My friend hasn't spoken to us since we bought a bigger house
Q. Last year me and my husband (child free by choice ) sold our property for a bigger house. We wanted more space and we’re very lucky that our house sold quickly and we were able to find a house we liked. Our friends around the same ...
A. 23 March 2022: Interestingly, I’m going through a very similar thing right now. Two of my long time friends have barely spoken to me and my partner since we moved from a two bedroom flat to a new four bedroom house, and we’ve heard they’ve been making comments ... (read in full...)
Who is to blame for initiating the wife swap?
Q. when a husband asks his wife if she would agree to a wife swap she then says no,then he asks again and she says she will think about it, and then decides she would do so knowing her yes would mean an almost certain swap would then happen. where ...
A. 22 January 2022: No-one is saying we’ve not ‘strayed from the righteous path’ as you put it. We’re saying we don’t try to shift the blame to others when we do. I’m glad you and your wife are okay now.... (read in full...)
Who is to blame for initiating the wife swap?
Q. when a husband asks his wife if she would agree to a wife swap she then says no,then he asks again and she says she will think about it, and then decides she would do so knowing her yes would mean an almost certain swap would then happen. where ...
A. 18 January 2022: So you’re saying that if someone pesters another person until they do something, it’s the person who finally gives in that is really to blame for that thing then happening?! Come on dude! The person whose idea it was, who wanted it so much they kept ... (read in full...)
The man I'm going to marry still wears his deceased wife's rings around his neck. How do I approach this subject?
Q. Ok so this may be a difficult one… I’m getting married next summer (provided there isn’t another sodding pandemic). My husband-to-be is a really wonderful man and I’m so lucky to have him. However… He still wears his and his first wife’s w...
A. 9 July 2021: I don’t think you’re being insensitive or petty at all OP. I think your post makes you sound like a lovely person, who not only has taken on an incredible amount of baggage, but you have done so with grace and understanding. Many people would ... (read in full...)
Loves to Fly Solo Doesn't Want Partnered Play
Q. Hi. My wife and I have been together for over 37 years. We have a contentious relationship, but used to have a great sex life. In the last 10 years it has been decreasing steadily to a frequency of once per month if I lobby hard. She typically says ...
A. 27 June 2021: Actually I’ve just noticed that you described your relationship as ‘contentious’ but despite that your sex life was always good. I’d suggest that might be somewhere to start. Women normally need a deeper connection to have sex anyway, but even if ... (read in full...)
Loves to Fly Solo Doesn't Want Partnered Play
Q. Hi. My wife and I have been together for over 37 years. We have a contentious relationship, but used to have a great sex life. In the last 10 years it has been decreasing steadily to a frequency of once per month if I lobby hard. She typically says ...
A. 27 June 2021: Personally, if my husband was such a crazy micromanager that he checked the ENERGY METERS in our house in an attempt to calculate the exact number of times I used my sex toys, I’d probably plug them in all night every night just to wind him up! But ... (read in full...)
How do you guys deal with partners complaining about weight.
Q. How do you guys deal with partners complaining about weight. Like I’m getting so fed up. I personally have been getting anxiety as I have not been able to hit my goals due to lockdown. So I spent some money and purchased some equipment. It’s ...
A. 5 March 2021: I should add, despite his profession the book doesn’t recommend weight loss surgery unless it’s an absolute last resort.... (read in full...)
How do you guys deal with partners complaining about weight.
Q. How do you guys deal with partners complaining about weight. Like I’m getting so fed up. I personally have been getting anxiety as I have not been able to hit my goals due to lockdown. So I spent some money and purchased some equipment. It’s ...
A. 5 March 2021: I’d recommend telling her to read the book ‘Why we eat (too much)’. It’s written by a doctor that specialises in weight loss surgery. He’s done a lot of research on the people he treats and explains why some people really struggle with obesity ... (read in full...)
