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... Send *mmy-Lou a private message | | | *mmy-Lou's profile:I may only be 21 years old but I have been through an awful lot in them 21 years including:
Being abandoned by a parent.
Being beaten by my father.
Being beaten by my first husband at just 19.
Being cheated on twice in my longest relationships.
Having lost 2 babies.
Self harming.
I believe that I can give straight advice on anything be it relationships or work troubles.
I am always here to help, no matter what the problem.
Hope to be able to give you answer you need.
Happy reading. |
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| Latest articles: The answer to everyone's problems!
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 March 2008: After 4 days of being off work with stress and after a lot of research, I can openly state that helping people with their problems has completely calmed me down. Not only has everything gone back to normal in my life, I now take complete pride w...
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I'm insecure about my looks and can't stand to see sexy women on tv
Q. i am a 23 year old girl who is overweight but i take pride in how i present myself most days. i guess ill say i am attractive for my weight. i have this wonderful boyfriend whome i love very much. we have been dating for over a year and live tog...
A. 2 December 2009: Hi hun
I am in EXACTLY the same boat ... Same age, same body hang ups and everything.
You only need to remember 1 small thing ... Your boyfriend is not with you because of how you look (although that will play a part in it) but he's with becaus... (read in full...)
His female best friend has a hold over him. What should I do?
Q. My Fiancé and I have been together for four years and from day one I have had a problem with his female best friend. I'm not normally a jealous person and he has other female friends and i've hated myself for being so bothered by her. I've tried ...
A. 24 March 2008: Be straight and tell your fiance exactly how your feeling. You should not feel like 2nd best for anyone!
Your fiance obviously has no idea how your feeling as he would not openly hurt you like this.
Explain that you feel left out and he is cu... (read in full...)
I feel asexual, is there something wrong with me? There was this incident with my step-dad....
Q. I'm 18 and have no sex drive. Is there something wrong with me?? When i was 9 I was molested by my step-dad, and i remember his finger penetrated me and it hurt sooooo much!!! I still remember it like nothing. But it caused me no psychological ...
A. 24 March 2008: It sounds like there may still be some underlining issues between you and your Step-dad. It may seem strange but even though you are getting on fine, his presence is obviously affecting subconciously.
It's not uncommon to feel this way, even at ... (read in full...)
Does he like me or not? He did seem to, then went cold...
Q. Hi ok i know some of you will read this and think theres nothing we can say to help but please try. Right it all started off as a crush last november on a guy whos in all my classes but now ts developed into something more. he's alwasy said hes ...
A. 24 March 2008: You may not like this answer, but you do want us to be truthful.
It seems to me there isn't any actual signs that he is feeling what your feeling. I know it's hard to hear, and I may be completely wrong.
The best way for you to this problem is ... (read in full...)
I'm gutted I may have lost a very good friend...but was I wrong to tell my other friend what she was saying??
Q. I have 2 best friends whom I love to bits. One of them, Clare, is closer to me than the other one is, we are more like sisters than best friends. The other day I heard Clare bitching about our other best friend to someone and it was wrong because ...
A. 23 March 2008: I think yo were completely right to stick up your friend, especially when you knew she didn't deserve it. That shows a lot of loyalty in your friendship and your other friend will always be ready to stand up for you now!
It seems tha Clare ob... (read in full...)
My past has affected my trust in men, I'm afraid this will reflect in my current relation!
Q. Hi i am 23 and new to this, i need some advice. i started going out with my current boyfriend 4 months ago, we work together and everything has been going great. apart from me and my jealousy, in previous relationships i have been cheated on and ...
A. 23 March 2008: Have you completely explained why you act the way you do?
If not I think it might be time that you do. I've been cheated on before, once by my husband and another time by my current boyfriend.
You have to remember that not all men are the same... (read in full...)
If I want a long-term relationship, which of the two girls should I choose?
Q. I'm a male, 17 years old, homeschooled. At a homeschooling meeting, I introduced myself to a new girl who appeared to be around my age. As it turns out she's 13, but actually wants me as her boyfriend, which I'm reluctant to do for obvious ...
