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... Send *asquerade711 a private message | | | *asquerade711's profile:You can call me masq.
I don't have a psychology degree, but I love people, and I believe I have been through my life experiences for two reasons: a) to make me stronger; b) to help others struggling through the same things.
I specialize in relationship advice, as well as weight loss/fitness/general health and wellness. I am a registered massage therapist and a certified Reiki II practitioner, specializing in aura/energy work.
I am a wife to the kindest, gentlest, sexiest man I've ever met, a daughter to the best parents in the world, and a big sister to the greatest little sister a girl could ask for.
See you on the flip side...
masq |
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| Latest articles: How to Know You ARE Protected
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: Throughout the time I've spent here at DearCupid, I've seen many questions regarding sex, birth control, pregnancy scares, STIs, and the like. I've spent the past week doing a lot of research, and have finally come up with some things that will ...
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Why can't I find someone to date?
Q. So about 2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend. It has been my most meaningful relationship to date, because we lived together. At first it was all a dream. I was crazy in love, we had the chemistry that only happens in movies. And I felt loved ...
A. 4 October 2016: Darling, you've already hit the nail on the head.
No one can love you until you love yourself. And unfortunately, no one can really tell you HOW to love yourself, because the "how" is different for everyone.
I went through things that are so simil... (read in full...)
I wish my boyfriend, a personal trainer, wasn’t so friendly flirty polite with his female clients!
Q. I get really jealous (but keep it mostly inside!), I'm just wondering how to get over being jealous of my fiances clients? He's a personal trainer and some of his female clients flirt with him and I get so filled with anger! He's friendly flirty ...
A. 30 August 2016: You've said yourself that he is polite to them, which he has to be, because that's just good customer service! There's no way to stop them flirting. That's their deal, and if they know he's engaged, that's their damage as well. As long as he's ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but still love my ex boyfriend!
Q. I have always had boyfriends but I am now living with my partner of a year who is a woman. I love her so much and trust her implicitly, she is so good for me and is honestly one of the most amazing and beautiful people I've ever met, she is perfect. ...
A. 30 August 2016: It sounds like you never got any closure with your ex-boyfriend. This is most likely what makes your current predicament so hard, because you'll always wonder "what if" and what could've been.
You broke up with him for a very good reason, it sound... (read in full...)
I've had sex with many men and I'm afraid of what my future husband will think?
Q. I had an intimate relationship with many boys when I was 19-20 years old. Im really upset with what I had done. And I'm scared that what would happen if in the future my husband would get to know about my bad body figure. Please help me?...
A. 30 August 2016: The right man will love and accept you for who you are right now, not who you were or what you've done before. Your past experiences are part of what make you who you are. You've learned lessons and figured out what you want, and that's something to ... (read in full...)
Should I stop the jealous rage?
Q. Im in a relationship with a man who has been in a twenty yr relationship ...When we first met he told me about her. I am 43 and he is 65 yrs of age.Besides the fact of the relationship he is in.. He treats me so kind.. upmost respect ..supports me ...
A. 4 October 2013: Let's recap.
You are dating a man who is already in another committed relationship. Whether he's unhappy or not, he's still with her. To add insult to injury, she is sick with a potentially life-threatening disease and he's sneaking around o... (read in full...)
Would it be crazy to move in together right away? Or when and how would be right?
Q. A few months ago I moved because of a job opportunity. The job was for 6 months originally, so I rented a place for just the 6 months. I was offered to continue at the job, which is great. But I still need to move in a few months because my current ...
A. 6 April 2013: If your boyfriend is hesitant about moving in together, I don't think it's safe to press the issue. I understand budgets need to be followed, and that moving is a pain, but if you're going to live together both of you need to be comfortable with ... (read in full...)
Its hard to Trust when Temptation is always present along with opportunity.
Q. I am a man that can admit that I have such a hard time trusting women. I am afraid of being lied to, cheated on, and used for my gentlemanly, respectful, and generous ways. I have a woman (fiance)that is very beautiful and she is has a large set ...
