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I'm a young woman, living in Canada.
I've been through a lot in life, illness with myself and family, horrible relationships, basically the same issues that we all find ourselves facing at some point in our lives.
I came across this site looking for some answers, and found the help and support I needed, and found that I also had some advice that I could share with others too.
Anything else, you just need to ask:) |
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Her family situation has made her push me away. I'm heartbroken!
Q. Alright, it's somewhat of a long story here so bear with me. Before I begin, my last ex cheated on me with a buddy of mine in my own bed, at which point I was in the living room during the party and heard everything. She walked out of my room, ...
A. 25 January 2011: When I read your post, I get a very different take on things.
I get feeling lonely, and confused and hurt, but she went and slept with you knowing that she had a boyfriend.
From your original post and follow-up, it sounds like she purpose... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of karen's influence without being the "you can't see her" guy...?
Q. Hey everyone, I recently met a wonderful woman about two months ago. We clicked from the very start finishing each others quotes, love the same music and movies, sports teams etc. etc. My family has met her and my mom is head over heels for her. I ...
A. 29 August 2010: From reading your post and your update...I say that you need to be serious and not contact her. She's seen that she can treat you badly and you will still put up with it.
I think that for now you need to show her that you are serious. You soun... (read in full...)
I need some tips on loosing weight!
Q. I'm very uncomfortable with my body, my bf however loves it. He says he loves the curves. But, I'd like to find a good medium...lose some weight and get fitter w/o losing some curves :) So I thought ok, let me lose 20 pounds. I've done research but ...
A. 24 August 2010: Exercise, exercise, exercise and portion control.
You need to do Cardio and weights in order to really see any difference. Muscle burns 3 times as many calories. Also, if you lose a lot of weight, there are issues with skin being lose. M... (read in full...)
Do men like when a woman takes charge?
Q. hi im looking for some advice, im seeing this great guy,hes 3yrs older,we avnt been able 2 see each much wit work n stuff,do men like if you take charge n just say im calling over,or does he like to be in control,i dont want 2 play it cool because ...
A. 24 August 2010: Some men don't mind if you do take charge, bu those guys are usually older. They've been around enough not to worry about the games anymore.
However, just from my own recent dating experience, you may want to hint that you are interest... (read in full...)
My man is super hot, but has no confidence in the bedroom
Q. Hey guys. Ill get straight to it. Ive been dating this gorgeous guy for a year now, he treats me like an angel and is smart and funny.. only thing is, he has NO confidence in the bedroom! Wat can i do to make him feel more cmfortable? Im thinking he ...
A. 18 August 2010: Great, keep us posted :) Most of all, Enjoy yourself!... (read in full...)
My man is super hot, but has no confidence in the bedroom
Q. Hey guys. Ill get straight to it. Ive been dating this gorgeous guy for a year now, he treats me like an angel and is smart and funny.. only thing is, he has NO confidence in the bedroom! Wat can i do to make him feel more cmfortable? Im thinking he ...
A. 18 August 2010: Cerberus definitely has a point there about just going for it....that will definitely be hot for both of you.
When I say take it slow, that is a good way of building the sexual tension until it just gets to the point where he forgets everythi... (read in full...)
My man is super hot, but has no confidence in the bedroom
Q. Hey guys. Ill get straight to it. Ive been dating this gorgeous guy for a year now, he treats me like an angel and is smart and funny.. only thing is, he has NO confidence in the bedroom! Wat can i do to make him feel more cmfortable? Im thinking he ...
A. 18 August 2010: This is a tricky one because if you bring it up it will make him feel even more uncomfortable.
I've come across this one or two times, and sometimes it boils down to bad experiences in the past and trust.
You need to create no pressure situ... (read in full...)
My kids were rude to my ex. Did I do the right thing?
Q. My girlfriend and I have broken up and gotten back together many times in the last 2 and a half years. When we have broken up sometimes I would vent my frustration to my adult children, not in a vicious way but just trying to get some answers ...
