Do I stay with my wife or go off with my soul mate?
Q. My question is should I stay with my wife and have a routine life or go and be with someone who I believe is my soulmate. I have tried hard to make my marriage work and my wife is a very decent person but I feel as though I am living with a sister ...
A. 24 December 2015: Dear OP, A new start always carries the hope for life to become significantly better. Yet, even with your soulmate, if you want to build a new life, there will be new routine that has to be installed, eventually. You will need to sha... (read in full...)
I thought he was the sweetest guy but.... can anyone help?
Q. I recently got engaged to the most sweetest guy ever, or so i thought. He has recently been diagnosed bipolar and stopped smoking with the help of tablets as he isn't in the greatest of health. But, last few days if I speak to him I am babb...
A. 13 October 2015: Dear OP,
Don't let yourself be pushed into a marriage you don't want.
You may have had a good time together and shared a part of each others' life, but it seems you're too different to live a happy ever after.
You don't do yourself or him a... (read in full...)
How can I be in love with a monster?
Q. Please help me aunts and uncles. I'm stuck in love with an absolute monster who stepped out on me at the beginning of the year, and has been gone since. We were so great together, we planned for a baby, we had it all. Fast forward, I move in with ...
A. 11 October 2015: That wasn't love. That was unhealthy, addicted behaviour.
You feel withdrawal and emptiness in your life, that's why you think of him. Don't give in to those thoughts, take the chance for life to turn out better.
Fill the emptiness with s... (read in full...)
Should I get breast implants because my boyfriend wants me to?
Q. My boyfriend wants me to get breast implants, and I don't know how I feel about it. I am naturally very flat chested, an A cup. I've never really liked having small breasts but as I've gotten older I've learned to accept it. My boyfriend wa...
A. 20 August 2015: Dear OP, With all my love, are you going to pay lots of money, to let a surgeon cut you open, even though you are in good health and accept your body as it is - to please your boyfriend? I have no words for the anger that I feel for the "man... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says that he owns me and will say he wants to hurt me during sex. Is this the beginning of an abusive relationship?
Q. I started dating my boyfriend coming up for a year now. I'm 25 and he's 45. From the moment we met we got on great and always love being in each others company. But a few months ago I had a night out and he went very weird with me saying he didn't ...
A. 12 August 2015: Dear OP,
Run!
You felt it already a few months ago. The alarm bells ringing, the feeling of something wrong. Listen to that alarm, it's there to warn us women against men like him. It's vitally important sometimes, to NOT laugh things off, ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I am straight, bisexual or gay?
Q. Please help me, i'm very confused. I'm a 17 y/o straight girl, or as far as i'm concerned straight. And I never had any questions about my sexuality and was always certain of it, until I realized that some of the things I did when I was younger. ...
A. 8 August 2015: Dear OP,
I believe that you are nervous about college and sharing a room. And that's the main reason why you are overthinking this.
Did you ever hear about the Kinsey Scale? A lot of people are somewhere on a spectrum between completely strai... (read in full...)
Can you go on just a gut feeling only that something is going on with a partner?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend 3 years, we live together and are generally happy. I have no reason to distrust him but for the last week i have a gut feeling that hes doing something which i wouldnt like. I dont really have any proof other than he ...
A. 7 August 2015: Dear OP, Your "gut feeling" or intuition, is based on many things: Inherited instincts, personal experiences, experiences told or shown to you by others. I believe that your intuition is only reliable in areas where you have made several varyin... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 4 August 2015: Dear OP,
Haha - the sad faces :). I know, I know. When a man looks at me, I'm often so surprised that I probably look as if I am plotting his murder. It takes me a few seconds to realize.. wait.. is he looking at me because I've got somethin... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 3 August 2015: Dear OP,
May I just add that non-replys happen to me A LOT when I am the one taking initiative and writing to men online?
Because that's the truth.
Also, I never realized not replying was offensive until a man on an online dating site t... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my kinky fantasies that I give in to once a month?
