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I feel I have made enough mistakes in my life to hopefully help people when they get into a similar situation. This site is fantastic just for getting your feelings off your chest and to get some advice from people who wont judge you, I really enjoy just being a part of this and helping in any way I can!
I will happily admit that I dont have vast amounts of wisdom on marriage, bereavement and many other topics but I would never respond to a question where I feel I dont have enough personal experience to help in any way.
I hope you find some hope and meaning in my advice but always remember, do what feels right to you in your heart, not what someone tells you to do on here. We are only here to help, the hard bit is for you to make the decision yourself! |
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| Latest articles: Male Vs Female; A Debate On The Male Obsession With A Woman’s Past
This question has 33 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 August 2009: After recently seeing a large number of posts on this site from men asking how to deal with a woman’s sexual past, I wondered why men were so concerned with something that at the end of the day, cannot be changed. So I entered into a conversation ...
For all those teenagers worried if they may be pregnant/got their girlfriend pregnant...!
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 February 2009: After reading many posts on this website recently from worried teens about whether or not they are pregnant, I would like to offer some advice to you all. 1. If you have had a period after the incident then it is highly unlikely you are pregnant...
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Time for a break or time to settle down?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, since we were 17. He was my first everything as well as my best friend and I really care about him. However, now that we're coming to the end of our degrees, we've started planning what we're going to d...
A. 25 March 2014: I tend to sit in the camp that you shouldnt stay with your teenage love, especially when they are your 'first' everything, you learn so much more about yourself by broadening your horizons and spending time with new people. How can you learn what ... (read in full...)
My Gf finds flatulence disgusting. I am afraid to share a bed with her because of it. What can I do?
Q. i cant sleep at night with my gf, we have been together for two years now but we are LD, we have reach a very acceptable level of comfort with each other, but i cant still pass gas in front of her, not yet. she finds it disgusting. Every nigh...
A. 25 March 2014: Passing gas is normal, and I'd say there was something wrong with your relationship if she couldnt get over a couple of farts at night.
HOWEVER I would suggest that if you have a lot of gas at night, then your diet is to blame and you should c... (read in full...)
Is it normal to be anxious after becoming engaged?
Q. Did I just make a huge mistake accepting a proposal? I've been dating a wonderful man for about six months, and he just proposed yesterday. I love him, and I feel like I can see myself having a happy life with him. I am freaking out right n...
A. 24 March 2014: I got engaged last year and am getting married this August - I was super excited for him to propose and only felt happiness after saying yes. I also couldnt wait to start planning the wedding and am hugely looking forward to being his wife.
So to... (read in full...)
Fell pregnant after a holiday fling, now he wants to meet to discuss my choice!
Q. I fell pregnant after a holiday fling last year when my group of friend met a few guys at the same hotel. I decided to have an abortion because I wasn't in anyway ready for a child. Plus I couldn't see the child's father being supportive at all ...
A. 21 March 2014: It sounds likely that if you go to 'discuss' your choice, then its likely that he is going to be upset and will most likely make you feel worse.
You did what was RIGHT for you at the time, and no-one should make you feel bad about that. Its a re... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about meeting my boyfriend's family
Q. Hello, I have a question! I've been dating this guy for a while, and it's come up in conversation that it's time for me to meet his parents. He's already met mine, but I'm feeling very nervous about meeting his. He has explained to me that his y...
A. 21 March 2014: All you can do is be yourself. Its really obvious when someone is trying too hard to make other people like them, it comes across as fake and can be irritating. Just be polite, smile, be friendly and be interested in his family. Ask them questions ... (read in full...)
She says she wishes she met me earlier.
Q. I have a female friend, She herself greets me and talks to me. She is in a relationship with a guy. But at times she says she wishes she should have met me earlier and that I'm very sweet. She really does try to make an interesting conversation ...
A. 24 February 2014: Sounds like she's just being friendly - dont read anything into it. She's in a relationship anyway so nothing could happen even if you wanted it to. ... (read in full...)
We've both confessed that we like each other, but he seems to be talking less?