A. 14 August 2010: Here's the thing....the risk you take when you talk to your family and friends about your troubled relationships is that when things are going well, they still only remember the bad.
It's human nature and it can't be helped. Obviously you have... (read in full...)
Boyfriend thinks my breasts are too big, is he right to ask for a reduction?
Q. I'm going out with my boyfriend 10 months and everything going well except for in the bedroom. He prefers women with smaller breasts and I've become very conscious that my 32f breasts must be a turn off to him. I used to love having my breasts ...
A. 11 August 2010: Hi there,
I had a breast reduction when I was 20, and my breast were the same size as yours.
I had a breast reduction because I was unable to do things that I wanted to when it came to sports, etc. Ultimately the decision was my own.
... (read in full...)
I am concerned that I am choosing to marry someone out of guilt and poor self confidence
Q. I am concerned that I am choosing to marry someone out of guilt and poor self confidence. I recently got engaged after I dated her for three years long distance. She is almost 40 living on on the other side of the country with her parents in a ...
A. 25 March 2010: It sounds to me that you know that this is not a relationship that you really want to be in and that you are looking for some validation to do what you know is right.
I don't think anyone should ever stay in any kind of relationship out of guilt... (read in full...)
Help me! I don't know what to do any more...
Q. I have a friend who I will call Holly in this post. Holly and I have known each other for about seven years now. Holly is married to my husband's brother. Before I even met my husband seven years ago (I was a senior in high school), I had a ...
A. 15 February 2010: There is very little that you can do. You are in a tough position because the minute you confront her or say anything, you automatically become the bad guy. And, rest be assured she will tell everyone she can how petty YOU are and how you think ... (read in full...)
Glutton for punishment
Q. I have had an intimate relationship with an older guy for 3 years, mind you, he has a girlfriend. I kept thinking he would break up with her and be with me. Last week he told me he was getting married, that he wanted to stop seeing me, I said my ...
A. 19 January 2010: WALK AWAY!
This guy does not respect you or his soon to be wife!
You weren't good enough to date, or to marry, but he wants to take you to a sex clud?!?
If you go, if you continue to have contact with him, he is going to continue to use... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he's really changed?
Q. Can you tell some beforehand signs of a player? There's this guy, he has cheated on his last two gfs but is going to counseling and doing a bunch of other things to at least try and change. He likes me and sometimes i dont like him but 80% of the ...
A. 19 January 2010: Go with your gut.
Sometimes ppl change, but when ppl show you who they really are, believe them.
I think regardless, it would be best to wait until his counseling is done. If he's still going, he still has issues, and you don't need to be... (read in full...)
I wanna lose weight! Any tips?
Q. can someone help me understand how many calories I might have to eat a day to lose weight.. I am 27 yrs old I weigh approx. 205lbs and am 5'7 , I did the bmr math thing but it doesn't seem to be rite.. im hoping to lose 2lbs a week if possible. ...
A. 19 January 2010: I have been through the whole weight loss challenge myself, and managed to lose 80 lbs. Exercise is probably one of the best ways of making you feel better, and it definitely helped me. The endorphins help fight depression and the exercise will ... (read in full...)
Should I text him first on Thursday???
Q. Hey me and my ex boyfriend have been over for about a month. We were realy good friends before we dated so when it was over we both wanted to be friends still. He broke up with me before but we got back together 2 weeks later. Now its over again. ...
A. 6 January 2010: Him texting you may mean that he wants to get back together, and it may not. Ppl often get nostalgic for what they know and what is comfortable. I have no doubt he is missing you, especially as you guys were friends first.
He's asking you if y... (read in full...)
How do I figure out which employee to cut?
Q. The company I work for needs to down size my office by one position. Since I'm the manager it's up to me to figure out which position can be eliminated and create a strategy for re-directing the work load to the other 4 workers. There are two ...
A. 18 December 2009: I can tell you that if you end up keeping the one who doesn't pull her weight, you are going to feel the resentment of the rest of the employees.
I get that maybe being a single mom may be a factor as she needs the money, however I can guarante... (read in full...)
