Should I stay with my boyfriend who has been talking to girls behind my back?
Q. I have a deliemma. I had a baby two weeks ago, and since my booyfriend has been looking at porn and messaging girls on my space, telling them he wants to have sex with them. I found out the other night and since I've just been a wreck. It hurts SO ...
A. 9 February 2010: Having a baby puts a strain on any relationship but that doesn't excuse what he did.
The fact that he is showing remorse now could be seen as a good thing but, as you say, why didn't he think about it in the first place?
I wouldn't advise ... (read in full...)
I like two guys one is nice and handy the other lives some distance away
Q. I like 2 guys. One of them is my age and I spent sometime hanging out with him a few nights ago, at his house, alone and we confessed to liking each other. The other guy is not my age, lives further away and we've liked each other for a while. What ...
A. 2 February 2010: Sounds like a tricky decision...You haven't said much about the personalities of these guys which is what I'd be basing this decision on.
Going on what you have said, it seems like this guy who lives near you and is your age would be ideal bu... (read in full...)
Do you think this is true love?
Q. I thought i was in love with my ex when we were together but this relationship is so much better!, is this what love feels like? Me and my current Girlfriend started dating almost 2 weeks ago, and it feels totally different than anything i have ...
A. 13 October 2008: Well it's hard to say if it's true love after 2 weeks but it sounds like the two of you work well together and it could, possibly, be/develop in to true love.
I hope that everything continues to go well for the two of you; best of luck! :)... (read in full...)
He has a baby with his ex and when I see them together I feel so jealous even although he's with me now.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months now. I am really happy but then comes the jealousy. He has a baby with his ex and I'm so happy for him but when he sees the baby and her, I feel like their old memories are going to come back to light and ...
A. 10 October 2008: This guy is clearly a decent guy if he is still spending time with his child despite not being with the mother anymore; a lot of guys I know wouldn't bother.
The fact that he's a decent guy, in this respect, suggests to me that he wouldn't... (read in full...)
My girlfriend decided she doesn't want to have sex anymore.
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a while. We dated dated in high school twice, seperated by a whole year. Everything was good. When I first started dating her, she told me that she wanted to wait to have sex. I was fine with this and we ...
A. 10 October 2008: You need to try and talk to your girlfriend about why this has changed; have her feelings for you changed and is this why she won't have sex, or is it something else?
At the end of the day, you need to know so you know if there's anything you can ... (read in full...)
I want some sort of commitment from her, is her moving in with me the answer?
Q. Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for over 5 years now and we have had mostly a very good and happy relationship but there has been one thing that has been missing and that is us living together, I asked her after 2 years if she would move in wi...
A. 10 October 2008: You need to speak to her about why she doesn't want to move in. To me, 5 years is a long time to be with someone and not be ready to take it further in any way.
Has she lived with anyone else before, or would it be the first time she moved ou... (read in full...)
Am I right for being jealous and controlling, or am I just doing too much?
Q. Dear Cupid, THIS IS REALLY LONG! I need to tell the whole story to get a clear answer!! I have been seeing my boyfriend now since May and we became officially boyfriend and girlfriend in June. In the beginning the relationship was amazing...
A. 9 October 2008: He obviously seems pretty upset at you and is maybe being a little harsh but, if you want try to fix it, you need to back off a little.
I know how addicting it can be once you get in to the cycle of checking emails and texts but you need to think... (read in full...)
Am I right for being jealous and controlling, or am I just doing too much?
Q. Dear Cupid, THIS IS REALLY LONG! I need to tell the whole story to get a clear answer!! I have been seeing my boyfriend now since May and we became officially boyfriend and girlfriend in June. In the beginning the relationship was amazing...
A. 9 October 2008: Ok, so maybe he was in the wrong with some of the texts he sent to the girls but I think the thing here is that if you don't trust him then you're going to push him away. Going through his phone and his emails is very extreme and; even if I weren'... (read in full...)
