Like what
he writes?
... Add *irtball to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *irtball a private message | | | *irtball's profile:Hello DC. Some of you may be wondering where I were I went. My life has taken a turn that has taken me away from here for the time being. I'm not really answering many questions at this time. If you PM me, I will respond, but it may be delayed a week or two. I had many problems dumped on me of my own, so I don't have much energy for the problems of others. I'll be back, but it just may be a while.
Wow, been away longer than anticipated. To sum it up, life sort of sucks for me at the moment. Not looking for pity, just letting you know why I haven't been around. I still hope things will get better soon, but who knows.
ALERT: If you're sending me a PM in regard to advice I've given you, please reference the thread or specifics so I can be on the same page. Lately I've been receiving lots of PM's with an answer to some question I asked, but since the question was from an Anon poster, I have no idea which answer it was in regard to. I give a lot of advice here, so I'm very sorry if I don't immediately recognize you. The question title or a link would be most appreciated. Thank you!
_____________________________________________
Hi, I'm the bad bad charming sweetheart dirtball. Although recently I seem to have picked up the moniker "Dirty Balls" despite making sure to clean them thoroughly each day. Anyway, I love this site. I have a BA in Psychology which is part of the reason I think I like this site so much. I posted anon for quite some time before creating my profile. I took to the brutally honest approach which has gotten me in trouble a few times, but for the most part has gone quite well. I enjoy helping people and at times challenging them when I think it is appropriate.
_____________________________________________
I've been getting lots of great feedback on my advice and I appreciate it, even if you didn't like it. With that said, I'd like to add a segment here I'll call (drum roll please)
DIRTBALL'S RULES ABOUT PEOPLE AND DATING (in no particular order)
Men don't befriend women who they are not interested in sexually. What do I mean by this? I mean that men will not actively seek out friends of the opposite sex unless they would like to make the friendship progress further at some point. Plain and simple, that's how we operate. Are there circumstances where they are actually just friends? Yes, those would be times when you are forced together in some way. Examples could be; fellow employees at work, a regular customer at work, shared friend circle. The key to watch for is if he looks to spend time with her alone. That's usually the sign that he has a romantic interest in the relationship.
Long Distance Relationships don't work. Go ahead and tell me your success stories, I don't care. Most of the time it is just way too hard for the parties involved. Too much doubt creeps into the relationship. Plus, can you really call it a relationship if you only get to be together rarely? I think not.
Once broken up, you should stay that way. Make up/break up relationships don't work. Why do you always feel the need to break up? It's because things aren't working. Then you miss each other and get back together, only to have the very thing that drove you apart last time do it again. It is a cycle that doesn't get better. All you're doing is preventing yourself from finding someone who will actually make you happy.
People only change if they really (and I mean REALLY) want to for themselves. Changes for the benefit of others are temporary. True change is very hard to make. It requires diligence, effort, and support.
Communication is the most important part of your relationship. So many times we have people here asking about how they should handle a situation when the solution is simply to talk to your partner about it. We forget how important this is. It affects everything. If you are feeling upset about something, it is best that you discuss it with your partner instead of burying it and letting it brew. Later it will explode when it could have just been a calm discussion if addressed right away. Communicate with your partner. If you never talk, why are you even together?
People can love each other and not be right for a relationship. This kind of goes back to the make up/break up rule from earlier but it extends to present partners or exes as well. When someone is part of your life, especially for long periods of time, it is natural that part of the love you carry for them will always be there. Just because you love someone though, that doesn't mean you should be together. That's the case with most of my ex GF's as I'm sure it is with many other people. Sometimes you need to consider if love is making you do foolish things.
You should set ground rules in your relationships. Let your partner know about deal breakers. Deal breakers being defined as things they would do that would cause you to end the relationship. It is good to get these out of the way when you are getting serious. That way, you can refer back to them if your partner does something against said ground rules. An example that I tell all my girlfriends (including friends who I'm not romantically involved with) is that I will never answer the question "Am I fat" or any variation of it (does this make me look fat, does my butt look big, etc). I explain why too. It's a trap question. Answer yes, and that's obvious. Answer no, and "you're just saying that." So I won't entertain that question. I know, silly, but this works for the bigger picture too. Figure out what's important enough to you that you'd be willing to end a relationship. Tell your partner what these things are. If they want to be with you, they should know.
