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... Send *pifanatical a private message | | | *pifanatical's profile:I am an avid writer of self improvement and dating tips, erotica, poetry and personal blurbs. Listening to peoples love woes and trying to give em my best advise is a challenge, but I believe we single aunts are usually the best people to take advise from, as we are away from the problems of relationships and look at things from an outsiders perspective. Not to say the attached aunts dont have a clue, but we do observe more..
I usually give all my advice straight up, and its prolly not what you want to hear, but thats just me. Honest & realistic is my policy, so you wont find my answers all sugar coated candy and sweetness. I base my answers on my lifes experiences, friends, and what I have discerned around me..
To all those here with love dilemmas, I do hope it all works out, remember, we should stay true to ourselves and trust our instincts, our intuition is the one that guides us.. :)
And remember love starts with ourselves, we should learn to love ourselves wholly and unconditionally, and accept the good with the not so good. How can we possibly love another when we cant love ourselves first? We cannot share what we dont have.
my fave thought of the day...
THE MORE ONE ANALYSES PEOPLE, THE MORE ALL REASON FOR ANALYSIS DISAPPEAR. SOONER OR LATER ONE COMES TO THAT DREADFUL UNIVERSAL THING CALLED HUMAN NATURE - O Wilde (The Decay of Living) |
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| Latest articles: Online dating tips
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2008: Online Dating Tips Newsflash: The girl of your dreams is not just hanging out in your neighborhood, but she is also just a click away! Just like the way business surges its scope wider, tapping the world, the dating scheme is expandin...
First date conversations!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2008: You've found the object of your interest, made eye contact and you are making your way towards him. And while you are doing that, don't forget to BREATHE ! You've done the hard work - you've approached someone and not only talked to them but secured ...
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Alternatives to sex to fulfill our sexual desires, any suggestions?
Q. hi. i'm 18 and my bf is also 18.. well, we dont want to lose virginity before marriage...we are gonna marry after 6 years,but right now we wanna try new stuff out..so what are the things apart from kissing that we can do so as to not cross the limit ...
A. 1 November 2008: Im from European origin, and we Europeans have always over the years traditionally preferred to remain chaste before marriage. However, to keep our virginity but still allowing ourselves to have fun, we engage in anal sex.
Anal sex is very ple... (read in full...)
She's so CLINGY I can't stand it! Should I break up or tell her I need some space?
Q. alright well iv been dating this girl for like only 2 weeks now...and we both live in a residence at our college. Well pretty much since the first day we met she is soooo clingy..we always have to be holding hands, hugging, rubbing or whatever the ...
A. 1 November 2008: You need to tell her pretty quickly, before she starts to get more comfy with you. I have a sneakin suspicion that she has a feelin you are feeling this way, hence the clinginess.
So, just be honest with her, tell her how much its annoying... (read in full...)
I think my friends have stolen the sex tape I recorded with my girlfriend, I'm freaked out!
Q. My girlfriend and me made a sex tape (we mainly just make out in it with our clothes off) for my birthday. Well my friends came over randomly when I was watching. They (I didn't let them watch it with me cause I promise her it would between us) ask ...
A. 1 November 2008: Im a bit confused. You say that you made a sex tape with your gf, that I get, but what I dont get is how did your friends know you made one? (you said you didnt let them see coz you promised your gf) so im stumped figuring that one out.
Obvio... (read in full...)
I don't want to go out with her and realise I don't like her!
Q. Hello Ive recently started to like this girl and i have only started to realise this when we were apart on half term from school. Ive missed her and havent been able to go to sleep because ive been thinking about her. Now as quickly as that ...
A. 1 November 2008: Its very common at your age to feel mixed feelings, doesnt matter who they are over. The advice given here is what I would agree on. Just be her friend, and step back from the more serious feelings until you can see what it is you truly feel. By all ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend, his colleague and I had a threesome, now I'm hyperworried about the time he spends at work!...
Q. hi,went on a business trip with my boyfriend of 2 years,he always talked about the young girl at work and it bothered me,this was the second time i met her ,her and i became drunk and began kissing which later ended up in bed,we did nothing more ...
A. 1 November 2008: His already had sex with her!! You say you wre drunk when it happened, but you still knew it happened. It sounds as if you crossed the line and now you are unsure about how you feel.
You cannot be sure that he wont have sex with her again, t... (read in full...)