We don't spend enough time together...is it just me?
Q. I am 27 and my fiancee is 34. I have been previously married, no children. He has 2 children from a previous marriage that stays with us every second weekend. My fiancee used to play sports once a week but it has steadily progresses to 3 nights a...
A. 9 October 2008: I've had conversations with people about the same kind of thing as my boyfriend plays a lot of cricket for a local team in summer and wouldn't miss a game on my 21st because it's that important to him. I thought it was a bit unfair but, afte... (read in full...)
What does "One of the Guys" mean?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am concluding a cheating episode with my fiance and ultimately trying to forgive him, but I am curious as to an explanation he has stated to me. He had cheated with me with one particular girl for a while and I asked him why? He said...
A. 9 October 2008: I think he probably means that she seemed a lot easier to talk to and so in that sense it seemed like she was 'one of the guys'. I know my boyfriend has described other girls in that way before and I can see why guys are often attracted to tho... (read in full...)
I'm tired of putting in this effort in this crazy relationship while he sits and makes strange comments?
Q. Hello, I have a few questions actually. I have been in a relationship for 4 years now and it seems like things are slowly getting worse. I do everything i can for this man but he keeps saying these random comments like "I think i sould leave" or ...
A. 9 October 2008: To be honest, it sounds like you could do a lot better; you shouldn't be the one putting all the effort in and then have him keep threatening to leave...besides if he really wants to leave, why hasn't he? He either doesn't really know what he wants ... (read in full...)
I don't want to split with her... what do I do?
Q. I've been dating this girl for 4 months now. I really care about her. However, we'll both be going off to college in a few months. I know the chances of us being together forever are slim but I still can't stand to think of my life without her and ...
A. 9 October 2008: Tell her how you feel; it can work if you want it to but you both have to want it. If she wants to split I'm afraid you can't do much about it though. If the two of you do split then, although it may seem hard at first, you'll find that you're... (read in full...)
Is there any point in discussing what we each want out of this relationship when I cant see it going anywhere? Should I just break it off?
Q. I think my relationship is in trouble. You know how you can go out with someone and it's pretty good, not too dreadful, and you start dating regularly, and it just stays sort of OK and doesn't really go anywhere? That's how I feel. I've been...
A. 8 October 2008: What do you think will hurt/offend her more? Telling her the truth now or leaving it and leaving it until it turns nasty and you face an ugly break up?
I think honesty is the best policy here and telling her now, though it may not be easy and coul... (read in full...)
He says spending less time together will save the relationship. Is he being honest here?
Q. My bf of 7 months, said to me the other weekend that we need to spend time apart so like instead of me seeing him everyday i will see him on the weekends, tuesdays and thursdays and sometimes fridays nites after we both finish work,we use to argue a ...
A. 8 October 2008: To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with the suggestion you have some ime apart from each other; everyone needs some space every now and again, specially if you were arguing a lot. Don't worry about what your friend says, unless she has s... (read in full...)
Is it normal that I'm feeling this upset and angry towards some humans who can do things like this to other living creatures?
Q. Ok this is nothing to do with love I guess I'm just looking for comfort... I've just read the most horrific case of animal cruelty on the net and I'm in tears. I love animals and support the RSPCA. But sitting here now, I'm so upset by it, tha...
A. 8 October 2008: I just read that story on the link; I cannot understand cruelty to animals at all. I've grown up in a household full of pets and I just don't get how people can be so cruel; one of our cats was dumped in a wheely bin as a kitten and his paws were ... (read in full...)
When we broke up he went on a date with someone else. We got back together, but when I found out I was so hurt I want to break up again!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 3 years. We broke up for a week, he went on a date with another girl and then asked me back out. I went back out with him before I found out that he went on a date. I just recently found out and called him ...
A. 8 October 2008: I can understand that you feel upset but I don't necessarily think you needed to break up with him.
If it was just a date then I think that is forgivable; he obviously didn't want to carry anything on with this girl and it may have even been one... (read in full...)
