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... Send *ncle Trev a private message | | | *ncle Trev's profile:I am a private teacher and a composer, living in the South West UK. I have a number of students at all ages and always listen to what they have to say. I have had a lot of experiences in life and am hopefully able to pass these onto others in a relatively unbiased way.
I have several hobbies which include, music, vegetarian cookery, snooker, photography, art, drama, and travelling. I have a strong sense of what I believe to be right and wrong and am a comfirmed agnostic. I am very liberal minded and can sometimes be too frank for my own good.
Out of all the Agony Aunts and Agony Uncles in the world my idols include Claire Raynor, Maury Povich and especially Jeremy Kyle as he is from my neck of the woods and is also a fellow West Ham United supporter.
I also am a lover of nature and a lover of the principles of nature and believe we should always let nature take her place and go with it.
If my opinion can help in any way then it makes efforts in here very worthwhile. |
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Is it okay to make love on the third date?
Q. Hello, Just want to know if it is right to make love in the third day from the first date? Or do you think that might make him lose interest in me and he runs away? Was it too fast? We're around the same age. I wrote this question because I'm inte...
A. 22 March 2008: There is only one time that is the right time for you two to get it together so to say and that is when the two of you feel it is right - wreather that is after ten years together or instantaneously or anything in between.
There is not a right ... (read in full...)
What use are dads? They just stop you doing stuff.
Q. Dad says I should concentrate on my studies instead of boys. He's always setting rules. Why can't I be like my friends and do as I please, they don't have dads. What use are dads? They just stop you doing stuff....
A. 22 March 2008: I know the angle your dad is coming from and it is a fairly straight forward one.
In general good parents want a better life for their children than they have had and the way they see a better life for their children is if they have more choice a... (read in full...)
What is "TriSexual"?
Q. Ive met a wonderful gril at college, i asked her out but she says o.k but she warned me she's trisexual. Ive never heard this before is she joking? She seemed serious. ...
A. 22 March 2008: As others have said - you'll better have an open mind as usually with trisexuals absolutely nothing is off limits -
Even stuff that many of us would never consider sexual and others would consioder perverted.
As human beings we all no matter... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my alcoholic boyfriend or leave?
Q. i have got a alcholic boyfreind i have been with for 3 years had a kid with him with is 18 months old what shall i do should i stay with him or shall i leave him cause he is drinking more than what he did when i first got with him ...
A. 22 March 2008: There is simply no future here unless he is willing to change.
Don't expect any change here as if he is not willing to stop for you and the little one there is not many more important reasons out there to give him the incentive.
He quit... (read in full...)
What the hell is wrong with me? I have feelings for my best friend and she's female like me!!!
Q. My best friend has recently told me she has deeper feelings than friendship for me. It was a little weird to hear it from her but I told her that I am straight and don't contemplate being with another girl because I am straight. Although I ...
A. 18 March 2008: This is a difficult one as you have here strong feelings of friendship alongside the development of some physical feelings too.
I once confused these types of feelings with a girl who I had known for all my life. We had grown up together... (read in full...)
Do I have a drink problem?
Q. ok, right a few nights ago i was drinking(alcohol) while watching T.V and I got a bit pissed and I started crying a hell lot! Is that normal? (it's not the first time it happened either!) Also, my friends think I have an addiction to alcohol, ...
A. 18 March 2008: In short yes you do.
An alcaholic is quite simply somebody who needs a drink - somebody who feels they cannot function unless they have a drink inside them.
You say "I do like to drink as often as I can" - does that indicate that you would d... (read in full...)
What ideas do you have for us to talk to her parents constructively about our age gap?
Q. Hi, I am 32 and she is 17. We are having issues with her parents agreeing for us to see each other. I realize everyone has their opinion on my intent and her being young, but that isn't the question. My intent is for us to be together. ...
A. 18 March 2008: There seems to be a huge diversity of opinion being offered here but there is something I couldn't help noticing.
I wonder how diferant the negative replies here would have been if you had not stated your ages, or if you had stated your ages as ... (read in full...)