Is coitus interuptus rude?
Q. I know a long list of people are going to tell me to use a condom but will ask this anyway. Is it rude for a guy to pull out and cum all over you if birth control wasn't discussed before sex? I say it is and he says it isn't....
A. 23 October 2008: forget feeling rude over it, its not a very reliable form of contraception to begin with. Precum almost always does ooze out of a guys penis when he is hard and erect, and can get you pregnant, so its advisable to wear a condom if your not on the ... (read in full...)
Does he really love me if he can do that to me?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost two years now and i recently realised that he started going out with my workmate as well, I asked him about it and said he wasn't serious in the relationship, he called the lady on her mobile in my ...
A. 22 October 2008: look closely at your relationship, its very hard to place blame on ourselves, but really it has nothing to do with you. Your bf has issues. Maybe he is feeling bored, or a lil devious, I am not condoning his behaviour btw, just trying to make you ... (read in full...)
What should I do to make this right?
Q. my best friend is kind of obsessed with this guy we go to school with named ''todd'' who's a year older than us and is a sophomore. she knows practically every single thing about him: his hobbies,b-day,class schedule, middle name, everything. well, ...
A. 22 October 2008: This is a lil confusing to figure out, you say your friend likes a guy names Todd, but you were dating him. When did this dating occur? when your friend liked him? Did you do it under her nose or were you dating before she started liking him?
... (read in full...)
Why are men so distant with a woman who they have been with in the past?
Q. i have slept with him off and on for over 30 years. it has been an off and on thing. he was married now divorced and im married. we have loved each other since we have been 19. i saw him a few weeks ago and found out that he has a new woman in his ...
A. 22 October 2008: maybe he still has feelings for you but just doesnt want things to become complicated. esp if he has someone new in his life. There is not much you can do unfortuately, men are such complex creatures when it comes to showing their feelings. At least ... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me if this is an orgasm?
Q. I have been in a loving relationship for 5 years and we are both very open minded where sex is concerned but i'm not sure if I've ever had an orgasm. (Please don't reply you'll know if you've had one - that doesn't help). I get to a point where...
A. 22 October 2008: yes, it does sound as if you are nearly there but not quite there. The tensing up pleasurable sensation you are describing sure sounds as if you are pushing all the right buttons, but you dont allow yourself to reach the peak for some reason.
... (read in full...)
When I find out they like me, my feeling of attraction for them disappears...
Q. Hi, I'm 17 and I'v got a problem. For the past few month, when I get to a girl relationship wise to the stage I realize that they may in fact like me all of a sudden literally on the very same day that I find this out, all my feelings of attraction ...
A. 15 October 2008: self assurance? you love the chase? ego pampering? could be lots of reasons. We all want to know that we can attract. How we handle it past the intitial attraction stage is the issue.
Do you really go deep when trying to attract? Or just remain f... (read in full...)
Do you think the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because of my weight?
Q. I feel RANK! I'm 5.7" and nearly 12 stone... I don't go round saying "eugh I'm so fat.. look at how fat I am" to everyone but I have told a couple of close friends how I feel about my looks and they say I'm not fat, but I think they're only saying i...
A. 15 October 2008: Its how you percieve yourself sweetee, think that your weight is a factor? well then thats what everyone else will think. Think that your sexy and attractive? well thats what everyone else will think too. Whatever your perception is focused on is ... (read in full...)
How do I change my behavior and my mindset so that I don't sabotage this relationship that I do not want to lose?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm not sure whether to break up with my boyfriend or not. We have been dating for 2 and a half years, we live together, and we love each other. But I am very insecure, and needy. I rely on him a lot for reassurance, and I really am ...
A. 15 October 2008: Oh my.. you do need to change sweetee, and pretty quickly or else your relationship will prolly suffer.
None wants a clingy partner, one that questions their every move. It looks desperate and sad. Do you have interests away from the relation... (read in full...)
We are not right for each other for marriage and we know it! How can I break away from him as I am so addicted to sex with him??
Q. i am a 28 year old woman,divorced a year and a half ago,i have been a very horny girl from the begining.I've had good sex partners before i got married and i've had a few sex partners after i got divorced too.My ex-husband however did not satisfy ...
