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*eingblack agony aunt

*eingblack

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Why the different reactions from guys on different nights?

Q.   Question for men. Do you guys feel a certain vibe coming from women when they are welcoming and ready for some action? The reason why I am asking this because recently I became single again, and I go out a lot. Some nites guys one after another ...

A.   2 June 2013: For many men in bars and clubs, a beautiful and sexily dressed woman is the most frightening creature on the planet. I have sat and 'people watched' with friends, and seen guys of all types get tongue tied, and red with shame while trying to chat... (read in full...)

Has my ex husband changed or is this a threat?

Q.   I have an abusive ex husband who I've recently left, and he really wants to get back together -he's out to a new place for work and has sent this to me - what does this email below mean? Has he really changed or is this a threat or why is he sending ...

A.   17 February 2013: This is not a threat at all, but he will NEVER completely change. I have four sisters, and two were victims in abusive relationships. My sisters were the VICTIMS of abuse. Over my lifetime it has been really difficult to try to stay out of the v... (read in full...)

Agony Aunts/Uncles need to open their hearts and minds rather than judging

Q.   I wrote in yesterday and got a lot of very negative and hurtful comments from so-called agony aunts on here who seemed to think they know all about my relationship when they have never met me or my girlfriend. I wrote back to defend myself but ...

A.   16 February 2013: It's all perception, isn't it? Nothing personal, just other peoples perception of your situation. If I had personally witnessed the screaming mother scenario from a strangers perspective, I would have simply assumed that she was being prot... (read in full...)

I'm concerned that she's more excited by the dildos than me. Is this a deal breaker for marriage, if that's true?

Q.   Hello all, I'll give a little background first. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. I'm 46 she's 41 both of us have been divorced from former spouses for over 5 years. We became sexually active after about 5 mon...

A.   10 February 2013: I will say that you are at an age where there should be no surprises in your life. If I were to meet a woman in your age range who told me she had NEVER tried a sex toy, I would be, lets say, a little skeptical. My partner is in this age range, and ... (read in full...)

He makes me feel secondary to pornstars. Is it a stupid reason to dump someone because they don't make you feel sexually desirable enough?

Q.   Right my situation might be perceived to some as someone who has got their priorities wrong but I will continue.... Is it a stupid reason to dump someone because they don't make you feel sexually desirable enough? I am sure that he cared l...

A.   9 February 2013: Yes, it is a stupid reason. Primarily because it is YOUR stupid reason, not his. Just because he was a virgin before you, it doesn't automatically follow that he looks at you as if you are some sort of sexual goddess. If that news is a hefty blow... (read in full...)

Now that her mom is sick, she only has time for her friends. Should I end things?

Q.   Hi I've been seeing a girl for nearly 2 years,she is great and everything but recently her mother has become ill, so she has to look after her. Now i ask to see her but she always says shes busy looking after mum, but she goes to the cinema once ...

A.   3 February 2013: There is nothing to end, she has ended things already. If I was 'dating' a girl who lived only ten minutes away, who would not allow me to come to her house, who was going out without me in her spare time, and whom I had not seen in 3 months, I woul... (read in full...)

Why would anyone refuse a free trip to a tropical paradise? Why won't my boyfriend come to see my family with me?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for two years and we've been living together, with his family, for a long time. I got a big promotion at work and finally was able to buy plane tickets to see my little brother and mother in Florida. I've been so ...

A.   2 February 2013: It is easy to see that your boyfriend has control issues. YOU are miles from home, in a place where you rely on him for most things, and in a place where everything around him is comfortable and familiar. He is the boss in his own environm... (read in full...)

I feel as if I go out of my way for everyone and no-one can be bothered when it comes to me.

Q.   Its' my birthday today. A milestone. A special one. I've had a tear in my eye most of the day – not because I have reached 40 but because I feel so let down and now I'm feeling that maybe I'm being unreasonable, selfish and ungrateful. Situat...

A.   1 February 2013: Firstly, Happy Birthday for today. People say that life begins at 40, so tomorrow should be even better. Unfortunately, you have set yourself up for major disappointment on your 'big day'. It is nice and lovely and romantic to think that everyone... (read in full...)