Q. This is something that's embarrassing the heck out of me,and I cannot share it with anyone. Its bizarre. The thing is,every time of the month I get super-horny during my ovulation period (women would know what I'm talking about), I get very kinky...
A. 2 August 2015: Dear OP,
We live in the century where "Fifty Shades of Grey" is a blockbuster and bestselling novel. Where every sex shop sells bondage starter kits on Valentines Day.
Ever watched a Lady Gaga video clip? Or an old Madonna video?
You are NOT t... (read in full...)
I gave my boyfriend a handjob. Is there a risk of pregnancy?
Q. I just wanted to know if there is any risk on pregnancy in my situation, I gave my boyfriend a handjob and he had clothing on ( Basketball shorts and underwear) he had his clothing on the entire time this happened, I had a dress on, some clear fluid ...
A. 2 August 2015: Dear OP,
If it happened like this, no. There is no risk. The sperm needs to get directly into the vagina, not your thigh or hands. It won't creep on your skin like a bug or mysteriously jump up your leg. Whatever that fluid was, you washed i... (read in full...)
Worried I'll disappoint him. How can I explain to him that I'm not very experiened? That laziness during lovemaking is not the issue.
Q. So I have this guy that I have been seeing for a few months now! Its not a LDR but we do live almost two hours from each other and with work commitments and other things we have only seen each other three times but we talk every single day! W...
A. 2 August 2015: Dear OP,
Whether you're experienced or not, I find it rude to tell you that you are "lazy" in bed. Especially after you've only had sex twice (!) so far. And only three real dates. Sounds like he is not very patient. When I am with someone ... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as commitment phobia?
Q. Hi, I'm just out of a 4 years relationship that really broke my heart. My boyfriend left me saying he was mixed up, and needed to do soul searching. It has been a week since we are separated and with no contact. I am just beginning ...
A. 30 July 2015: Dear OP, I am not entirely convinced about the commitment-phobia theory, at least not when it comes to you. Because your ex-boyfriend DID commit to you and moved in with you and lived with you for 2 years. That has to count as a long and serious... (read in full...)
My fiance is a sex addict and it feels like our relationship is just about sex
Q. My Fiancé and I have been together a year. We have always enjoyed sex and have it quite frequently, 4 to 6 times a week. The thing is though I feel as though my sex drive is going down and I don't want it as much and his is going up and always ...
A. 30 July 2015: Dear OP,
I believe that you got engaged very soon with a man that is young and horny.
Don't marry him if you can't believe him that this relationship is based on deeper emotions. Don't let him make you feel guilty for not satisfying all of his n... (read in full...)
Can a man live without sex in a marriage?
Q. Can a married man in his mid 40's stay happily married if his wife doesn't want sex anymore? And I'm talking years now? Can a man live without sex in a marriage? ...
A. 30 July 2015: Dear OP,
I believe it depends on a lot of things:
1) Sex drive of the man
2) If the lack of sex is the womans' "fault" or his or can be blamed to circumstances like for instance the wife being physically unable to have sex
3) How much ... (read in full...)
Why should I date someone who'll still be in prison until 2016?
Q. Hi all. I've been single for the past 2 years because i have lost my boyfriend from suicide. Currently i'm studying on a distance learning program. As we mostly discuss our studies online and leaving our contact details for study group. So there w...
A. 29 July 2015: Dear OP, I would wish for you to make a good experience of a relationship, because the last one ended horribly. Can you emotionally afford the risk to date a man that is in prison, not just jail? That has for sure a history of crime and vio... (read in full...)
Should I be cautious? I am not sure about his Tinder past
Q. I have been chatting to a guy online and we seem quite similar in our outlook. He said he had a longterm relationship and then went on the dating app tinder and slept with 5-6 women as only wanted something casual but realised he wanted more. ...