When one person in a relationship has a problem, it's a problem for the relationship. You're not alone in your relationship, and dismissing your partner's problem doesn't solve anything. It makes them feel devalued and unimportant. Why don't you care enough to address something they think is a problem? It's because you know it's a problem but want to hide. Don't hide from it. If you do, it won't go away.
When a relationship ends, you need to give yourself proper time to grieve it. Like dealing with death, you go through the same stages. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and finally acceptance. This is part of the problem with rebound relationships. Take the time you need. Don't be afraid to wait.
Let the past be the past. It's over, it's done, and there is nothing that can be done to change it. There is no use dwelling on it because there is nothing that can be done about it. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. You can't drive a car by only looking in the rear view mirror.
I'm sure there will be more to come, but these are the few I've seen myself repeat a lot in my rather short time here.
____________________________________________
This is, hands down, the best conversation I've seen about porn yet on this site: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-there-no-middle-ground-when-it.html
____________________________________________
Dirtball Rants:
1) What the hell happened to punctuation and grammar? I blame text messaging for the trash I see people write. It's not the content but the way it's expressed that makes me wonder what's happening to society. I realize that we're a multinational forum here, and I give a complete pass to someone who is doing their best despite the fact that English isn't their first language. But the crap I see from Americans, the British, Canadians, and Australians often makes me sick. If any of you read this, your posts would be much easier to read if you used paragraphs, sentences with punctuation, and whole words instead of abreviations like U, cuz, or wut! Quit being so fucking lazy if you want help.
2) There is a difference between the words your and you're. "Your" denotes ownership. "You're" is the contraction of "you are." Saying something like "your lame" is wrong wrong wrong! The same goes for there, their, and they're. "There" is used for things like places (look over there). "Their" denotes ownership (they wanted their cookies back). "They're" is the contraction of "they are." An example, "they're going to the service station over there to pick up their car which was just repaired." I bet that just blew your mind.
____________________________________________
Abreviations.
I use a lot of abreviations when I type advice so I'm going to start a list of the most common ones I see for use as a reference tool.
OP - Original Poster, the person asking for advice.
BF - Boyfriend
GF - Girlfriend
SO - Significant Other, your BF, GF, Fiance, or spouse in other words.
BTW - By the way
FWIW - For what it's worth
TBH - To be honest
IDC - I Don't Care
IDK - I Don't Know
IMHO - In My Humble Opinion
IMO - In My Opinion
IOW - In Other Words
THO - Titty Hard On (erect nipples) |
|
| Latest articles: The Curse of Over Thought
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
24 March 2011: The curse of over thought. I think many of us suffer from this curse. Some people may call it a blessing, but I tend to consider it a mixed bag. On one hand it can help lead people to some tremendous insights, on the other it can lead them do...
How Personal Bias and Gender Stereotypes can Influence Advice
This question has 40 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
19 February 2011: I write this article knowing full well it will not be received very well by some. I can only hope that this article will still be allowed due to the merits of the argument I am presenting. I have noticed on multiple occasions a prevalent double...
Why did you even ask?
This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 January 2011: What brought you to Dear Cupid? Most likely it's because of some problem in your life or relationship. That's how most of us stumbled upon this place. You came here hoping that these anon people on the internet could offer you some insight into ...
Tis the season...
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 December 2010: Hello Everyone. Here at Dear Cupid we receive many requests for help. Some are serious relationship problems, others aren't quite so serious. One such question is "What should I get my significant other for Christmas?" I intend to give you some ...
What ever happened to communication?
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 November 2010: Having been here for a while now, I see consistancy in many of the problems people who come here face. One major problem, although it isn't usually the one that brought them here, is communication. Communication is usually the underlying problem ...
Paralyzed by not knowing
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 October 2010: After reading a string of questions today I started really thinking about the topic of: "do they like me back?" It happens a lot. We develop a crush on someone. We think about them a lot. We read into every little thing they do or say. We ...
