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... Send *hilosophyzer a private message | | | *hilosophyzer's profile:I'm just a lame college student with a little bit of time to pass and I figured perhaps I could put it to good use. I'm currently single and playing the dating game. So, I'm seeing it all... I have a sensible head on my shoulders and would love to help people where I can. I am always open to messages. Don't be shy! :]
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I like bigger women and am having trouble dealing with it.
Q. I have a thing for bigger women and i dont know how to deal with it. While Im not into the deal of larger women getting larger or "gaining" and not into the feeding thing, i definitely have an appreciation for plus-sized women, and am unsure if my ...
A. 14 December 2010: If he is being polite and nice, then I think he is a nice guy and I'm usually flattered. I go based on his demeanor and body language. There are plenty of fat guys who just want to get laid, too, lol. ... (read in full...)
I like bigger women and am having trouble dealing with it.
Q. I have a thing for bigger women and i dont know how to deal with it. While Im not into the deal of larger women getting larger or "gaining" and not into the feeding thing, i definitely have an appreciation for plus-sized women, and am unsure if my ...
A. 9 December 2010: There is nothing, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, wrong with liking larger women and, believe it or not, you are not alone. Unfortunately, our media and society portrays being plus size as a curse, but it can actually be a pretty hot and sexy thing. You aren't ... (read in full...)
Do women like to catch a glimpse of a man's penis or balls?
Q. Do women like it when men wear shortish kind of shorts and maybe you catch a glimpse of what he is packing here or there (san undies, of course). I love it when I happen to catch a glimpse up a woman's skirt, or into her shorts, or down her top to ...
A. 21 October 2010: Well, here is a woman who actually LOVES the sight of a naked man. In the right circumstances, I love seeing a bulge in my boyfriend's pants or shorts. I also love seeing all of him. However, I WOULD NOT enjoy seeing a glimpse of a stranger's junk. ... (read in full...)
Fixed on feet and lost about sex. Help!
Q. I'm a 25 year old male from the UK. I have a sexual fixation with female feet, Unfortunately I judge women on their feet and am usually easily put off if they arn't nice. This being the only body part that really turns me on has led to problems over ...
A. 11 October 2010: Ah, okay. I get ya. Look, just take it slow and try not to worry so much. Attitude can be everything. Try to be as optimistic as possible and just take things slow. I'm sure it will work out! SERIOUSLY! I wish you the best! Feel free to keep ... (read in full...)
Fixed on feet and lost about sex. Help!
Q. I'm a 25 year old male from the UK. I have a sexual fixation with female feet, Unfortunately I judge women on their feet and am usually easily put off if they arn't nice. This being the only body part that really turns me on has led to problems over ...
A. 10 October 2010: No worries still! Honestly, I feel that sex and sexual technique are sort of a natural skill. After some practice, you begin to just learn and magically know what to do next. Everyone feels nervous and as if they aren't sure what to do. That's ... (read in full...)
Fixed on feet and lost about sex. Help!
Q. I'm a 25 year old male from the UK. I have a sexual fixation with female feet, Unfortunately I judge women on their feet and am usually easily put off if they arn't nice. This being the only body part that really turns me on has led to problems over ...
A. 6 October 2010: Ha, you aren't homosexual or A-sexual! You have a foot fetish! No worries! You aren't alone, my friend. ;-)
I think you are just so nervous of a woman feeling strange or uncomfortable about your sexual fetish that you postpone intimacy and inad... (read in full...)
We are trying to move past the second affair. Should I stay or should I go now?
Q. I have been with my husband for 9 years, I cheated on him about 7 years ago and he found out. I never came clean but he is pretty sure that something happened. We have been married now for 6 years and for the past 2 years we have had a rocky ...
A. 6 October 2010: Completely agree with JMC!
Why are you staying? You don't seem to feel sorry or even as if you truly love your husband. If you truly wanted this to work, you should have been honest about affair number one. However, you weren't. You think he knows... (read in full...)