We have a sexual history and now I want to be just friends. Is that possible or will he always see me as a sex object?
Q. I've decided that I just want to be friends with someone where the only other 2 times we've met we've hooked up. I don't know why I made it so easy for this person, I'm usually not that type of girl. We didn't actually have sex, just performed oral ...
A. 8 October 2008: I think if you tell him how you feel about the situation then there's no reason why he should view you as a sex object.
I must admit that there is one of my male friends who I slept with 4 years ago and I know very well that he thinks I'm slutty a... (read in full...)
He has moved on and I am still stuck on him. I cant get over him!
Q. I'm 16. I dated(unofficially) this guy (17 y/o) for 3 months - May, June and July. Things were great in the beginning and he had been in previous relationships, but I hadn't. We didn't kiss or do anything like that.. I used to hug only, because as...
A. 8 October 2008: What is it, exactly, you like about this guy? From what you've said he doesn't sound that great; he dated another girl while he was dating you, he left you for this other girl, he ignores you pretty much and he knows very well that he has hurt you ... (read in full...)
I had light diarrhoea after eating spicy food, will this effect the pill?
Q. Hi I would just like to confirm something. On Saturday i had sex with my fi. I had eaten abit of spicy food and i took my pill in the night. However due to the spicy food, i had a slight but of diarrhoea (abt half an hour of taking the pill)...
A. 8 October 2008: Diarrhoea can affect the pill and make it less effective but if you've been taking them on time and not missed any, I don't think there should be a huge problem but if you're really worried then get it check out. :)... (read in full...)
I cheated on my husband 6 years ago with his best friend.
Q. I cheated on my husband 6 years ago with his best friend. I told him after the fact and we have been together ever since. We are still friends with his friend. We have 3 children together and I love him with all of my heart. He is my world. There ...
A. 7 October 2008: Have you thought about marriage counselling? It might help to get some of these issues which have been kept inside out in the open, by both of you.
You clearly both love each other a lot and don't want to lose what you've got and it's good tha... (read in full...)
I think this girl is amazing and a personality to die for and I want to be with her but what do I do?
Q. Hi I have known a girl for 4 years. We were quite close but this year have really grown to like this girl and I eventually asked her out. We saw each other all Saturday and Sunday and we were brilliant together. But on Sunday night I got a call ...
A. 7 October 2008: Honestly, it sounds as though she could be trying to let you down gently and not hurting you...whenever I've told a guy 'maybe', it's quite often a gentle 'no'. But I could be wrong, it might just not be great timing for her.
I think, if you real... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me with a few thoughts on how much time and space I should give this girl?
Q. Ladies, (or gents) can anyone help me with a few thoughts on how much time and space I should give this girl? I have been spending some time lately with a girl I like a lot. We have a lot in common and want a lot of the same things in life (home in ...
A. 7 October 2008: I'd say there is not definite answer; how much space or time a person needs is a totally individual thing and she may need a lot of time or jus a little. I'd say that, when she gets back, let her know you are there for her if she wants anyone to ... (read in full...)
Would you go back to a cheater?
Q. Just a survey to see what people would do if their significant other cheated. So, I got up the guts to tell my friend her boyfriend cheated on her. He's great at hiding it because he always talks to her, sends her presents, and is planning to go s...
A. 7 October 2008: If I'm totally honest, if my bf cheated on me; depending why he did it and the circumstances, then I might possibly consider getting back with him. I think that sometimes relationships need to be worked at to be successful and sometimes, not a... (read in full...)
I want to ask her if there's someone else but I'm afraid of the answer.
Q. My girlfriend is hanging out a lot with her friends. I am okay with that because she should have her own private time to do what she likes and with the people she wants to. Usually, she goes out for her hobbies. I tried to like what she likes b...