My dad has problems with my husband - MAJOR problems!!!
Q. hi, My dad has problems with my husband - MAJOR problems. Ever since I introduced him to Dad three years ago when we told him we were engaged he's awful around my Jamie. Mum gets on fine with Jamie but Dad is really horrible to him. He insults ...
A. 17 March 2008: There really is not a lot more I can add that Irish hasn't said already and said very well.
What I will do is re-iterate that in nearly 100% of cases if someone in your position is pushed continuously to make a choice Husband or Parents it is th... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned my about my boyfriend being a "cross-dresser"?
Q. My boyfriend told me before we got together that he was a cross dresser, it didn't concern me at the time, but after a year he's still not introduced me to his other personality and i'm scared that he's doing something behind my back. He's mentioned ...
A. 17 March 2008: Most blokes I know who choose to cross dress do it because they like the feel of soft feminine clothes upon their bodies. These are usually closet cross dressers so to say and if this is the case you have absolutely nothing to worry about.
Ask h... (read in full...)
Women and stretch marks.
Q. I had a baby and now I have stretch marks. Are men turned off by stretch marks?...
A. 17 March 2008: I hope nobody minds me continuing on my post here about the problem with stretch marks not being any more of a problem than anybody wants them to be.
I am going to disclose a small but very true story of what happened to a good friend of mine whe... (read in full...)
I slept with my best friend's boyfriend, should I tell her?
Q. HELP im 12 years old and i slept with my best friend's boyfriend we were at a party and we got drunk. We both decided we really fancied each other and when his girlfriend left we ended up in bed.I don't no if i should tell my best friend. She...
A. 16 March 2008: For christs sake you are twelve years old - where are your parents in all of this.
Do they not know about this kind of delinquent behaviour?
Do they not care about you or your future?
As for doing this to your best friend what sort of person ar... (read in full...)
Should I tell her, before or after, or not at all??
Q. So i bisexual, there is a girl i like and she doesn't know. I'd like to get in a relationship with her in the future, but i think she would feel dodgy about it if i told her. What should i do, tell her about it before (If I do Go Out with her), or ...
A. 16 March 2008: This is a difficult one - maybe ask her out for a social drink and whilst having that drink tell her.
If you were not to tell her and started dating her it would only be a matter of time before somebody would tell her. This would make things d... (read in full...)
After five years, my fiance says he doesn't love me....What am I supposed to do?
Q. I have been with this guy for 5 years we have two children together he always seems i was every thing to him in 2007 we plained to get married in october 2008 and in the mean time we both were trying to have a baby we tryed for almost a year and i ...
A. 14 March 2008: It is difficult to assume why this guy has fallen out of love with you. You say you were both trying for a baby but then were very unfortunate to have had faced the very bitter journey of enduring a miscariage.
I wonder if you both have come to ... (read in full...)
I love her, but is she just too old for me?
Q. Im so confused right now... Im currently 18 but my girlfriend is 23. We been together for 2 months.. I've been getting teased by some of my friends because she is 5 years older than me.. Even my ex said "Who was that old lady riding with you?" ...
A. 13 March 2008: The problem here is only one. The problem that you see. You say you love her so there are no problems. If you choose to succomb to your friends and loose your girlfriend it is a choice that you and you alone have made.
Believe you me 5 years is... (read in full...)
Is there any physical harm in giving or receiving a golden shower?
Q. My husband and I have a great relationship. We have been married 24 years and our only child is on his own now. We have always been open to "suggestions" as long as it doesn't hurt the other or both physically. We always agreed to try what the ...
A. 13 March 2008: There is no harm in it although I would personally never indulge in this - it just doesn't do it for me. I have read in numerous articles about the qualities of urine though - the romans even used it to clean their clothes. ... (read in full...)
Should I still pursue this guy as I had a REALLY good time or just leave him alone?
Q. I've been flirting with a guy for several months and we finally were able to meet for sex. We have both been eager but nervous to get together, as we are both sort of shy and reserved. It ended up that he could not get it up, but gave me some ...