A. 23 March 2008: The high and low of it is, you can't have evrything.
You need to make a decision as to what you want, a young girl who will always be near you, but like you in regards to your religion is 'untouchable'.
Or would you like to move to be with ... (read in full...)
Is a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy?
Q. My wife and I were having one of our weird philosophical discussions about sex and this question came up. Do men and/or women consider a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy? Let me try to explain this question. For the woman, is there ...
A. 23 March 2008: I've always found that they feel the same, condom or no condom.
If you blind folded us and asked us to guess if you were or weren't using one, I can bet that very few women would be able to tell the difference.
I do believe however, that it... (read in full...)
If I love my girlfriend more than she loves me, is this bad?
Q. If i love girlfreind more than she loves me what do i do? I get this earie feeling that i care for my girlfreind much more than she cares for me. I'm constantly asking her whats going on in her life, she tells me this and that i listen and i giv...
A. 23 March 2008: You may find that a lot of women are very into themselves. It's nothing against you, they jsut like to be the centre of attention (this is only some women not all of us!)
Be upfront with her and tell that you feel unappreciated and she doesn't ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant on the last day of you period?
Q. can you get pregnant on the last day of you period? i have read several different colums saying u can im trying to conceive and wondering if i'll be pregnant this month. my last period was 2/28/2008 and ended on 3/4/2008 so if i had sex on 3/4/2008 ...
A. 22 March 2008: To be honest it can be a possibility but a very very slim one at that.
I'm currently trying to conceive myself and it can be quite tricky.
I've joined a site www.fertilityfriend.com.
All you simply do is enter information into it dail... (read in full...)
I'm scared my GF could be pregnant at 14, how to tell our parents?
Q. i need help,im 14 and i think i made my girlfriend pregnant who is also 14. im really scared, i dont really know if she is or if she isn't. if she is, i dont know what i would do and how we would tell our parents. can someone please help me!!!...
A. 22 March 2008: She needs to do a pregnancy test first before you do anything else.
Has she missed her period? If not then your fine. If she has, get to the chemist asap!
If you have to tell your parents, I'm not going to tell you that it will be easy. But the... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel suspicious?
Q. Hi, i've been with my boyfriend for 7 months and i'm pregnant the problem is his job, he works in a pub and works 6 nights a week 6pm till closing so doesnt get home until 3 or 4am but i am getting suspicious because he seems to be getting home ...
A. 22 March 2008: My boyfriend not only works in a pub but lives there too!
I know it's hard, but I have to be blunt and say that by the sounds of it, it seems there may be something going on.
It's true that they do stay after work for drinks, my boyfriend has... (read in full...)
I rejected his hints as I'm not physically attracted to him, do I tell him that?
Q. There is a guy friend who is interested in me. He has dropped plenty of hints that he wants more than a friendship with me but I act as though I don't get his hidden messages. I am not physically attracted to him nor does his personality pull me in ...
A. 22 March 2008: No, no, no!
Never tell a fat person you don't find fat people attractive. That is the worst possile thing you can say.
JUst explain that you don't feel a connection and just aren't attracted to him.
Don't refer to him as fat, that will pu... (read in full...)
Can I find out before my missed period?? What can I do to stop thinking about this possible pregnancy...?
Q. There is a very strong possibility that I may be pregnant and I just can't keep my mind off of it. I have to wait until I miss my period to determine whether I am or not and it's really bothering me. Any ideas on what I could do to find out sooner ...
A. 22 March 2008: Be prepared because it sounds like your period is coming. Have you got an cramps or any of the usual signs? If so then there's your answer.... (read in full...)
Jealousy? Or do I really still like him?
Q. i went out with this guy who i really like and i really want to get back together with him but he has a girlfriend and i dont know if he likes me or not. i called hi yesterday and told him i still had feelings for him and that i'd call him back ...
A. 22 March 2008: It sounds like you may still have some feelings for your ex, but the biggest part will more than likely be jealousy.
Your still so young, you don't need to focus all your energy on this guy, you have plenty of time to date and sooner or later yo... (read in full...)
My best friend needs some advice but I don't know what do to! How can I deal with this?
