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... Send *ildeesbg a private message | | *ildeesbg's profile:Hi Readers
My name is Danielle and I am 25 years old. I have graduated from college with a BA in psychology and am currently in graduate school for my Masters in mental health counseling. Overall,
I am extremely down to earth and I love to have a good time enjoying the positive things in life.
My approach to responding to peoples questions is to help them see something their overlooking. In order to do so I might ask them questions that they would have to be truthful answering. Most people deep down know the right thing to do or say but their scared to be honest with themselves because fear or letting go of someone or realizing something isnt right can be scary. If we are truthful with ourselves then a positive change can occur.
I believe that communication is extremely important. That is why many of my responses suggest people to talk with the person or persons their having issues with. If you speak about your problems then you can have a more indepth sense of what the other person is feeling. I always suggest that communication comes first before any action is taken.
Overall, I feel this site is wonderful because people can get different aspects of their situation.
Feel free to contact me anytime =)just bare with me because sometimes it takes a little while for me to respond due to school work |
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Latest articles: Fear Of The Unknown
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 October 2007: "You never realize what you have until its gone" Such a powerful quote, for people who have experienced this type of loss. Think about it, having something so good that you cant even appreciate it until its no longer there. Dont you think that is ...
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I work with my ex-boyfriend's new fiancée and hearing about their perfect life together is painful for me
Q. Me and my teenage sweetheart were together for 5 years when he broke up with me by text. Although we have been apart 2 years i really miss him. To make matters worse i work with his new girlfriend on a daily basis and he has just asked her to marry...
A. 29 December 2013: It must be really hard waking up every morning five days a week to go to place that your ex-boyfriend fiancé works. Your feelings are normal and natural. I am sure what does not help the situation is that you are not quite settled in your love ... (read in full...)
I have never felt very confident in my body
Q. I have recently starting seeing this bloke and he is always very touchy feely and wanting more than just a kiss. My problem is that I have never felt very confident in my body and I don't mind touching with clothes on but I hate it when he touc...
A. 26 March 2009: It does not seem silly or immature, many people suffer from body image problems. So dont feel like you are along. Unfortunately, society highlights a certain type of body figures, especially for women. Something you should take stock in know... (read in full...)
Complete Ridiculousness
Q. This is completely and utterly ridiculous- trust me I know that. But after about 18 months of the single life I've completely surprised myself and developed feelings for someone. Only problem being he's not remotely interested! I met him last wee...
A. 26 March 2009: I think you are being very hard on yourself. There are times when people put up this wall and someone, somehow gets through it. Maybe you are ready to open up alittle more with the opposite sex. I think you need to explore why you are so angry at ... (read in full...)
Does my teacher like me or is it me??? :D
Q. i am in high school and i think my algebra teacher likes me. he is not married and he told the class that he does not have a girl friend. he always stares at me and flirts with me. i think he is like 46 and i am 17. one time i was sitting next 2 my...
A. 26 March 2009: I think you should listen to your instincts, and if it is telling you that this teacher is coming on to you, than you may be right. Some of his comments do seem weird, and inappropriate to be saying to his 17 year old student. If you feel ... (read in full...)
My GF has been haunted by her fathers sexual abuse, how can I help her?
Q. OK well i have been going out with my girlfriend for a little over three months and she recently told me a secret that she has never told anyone not her friends or her family she told me that her father has been what i guess u can call raping her ...
A. 3 February 2009: This is an extremely tuff situation. To start you need to talk with her about finally telling someone about this, like her mom, teacher, other sibling, etc. She also need to get to a counselor. Is it possible for her to live somewhere else for the ... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of my uncles and sister's relationship.
Q. I have a suspicion there is something more than normal going on between my sister(22) and our uncle (36). This suspicion is shared by a handful of other people close to both me and my sister. My biggest concern is the fact they are sharing a be...
