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Been away from the site for a while...but I felt like jumping back in. Hopefully my advice now is more helpful than it was a year ago! PM's, friend requests are all welcome.
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| Latest articles: Points to ponder on advise against teenage sex
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 March 2009: Out of curiosity, I was recently browsing through the advice I had given in the past 9 odd months I've been on this website. What struck me is how much "stern" I seem to be when giving advice to teenagers under 18 about sex. I frequently adv...
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I changed my mind about moving home; am I a horrible person?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. I moved 3000 miles away from my family to be with him. We live with his parents, and that has always been a little hard for me. Anyway, the living with his parents, my school starting to suck because of ...
A. 5 May 2010: No, it doesn't make you a horrible person, and in all honesty, I think your family will understand. You tell your family that you love them, that you'll always be there for them, like they have you, and you simply explain that would like to be with ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be this obsessed by my image?
Q. I think I got rejected in the past because I'm not very good-looking. I used to have a best friend whom some guys think, is pretty and they often talk to her with me, standing by her side, ignored. I have a huge issue about being ugly or looking ...
A. 2 May 2010: You don't need to trawl the net for beauty tips, as the most important things you can do are to make sure your personal hygiene is tip top, wear clean clothes and keep you hair nice and clean, coupled with a warm smile :-)
It's those aspects ... (read in full...)
Am I too short to be loved...???
Q. Hi Will women notice a good looking but only 5'8" guy? Will they find him handsome? Or is it too short for them?... I cant stop thinking about my height for months. I'm almost 20 so i wont grow up anymore, and ive never had a gf before, n...
A. 10 May 2009: Showing a female that you're comfortable with your own body will make a female more comfortable with your body as well.
If you're always thinking about or drawing attention to what you perceive as a problem with your body, other people will lik... (read in full...)
Buzzing in the ears from clubbing. Any advice?
Q. Everybody has had the experience of going out clubbing, and going home with a very loud ringing and buzzing in their ears, and it can last for half of the next day buzzing. Is there any advice or remedy that someone might know of to make the buzz...
A. 28 March 2009: Uncle Phil's right.
Maybe you could try looking at buying some ear filters instead of ear plugs; they're different from ear plugs in that they attenuate all frequencies evenly, so you still hear clearly, it'll just be a bit quieter, and the soun... (read in full...)
Opinions on women going braless
Q. Well I have been doing some research and I keep finding out that it has never been proven that bras help keep breast firm, or stop them from sagging. I've been thinking about this issue, and what bras mean in the bigger picture, and I just don't ...
A. 24 March 2009: Well, from a guy's perspective, some men won't be bothered, some will certainly stare to try to figure out if you're wearing a bra or not (men have a habit of staring at breasts...), and others will think it's hot...but virtually no man will think ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 & haven't had a proper boyfriend
Q. i'm 19 and i havn't had a proper boyfriend yet. i'm worried that i'm never going to find someone that really loves me! It doesnt help that my best friend is stunning can have whoever she wants. i got friends that are not that pretty or conf...
A. 15 March 2009: You said you want someone to love you, but then mentioned someone who is stunning and can have whoever she wants...they're two different things.
If you want someone to love you, your appearance won't be the sole reason why, if at all,...h... (read in full...)
Old friend just sort of blew me off and it hurts me
Q. Afternoon aunts and uncles. I recently found an old friend on facebook...we used to work together and got on really well. He now is living the dream and is in a band who are becoming successful. Im so happy for him but heres the problem...i wa...
A. 15 March 2009: There is a saying that goes "the more you do for someone, the less they appreciate you".
It could be because of that, or maybe he feels slightly awkward that the person who did so much has got back in touch and he feels a little embarras... (read in full...)
Creative ideas for asking him out?
Q. I need some creative date ideas for asking someone out, sounds easy right? One problem, he works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. I mean yes I admire the dedication and all but it makes stealing a couple hours of his time a little more difficult. I ...