A. 12 March 2008: Meet up with im and talk - ask him what he wants out of the potential relationship if he wants a relationship at all. Once you know what he wants out of it you then know where you stand and can make a better decision from that position.... (read in full...)
I've met someone else during the time my BF was in jail, but this person is much older, what to do?
Q. i'm 19 and my boyfriend is 29, well me and him haven't really been getting along for the past year or so, he left me, ditched me and has no legittimate excuse for the reason why he's gone,well now he's in jail for about 1 month and half, during that ...
A. 12 March 2008: If you like the new guy date him. You own the guy in jail nothing - not even an explanation after all - he left you and now he is inside.
The age gap will not be a problem unless either of you see it as one.... (read in full...)
Women and stretch marks.
Q. I had a baby and now I have stretch marks. Are men turned off by stretch marks?...
A. 11 March 2008: The only thing I can think of that would turn a bloke off about stretch marks is if the lady concerned keeps on letting them get her down. It is more a question of how the woman reacts to them as opposed to the actual marks. If it doesn't get you ... (read in full...)
We're fighting a lot about my freedom, what should I do?
Q. My life is so confusing, i'm dating a muslim and im obviously auzzie and he has so many rules no talking to guys at ALL!! i have to wear what he says i'm not allowed out of the house unless its with him. we're always fighting over the tiniest ...
A. 10 March 2008: Dump this evil bully and do your best to have him deported if he is not an Australian National. Animals like this do not deserve to live in the free world.... (read in full...)
I have become the class joke but I am NOT gay as they tease! How can I cope??
Q. people at school keep calling me gay. relating me to everything gay. they don't stop. they are getting nasty now . i have become the class joke HOWEVER I AM NOT GAY. i feel almost suicidal and if other people didn't need help i would have done the ...
A. 10 March 2008: Usually people who become slanderous like this with gay accusations often have gay issues themselves and find it difficult to deal with. These people often have homosexual feelings and hate this so they lash out at any target they can find.
... (read in full...)
I would like a man's opinion about whether or not you would dump someone because of braces? Do you think I should have backed down and said I wouldn't get them?
Q. I'm 20 years old and in university right now... I had been seeing this guy for 2.5 years and it was very serious, talking about the possibility of engagement at some point in the next 3-4 years... very serious. I loved him with all my heart and we ...
A. 10 March 2008: I am afraid this bloke is a complete idiot.
No matter how much you like him he doesn't like you that much. No matter how much he says he likes you. If he liked you that much he would at least be able to see beyond the next six months and woul... (read in full...)
Fat, skinny or just right?
Q. Hi, I'd like to ask a question about weight. Please be truthful and please don't leave harsh comments. I am 13 years old, about 5 ft 2/3 inches tall and I weigh 7 stone and 3 pounds. Am I over weight, under weight or just right?...
A. 10 March 2008: I would say from your description that you are slightly underweight if anything but not so far underweight that it was anything to worry about.
I would go with LJ that 8 to 8 and a half stone would be better though.... (read in full...)
It's the chance of a lifetime for him, should I agree to let him go?
Q. My boyfriend has been asked with work to go to Australia for 3 months to work. I am worried that is too long to be apart and our relationship won't withstand it.. He has said he won't go if I say I don't want him to. Do I have the right to stop him ...
A. 10 March 2008: Surely it is only three months - how about you going with him?
As for the money - if it is this good and you know he could earn this good out there then it has to be considered.
It is quite possible for a relationship to handle a three m... (read in full...)
Is money more important then my happiness? Should I stay tied to this relation for my son's comfort?
Q. PLEASE HELP IM FALLING OUT OF LOVE.. me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years we have a 2 year old son, and about one year ago we bought a house, he is the one who earns the money even though i do work i don't earn much. i have fallen out ...
A. 8 March 2008: If you spend your life chasing money that is all you will ever have.
It is an old proverb but also a very very true one.