Thoughts on technology and long distance relationships
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 September 2010: It never fails to amaze me how many questions I see on here about long distance relationships (LDR's). I will admit, I understand the temptation. I've been there. I've tried it. I've concluded that they don't work. Still, what is it about these ...
|
Is it weird that I like chubby guys?
Q. I'm a tall, skinny 17 year old that likes chubby guys. I just wanted to know if its weird that I like chubby guys? Also I wanted to know if chubby guys like skinny girls?...
A. 10 March 2013: Not weird, and definitely. Like the others said, it's all personal preference, but many chubby guys like skinny girls.
P.S. there is a nickname for people with this preference. Chubby chaser. :)... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said his ex was fantastic in bed
Q. I am absolutely devastated. my boyfriend told me a while ago how fantastic one of his exs was in bed (to hurt me because of something nasty I had said). One year into our relationship i've asked him why he said it, he said 'not as fantastic as ...
A. 5 March 2013: LMAO, Cerberus, way to tell it like it is!
Chill out. This happened a YEAR ago and you're still clinging to it. You said your sex life is good, you're both satisfied. So what's the problem? Why make a problem where there isn't one?
... (read in full...)
Is there one person that would turn straight for, even if for just one date?
Q. This question was kinda inspired by my friend. She was telling me how this chick she saw was so attractive she would turn lesbian for her, and she is currently in a hetero relationship so obviously she didn't turn lol :) What I was wondering fo...
A. 5 March 2013: One of my best friends in college was a lesbian. I remember having a conversation with her one day that took a decidedly sexual turn. First some joking but then she said something to me that surprised me. She told me that if she ever did decide ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not perform oral sex and I love it!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for some time now and he doesn't eat my box. He says it's not his thing what should I do???? when that is one of my favorites like almost can't live without it and it's driving me nuts......
A. 5 March 2013: Ahhhh yes. God I love the taste of a dripping wet pussy.
Oh wait, you wanted advice...
What should you do? Well, if you've talked to him about it, and explained how much you like it, and he's still refusing, then the choice becomes simple. ... (read in full...)
I barely know this younger girl but she keeps asking me to go to her play. Should I go?
Q. I have recently met a girl. I dont know her very well--in fact i barely know anything about her other than her name and im not sure she even knows my name. We havent swapped numbers or anything and ive never seen her outside of work. However she has ...
A. 5 March 2013: Does she like you? She's interested. Beyond that it's hard to say. She wouldn't keep seeking you out if she wasn't at least interested though.
Is the age thing an issue? Nope. You're both legal, both adults, not really that far apart. ... (read in full...)
How many men look at women's toes?
Q. how many men look at womens toes? what color polish do you like?...
A. 4 March 2013: Don't really care myself. Not a big foot guy. I don't think this is something most guys care much about unless feet are their thing.... (read in full...)
I don't think my friend wants to be friends anymore he doesn't seem to care about me now
Q. hi, i have a friendship problem. recently ther were many difrerences and problems with my best friend followed by a big quarrel but everything was sorted out by a mutual friend. but still thing are not the same, recently i had been in two accident...
A. 4 March 2013: What Cindy said. I can't say it better myself.... (read in full...)
How can I find a way to bring my true love to my heart?
Q. hello I;m a 48 years old woman I have this friend we are very very very close with each other we tell each other everything. We have known each other since we was little girls but now we are in our 40s. i was in a long term relationship with thi...
A. 4 March 2013: Tough situation. You can't really confess your feelings because she's married, has a child, and seems to be happy. Unrequited love sucks. I'm sure she loves you, but not in the way you want. That's never easy.
How do you get along with her... (read in full...)
All my boyfriend does is sleep, and I'm getting upset?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. I'm a senior and he's a college freshman. We spend time together, but most of that time is spent sleeping. For example, we'll be skyping at 10pm usually, but he'll go to bed around 11-12...
A. 4 March 2013: This is not normal. That's actually one of the symptoms of Depression. I'm not licensed or anything, but that was my area of study as well as having personal experience with the subject.
Something is going on in him. It might be best to give ... (read in full...)
When I lost weight I lost the good parts of my body! I don't want to work out every day so what can I do?