Q. We've known eachother for a few months now, met up a couple of times, and as the weeks went by I started to like him. We would talk to each other almost everyday, and feelings got stronger on my part. The other day, we were both flirting like crazy, ...
A. 24 February 2014: Generally if a guy is not chasing you then he's not that into you - simple as that.
I think you've taken him by surprise by admitting you like him, the comment about being 'friendly' makes me think he only ever saw you as a friend and didnt ge... (read in full...)
Should I bake and take him a cake?
Q. I am overcoming a long, co-dependent relationship. I have looked into my childhood with help of a counsellor and I understand why I was co-dependent. In order to change and move on I've had to not only look at co-dependency in my past ...
A. 21 February 2014: Dont make one just for him - that is a bit over the top and will probably scare him off. Yes men like women that can cook, but its not hugely important to them and if you start bringing in 'gifts' like this for him he will start to think you are ... (read in full...)
How to save a relationship from being destroyed by depression?
Q. My boyfriend and I have officially been together two months today. I know that may not seem like a very long time, but things became serious very quickly. We met in September and it was love at first sight the moment we walked into class (he is a ...
A. 18 February 2014: I'm sorry but this doesnt sound right - it is highly unlikely one conversation with an ex can cause major depression in the space of 2 weeks. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the the brain, it is a chronic illness that takes months, if not ... (read in full...)
How do I find love?
Q. I am 48 years old I never had a girlfriend nor a serious relationship I am not a bad looking guy but I feel very unwelcome when I try taking to women or asking them out I made a fool out of myself Friday I asked out one of the waitress at the ...
A. 18 February 2014: 99% of women dont want to date George Clooney or Brad Pitt - I certainly dont, and the man I am marrying looks nothing like either of them! He is a pretty average looking guy, 5"9, brown hair and slightly stocky build. He's attractive but not on a ... (read in full...)
Who am I to criticise his looks?
Q. I am 5'4 and quite short. I generally date guys of 6' and have always been very drawn to tall dark haired men 5'11 and above. I have met someone who is really nice and we get in really well. I am finding it hard to adapt to the fact he is quit...
A. 18 February 2014: How short is he exactly? I used to be the same as you, I'm 5"3 and typically only dated men over 6ft. However I then met my now fiance, he is 5"9 - short and stocky, definitely not my usual type. At first I wasnt sure I was attracted to him, we had ... (read in full...)
Is he ready for a relationship?
Q. I recently got into a relationship with a close friend of mine (February 14, 2014), and we've been taking things slowly. He seems like he's happy about this, but I have a slight feeling that he's scared to commit to being in a relationship. If that ...
A. 18 February 2014: "is it a smart idea to go slow and not worry so much about the fact that we're dating?" - YES.
PDA's are not the be all and end all, the most important thing is how he acts when you are alone. After all, a relationship is between 2 people, ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend didn't make enough effort on Valentines Day.
Q. My boyfriend of 10 months dint give me anything for valentines day, I'm not being superficial but I thought he'd atleast put in some effort because I took a lot of time in picking his gift and brought him 2 things, not that I was expecting anything ...
A. 18 February 2014: This is a major difference between men and women - when a woman says "oh dont worry about getting me anything, I'm not bothered" it secretly means "if you dont get anything I'll be upset for weeks - I want you to surprise me". Problem is men dont ... (read in full...)
Husband has many female friends. They don't want to be friends with me, just him. Am I overreacting in being upset?
Q. My husband got a lot of female friends that called him at least 5 times a day for advice and to talk, he told me to talked to them cause they are nice and he wants us to be friends too but when I tried to reach out for them (add them on Facebook) ...
A. 18 February 2014: Ask your husband to arrange for you to go out to dinner or for a drink with his female friends - not all at the same time obviously but over the space of a few months meet them in person with your husband (i.e. the 3 of you go out together, or if ... (read in full...)
Why do all women judge me by my weight and looks?
Q. Why do all women immediately judge me by how overweight and ugly I am and give me disgusted looks? No matter where I go in public women look down upon me. The constant glares female strangers give me is really becoming bothersome. I try and smil...
A. 5 February 2014: This is going to sound a little harsh and I apologise in advance, but you have asked for real answers so a real answer is what you are going to get.