A. 3 February 2009: I dont think you are being stupid. I can understand and see a real concern here. It does seem like the relationship is appropriate at all. The problem isnt the age, its the fact their related and possibly being intimate and that he is making her ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant from his naked rubbing?
Q. My boyfriend and I recently had sex. We used a condom, but I just realized that he rubbed himself against me while neither of us were wearing clothes and he didn't have the condom on yet. Could I be pregnant?...
A. 3 February 2009: The likelyhood is slim because he was not inside of you. Sperm doesnt live long outside the body. However, just be more careful when you are being intimate. If a baby is not on the agenda do things to prevent it as much as possible.
~dee... (read in full...)
My husband won't speak to me and does all he can to completely ignore and avoid me.
Q. My husband won't speak to me and does all he can to completely ignore and avoid me. He does come home from work every night but goes directly into the garage. Tonight he was carrying a bag, he placed it on the steps, picked it up, took it to the ...
A. 31 January 2009: What you should do is think if this is the type of marriage you want. The yelling, cursing, fighting, lying, and mischief. What else needs to happen before you realize you are in an unhealthy marriage? You wrote he is probably acting like this ... (read in full...)
I think he's ready for sex but I'm a virgin and not sure I'm ready!
Q. im kinda nervous about this but i need to know.My boyfriend may be ready to have sex,and hes told me he has before.Im still a virgin and I was wondering if i should or not.Ive heard its gonna hurt really bad and i hate pain but im not sure.Any ...
A. 30 January 2009: Even if he is ready, it doesnt mean you are ready.Honestly you will know when the time is right because you just feel ready. If you are second guessing it, it would indicate to me that you arent there just yet. The pain depend on many things. Some ... (read in full...)
Is she being immature about this?
Q. My wife and me had our first daughter (she's 6 weeks). I usually like to party after work with some friends so I can wind down (7 times a week) and won't be until 10:00 pm (my wife will be mad at me if I stay any longer). Anyway when I got home one ...
A. 29 January 2009: I think she is not being immature at all. She just gave birth, her body and hormones are irratic, she has a new baby, and her husband needs to "wind down" and isnt there supporting her. Of course she is going to be upset.
My question to you is d... (read in full...)
What do you think? Is he still interested?
Q. I have just started seeing somebody and last weekend he went to visit friends, which is grand, he text to say he was going and then nothing. I text him worried that he didn't make it there or back and got no reply so i rang and also got no reply. ...
A. 29 January 2009: Well the positive thing is that you guys just started dating, which makes the POSSIBLE departure not that bad. My outlook on this situations is that he is the one that is away, therefore it is on him to contact you. You have made the effort and he ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about bachelor party, strippers & lap dances!
Q. Hello, I'm getting married and well, of course I'm excited. My fiancee is great. He truly is. But I have a bit of a problem regarding the bachelor party. I don't think he'll cheat. But of course there will be strippers. it's a tradition, and...
A. 29 January 2009: I think all the above advice is really good. In addition to that I can totally understand how you feel. Its not about cheating, its just the idea of your man being turned on by another person that doesnt sit well with you. To be honest when you feel ... (read in full...)
What is your definition of "casually dating"?
Q. Just curious on what you guys all think "casually dating" means? What are some things that people who are "casually dating" do and how often would people that are "casually dating" contact each other?...
A. 29 January 2009: My definition of casual dating is two people who do anything they want to do but its just not on a serious level, which means they date other people and its ok. Things arent usually expected from one another, other than keeping a date that was made. ... (read in full...)
How do I orgasm without a vibrator?
Q. how do i give my self an orgasm with out sex toys all i have is a back vibator that i use as a vibrator...
A. 3 June 2008: Well your finger where ever your vibrator goes and is successful then thats where your finger should go. However explore and get to know yourself.
Just so you know, becareful not to over use the any vibrator because you can become dependan... (read in full...)
Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?
Q. I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...
A. 3 June 2008: Despite the fact your on the pill accidents happen! and a guy who your not serious with isnt going to take a chance on getting you pregnant PERIOD. Therefore the quickest space where they can ejaculate is your stomach. You also need to remember that ... (read in full...)