A. 7 October 2008: The only way she can clear your doubts is if you ask her. Yes, the answer you may get might not be what you want to hear but at least you won't be worrying about it and the two of you can talk it through and decide where to go from there. Y... (read in full...)
She's left me because she wants a kid at 30 and didn't think I could give her that.
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years now and this year was the year I was going to ask her to marry me. All she's gone on about since January / February this year is when are you going to ask me to marry you, when are we going to have ba...
A. 7 October 2008: Sadly, I think she has made the decision for you. Even though she may keep changing her mind saying she regrets it, she's still seeing this other guy and unwilling to compromise in terms of when she has a child; she doesn't seem to want to make it ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant - what would YOU do in my situation?
Q. I'm pregnant by a married man who is going through a divorce.we are both in the army and he is deploying he thinks the best thing to do is abort the baby but I don't believe in abortion and want to keep it we both do in away. But he is worried about ...
A. 6 October 2008: You can only do what you feel is right.
True; finances are a huge issue when having a baby as is becoming a parent when you're not ready.
If the two of you feel that you don't think you could cope becoming parents in your current situatio... (read in full...)
My friends use and abuse me! How can I ask new friends to hang out?
Q. Ive come to the realisation lately that I need to make new friends. I have one friend who I would say isa true and great friend...but she lives in my hometown which is across the otherside of the country! My 'friends' that i have made where I ...
A. 6 October 2008: I totally nderstand what you are going through and making friends isn't easy but, at uni, you are exposed to so many people and social situations it doesn't have to be difficult.
The fact that you have already started to form some kind of relation... (read in full...)
How do I stop peeing on him at night? It's embarrassing...
Q. I'm having an odd problem. My fiance and I generally sleep in the nude. We're always very close and snuggled up, wrapped around one another. Thursday night, we were sleeping and I was having a bizarre dream that basically ended with me going to the ...
A. 6 October 2008: It could be a urinary tract infection causing this; in which case you'd need some anti-biotics so it may be worth a visit to the doctor. I don't think you shouldn't be embarassed about telling your fiance about the problem; if you know each other ... (read in full...)
How do I accept that marriage will never happen for me?
Q. I am 36 years old and never married. I have been living with my boyfriend of 5 years for the last 3 years. I have a 13 year old daughter.(not his) Anyway, He convinced me to quit my job and help him build his buisness. Which I did, with no pay. ...
A. 3 October 2008: If marriage is that important to you tell your boyfriend how you feel. He might not realise that you see it like that.
You shouldn't feel stupid or used; I don't believe he has used you. He's right in a way, it shouldn't be about the legality... (read in full...)
Does sex have to feel so mechanical?
Q. Another one of the thousands of sex questions on this site, but I really have no one else to talk to about this sensitive subject. I have a boyfriend who I've been with for 8 years... but we're really just best friends now. About 4 years ago, the...
A. 3 October 2008: I can find it difficult and quite painful when using condoms too; it gets all dry and then I'm too focused on that and can't enjoy it.
A little lube, like 'supermum' suggests, usually helps a lot for me; you should try it.
Obviously you... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm nothing to him anymore.
Q. Ok i have posted before but i am desperate now. i have been with my bf for 15months.. i was everything to him now i feel like a nothing to him. He says daily he loves me and im wondering if it is just habit.. or friendship love or what 1....
A. 3 October 2008: It sounds as though you think about this a lot; the more you think about it, the worse it can get sometimes. You've obviously tried talking to your boyfriend about it but, the problem is, the more you bring it up and ask, the more it could push him ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my internet addiction?
Q. I have a major procastinating/internet/facebook addiction, which includes surfing the web for long inhumane periods of time and looking at other people's lifes and photo albums, when I should be studying... It's becoming a problem, what can I do?...
A. 3 October 2008: Procrastination gets the better of us all at some point; when I was at uni I always went on facebook and searched through everyone's profile for hours just to avoid doing an essay. I never found a way to stop it as such but I would clear my d... (read in full...)