Q. Hey aunts and uncles this isn't much of a relationship problem but more of a self esteem/ body imagine problem. When i got with my bf of 3 years now i first weighed 175. I had noticed his father and sister didnt liked me and I asked him why , his ...
A. 4 March 2013: BUNS OF STEEL!!!
Sorry, probably before your time. That's an old workout video. Really, you need to be less concerned about what people think of you and try to be happy in your own skin.
What does your boyfriend think of the new you? Ha... (read in full...)
Is caring for people and getting hurt stopping me from opening up?
Q. It's like every guy I let into my life hurt me. The very first guy I ever dated kept going back and forth between me and his ex. It was like me and him dated for two years then he met her but we never quit talking. Then, after seven years I was ti...
A. 4 March 2013: Exes belong in the past, not the present. When you break up with someone it's best if that's it. FOREVER.
When you break up with someone, you miss them, then their memory becomes cloudy with some romanticized notion of who they really are. Yo... (read in full...)
How do tell my mother that I'm dating a man 18 years older than me?
Q. I'm 22 and my boyfriend is 39. We've been dating for almost two months and very few people in my life know about him. Just my sisters and a few coworkers from my job. (they know him because he stops by every once in a while) My mother has no id...
A. 4 March 2013: I can't really help much on this one, but I do remember a good discussion here in the past that might or might not help. Check it out:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/people-who-are-in-a-marriage-with-a.html
I would say that she has a right ... (read in full...)
No one seems to believe me because of how my other family members act!
Q. This isn't a relationship,dating,love, or sex question. See my family look at me all wrong because of my parent's background and how my sister is,excuse me, hoeing around. My daddy is a thief so they think I still from him. My daddy lies a lot so ...
A. 4 March 2013: Sounds pretty extreme. Honestly, if most of the people in your community have some sort of predetermined sense about you, there is little you can do to change their minds. These situations are the ones where it's usually best for someone to make a ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if a guy most of the time doesn`t answer but started texting?
Q. i like a guy, he went for a semster abroad, we was ill and I couldn`t tell him I like him so I texted him well I texted him a few times before on Facebook but he doesn`t keep the conversation going it was like I texted him, he texted back, I t...
A. 4 March 2013: Sounds sort of back burner to me. Really, a lot of guys aren't big texters. I know I'm not. To me, texting should be about sending a quick message with a confirmation then done. Not an extended back and forth. If you want to talk with me, call ... (read in full...)
I made a mistake by cheating and boyfriend met someone. How do I get him back?
Q. Hi all. Two years ago today I was dumped by my ex. We both did things to each other. I accept I made him insecure by constantly flirting with attractive guys when we went out, and by flirting on dating sites (which he always found out about). I did ...
A. 4 March 2013: LMAO! Thanks for the laugh. Like Cerberus said, you definitely shit all over that relationship. What makes you think you wouldn't do it again?
Leave him alone. Move on. You were not good for each other. If it was meant to be it would ha... (read in full...)
Am I gay now, if I had sex with my friend once?
Q. Mod note: OP is a male. I'm a young man. Some time ago I broke up with my girlfriend, it was very hard and painful, because we had a long relationship, but I had to end it because she lied to me, cheated on me and did other nasty things. That even...
A. 4 March 2013: I'm with Euphoric on this one. I think your bias and prejudice is what's causing these thoughts to linger the way they are. Once you can openly admit you liked what happened, you will probably start feeling better.
I hate the labels heterose... (read in full...)
Men: Would you date a woman who won't give oral sex?
Q. I do not like giving blow jobs at all. I could live my life quite happily never having to do it again because for me its not really a pleasant thing even if my partner enjoys it. I'd rather him miss out than endure my gag reflex telling me how ...
A. 4 March 2013: Personally, I love oral sex, both giving and receiving. My last GF hated it. I only got one BJ in the 3 years we were together, and that was a very half hearted few licks and it was over.
Honestly, I hated it. Of course, I'm a very sexual p... (read in full...)
I want to talk to my guy about sex but I don't know how!
Q. Hi y'all, I'm in need of some advice. I'm about to marry a very nice, caring, intelligent man. Trouble is... there's nothing going on in the sex department. I've known him for 6 years, and for three of those years, he was in and out of a ...