This will be my first time, and I don't know where to start!
Q. i dont know wat to do this will be my first time and i dont know where to start. please please help....
A. 3 June 2008: Before i begin I just want you to realize the decision your making! YOu dont want to be 31 and regret who your first sexual partner was. Okie, well basically i can tell you that you will definitely be very nervous (which is soooo normal). It migh... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is having trouble letting go of the fact I wasn't a virgin!
Q. My boyfriend of six months is having troubles letting go the fact that I wasn't a virgin before we started dating. I was totally honest with him when we first started dating that i wasn't a virgin coming out of a year relationship with someone else. ...
A. 3 June 2008: Its simple he has a mixture of feelings, as a guy he cant picture another guy with his girl, especially since you took his virginity, he might feel cheated. I think you did the right thing being open. I think he is taking it abit far, coming from ... (read in full...)
Cunnilingus blues... this discharge is ruining my sex life!
Q. I've had thick white-ish discharge when I get wet for as long as I can remember. All my friends told me they got it too sometimes, but when my boyfriend found out, he stopped going down on me. I try to clean it off whenever I can find it, but it's ...
A. 3 June 2008: Here is an idea... why dont you and your guy go to the gynocologist together and have your doctor explain to him the normalcy of your issue. (If you dont have a gyno you should get one regardless because its important for us women). Any way maybe a ... (read in full...)
Wondering about his foot fetish, I'm not sure how to take this!
Q. Over the past couple months I have been hanging out with my brother at our lake house and his friends. Im 29 and they are in their early to mid 40's. I started to fall for "Colin" whom I have hung out w/ 4 times. This past weekend "Colin" invited me ...
A. 3 June 2008: Well its simple, your dating/interested in a man with a sexual fetish. There are different types of fetishes however for him feet are his turn on (which is definitely the less extreme of other types of fetishes). Its a really clear and cut ... (read in full...)
My best friend bragged about being asked out my the boy I like, is she a true friend?
Q. Hey My best friend has betrayed me. she kinda knew that i liked this lad. she went to ____ last night a massive party for teens. he was there. so when she got home she started bragging about him, trying to make me jealous. he asked her to get off ...
A. 31 May 2008: I think that if your friend had an idea that you liked this guy and went out of her way to brag to you that he hit on her, she is obviously not a true friend.
Surround yourself with people that will be there for you and make you a better person. ... (read in full...)
He came home from working abroad and I think he is not as interested?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who's moved interstate for work. He told me he's coming home in a few weeks, but has been booked out by his friends and family and wont have time to see me. I'm not upset that he's spending ...
A. 31 May 2008: Honestly, if you two are in a committed relationship I dont see how he cannot make time for you. Why cant he ask you to join him in all these events like seeing his buddies and family?
The problem with relationships today is that people neglect ... (read in full...)
Is this a medical issue or is it that my girlfriends have been satisfied quicker than I have?
Q. Dear DearCupid, I have what feels a serious problem, I'm in love with this girl, we have been for nearly 2 years(in a relationship). We began to have sex in October last year. I love her so much; but a problem that we seem to have is that I can sa...
A. 31 May 2008: I dont think you have a sexual medical problem. Some people take longer to orgasm then others. However, when your in the act and your worrying about it and obsessing about it all it does it interfer with the moment and therefore you will not be able ... (read in full...)
Did I allow myself to be put in this situation?
Q. Ok so i was talkin to this guy and we were like almost the same. there was definitley a connection between us. and when we were around each other we got along great. i dont think that their was ever a dull moment. we went out and stuff but we were ...
A. 14 May 2008: So your concerned about remaining friends with him? If thats the case then you have to talk with him. Call him and explain to him that a friendship is important to you and you dont want to lose that. There is nothing wrong with admitting to someone ... (read in full...)