A phone call shattered my world, find out husband had an affair. If I leave will it stop the pain?

Q.   Hi One evening I got a call from a girl saying to ask my husband who she is. I asked ... it is a work collegue who he has being having an affair with for 4 months. He said he ended it 1 month ago and didnt have sex. I believe him and he's promise...

A.   30 January 2013: I don't think that leaving him will help to ease your pain at all. Every single person on this planet is different, and you need to deal with the situation in the way that works best for you. If your gut insticnt is to walk away, even though you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has no endurance to be on top during sex

Q.   My boyfriend can't be on top during sex. He's about 220 lbs and he's around 6 feet tall, so he's a little overweight but not obese or anything, anyways he gets tired really easily and can't last on top at all. Like 5 to 10 minutes and he either has ...

A.   23 January 2013: I am not a fan of the BMI, it is a silly scale that doesn't take any muscle mass into it's calculation. According to the BMI, such fantastic football athletes like quarterbacks Tom Brady and Peyton Manning are overweight, while linebacker Patr... (read in full...)

Is is true that guys think less make up is better?

Q.   So the guy i'm seeing has been coming over mine recently, the thing is at the beginning I used to wear a lot of make up thinking i needed it. But now i've noticed I like waking up with only a bit of makeup and feeling more fresh looking, although ...

A.   20 January 2013: There are many areas where male and female have little or no understanding of each other's viewpoints, and make-up is one of them. I have dated women who have worn so much make up that their faces look a little orange, and others who have worn hard... (read in full...)

Anyone have a boyfriend who was so satisfied he gave up porn?

Q.   Are there any women here whose boyfriend's stopped watching porn because they felt they didn't need it anymore because they were satisfied fully? My ex claimed he would of stopped anyway if I hadn't of told him to stop....

A.   20 January 2013: I do not watch porn per se, but probably would do under different circumstances. Generally, men do not watch porn because their girlfriend/wife/partner cannot satisfy them. Porn is for pure fantasy and masturbation. Telling a porn watcher to stop... (read in full...)

Why is this guy ignoring me? We had a great 3 days together. I know he has a Gf.

Q.   I had a great time with a guy for 3 continous days. It wasn't supposed to be a date but we met for a lunch at 1pm....and the date ended up 3am! It was not supposed to be a date as he was leaving the country and he already has a girlfriend. How...

A.   25 December 2012: He has a girlfriend, which you knew about. As you said yourself, it was just a fling, so why are you still bothering to think about him. He has a girlfriend, so he doesn't want or need another complication. He enjoyed your time together as much as y... (read in full...)

Should I be upset about my Christmas present?

Q.   Ok... I'm just wanting some opinions. Last year for our first Christmas, my boyfriend bought me some electronics. such as a DVD player and a Nintendo wii. (which was nice of him.) I know it was the thought that counts, I am more of a romantic person ...

A.   22 December 2012: I am in the same age bracket as yourself, but I guess I must have had a tough upbringing. From as long as I can remember, I received gifts of all types at Christmas, some I wanted, many I didn't, but I was always very grateful. Grateful that someone ... (read in full...)

My inability to orgasm is causing me to not enjoy sex with the man I love.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year. We love each other very much, he's my best friend, he's so caring and we are very affectionate. However, whenever we have sex.....I just don't enjoy it! I find him incredibly attractive, but ...

A.   22 December 2012: Firstly, never ever ever ever ever STOP using your vibrator. I can't believe anyone would suggest that. Like most of the women here have suggested, it is only a small percentage of women who can orgasm through penetrative sex. So do not worry at a... (read in full...)

What goes through a man's mind when he watches porn?

Q.   Can some actually explain to us women what happens when watching porn? Does it make the man feel like he is having sex with the woman on the screen? Apparently I am told they are not watching it to pretend they are the man in the video. I am ...

A.   12 December 2012: I don't believe that anyone can completely explain what makes a man or woman orgasm through masturbation, simply because we all have different sexual responses. Many men watch porn to masturbate. I say agin - WATCH PORN TO MASTURBATE. Many wome... (read in full...)