His cooking style annoys me
Q. When my boyfriend cooks, he never follows a recipe. He will add random ingredients (ones that in my view really don’t work with the recipe) or add the wrong quantities. Doesn’t matter if he’s cooking sweet or savoury, it’s always the same. The ...
A. 2 February 2021: I don’t believe it matters one iota if he likes to cook or not. It doesn’t sound like you particularly enjoy it either since you’re saying you don’t want to do it all yourself, so why should it all fall on you? If this is a sneaky attempt to get you ... (read in full...)
I need to know if people are capable of change when it comes to cheating?
Q. I need to know if people are capable of change when it comes to cheating? I broke up with my partner of 10 years and father to my child 18 months ago. We had a good relationship. There were a couple of niggles - he was slightly stricter bringi...
A. 15 October 2020: I cheated on someone once in my life. I was 18 and slept with my ex boyfriend after a night out when I was dating someone else. I woke up the next day and felt so sick I cut both of them off and have never done anything like that ever again. I am ... (read in full...)
I went to a stripclub my girlfriend broke up with me because of it
Q. I need advice. My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me after she found out me and my guy friends went to a stripclub and got lap dances. I mentioned to her that they were pressuring me into going but told her that i did not really care to go. But ...
A. 15 October 2020: Dude you cheated on her! And before you say to yourself it wasn’t cheating/it was ‘just’ a strip club, ask yourself why you think it’s not cheating to let another woman touch you sexually in exchange for money when it wouldn’t be ok to do it for ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to share nude and erotic photos with best friend?
Q. Is it ok to share nude and erotic photos with best friend?...
A. 9 October 2020: Do you mean photos of each other? Or do you mean photos someone else has given/sent you that you want to show to your friend?... (read in full...)
Do I leave her because we only have sex every 3 months?
Q. In a relationship over three years sex only once in three months ,she know i want it but she comes up with all these excuses , and women wonder why men cheat, am tired of doing my self, so am i suppose to tell her , i need sex , or am going to get ...
A. 28 September 2020: It sounds as if you are incompatible sexually. If she is not willing to change that and sex on a more regular basis is important to you, then yes you need to break up.
However I will say this. If you speak to your partner the way you worded y... (read in full...)
My married bf gave up the best sex with me to go back to a sexless marriage. How is that even possible?
Q. I'm hoping to get advice from all of you wise people because I have no idea what's going on. My married boyfriend left me. He said he's going back to his marriage because his wife found out about us. We've been together for several years. I...
A. 16 September 2020: Assuming of course that he doesn’t actually have sex with his wife... (which incidentally I very much doubt! Mistresses always say they KNOW their married men are being honest about that, but how can they? They’re not honest about anything else so ... (read in full...)
Bf masturbated to his female friend, considering leaving him
Q. my bf of 6 months has a hot female friend that posts sexy fb photos everyday showing her body and posts flirty comments on my bf's profile. they have been friends for a decade, still go out from time to time and are still in touch. they have never ...
A. 3 September 2020: No, all guys don’t do this! I’d feel exactly the same as you. I also don’t mind my bf using porn (unless it impacts on the relationship) but not when he’s getting off to women he knows. I bet he wouldn’t like it one bit if you were doing the same ... (read in full...)
Wife no longer desires sex. Do I just go without?
Q. How did I get into this? I am a retired/disabled mechanical engineer. My disability is neuropathy, but I do not have diabetes. I live with extreme pain everyday. I married my Wife in 1993, and I married my best friend. I love her with all my h...
A. 26 May 2020: Thanks OP.
I feel bad for you because it’s obviously a horrible situation to be in, but honestly I don’t think you’re going to get what you want here.
Your wife has a very serious condition that means it can hurt to even hold her hand, so eve... (read in full...)
Wife no longer desires sex. Do I just go without?
Q. How did I get into this? I am a retired/disabled mechanical engineer. My disability is neuropathy, but I do not have diabetes. I live with extreme pain everyday. I married my Wife in 1993, and I married my best friend. I love her with all my h...
