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*spie agony aunt

*spie

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

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[Last updated: Sunday 7th October 2012]

Young mid-twenty-something male living somewhere in South-East England. Have Asperger's Syndrome, hence the username.

Been through many many different experiences on the roller coaster of love/romance/relationships, including: Long-distance relationships; short-lived relationships (incl. flings); rebound relationships; being cheated on (but never cheating on!); dying love/falling out of love; and unrequited love.

Originally signed up to this site to get some much-needed advice, but being a helpful kind of person I've sort of found myself interested in at least trying to help out others with their own issues too.

When answering someone else's question, I will tend to speak my mind. I'll often re-read the question or parts of it as I answer, but I will say what I really think of the situation described. Sometimes I may not get it right, or may not make complete sense, but I really do try to do so. I'd like to think I see the situation slightly differently to others, as I like to think my mind is wired differently to others. I certainly don't answer questions for fun, or to laugh at the question asked or situation/problem described and my answer given to it.

You're welcome to message me about absolutely anything, and I'll do my very best to reply to you within a reasonable time.

Thanks for reading,

'Aspie'.

===== Quotes and things to do with love, romance, relationships, and more =====

=== Star signs (so far only my star sign) ===

Pisceans get close to others too fast, and when things go sour they are devastated.

Pisceans are often left broken-hearted in the end.

=== Various quotes (many of these resonate well with me...) ===

While I was holding on all you did was let go.

"You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it." -Unknown

The worst feeling in the world is knowing you've been used and lied to.

"You don't die from a broken heart.. you only wish you did." -Unknown

How could you make me love you and then not be there to love me back?

My heart was taken by you... broken by you... and now it is in pieces because of you.

"Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion." -Javan

For a few minutes you made me feel as though I actually meant something to someone.

"To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful." -Bess Myerson

No matter how hard I try, I will never be able to look at you and pretend to feel nothing.

What do you do when the only person who can stop your tears is the one making you cry?

Hold my hand, just one more time, so I can remind myself why it is that I can't get over you.

"The greatest pain that comes from love is loving someone you can never have." -Anonymous

"Hearts will never be made practical until they are made unbreakable." -Tinman (Wizard of Oz)

Love is like falling down... in the end you're left hurt, scarred, and with a memory of it forever.

It's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.

"Look in my eyes and you will find me, but look in my heart and you will find you." -Unknown

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." -Kahlil Gibran

I don't know which I would rather believe... that you never did care or that you eventually stopped.

One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or try harder.

"Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts." -Unknown

The hardest thing about knowing you don't love me is that you spent so much time pretending that you did.

So... from now on... when you think of me... just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had.

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

You hurt me more than I deserve, how can you be so cruel? I love you more than you deserve, why am I such a fool?

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight, and say, "I know you're not."

A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried.

You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?

I know I made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life, but the worst one was thinking the person who hurt me the most wouldn't hurt me again.

You asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said nothing, when you turned around and a tear came down and I whispered to myself... everything is.

I'm not afraid of heights, I'm afraid of falling. I'm not scared of the dark, I'm scared of what's in it. I'm not afraid of love, I'm afraid of not being loved back.

The truth of the matter is, I still have feelings for you. And no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm better off without you, a part of me just won't let go.

You're the one who broke my heart, you're the reason my world fell apart, you're the one who made me cry, yet I'm still in love with you and I don't know why.

I'm going to stay with you because you need a friend, but that's all I'm going to be. No more sex, no more hands in places they shouldn't be, no more giving you my heart so you can stamp all over it.

Today was just one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you and every song I heard somehow related to you. I hate days like today, because they remind me of the one thing I don't have.

And even though you lied, and even though you pretended to care I can't seem to get you out of my mind and even though it seems like I should be over you, with every tear that falls, it reminds me of how much I am still in love with you.

Of course, you're going to get your heart broken. And it isn't just going to happen once, but a lot. That's just part of growing up, and it makes you stronger. Then you can handle it better next time. You may not get through it yourself, but your friends will help you through it. And you'll be a stronger person because of it. Then one day someone will come along, and it'll all pay off and no one will ever break your heart again.

Am I mad at you? That's your main concern after shattering my whole world? Mad for what? Breaking my heart? Or for all the lies? Maybe for letting me put all my trust in you only to be betrayed? How about the fact you didn't even have the decency to tell me to my face? Or the way you think it's crazy that I'm crying over it cause to you breaking up is no big deal. Am I mad at you?... no. More like crushed... did I ever really know you?

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaiman

Why are you on DearCupid?

Q.   Someone asked me via PM "well you are here to help people" And someone else and I got to talking in message about that and I wonder... WHY do YOU post to DC? Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help...

A.   2 September 2012: Are you here to help yourself? (or did you come to help yourself and stayed to help others which was what happened with me) Exactly the same for me! As per my "Advice column" (oooo, get me :p): "Originally signed up to this site to get some much... (read in full...)

I have really, really low self-esteem and I'm trying to work on it but it's not really going anywhere.

Q.   Hi, I'm a 21 year old girl who's never had a boyfriend or even gone on a date. I have also never been physically close to a boy. No hand-holding, kissing, let alone sex. The reason I started with this is because I feel like it literally define...

A.   28 June 2012: Thanks for coming back with the 'feedback'. What you said sort of cheered me up in a way, too. I'm glad that you "really liked the idea of grabbing a book and reading outside or near to the library sometime" :-) To further add some of my th... (read in full...)

Who do you think this person in his contact list might be

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A.   26 June 2012: When you say "while we were on a break", what exactly do you mean - did you just take a break from being around each other (but still consider yourselves in a relationship with each other), or did you briefly split-up? If the latter, did either of ... (read in full...)

Who do you think this person in his contact list might be

Q.   Hi. I am in a dilemma. My bf lent me his email account to use and he had a contact on there called 'sexy person'. He has has this account for ages do you think it may have already been on there from a long time ago and he just hadnt bothered to ...

A.   24 June 2012: There you go again, you've realised there is no hard evidence of anything going on! :) You should definitely try to put this behind you and get on with the relationship. I would be inclined to suggest you just quietly watch him to see if he's up ... (read in full...)

Who do you think this person in his contact list might be

Q.   Hi. I am in a dilemma. My bf lent me his email account to use and he had a contact on there called 'sexy person'. He has has this account for ages do you think it may have already been on there from a long time ago and he just hadnt bothered to ...

A.   23 June 2012: Firstly, those Windows Live invitations you mention are probably nothing at all to worry about as they're probably these fake/spam/bot ones that have 'infiltrated' popular online things. You get people like that on Twitter, they just randomly ... (read in full...)

Who do you think this person in his contact list might be

Q.   Hi. I am in a dilemma. My bf lent me his email account to use and he had a contact on there called 'sexy person'. He has has this account for ages do you think it may have already been on there from a long time ago and he just hadnt bothered to ...

A.   23 June 2012: In reply to your first reply... If you want him to be able to tell you anything then let him know that you do! It is surely far far better for your relationship with him that he knows he can tell you things like this. In reply to your second r... (read in full...)

Why does every boy I meet end the relationship so soon? Is it me? Or is it the abuse my ex gave me?

Q.   Heya, this may sound silly as partly it's my own fault but just so fed up. Right it all started with my ex. He used to make out I was lucky to be with him, he use to say things like: "You should be grateful I'm with you because no one else ...

A.   22 June 2012: It's a little hard to say if it's you or them without knowing you more, but one would wonder if you could perhaps ask friends or others you know to be honest with you if there is anything wrong with you. Perhaps consider talking to yourself... (read in full...)

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