Are you born with STD's? My boyfriend and I just started having unprotected sex...
Q. Are you born with STDs, or do you have to catch them to have one? It's just, me and my boyfriend are each other's firsts, and we've only been with each other. So I'm just checking, you can't be born with them can you? By the way, we don't have un...
A. 19 March 2008: Ok, so yes you can be born with STDs, but it's very rare - if you're each others' firsts then you're at a very low risk. Get yourself checked out, but don't worry about it too much.
Here in the UK every hospital has an STD - or GUI, as I think th... (read in full...)
I consider myself average in all aspects, is it a hindrance?
Q. Hello there, i would like to know readers' honest opinions as to why i just can't get a boyfriend. People i know tell me I'm attractive, and i do get hit on by random guys, but i would like to know why i can't find someone who is genuinely ...
A. 19 March 2008: I'd guess lots of really attractive girls consider themselves as "average" - you need to develop a little bit of self-confidence and a sense of empowerment here.
Guys worship girls! That's why they're hitting on you! You can have any of these ... (read in full...)
I'm a bit disturbed about some clips I've seen in my boyfriend's computer...
Q. I'm a bit disturbed about some clips I've seen in my boyfriend's computer. The setting is in the shower after a seven a side tag rugby match between men and adolescent boys and women, they're all taking a shower together but wearing underpants and ...
A. 19 March 2008: You need to talk to him, not us.
Without context, it's impossible to say whether he's normal or a kiddy-fiddler. If he has a normal collection of completely-adult-and-straight porn then this is just probably something whacky that he download... (read in full...)
No lectures please, I'm staying with him no matter what, I just need to know what to do with my bf who's smoking weed...
Q. I'm 14 and my boyfriend is 15. Okay so here's the stich My boyfriend has lately started on weed again and it has changed him big time, its got to a point were he doesnt care what i say or what i do anymore... Hes yelling at me like everyday now,...
A. 19 March 2008: Dreadful advice from Sexi - if you threaten to leave but don't then he'll just continue to walk all over you forever. Don't issue an ultimatum unless you're completely prepared to see it through.
Don't grass anyone up to the police - that's o... (read in full...)
I keep on faking orgasms but I love my new partner, please help!
Q. I love my new partner. But I don't always have an orgasm with him so I fake it so as to please him. I've been doing for a while and find it tired faking it. What can I do? Please advise....
A. 19 March 2008: Quit faking!
It's dishonest for a start!
There's nothing worse for a guy to hear his girl has been faking, so you seemly need to take a little control and change the direction of your lovemaking. Tell him to use his fingers here, slip his ton... (read in full...)
How are you supposed to keep a strong connection when you only see someone twice a week and no calls in between?
Q. Me and my guy have been seeing each other for 6 weeks now and we are great together but I have one complaint! He doesnt call me much at all I have noticed the last couple of weeks. He will call when I am supposed to come over and maybe a couple ...
A. 19 March 2008: Plus 5-stars to the anonymous uncle.
Guys perceive telephone communication differently to girls. There's some joke on the net which demonstrates this, but also numerous scientific studies. A guy phones his buddy and says "you wanna go fishing ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my worries about blow jobs?
Q. I really kinda need help with this now. When I was kinda young, I had a few problems with a relative, which involved him doing a few.... not so nice things to me at the time. In the start of my teens, I privately went and saw a counsellor, but she ...
A. 19 March 2008: More counselling! The only reason it didn't work before is that you got unlucky with your counsellor - maybe you got one who isn't so good, or more likely you just didn't find one that you "clicked" with.
There are support groups in most towns - ... (read in full...)
I think my daughters' masturbating is going to far.
Q. I am a older guy. My wife died at a really young age. I have 2 daughters. One is 12 and the other is 14 One year ago I caught them masturbating in the bathroom. I told them it was ok and that they have the right to do that to themselves but d...
A. 19 March 2008: To be totally open-minded - they're not hurting anyone and there's no risk of pregnancy - where's the harm? If your daughters were to spend their lives as lesbian lovers, why should it bother anyone else - as long as they're happy, right?