Is he just trying to break it off in a nice way? or is he legit?
Q. I recently ran into an old classmate on a social networking website. We exchanged text messages multiple times a day and even spoke for hours at a time on the phone. We made plans to get together, being that we live an hour and a half away from one ...
A. 4 October 2010: I think he likes you, but he is feeling maybe shameful of his lust for you, because of his religious views. Reassure him you can go slow and build up a lasting relationship. Go to church with him, but request some alone time to talk. I think he is ... (read in full...)
My dad had an affair and now I hate him!
Q. my dad cheated on my mum and they separated. now hes still with the girl but i hate her. i only met her once and i didnt know they were going out then. now he keeps trying to get my 10 year old sister to go out with them all because he knows shes ...
A. 29 September 2010: I'm so sorry to hear this, girly. This is a difficult situation and it will eventually improve. Don't worry.
Firstly, your feelings of anger and hatred are completely legitimate. He disrespected your Mother by cheating and broke the bonds of your ... (read in full...)
I want someone that I have a deeper connection with.
Q. I have been in this relationship for almost 2 years. And we have been living together for almost 1 1/2 years. He is a great guy; loyal, caring, trusting, respectful, same values, kind, and I know he would make a good husband and father. He will ...
A. 29 September 2010: There is a reason why novels and movies are called fiction! Those are idealized versions of how human life is lived and how we interact with one another. This isn't always reality. However, butterflies and sparks are out there. Sometimes they simmer ... (read in full...)
Do I actually like him or do I just think I do?
Q. How do you know when you genuinely like someone? I have been friends with someone for years, and we have gone on dates and fooled around with each other, but we were pretty much always just friends. Since he moved away to join the army I keep thin...
A. 29 September 2010: I agree with Fordy. Some people just need a slight push or catalyst to uncover their true feelings. The thought of saying goodbye to this guy has you reflecting on your relationship with him. If you didn't have some sort of feelings, you wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
I am giving him a deadline. By next fall, he needs to be in a school or have a good steady job, or I am not going to be with him.
Q. I'm having a few problems with my boyfriend of 3 years. First off, he is not in college and doesn't have a job. He graduated high school last year, but he never even applied to a school until after. He does not have a job either. He goes around ...
A. 29 September 2010: This is completely reasonable! TELL HIM OF THIS DEADLINE. He needs to hear it! He will be miserable in the future without a career or education, most likely! Stress that you only are posing this because you deeply care for him and want him to be ... (read in full...)
When we were together he seemed interested.. but now is not making an effort to talk to me.
Q. I met a guy at a college party and he ended up giving me a ride home.. turns out we lived really close so he invited me to his place before taking me home and we ended up watching a movie. He slowly did the whole putting his arm around me and was ...
A. 29 September 2010: Chill out. I think he likes you, but don't smother him. Be mysterious and let him come to you from time to time. If you're being way too persistent, available, and giving, it can come off as if you are desperate or have nothing better to do, even if ... (read in full...)
How can I get my girlfriend to shave?
Q. Ok first question on here......lol My GF has a hairy vulva...and id prefer her to be shaven/waxed , How can i encourage her trim up? [Mod note: changed 'vagina' to 'vulva' for accuracy]...
A. 29 September 2010: Always praise the positive first. Tell her how hot she already is. Compliment what you love about her netherlands (lol). Then, maybe drop an innocent hint, "God, I wonder what you'd look like shaven... Mmm, I'd love that..." Don't give her time to ... (read in full...)
He has to choose... the parents, or me!!!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years, and we really love each other, but his parents have suddenly decided i'm not welcome at their house anymore and they really hate me. I thought all along that they didn't like me cos they think i'm ...
A. 29 September 2010: Maybe you need to ask why they don't like you and if there is anything you might have done to disrespect his parents. No, they can't force him to dump you, but they can surely influence him and that is something you cannot avoid. These are, indeed, ... (read in full...)
