I'm in love with a married man...I'm torn and confused about what I'm doing here. Any help?
Q. I'm 19 and i'm in love with a married man. We met once, and we've just been talking over the phone. He sends shivers down my body to the point to where i don't know if i want to cry or have some type of sexual release. I'm a little worried, because ...
A. 10 August 2009: Hi there,
Firstly, if anything ever did amount to anything with him, he will be unfaithful to you because his values tell him it is ok.
Secondly, he is unavailable, dishonest and has no empathy for those he hurts so don't think he will ca... (read in full...)
I feel men lack a moral compass
Q. I have issues with men and am not really sure what else can be done. I dont like feeling this way and dont hate men but I simply feel that the majority of them lack a moral compass. I look around the world and see rapes and murders daily on the news ...
A. 9 August 2009: q1605
I've lived in this world long enough to know that in order for me to communicate well to others I don't need to use intellectual language that others can't understand.
In reading your posts there seems to be a use of language reflect... (read in full...)
I feel men lack a moral compass
Q. I have issues with men and am not really sure what else can be done. I dont like feeling this way and dont hate men but I simply feel that the majority of them lack a moral compass. I look around the world and see rapes and murders daily on the news ...
A. 8 August 2009: Hi there,
Everyone has their opinions based on their experiences and I'd like to share with you mine.
I'm hear to tell ya sista, not all Men are like this. I have a Partner who believes the Men who are like this lack sophisication. H... (read in full...)
Our marriage fell apart, now he's seeing another woman after 3 weeks! How could he move on so quick? And what did his silence mean?
Q. My husband asked for a divorce after 7 years because I put my children (from a previous marriage) before him. Three weeks later he is dating another woman. For closure I needed to know how he could move on so fast and just act like I never existed. ...
A. 8 August 2009: Hi there,
What do you mean when you say you put your children first? Do you mean you put their needs first or that you pushed your husband away by putting their needs and wants first? Also, how did he put his children and Mother first?
It is m... (read in full...)
It's only been 4 weeks and he's already distancing himself! Should I leave him or stay and hope we'll get closer?
Q. So a about 3 weeks ago I meet a guy through another friend , It went great for a couple of days then he tells me he is bisexual I accept it at the time , then that night we start to talk and he uses this line I like you I just don't want to hurt you ...
A. 8 August 2009: Hi there,
I think you need to clarify with him his reasons for telling you he is bisexual specifically whether he's just being open about his past or whether he's trying to tell you he will be dating other people.
You didn't say whether you ... (read in full...)
Should I just be satisfied with his friendship and forget about him later when we get out of touch?
Q. i have a boy in my mind and think of proposing him but i cant imagine how he would react and i dont want to loose him since he may not like my idea or may be liking another girl and i think i even dont know how to get started and blurt out ...
A. 8 August 2009: Hi there,
Are you meaning marriage proposal?
How long have you known him?
I can't give a complete answer until I know this.
You mentioned you had a frienship with him. I think your best to aim toward making your feelings known to hi... (read in full...)
Help! I want him back!
Q. Hi, I met this guy 5 months ago and we talked on the phone every day and we were texting each other all the time but he lives in another state, sometimes we had some fights over the phone because I blame him when he didn't call me back. I made ...
A. 8 August 2009: Hi there,
I think considering you're in different states, the only option would be to make things very casual and slow things down alot. This may be hard for you, yet it will have benefits for you as well, it can give you time to work on some of ... (read in full...)
How can I convince him I'm not cheating or playing games?
Q. i am a 22 year old woman who has 3 kids and i am in love with a 36 year old man who has 3 kids of his own but because of the age gap he thinks i am cheating and playing games with him due to the fact we do not live together he is very jealous and ...
A. 8 August 2009: Hi there,
He's said that you're cheating and playing games with him because you don't live together, ask him how you play games, what is that you do and say that gives him that impression. When he answers, just listen and thank him for talking ... (read in full...)
It's early, but I want to tell him how I'm feeling without freaking him out..
Q. How much do you tell a guy about how you're feeling (in the early stages of going out) to let him know you're interested but avoid freaking him out? I'm fairly new to dating again after a long relationship (and over a year of being single after that ...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
Ask him out - go somewhere fun where he can't help but have a good night. Have a few drinks yourself beforehand to help you relax and just keep saying you're gonna have a great night to yourself, get excited before you go when you're g... (read in full...)
Is this him getting back at me for ignoring him?