Havin... (read in full...)
I have recently found out that my boyfriend has been texting my friend's sister and met up with her once during the day for lunch.
Q. I have recently found out that my boyfriend has been texting my friend's sister and met up with her once during the day for lunch. When I confronted him he said it is harmless and he thinks she is good fun and was only trying to make a friend from ...
A. 19 March 2008: I'd have no problem if he'd said to you "hey, X's sister is a cool person" - of course you'd recognise this was in a platonic way - "i think i'll have lunch with her when i'm over that way." But he's been hiding it from you - his text indicates t... (read in full...)
Is it possible for us to give each other a STD while having unprotected sex even though we both have gotten tested and they came back clean??
Q. Me and my girlfriend just got tested for HIV and any STD's and we both came out clean. We got tested because she is very very paranoid about getting a STD. My question is: is it possible for us to give each other a STD while having unprotect...
A. 19 March 2008: Hi there, I think the only risk is that some STDs take a few months to become detectable. So best-practice is for 6 months of abstinence and/or safe-sex before the test. I don't think it's uncommon to be tested in the first instance and the... (read in full...)
I wanted to know how other infected people deal with this, and how do they manage to get on with their lives with no sex?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles: I found out in January that my now-ex gave me HPV-genital warts. I couldn't bring myself to forgive him (he had insisted I trust him, that he didn't have anything and that if I didn't trust him then we were over. So I trusted ...
A. 19 March 2008: Two words: support group. I think it'd be really difficult for someone to advise you without being in a similar situation - I really feel for you, but I can't imagine being in your position.... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel like I am making love with my dad, as he's 18 years older than me. Am I abnormal?
Q. I've just divorced my husband of 20 years. He is selfish and unkind. Then Im lucky to meet this man 18 years older than me. He helps me to get my life on track. He makes me feel loved and wanted which I've never felt before. However I feel sick ...
A. 19 March 2008: Some girls like older men and the whole who's-your-Daddy aspect of this, but in order to fall into that category the guy has to be at least 50% older than you and there's nothing intrinsically wrong when one partner is twice the age of the other. ... (read in full...)
My partner who is 10 years older treats me like a child! It ruins my day!
Q. My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year. Everything is usually fine because my bf is very caring and we love each other. But, one thing really bothers me and it often makes me upset. He is 10 years older than me and it is true that he is ...
A. 19 March 2008: I wish I could add to these comments, but really my post is just a "me, too" in agreement with the other replies.
"Emotionally abusing you" may sound like strong words, but this is clearly controlling behaviour. I used to know a girl who was with... (read in full...)
Should I try to make it work or let it go, at least for the next two years??
Q. I was dating my boyfriend for a few months and he had to move 4 hours away. We were too in love to end the relationship. So for the past two years we have carried on a long distance relationship, talking on the phone constantly and him visiting me ...
A. 19 March 2008: You parents thought it inappropriate for an 18-21 year-old to drive a ways to visit her boyfriend? For a 16-year-old, maybe, but you're a young woman now, rapidly becoming an independent and self-supporting one.
What do they want your feller t... (read in full...)
I like this girl but she seems to hate me!
Q. hello, I like this girl but she seems to hate me... and I'm a shy person so I don't talk to her much but from what I have said to her and what she said back I think she hates me. Can anyone give me advice to maybe try to get her to like me.. or ...
A. 19 March 2008: Just move on. It's not worth being a punchbag for someone petty and mean.
Hey! Maybe she does like you in some messed up ponytail-pulling sort of way, but I doubt it, and there's no way for you to get her to reveal her true colours if she does... (read in full...)
Parental Rights
Q. Hello All. Thanks for reading and resonding to my question! :) Here it goes! My girlfriend and I have broken up, and she's 4 months pregnant... with my baby. We were talking about names the other day, and I want to have both last names and she ...
A. 19 March 2008: I've met a few people in the UK who have adopted double-barrel names on remarriage, in order to maintain an identity with their kids, and I wouldn't be surprised if what you suggest is becoming common here, too.
Having said that, I doubt you have... (read in full...)