You say you are overweight - how much overweight are we talking? Unfortunately if you are seve... (read in full...)
Why did he start playing games? How should I respond?
Q. I met this guy on tinder and we started talking and hit it off right away... turns out we have tons of mutual friends. He was nothing but reliable and up for texting for hours. I found it nice that he even called me as most guys just text these ...
A. 31 January 2014: The fact that you havent even been on a date yet shows he was never really interested from the start, I think you have just mis-read the situation I'm afraid.
You HUNG OUT. With FRIENDS. That is not a date. That is the behaviour of a guy who does... (read in full...)
Girlfriend keeps pressuring me to perform oral and I hate it.
Q. I don't know how to say all this without coming out like an asshole but please hear me out. My girlfriend keeps pressuring me to go down on her because she goes down on me but I really don't want to. I've tried it before with several girls ...
A. 31 January 2014: You need to *TACTFULLY* talk to her about this. So dont say what you have said here, she will get very upset and offended.
Explain that you dont enjoy giving women oral sex, you have had this problem in the past and unfortunately you have not... (read in full...)
Did she lost her virginity to a dildo?
Q. I have not too much experience with girls, Ive been dating this girl for a while. We dated and we had oral but not nothing further. then after a few dates later she finally decided to have sex with me. Not long ago she told me she bought online a ...
A. 20 December 2013: How on earth can a girl 'seem like a virgin'?! What in gods name were you expecting?!
This makes me really angry - losing your virginity is HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME. In this girl's case WITH A MAN, NOT A PIECE OF PLASTIC.
There are mil... (read in full...)
If I sleep with him, am I just setting myself up to get hurt in the end?
Q. This guy I like has a girlfriend and two kids and so I thought I'd never have a chance with him. We text a lot, and he started asking me sexual questions. I'm a virgin, never done anything. Well he asked me to send him pictures, naked pictures to be ...
A. 20 December 2013: The quick answer is a huge YES.
This guy isnt interested in you as a person, he doenst want a relationship with you - he just sees you as a sexual being, he sees your virginity as a prize and he wants to take it.
DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM. He won... (read in full...)
MY boyfriend is convinced I'm cheating and I'm not
Q. Hi there. I am writing because I have no one else to turn to really. So let me just get to it. Ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months. I love him to bits but being with him is litrally killing me. Today I found my boyfriends profile ...
A. 20 December 2013: Lets get this straight first - HE IS CHEATING ON YOU. Ok so he might not be physically cheating, but he is emotionally cheating and that can be just as bad, if not worse, in some cases. He is forming emotional connections on social media sites and ... (read in full...)
I have a chance to be with someone nice and I don't seem to want it
Q. I'm sitting here and i hope that i can get some advice as i don't know who to ask. I'm 26 and apart from a 3 year relationship, i'm just being honest, i have been with a lot of women. I look after myself and am good looking and i love going out t...
A. 25 November 2013: She's just not right for you - simple as that. Ok so you cant identify what is missing, she is lovely and nice and is everything you THINK you want, but clearly there is something missing that you are not aware of yet.
When you meet the right gi... (read in full...)
She treats her friends better than me. I'm tired of doing all the giving. Time to end things?
Q. Hello Guy, I need some help. I'm a 24 year old young man who's about to finish up college in May. I'm at a point where I'm trying to make the decision to cut certain people out of my life because I don't need any unnecessary stress. This inc...
A. 25 November 2013: If after 5 years she is still hard work and is not showing that she REALLY likes you or wants to commit to a future then I dont think there is much point in continuing.
She doesnt sound like a particularly nice person to be honest, you give and... (read in full...)
How can I help my son financially without it causing further tension?
Q. 21 November 2013: My 29 year old son has just got himself a good job but he is on 6 months probation before his position is confirmed. He needs a car to get to and from work and has no money to fund the purchase himself. He is unlikely to be able to ...
A. 21 November 2013: He is being incredibly selfish and ungrateful - you cant be soft with him anymore and you need to put your foot down. He either considers a cheaper model that is better value for money, or he doesnt get a car at all and has to find his own way to ... (read in full...)