A. 12 March 2009: You know...being too creative can actually make you look like a stalker or someone who is extremely creepy...
Planning creative stuff is better when you're actually in the relationship...when you're trying to start a relation... (read in full...)
I'm ready for sex but I don't like my body!
Q. hello (Im 14 and im still at school ) i have liked this boy for about 2 years now i told him last wednesday and he was like oh ok me and him had a fight on thursday he said sorry on friday and he gave me a long hug at break then he gave me a...
A. 28 February 2009: You are not ready for sex.
It's a terrible idea, and rather than boosting your confidence, it will more than likely further dent it.
Underage sex is absolutely, completely 100% not the experience that you may be expecting it to ... (read in full...)
I don't want him to know how inexperienced I am!
Q. I lied to the guy that I fancy, we had a quick snog, I wasn't very good (because I have never done it before), he stopped and asked me what was up, I just said that it had been a while and my last boyfriend wasn't very nice to me and it has made me ...
A. 27 February 2009: The simple answer is to tell him the truth.
There is absolutely no shame at all in being inexperienced...after all, weren't we all born inexperienced?
No-one came out of a womb having already perfected their intimacy and flirting ski... (read in full...)
Do I break up with my g/f and see the new girl?
Q. I have a fairly common question, but would like to know the answer for my specific question. I have been dating my girlfriend for a year. I have been attracted to her for 4 years and we were friends during that time as well. We both left for coll...
A. 27 February 2009: It would be unfair on anybody here to tell you explicitly what to do; you can only be your own best judge.
It's not unusual to find someone else and to be attracted to them in some way; especially when you never see your current girlfrie... (read in full...)
Could she be pregnant even with us using a condom?
Q. hi to all of you out there. well me and my g/f had sex on the 24th and we used a brand new condom and i came inside her with the condom on my penis. could she be pregnant even thought the condom didnt break or it didnt have any leakage. this morning ...
A. 27 February 2009: Well, while being sick and enlarged breasts are signs of pregnancy, if you're certain there was no leakage or break then it could be a psychological effect...some women "feel" pregnant after sex and exert some effects thus... but if there was no ... (read in full...)
Could she be pregnant from dry humping
Q. Ok, me and my girl friend were dry humping. When I came, the seamon went through my pants(like over the waist part thing). And it got onto her tights, and onto her panties as well. She went to the bathroom and removed the tights and underwear af...
A. 27 February 2009: Feeling sick, dizzy, tingling in the breasts are usual signs, although it's different with every woman.
It's still unlikely she's pregnant, and it could her subconscious is at work, and if she believes that she feels tired, then she is. Some... (read in full...)
Could she be pregnant from dry humping
Q. Ok, me and my girl friend were dry humping. When I came, the seamon went through my pants(like over the waist part thing). And it got onto her tights, and onto her panties as well. She went to the bathroom and removed the tights and underwear af...
A. 27 February 2009: It's unlikely, although it depends on how porous the tights/pants were.
That said, a bloody nose is sometimes common during pregnancy, although I'm not sure it would happen this early...maybe it's just a badly timed coincidence.
But ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I am not obsessed with sex?
Q. hey everyone, ive got a question. well, im 16 going on 17, i have a lot of friends, guys and girls, and were all pretty much open about everything, homosexuality, sex etc. well im just wondering, everyone around me is soo obsessed with sex, guys a...
A. 27 February 2009: No it's not weird.
You've got your late teens until the day you die to start enjoying sex and drinking, should they be activities that you decide to partake in.
And if you don't, well that's your choice and there's nothing wrong wi... (read in full...)
I want to have sex at 13, what do you advise?
Q. im am 13 and i really want to have sex i just dont have anyone to do it with! who can i go to?...
A. 26 February 2009: "i just don't have anyone to do it with"
Well that's good news then.
Underage sex is a terrible idea, and is absolutely, 100% guaranteed not to be the experience you are probably expecting it to be.