How can I "talk dirty" to him?
Q. Okay, I have a slight problem. My boyfriend loves, loves, loves to talk dirt. Like across MSN and through texts and in person. I cannot talk dirty to save my life. I have all these things I could say but I can't let them out. And it makes me feel ...
A. 19 March 2008: Ok,
First - don't do anything you're uncomfortable with. If you don't wanna talk dirty, or it doesn't turn you on, then don't do it just because you think it'll help you "keep him", or something like that.
Having said that "I have all these t... (read in full...)
Any young husbands have good advice for a guy that's been married for 4 years and wants to balance friend time with wife time?
Q. Any young husbands have good advice for a guy that's been married for 4 years and wants to balance friend time with wife time? I'm ready for it to not be a hassle to go play a video game with a guy for a few hours. As far as my pre-marriage fri...
A. 19 March 2008: The fact that you need to ask this shows there's a problem - not with you spending too little time with your buddies, but with getting away from her.
"As far as my ... friends, most of them dealt (or didn't in most cases) with me always having h... (read in full...)
I doubt anyone has ever been in such a situation with his girlfriend
Q. Before everyone begins with the "nah bro, dump her dump her" stuff, read it completely, and put yourself in my situation, and atleast TRY to understand how I feel. I'm with a girl right now, and quite frankly, she is amazing. Whether we're talking ...
A. 19 March 2008: I've just gotta weigh in on this one.
Yes, I think it's possible for a cheater to change, but rarely with someone they've already cheated on before (and don't try to become the exception - that way lies only pain). I think that once that boundary... (read in full...)
Love-struck
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm losing my mind, help me please. I am a 24 year old man who always didn't find a way to connect with people on a close and intimate level due to the fact that my way of thinking is completely unacceptable in my community. I hav...
A. 19 March 2008: Ok, a bit of homework reveals the flag next to your name indicates Syria - I guess this illuminated a bit where you're coming from.
I think it's safe to say that there are gays everywhere, and always have been. The conservatives like to use the ... (read in full...)
What do lads think about girls/girlfriend watching porn, a lot???
Q. What do lads think about girls/girlfriend watching porn, a lot!? I just want to know if ye have a problem with girls watching porn. Is it a turn off? I would really appreciate your comments!!!...
A. 19 March 2008: It's a turn on!
Let him watch you watching porn!
Everyone's a winner!!... (read in full...)
Am I taking what he said the wrong way?
Q. My daughter's Dad and I is starting to get along better, again. We've been spending time a lot together and he's been making dinner for me, you know... quality time. Starting all over. There's a couple times last week when I just showed up t...
A. 19 March 2008: It's not uncommon for Martians to confuse the meaning of Venetian's words, and vice versa, but in this case it's not worth worrying about whether he means "i might have a chick in my bed" or "i'd like to have the house tidy".
He's your ex, who ... (read in full...)
She is driving me crazy!!!
Q. I would like to know what people think about this stiuation I'm in.... On Monday me and this girl that i have known for the whole year kissed in class while the class was dark and we were watching a video.... ok this is the order it happenend in ...
A. 19 March 2008: What are you posting here for?
You've got the girl!!
Quit messing your head up over her & start enjoying life with her.
Your unnecessary confusion - it's obvious how she feels about you - isn't doing her any favours. You she kissed you one d... (read in full...)
She is driving me crazy!!!
Q. I would like to know what people think about this stiuation I'm in.... On Monday me and this girl that i have known for the whole year kissed in class while the class was dark and we were watching a video.... ok this is the order it happenend in ...
A. 19 March 2008: What are you posting here for?
You've got the girl!!
Quit messing your head up over her & start enjoying life with her.
Your unnecessary confusion - it's obvious how she feels about you - isn't doing her any favours. You she kissed you one d... (read in full...)
His online profile was enhanced...and I like him as a person but am not attracted to him. What should I do??
Q. I met this guy online. We emailed and eventually had a date. Things went well. I liked him. But these are my issues: 1) picture in his profile must have been at least five years ago, he also seemed shorter than his profile stated and possibly...