A. 26 April 2012: Here's the key thing to remember. You asked her to marry you and she said YES!
Unfortunately, you can't control how other men interact with her, or how she reacts in turn to them. I think what you need to do is try to have some trust in your rel... (read in full...)
He wants pictures of my private bits, what should I do?
Q. I talked to this guy once on the phone, i'm not sure how old he is, he is divorced and has a daughter that lives with his ex and he sees his daughter on the weekends. we chatted a little bit and he wants me to send pictures of my breasts and my ...
A. 9 January 2012: The only plan he probably has for those pictures is masturbating to them a few times before he moves on to another girl and asks her for the same kinds of pictures. You need to be extremely careful about who you share this stuff with, because once ... (read in full...)
My messy housemates aren't helping with the cockroach invasion!
Q. I live with two messy lazy men. Recently they have begun to clean up around the kitchen a bit more, but they are still leaving dishes in the sink, crumbs on the counters and floors, and I'm still finding (and cleaning) sticky nasty spills off of ...
A. 8 January 2012: The first question would be, are you the only one listed on the lease/rental agreement? If so, simply make a demand to them (in writing) that they can either:
a) clean up after themselves (and outline what that looks like, because men are pretty c... (read in full...)
I am buying new home and the mortgage lender advised that my name does NOT go on the mortgage!!! Why?!?
Q. Mortgage lender told my hubby to NOT put my name on the title of the home, just put it in his will. That does not sound right, is this normal advice? So once again, we are having relationship problems when I thought we had worked it all out. Wh...
A. 24 October 2011: I'm not sure on the exact legalities of it in the US, but in Canada, if you are married to someone and they own a house, the house legally belongs to you as well automatically. I would suggest talking to another mortgage lender. This doesn't sou... (read in full...)
I was sexting another man behind my husband's back and now he has found out....how do I make this right?
Q. I am a happily married woman with two beautiful children. I became overweight after having my kids and have always had selfesteem issues. Although people constantly tell me I have such a pretty face I struggle with body image. Recently a man at work ...
A. 22 July 2011: I've gone through this before myself, so I know how you must feel right now.
The way my boyfriend looked at it when he found out was, "Does this upset me? Yes. I don't want you to even fantasize that you're with another man. I want to be enough t... (read in full...)
He keeps wanting to take a break from the relationship. I want to either be with him or get over him! Can someone shed some light on his behaviour?
Q. ive been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2 months and he told me on the 5th he wanted a brake. so after alot of talking we took a brake for about 5 hours then he asked me back. i said yes and asked y he wanted the brake and he said to see if ...
A. 11 July 2011: I've never really believed in the whole concept of "taking a break" in a relationship, to be honest. People come up with numerous reasons why this would be a good idea, but in my mind they're all crap. It seems to me like this guy is jerking you ... (read in full...)
Will I end up lonely ? Should I lower my standards ?
Q. I think I am the most complicated person ever! I'm 25 but have been though more in my life them most people twice my age. Thing is I'm terribly lonely but I have huge issues that stop me finding anyone. I'm a lesbian, I'm more feminine then most ...
A. 8 July 2011: First off, you are not a misfit! So you're not like everyone else. So you don't fit the so-called "norm". Normal is boring! You can only be yourself, because everyone else is taken. Please remember that. :)
Second, you can't help who/what you are ... (read in full...)
I like my sisters potential boyfriend but I don't know what I should do..
Q. So my sister likes this guy who is my age. Shes only a year younger. Were both in high school but go to different schools so i've never met him. She told me a lot about him and from what I heard he was definitly my type. We like the same music, same ...
A. 8 July 2011: You need to talk to your sister about this. In saying that, I think you're really close to crossing a line here. In my opinion, you NEVER, under ANY circumstance, go after a guy that your sister was with/liked/almost went out with, etc. Or any ... (read in full...)
Is there any point to dating and relationships if you are infertile?
Q. My partners ex, was fertile and had children for my partner. I am infertile and cannot have any children. My partner seems okay with this, but his mother told me that I should do the right thing and leave him, so he can have a family and be happy ...
A. 7 July 2011: Never in my life have I heard a more sad, untrue statement. One of our main purposes in life IS to procreate, but for some people this is just not possible. Does that make these people useless? ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Just because you can't have your own... (read in full...)