I feel I need to warn other women on the dating website about this aggressive jerk
Q. I need help dealing with a situation. About 18 months ago I met a guy. He was fine and gentlemanly. On the fourth date, he got quite intimidating and clearly wanted sex. He got lairy. I was scared and intimidated but luckily as he did not have ...
A. 21 November 2013: I dont think there is anything you can do I'm afraid apart from elaborating further to the dating site, maybe even ringing them if you can. You need to go to town on the part where he was aggressive with you and make it very clear that you were ... (read in full...)
Should I uproot my child to be with this man?
Q. My dilemma is simple. I am a young single mother who has always lived in California. A year ago I met a man from Texas who was here on business but decided to let him have my number and things progressed. Because of business he was here quite a ...
A. 19 November 2013: Ok in light of your follow up then I would say go for it - but only if he proposes before you move. As Sageoldguy said, you are giving up a lot to be with him, all the power is in his hands in this situation and he stands to lose nothing, whereas if ... (read in full...)
Should I uproot my child to be with this man?
Q. My dilemma is simple. I am a young single mother who has always lived in California. A year ago I met a man from Texas who was here on business but decided to let him have my number and things progressed. Because of business he was here quite a ...
A. 18 November 2013: My first question would be why cant he move to California? Ok so he has a good job, but if he is so good at his job he should be able to find a new job in the same field in California.
Second question - what is your child's relationship like wit... (read in full...)
Should I trust my boyfriend that he didn't cheat?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend rarely goes out drinking but he was out on Saturday night with his (single) friend. I have trust issues and I can get a bit paranoid and jealous.i did the wrong thing and looked at his mobile phone call history.(we live...
A. 18 November 2013: If this is the only 1 thing that he has ever done that has made you doubt him, then to be honest I think he is telling the truth.
If he rarely goes out drinking then clearly he is not the type that goes out frequently hitting on women, so him c... (read in full...)
How do I get my friend to give him a chance?
Q. I have this friend who has never had a boyfriend before and she feels really bad about it. She's the nicest person in the world to where she's TOO TOO nice. She is pretty but she's self conscience about her teeth being grayed out even tho it's not ...
A. 18 November 2013: That's still not really the right idea - all teenage girls talk about boys, that is perfectly natural and very normal. Just because a girl talks about boys, does not mean that she is actually ready for a boyfriend. Part of the process BEFORE being ... (read in full...)
I'm hesitant about moving in w/boyfriend because he teaches out of his home and there would be no privacy!
Q. Hello everyone, I'm looking for some advice please either from people who have been in a similar situation before or just those who have an opinion on what I should do. So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years. We have recently...
A. 15 November 2013: No I think you are well justified and I would feel the same. He is not willing to compromise at all yet you are expected to be ok with sharing your home with noise, customers etc which is the last thing you want when you get in from work.
I thi... (read in full...)
I think she might be the one, but she's with someone else
Q. have i found the one? i`ve met this girl 2 months ago n in 2 months we grown to be good friends and i am developing feelings for her trouble is she is already in a relationship but she seems to like me n spends more time with me than she does her ...
A. 15 November 2013: In 2 months there is no way of knowing if you have met 'the one', it is too soon. Also, I highly doubt that she will be 'the one' if she is only 19, she might like you know but she will grow up and mature a lot over the next few years and she will ... (read in full...)
How do I get my friend to give him a chance?
Q. I have this friend who has never had a boyfriend before and she feels really bad about it. She's the nicest person in the world to where she's TOO TOO nice. She is pretty but she's self conscience about her teeth being grayed out even tho it's not ...
A. 15 November 2013: Look you cant force someone to want a boyfriend, you cant force someone to flirt, you cant create confidence for her and most of all you are not being a very good friend by putting so much pressure on her.
I know you think you are helping ... (read in full...)
Too soon to move on?
Q. Hi there. I'm 20 and 2 1/2 months ago my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me. He said he loves me and is happy with me but I'm not "the one". We never had any big arguments but he said we "aren't right" for each other. At first I was really upset but the ...
A. 15 November 2013: Erm your friend has issues if he/she thinks that all 20 year old girls should be jumping into bed with a guy she has only liked for the last month. DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS FRIEND.
