Do I not deserve my life too?
Q. I'm a mother of 2 children ages 12 and 17. My ex husband and I divorced about 10 years ago. He was never really present in my children's lives until a few years ago when he realized I found a boyfriend and was afraid my boyfriend will take his ...
A. 12 February 2019: I’m not sure if you are talking about moving out permanently or just a temporary sabbatical? I take the time to reply because I struggled with this issue myself. I don’t have kids— for me it was caring for other family members who are incapable of ... (read in full...)
In a polyamorous relationship and the woman is pregnant. How do I deal with the pregnancy?
Q. I'm in a very unfamiliar type of situation and not sure where to turn for advice. I am a woman dating a married couple (FMF polyamorous triad) for about 6 months, and we have all been getting along great to where we spend most days together, and ...
A. 10 February 2019: I think this is a very dangerous arrangement and I would not recommend staying in it. ... (read in full...)
I am resentful of my husband being on a cruise without me. How do I stop feeling this way?
Q. My husband is onboard a cruise ship for two weeks on a "team building" work trip. Spouses were not encouraged to go but either way, I could not go as I have just started my own business and it would be an inopportune time for me to get away. We also ...
A. 3 October 2018: I’ll try to be a bit more brief. I totally get the resentment. It’s actually more like jealousy. It’s not abnormal. You’ve got a couple pieces to this. First, he’s on a cruise while you’re home taking care of your children. That’s strikes y... (read in full...)
How do you cope with the loss of a potential relationship?
Q. I was dating a guy for a few weeks until this weekend. I wasn’t overly keen for the first month or so, but finally something clicked on the weekend and I finally let my guard down and invested. We had sex and he stayed the night. A few days lat...
A. 30 September 2018: I am alone just like you. The culture tells us that being alone is a bad thing. What I mean is we are told that if we feel lonely we should do something to stop that feeling. Its a natural and normal feeling that everyone has. One time a friend of ... (read in full...)
I need dating advice on how to meet women!
Q. I'm 30, single male, and at a total loss on how to meet women for dating. I don't have a big social circle (which has been shrinking since my mid 20's) so I don't meet anyone through mutual friends. I live in a small town but commute to work ...
A. 25 September 2018: Well I think you’re on the right track by first identifying places that may not be good. Bars and clubs never seem to be a very good idea, and online dating can be dicey. I would suggest something like a church group. In my town, there are also ... (read in full...)
How can I stop obsessing over a taken man?
Q. Has anyone dealt with obsessive love and limerence? I have an issue with being obsessed with my crushes and making up scenarios and fairy tale endings in my head to the point where all I think about is the object of my obsession . To be frank I am ...
A. 19 June 2018: I think you are experiencing a period of lust and passion. Everyone probably goes through that. My best advice is to avoid anything that might tempt you into these thoughts. Since you mentioned adultery it seems likely that you are a religious ... (read in full...)
How do I learn to stop caring so much about other people's opinions?
Q. Hello aunts, I wanted to seek advice on how to stop caring about how other people perceive me and how to gather strength on the inside. I am a woman in my thirties that (not trying to sound vain) has been told I am very pretty - skinny and beaut...
A. 14 June 2018: I wanted to reply because we are close in age. What you’re describing is certainly not unique to you, so I think the first step is realize that it’s not abnormal to feel the way you do. I would imagine over 80% of human beings have felt weak on the ... (read in full...)
My coworker doesn't wear a ring, but how do I make sure he's not married?
Q. I am attracted to this man at work that comes in 3 days a week to do his job, and I knew him very vaguely from other job before switching. I did always find him attractive, but just said "hello." I was pretty sure he was married, but didn't look for ...
A. 12 June 2018: I think the way you find out for sure if he’s married is to do what the other post suggested, ask a question that presupposes he is married, like what does your wife think about XYZ, insert topic...Even though you didn’t ask I would be careful about ... (read in full...)
Is it really a big deal that I didn't call?
Q. I’ve been dating this guy (no official relationship) for a few months. We were old friends who got really close and started a romance. He did the chasing and I finally caught feelings after a while. We would hang out all the time. He would call me ...
A. 3 June 2018: All the responses so far are from female readers so I thought I might be able to add a male perspective. Sometimes guys are easily offended. It's possible he may have had an experience in his past where someone neglected him or treated him poorly. I ... (read in full...)
Do I keep believing him after his string of lies?