Questions about dating, religion and kissing.....
Q. Ok here we go, first of all ive met this guy but the problem is im totally in love with him but i cant be with him even though i want to... this is because i am christian and in our religion we only date others in our religion? anyway i really ...
A. 6 July 2011: This logic is a little bit flawed...
I'm a Christian too, and there is no "law" that says Christians have to date other Christians. There is simply a teaching that talks about being "unequally yoked", meaning that if you're a devout Christia... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble trying to figure out where I am with this girl!
Q. I'm chinese but immigrated overseas when I was a child. I grew up and have become assimilated. About a year and a half ago I went back to china for a family matter. There I was introduced by a family friend to a girl. It turned out that she ha...
A. 6 July 2011: From what you're describing, this sounds like some minor game-playing. She has essentially admitted to you that the way she and her friends approach relationships is to appear completely disinterested. This seems less than ideal to me. Do you really ... (read in full...)
Three weeks since the break up, is it too early to date a new guy?
Q. Hmm so this is the situation. I recently broke up with my bf...we'd been together for nearly 2 years..(22 months to be precise). I was the one who called it off...it was going no where, we were making each other miserable... So its been abou...
A. 25 June 2011: This is a tough question for me to answer. On the one hand, only you will know when you're ready to start dating again. Nobody can really give you a definitive answer or tell you that it's too soon.
On the other hand, it's incredibly unhealth... (read in full...)
Weightloss - does it affect your breasts first???
Q. Is it true when a female loses weight the first place she loses it is her breasts!?! Because that's what my mum said her trainer told her... And i've lost weight and been measured and my breasts have reduced by an inch already? It's annoying me, i ...
A. 13 June 2011: First of all, every woman is different, and will lose weight differently based on your hormone balances. An important thing to understand is that your breasts are made up of a large amount of fat, so it's not entirely unheard of to lose weight in ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy is interested or not?
Q. Hi, there is this guy I am madly crazy about and today I kind of tried to make a move? Well, more like my friend tried to do it for me because I was too shy to ask. Any who, recently I've been getting mixed signals from this guy. I would receive ...
A. 31 May 2011: Honestly, I think you may be reading too much into it. Reading signals, passing notes...a lot of guys view that as playing games, and I've never met a guy who likes that.
Best thing to do? Just ask him! Point blank. Walk up to him, make a little s... (read in full...)
Is it wrong of me changing my mind about marrying my girlfriend?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, in this time she's had severe drug problems and has cheated on me three times, I love her. but now she wants a commitment and wants us to get married, I said Yes initially after we got back together but I ...
A. 4 May 2011: First off, I think you are perfectly justified in feeling the way that you feel. Your significant other should not ask you to give up your friends for them, unless the friendship wasn't good for you. But clearly, it looks like you NEED your friends ... (read in full...)
Is he hiding me from other people, or is he the one hiding something?
Q. hi i've been seeing my man for 9 months now but he wont tell his family about me or meet up with any of mine, including my older children who dont live with me. He's met my youngest whose still at home and they get on well together but wants to...
A. 20 April 2011: Everything about this situation screams LIAR to me. Something is clearly going on here. If you've been together THAT long and you still haven't met anyone in his life, I would be concerned. It's one thing if everyone in his life lives quite far ... (read in full...)
How can I lose weight on my limited food options and budget?
Q. I am aware this is not a diet or healthy eating site but I need help. I quite literally have no money anymore (don't ask long story), I cant afford to buy my own food and drink so I have to eat whats available at home. Which isn't much, we h...
A. 19 April 2011: Oh, and just a disclaimer. The calorie amounts below are intended for this individual only, based on her current weight, goal weight and height provided in the question.... (read in full...)
How can I lose weight on my limited food options and budget?
Q. I am aware this is not a diet or healthy eating site but I need help. I quite literally have no money anymore (don't ask long story), I cant afford to buy my own food and drink so I have to eat whats available at home. Which isn't much, we h...