Q. Hey i need help, i have a best friend and shes amazing and i really like her( and by the way im bi and she knows) but she doesn't know that i like her but thats not really my problem. Her boy friend broke up with her like 2 weeks ago and she was ...
A. 22 March 2008: Ask your friend what she really feels in her heart. Would it be such a great loss is she never got back with him? Will he be funny if they break up for good? Just sit her down and ask her what she REALLY wants. Hope this helps and goo... (read in full...)
We used extra-safe condoms when we had sex but my period is late, could I be pregnant?
Q. Well me and my boyfriend had sex four times. The first time we used a pleasuremax condom. It didnt split. But he didnt roll it off, he pulled it so everything fell onto his bed (I was dressed by the point). The next three times we used extra safe ...
A. 22 March 2008: Firstly, how irregular are your periods.
Secondly, you have to remember that if you have been under any stress lately, that slow your period down.
Now, I would say,yes, buy a pregnancy tester. It's alwasy best to be completely safe.
There c... (read in full...)
What do you do when you are in love with your friend...
Q. What do you do when you are in love with your friend but don't know if they love you back?...
A. 22 March 2008: My Motto:
'Honesty is always the best policy'
Tell your friend in private, see what he says, you never know, you may be shocked by the answer.
You won't be embarrased because no one else will know (unless you decide to tell someone).
Hop... (read in full...)
I'm married but found my "Soulmate"! Should I leave my wife?
Q. I am married for 15 years with 2 children. I reconnected with the woman I have loved my entire life by accident and we began an affair. It has lasted for over a year and we are soulmates and madly in love. We want to be together forever. She is ...
A. 22 March 2008: This is a very tricky situation.
Is there any particular reason why you have stopped loving your wife?
If your not too sure, maybe you should about looking into help within your marriage.
Sit down and talk to your, don't mention your other... (read in full...)
Now he likes me, but the problem is I don't like him any more then a friend and I can't tell him this because it will break his heart.
Q. I have a guy friend who I used to like, that's how I became friends with him in the first place. Now he likes me, but the problem is I don't like him any more then a friend and I can't tell him this because it will break his heart. What do I do? He ...
A. 22 March 2008: You can't just change your feelings to suit someone else. You have to actually want to like them, not feel forced to like them because your scared of hurting them. Thats just not the way it goes unfortunately!
You can't leave him with the impressi... (read in full...)
To ladies, about sex: longer duration, better? To men: can you control when you climax?
Q. Does any of the ladies out there feel that when sex goes on for more than 2 hours it becomes boring and tedious and repetitive? I lose interest in having sex around an hour into the act, and I start to dry up and just want the guy to finish up. And ...
A. 22 March 2008: It's true, most women like the fast and short version of sex. We like it to be rampant and passionate not lying there counting the patches on the ceiling or wondering if you have to wait much longer will you fall asleep.
And in terms with men, yes... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my ex wants me back?
Q. We broke up 3 months ago, and in the past 6 weeks, my ex boyfriend has had a few conversations with my family and friends, about me, and how he feels about me. He had gone so far as to say his feelings came back for me when he saw me one day ...
A. 22 March 2008: To be honest, it sounds like there are some lingering feeling on his side.
The only real way to get a straight answer out of him is to ask him face-to-face.
That way when he blushes or looks away you know their is definately something still ... (read in full...)
Can I find out before my missed period?? What can I do to stop thinking about this possible pregnancy...?
Q. There is a very strong possibility that I may be pregnant and I just can't keep my mind off of it. I have to wait until I miss my period to determine whether I am or not and it's really bothering me. Any ideas on what I could do to find out sooner ...
A. 20 March 2008: There is actually a pregnancy test that you can buy that can tell you up to 4 days before your missed period, ask at your local chemist, they will be able to help you.
Hope this helps and good luck.... (read in full...)
We just had sex! Will this risk our friendship?
Q. please help! i went out in january for my birthday and met a guy through one of my friends i went to school with. we hit it off and have become friends - but we sleep together, he stays at my house every weekend and sometimes in the week. we dont ...
A. 20 March 2008: Just come out and say it, if he doesn't feel the same way you can put it behind you and stay friends.
But it sounds like he wants to be more than friends if he's spending time round at your house and showing you signs of affection.
