| Latest articles: How to be kind when others aren't
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 April 2008: How to be kind when others aren't: Take time for yourself by sitting on your bed and focusing on the weave of the cover Treat someone you love to a spontaneous hug Light a candle outside and pray for people worse off than you Arrange bo...
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I need immediate help.. please! I'm being blackmailed!
Q. I need immediate help, please. Before I explain my situation, I just want the people to know that I'm not really.. 'this' kind of a person. I don't know why I acted this way, and now I'm paying the price for my stupidity. I've always been independ...
A. 16 May 2008: If you continue to follow his demands then he will demand more. Firstly, stop going online to this site and onto MSN. Secondly, do not send him anything and if he calls tell him you have called the police and hang up. Thirdly, tell at least one of ... (read in full...)
Tired of being hurt. What do you think?
Q. I'm only young, but have gotten turned over a couple of times already, what with girls cheating on me etc. I've kind of come up with this kind of theory there 'are no rules to life', other than avoid being the loser. For instance if you do the ch...
A. 14 May 2008: I think that is flawed logic to get away with unacceptable and selfish behavior. You would be hurting someone else in the same way you have been hurt. It doesn't make sense to punish an innocent third party. The way to find a faithful partner is to ... (read in full...)
Please help me, does she deserve another chance? Do I?
Q. Hi,Me and my girlfriend were dating for about a month and a half. There were many reasons for me to be somewhat untrusting of her because she has cheated on me twice. But the first time it happened i had no proof but i had A witness. She said that ...
A. 14 May 2008: She may want to be your friend, but she knows that this will lead to another installment in your relationship. Stay away from her, not because she is a bad person, but because she is not right for you. If you do RISK a relationship with her again, ... (read in full...)
I have a huge crush on my boss! I don't know what to do about it...
Q. Hi, I am a 23 year old girl who has a huge crush and doesn't know what to do. I have had a crush on my boss since I started working at my job five months ago. He is about five years older than me and I don't think that's a bad age difference, but ...
A. 14 May 2008: Firstly, he is engaged, secondly, he is your boss. He is unavailable on two levels. I think you will have to love him from a distance and try to get over it. This will be hard to do, maybe you could focus on an annoying trait he has and if you can't ... (read in full...)
21 and I've never had a real relationship, how do I overcome this?
Q. I'm currently a 21 year old junior in college. I have never had a real relationship with a girl. Its not that I don't hook up with girls, I just can seem to make relationships work. I always get bored or over it once I start to hang out with a girl ...
A. 14 May 2008: Maybe you find the relationships boring because you are being boring in the relationship. I am sure the girls who you find some little thing wrong with find as many things annoying about you. Why don't you just tell her if you are interested in a ... (read in full...)
I'm not in love with my husband, what should I do?
Q. I'm not in love with my husband and want to leave but don't know how. He has become a perfect father and husband but I am not in love. We've known each other for 12 years and have been married for almost 10 years. Right from the start, he was in ...
A. 14 May 2008: Whatever you decide to do, make sure you have support people around you. If you don't, pay for them in the form of a counsellor who can help you decide and who can support you if you decide to separate from your husband. It sounds like a sticking ... (read in full...)
Does he secretly want me back?
Q. My question is, does my ex secretly want me back? My ex and I had a very close relationship off and on for about 5 years. At one point we were living together and engaged but the relationship ended on account of some growing up and dealing with ...
A. 14 May 2008: Ask him. This is not a healthy friendship relationship because of the conflicting messages he is sending and because you are letting him. Tell him about your confusion and ask about his intentions and needs. It sounds like the question might be do ... (read in full...)
Is it okay if I have sex with my friend?
Q. Im 15 And One Of My Girl Mates Wants To Have Sex And Where Not Goin Out. Is It Ok if i Do Or Will i Feel guilty After. Is it Ok if i do have Sex With her? ...
A. 14 May 2008: You should save sex for a relationship at the very least. You don't know how you will feel afterwards, but if you don't want to, or even if you have reservations then you don't have to have sex with her. I don't think it is OK to be pressured into ... (read in full...)
I have found God and decided against my relations with me. Will this leave me lonely?
Q. When I was growing up, I was sure that I would turn out gay. My first crush was for a guy who lived down my street, and later, in adolescence, men featured in my fantasies. Then a girl came along who blew my mind. We were together throughout our ...
A. 27 April 2008: You have no choice but to take the risk to be hurt and rejected. But hey, that is the worst that can happen. If you don't take the risk, there is loneliness and regret. Be strong and see what happens. You don't know anyway, and there is only one way ... (read in full...)
I've been thinking about trying guys?
Q. Ok guys i have tons of questions so bear with me. Ok so i've been thinking about trying guy cause girls just cause all sorts of problems. But i have LOTS of issues... 1. I want to expierament but idk anyone who would want to 2. I don't know any ...