Q. About two weeks ago, things ended with the guy I was seeing for two months. THings were going great until he told me he started talking to his ex. He felt so guilty he couldn't even tell me over the phone what was wrong- he had to text me. I was so ...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
I wouldn't react to anything he does. He sounds like he is playing games with you and if you take the bait you could end up more hurt.
Like you said, he could have taken you off facebook because he is back with his ex and she asked... (read in full...)
Should I continue to keep in touch with my ex and ruin my chance with this other guy, or cut contact?
Q. 0k.. i went with this boy named Lamont and he lived right down the street from me and we rode the same bus to school and i used to go to his house after school and we went together for like 2 months he meet my mom and she liked him.. When we b...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
You didn't say why you broke up with Lamont.
I can't see why you can't speak with both of them as I presume you are not in a relationship with either of them.
Lamont you have already been with so I assume there's not much future ... (read in full...)
Should I go ahead and see what happens with this relationship, or forget it?
Q. Hello, i wonder if u can help me!! i have been speeking to this Turkish man for about 1 year now, we have got really close , talked everyday spooken on phone, msn, etc!. hes a really nice man with a wonderful personality, and also he lives no wher...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
I would trust your sense on this one.
You have a hunch that something is not right.
This doesn't mean end it or never see him again, it means slow down, go lots slower, keep checking him out as you have been and if there is som... (read in full...)
Are we friends or could we be something more?
Q. Bear with me...I feel like I'm in high school again. I have a guy friend who I'm very in to. We've been friends for about three years. Recently we have gotten closer. We've been spending more time together and last week we spent an evening ...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
The only way you're gonna know is by asking him.
My thoughts from what you wrote, are yes, he likes you.
Good luck
... (read in full...)
So many things have happened and we can't trust each other. I need advice!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for going on three years now. To most that doesn't seem like a long time but we're young, and this was both of ours first relationship. When we got together, we really hit it off, as most couples do when entering ...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
I think once trust is broken it's so very hard to get it back. The unfortunate thing is that the person who broke the trust may actually change and become more trustworthy yet the person who had their trust broken just can't seem to ... (read in full...)
He totally changed and I need advice on how to improve things?
Q. I need help. I have posted my problem with my boyfriend's retroactive jealousy, and some advice was helpful. But ultimately nothing has changed for the better, however we are not really trying. What can I do?? How can I keep the man I love?? We ...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there,
Have you spoken at depth about what has changed for your boyfriend?
Ask him what actually goes on for him and whether he thinks your a slut now.
I suggest you just keep talking with him about this until he gets it out of his syste... (read in full...)
I want to get rid of my sex drive!
Q. Here's the thing - I don't want a sex drive. I don't want to get involved in a relationship because they always make me miserable. No way am I doing the casual sex thing. I really do not want a sex drive. how, how, how do I kill it? I'm a ...
A. 5 August 2009: Hi there,
It may be worth your while looking up a site called sex and love addicts.
Please don't be put off by the name as it is not as it appears.
The reason I think this may apply to you is because you have an adversity to relationshi... (read in full...)
My heart is broken in pieces I really need help
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me this week and it's being so hard to get over the whole situation for me because it ended up in really hurtful terms, he seemed like he didn't care hurting my feelings, he broke my heart in pieces, but after all that he ...
A. 5 August 2009: Hi there,
I have read the other posts and it touches my heart at how strangers in their humanity can show love to one another.
Your ex boyfriend is cruel, uncaring and has no integrity. A breakup with someone you love who does it in the kindes... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: As far as I'm concerned, no means no, and if anybody thinks her no means yes then that's their problem.
If she said no, and he ignored that, then it is rape. ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 4 August 2009: Troubledtoomuch
How you say, "It may be possible to believe part of a person's story while doubting another part of it" is based on your perceptions and experiences. Saying you "doubt that there is a person alive who has not totally believed... (read in full...)
I think I am in love, so why do I fantasise about other women?
Q. So my dilemma is this: I have been living with a girl for just over one year, and to get to the punch line, I fantasise about having sex with other girls, random people on the street, colleagues at work, fellow students at college, whatever. While I ...
A. 3 August 2009: There is a site where you can do an online test to determine if you have sex addiction. Google sex and love addiction 40 questions.
Some, in fact, many Men will minimize what you do and tell you not to worry about it. Just because Society ... (read in full...)
Did my girlfiend cheat, or was she raped?
Q. I feel so silly for even asking this on the Internet, but I just need to get some opinions. First of all, I'm 18, and this is my first girlfriend. She is 15. We've been dating for 10 months now. In the 2nd month of dating, we broke up for 2 days, ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there,
Your girlfriend has not cheated on you.
If she said no to oral sex and the friend ignored her and continued, it is clearly rape.