Do I have to change the way I act when he's over?
Q. (Sorry, not a relationship question!) My mother's friend are the epitome of proper-ness. One in particular looks down on everything. For example, rock music. His two nine-year-old sons play in the same youth orchestra (I'm 17, btw) as me. At r...
A. 15 December 2009: The way I look at it is that he is overstepping his bounds here. Yes, he is an adult, and therefore you owe him respect, and it seems to me that you have done nothing to suggest otherwise.
However, he is not your father. He has no say in how y... (read in full...)
My sister sent him naked photos, how do I get over this and him?
Q. A year ago my bf lied about being home one evening. Something told me he was lying I went to his apartment stood in the middle of it and called him. I asked what we was doing he said cleaning his apartment. Needless to say I got back with him. I ...
A. 14 December 2009: I think you are looking at this the wrong way. The guy is scum, and he should not be calling you. If you take him back you will have set the bar for how he can treat you. If he knows he can get away with starting something with your sister, he ... (read in full...)
He stood me up - how should I act next time I see him?
Q. I was introduced to a guy 6 weeks ago by mutual friends who said he'd been asking them to set us up for ages but warned me he was really busy with work and may not be free that often (that had been the reason his last girlfiend dumped him). From ...
A. 14 December 2009: I think your instincts are right on this one. Why bother with someone who can't even take time to text you back. His lack of consistency must be frustrating, and to me a little suspicious. I have dated guys who were incredibly busy with their ... (read in full...)
How do I get over my baby's dad?
Q. My question is how do I get over my baby's dad? we only dated for 2 months i got pregnant on the second month. For reason i had to move back to my old state where i then had my daughter and we have been talking over the phone for about a year now...
A. 10 December 2009: First and foremost, what is he doing to help you with your child? Is he supporting you in anyway?
Second, the minute you were gone, he was with someone else. Meanwhile, you have been alone and taking care of the baby.
I think this is so... (read in full...)
I laughed at the wrong moment, now my family are grumpy with me
Q. My family is mad at my fiance and I for laughing at a really inappropriate time and I just want to know if people on here think that they are over-reacting or if we really were being that bad. This might be hard to understand but I'll explain it ...
A. 5 December 2009: Ok, having read the scenario that lead to your Aunt's injuries, the mental image does bring to mind a cartoon.
I don't know if that would have made me laugh, but whatever.
I for your Aunt the situation was maybe a little too fresh for he... (read in full...)
My girlfirend admitted to cheating and I don't know what to do.
Q. My girlfriend Cheated on me and i seeing the circumstances I don't know if I should take her back. We are both in love and have talked about getting married and had some details planned out. we talked about our kids and how we would want to raise th...
A. 5 December 2009: From what you described, it sounds like your girlfriend was raped, not that she cheated.
How do you know that something wasn't put in her drink? Even if she was simply drunk, it doesn't sound like she was given a real choice in whether or not t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend uses me for money
Q. [Moderator note: Age posted is incorrect] im 16 me and my bf have been pretty much been together for 2 years. we've had sex, quite alot and i fear that he will soon get tired of our relationship. we broke up earlier this year and he told me over ...
A. 4 December 2009: I think you already know the answer to this.
You need to stop seeing him. He takes your money and disrespects you. Why are you willing to put up with that?
What do you think your mom would say if she found out that the money that she i... (read in full...)
He wants the benifits of marriage without the piece of paper
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, I'm a woman of 35 and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. I have never lived with anyone but he has been married before (amicable breakup though, a long time ago). He wants us to sell our properties and live togethe...
A. 3 December 2009: I think that you are definitely right to stick to your guns on this one. You can even tell him that studies show that ppl who live together before marriage are more likely to break up. I don't know if giving him an ultimatum is necessarily ... (read in full...)
His girlfriends says I have to stop texting him
Q. So I have this guy friend who I'm pretty close with and we always find ourselves texting each other hours at a time. The problem is his girlfriend texted me last week not asking me but telling me that I'm not allowed to text him... at all. Is s...