A. 27 April 2008: Slow down. Don't worry about another person right now, it will happen when it happens, try not to chase love or anything else and enjoy being you where you are. Keep cool and see what happens, all good things in time. Be patient young man, there is ... (read in full...)
Single and getting old and I really want to meet someone.
Q. I'm gay and in my mid-forties. I have been single for over 10 years, and I'm getting lonely. Because of my career I am socially closeted, which doesn't help. I don't have much of a social life, and as a result am slightly socially crippled and unco...
A. 27 April 2008: If it is that important, then put yourself in situations where you do not have to be closeted. Take more risks, because the way you are going now is not working. Have less interest in your life as a so called not-gay man and more interest in being ... (read in full...)
What does my dream about my dead friend mean
Q. my friend killed himself, a few weeks ago, but last night i had a dream that he was telling me he was alive we were walking to my fathers house he explained that had to pretend he was dead because of things happening in his life, he was also being ...
A. 27 April 2008: The dream means that you feel sad and that you are trying to cope with his death. In this situation it would be wise to talk to a counsellor. ... (read in full...)
Does a blood test determine if one has AIDS or other STD's? How fast the results? Is it worthwhile to investigate my situation?
Q. I was just wondering is a blood test done to see if you have AIDS? If you ask your doctor to do a test for it, and you happen to have some other STD'd will it turn up in the test results or will you have to actually ask for them to test for them as ...
A. 27 April 2008: Listen to Mandy. Just ask to be tested for Everything. It is better to know there is nothing wrong than to wonder and hurt yourself (and others) more unnecessarily.... (read in full...)
Should I become a meaner person... or louder and outspoken just to be loved??
Q. So i am the sweetest person anyone can meet..evryone who i have ever encountered tells me that i am nice and i am really kindhearted. I am willing to be devoted to someone, care about them and be faithful...so i dnt understand why guys wont make me ...
A. 27 April 2008: There is a shadow side of yourself yet to establish itself in your personality, that is why you are asking this question. You can't describe yourself like that and not be a bit of a bitch somewhere in there (after all isn't that what you are ... (read in full...)
Who do you think passed on the infection? I feel so alone, trapped, scared and stupid...
Q. I now have an STD. I feel soooo unlucky. Since my ex left me for the other women i tried to move on from him. I met someone at a bbq and 6 months later we slept together. The condom came off inside me (I dont think it fit him correctly). He also ...
A. 27 April 2008: Your instinct to hide is correct. Hide from sexual contact from all people for a couple of months while you get the STD thing sorted with medical professionals. Herpes is notoriously hard to test for so don't be too concerned about that. Test for ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend stopped caring... what is left to do?
Q. My Boyfriend Has Stopped Caring. I have been with my boyfriend for 10 months we were happy to start with, got engaged and everythin, now everythings changed. he wants more time alone and when i decide to go out on the town with my mATEs he hates i...
A. 27 April 2008: This means that you have stopped caring for yourself if you continue chasing for affection someone that has none. Start caring for yourself and being kind to you, including buying yourself inexpensive presents, cooking yourself good food and ... (read in full...)
Is there any chance of us being together in spite of our families and school trying to break us up? We pertain to different races.
Q. About 8 months ago a guy from school and I started getting close.( He is currently deputy head boy and black, I'm white) At first I took everything he said to me as a joke cos I couldn't see how one of the most popular guys at school could like me. ...
A. 27 April 2008: Have respect for your heart and do whatever safely you can to keep it happy. Nothing need be serious at this stage in life and hand holding in English class can be happier BECAUSE of bad mouthing. However, if it gets to heavy, know when to withdraw, ... (read in full...)
I cannot let him choose between his family and I, but how to forget him since we work together?
Q. My close friend told me about 7 months that he loved me and i was so shocked, but then i realised i liked him too... the situation was difficult because he was married but seperated and we work together so we were I guess sneaking around. He i...
A. 27 April 2008: Hold out. Be neither for nor against. Create emotional distance and see what happens over 2-3 months. Request his separation develop to divorce before any thing else happens. Be serious. This is life, family and work involved so make no moves before ... (read in full...)
Every time we have got back together, it has always ended the same way: he gradually loses interest! I'm trying to understand his behaviour!
Q. Hi, About 4 years ago I met this guy and we went out for a few weeks. I was a bit dubious about going out with him because he was 8 years younger than me, but he seemed charming so i thought what the hell, age is just a number! Anyway he was re...
A. 27 April 2008: He is neither conning you or messing you around for kicks, he is just being himself. You need to stop leading him on and tell him what you think and stop being so damn curious about his behavior. You obviously don't love him, so leave it for someone ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant with his baby and didn't know he was married! I really need some help!
Q. I have fallen in love and had a 1 yr affair with a married 53 yr. old man that has been married for 18 years and has 2 kids (17 and 13yrs). I didn't know he was married until 6mo into the relationship. He claims that he is madly in love with me ...