Help my bf is going too fast, how do I slow him down!!!! DESPERATE FOR ANSWER
Q. i am 12 and am dating a 14 year old he is really cool and i like him but he is moving to fast for me weve been together for about 1 week and he already wants to kiss and makeout and maybe even see me naked but says he doesnt want to "ball" me until ...
A. 14 May 2008: First off let me commend you on being a strong person to not feelings pressured into something you dont want to do! Not many people, especially people your age will standup for what they believe in, especially regarding sexual matters. I think your ... (read in full...)
His talking to his bestfriend more than 10 times a day is getting on my nerves!
Q. Why can't I move on, everytime I think about the way my boyfriend talk all the times, every hour to his friend the one that he call his bestfriend, give me doubt about him. I know they were friends before he met me but come on now, no one talk to ...
A. 20 April 2008: This is why communication is a MUST! your right to be annoyed. But instead of not picking up the phone when he calls or avoiding him, try TALKING to him. Is it possible to sit him down with cell phones off and express to him that the amount of time ... (read in full...)
She said we should take things slower, so now I fear I have ruined my chances?
Q. Hello there. I have fallen in love with a girl that I don't know very well. We went out a couple of times and I like her and want to be with her even though I don’t know her well. On the last date I kissed her and told her that I wanted to be with ...
A. 20 April 2008: You did not blow it, however...have you ever heard the term "slow and steady wins the race"? Well that holds true for many situations, especially with relationships. Saying to someone "i want to be with you" is a big statement, especially if you ... (read in full...)
Do lads like a girl who can make them laugh?
Q. a lad told me he thinks im funny n i make him laugh - do lads generally like a girl who can make them laugh? x...
A. 20 April 2008: Yes, men like when they are with a girl who can make them laugh. Being able to make a guy laugh brings many positives to the table. ~dee... (read in full...)
He's 30, and I'm almost 19, the age gap doesn't bother either of us. Given the circumstances, do you think it matters?
Q. Been meeting up with a 30 year old guy lately in the city. We originally met through work contacts and have kept in touch. I fancied him straight away, he's gorgeous and very funny. I love how sophisiticated he is; he takes me for lovely dinners, ...
A. 20 April 2008: It does seem that having to grow up fast at a young age has lead you to develop a mature outlook at 19. Which is wonderful and its good to see someone who had difficulties rise above. My outlook on the situation is that I cant see what a 30 year old ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my long-term girlfriend I want more sexually?
Q. My girlfriend and me have been together for over 1 and 1/2 years. We have no sex. She doesnt even like to touch my penis naked. But I finger her alot. How can I tell her I want to do more?...
A. 28 March 2008: Have you and your current girlfriend had sex before? If so then there are many possibilities to consider, such as: she did not enjoying it, its painful for her, fear, she might want to become abstinant or other issues within your relationship.
... (read in full...)
My husband hit me--should we separate?
Q. My husband told me tonight that we should separate. He says if I went away for a year and lost some weight and sorted my pms, out he would reconsider. I am very hurt. Last week he hit me over the head with a glass and caused injury. He says it ...
A. 28 March 2008: Arguments happen...however, hitting you over the head with a glass object is totally UNACCEPTABLE. Your husband is physically injuring you and is causing future psychological problems for your son (if he is seeing his mother calling out for help and ... (read in full...)
I don't think he trusts me anymore after he broke off our LDR.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and as things may seem great to others. I'm not happy. We only chat on a chat site cos he lives about 2000 km away but he comes to visit me every holiday. He is really sweet but when we apart...
A. 14 December 2007: In regards to your reply.. i want you to really understand that gifts are not meant to hold you to an unhappy relationship. If people stood because of the gifts they received then no one would ever break up. And the fact that he is spending the ... (read in full...)
Sexual texts and secret meetings but he said they did nothing.
Q. Hi, I'm glad i found this site as ive got no one else to talk to. About a month ago my fiance of nearly 4 years an who i have 2 kids with got a new job and started sneaking around and was guarding his phone. It went on for weeks so i looked at h...