I agree that you should perhaps ... (read in full...)
I don't want my sister to watch porn, what can be done?
Q. i caught my sister watching porn and masturbating !! she is 15. it has shook me inside and i cant see it happening and leave this matter though i understand its normal.what should i do about it ??? i dont know why but i dont want her to do it. ...
A. 26 February 2009: You don't do anything....it's simply none of your business.
Masturbating is extremely common amongst both genders of all ages; it is simply not your decision to decide whether she is allowed to masturbate or not.
Leave her be.... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a healthy guy of 21 to be this disinterested in sex, or is it just me?
Q. hi, me and my boyfriend are both 21 but have very different sex drives. I want sex pretty much every day, and I recon if pushed, he would want it once a fortnight (which sucks, because he is awesome). I'm well aware I'm very difficult to ple...
A. 22 February 2009: You can only be your own best judge, but if you feel he doesn't want sex more frequently and the erection issue is part of a reason he's not telling you, then I think you do need to be a blunt and make sure that you do talk about it to find out ... (read in full...)
36A breasts, how can I make them look sexier and womanly?
Q. Hello again everyone, i have a bit of a query. okays i have 36a breasts and i was wondering about ways to make them look sexier and more womanly, just to make me feel better about myself, i always thought they were huge when i was growing up but now ...
A. 22 February 2009: Hi there....you shouldn't have to lose all of your confidence because of the perception of your own breasts.
After all, they're only breasts. And they will only be seen "in the flesh" by hopefully only a few -- maybe even just one -- s... (read in full...)
My online man's advances are so sexual, how do I tell him that he's turning me off?
Q. i've been chatting to this guy over the last 3-4 months, he seems really nice, we just talk about school, family, parting the future.... recently he's started asking to see me on webcam (i havn't let in, yet) i kinda wanna do it because i feel like ...
A. 22 February 2009: Alarm bells start ringing right about now.
Who is he? Have you met him personally? Are you sure is he who he says he is? Age? Dangerous people lurk on the internet.
Or maybe I'm getting it all wrong and this "guy" is the same age as ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a healthy guy of 21 to be this disinterested in sex, or is it just me?
Q. hi, me and my boyfriend are both 21 but have very different sex drives. I want sex pretty much every day, and I recon if pushed, he would want it once a fortnight (which sucks, because he is awesome). I'm well aware I'm very difficult to ple...
A. 22 February 2009: "Normal" is a vague word.
Men and women of all ages can have completely different sex drives, high or low, so don't think of it as a "normal" issue.
Usually erectile loss that can be down to health, but you say he's healthy, so that... (read in full...)
WHY does sex hurt the first few times if we're meant to reproduce?
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl and don't plan on having sex anytime soon but I was wondering - why does it hurt the first few times you have sex, either when you lose your virginity or when having sex with a new partner? Our bodies are pretty much created ...
A. 22 February 2009: I can see your point of view.
My knowledge of America isn't too great, but isn't cheerleading considered an important or iconic sport/activity?
It's much in the same way that hockey is a big part of sport I suspect...probab... (read in full...)
I need help in asking a girl out.
Q. I am 17 and I have liked this girl for a real long time... anyway I have never been able to muster the guts to do anything, I think she does know that I like her but I am not sure. Does anyone know what I should do?...
A. 22 February 2009: I'm not insulting you (you started being sarcastic with me first) but come on, after suggesting asking her to do something together, hanging out together, writing her a note, sending her a text or writing her an e-mail to give you an opportunity to ... (read in full...)
WHY does sex hurt the first few times if we're meant to reproduce?
Q. I'm a 13 year old girl and don't plan on having sex anytime soon but I was wondering - why does it hurt the first few times you have sex, either when you lose your virginity or when having sex with a new partner? Our bodies are pretty much created ...