Staying with your husband unhapilly will continue to get you down if you feel there is no reverse of this and it is o... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not ready to settle down...
Q. Being with someone who's not ready to commit I've brought up this topic several times with my bf. I said I want to get married in around 3 year's time. He said he'll definitely not get married in 3 years, and when I asked further, he said he dunno...
A. 8 March 2008: If you are together and he is taking responsibility for his side of the relationship then what is the big thing about getting married.
Marriage is not the major institution today that it has been in the past and I am quite surprised how and why ... (read in full...)
If I just drink Fanta and Coke till Easter Sunday and eat nothing will I lose weight??
Q. Dear Cupid, what will happen to me if i only drink fanta or coke zero til easter sunday? And eat nothing? I just have one can a day (330 ml) and that it. Will i lose any weight? What side effects would it cause me to have? Is this an awful idea? T...
A. 8 March 2008: If you spend the next two weeks eating nothing you will get ill and probably go to hospital - simple as that.
Dieting like this does not work - your body goes into starvation mode and your motabilism slows down so you burn far less calories... (read in full...)
How can we make losing our virginities REALLY special?
Q. hey, I've being with my boyfriend now for 11 months, it's our year aniversery in 3 weeks and we are planning on losing our virginities to each other on the date we got together. He is 16 and I am 15, 16 in april, and i think looosing our ...
A. 8 March 2008: In your shoes I would not set a date and count down to 'let's do it day'.
You will put untold pressure on the situation and whatever happens will not be natural at all.
You say your anniversary is in three weeks time and your 16th birthday is... (read in full...)
Who's spreading these vicious rumors?
Q. I'm confused! i met this girl and we have a lot of things in common. but ever since i started hanging out with her, vicious rumours have started going around about me! and my friends say she spreads them. who should i believe? ...
A. 8 March 2008: I would confide with her something that has not been disclosed to anybody else.
It doesn't have to be the truth, it just has to be something that nobody else would say. Something like you secretly having the hots for somebody like a teacher.... (read in full...)
While away we grew close and I fell for him. But he has a gf...any advice?
Q. Theres this guy at my orchestra, and he is 16 im 15, and wev recently all been away together. Whilst we were away, me and this guy grew really close, and he flirted with me alot always hugging me, trailing me around, putting his arms round me etc. ...
A. 1 March 2008: This is a difficult one. Has he said anything about his present girlfriend and what he thinks of her or what she thinks of him. Is it a strong relationship?
I know from years of experience that musicians are attracted to fellow musician... (read in full...)
He slept with 2 girls before me while drunk, and I have trouble dealing with this issue!
Q. i've been with my bf for 4 years now and he slept with 2 girls before me, he was my first and i still get really mad and upset when i think about his last words, will that feeling ever go away? he said it only lasted about 5 mins each and he slept ...
A. 1 March 2008: You're annoyed with him because of something he is in no position to do anything about.
Condemning him for something like this is one of the quickest ways to ruin what relationshuip you have left.
It is no big deal that he slept with anybo... (read in full...)
On A Search For Either Escorts Or Massage Parlours Any Advice Welcome.
Q. Hi All I have never had a girlfriend or sex and I am in my 20's, I am fed up waiting for the right female to come along as I know it will probably never happen so I have decided to look for sex either in a massage parlour or hire an escort as I n...
A. 29 February 2008: There are massage parlours and escorts in every city in the country and I know for sure that Exeter is no exception to this.
At the same time there are some good pubs and clubs in the city as well where people go on the pull so to say.
I pe... (read in full...)
I am unmarried and the teacher of my son might fancy me, what shall I do?
Q. I have a 6 year old that i take to school everyday and iv noticed a certain male teacher there who has just lately being smiling at me and says hello and im very attracted to him, im single so i dont have a partner.The problem is im not sure whether ...
A. 29 February 2008: Sounds like the beginnings of something a little bit special. Just take it a step at a time, maybe invite him around for a cup of coffee and a chat one afternoon after school before the evening. It will give you a chance to chat a bit more and get ... (read in full...)