A. 19 April 2011: Weight loss comes down to calories in, calories out. You should be eating between 1,200-1,400 calories per day, so I wouldn't worry so much about WHAT you're eating at this point, since you don't have many options. I would just count calories ... (read in full...)
How to make a graceful, regret-free exit?
Q. I'm leaving the small town I grew up in a few months from now. I've done a lot of things I regret in this town, and they've been on my mind a lot lately. I want to move to the city with a clean slate. Any advice on how to psych myself into jus...
A. 13 April 2011: This is the best thing that I can suggest to you. I've had to do this myself, and trust me, if you put the right amount of thought and effort into it, it WILL work.
Pick your favourite spot in your town. Maybe it's a park, maybe it's a trail, m... (read in full...)
How do I overcome my shyness about sex?
Q. I love sex; sweet, romantic, dirty, kinky, I like it all, especially with my current boyfriend, who treats me like a queen and never disappoints me in bed. You'd think that wouldn't be a problem, but I'm shy, so it's always him who initiates ...
A. 13 April 2011: Well my dear, if he treats you like a queen and you enjoy having sex with him, what guy wouldn't want to hear that? Think about it, that would be a little absurd. "Oh honey, I LOVE having sex with you!" And then he replies with, "What? How stupid!" ... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend gave me herpes, how do I tell him?
Q. My ex boyfriend gave me an STD - Herpes to be exact and I'm scared to tell him. I'm worried he won't believe me because he got tested and came out clean. But the only thing is that he took my virginity and now I have herpes? How do I tell him he ...
A. 27 February 2011: I hate to play the disbelief card, but how do you know that he was tested? Did you go with him, or possibly see the test results yourself? I wouldn't outright accuse him of lying, but the evidence is right there on your skin that something is ... (read in full...)
My parents don't think he's good enough for me. How do I approach this?
Q. Ok - my b/f and I have been dating a little over 4 years, we met in college. We've already decided that we want to marry, but we're not ready yet because of our job situation. Since graduating, I have returned home and am living with my parents. I'm ...
A. 17 February 2011: I can relate pretty well to your situation. Maybe I can explain what I went through and that might help you with this.
You need to ask yourself a couple of questions, and be very honest about what the answer is.
1. Is he TRYING his best in what... (read in full...)
I can't feel him unless he goes fast or I'm on top! Any advice?
Q. Well Me and my boyfriend have been together for sometime and we just started to get sexually active. About a month ago he took my virginity and ever since then we been having sex but when he goes inside me I can't feel him and it's not small. So i ...
A. 27 January 2011: If this is a concern you may want to speak to your doctor or gyno about it. We're not doctors and it's hard to determine what could be causing this.
Some tips to improve your own sensitivity...have you ever done Kegel exercises? They're great be... (read in full...)
I need advice to cope with my sexting obsessed boyfriend. How have others coped with this problem?
Q. I need help. My boyfriend is obsessed with sexting other girls. I have caught him twice doing it with the same girl. He swears that nothing is going on between them, but I find it hard to believe. When I confront him about it he just keeps sayi...
A. 27 January 2011: You've received some awesome advice so far. I'd just like to add to it.
What he's doing is having an emotional affair with these girls. Sure, maybe he's not physically doing anything with them, but he's thinking of them and picturing them in a way... (read in full...)
I felt something was wrong so I looked at his phone, he does not know this, what do I do?
Q. recently my husband went on a trip with the boys. which he often does. I have always had great trust in our relationship. He called and texted everyday to check in. Upon returned, he asked if the washing machine was empty while he was still in ...
A. 24 August 2010: Well, you are in a bit of a predicament now. For one, the messages that you saw are pretty tough to decipher without knowing the context of the situation. And for another, what if this situation turns out to be nothing? Then you've broken the trust ... (read in full...)
She keeps running from me to other guys and back again. What do I do?
Q. A girl and myself started dating 4 years ago. We dated for 3 years and I decided to propose, I did and she accepted. She had became my the beat friend i had ever had and def wanted to spend my life with her. However 3 months after I proposed I found ...