A. 28 July 2015: Dear OP, I suppose that in earlier times, men HAD to lie to get into womens' panties when there was no intention of marrying them or seriously committing. But today? As far as I know, tinder people are pretty straightforward about th... (read in full...)
Husband on website talking about strap on sex, blood in his underwear! Am I just deluding myself into thinking he is not cheating?
Q. So a while ago i found out my husband was using the adult friend finder website. He addamantly denies meeting anyone he was just talking online... i am pregnant with our second child at the moment and since my mothers passing 2 years ago i have no ...
A. 28 July 2015: Dear OP, I understand your suspicion, especially since his reason (zit) sounds like an excuse. Medically speaking, I believe it could also be bleeding hemorrhoids. Him cheating wouldn't automatically leave you alone with two kids, I suppose. ... (read in full...)
We have a 6month old baby together. How can I tell him I don't think I love him now, without hurting him?
Q. I am currently engaged and have a six month baby with my partner but I don't think I am in love with him anymore. I love him like a brother, we are buying a house together and I still want to live with him and raise our child, but i don't want a r...
A. 27 July 2015: Dear OP, It's normal for couples to be under a lot of stress when the baby is small, and to lose sight of romance. Before you end things, make sure this isn't just a temporary low because of sleep deprivation, post-partum depression or the stress o... (read in full...)
I don't feel I owe him an "official" break up. My friend says I left my bf for minor reasons. Did I?
Q. Is it immature to leave a long term boyfriend for minor reasons? My bf has never spent any of his birthdays with me for the almost six years we've been together. It too four years for me to meet his mum and I've never been invited to family ...
A. 25 July 2015: Dear OP,
I think you're reasons aren't minor, I completely understand.
But still, I feel that you owe yourself and him an official break up.
Just walking away without a comment and letting him guess if it's over seems weak, as if you were... (read in full...)
Why can't I just do what any normal person would do and throw him out?
Q. My partner of 5 year, we've been seeing each other for 8 years and living together for 5 starting chatting with a girl on Twitter I. February. He's 58 and she's 27. I found out by accident in March and it had already got very deep between them. I ...
A. 22 July 2015: Dear OP,
You have been living together for 5 years, so if you want to separate and go different paths, you can't just say "pack your bags". Life is more complicated.
Could be that half of the furniture is his, that you're currently depend... (read in full...)
Virgin, 19, Anxious, and worried about how, when and where I'm ever going to meet someone and have a relationship. What can I do to resolve this?
Q. This is my first time trying something like this but I feel like I need to get it off my chest. Okay, so I'm a 19 year old male who is still a virgin which is one of the things bothering me. I broke up with my ex nearly 2 years ago and since th...
A. 18 July 2015: Dear OP, To me, it sounds like there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. I feel you're just painting the picture too dark. You already had a girlfriend once, so for sure you're not undateable. And even though you don't have many opportunitie... (read in full...)
We got along great, one time of oral sex and now he says I'm vindictive and he treats me like a sister. What did I do wrong?
Q. met a guy about a month ago. we spent a lot of time together, got along great. first time in a long time that I found someone worth trying for. everything was going so well that I thought naturally we should just take it to the next level, as there ...
A. 18 July 2015: Dear OP, I get the feeling that you are directing the anger about that mans behaviour towards yourself now. But I think there's not much wrong with what you did: You felt there's someone worth trying for. You tried. You felt it going nowhere so... (read in full...)
Am I being pressured into commitment by this guy?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for almost three months. He's in his early 30s. From the first time we went out he told me a bit about himself, he also mentioned to have been previously engaged. I am in my mid twenties and from that he said I should be ...
A. 17 July 2015: Dear OP,
I think some people are rather pragmatic when it comes to chosing a partner and that's fine, but it would be a huge turnoff for me. I am much more romantic than that and I need to feel that I am really desired as a woman, partner,... (read in full...)
If a woman asks you what is your type is, is she interested in you?