A. 3 December 2009: This girl is playing for keeps! She was smart enough to come straight to you rather than ask him to choose. She knows that if she speaks to him about it, she will come across as desperate/needy/controlling. That isn't to say that she is ... (read in full...)
Everybody hates me and nobody likes me
Q. i am 17 years old. My 32yo sister won't have anything to do with me because i am "f***cked in the head, a s**t, a wh*re, embarrassing, stupid.. the list goes on. She has never met my 3 month old daughter as she told me to abort it or she would ne...
A. 2 December 2009: Obviously you are never going to get them to treat you any differently. From the sounds of it, your mother created an environment whereby it was ok for you siblings to treat you and talk to you any way they pleased without consequence.
So, t... (read in full...)
He wants me to sleep over but we have never dated!
Q. A friend recently introduced me to a man (57 yrs. old). He invited me for dinner at his house along with my friend. He is a gentleman. The problem or what I see as a problem is that he keeps asking me over to cook dinner for me and then wants me to ...
A. 2 December 2009: I think that I would probably be a bit uncomfortable with this situation myself.
However, you need to go with your gut. Whether his intentions are noble or not, you need to feel comfortable before you agree to anything like that.
If you ... (read in full...)
I don't believe pretty women with breasts make good wives!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, There's a song that goes "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife.." Homely women aren't as sought after and they're not as likely to cheat on a husband or boyfriend. It so...
A. 2 December 2009: Wow! What a question!
Would you like it if someone made judgments about your character based solely on your looks, something over which you have no control?
A woman's looks and the size of her breasts have absolutely no bearing as to wh... (read in full...)
What to do about his bad boy behaviour...im having his baby...
Q. My boyfriend/father of my unborn baby is a big pothead. I get so mad because he constantly smokes around me. He stays drunk Thursday - Monday. He has no job but is in college 2 days a week. When he is by himself he doesn't smoke weed as much as when ...
A. 30 November 2009: Show him that you are serious, and leave him. And don't get back together with him until he can prove to you that he has got his act together.
Your baby is your first priority now. He or she doesn't have the option to get away from the situ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to see a lawyer? He left me 2 weeks ago without any money!
Q. my husband walked out 2 weeks ago. we were just fighting everyday. we have been married 11 years but together 20 years. i love him and want him home but he wont even talk to me. he came by last week to get his stuff and told me he loves me,hugged ...
A. 30 November 2009: It is definitely not too soon to get a lawyer.
I don't think you owe him anything at this point. He obviously isn't too concerned about your welfare.
You need to get a tally of your assets ASAP; especially since he seems to be spending m... (read in full...)
How can this be rape when I'm of legal age? His grandmother says she's going to call the cops!
Q. I'm 17. I keep getting caught having sex with my boyfriend by his grandparents. He's 19. Yes he lives with his gparents they need help around the house. His grandmother said tht if we have sex then thts rape. How can this be rape when I'm at a legal ...
A. 30 November 2009: I think maybe his grandmother doesn't approve of you guys having sex, especially in her house. I know my grandmother would have taken a shot gun to me and any guy that she caught me with.
I understand that maybe there aren't any other places w... (read in full...)
How do I tell her that I don't want her to always be the dominant one?
Q. My girlfriend and I have sex often, however she is the more dominate one I think she believes that she should be the only one who touches or gives pleasure,however I am not that kind of lover I too would like to pleasure her I don't know what to do ...
A. 30 November 2009: Well, I guess it depends on how receptive she is to these kind of things.
If you guys are comfortable talking and sharing, then tell her exactly what you want. Just say, you know it would be nice if I could initiate/lead sometimes.
If you ... (read in full...)
What do I get my 15 year old b/f for xmas?
Q. hi i have a 15 year old booyfriend and i cant think of a single thing to get him for christmas. we will be together for 8 months in december. so any ideas on what to get him?...
A. 30 November 2009: Well, you guys are still young and haven't been together that young, so I would suggest something fun and not too expensive.