A. 4 March 2013: Eddie is dead on in his advice. I'd second what he wrote. I'll also add a couple of things.
First, don't worry about your body. He likes it. I'm sure he finds you attractive. Most of your issues are yours, and not shared by him. Most guy... (read in full...)
What could I say to her to make her see sense? That not every guy is out to cause her hurt like her last boyfriend?
Q. My friend won’t give any guy a chance now, she's so afraid of getting hurt that she won’t let herself open up to another guy She was dating this guy for a long time and he did lead her on, he gave her false hope and expectation that she didn't ...
A. 3 March 2013: You can't do anything to make her see your side. She has to want to open up, and right now she isn't ready. That doesn't mean she never will be ready. It may take finding the right guy who sets off that spark. It may take her making a conscious ... (read in full...)
Should I just leave him alone or tell him the truth? Because I do like him, even though I would not let him kiss me earlier.
Q. Recently a man at work and I have been flirting, he bought me flowers and we went out for lunch with another work colleague. He went in for a kiss and I pulled away as we work together, but ever since I can't get him out of my head. But since I said...
A. 3 March 2013: You shut him down. Plain and simple. He now thinks your flirting is merely to tease him for your amusement. He was obviously hurt by the rejection.
If you like him, you need to tell him. He most likely will not try to cross that boundary... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend and I just split up. She does have a lot on her mind. But how can I cope with this distressing break up?
Q. Hi, Thanks for reading this, I really need some advice. My girlfriend of 1 year and a half has just split up with me. We have an amazing relationship, before christmas everything was perfect. One night before christmas, we were at her house and...
A. 3 March 2013: She needs her space and you need to give it to her. Breaking up sucks, but once it's done, it's best left in the past.
Take the time you need to grieve the loss of this relationship. It's gone. Perhaps after some time you can talk to her and ... (read in full...)
Friday night? My Boyfriend of seven years has asked another woman to join us on our Friday night outring. Do I have a right to be miffed? What should I do?
Q. Am I being spoilt and a pain? My Boyfriend of 7 years has asked a fellow dog walker to join us on our regular and special Fri nights out. I am sure their relationship is platonic but one can never be sure . I have met her on a few occasions a...
A. 3 March 2013: Yeah, I'm not seeing a big problem here. As long as you two still have some alone time date nights, a slightly inconvenient third wheel sometimes won't hurt.
Trust your gut. If you think it's something more, be careful. Otherwise remind h... (read in full...)
Will my married lover leave his wife? Or just keep me holding on to hopelessness?
Q. I have fallen in love with a married man. He has not divorced her. Our relationship has been 3 yrs. I want to end the relationship but things keep getting better between us. She was in an accident last year and still in recovery. I am unsure i...
A. 3 March 2013: You need to get out. 99% of the time they don't leave their spouse for the person they are cheating with (men and women).
He will keep you hanging as long as he can, but he'll likely never leave his wife. It's best for you to end this now and ... (read in full...)
What do you think -- any potential here?
Q. Why would he ask me that? Does he like me? So I was talking to this cute guy I like and I asked him if he think he's sexy and he said he doesn't look at himself like that. ( I asked cause hes sexy) And he asked me if I think I'm sexy. I ...
A. 3 March 2013: He was following your lead. That's a good sign. What was his reaction other than the words? What was his body language? Did he blush at all? Was he quick to say you weren't weird?
You don't really give us much to go on here so think about my... (read in full...)
Out of control crush on my teacher is leaving me depressed. How can I deal with that and the jealousy I feel about anouther girl in the class?
Q. I've been deeply in love with my history teacher ever since he joined my school last fall. He's in his late 20s I think and he's gorgeous with his cute long hair. This seems to be the problem. I have a huge crush on him and it's hurting me. I ...
A. 3 March 2013: He'll notice the change in your behavior. He'll probably realize what's going on. It's usually pretty obvious.
The thing is, this is NOT something you can act on or confess to him. The minute you do he would have to get the principal involved... (read in full...)
With friends like this?? After I heard what my friends had said to him I don't feel comfortable continuing to see him. What should I do?