A. 16 March 2008: + 5-stars to Tisha for her resumé comments.
I don't think there's anything wrong with fibbing an inch or two on your profile - in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if lots of guys wouldn't even be aware they're doing it. As long as you don't have a s... (read in full...)
Divorced and she uses the kids to hurt me...what can I do??
Q. Hi, I have been divorced with my wife for the last 4 years. She just uses the kids to hurt me. I don't know what to do. I was seeing them before for a little while and i had to work 1 weekend and she didn't like it. From that time she stopped me...
A. 16 March 2008: There are a couple of UK support groups for people like you - Families Need Fathers & Fathers 4 Justice. Get in touch and find some blokes who have been in a similar situation. ... (read in full...)
Sexual relationship announcing to become serious - but is the age gap an issue?
Q. I've been seeing a guy who is in his early 30's for the past month now. Mainly just been messing around but things are starting to get a bit more heated lately and he's been telling me he's starting to fall for me. I'm about to turn 19 and I was ...
A. 16 March 2008: Go for it! Age is NOT an issue.... (read in full...)
I am very worried the violence will start up again if I have this baby...what can I do??
Q. I am in a relationship with a very controlling (sometimes abusive man)... we've been together since we were both 22... I got pregnant when I was 23, and I moved into his apartment so we could raise the baby together. When I was about 3 months p...
A. 16 March 2008: Google 3 words:
womens' refuge your_town
Even if you don't think you can leave him, at least go and have a chat.... (read in full...)
He's really sweet and kind and everything I look for in a guy...but also my best mate. What can I do??
Q. hi, i need some help... I have a guy best mate, but the thing is i like him as more than mate. What should I do ? I know he's single and so am I, he's really sweet and kind and everything i look for in a guy I don't know what to do please help me!!...
A. 16 March 2008: Do you touch him at all? You know, when you're talking, maybe touch his arm? If you hug, then it's easy to let your hands wander.
Guys aren't good at "subtle". The best way to get a guy to recognise that you like him is to take out a full-pag... (read in full...)
Is my ex having second thoughts, or is it just wishful thinking?
Q. My ex split up with me in Jan and keeps on texting me. Either to see how i am, ring me up to ask if i'm with anybody else... He recently fell out with two of his best mates because of me. One of them tried to chat me up on a night out when i saw ...
A. 16 March 2008: Commitment-phobia. Whilst you continue to talk with - and sleep with - this guy you're just enabling him. Yes, it takes two to tango - it's nice to see such refreshing honesty - but if sex to you is about "being closer to him" and it's not to him, ... (read in full...)
I don't want anything to change but his gf is looking to end it.
Q. My ex cheated on me and we broke up so he got a new girl. Sometime after that though we started talking again and hed tell me how he missed me and everything and so he hooked up with me again. We did that for a while and like two weeks ago he decid...
A. 16 March 2008: He's a cheater - why should you lie for him? Why should you care whether he's upset with you? The "magically dissappear" line is about the dumbest I've ever hear, and it says you're his second-best, and he's just keeping you around for his own ... (read in full...)
Should I try to make it work or let it go, at least for the next two years??
Q. I was dating my boyfriend for a few months and he had to move 4 hours away. We were too in love to end the relationship. So for the past two years we have carried on a long distance relationship, talking on the phone constantly and him visiting me ...
A. 16 March 2008: I think that in two years, if you leave it, this relationship will be lost forever. People grow, people move on. But feel free to continue dreaming if it makes you feel better.
I think that long-distance relationships can work, and I think it... (read in full...)
I'm worried I might creep her out or seem desperate...any advice??
Q. Hi everyone, I asked about this girl before and I was worried she thought I was a creep. We kinda cleared it up when I was working at a school sporting event and she came and talked to me. But the whole time she was talking to me she didn't seem at ...
A. 16 March 2008: She's not returning your calls but says "we'll definitely have to find a date"? This is a textbook case - she's using using you to polish her ego. As long as you keep chasing her, she'll be happy thinking "this guy likes me" and (although she may ... (read in full...)