This isn't just another pupil/teacher crush!
Q. I'll start from the beginning. I'm 16 years old and completely in love with my 33 year old teacher. I know what you're all thinking. "Oh it's just a crush you silly girl!" and it's not, trust me, it's really not. I've experienced crushes and this ...
A. 29 September 2010: He isn't flirting with you. He is just looking at you, wondering if you are paying attention or understanding the material. He'd lose his job and everything he has worked for in life. There will be no future in this. Sounds harsh, but that's ... (read in full...)
Our open marriage has become a disaster
Q. This is complicated; you've been warned! My husband and I have always idealized, even before we were together, a committed relationship that does not involve monogamy. While I always thought it sounded great, I had doubts about how many people ...
A. 1 September 2010: This is no time for "should have, could have, would have", patronizing lectures, or "Hey, I told you so!". Though I don't agree with these alternative style relationships, I see why some people find them appealing. Maybe your decision to enter into ... (read in full...)
I'm Okay with my girl sleeping with another man, am I crazy for this?
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now, we are both in college (i am 20 she is 19) we hit it off from the start and have known eachother for about a year and a half. Dated all school year, basically lived with eachother, slept ...
A. 31 August 2010: Lots of couples experience sexually open relationships. This isn't an insanely "out there" idea. However, there are some things to consider.
Primal human beings were, indeed, promiscuous, extremely sexual, and very open about such relation... (read in full...)
Why don't girls have sex as much as guys?
Q. I would like to ask a question at a general/stereotypical level - Why don't girls have sex as much as guys? Eg. a single guy goes to a party/club/bar and hopes something will happen. A single girl goes to the same place and doesn't let anyt...
A. 31 August 2010: Sex drives and sexual desire differ on an individual level. I know girls and guys alike who are very promiscuous and have lots of sex. I also know guys and girl alike who are at least twenty and have only had sex a handful of times with only one or ... (read in full...)
When should I start panicking?
Q. So, I just started having sex with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (He's the first person, I've had sex with...I was a virgin) and I started birth control three months ago (I've been on them in the past to regulate my period). I've had unprotected ...
A. 31 August 2010: Glad to hear the good news, girl! And so glad to help! :)... (read in full...)
Does the 600 calorie diet work?
Q. hey, was just wnddering whether i would lose weight if i went on a 600 cal diet? I mean eat 1000, burn 400? then once a week eat 2000 for a break? how much weight would i lose and how fast? i want to lose around 3 and a half stone overall, tyxx...
A. 25 August 2010: 600 calories is extremely unhealthy, love! The average, healthy woman consumes roughly 2000 a day. Eating only 600 calories will be very rough on your body. You shouldn't be concerned with losing lots of pounds very quickly, but rather with shedding ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not doing a very good job at staying in contact!
Q. My boyfriend isn't doing a very good job of keeping in touch with me besides texting after he went to college. How should I let him know we need to try something better?...
A. 23 August 2010: You need to call him or try to arrange a visit with him. You need to tell him that you are feeling that you two are losing contact and you miss him.
However, he has moved to college and is probably very busy. Also, the move to college often re... (read in full...)
Porn makes me physically sick, how can I tell my b/f?
Q. Hey well iv never watched porn before but my boyfriend wanted me to try it cause he thinks i would like it. When i watched it it made me throw up i was grossed out by it. Should i tell him i watched and it made me throw up? Is that normal to have ...
A. 23 August 2010: I don't think that your reaction is exactly normal. Vomiting at the sight of porn is a bit of a violent reaction, no? However, it is not uncommon to not like porn or have a feeling of disgust or guilt upon watching it. Some people just hate porn. ... (read in full...)
Did he mean it, or was he just being polite, what do you think?
Q. I went on a first date today...it went pretty well, lasted about 5 hours, and there were a few opportunities for him to cut it shorter if he had wanted to. We ended the date with drinks at a bar a block from my apartment and it started pouring on ...