A. 12 October 2008: You sound like you are having so much fun fun fun !! Hey thats great to hear!! Why spoil that by settling down so quickly? Enjoy your new found singleness and freedom sweetee. Also, when looking for a lifelong partner we usually get the opposite, ... (read in full...)
I have what seems like white skin all around the vaginal opening, is it because I've used soap and shaving gel to clean my inside? Sex is uncomfortable and I'm panicking!
Q. This is going to be long so ill apologize in advance! Im really embaressed about this, and im sorry but im going to have to tell you everything to get the answer as im going on holiday tomoro and im panicking! Ive been with my boyfriend for...
A. 12 October 2008: oooops, it sounds like you have upset the delicate balance of the vagina and have developed some kind of yeast infection like thrush. This is a very common problem with women who:
wear non-cotton undies
tight undies
use soaps to clean
antibi... (read in full...)
What can I do within my comfort zone to let him know I'm interested? I'm so shy!
Q. Sorry if this sounds really lame but there's this guy that I'm crushing on yet I'm too shy to even hint that I'm interested. We knew each other from elementary school and just recently found each other online. He told me that when we were young, he ...
A. 9 October 2008: Just continue with your friendly chats sweetee but drop lil hints that you are interested. Remembering names, places, things you have in common are very impressive to a guy. Ask what he does now, what his interest are and stuff like that. Dont seem ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of putting in this effort in this crazy relationship while he sits and makes strange comments?
Q. Hello, I have a few questions actually. I have been in a relationship for 4 years now and it seems like things are slowly getting worse. I do everything i can for this man but he keeps saying these random comments like "I think i sould leave" or ...
A. 9 October 2008: You have every right to be fed up with this man. If he were my boyfriend I would have given him 1 chance to explain himself and if he still is unsure I would show him the door. You dont mention if you live together or not, but if you do, tell him ... (read in full...)
He says I'm his soul mate but he doesn't want to be with me anymore...
Q. I have a huge problem... and I don't really know what I need to do. This guy I've been with for just over 2 years decided he didn't want to be with me any more. But he still says that I'm his soulmate and that he loves me more than anything. I'm so ...
A. 7 October 2008: No absolutely NOT! Get out there and have fun sweetee. For whatever reasons your bf doesnt want to be with you right now, just forget about it. It seems his made his decision, so dont beat yourself up about it. Dont seem like the clingy gf. If your ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to remove hair from the bikini line?
Q. What is the best way to remove the bikini area hair? Is it just shaving or any good products that you could recommend. Thank you...
A. 7 October 2008: forget shaving sweetheart, unless you love to see ingrowns and stubble. The bikini area hair is courser than the rest of the body, so its a good idea to wax it off. Before you start getting tears in your eyes, let me say, waxing isnt as painful as ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her I find her attractive and see what develops?
Q. Hi I am 46 year old who's remained married for 14 years with a wife who I still love and a lovely 7 yo daughter. I and my wife have communication difficulties and have grown less close emotionally or physically over time although we still connect ...
A. 30 September 2008: A marriage that has turned dull is a two way street. You need to make more effort there if like you say you love your wife and you wouldnt do anything to harm your daughter. Leaving your marriage will harm both!!
There is nothing wrong with stay... (read in full...)
People are rude to me and I feel horrible about myself!
Q. so ever since 9th grade peolpe were rude to me in school.im shy,i had cricked teeth, ut than i got braces, ther off now! thank god!one day at a party i made out with this one guy cuz he was hot an he would always flirt with me and the next day at ...
A. 30 September 2008: what an asswipe supreme he is! pathetic and very weak !!get this guys words outta your head immediately!! You see sweetee, ppl can only get to us if we allow them to and if we listen. You should have turned away and walked away when this was ... (read in full...)
Why won't he just come back to me?
Q. I was with my ex for almost 5 yrs and we were engaged to be married and have a daughter together. He left me over a year ago and started dating someone else within a couple months. For almost that whole relationship we've been sleeping together and ...
A. 30 September 2008: sounds as if he enjoys having girls at his mercy. on the surface it seems he is genuinely in love with you, but is prolly thinking about what broke you guys up in the first place and if he comes back it will go that way again. Perhaps this is his ... (read in full...)
What do younger guys think about FWB?
Q. Hey, just a quick question - what do younger guys think about the whole 'friends with benefits' idea? Recently I broke up with my boyfriend and although I get lonely and miserable, I don't want another committed relationship for a good while. I ...