A. 21 February 2009: ArmyMedic is completely right, so now we can go on to the point of your parents.
You can only be your own best judge, but it's mightily common for teenagers to be convinced that their parents dislike them in some form -- although hate is a str... (read in full...)
I need help in asking a girl out.
Q. I am 17 and I have liked this girl for a real long time... anyway I have never been able to muster the guts to do anything, I think she does know that I like her but I am not sure. Does anyone know what I should do?...
A. 21 February 2009: Well what else you going to do then?
If you're not going to grow some balls and ask her out or ask her to do something with you, then why are you hoping to do...use clairvoyancy or something?
Try writing her a note, text or e-mail o... (read in full...)
I need help in asking a girl out.
Q. I am 17 and I have liked this girl for a real long time... anyway I have never been able to muster the guts to do anything, I think she does know that I like her but I am not sure. Does anyone know what I should do?...
A. 21 February 2009: Well you don't have to go up to her professing endless love for her or anything like that...you just go up to her and ask her if she wants to do something sociable like grab some lunch or go and hang out or something. If she says yes then you can ... (read in full...)
I love him even though we're 5 years apart... is it right?
Q. I have the most amazing boyfriend, but I'm sure you've heard that before. Anyways, I've never felt so happy before. I love him so much. Too bad my mother doesn't let me date. And the fact that he's 20 and I'm 15 becomes a problem. He promised...
A. 21 February 2009: Teenage dating is always a grey area. A 5 year age gap is completely no problem when both the people in question are, say, 20+, but in your teens it's a bit more complicated.
Specifically between the ages of 16 and 21, you grow up ... (read in full...)
Lesbian verses Penis
Q. I've been attached to women for as long as I can remember. The past 4 years I've only been dating women and can only picture myself with a woman... but the only way I get off is to think about penis or use a dildo! My current girlfriend of over a ...
A. 21 February 2009: "sometimes I crave sex with a man."
If that is simply because a man has a penis, then there are certainly workarounds that you can incorporate into your sex life with your girlfriend...your girlfriend could wear a strap on dildo to penetrat... (read in full...)
Do we always have hope that things will turn out good at the end?
Q. Do we always have hope that things will turn out good at the end? What if there isn't, because your life is a proof that it is just going bad with no breaks? Where do you get hope, if you don't see it in work? Do we all get saved? Or some o...
A. 21 February 2009: No-one said things will always work out for us...people usually have to work things out for themselves.
You get out of life what you put it...put nothing in, and you'll most likely get nothing out with nothing to hope for.
Put things... (read in full...)
I'm dieting and exercising, why am I not losing more weight?
Q. i have recently begun a diet. weightwatchers to be precise. i dont go to any meetings as i cant afford this but i have the newest book and have researched alot into it. i am 5ft2 and at the beginning i weighed 11st10pounds. which i know is very ove...
A. 18 February 2009: You should try going swimming regularly...swimming is one of the best things you can do to lose weight consistently, as it's a type of exercise that most people enjoy....not a lot of people enjoy using an exercise bike!
If you don't enjoy sw... (read in full...)
I'm freaking out after my horrible sex experience with my BF, can you help me?
Q. So i'm seventeen and my boyfriend and i had sex last night as a late valentines day present and now i'm freaking out. Well my boyfriend kind of pressured me into having sex at this camping trip and he didnt stop when i told him to stop being so ...
A. 18 February 2009: loving arms is right...that guy sounds like right piece of work.
You should never have to be pressured into sex...and he has no right to be rough on you when you specifically told him not to be.
Were you using contraception? I... (read in full...)
Could I have had an orgasm?
Q. hi i am a 18 year old girl. i just wanted to know what a orgasm feels like i cant say that i have had one one before but really what am i to expect to feel in my vagina and my body. i have tried masturbating i felt a bit of tingeing in my vagina but ...
A. 18 February 2009: Yes, you will certainly know what an orgasm feels like when you have one...
Sometimes it take more than just exploring though, it takes hard work and time. Many women (and men incidentally) go through life without experiencing one.
