A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunts and uncles.Have you ever regretted your 'first time'?I'm a 17, soon to be 18, year old dude that is thinking about losing his virginity.When I hit puberty i never virginity or sex in particular was ever going to be a concern for me. I thought that I would lose it when I saw fit and that was it.(un)fortunately that is not the case. These last couple of years 'virginity' has grown on me, I have this gut feeling that I WILL regret my first time unless it's with someone that I have a relationship with.The thing is.. I've never had a girl friend, even worse I've never had a first kiss! And it's not like the opportunity to have sex haven't occurred, it's just that I've had to "pass".So, did you regret your first time?Thank you in advance! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2013): yes i regretted my first time ,it was with someone i was not in a relationship with . i knew nothing of her. she was a prostitute. if i could have done it over again ,i would have waited .
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (6 March 2013):
In all of my life, Ive never once heard a woman say "I wish I didnt wait so long to lose it." I have lost count on how many times Ive heard "I wish I waited longer/for the right person."
For men, its a bit different as our evolutionary relics can often manifest themselves as a guy being a "loser" if he cant get laid in high school/college. That said, I think its best if both sexes wait for the right person.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 March 2013):
 No, but I actually waited til I found a guy and got to know him for quite a while ( about 7 months).
Some of my female friends did regret theirs, mostly because a few of them had felt pressured into having sex by a guy. Some of my male friends talked about regretting it because they felt a peer pressure to NOT be a virgin, but that it didn't really matter after the fact.
So, my thoughts, wait til you know the guy, til you are in a loving relationship and that you BOTH are 100% ready and then you MAKE darn sure you have plenty of condoms and maybe even have been on BC for a month or two. Sex is so much more fun if you don't have to worry about pregnancy.
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 March 2013):
No, I don't regret my first time at all! I was 23 - so was she - we were both virgins - and it happened on our wedding night. We gave ourselves to each other with the definite intention of being each others' life partner, and gave ourselves in a way that we can never give to anybody else. It was not very good sex, but it was VERY significant and meaningful to each of us. We are still enjoying sex a lot, and enjoying a lot of sex, over 38 years later.
I will not argue or debate with others who come away from their very first sexual experience with disappointment, thinking "Is that all there is?", or "I waited 20 years for THIS?". They certainly know their own feelings. For me, it was emotionally and physically perhaps the most intense experience I had up to that point in my life.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): "I have this gut feeling that I WILL regret my first time unless it's with someone that I have a relationship with."
If you're anything like me, you will. Go with your gut. I didn't, and I wish I had. I was 18 like you, and gave it to someone I WAS in a relationship with. However, if I had waited I would have discovered what an awful man he truly was before it was too late.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): I wouldn't worry about it so much, you're still very young. You will know when the time is right. You should definitely wait until you're in love and in a long term relationship, don't have random, drunken sex with someone you don't care about, use protection, be responsible. I don't regret my first time, it was with the love of my life, however I do regret that he went crazy and broke our relationship 3.5 years later- we were planning to be married. It's a double edged sword for me because I don't regret that but I regret the whole relationship now. Although he wants it I can't even have him as a friend now because I can't get over the trauma & I still love him as a husband and life partner.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I do not regret my first time. I was 18 and was in a long term relationship with a boy. It was the first time for both of us and I can honestly say I'm so glad I waited. Many of my friends lost theirs while in high school to one night stands, or they were drunk. Some people just want to get it over with, but to me it was special and I'm glad that I can think back on it with happiness not regret or disgust. There is no need to hurry, its much better when you have a loving caring partner.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I waited until I was 19 and in a loving relationship. I do not regret it, even though he and I turned out to be a lousy couple later on. I had a boyfriend at 15 who made a big run at me to have sex with him and I know for certain I would have regretted that later. I even knew that then, that I was too young.
You're going to get different answers. Some people will regret it, some people will not. If you know that you are in a situation that you will regret later on, listen to your gut, your intuition, and don't do it. I doubt you'll regret waiting.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I was too young but I don't regret it.
not really. it's over it's done and i can't change it. But I wish I had waited.
You are not walking around with a V on your chest. It's not anything you have to discuss... and my advice to you is
wait till you feel it's right and the person is special.
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I had some very dumb ideas about virginity when I was in my teens. I felt it was a curse and couldn't wait to get rid of it.
When I did finally lose it (at 16) the circumstances were very unfortunate, starting with a great deal of alcohol and ending with regret that bothered me for a great many years.
Had I waited until it could happen with someone with whom I was in love, someone with whom I had created a strong relationship, it would be a happy memory. Even if it meant waiting another handful of years. There's no rush, and only one chance to get it right.
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female
reader, jadedpearl +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Let it happen naturally, why rush into it?? I did not regret my first time but I do wish I waited for a real SOLID relationship one with an emotional connection not just physical. You are sweating the small stuff. Relax, and if it happens it happens whether it's tomorrow or 5 years from now.
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female
reader, IsabellaMcCalla  +, writes (5 March 2013):
every day i do regret my first time because i never loved the person.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Listen, you've barely hit the age where you're even allowed to have sex legally. So why the worry now? Why the concern? You've just started the race, and already you are worried you'll never finish. Just sit back and chill, you're not a late bloomer, not everyone else are having sex either. There are tons of men and women who are virgins at your age, and even older. It's just that they, like you, don't go around announcing it. Whereas a lot of young people brag about "achievements" they haven't done, such as bragging about sex they haven't ever had. They lie, to fit in. But at your age, most teenagers are inexperienced just like you.
Don't worry about it, it'll happen when it happens. I know tons of people who rushed into it, and whereas it's not something you regret doing, it is something you look back on and think "It would have been better if I had waited". I know my first time would probably be tons better if I had waited. At least it would have been better if I had waited until I found a person more trustworthy, more dependable, and someone I was closer with than the one I did choose to have sex with. I ended up hating his guts, and the sex wasn't even good because we weren't in love and he really didn't care anything about me, just for himself (I didn't care for him either, so I can't point any fingers). Just saying.. after having had sex with someone who cares about me, and who I care about, I definitely know it'd have been a better experience if I wanted.
But then again, I know because I did otherwise. If you're someone who can learn from other peoples "mistakes", then wait. If you're someone who needs to make his own mistakes: go ahead for the first and best.
When I was a virgin I hoped my first time would be passionate, wild, with someone I truly wanted and lusted after, and who was crazy about me in return. But in retrospect, I know I would have had to wait until I was 26 before I got that. But my boyfriend, who I now have this passionate sex with, he DID wait. He was a virgin at 25, and he doesn't regret waiting. His first time was amazing because he waited until he was in a relationship and with someone he was crazy about and who was crazy about him.
It's great if you can have that, but it might require a long while of waiting. But really.. if you KNOW you're going to regret it, then don't do it, because you probably WILL regret it. It's just who you are, people are different. If you'll regret it if you don't wait.. then the right thing for you is to wait.
Just don't confuse a fear of making a mistake, with fear of regretting an action. People can make mistakes without regretting them.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): Absolutely I regret my first time. I was too young (15), it was the wrong person (girl was a waste of time) but I was thinking with the wrong head. If I could go back in time, I would lose my virginity later in life with a girl I dated and had fallen in love with.
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