Q. Long story short, over the past month, my husband has been caught in a string of lies. First lie is when he told me he called his buddy but later found out he called a female coworker to congratulate her for this cover she got for a magazine. Odd ...
A. 2 June 2018: Hi, I am sorry for what you are going through and my heart goes out to you and your children. My view has always been that someone that is lying is a person with something to hide. What struck me is that he said she was not really even a friend, yet ... (read in full...)
How to deal with breakups when you suffer from anxiety
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for several years. We love each other very much but probably aren't the best match for each other. I would like to consider breaking up, but I have anxiety and it makes everything difficult 10x harder. I'm scared of ...
A. 1 June 2018: Hi, the one thing that kills anxiety better than anything else is action. The anticipation of something is often worse than actually doing whatever it is that bothers you, so if you have decided to break up, then I would act on that decision very ... (read in full...)
How do I regain my self confidence?
Q. After being in a long marriage and meeting a new man how do I regain confidence in myself as a sexual woman . My ex showed little attraction to me despite all efforts I made to be attractive and my new man is great but has a strong like for porn ...
A. 1 June 2018: Hi, it seems like it’s always easy for folks to get concerned about the superficial aspects of relationships, the looks, age, etc. what I know for sure is that we are all getting older at exactly the same pace and that nobody stays or looks young ... (read in full...)
Why am I never a man’s first choice?
Q. Hi good people, I’m feeling a bit down today and was hoping you might be able to offer me some advice or even just words of comfort. I’m 32 (33 in July) and I’ve been single for 3 years now. My previous long-term relationship was rocky and I’m de...
A. 1 June 2018: Hi, I think as long as you are being yourself, it is impossible to do anything wrong. One thing that may help you is what someone told me. They said I have to get over the “big lie” - the big lie is when we assume that everyone around us (in this ... (read in full...)
Should I reach out to him again after a long time away?
Q. Hi everyone! While working a contract gig, I developed a huge crush on someone in our building. We chatted a little bit, kind of had lunch once, but our schedules were never consistent. On my last day, he left early. I planned to ask him out for ...
A. 1 June 2018: Hi, I imagine a lot of people in a similar position feel like you do, so you’re not alone, that’s the first thing. The other thing that was enlightening for me is that you said you didn’t want to embarrass yourself by reaching out, if I understood ... (read in full...)
I'm dating 2 women and I'm afraid the first one will find out about the second one
Q. I am in love with two women,the first one we hav dated for 1year 6months and the other one just for 4months,bt am scared the first woman can find out...what should i do help?!!! ...
A. 21 January 2016: You have to be honest with yourself and the women involved. Right now you're in an unsustainable situation, and there should only be one woman in your life. A situation like the one you are in is a serious moral hazard as well as one that never ends ... (read in full...)
Can I get this girl to like me more?
Q. I met a girl on an online dating site a few months back. We had a great emotional and intellectual connection and got along great. However, we made the mistake of not meeting quickly enough. So while our connection deepened significantly, we still ...
A. 24 October 2015: I understand your wanting to try and make things work. In this case it seems as though your gut feeling is giving you the answer. If you want to know for sure what the deal is, I think it's perfectly fine to just come out and ask her how she feels ... (read in full...)
Can I get this girl to like me more?
Q. I met a girl on an online dating site a few months back. We had a great emotional and intellectual connection and got along great. However, we made the mistake of not meeting quickly enough. So while our connection deepened significantly, we still ...
A. 23 October 2015: I understand your wanting to try and make things work. In this case it seems as though your gut feeling is giving you the answer. If you want to know for sure what the deal is, I think it's perfectly fine to just come out and ask her how she feels ... (read in full...)
Went on a date, it went very well, now he's not messaging back, what have I done wrong?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I went on a date with a guy just over a week ago and completely hit it off with him. I could tell he was quite bowled over with me and was very complimentary and we had a lovely time. He said he wanted to see me again but I w...
A. 19 October 2015: Hi, I'm in your age bracket and if I had a nickel for every time I thought I had a woman's interest only to see her vaporize, I'd be rich. First I would not think you did anything wrong whatsoever. The fact that you are concerned about that speaks ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if I should log onto the dating site?
Q. Hello I have subscribed to a dating site for 1 month, and have agreed , to meet a woman for a date , she has said , we can meet , when she is back from ...