Q. Back at it again! It sucks to be a man and trying to figure out women. With that being said, if a woman asks you what your type is, is she interested in you? After I told her my type she said well i guess i'm your type right? And i asked why ...
A. 17 July 2015: Dear OP, I agree with the other agony aunts that you can only figure out one woman at a time.. because we're all different. The same applies to men and sometimes I also feel like I've got no clue about the other sex. But to answer your questi... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant. How do I tell the father of my child? We work together, but are not in a relationship together.
Q. I'm expecting my first child and I'm really excited about it. I have always wanted a child since I can remember, and when I found out I was pregnant I was over the moon. My problem is I'm not in a relationship with the father, and apart from a f...
A. 12 July 2015: Dear OP, I don't think there's a gentle approach, because this means a dramatic change of both your life and his. You should aknowledge that and not try to play it down. Your pregnancy will come as a huge shock to him. You didn't give him a ch... (read in full...)
After 8 months he still has not asked me out. Should I put up with an 80:20 friendship/crush?
Q. Ive been dealing with a guy for about 8 months and he still havent asked me out. Today i was frustrated and was wondering whats up so i told him i think i like him more than he likes me and he said i do like him more than he likes me and the perc...
A. 3 July 2015: Dear OP,
I think it was a smart and courageous thing to admit your feelings to him. And it's also a good thing he was being honest with you. It gives you the words you needed to hear in order to move on.
Because that's what you should do. ... (read in full...)
Had sex for the first time, scared I put the condom on wrong?
Q. Hi all, I recently had sex for the first time, but some thoughts keep surfacing from the back of my mind. I recently learned that it is possible to put a condom on inside out. By doing so, it is no longer effective. I didn't realize this was...
A. 2 July 2015: Dear OP
Your question awakened my scientific spirit!
So, after reading your post, I took two condoms out of my drawer and I tried to put one on my dildo the wrong way around. It's almost impossible to do it, because the fabric gets stuck all t... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my fetish for watching my lady with other men will ruin our relationship. She doesn't want to do this!
Q. Got a difficult question. I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years but we have different mentalities. She is set on monogamy and I have a bad fetish of watching her be intimate with other males. I don't mean different males every time, I ...
A. 1 July 2015: Dear OP,
I think the problem with your particular cuckold fetish is, that it seems you wouldn't be happy even if it came true.
Because, as it happened with her ex, what turns you on also makes you feel jealous, insecure, inferior etc. an... (read in full...)
Is there a way to only be interested in straight women, or am I cursed?
Q. So, I seem to have bad luck with women. I personally don't get along with the beliefs of someone who is LGBT, just because of my upbringing. Because of this, my friends and love interests are extremely limited. I have a single lesbian friend...
A. 1 July 2015: Dear OP, I think you are somehow struggling with yourself: On the one hand, you've put yourself in an outsider position by openly disapproving of LBGT people and their values. On the other hand, you seem to be very interested in girls that are l... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is in no rush to get a divorce or remarry. Should I worry?
Q. I am 32 and my boyfriend is 28 and we have been together for about 8 months. Once he gets enough money to pay for his divorce he will file it, since he hasn't seen his wife in like 2 years. They are over each other. He also has a child that he ...
A. 1 July 2015: Dear OP, You're together for only 8 months, so probably for the first half year, everything was about getting to know and love each other, and not really working on the long-term issues. But right now you realize that there may be some c... (read in full...)
How do I end things gently after 3 dates?
Q. First date - coffee and dancing. Second date - drinks, dancing, and kissing. Third date - (impressive) dinner at her place, and couch make out session. How do I end things gently as soon as possible? I'm 32 and she's 33. While I had fun o...
A. 29 June 2015: Dear OP,
End it the way you wish someone would end it with you in a similar situation. It will give you the best feeling.
There's no totally "gentle" way to reject someone, because the truth is, you like her less than she likes you. And t... (read in full...)
Do good-looking people stay single for longer?