I recently got the guy I was dating a fun present: I got him a giant lava lamp and giant superman mug. He loved th... (read in full...)
I want to use Tiger Balm as a Sex Aid
Q. I heard from different people that putting tiger balm on your clit makes the pleasure intensify. Is this true or just something someone came up with? Also would it cause any problems if I tried it?...
A. 29 November 2009: DO NOT PUT THAT ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR GIRLIE PARTS! If you look at the warnings on Tiger Balm it says to keep it away from sensitive areas, mucus membranes. You could get a chemical burn or irritation down there because of that. It's not... (read in full...)
Forceful sex!
Q. im 16 and ive been hooking up with a guy who's 26 for the last 5 months. it has been good, we just have sex, no dating. we have really good sex up until the last time which was a week ago. he really hurt me and left bruises all over me. he came ...
A. 28 November 2009: First you need to go see a doctor. Pregnancy aside you are at risk for a having contracted STIs/STDs.
I am willing to bet that you weren't the only woman he was sleeping with and he probably didn't use protection with the others either.
The ... (read in full...)
Why does he think this time will be any different?
Q. okay here the deal. my husband and i have been having problems for the last six months. just the other night we got into a heated argument to the point it almost got physical luckily he didnt actually hit me. I kicked him out the next even...
A. 28 November 2009: Do you want to work things out with him?
Maybe you can suggest to him that he can move back in only if and when he STARTS counselling. Counselling with you and counselling on his own, b/c obviously he has some issues to deal with.
He won'... (read in full...)
How do I confront an acquaintance about an untrue rumor she may have spread about me?
Q. I need to confront an acquaintance who I know very well about a rumor she told a close friend of mine. Basically, she told him I slept with someone I have not, at a time when I was in a long term relationship (I do not cheat on my partners...
A. 28 November 2009: Chances are you are never going to find out who started to rumour. And I doubt you want to spend the time calling every person who was told about this. One it is time consuming, and two, ppl are going to think that you are desperate or something. ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue my friend's ex boyfriend?
Q. Ok here's what went down. I like this boy. But he dated a friend of mine. He only went out with her because he wanted to see if there's was chemistry...and there wasn't. So he dumped her. Now I want to ask him out, but my friend still likes him, and ...
A. 28 November 2009: Boys come and go, but friends are forever.
So, you need to ask yourself if you are willing to possibly lose your friend over a guy? What if there is no chemistry between you and him? If you go ahead with this, you may end up with no guy and ... (read in full...)
My teacher told me he loves me too much to have a relationship with me.
Q. Hi. My teacher told me that he loves me too much to do anything about it. I'm 14 and he is 30. He has taught me for the past 2 years. It started just basic flirting really, he stares and smiles at me, touches my shoulders, hands etc. He asks my ...
A. 28 November 2009: I hate to tell you this, but you need to stay away from this teacher.
He is a grown man, and has no business saying such things to a girl your age. I know it's easy to develop feelings for a teacher. However, you are right when you say that... (read in full...)
How can I get some 'me' time in this smothering relationship?
Q. Okay, so my girlfriend is very needy and possessive. We've been dating for 6 months now, and we're both 15. Over the last few months, it's been getting worse and worse. She LITERALLY expects me to hang out with her every second of my spare time, ...
A. 27 November 2009: That is a tough one.
Maybe you should tell her that if you didn't care for her so much, you would have walked away long ago. However, you do care, and for that reason you still want to be with her. However, she needs to realize that part of ... (read in full...)
My sister sent him naked photos, how do I get over this and him?
Q. A year ago my bf lied about being home one evening. Something told me he was lying I went to his apartment stood in the middle of it and called him. I asked what we was doing he said cleaning his apartment. Needless to say I got back with him. I ...
A. 25 November 2009: I completely disagree with CoolAndCoolest! There is absolutely no reason why you should have to put up with a man who shows you so much disrespect. Regardless of any other women, he crossed a HUGE line with the picture from you sister. I doubt... (read in full...)
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