Hope th... (read in full...)
How safe is ORAL SEX from AIDS.. HIV...??
Q. How safe is ORAL SEX from AIDS.. HIV... Is it dangerous to have oral sex with women for aids ?...
A. 20 March 2008: If you know that the woman has aids, then it is very very dangerous to have oral sex with her, because you will catch aids!... (read in full...)
I get so angry things just seem so bad. I don't know what to do. How can I de-stress?
Q. Why is it anytime I have a bad day, I suffer some sort of depression? I find that these days, if I have a bad day, it's an awful one. Today, everything seemed to be going okay until it came to something really important (TRYING to record my bands CD...
A. 20 March 2008: Start spending some more time hanging out with your friends.
Don't try to do anything that involves couples or anything like that as this is obviously your trigger.
If you have an older brother or sister, try talking to them, failing that spe... (read in full...)
She rejected me 4 months ago because she had only just ended a relation. When is it a proper moment to ask again?
Q. i'm a stubborn and picky bloke, and i struggle to find a woman that to me is 'what i'm looking for', until i found her, and i've never met anyone that i've conected with so well. we have lots in common, and share simliar interests, and she makes me ...
A. 20 March 2008: The best way to deal with this is gradually spend more time with her, start asking her out for a drink, or to the cinema. But take it easy, don't dive in head first, you may catch her off balance and she may reject your advances.
If you take it ... (read in full...)
Help, best friend, married man, major disaster!
Q. Right, please don't jump down my throat here but my best friend's husband and i have realised that we fancy eachother, i don't have many friends and i am very lonely and i think that's why i have developed these feelings. the other day we kis...
A. 20 March 2008: This is a very difficult situation especially if you spend a lot of time with this man.
But at the end of the day, you will end up hurting your best friend if you start something up and if it doesn't last then you lose 2 people in the process.... (read in full...)
A gentle way to break up from my GF who has self-harm tendencies?
Q. I've grown apart from my girlfriend of 15 months and need a very gentle way to break up with her over a period of time. I don't want her to get really upset as she used to self-harm...
A. 20 March 2008: There is no easy way of breaking up with anyone, no matter what their problems are.
Depending on how long ago she used to do it, it shouldn't really be an issue.
I used to self harm about 2 years ago and have a lot of terrible relationships si... (read in full...)
I think of him a lot and am so hurt by the terrible things he said, which were mostly a lie!
Q. Hi cupids, I have been seeing a guy on and off for 6 mths. It started as I met him thru a guy I was seeing - me and the 1st guy only met up a few times, never slept together and it didn't work out, no hard feelings. However me and his friend c...
A. 20 March 2008: It sounds like you have had a horrible experience. He sounds like the kind of man who is trying to keep up appearances for his mates and may be embarrased by your relationship. Next time you know your going to see him, spend hours preparing y... (read in full...)
My best friend is getting really secretive.
Q. My best friend is getting really secretive. I mean, normally if i had news i would tell her before anyone else! She got a boyfriend, right, and i only found out off someone else! I asked her if it was true and she said yes. Now i'm unsure of ...
A. 20 March 2008: Unfortunately I have been in the same boat as my best friend once got pregnant and never told me that she had or the fact that she had an abortion. We spent months not talking to each other and gradually I missed her, so we began talking to each ... (read in full...)
I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months, it started off great but over time it's got worse, he just doesn't seem interested anymore.
Q. Hi everyone, I really need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months, it started off great (as it normally does) but over time it's got worse, he just doesn't seem interested anymore. I told him a few weeks ago that I couldn't carry o...
A. 20 March 2008: I would say leave him aswell, your still young and you don't need that kind of hassle in your life. He has begged you to stay then become distant, this is because he knows he can pull your strings whenever he feels like it. Don't put yourself i... (read in full...)
I am not sure if he is over me and just is keeping his distance, dating someone, or what.
Q. I am missing my ex and not sure if I should leave him alone or pursue a friendship or what not. We dated for three-four years when I was in high school and he is five years older then me. I went away for college and when he started talking about ...