Q. I have a friend who has always been aggressive with guys and it worked out for her. I have done it as well but I have a lot of issues with trust so I don't do it anymore. Well, my friend who was tired of seeing me upset decided to help me. Whe...
A. 3 March 2013: Enjoy it. Who cares if he was prompted. If he wasn't interested he wouldn't have followed through.... (read in full...)
She keeps calling me by her ex's name.
Q. My girlfriend has called me her ex boyfriends name four times now....why??? She was with him for a few years but was cheating with me almost the entire time. She meant me first but i wasnt ready to date yet and she chased me the entire time. SOMEONE ...
A. 3 March 2013: Accidents happen, and calling someone by their ex's name happens too. The thing is, this whole relationship is based on an affair. That's NOT a good thing. It's not healthy and there can never be any real trust. That is why I said you need to ... (read in full...)
My crazy ex claimed she was pregnant the day after we broke up!
Q. Hello, I feel like I'm falling apart and desperately need some help and advice from others to help me piece everything together in my own head. So about 2 months ago I was introduced to a girl through a mutual friend who thought we might be good...
A. 3 March 2013: I'd be very suspicious. Then again I dated a psycho who used to claim she was pregnant when she thought I'd break up with her. After the 3rd time I called her bluff.
To me, it sounds like a manipulation. However, you need to prepare yourself... (read in full...)
She keeps calling me by her ex's name.
Q. My girlfriend has called me her ex boyfriends name four times now....why??? She was with him for a few years but was cheating with me almost the entire time. She meant me first but i wasnt ready to date yet and she chased me the entire time. SOMEONE ...
A. 3 March 2013: I agree, run for the hills. She was bad news from the beginning and it's only going to get worse.
Chances are, she's still with him too.... (read in full...)
Everybody knew about my boyfriend's pregnant girlfriend but me!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and I just recently found out that not only has he been cheating on me for years but the girl is now pregnant. The reason I found out was because a friend of the family told me. When I asked him ...
A. 3 March 2013: Hand him his walking papers and don't look back! You dodged a bullet here.... (read in full...)
He's just too big and we can't have sex!
Q. This is kind of a crude question, but I've tried googling it, and there's just all these weird answers haha. Basically, I started dating my best mate (it's been amaaaazing!), and we decided that it was time to get intimate with eachother. We we...
A. 3 March 2013: Will you be ruined? Not in the least. If a vagina can survive a baby, it can survive a big cock.
Sex without it being painful? Go slowly and make sure you're highly aroused. It won't be easy, but once you get used to it things should go fine.... (read in full...)
Could he have been using me for sex?
Q. Is it possible that this guy used me for sex even though we only had sex 7 times with month gaps inbetween? We were dating for 5 months and he made up a lame excuse about not thinking I cared about him and everyone tells he must have used me for t...
A. 2 March 2013: Not enough info to say for sure.
Truth is, you dated for 5 months. Did you go out on dates? Did he call you his girlfriend? Did he introduce you as his girlfriend? Were you only with each other?
7 times in 5 months is not enough to say yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been reading stories about incest and beastiality. Should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend has been reading stories about incest (father/daughter) and stories about girls having sex with dogs, I don't know what this means or if I should even worry about it. Help?...
A. 2 March 2013: Sorry, but I think a lot of people have a misconception about incest erotica in general. If you haven't read it, you can't really speak about it with any real knowledge. It is NOT the same as porn. In general the father/daughter stuff (not all, ... (read in full...)
New to university and trying to read girls' signals
Q. am a guy of 22 who just in to the university. Enntering my department in the university 90% of them are girls. Some girls who never knew me but have bein seeing me during my registration welcomed me and started taking photograghs of me in class i ...
A. 2 March 2013: They are interested. If the ratio is what you say, you're a lucky man. I wouldn't read too much into feelings yet. They are obviously interested, but beyond that you'll have to find out by spending some quality time with them.
Did any of them ... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated in this relationship! I don't know what to do
Q. I have been dating my bf for 6 months now, when i first met him he had lost his gf of 7 years due to terminal illness, he was a total mess and pretty depressed obviously. I made it my mission to somehow bring him back to "life" and went through a ...