Dating, sex, relationships - all should be taken at YOUR own pace... (read in full...)
Me and my ex are going to be at the same event. how should I act?
Q. Me and my boyfriend has broke up for almost 4 months, he was the one who broke up with me. I recently found out me and my ex are going to the same climbing event. There will be around 20-25 people going. It's a online meetup group event, and I've ...
A. 15 November 2013: I'd just smile at him if you see him - if he comes over to see you then fine, if he doesnt then just smile and carry on chatting to your other friends.
Dont go rushing over there to say hi, that's a bit keen and a bit weird - like you were wai... (read in full...)
His ex wife now wants my husband to have supervised visits because his daughter seen us have an argument!
Q. My husbands ex wife want hem to start having supervice visitation with their 14year old daughter. All because her daughter told her that we had a argument in front of her and that she no longer wants to come over because of that.witch I could ...
A. 5 November 2013: She cant just make demands like this, she is using their child to blackmail him and that is not fair.
Get a lawyer involved and see where your husband stands - I presume when he split up with his ex wife they had a custody agreement in place wi... (read in full...)
How can something feel so right yet be so wrong? In love with a married man who loves me too, but also loves his wife and wont leave her.....
Q. I don't know what to do... I don't even know how to start. I never been on any of these sites before.. this is also a long story. I met this man at a work place..once I was working there he texted me and would flirt just a little (he had my numbe...
A. 29 October 2013: Look you know this is wrong, yet you cant bring yourself to stay away. You have to think about it this way:
You have a choice; either remain his dirty little secret, this will go on for years perhaps unless his wife finds out....e... (read in full...)
He keeps flaking out on plans
Q. Hi, There is a guy on my university degree who for the past year has been showing interest. We have never spoke in person (just hey, you alright?) We have different friendship groups and were both abit shy around each other. We speak on fac...
A. 29 October 2013: He's not interested. Move on.
Sorry to be harsh but money or no money, if he really liked you he would have took you out on a date months ago. There are plenty of cheap/free things to do - a walk in the park on a nice day, a simple coffee i... (read in full...)
Are we headed for a future break-up? I don't want to lose him
Q. I'm needing some serious advice/help with my boyfriend of 3 years. We're the same age, don't live together, and spend weekends/any times we can find in our work schedules together. Over the last few months things have gotten really rocky. We've ...
A. 29 October 2013: Hmmm this doesnt seem right to me. Lets look at this in a simple, succinct way:
The relationship has gone bad because you have changed and he is not happy with the new you.
So the biggest question is - why have you changed? And dont say it ... (read in full...)
He asked me for a date but its been 5 days since I've heard from him. Is it rude to break the date?
Q. Over email, a guy asked me to go out with him on day xyz. I replied, said yes that day sounds good. It has been five days and I haven't gotten his reply confirming the date and time with me. I know he can be busy or had an emergency but re...
A. 29 October 2013: To be honest I'd say he is not that interested - if he was he would have been in touch to arrange a date by now, and he would have taken your number on the night you met as well.
I think he was chatting to you for so long that he felt he should a... (read in full...)
He asked me for a date but its been 5 days since I've heard from him. Is it rude to break the date?
Q. Over email, a guy asked me to go out with him on day xyz. I replied, said yes that day sounds good. It has been five days and I haven't gotten his reply confirming the date and time with me. I know he can be busy or had an emergency but re...
A. 28 October 2013: It depends on how much you like him and how flexible your female friends are. If I were you I'd do the following - tell your friends that you are supposed to be going on a date that night but have not heard from the guy to confirm what time, and ... (read in full...)
My uncontrollable vanity and low self-esteem are ruining my life
Q. I am obsessed with photos and not in a good way. I spend many hours of my life constantly worrying about documenting what I do so that I can have a good view of my life in the future. Subsequently I scrutinize them to the point of obsession and cons...
A. 28 October 2013: I think this is a bit beyond the remit of a bunch of strangers on the net - you are letting this affect you so seriously that I think you would be best speaking to a professional therapist/counsellor.
Please dont take that the wrong way, you are ... (read in full...)
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