A. 16 May 2020: OP can I ask, you say your wife doesn’t want you to have to masturbate for relief. Do you not? The answer to that question will impact my answer. Thanks... (read in full...)
The disparity between our financial situations is causing problems in the relationship
Q. Hello everybody, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am after some advice on some financial/relationship issues. My boyfriend and I own a house together. We each put in as big deposit as we could afford at the time. His was much bigge...
A. 27 April 2020: My ex boyfriend was exactly like this. Everything was counted up to the penny, and if he ever contributed more than me for anything I never heard the end of it. That’s despite the fact he earned around double what I did at the time.
He said he ... (read in full...)
I just need another person's perspective on boyfriend's attitude when we are gaming.
Q. Hello everybody. I would like peoples honest opinions on the way my partner sometimes speaks to me, as I feel he could be more tactful with his words sometimes. I will give one recent example from the other night. We were playing a two player g...
A. 29 January 2020: I have to say I’m a little surprised at some of the other comments you’ve received OP. As if it’s ok for him to swear at you and belittle you because he’s passionate about his game. He might also be really passionate about eating his favourite ... (read in full...)
My live in boyfriend is allergic to my cats.
Q. Hello and thank you for any advice and opinions. I have a beautiful family of 5. My bf 3 cats ( midnight, xena, and princess) and a dog ( max). I have had my first cat midnight for about 4 years, my cat xena for about 3 years, my cats pri...
A. 17 January 2020: Honestly OP, I think you have to get rid of them. I don’t think there’s any way you can justify putting your boyfriend’s health at risk to the point he’s coughing up blood to keep your cats around. It’s not like he’s not given it a good try for you ... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable with the thought of my boyfriend having lap dances with naked girls.
Q. My bf of 5 years recently went on a stag do and went to a strip club. I didn't have a problem with this as he was open about it and stayed in touch whilst away. We have a strong relationship and I trust him due to the honesty. However on a recent ...
A. 9 January 2020: What is acceptable does come down to the individual, but for what it’s worth OP I agree with you. In my mind it works like this - if something is unacceptable without money changing hands, then it’s unacceptable if it is paid for too. So like you, I ... (read in full...)
My GF is not a virgin but want have sex with me until we marry.
Q. I am dating a girl who is 40 years old , it’s almost two months . We have great chemistry but I have one issue. She don’t want to have sex until we marry. She is not virgin ( someone raped her ) I don’t think she has to refuse sex If she is not ...
A. 25 November 2019: This question surely can’t be real?
OP she was raped! Someone forcibly took her virginity from her in what must have been a very traumatic experience, yet you believe that she should now be willing to have sex with you because of it? RAPE IS ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to reconcile so why does she care if I'm drinking or not?
Q. My wife has moved out of our home because I drink alcohol. Since she moved, she had several times if I am drinking. She, does not want to reconcile. So, why does she keep asking if I am drinking when we talk by phone? Thank you for your answers....
A. 23 November 2019: She has been driven out of her marriage by your alcohol abuse. This doesn’t mean she no longer cares, it means she can’t continue to watch you slowly killing yourself. She asks because she is desperately hoping that losing her might have made you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 15 years slept with another man and is now telling me it was just a mistake
Q. My boyfriend of 15 years slept with a guy he’d been messaging online, while I was working. He says it was a terrible mistake and he was just curious. As it turns out he’s been in gay sites for years but never did anything physical about it, till ...
A. 21 November 2019: You can check with Citizens Advice to find out what your rights are with regards to getting him out. I’m not sure why one of you would have to move 6 hours away though - you can travel half the length of the UK in that time (it’s approx 13 hours to ... (read in full...)
It seems impossible to satisfy her sexually and it's giving me second thoughts
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months is unhappy with the amount of sex in our relationship. Tonight we had (in my opinion) a nice date and then had sex for 30 minutes ~ 1 hour and when I took her home, she just sat in pissed off silence the whole way (30 ...