He created a profile on a dating site, and when I asked him about us he kept shouting he does not love me, why am I still with him??
Q. Hi there, i am 27 my partner 43 and we have been together for last 6 years. I love him dearly even we have a few problems - personal and financial... Last year i caught him up to sending emails to girl in Ukrain and even paying her for translat...
A. 16 March 2008: It seems pretty common for married guys to write to mailorder-bride agencies, and I suspect that it's because this is an escapist fantasy. He sees their professionally-taken portraits and doesn't have to deal with any of the real facts of day-to-day ... (read in full...)
Can you love someone but be unable to understand WHY??
Q. hiii this is quite a strange question, but is it normal to have NO IDEA why you love someone? the thing is, i've really really liked the same guy for like 2 and a half years. he's in my year at school (year 10) and (luckily haha) no other girl...
A. 16 March 2008: Yes, I think this is not unusual at all. You need to quit waiting & start doing something about his shyness.... (read in full...)
Are these signs a 17 year old guy likes me?
Q. Are these signs that a shy 17 year old guy likes me?????? : ) 1.Ignore you when his friends are around becasue he 's in the popular group and you're not. 2.Sometimes his friends do things like tease him in front of me. Like one I walked ar...
A. 16 March 2008: Yes, these are signs that he likes you - he's fairly obviously mentioned you to his loud buddies - but they're also signs that he's an asshole who's more concerned about being with the "hip crowd" than he is about you. I fear this advice will fall ... (read in full...)
I'll see him at school next year, but what if it will be too late for "us"?
Q. Hey, i like this guy, i've known for about 2 years. he's in 9th grade and im in 8th he's my best guy friend. and is amazingly sweet. i talk to him every day, for about an hour or more. all my friends say he likes me, and we would be so cut...
A. 16 March 2008: I don't know how old you are if you're in the 8th grade, but it sounds like you've got 5 months before you're allowed to date him. I'd just ask him if he'll like to be your boyfriend-in-waiting.
It sounds like you'd be good together, and if you t... (read in full...)
I went to Spain to win back my ex but it was not possible. Please, any advice or words of cheer would be great.
Q. Hey Friends!!! my problem is pretty basic really. I'm American, currently living/working in Spain. I came here, originally, to try and "win" back my X. Didn't work, and she's in love and happy with another guy. I supp...
A. 16 March 2008: My best advice for you is to go on the prowl. Believe it or not bars are NOT the best place to meet girls, because they often have their defences up against being hit upon by strange guys.
In many ways being in a foreign country gives you lots... (read in full...)
Why do I care, and can't seem to get past all the hurt that he has caused me? I did not even love him (either)?
Q. I have broken up with my ex about 2 and a half months ago. I have had many one-day dates in the past but he was my first relationship that lasted for a year. I broke it off, because i couldn't take being hurt any longer by him and basically being ...
A. 16 March 2008: A couple of months isn't long to get over a relationship which you have - regrettably - invested so much emotion. But you're not helping things by continuing to hang out with him.
You describe his other girl as a a "whore", but this is really t... (read in full...)
Why would he ask for my number...say he will call and still not call??
Q. Well, I'm 18 and I met this guy who is around 33. I met him by chance and we started talking and well I know him a bit and it was pretty nice. He was really sweet and all and he had asked me if i was alone or witn company and where I lived, but unfo...
A. 16 March 2008: Any more advice? Blimey! You've already had more replies than than most questions.
Personally, I think you should give him just one chance & call him. But if he doesn't pick up, doesn't return your call, or if you decide not to call him, quit bot... (read in full...)
Why would he ask for my number...say he will call and still not call??
Q. Well, I'm 18 and I met this guy who is around 33. I met him by chance and we started talking and well I know him a bit and it was pretty nice. He was really sweet and all and he had asked me if i was alone or witn company and where I lived, but unfo...
A. 16 March 2008: He's a bloke. By this I mean that the chances are that Fade has hit it on the head, but there's also a chance that Eve's calling it all wrong. I admit there's a good chance that Eve's 101% on the mark, but most blokes couldn't organise a piss-up in ... (read in full...)
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