The ex fiance who harassed my husband and I now surprisingly became part of our sexual games! Should I allow her to aproach similarly?
Q. Okay, let me start from the beginning. When I first met my husband he had an ex fiance that was just obsessed with him and he was totally through with her, but she wouldn't stop trying to get in touch. Finally after about a year and a half of her ...
A. 29 February 2008: Although it sounds like a lot of fun you are all having there I can't help but be a little suspicious of her long term motive. You need to talk this out very thouroughly with your husband and make sure it is always you two and her, never you two ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my 10 year old son controlling my husband and I?
Q. My son who's 10 has tried to runaway several times. It is very distressing for my husband and me. Our boy seems perfectly happy at home and it seems in school too but when he doesn't get what he wants on the spot he often gets into one of his bad ...
A. 29 February 2008: If your son has not been disciplined how is he going to know right from wrong?
He is doing these things because you let him and is getting away with it because you choose to let him get away with it. A few firm rules and standing by them would he... (read in full...)
No sex before marriage... or should I?
Q. My family are conservative Christians and have a strong, deeply rooted belief that sex before marriage is a big no-no. For the first half of my life I also believed in this, and I wanted to remain abstinent until marriage. If anything, to make my ...
A. 28 February 2008: This has got to be your decision and your decision alone.
Only you know for sure if it is right for you to have sex.
You do not need pressure from anybody - especially a church that seems more geared towards controlling people and casti... (read in full...)
I brush him off when he wants sex, so now he's watching porn and hiding it from me, what should I do?
Q. (This is my fake anonymous account. I am Female) I caught my fiance masturbating in the basement while watching porn over the internet. I pretended I didn't see him as he scrambled to cover his tracks. He minimized everything in his desktop and ...
A. 28 February 2008: If you do not give him the intimacy he feels that he needs he is going to go somewhere else for it instead.
At least show some gratitude that he is doing this as opposed to getting out there and having an affair with somebody else or paying f... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to feel resentful after I helped him out so much??
Q. My boyfriend has recently come into some money (about 3000 pounds). Previous to this he always struggled, and I bailed him out of many bills that he ended up struggling to pay etc etc. I did this out of kindness and never expected anything back, ...
A. 28 February 2008: This sounds like a give and take relationship.
You do all the giving and he does all the taking.
Try giving him one last thing - THE PUSH.
In many ways this little windfall has been a good catalyst. You can now see what he really thinks of... (read in full...)
Is frequent masturbation at 30 normal??
Q. My husband and i have been together for 8 years and married for only 2, our marriege is about to end, due to the fact that i keep catching him in the shower masturbating, he is 30 years old, we dont have sex anymore, except maybe once a month, and ...
A. 28 February 2008: Have you both thought of visiting a sex therapist. It might be the way forward here but failing that you need to talk to each other.
I am not sure of how filing for divorce on the grounds that he plays with himself in the shower would go down ... (read in full...)
The age differecen would be huge...but would it be right??
Q. The problem is that I am 28 years old, a mature student at University, and the female students are younger than me, aged 19-23. Am I too old to date a younger female student aged 20-23? Is it morally wrong? The age gap (say I found a girlfriend aged ...
A. 28 February 2008: My main concern here is that at the age of 28 you are describing yourself as someone approaching middle age.
What does that make me at 43 then, an OAP?
You are only as old as you feel and if you feel like a 20 year old the so be it. There is... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend being selfish, to complain about her financial efforts whereas I am unemployed?
Q. ive been with my girlfriend for 2 yrs and she has supported me financially as ive been unemployed, i spend most of my time on the computer because i can chat to the women on there they understand me far better than my girlfriend does, although we ...
A. 27 February 2008: This guy, assuming this isn't a joke, is nothing more than an egocentric ponce.
THERE IS QUITE SIMPLY NO POINT IN TRYING TO HELP SOMEBODY WHO IS NOT WILLING TO HELP THEMSELVES IN LIFE.... (read in full...)
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