A. 23 August 2010: It was only five hours ago, girl! Give him some time to go home and think about the date. If he really wanted to leave and not see you again, he wouldn't had let the date last so long and he surely would not have walked you home! If you don't hear ... (read in full...)
When should I start panicking?
Q. So, I just started having sex with my boyfriend about 3 weeks ago (He's the first person, I've had sex with...I was a virgin) and I started birth control three months ago (I've been on them in the past to regulate my period). I've had unprotected ...
A. 23 August 2010: I also am on birth control and it is not uncommon for me to have delayed periods. Also, some months my period might be a little more painful or heavy than the last. It's pretty common. I also often get back pain during my cycles. So, I honestly ... (read in full...)
He denies that he's cheating. But I have proof!
Q. So, I asked a question yesterday about my LDR relationship. I'm afraid that my LDR boyfriend is cheating, quite openly too! He has tons of friends that are girls, I will admit that I was jealous at first, but I got over it. It never really bothered ...
A. 15 August 2010: He is a rotten liar. End of story. Dump that scrub! You can do so much better! ... (read in full...)
Love my wife so much but no desire in intimacy
Q. I have no more sex desire with my wife for the last 6 years, we have been married for almost 9 years with no children.Naturally my wife doesn't has a hot curvy body.Our intimacy only lasted for 2 years. I do have an affair outside recently, she ha...
A. 15 August 2010: Do you really grasp the fact that you are INCREDIBLY lucky to have a woman that takes you back after having cheated on her? Oh, and I assume that the cheating hasn't stopped, has it? Shame on you.
The woman you love is still there, even if she i... (read in full...)
Husband loves me but never touches me?
Q. Would you believe your husband ,that he still loves you,if he is never touching you,or looking at you nice' ,like before? He does have ED, with no medical causes,as he was checked by his doctor very well. WE are married 22 years now. I heard some ...
A. 15 August 2010: He might be embarrassed, possibly. If he was diagnosed with ED and there seems to be no definitive reason, maybe he has given up hope. Shower him with love and kisses. Maybe he wants to see that you still have the hots for him. Open the door to ... (read in full...)
Ambivalence
Q. Dear cupid, I'm quite confused and ambivalent right now regarding the relationship with my girlfriend, and I would like some advice. I met her back in 2006. Before that, she used to live in a different city but her parents asked her to move so...
A. 15 August 2010: Well, I don't think it is very noble or nice to deny someone of a major life goal, such as having child. I would say that she would probably find that selfish. However, if that is what she truly wants and you never foresee yourself bending on the ... (read in full...)
Virgin at 24
Q. I am going to be 24 in a month, and I am still a virgin. I'm starting to worry that guys will be put off by it. My friends told me just not tell a guy that that I am, but I think he'll find out when he finds out I've only been in one brief ...
A. 9 August 2010: Oh gosh, darlin'. Where do I begin?
Firstly, read your last paragraph a few times. Yes, do it. Read it. Here is your problem. If you think you are some dog with nothing to offer people, then you are surrendering to the schmucks on the streets ... (read in full...)
Sex for the very first time
Q. i am going to have sex for the first time tomorrow but am scared that his penis will not fit in me :S hellp please? what should i do ? ...
A. 9 August 2010: If you have to ask, you are not ready. I say you wait awhile until you find someone truly worthy, dear.
But, if you insist, be safe and use condoms. You might even consider the pill. If an accident happens (condom breaks, etc.), get a Plan B m... (read in full...)
Ambivalence
Q. Dear cupid, I'm quite confused and ambivalent right now regarding the relationship with my girlfriend, and I would like some advice. I met her back in 2006. Before that, she used to live in a different city but her parents asked her to move so...