A. 2 March 2013: A professional can't help him because they haven't gone through what he did? Don't listen to that crap. Almost everyone in their life has experienced loss. While it may not have been the exact same situation, I know others who have gone through ... (read in full...)
So how do I make friends with complete strangers at University?
Q. I live, usually, far away from the city. We don't see many visitors out there. But I've just moved to the city to study. And I'm staying in the University accomodation. My parents have gone back home now. So my question is, what's the best way to m...
A. 2 March 2013: It's tough at first, but is a great life experience that will help you going forward.
When I was in college, I found a few ways of making friends. One way was going to parties. Lots of fun and the alcohol often helps you lose a little of your ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend have a crush on his buddies wife?
Q. My boyfriend had gone to his friends wedding several months ago and when he returned from the wedding he was gushing about his friend's wife. While I didnt know why he took such a huge interest in her, cause it makes no sense, but he was bringing up ...
A. 2 March 2013: Like I said, crushes just happen sometimes. In this case it was probably due to the attention she was giving him. Everyone gets flattered when someone shows them attention. It's just part of human nature. It's likely that at some point you'll ... (read in full...)
How do I get to the point where I can trust my fiance again?
Q. I dont mean to keep repeating myself, but im living in complete agony. Ever since I found out that my fiance flirted with a girl on a jobsite and got her number. And then text her and called her beautiful. Him and. I have been together seven years ...
A. 2 March 2013: Trust is easy to lose and very difficult to regain. The only thing that can rebuild trust is time.
You didn't do anything wrong. This was something he did, not you. You must not blame yourself for what he did.
Now, you also need to quit tor... (read in full...)
I don't think I've ever had an orgasm but I make alot of noise. Is this wrong?
Q. Hey all, So whenever I have sex or fool around with my boyfriend, I moan. Alot. Soetimes I even scream I'm a very talkative person in general, so I don't know if that's part of it. Because the thing is, I moan with pleasure, but I don't have an ...
A. 2 March 2013: There is definitely nothing wrong with you if you like to moan in pleasure. Moaning can often heighten your sexual experiences and help you focus on the pleasure you're receiving.
As for not having an orgasm, I'm not sure what to say. You may ... (read in full...)
I've been dreaming of this woman since 1974. Should I look for her?
Q. I´ve been in love with Tessie since 1974, Tessie and I began a few moths relationship, we broke, after 7 years, we started a new relation, By then I was married man but somehow Tessie and I kept together for 5 years. In 1989 I got sick with can...
A. 2 March 2013: Tessie has become a fantasy. Don't give up what you have for a dream. If it was meant to be it would have happened the first time.... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend have a crush on his buddies wife?
Q. My boyfriend had gone to his friends wedding several months ago and when he returned from the wedding he was gushing about his friend's wife. While I didnt know why he took such a huge interest in her, cause it makes no sense, but he was bringing up ...
A. 2 March 2013: Based on what you've written, it's pretty obvious they dig each other a bit more than is appropriate for either of their relationships.
Crushes happen, we can't really control who or why sometimes. Still, no matter how you push, it's not a qu... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has been reading stories about incest and beastiality. Should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend has been reading stories about incest (father/daughter) and stories about girls having sex with dogs, I don't know what this means or if I should even worry about it. Help?...
A. 1 March 2013: Guess I'm a sick fuck then too! I've read incest stories (i.e. erotica) and been turned on. So what? Have I ever had, or will I ever have incest? Hell no. That's the fun part about imagination land, especially when it's written stories. It ... (read in full...)
I feel suffocated in this relationship! I don't know what to do
Q. I have been dating my bf for 6 months now, when i first met him he had lost his gf of 7 years due to terminal illness, he was a total mess and pretty depressed obviously. I made it my mission to somehow bring him back to "life" and went through a ...
A. 1 March 2013: The others are right in that he DEFINITELY needs therapy. He didn't properly grieve the loss of his last GF or their relationship. It's a really bad double whammy that will only get worse.
The way I see it, he was a pet project of yours. ... (read in full...)
| *irtball's friends
These are mutual friends, so *irtball has
added them and they have added *irtball!
|