A. 10 July 2010: CaringGuy hit the nail on the head. I agree 200%.
If you want to always be there for her, you have to be ok with the following things:
a) She will never fully commit to you. There will always be another guy knocking on her door, and she wi... (read in full...)
What has changed with online dating?
Q. Besides becoming more popular, has online dating changed somehow over the last 3 years? I've done the online dating thing on and off for a few years and if I was interested in my dates had about a 25% success ratio, meaning multiple dates, ...
A. 10 July 2010: Actually, I have the same problem that you're describing. Sometimes I don't even get to a first date, we never get past the initial small talk online.
You don't say which dating site you're trying, but I would suggest eHarmony, if you're looking ... (read in full...)
I've never had a girlfriend and this affects my confidence. What can I do to improve it?
Q. Nowadays, everywhere you look the media displays sex, and for me it doesn't do well for my esteem which is already low. What I mean is that I feel frustrated and inadequate; tv especially presents sex as a thing that only the popular and the ...
A. 7 July 2010: One thing you should definitely remember is that TV is NOT reality. The fact is, a lot of people brag about having sex when really, they're just as clueless as the next guy. You seem like a very articulate person, very smart and intelligent, so ... (read in full...)
Why do a lot of older people think that teenagers don't know what true love is?
Q. Hey i was wondering why do not all, but alot of older people think that teenagers dont know what true love is? and that it wont work out in the end? Because my boyfriend asked me to marry him, I said yes. I am 17 and my boyfriend is about 7 months ...
A. 20 May 2010: Even though I'm 22, I pride myself on not quite being "grown up" yet. :P
From what you describe, the two of you seem pretty solid in your relationship, and it's good that you're putting a plan in place. Perhaps what you need to do to prove th... (read in full...)
Does she actually love me, and only dumped me because of what she was going through?
Q. okay. this might take a while. soooo. i been with this girl for a year. we have been on and off not down to me. the first time she dumped me she gave me no real answers as to why, it took a while to get back together and then we did and eve...
A. 20 May 2010: Sadly, I have been that girl. Let me tell you my story, and hopefully you'll be able to find an answer.
I met my now ex-boyfriend a couple of years ago. We fell in love right away, and had this very intense relationship. But as it progress... (read in full...)
This has made me question my sexual preferences!
Q. Hi i'm in a bit of a dilemma, i'm 17 years old and female and i can't stop obsessing over this thing that happened. Well one day i went over to my friends house like just to see how she was cus she had been ill the past couple of days. As i went in ...
A. 20 May 2010: Just because you saw her masturbating and were turned on does not mean you are a lesbian.
Are you having these thoughts about any other woman, or just her? Sometimes the love we have for our best friends can translate into a sexual love, or make ... (read in full...)
My husband seems to have taken a fancy to my breast milk!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 5 years and have a 4 month old son. My husband has always been a "boob man". And could spend hours of forplay on my boobs. Normally it doesn't bother me but lately he has tried a new thing and it worries me. A ...
A. 21 January 2010: I have to be honest, I'm not married and never have been, so I'm far from a marriage expert, but I think the key in ANY good relationship is honesty. If this bothers you, you have every right to be able to communicate that with him and not have him ... (read in full...)
The boys in my class all pick on people and I'm worried about being the center of attention. what should I do?
Q. I havea gym class with all boys. In this classes boys pick and talk about people. Everyday I get so nervous that I may be the center of attention or being the one talked about or picked on. I get so nervous that I start shaking and lose focus on my ...
A. 1 November 2009: The best line of defence against bullies is totally self-confidence. Remember: bullies bully because they're insecure in themselves. They figure that if they point at you, no one will see through them. Even if you're FAR from confident in yourself, ... (read in full...)
Could a woman please translate what she's telling me here?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for about 9 months and have grown to love her alot. We are opposites in some ways ( I'm a yuppie. She's a hippie) but our core values are the same. We both adore animals. We both love cooking and baking. We both see ...
A. 7 October 2009: My answer may sound a bit pessimistic, and I don't mean to, I'm just speaking from personal experience here.
An answer as vague as that one tells me that she is simply not into the relationship anymore, but feels bad telling you that, so she's us... (read in full...)
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