A. 9 August 2010: I'm going to be blunt. You don't sound like you are in love with this girl at all. Instead of raving about a woman you are completely enamored with, you are doing a cost-benefit analysis as to whether you should keep her around or not.
You m... (read in full...)
Does this "it" that so many of these guys seem to be talking about really exist?
Q. I’m feeling ready to give up on on-line dating as I’m finding the whole experience an emotional rollercoaster. After I split from my ex-boyfriend just before Christmas, I decided to give on-line dating a go for the first time using the most p...
A. 8 August 2010: First, I'm very sorry you have been plagued with such bad luck, dear! It can be very disheartening to have this rejection and upset happen time and time again. Have faith! There is someone out there! Trust me. But, before I express my deepe... (read in full...)
I've fallen for my online BFF, should I tell her?
Q. So I met this girl online and she doesn't live to terribly far from me, a few hours. We've been talking for literally about a year and a half. I really like her, and I get the feeling she feels the same. However, she is a really good friend, one of ...
A. 8 August 2010: I'm thinking she might like you. Test the waters and ask her what happens once you two start attending the same university. Will you just be best buds, hitting the latest parties? Or is she going to let you take her out and pamper her like she ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my teacher and I think he loves me as well!
Q. I am 15 years old and i am in love with my English teacher and i am certain he is into me. When i first meet him i thought he was a weird guy but as i got to now him i flirted. 1:on my birthday he got jealous when another guy said his birthday...
A. 24 July 2010: I think he is just being nice to you and you are reading into his actions way too much. He tells boys talking in class to pay attention because that is his job as a teacher. He probably didn't get jealous about the boy saying it was also his ... (read in full...)
He stopped molesting me, but is he about to do it again?
Q. ok, im going to try be to the point here. im 17yrs old now and from the age of 12 to about 4months ago, i have been sexually molested by my moms boyfriend (lets call him joe). so joe has stopped abusing me now, but a few nights ago i was working on ...
A. 24 July 2010: Tell your mom, NOW. If not your mother, tell an adult of some sort. I think he might be trying to gain your trust and love to just victimize you more. Tell an adult. Get help. Something! You don't deserve this. ... (read in full...)
Could he be bi or gay?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and when I was using his computer I found his extremely extensive collection of porn. It is mostly quite graphic images of men receiving rough anal sex - both from women who have strap-ons and from ...
A. 12 July 2010: He might be neither. He might just be curious about receiving anal sex. I've known a few straight men who are very interested in it. Regardless, porn is fantasy, not reality. He might just find it stimulating and interesting. It doesn't make him ... (read in full...)
What do you find is the best way to make sex really romantic, passionate and emotional?
Q. I'm just really curious about people's experiences. I've heard loads of ways that sex has been really orgasmic and physically pleasureable for people, but I'm curious about the passion and romance of it. What made you feel the connection the most ...
A. 6 July 2010: To me, the typical rose petals on the bed and Kenny G on the sax "romance" is far too cheesy. It feels too planned and thought out. I've always preferred when sex is very spontaneous. It feels so much more in the moment and alive. In those moments, ... (read in full...)
I can not squirt!
Q. Hi! My problem is no matter how hard I try I can not "squirt". I have been trying for 3 months now, practising, and trying, and doing it diffrent ways. I always use the bathroom before masterbating, and when I do masterbate while messageing my ...
A. 6 July 2010: It's always been my understanding that not not all women can. I never have, lol, but I enjoy sex and such just the same!... (read in full...)
I don't have feelings for him, but don't want to hurt him again!
Q. Dear Cupid, A few years back in high school, I really hurt one of my friends that /really/ liked me. He had asked me to Junior prom (I had a boyfriend at the time) and things happened, and he ended up being hurt and humiliated (not publicly...
A. 1 July 2010: You need to have an adult conversation with him, face to face, and tell him your complete feelings, or lack thereof. He might be upset at first, but he will later appreciate the fact that you didn't lead him on and hurt him even more. ... (read in full...)
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