I can't seem to recall where consenting sexual intimacy involves biting one's breast until it bl... (read in full...)
We were so close and helping each other with our problems, but then our feelings for each other got in the way!
Q. ok so long story. and yes i have problems.. feels like i cant do anything right lately.. i had a close friend who just got out of a 2 year relationship and then i just got out of my 2 month relationship.. and before that my 1 eyar relationship.. and ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there,
Do you know why he doesn't want to talk to you anymore?
I'm not sure if you're asking if you want to have a relationship with him or whether you want to maintain the friendship.
Either way, I think there needs to be some talking... (read in full...)
I do want my ex back, but I don't want to put pressure on him while he is under financial stress. Opinions please?
Q. I've been broken up w/ my ex for about 3 wks.I'm currently visiting fam in NY.B4 I left for ny,We watched a movie and ended up having sex 2x.We've txted occassionally since i've been here but i felt i was chasing him so i didnt contact him for a ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there,
This is hard to comment on because you haven't said why you split and the scary thing is that you don't know either. What stopped you from finding out the reasons for your separation? Don't you want to know, wouldn't it be helpful ... (read in full...)
Five years and still waiting for the date!
Q. I have a dilema... I have been with my fiance now for 5 years and counting. We are currently in a custody battle with his ex over his son and i have tried so hard and worked so hard through all of it for him and with him. I am just not sure that he ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there, It sounds to me like you may have a little low self esteem at the moment. I get the impression from what you have written that he may have proposed to you 4 years ago, (not sure if you were the one that proposed)it's hard to deter... (read in full...)
Is he just curious or does he still have feelings for me?
Q. Hi, im gay and i need help, my boyfriend and I broke up some time ago, almost one month, we ended up in bad terms, i have a lot of feelings for him, im still in love even though he really hurt my feelings, i just cant stop thinking about him, once I ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there, I would be careful here. Sometimes after separation one can think only of the good times and minimize the reasons for the split. It might be worth writing down the reasons why you separated. What I think needs to be determined ... (read in full...)
Am I destined to be with him? What is this feeling
Q. I had this guy friend who is 3years older than me.We knew each other ever since I was 6years old.It started off as good and funny friends until I was 12years old.I had my first love,but it just ended with a heartbreak.So what I did was turn to this ...
A. 3 August 2009: Hi there, It sounds to me as though you have an intimate relationship with this guy. There is trust, honesty, support from him and he is emotionally available to you. You saw him as a friend and if you haven't experienced romance before, it's... (read in full...)
She doesn't want sex!
Q. I am a 30yo male with a 30yo girlfriend. We have been together for 3 years lived together for 2 one of which was overseas, we have returned recently. My problem is she has been saying she doesn’t want sex, she has had this stance for 18months...
A. 31 July 2009: Hi again, It sounds as if there are other underlying issues one being the way she communicates her unhappiness within the relationship. If she uses the ignoring tactic, does she behave this way with other issues you have or is it just in relation... (read in full...)
Need help with steps to get her back
Q. hello, I am 21 and have been in a relationship with a girl for a little over a year. We were coming up on our anniversary with the titles as boyfriend and girlfriend. she just just broke up with me last wednesday because she fell out of love wit...
A. 30 July 2009: Hi there,
Ask what makes her feel appreciated and what were the things she believes that you contributed to the relationship breakdown.
Don't argue with her reply, just listen. If you get upset and disagree, keep that to yourself. You ca... (read in full...)
She doesn't want sex!
Q. I am a 30yo male with a 30yo girlfriend. We have been together for 3 years lived together for 2 one of which was overseas, we have returned recently. My problem is she has been saying she doesn’t want sex, she has had this stance for 18months...
A. 30 July 2009: Hi there,
Puhlease, stop getting into a power struggle about who's responsible for starting arguments. There's nothing to argue over now. Just get to the issue - your sex life.
I agree with one the replies in regards to trying to see the other... (read in full...)
How can I get closure?
Q. i met a guy on holiday, we got on brill although i could sense that he was possibly insecure and jealous by a couple of things that he did and said. 2 days before i was due to leave i had a talk with him, he said he would come on holiday to where i ...
A. 28 July 2009: I don't think there's much you can do if you have texted messaged him and he hasn't responded. There could be a small chance he didn't receive the text. I wonder, you mentioned that he ignored you for the last 2 days, did you approach him on ... (read in full...)
He won't see his daughter when shes menstruates!
Q. Hi there, I have been divorced for some years now and since my daughter started her period, her Dad has refused to see her the weekends she menstruates. I was wondering if any Father's or other Mother's have had the same experience so so...