A. 31 October 2019: To Fatherly Advice, if the situation were the same I’d completely agree with you but in my view it’s not.
If a woman wrote in here saying her boyfriend was pissed off that she had ended sex after she orgasmed without asking if he was also hap... (read in full...)
It seems impossible to satisfy her sexually and it's giving me second thoughts
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months is unhappy with the amount of sex in our relationship. Tonight we had (in my opinion) a nice date and then had sex for 30 minutes ~ 1 hour and when I took her home, she just sat in pissed off silence the whole way (30 ...
A. 31 October 2019: Also I meant to say, you say this is giving you second thoughts about your relationship. To that I ask you - do you really love her? Because if having to do a bit of work to find out what she likes and make sure she is enjoying your sex life as much ... (read in full...)
It seems impossible to satisfy her sexually and it's giving me second thoughts
Q. My girlfriend of 8 months is unhappy with the amount of sex in our relationship. Tonight we had (in my opinion) a nice date and then had sex for 30 minutes ~ 1 hour and when I took her home, she just sat in pissed off silence the whole way (30 ...
A. 31 October 2019: Ok so the frequency she has asked for is obviously not feasible, but I think if you can increase the QUALITY of the sex you are having, you’ll find she’ll be much more satisfied.
The first thing that jumps out about your post is that you say you ... (read in full...)
I Havent Heard From My Boyfriend In Two Days After A Fight Concerning Commitment/Marriage. Should I contact him or give him his space?
Q. Hello everyone Bf and I have been dating for three years now. For the most part, we have a very solid relationship. We agree on most salient things and enjoy laughing with each other. We have even considered moving in with one another, somethin...
A. 8 July 2019: I’ve been in a situation very similar to yours before, so I totally understand where you’re coming from. And as much as it pains me to say it, I think you should seriously consider ending your relationship for a couple of reasons.
First... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with a woman 30 years younger than me with a boyfriend
Q. I fell in love with a woman 30 years younger than me i behave she is my true love we have spend hours talking about everything but she treats me like a dad i think about her day and night her a boy friend\ fiance lives with her he hurts and abuse ...
A. 17 June 2019: You might believe she is your true love, OP, but she doesn’t. You said it yourself that she treats you like a dad, so she isn’t going to change her mind and start having romantic feelings for you, no matter how nice you are to her. You need to ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to lie about a vasectomy?
Q. I just ended a 10 month relationship. I ended it because he admitted he lied to me about having a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. Is this a common occurrence? I have never heard of a man lying about birth control before and I am ...
A. 6 June 2019: It’s a huge deal OP and you know it is. Your reaction is completely normal so don’t let him convince you otherwise. I’m sure if the shoe were on the other foot and you’d lied about being on the pill, he’d be just as angry as you are. And rightly so, ... (read in full...)
Wife called the shots on defining the limits of our sex life...
Q. My wife and I have been married for over 20 years, and together as a couple since we were barely teens. Starting out that young as a couple, there were infidelities on my part in high school. Then in a couple of years' span that we were apart ...
A. 1 April 2019: It is this sort of mindset that has caused the rise of the me too movement and calls for ‘enthusiastic consent’ laws. I know you might think that sounds harsh OP, but I ask you to consider the following:
You have asked your wife to partake ... (read in full...)
My wife knows I don't want children and remarked that she could easily just "accidentally" get pregnant
Q. Dear cupid, I've been married for the past 7 years (plus 6 more of dating). Lots of ups and downs of course, but I think we've been improving - or at least I am. Yesterday my wife said something (another one... yeah, maybe I suck at relationsh...
A. 1 April 2019: Honestly? I think this is actually very straightforward and you are way overcomplicating matters in your mind.