A. 27 April 2008: You know you are making yourself available to an unavailable man. Stop lying to yourself would be a start, and then start being kind to yourself (and him) by stopping seeing him altogether, no matter what. After this, you will be in a situation to ... (read in full...)
How do I make her see that I let her do all the decision making because mine always trouble her?
Q. hi ive been with my gf for 2 years and sometimes it's like she doesn't give a care in the world about me. She acts very annoyed when i let her decide on what to do and where we go. i do it because that way she is happy. she said something ab...
A. 27 April 2008: Get romantic brother! She can't claim to be bored when she would feel guilty doing so. Plan, plan, plan. Food, flowers, destinations. Get creative. Stuff hockey, who wants to hear that, but it's hard to speak when there's a tongue in your ear!... (read in full...)
Last night me and my boyfriend had an argument, it was over something silly-do I beg him not to leave me now?
Q. Last night me and my boyfriend had an argument, it was over something silly but it went from something little to big. He said he felt trapped and im always on his case, ive said im sorry so many time and how i need him and truely love him, im begin...
A. 27 April 2008: Hey sister! He needs time and if he is anything like me he will enjoy a couple of days off. Let it be. He wants to think and to have a rest. Don't worry, things will be better after he feels better. It is like this in all relationships!... (read in full...)
Any tips to get rid of bags under eyes?
Q. Hi i'm just wondering does anybody have any tips to get rid of bags under your eyes? i'm only 13 and i've had them for ages, even though i get enough sleep! ...
A. 27 April 2008: The sure fire way to get rid of bags is to forgive those who have wronged you and to sleep with less pillows. xxx.... (read in full...)
Should stay with her and forget about her past, even though alot of my friends know about her past and make fun of me for it?
Q. Hello I am in a situation which i myself do not know what to do and need some help. I met this girl a couple months ago and we started dating and shes amazing, the thing is her past shes been with alot of guys and alot of them are messed up an...
A. 27 April 2008: Don't worry. Chalk this one up to experience. The experience of the fact that no matter what people say about others, it is about how YOU experience them that matters, and what you think that matters to them. That said, you are young and this long ... (read in full...)
Will it be different to have sex with a white girl since my new girlfriend is coloured?
Q. hi i've been going out with this girl for about 2months now and we'eve agreed to have sex together pretty soon. but will it be different to have sex with a white girl since my new girlfriend is coloured? is it any better having sex with a coloured...
A. 27 April 2008: Simple. Yes. It will be different. She is a different person. Get used to it.... (read in full...)
I'm becoming more interested in gay sex, what is wrong with me?
Q. This is a bit of a strange question but one I am curious about. You know how some men find two women together a turn on, well I find two guys together a turn on. I've got this problems which just seems to get bigger and bigger, I feel as if I am ...
A. 27 April 2008: Enjoy it for what it is. And what is it? It is a thought. It is part of you. There is nothing wrong and nothing right about it. Some fantasies are harmful, but this is part of growing into YOU! It won't last forever, but enjoy it while it does.... (read in full...)
I just want to know if I like men...but I'm challenging that, to know for sure if I do or not.
Q. I am doubting my love for my b/f because of questioning sexuality. I asked a question just a week ago and people said that I should stick with him (and i want to) because I love him, but I'm questioning that now. I'm questioning if i truly am attr...
A. 27 April 2008: This may seem hard, but enjoy your time of confusion if he is good to you. There is no harm in continuing things as they are for a small (underlined) time if there is nothing wrong. Your thoughts will become clear in time but don't give up what you ... (read in full...)
Is he gay? He's my first gay love help!
Q. Im 16 bi and I met this guy about 6 months ago, at first it seems like nothing special but later on I started to like him. Where not friends but know each other. He doesnt know that Im bi but I acted like one. He's my first gay love and would li...
A. 27 April 2008: He is probably not gay and you have a gay crush which is natural. Don't tell him anything otherwise you will not be able to spend time with him. After you spend time with him you will know if he is as "manly" as he acts because there will be ... (read in full...)
He gave me everything, he said he would never finish with me and he has now, I'm heartbroken please help me x
Q. i have been with my fiance for 6 years and we have a 4 year old son together, we split up recently because he hit me, but i forgave him, i love him so much and he said he finished so he doesnt do it again, which i do understand, but if you love ...
A. 27 April 2008: You need to feel heartbroken to feel complete. You know the answer. He is not for you. Let him and you move on. Maybe in time there may be something but you need to grow on your own into your own woman. This is a time of distance. Be strong and ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my virginity yet-His persistance scared me so much I thought he was going to rape me!
Q. I had been dating my boyfriend for 7 months im a virgin and he is not. I have done stuff with him eg oral and jerked him off but not sex. He is getting bored. He says he wants to be inside me and cum inside me and stuff but i dont really want to. ...
A. 27 April 2008: He does not love you I am sorry to say. Stop the relationship now and start out how you were living before you met him, spending time with female friends and family. You will regret it if you let him go further, and he will if you keep on behaving ... (read in full...)
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