Q. Is it true that good looking people will stay single for a longer time periods than 'average' looking people, because other people (who are more insecure) won't approach them thinking they won't stand a chance anyway? I read this in an article a ...
A. 16 June 2015: Dear OP,
I would like to think of it like that, as a proof of my beauty :)
But I think this theory is hard to prove scientifically. You'd have to have a valid way to measure peoples' beauty, and to also have a large sample of people and compa... (read in full...)
I am confused, sad and lost, and can't stop my tears!
Q. How can I Trust my partner wen he calls me frumpy and unattractive and ogles and says how he loves other women's bodies and faces . Yet I'm 5.2 and 50 ks and often am told I look lovely and even his friend was shocked wen he found out that I am 20 ...
A. 15 June 2015: Dear OP,
Just read your update and am really happy for you! You did the right thing! ... (read in full...)
Why do people offer remarks like "men are visual" as excuses to dismiss the feelings of those who take issue with objectification of women in pornography?
Q. Why do men expect women to be ok with being categories into body part in porn. Like big breast , small breast , big ass, skinny , young , old , black , white , Latino etc. The list goes on . Yet besides a reasonable sized penis , are men ever cat...
A. 14 June 2015: Dear OP,
We put people into categories in real life and also on the internet. By this, we make life and thinking easier. BUT: We also create stereotypes and over-simplify reality.
It can be very de-humanizing to do that, to see human beings... (read in full...)
How do I let this much older man know I'd love to date him?
Q. Awww I need some advice please! I have had a crush immature phrase but that's all it is right now. On a older man I know, 18 year gap. He works local to where I live. He first caught my eye as he is handsome and always dressed in a suite. Always ...
A. 12 June 2015: Dear OP,
I don't think you'll need much advice, just a little courage. If he likes you, there's no way you can screw it up. If he doesn't like you, there's no way you can save it, but at least you know where you stand. No matter what you do and h... (read in full...)
Can anyone offer any advice for a girl entering the dating scene for the first time?
Q. I'm 27yrs old, single, and partway through an epic weight loss battle. I've lost 100lbs, and while I still have 55lbs to lose I'm starting to think about relationships again and how I'm going to approach them once I reach my goal. I've been ov...
A. 12 June 2015: Dear OP, Oh, the dating scene. Thought I'd escaped that place but now I'm back there. I've managed my way through it for many years already, so here is my advice: 1) It's okay to want a partner that you love, trust and desire. Don't "lower" ... (read in full...)
Gym is packed most of the time, so how do I go up to him and start a conversation? Scared of rejection.
Q. Okay so I have been going consistently to the gym since january. Back when I was freshly single. I spotted someone very cute but I looked awful cause I go to work out not look at guys but something about this guy makes me want to go talk to him. ...
A. 12 June 2015: Dear OP, Maybe not approaching him by asking him out straight away, because that could make things awkward if you see him again at the gym. Instead, maybe you can ask him to show you a particular exercise that he does (while at the same time ... (read in full...)
Dealing with body issues, advice?
Q. Dear cupid, I could use some advice. I am a young woman who has been dealing with body issues. I was morbidly obese through out my entire teenage life. I was also diagnosed with a hormonal condition that makes me gain weight. Anyways, I am ve...
A. 12 June 2015: Dear OP, When I was 23, I didn't have a weight problem, but for sure deep down I was NOT outgoing, self-confident etc. etc., even if I tried to look like that. Looking back, there was a specific picture of me that I had, a person I wanted to... (read in full...)
Do you think I might still have a chance with him?
Q. I have a friend who I've known about four years. A few years ago he said he had feelings for me. I said I had previously liked him, but at that time i saw us more as just friends. We kept in touch very close, until I got into a relationship...
A. 12 June 2015: Dear OP,
Instead of answering your question if you still have a chance with him - would you WANT that chance?
I mean, so far your feelings have only been friendly. Do you think you could truly love him, as a partner? If he gave you his heart, w... (read in full...)
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