriend is very patient and said whenever im ready its ok with him.. now one of the reasons i havnt is because im allergic to medicine specially cortizones and steroids, is there ...
A. 29 November 2010: If you have a history of allergies, then your best bet is to talk to a doctor about what your options are for medical forms of contraception. You may even want to talk to an immunologist (someone who specializes in allergies) because they may be ... (read in full...)
There's always someone out there who is better looking, more intelligent, etc.
Q. I feel very inadequate. My boyfriend is attracted to another girl. She's more intelligent than me, more beautiful (her face is better looking than mine), more physically fit, and more socially skilled. I don't know what to do about it. I'm ...
A. 27 November 2010: The idea that there is always someone better and that you should "upgrade" when that better person comes along is one that I feel strongly about and have much to say about but I will do my best to keep my comments short.
The first thing is, a re... (read in full...)
Is it rare for people to want unconditional love?
Q. Is it better to be honest with one's partner or to withhold the truth about something that you know might lead them to reconsdider being in the relationship? I see so many people advocate for dishonesty in relationships, and I don't understand it. ...
A. 14 November 2010: I personally the issue of honesty as one that walks the line between how things should be and how things are.
In a perfect world, full honesty would exist in all relationships and we'd be able to accept everything about the pasts of our partners... (read in full...)
I bought her a house and proposed, she's still not happy!
Q. i been i a relationship with my girlfriend for close to 6 years. and no matter what i do she does not seem to be happy. i bought a house for her and her kids to live in. ive asked her to marry me. but she is still un happy. she doe not help me with ...
A. 14 November 2010: It is not your job to make her happy. Happiness is something each person builds for themselves.
If she can't have constructive conversations to resolve conflicts that the two of you might have, then a long-term relationship is going to be hard to ... (read in full...)
What does mirroring facial expressions mean?
Q. I like a certain guy and he likes me in a certain way too. Earlier he used to have those serious looks whenever we met. But nowadays, he is quite sweet and charming with a hidden smile in the corner of his lips when he is not smiling. Oth...
A. 13 November 2010: This is something that most people don't even notice, so you can pat yourself on the back for being very observant.
Mirroring of facial movements and body language is something that happens unconsciously over time as rapport or connection is built... (read in full...)
I love her so much, but she loves someone else...what should I do?
Q. i had a girl as my lab mate at school. 5 years passed thereafter. and i didn't see her, but during that time i was feeling for her strongly. this august i joined a organization. on the very fist day i saw her and chatted with her and exchange cell ...
A. 13 November 2010: I think you need to take a step back and critically look at how you're dealing with this situation. I'll be honest with you, I've been where you are. I've been in the situation where I felt like I had to have "that girl" or else I would go crazy. I ... (read in full...)
Would a satisfied lady cheat?
Q. simple quistion for the ladys would a loved and a sexualy satisfied women cheat in her husband/spouse ? and if the answer was yes what would be the most common causes ...
A. 13 November 2010: In my opinion, cheating is a decision and, therefore, can be made almost at any time. I do not believe that if a person is satisfied with their relationship, they will not cheat because temptation always exists, it's a matter of whether or not you ... (read in full...)
Does manipulation give a sense of empowerment?
Q. Okay, well. Today I was on IM chat (MSN) with my girlfriend. I had just got back from work and had only spoken to her once, for 2-3 minutes, that WHOLE day. On IM, I was laughing and sharing demotivational pictures and enjoying myself whi...
A. 13 November 2010: Her expecting you to mind read is a sign of immaturity. I've dated women who've expected that I mind read and I've dated women who haven't and both my personal experience and the psychological research that I've read on the topic say that if a girl ... (read in full...)
Sex - what do women prefer? And why do some women like to swallow when others dont?
Q. [Mod Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged into one] Here is a question that I always wanted answered by someone other than my wife.....Why do some girls like to swallow seamen and some don't? What do most woman prefer, oral sex...
A. 10 November 2010: From my own experiences:
Women who have swallowed have told me that they do it either because I like it when they do or because they simply like the taste or the feeling that they get from doing it.
I've not heard too many women loving ana... (read in full...)
I feel more like roomates with my wife, I desperately want to feel wanted but she is so cold and it has led to me starting an affair....
Q. I have been married for 21 years. My wife is a wonderful person. Kind. Caring. Hardworking. A great mother. She is a well paid nurse. I do well running my own business. We have two teenage children that are doing great in every measure. ...
A. 10 November 2010: This is an extremely difficult situation and I really feel for you. Wanting someone and not having that desire return can make you feel like you don't exist and it's not an easy feeling to deal with.
You're right when you said that the process ... (read in full...)
Why do some women wish they were taller?
Q. The question is easy: why do some women wish they were taller? This is the reason most women wear high heels for example. I'm just wondering why, is it to scare off predators or do they just think taller women are more attractive? Is i...
A. 10 November 2010: Well, you're asking two questions there. The first is about women wanting to be taller and the second is about women wanting to wear heels.
To answer the first, the taller you are, the more dominant or powerful you seem. It's especially importan... (read in full...)
Why are younger women attracted to older men?
Q. I am posting this to ask for opinions more so than answers. It is my hope that the opinions expressed by people in reply to this can help me to answer my question - myself. What I would like to get your opinions on is this Why do you think tha...
A. 10 November 2010: Attraction is a complicated process and isn't necessarily something that you can describe in terms of "things a person has that others will be attracted to." It's something that develops through communication and interpretations of that ... (read in full...)
My Friend won't hang out with me now that she has a boyfriend!
Q. So one of my closest friends who I am now roommates with is dating this new guy. Before he came along, we would always hang out and spend time talking, and I have always been there to support her on her career and she's done the same for me. Now she ...
A. 10 November 2010: Personally, I think this is pretty normal. When most people enter into a new relationship, they go through a fairly intense honeymoon phase where they are intensely focused on the relationship and don't do much else. In a few weeks, her infatuation ... (read in full...)
Should I be bothered by what she does?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts, I know a girl who I am friends with. I have always had a crush on her but she made it clear she would just like to be friends. She does a couple things which make me feel lousy and I wonder if I should feel this way. 1) She...
A. 8 November 2010: I don't think it's pettiness that's the issue here. You're expecting her to treat you like she would a boyfriend, but you're not her boyfriend. In fact, from the way she treats you, you're not even a close friend.
For 1, she doesn't tell you beca... (read in full...)
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