A. 30 September 2008: hmm the only time ive heard that phrase uttered is from ppl having affairs. Perhaps a romantic, no strings attached love affair would suit you perfectly. Lots of women are in friends with benefit types of relationships, with alot in it purely for ... (read in full...)
If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, will sex hurt?
Q. I've been told something, and I just want to know if it's true or not. If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, sex won't hurt. Is this true?? If so, can you break your hymen yourself?? And will it hurt??...
A. 28 September 2008: you can stretch yourself by masturbating with fingers or a small thin dildo. use plenty of lube, relax and take it slow. ... (read in full...)
If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, will sex hurt?
Q. I've been told something, and I just want to know if it's true or not. If your hymen is broken before you have sex for the first time, sex won't hurt. Is this true?? If so, can you break your hymen yourself?? And will it hurt??...
A. 28 September 2008: the hymen is a thin flexible membrane that PARTLY covers the entrance to the vagina. This is so because the flow of menstral periods needs a way to escape every month. Not everyone bleeds the first time, some do heavily and others not so much while ... (read in full...)
Marriage proposals: do you have a story to tell?
Q. Hello All, I am wondering if anybody can help me. I am currently researching for a new book that I am writing and looking for stories of marriage proposals with a difference. Anything from the ultra romantic to the down right funny or corny. Do you ...
A. 25 September 2008: does a shotgun wedding count? lol i was 15 and fell pregnant while a run away from home and he was forced into marriage. Well not really forced coz we both decided thats we wanted to do, but being a foreigner in a strange country facing the brides ... (read in full...)
Is it legal to do sex between an unmarried couple in a hotel room?
Q. I want to do sexual intercourse with my girlfriend in a hotel. Is it legal to do sex between an unmarried couple in a hotel room? May I arrested by the police?...
A. 25 September 2008: checklist: are you both over 18? are you both consenting adults? If yes, who needs to know? im sure you both know how to be discreet yes? this sort of thing is very common sweetee, in every country regardless of how strict they can be. It a natural ... (read in full...)
Why does my guy hide his porn habit from me?
Q. What should I do about my guy porn habit? We've been together for almost two years, and when we started dating I made it very clear that porn was not an option because I consider it cheating. I told him that if he wanted to watch the stuff that I ...
A. 25 September 2008: hey sweetee thats one thing that would be damn near impossible to control, a guys porn surfing habits. Guys are very visual creatures and porn happens to be an outlet for his harmless masturbation fantasies. It doesnt mean he loves you any less. As ... (read in full...)
My ex thinks I'm over him (but I'm not) - what can I do to pretend I don't care? How do I act around him and his new girlfriend?
Q. well, i got dumped 6 weeks ago for another girl. It broke my heart, i really loved my ex - i think i still do but i know I can never get back with him. For the first couple of weeks I made it known to him and his new gf that I was hurt and wanted ...
A. 25 September 2008: everyones ego needs pampering at times and it sounds like your ex is going thru his share right now. You have made it clear in the beginning that you still care and he is FLATTERED by that believe me, even thou he has said he doesnt wanna no deep ... (read in full...)
What can I do to get my relationship back on track?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship for over four years now. Nine months ago my partner and I moved in together and away from our parents from the first time. We also moved with two mutual friends of ours. My partner has become increasingly ...
A. 22 September 2008: you need to shake things up sweetee.. instead of waiting for him to change.. YOU change.. stop feeling stressed.. arrange your day so you are enjoying yourself.. take up a interest away from him.. your self esteem and confidence will return..let him ... (read in full...)
My ex broke up from her boyfriend and is all lovey-dovey with me, why then she turns me down? Is she playing with me?
Q. Ok, just another Question needin an honest outside opinion. My ex and i were dating for almost 2 years. She gets jealous of me dating other girls and she is still very physically attracted to me. She says she never wants to be with me again, but her ...
A. 22 September 2008: just be there for her sweetee.. its normal for an ex to feel a lil jealous of others.. and more so for her now because she has just broken up and feeling vulnerable.. she sees you have moved on yet still feel for her... and shes prolly taking ... (read in full...)
He almost never replies to my texts, but I want to know how he feels about me. What can I say to him?
Q. Hi Cupid, So, there's a guy at school in Yr12 and I have been in love with him for about a year now, and recently I told him who I was, and that was ok, and I text him maybe once a month, because I got his phone number from where we work. Anyw...