A. 5 October 2015: This is an interesting question. I think it depends on if you think she will actually do what she says and actually meet you when she gets back. If you believe she will do as she says, then out of respect for her, hold off on scheduling other dates. ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I'm not interested in dating?
Q. I guess I don't quite know how to put this in the form of a question. Basically I'm just curious if it's really so bad to not have an interest in dating? I have told myself that I'm most likely asexual although I'm attracted to men, j...
A. 29 September 2015: No I do not think this is a bad thing. I think you are pretty courageous. Thomas Merton always said people tend to put on masks to hide their true selves from each other, because the idea was we don't think other people would like us if they knew ... (read in full...)
I'm incredibly attracted to him but not ready to have sex after only one month and 4 dates!
Q. I have been dating a guy for almost a month. We met on a popular dating app and hit it off immediately on our first date. We talked for hours and ended up having to be told to leave the restaurant because they were closing. He took me out for dinner ...
A. 28 September 2015: I think you provided some answers to your own questions here. No man has the right to demand that a woman sleep with him outside of marriage, period. Whether it's date 3, 9 or 152. If that's a pre-requisite for a relationship, then he's putting his ... (read in full...)
He felt me pulling away so he lied to me about where he was!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm newly divorced and have been dating a man for 9'months. He has been separated from his wife for 6 years, filed for divorce 4 years ago and the lawyers still have not reached an agreement. I was initially worried dating him since hi...
A. 28 September 2015: Hi, I will be very honest with you here. The gorilla in the room here seems to be you were becoming involved with a married man who has children. Civil divorce does not necessarily break the bond of marriage. What I see here is you putting your... (read in full...)
I have developed this really bad phobia of marriage and relationships! Help me see reason!
Q. Hi! I had a very bad experience of my first marriage of 1 week! I asked for divorce and am still a virgin, that's how bad my experience was. Anyways my problem is that now I can't seem to trust anyone! Everyone says that not everyone is like your ...
A. 22 September 2015: I think I'll address your fears and maybe that will lead you to other conclusions. Being married for only one week is certainly not a typical scenario. It is abnormal to say the least. But I think that abnormality works in your favor because ... (read in full...)
Advice please? should I contact him first?
Q. So I went on a date with a guy on Saturday night, it's now Monday evening and I still haven't heard anything- should I contact him first? Any advice appreciated Thank you...
A. 22 September 2015: I'm going to take this at a different angle than the previous post because I'm not sure we have enough information about how the date went in order to give you good advice. Did he indicate he wanted to go out again? Or perhaps ask you when you were ... (read in full...)
Should we end the marriage rather than try save it for the sake of our daughter
Q. I did it. I have finally confronted my husband to let him know how unhappy I am in our marriage. We argue about silly things. Mainly most recently due to our toddler growing up and how different we deal with her been corrected. For a long time when ...
A. 16 September 2015: I understand your situation and I'll tell you in full disclosure I've never been married, however I know many couples who have been married 50 years plus so I will repeat to you what they have told me. You mentioned fighting a lot. That seems to ... (read in full...)
Is this friend trustworthy or is he cheating?
Q. Married woman(14 yrs) love marriage not very easy married life. his folks always tried to rip us apart. he too had an affair but when his financial condition was bad she dumped him. he realised my love nadis now back.his folks are better now.but i ...
A. 11 August 2015: I agree with the previous post. If you are considering an affair, then I would say there is something wrong with your marriage. I think sometimes people think the grass is greener on the other side, but that really isn't true most of the time. His ... (read in full...)
We had a nice date but now he's acting cold. Should I ask him out or wait?
Q. I met this guy on tinder and we went on a date 2 weeks ago, it went so well, even he admitted he had "a very good evening", we have been talking a lot since, even when I was on holiday last week we were messaging. The last 5 days or so he's been ...
A. 11 August 2015: Like the previous posters said, there could be a lot of reasons. I find the same thing happening to me with women all the time. We'll go out or talk for a while and then they kind of vaporize for no apparent reason. It could be he's afraid and ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll be alone always. Is there any hope for me
Q. sorry to ask this but, im a 25 old old male and its been a while since i've had a relationship with anyone. i always worry that one day i'll never end up in a relationship ever again, and i'll wind dying alone and simply dont want that to happen to ...
A. 11 August 2015: Yes there is always hope. I'm in a similar situation and I'm 35! Don't give up hope, because if you do, you can't win. If you stay persistent it will work out in time. Good luck!... (read in full...)