A. 13 December 2007: okie...though there are kids involved and a strong past between you too, here is something i think is being overlooked... What happens when you tie the knot..and this continues? and you have a past with children...get my point? This situation needs ... (read in full...)
I don't think he trusts me anymore after he broke off our LDR.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and as things may seem great to others. I'm not happy. We only chat on a chat site cos he lives about 2000 km away but he comes to visit me every holiday. He is really sweet but when we apart...
A. 13 December 2007: This doesnt seem like much of a relationship, you guys dont see each other, he doesnt trust you and your not happy. My question to you is what is keeping you here? If your response to this question is that you would miss him or are comfortable with ... (read in full...)
Do you think what I did was cheating?
Q. I have been married for 14 years and a year ago my best friend and I had too much to drink and we kissed for less then 2 minutes(female). I told my husband yesterday and he said I cheated so it's over. Do you think that is cheating?...
A. 26 September 2007: Well everyone has their own definition of cheating and what it consists of. Some men wouldnt consider that cheating...others (like your husband) do. I personally, dont feel that you cheated in a way that would cause a divorce. The fact that he said ... (read in full...)
I need to end a relationship but how do I do that without the rest of the semester being horrible?
Q. I've come to the point in a relationship where something feels... off. I can't shake off this feeling and I think I need to end the relationship. I have a class with him though, and I don't know how to break it to him without the rest of the ...
A. 19 September 2007: There is no easy way to break it off. If you feel things arent right you need to stop it now before you get any deeper into this relationship which will only make it harder to end. Honestly, if YOUR not happy then who cares what class hes in, where ... (read in full...)
I need help to stop feeling jealous! What can I do???
Q. help im a 20yr old female, iv always been cheated on in my relationships, and now i have a boyfriend of 1yr and i jus cannot trust him! i never accuse him, i just have the thought in my head he's cheated. we see each other everyday but when he does...
A. 18 September 2007: First off stop being so hard on yourself. You have a history of dealing with bad men! Its unfortunate, but it happens. I must commend you on being able to continue persuing relationships and taking the risk and also for keeping your thoughts to ... (read in full...)
She laughed of my body as we were getting intimate. What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend were "getting in the mood", but when I dropped my pants she laughed and said I was small. What should I do?...
A. 16 September 2007: Sometimes when a person is nervous they say and do things out of nerves. She could have been nervous about being intimate with you and to break the intensitiy of the situation she said what she said. For example when people go to a funeral and laugh ... (read in full...)
He shows no care when we make love, doesn't react when I'm mistreated, why is he like this? Please advise.
Q. I have been with my partner for just over a year and even though i have asked to meet his friends,i never have, he only visits them if we have an arguement,he has also lied to me a lot. Last year he slept at his ex partners sister,when we had ...
A. 16 September 2007: Take a step back for a minute...Look at all you just wrote. What does his actions say to you?....Honestly to me it tells me that this man just doesnt care! Do you want to be with a man like that? When your in a relationship the one things that a man ... (read in full...)
Should I chuck him or keep holding on and waiting for some miracle to occur?
Q. I'm 16 years old and have had the same boyfriend for about 1 year and a half. At first it was really lovely, and then it just went sour. We have our good days, but when it gets bad, like some stupid argument over who buys what, we shout and scream ...
A. 10 September 2007: The best question i can throw out there for you to get to the bottom of this is...is it worth working things out?
First off know that every relationship has its good and bad days. There is fighting, yelling, and unfortunately name calling ... (read in full...)
Am I being suspicious for nothing?
Q. Hi. I've not been the greatest wife in the world. We have had stressors way beyond the norm and I have been the primary money earner throughout those times. I escaped from personal problems by throwing myself into my work and by drinking when I was ...
A. 5 September 2007: I dont thing you are being too suspicious at all. You realized right away that something was fishy when he brought up an affair. Now what is the next step?....First of let me start by asking you, Do you think if he did have an affair will he e... (read in full...)
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