A. 20 March 2008: Sometimes exes can become friends and others not. I would think the reason that he hasn't replied to you about seeing him is that he feels if he has another go with you, you will hurt him again. My advice would be to meet him somewhere open l... (read in full...)
I don't understand how he can be disappointed since this all happened in my past, before I even started talking to him.
Q. heyy everyone=] I'm in a little bit of confusion and need some help. Okay so me and my boyfriend were talking on the phone last night and somehow we got into the subject about my past and what I've done. He's always called me "miss innocent" ...
A. 20 March 2008: You'll be surprised to know that a lot of men do the same thing. The weird thing is they ask questions but they secretly don't want to know the answers. You need to explain to your boyfriend that your past is your past and that if he has an ... (read in full...)
I'm sure she has probably out on the pull as she seems to be out in clubs several nights a week like she used to be before we got together. What do I do please??
Q. Still love my ex and she confuses me. Try to get all the details in but be brief here. Girl i worked with years ago who was also one of my friends exes and another friends sister, Started showing interest in me and i had always liked her so went out ...
A. 20 March 2008: I wouldn't say to completely brush her to one side, if you can start spending more time with her in the party scene, she obviously knows that you are making the effort and has started to return the favour by wanting to spend more time with you. But ... (read in full...)
I'm married and having an affair but I'm so lonely...
Q. Hi there, I'm new to this but feel very alone. I need advice and help. I'm married but been having an affair. I want out but I'm also hurting. My husband only sees me one day in a week. It's been like this for 10 years. I love him but I'm so lonely. ...
A. 20 March 2008: Firstly, well done for admiting that your not happy. Thats always a good step. Now maybe you can start to understand that even if you do try and find comfort in a strangers arms, it will never be the same as your husbands. I can understand that ... (read in full...)
Breaking up for Uni???
Q. Hey, I noticed most of the guys who reply on this site are girls, so it'll be interesting to see the responses. I'm 17, soon 18. I've been with this girl for 6 months of more... started casual and we only spent time togehter because it was f...
A. 20 March 2008: Don't be so quick to jump into this decision. You will be amazed how many people go to different uni's and stay together. You will always have your summer breaks and such to see each other in. And if you wanted to be truly romatic, you cou... (read in full...)
For the last few days I really haven't felt myself at all - I feel dead inside. I feel nothing...
Q. This guy I was seeing for 2 years on and off casually, finally ended last week. I knew it was coming coz for two weeks he had been distant and hadn't seen me but ever since he told me last week, I have gone through many emotions - upset, angry, sad. ...
A. 19 March 2008: I know exactly how you, I have felt like that recently and it is a difficult time to go through.
My best advice is to share this with friends and family.
You'll be surprised how much knowledge they hold between them.... (read in full...)
Should I meet the ex or should I stay away?
Q. I am 29 years old, I moved up north to get away from an ex that I was madly in love with that had a new girl pregnant while we were on a break but we were still in love, he wanted to do the right thing by his children which I respect him for. We ...
A. 19 March 2008: I would say meet your ex, but only on common grounds.
If you do decide to start anything up again, take it very very slowly, this way if you feel uncomfortable you can make a clean break without affecting your children.
Hope this helps and g... (read in full...)
My brother went off to uni, and now he's back and he's said that I have gotten fat...
Q. heyx My brother went off to uni, and now he's back and he's said that I have gotten fat. When he says this to me, what comeback can I give him? I don't want him to see that it hurts my feelings, so what can I do to make this less obvious. How c...
A. 19 March 2008: Just say "whatever at least i'm not going bald" and examine his head slightly!
That will make him moan and leave you alone for a while.... (read in full...)
I'm sure she has probably out on the pull as she seems to be out in clubs several nights a week like she used to be before we got together. What do I do please??
Q. Still love my ex and she confuses me. Try to get all the details in but be brief here. Girl i worked with years ago who was also one of my friends exes and another friends sister, Started showing interest in me and i had always liked her so went out ...
A. 19 March 2008: To be completely honest with you if she is out partying all the time the fact of the matter is that she probably has been out on the pull.
If you get back together there is a very good chance that she won't change. Unfortunately that could le... (read in full...)
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