I'm interested in a guy at work but am not good at flirting and am wondering if I should pursue things?
Q. I've been single for a while now, and I thought I was looking for some fun (had some bad experience with past relationships), but I've realised enough is enough, I'm not going out of my way to find a guy but I am sneakily looking lol.. Anyway, I...
A. 11 August 2015: Hi, from what I've observed, I'm hesitant to recommend a work relationship primarily because if things go bad in the relationship, you still have to see him and work with him everyday. There's also the issue of maybe seeing too much of each other, ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to ask my former HS if she would like to meet for lunch?
Q. I've been out of HS for 15 years now but I do still keep in touch with my Spanish teacher, because she was more than a teacher to me, she was a strong support and I know for certain I would not be where I am today had it not been for her support and ...
A. 5 August 2015: Thank you again. I'm not married to the idea of asking her to go to lunch, I just thought it was a possible way to say thank you. This lady is basically old enough to be my mother! She's over 50 so I would hope nobody would think anything ina... (read in full...)
Is it ok to ask my former HS if she would like to meet for lunch?
Q. I've been out of HS for 15 years now but I do still keep in touch with my Spanish teacher, because she was more than a teacher to me, she was a strong support and I know for certain I would not be where I am today had it not been for her support and ...
A. 5 August 2015: Thanks ladies, just a little follow up, the way it happened was I saw her and her husband at a fundraiser in June at the school. He knows me, and who I am, but we are not on a first name basis, etc. but he is a great guy and very well educated and ... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 4 August 2015: I agree completely Honey pie. We are going downhill fast. About the orange comment I made...I know of women who have called the police when a guy approached them in a store, on the street, or in another public arena. I wouldn't believe it if I ... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 4 August 2015: Hi honey pie, thank you, I think your answer is fair and well thought out. As I was telling Tisha earlier, I actually did have 2 female friends review my profile and I implemented their suggestions. It wasn't anything radical, just some small subtle ... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 4 August 2015: Thank you Tisha, I will tell you what I have done and what I haven't. I have not made an effort to kind of sell myself in my emails. I will try to be more attentive to that going forward. I have asked 2 female friends to review the profile, whi... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 3 August 2015: Ladies, let's hold our horses here for a second, we don't need to get angry over a question. If I came across as being upset or bitter, I did not intend to, and I apologize for that, I'm just trying to seek answers and I acknowledge my words can ... (read in full...)
Online dating - why do women never reply to email?
Q. I admit I've tried online dating because it's convenient and saves a lot of time and creates a certain comfort level for people because a person can always choose not to respond and feel no pressure. My problem is nobody responds. When I send a ...
A. 3 August 2015: Thanks to those who replied, but to the female replies, I think the answer you guys provided is unfortunate. If you say you get a couple hundred messages a day a just don't have time, I don't really believe it in all honesty because if you were ... (read in full...)
Is this man using me as a back up or did he actually like me?
Q. Should I give this guy another chance? I recently met a guy on match, he is 11 yrs older than myself and is early 50s. We met at least on 5 occasions. The last time I stayed over at his place, we got a little intimate but we never went all the way...
A. 3 August 2015: Wow that is an interesting question. It's funny you mention that because I have women do the same thing to me. Just last week I ran into a friend I had not seen in a year, and she asked me a ton of questions and seemed sincerely interested in how I ... (read in full...)
How do I regain my dignity back after lashing out at my cheating ex and friend?
Q. Hi, I was on before about finding out about my ex and my friend having an affair. For months I acted normal and said nothing as I had no real proof - just a gut feeling. I was going to just cut them out of my life and move on - until I discover...
A. 1 August 2015: Unfortunately infidelity is so common today, and as someone who watched it happen with my own father and to see my mother victimized is a very tough thing. Anger in a case like this is justified. Whatever you said, at the time you felt it had to be ... (read in full...)
My neighbor and I hooked up 4 times and then broke things off. Now I feel like I need to move!
Q. ok so my neighbor is a 28 single, bachelor, and i'm a 28 single, bachelorrette.. who both work full time...one night he came over to hang out with me, we played video games, talked and had wine..prior to that, we had gone out on one date...I really ...
A. 31 July 2015: Hi, I think what you have here is an attack of conscience. This is a good thing. I think you feel like you made a mistake and the fact that you feel that way is a good sign because it speaks to your character, which seems very good. It was a ... (read in full...)
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