Condoms not only stop aids, they stop pregnancies...
Q. Why do so many people think that if you’re a virgin you don’t need to use a condom? Yes I’m 13 but I know what can happen if you don’t use one… yes I am still a virgin before you jump to conclusions! But the points in condoms are 1) To stop you f...
A. 2 October 2008: I'd say that you're pretty wised up; although I probably would disagree with one or two points about the risks of abortions to fertility as I would say that's quite minimal, but that's not the point, the point is that thinking it's okay if you get ... (read in full...)
He tells me he loves me but the way he acts is improper and tells me differently... what do you think?
Q. Last night I went to see my friend who has just had a baby boy last week. Before I left my boyfriend had said to me "don't get any ideas" talking about having a child which isn't like him at all as before he used to say I cant wait to have kids but ...
A. 2 October 2008: It sounds like you know what you need to do; get rid of him.
Is it really worth being this unhappy just to have someone to talk to?
Your friend may have just had a baby and be really happy but that doesn't mean she won't care about your probl... (read in full...)
I hate him for the constant abuse that he puts me through yet I cannot leave him for fear of being alone!
Q. I am constantly being told that I feel sorry for myself all the time from my boyfriend. I dont think I am like this, infact I would say I'm not at all. I hardly ever moan about things and when I do I save it kinda lol so it's like one big moan a ...
A. 2 October 2008: You need to get out of that relationship for a start. He is putting you down and destroying your self confidence and self worth.
We've all been worried about being lonely and stayed with someone for all the wrong reasons, but once you break up... (read in full...)
Should I fight to stay with the father of my unborn child? I feel depressed as he doesn't want me or his child.
Q. Should I fight to stay with the father of my unborn child? I love him so much and want this baby. He insists that he doesnt want to be with me and has been going out with his mates every night since he split up with me. I feel absolutely cr...
A. 2 October 2008: While it may be painful, specially considering your pregnant, you have to consider what is best for you as well as what's best gor your child. If he insists he doesn't want to be with you, why waste your time? There'll be plenty of other men out... (read in full...)
Should I risk our friendship by telling her how I feel?
Q. Ok I need some major help here: I love my best friend, she is the most beautiful, interesting, amazing woman, and I have known her for about 4 years and 9 months, and been in love with her for about 4 years and 8 months, she is 23, I am 24. I can ...
A. 2 October 2008: Well this is a toughy! From what you said about how you feel for her I just want to tell you to tell her and see where it goes!
The fact she has a boyfriend makes it a bit confusing though. If she's happy with this guy then I wouldn't recommen... (read in full...)
Why do girls give oral sex?
Q. do girls give guys bj's because they want to or do they just do it to make the guys feel good in a relationship...
A. 2 October 2008: Well it depends!
Some girls love giving head and genuinly want to do it and, sadly, other girls often feel pressured to do it to please their boyfriends.... (read in full...)
I think my little sister is having sex. How should I handle this?
Q. I’m 20 male and have a 15 year old half sister who leaves with my Dad. I know she has had a bf for the last 4-5 months of which I didn’t think anything of it. The problem is, whilst I checking her social networking site for weird people and stuff...
A. 2 October 2008: A lot of 15 year old girls go out with guys a few years older than them; I did and I thought that it meant my relationship was a lot more mature and meaningful than if I'd gone out with a younger guy, my own age.
Looking back I can see that it ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with him and be miserable - or what?
Q. I have been in a relationship on and off for 3 years, I am now finding myself less attracted to my boyfriend. He has put on lots of weight and I am finding it hard to get the same feelings I did for him. Don't get me wrong, I still love him, but I ...
A. 2 October 2008: I would never recommend staying with someone if it's going to make you miserable. It's not fair on you and, most of all, it's not fair on him.
If you really want to stay with this guy you need things to change; you need to encourage him to becom... (read in full...)
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