A. 28 July 2009: Hi again, To reply tp all of your questions, yes he experienced me with my period and there didn't seem to be an issue, although he would respond with an immature ew if ever there was a joke related to a Woman and her period. I am wondering if the... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do to stop missing him!
Q. I miss my ex. We were together for 3 and a half years and have been broken up for over 4 months now and haven't talked at all since we broke up. I have dated people and am seeing someone right now who just wants to date casually or whatever and I am ...
A. 28 July 2009: Hi there, Firstly, I would just accept yourself for where you're at. So... you miss him terribly, nothing wrong with that. It seems you're judging yourself for this in a negative way, just relax, say out loud, I miss him terribly, sing it, ma... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mom I want to go on birth control?
Q. Okay so im 16 and thinking about having sex for the frsit time. i wanna get on birth control. i just dont know how to tell my mom becuase i dont want her to think its for sex when im going to be safe. condoms and everything. how do i t...
A. 27 July 2009: Hi there, It may be worth considering being upfront and honest with your Mum and tell her your considering sex. You may be quite surprised with her reaction. If you're thinking about having sex and are being mature enough and responsibile e... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he fantasizes about other girls all the time!
Q. my bf told me he thinks about having sex with other girls all them time. He said he would never go with them or leave me. He said he loves me very much and wants to be with me forever. He said he sees girls everywhere and thinks about having sex ...
A. 27 July 2009: With my last response, I asked a visiting 19 who is going through the exact same thing to reply to your question purely expressing how she feels just to show you how you are not alone. I have found that many people who reply on this site, give ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he fantasizes about other girls all the time!
Q. my bf told me he thinks about having sex with other girls all them time. He said he would never go with them or leave me. He said he loves me very much and wants to be with me forever. He said he sees girls everywhere and thinks about having sex ...
A. 27 July 2009: It's like he is cheating and i'm upset about it. what can i do. i worry that every good looking girl he sees he will be thinking about sex with her and when he closes his eyes during sex i feel turned off because i wonder if he's thinking about one ... (read in full...)
Should I act on my attraction?
Q. My husband has a friend I am extremely attracted to physically. I think he feels the same about me. My marriage over 23 years is OK not spectacular. Should I act on my attraction? Not looking for an emotional relationship just physical. ...
A. 26 July 2009: Ho would you feel if your husband did this to you with one of your friends? Humiliated perhaps?? You will need to weigh up what you will gain against what you could lose. You may lose your marriage, create a lot of hurt and your husband's f... (read in full...)
Should I hold on with my fiance?
Q. I have known my fiance for 5 years now. We decided to get engaged in on our 5th year and plan to get married in the next. We don't live together. She lives with her parents while I have my own place. Now the feeling have changed. She is pushing me ...
A. 26 July 2009: I think you have answered your own question, you have lost your heart for her a long time ago. She wants to break up too and it seems like you have a lot of resentment for the way she has treated you. You need to think about whether you are p... (read in full...)
I'll never get a boyfriend or girlfriend and I'm ugly
Q. I'll never get a boyfriend or girlfriend. I am 15. I think I might be bisexual. Everyone else who is my age that I know has had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Everyone tells me that it will happen. I say that it will never happen. There is no guarantee. ...
A. 26 July 2009: Gidday, I am a firm believer that the beauty of a person is within them. I know that sounds like a cop out but it is true. Have you ever seen a wonderful looking guy or girl and then you speak to them and all of a sudden you think "they're not tha... (read in full...)
How long does it take a person to decide whether they want to get back together with you or not?
Q. I sent my ex a let's get back together letter. I told him to take his time and think about it. I know he'll definitely answer (he would never not answer) but it's been 4 days. It's a good sign that time is passing bc I know he actually is thinking ...
A. 25 July 2009: Gidday, If you know he will respond, let him take as much time as he needs. Sometimes the length of time is a good thing because he could be very much considering your request. He also may be reluctant through fear of being hurt again. Th... (read in full...)
I'm religious and have told him I'm not taking it any further, but he still wants to try his luck. What can I do?
Q. Ok, here's what's going on. I'm mormon, age 20, a virgin. I have a bf, 21, not a virgin. I tell him my restrictions for our relationship of going to 3 months, I tell him I want to wait until marriage before I have sex, including oral, he's agreed to ...
A. 23 July 2009: Gidday,
It seems as though you are torn between your natural physical desires and your religion.
If you are having doubts about whether you can maintain your committment to your faith then it may be worth having a chat to someone from you... (read in full...)
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