Do... (read in full...)
I am leaving in 3 months. Is opening up worth it?
Q. Hello, Ok. the problem is simple. I miss my ex, but I do not love him, if it makes sense. I miss our moments and I wish me and my bf had those momenst too. (we've been together for almost 4 months) not exactly the same, but that things were similar....
A. 18 February 2009: With the mentality of most men, if you tell him about your ex then it will likely have completely the opposite effect to the one you're imagining.
Most men will instantly feel that he is having to compete with your ex, and that makes it feel ... (read in full...)
What is wrong with me why can't I get a guy?
Q. I'm a 25 year old girl and I really need help. I have really "bad luck" with dating. I never dated in high school, the only date I've ever been on was when I was 21. This guy treated me horribly - he said he was desperate for sex and then ...
A. 14 December 2008: Firstly, nothing is wrong with you. What you are doing wrong though is thinking and dwelling on things far too much.
It is more common than not that someone actually meets their perfect partner when they aren't really looking. You are ... (read in full...)
My imaginary guy!
Q. Hello, Am I completely insane/ loosing it/ marbles gone missing... to get over the guy that I love I made an imaginary guy up in my head to replace him. It's actually helping me not to think of the guy I love, but I get worried... am I gettin...
A. 14 December 2008: I'd say that by posting here you realise that you've gone a bit too far with your daydreaming, and it's bordering on tipping over...
Getting over people is hard; and there's nothing wrong with imagination. But I think yo... (read in full...)
Why are all these teenagers talking about their sex lives on here?
Q. Is anyone else here fed up - and worried for - all the under-aged girls who come here, desperate for answers about how to solve their problems with their boyfriend who is 10 years older than them? I mean, a lot of these girls are 15 years or ...
A. 14 December 2008: Yeah, the education system could do a better job about teaching teens about self respect; the dangers of STI's; the dangers of dating older men/women; and teaching them the power to say no.
But in the UK it seems topics such as quadrati... (read in full...)
Went To Uni, Didn't Enjoy The Following Job, Now Where Do I Go? I'm Lost...
Q. I did my A Levels and went to University after school, thinking I really wanted to go into one industry. I did for a few years, but really didn't enjoy it, Uni did NOT prepare me for the real world. So I left, and felt totally lost for quite s...
A. 13 December 2008: 22-25? You're still plenty young, and have so much time ahead of you.
No-one can tell you where to go or what you will enjoy doing -- that is up to you to decide -- but that doesn't mean you can't explore various activities.
... (read in full...)
Will my new routine lower or heighten my metabolism?
Q. I'm going on a diet and I was wondering if I only eat half a vitamin in the morning instead of breakfast and I have lunch and dinner and exercise like usually will that lower or heighten my metabolism? Will it make me retain more weight?...
A. 5 November 2008: There isn't much you can do about your metabolism either to raise it or to lower it...other than be aware that it will drop as you get older.
If you are planning a diet, it wouldn't be a bad idea to see a GP to help plan one for you...it... (read in full...)
I am fourteen, and I masturbate every day, is this normal?
Q. Hi im 14 years old and i masturbate everyday. I was wondering if its normal. For some reason im always dreaming and thinking on watching my classmates naked. Is this normal?...
A. 5 November 2008: Millions of men masturbate every day...sometimes more than once a day.
Thinking or dreaming of other people is common as well.
Relax.... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend struggle to get an erection? Is he impotent? Should he see a doctor?
Q. Hi there, im abit worried about my boyfriend. He finds it very hard to get or keep an erection. He was a virgin before we got together so at first i thought it might be down to nerves, but we have been together a year now so i know that its no...
A. 3 November 2008: "struggles to get an erection" You say he's not nervous, but actually that statement implies that he is...it could be stress, if he tries to get an erection but still can't, then he is going to become a little stressed, which won't make it an... (read in full...)
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