Your wife is both processing her feelings out loud as she tries to determine whether she can accept the fact she will never have chi... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever lost their libido to this degree due to boredom and lack of emotional connection and was I selfish for not being a sexually dutiful partner?
Q. Thank you to anyone who reads and responds to my post. I recently separated from a 9 year relationship, 4 years living together. I'm not sure if I have done the right thing but what I do know is that I am heart broken knowing I have broken his ...
A. 9 February 2019: I was in a very similar situation with my ex boyfriend, and in my opinion you did exactly the right thing.
I lost my libido because, like you, my ex was only interested in meeting his own needs and not mine. However, I’m the type of person t... (read in full...)
I'm unhappy with the relationship want to end it but partner acts like nothing is wrong
Q. Hi guys. Im in deseperate need of advice because im literally at my wits end. My bf is 8 yrs younger than me. We have a 3 yr old together and i have a tennager daughter from a previous relationship. We had a whirlwind romance and i ended up pregnant ...
A. 28 January 2019: ‘On the other hand a guy with a job, who cleans house and cooks, How are you going to replace that?’
It makes me really sad that society applauds men for the most basic of human skills. He SHOULD have a job and know how to feed and clean up after... (read in full...)
I love him but since his massive weight gain don't find him attractive enough for sex
Q. Hi, okay so I really hope I don’t come across as been an absolute bitch here but I could really use some help!! So. My partner has put on a lot of weight. A good 4/5 stone! He was around 12 stone when we met. He’s 6ft3 so was really slim, I’ve alw...
A. 24 December 2018: I think the difference is the OP’s weight hasn’t changed since the relationship started but her partner’s has. So it’s safe to assume he is attracted to her as she is. It’s not hypocritical to ask someone to keep themselves in similar shape to how ... (read in full...)
My body turned him off ... he preferred to watch porn.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend of 10 years a few months ago and he's really effected my self esteem. He said quite hurtful things about my body, I'm just looking for some opinions from guys about what kind of imperfections would really put you off. ...
A. 21 August 2018: I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree. I didn’t come here to argue. My original intention was to try to diffuse some of the tension - that’s why I said I understood that your intentions were good, but the delivery could be taken another ... (read in full...)
My body turned him off ... he preferred to watch porn.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend of 10 years a few months ago and he's really effected my self esteem. He said quite hurtful things about my body, I'm just looking for some opinions from guys about what kind of imperfections would really put you off. ...
A. 20 August 2018: Code Warrior, I wasn’t suggesting that you have to find everyone attractive or that you can’t have an opinion on a person's looks. Of course you can. All I was asking you to do was to try to see things from the other side. To accept that it’s ... (read in full...)
My body turned him off ... he preferred to watch porn.
Q. I split up with my boyfriend of 10 years a few months ago and he's really effected my self esteem. He said quite hurtful things about my body, I'm just looking for some opinions from guys about what kind of imperfections would really put you off. ...
A. 20 August 2018: Code Warrior, while the intent of your post was great, I think some posters are reacting to your words as the execution feels like it proves exactly what the original poster was worried about.
I understand you were trying to point out that eve... (read in full...)
I’m sick to my stomach that he had a lap dance on a stag weekend!
Q. My boyfriend recently went on a stag do to Prague and whilst he was there he went to a strip club and the whole group paid for a lap dance off of 2 dancers. Before he left for Prague, I told him that it would really upset me if he got a lap dance ...
A. 15 August 2018: I think some of the posters here have been very harsh to you OP. You discussed this with him beforehand and explained your position on it, to which he agreed, then he went off and did the exact opposite. Yet it’s apparently your fault for not ... (read in full...)
Why are some women adamantly against their husband/boyfriends looking at porn?
Q. I'm just a bit curious. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of ...
A. 29 July 2018: Because although he might not have a chance with the woman, it feels like he’s wishing he did. And that can be hurtful for some women.
The thing many men don’t understand, is that men usually get aroused by looking at naked women, whereas women us... (read in full...)
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