A. 22 September 2008: start texting him more often.. and maybe arrange to go out?.. if you still feel nervous.. perhaps a group date would be best?.. dont be afraid to show the love sweetee.. why should we be afraid of love?.. we have been conditioned to believe its a ... (read in full...)
He prefers sex with 'himself' than me! What can I do?
Q. i have been with the same man for about nineteen years, and we stop sleeping together for about eight years in the same bed. thats ok with me. its the sex that i am concerned about. he would rather watch porn than to have sex with me. i dont even ...
A. 22 September 2008: maybe midlife crisis has hit for him? This is a problem with alot of males.. it has nothing to do with you sweetee.. alcohol sadly is another inhibitor.. my ex boyfriend was the same.. during our final year together he would masturbate in the ... (read in full...)
Is my husband cheating? He doesn't come home and blames our fights on me.
Q. I been with my husband for 6 years married for 5. he got a job 2years a go as a driver. in the first couple of months it was good coming home in time then everything change he started coming home late then not coming home at all an his excuse was ...
A. 19 September 2008: wheres theres smoke theres fire.. the alarm bells are ringing.. it seems the communication has broken down... so its time for you to sit him down and ask in a non threatening way whats up? ask about how work is going, how he feels about the ... (read in full...)
HOw do I fall out of love with the man I am having an affair with?
Q. Hi, I'm having an affair with a married man....yes i'm married too. we're friends and about two years ago we stepped over that line. .....I've always thought that people who have affairs are cold people only thinking of themselves and vowed...
A. 19 September 2008: its always the same scenario isnt it? dont judge a situation unless you have experienced it.. my dear you are in a difficult situation.. and i think the best thing you can do is have a break from it.. seriously.. take a week or two away from things ... (read in full...)
He has a history of cheating and many opportunities to cheat at work, should I trust him?
Q. hey aunties and uncles... i need some advice on something that is bothering me... so here goes recently ive got together with this guy after a long winded journey due to his ex still being in the picture, never the less we've been together for abo...
A. 16 September 2008: great answer from Natasia, and i agree with her. You cant predict these things.. It is up to you sweetee.. but to constantly be thinking about it must be driving you further into doubt.. i would let it go and enjoy the fact you both are together and ... (read in full...)
What exactly does "love" mean to you?
Q. heya, A friend of me asked me this, and i want to get some of your opinions on it... but can you tell me...? What exactly is love? I know... kinnda a big question... but i want to see what other people think it is :) And i dont really want the d...
A. 16 September 2008: true love starts with yourself, to love yourself wholly and unconditionally is the greatest love to know. If we dont truly love ourselves how can we then love another? You cannot share what you dont have. I hope this makes sense?.. cheers !!... (read in full...)
Is it really love already?
Q. hey everyone. i feel like a bit of an idiot here!! anyway i met this amazing guy last week, i ended up staying in a camping site and there we met, he came into our tent and we had a great night having drinks. we ended up kissing and so on, but ...
A. 13 September 2008: awww shucks.. this is the stuff i like to read about.. being the hopeless romantic that i am.. lol.. it sure does sound like the stirrings of something.. you sound like your all fluttery and stuff.. hihi.. go on sweetee dont be afraid to show the ... (read in full...)
Is he playing with me? I'm married but had an affair with him.
Q. Please help. 9 years ago I had an affair with a married man. I am also married. It ended after about 3-4 months and I was devastated. It took a few months but I got over him, never contacted him again and got on with my life. Now 9 years later ...
A. 13 September 2008: OMG please wake up to this player.. he is a manipulator extrodinaire.. the sooner you realise this and stop reacting everytime he presumably appears sweet.. then goes off again.. the better.. let him be sweetee.. why not put more effort into your ... (read in full...)
Do I have the right to feel hurt, used and angry or am I just being stupid??
Q. To summarise: (1) Met a guy through friends, 18 months ago. Fun, attractive, successful, gift of the gab but some issues as he'd been betrayed after long term relationship. (2) Fell head over heels in love with him and was pleased to hear ...
A. 13 September 2008: this guy sounds so f*cked up.. so much so he doesnt really knows what he wants.. and is prepared to use you until he eventually figures it out with no considerations about your feelings.. OMG if this was my guy.. i would really be telling him where ... (read in full...)
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