Am I a racist for not liking a black guy?  

Q.   I’m a young gay man and I feel like I’m a bad person. I’m receiving a lot of attention from a black guy (I'm white myself). He’s being really nice, giving me small gifts and everything, asking me to go out with him. We’ve talked many times, he’s a ...

A.   8 September 2012: Obviously, I am black, and over the years I have dated all sorts and types of women. But they have been predominantly white, that is simply due to my personal preference. So am I racist for not dating black women? Absolutely not, if I meet any... (read in full...)

Does this married older woman want to sleep with me?

Q.   Ok im 21 and i work in an office with only one other male, all the rest are female. There is one woman in the office who is constantly flirting with me and complimenting me--and i mean outrageously. At a recent night out too she stayed with me all ...

A.   14 July 2012: She is married. You work at the same company. I may be wrong, but you do not sound like the most experienced of guys. So ... STAY CLEAR!!!!... (read in full...)

I'm pretty much a walking hormone and masturbate daily! Is it normal?

Q.   I'm 19 this year, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, never had sex, nothing. And most of you will understand that at this age, I'm pretty much a walking hormone. I'm gonna be honest and say that I'm horny 70-80% of the time and have a lot of ...

A.   8 July 2012: You have nothing to worry about at all, masturbating is completely normal. The people you spoke with have probabaly lied to you, masturbation seems STILL to be quite a taboo subject, especially for girls. Most guys I know masturbate very often, s... (read in full...)

I'm really jealous about my girlfriend's sexual past... help?

Q.   I know that this subject has been addressed somewhat heavily on here, but I still felt as though I needed to discuss my own situation. I am with my current G/F for several months, and this is the first time that I've ever been in love with a woman ...

A.   9 June 2012: My girlfriend has lived her life to date in a mid size city in England, whereas I am from London. She was almost 30 when I met her, an ex model, and had 2 children, and I guess numerous boyfriends before I knew her. Sexually, she is everything a ma... (read in full...)

How can I keep it a secret if I get involved with a married man?

Q.   I posted a question earlier about a relationship with an older man who is married with children. I thought he was flirting with me and it turns out he was. We met to talk about the project we're both involved in and he drove me home (again!). I...

A.   5 June 2012: I don't think anyone here will help you in your cause. Basically, you are asking people to assist you with having a fling with a married man. To help both of you get away with it, and keep it quiet from his wife and family. Two things:- Firstly,... (read in full...)

How do I get men interested regardless of my weight?

Q.   Hi everybody. Before I had kids and met my ex I was 140 lbs and I would get approached by men left right and center. Now 3 kids and one divorce later it's like I don't get approached at all. I mean I'm a very pretty woman and all but the weight has ...

A.   4 June 2012: I have dated women of all sizes, and all heights, and once you feel that attraction for someone, their size and weight becomes irrevelant. It is down to you. If you feel that BECAUSE of your weight, men will not find you attractive, then that will... (read in full...)

I have let a 19 year old chat me up, and now I'm wondering, what's the harm?

Q.   Been a silly girl I know. But have let a 19 yr old chat me up, he's obviously only after one thing, trouble is, I am 40. We're both single. But... Anyway, I have been single 4 yrs now, and working non stop, I keep thinking so what! Bit of fun? All...

A.   4 May 2012: When I was 19, I went out with a 36 year old company director for about 9 months. It was difficult, as by day she had to appear as professional as possible. In those 9 months we only met a few times in the day, and had to kind of sneak around in t... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be with someone 24/7?

Q.   My sister is dating this guy and he moved in with her about 6 months ago. they have been together 13 months. they are getting married in 1 week. my problem is this: He goes everywhere with her. he doesnt work nor does she. she goes to school. but he ...

A.   1 May 2012: This is wrong on so many levels. They are only 20, but the writing is already on the wall as far as I'm concerned. It's not her, it's him. He sounds exceedingly insecure. He needs to let go, allow her a little space to grow as a person, and she ... (read in full...)

FWB has frozen me out. Is his ego that fragile?

Q.   Ok, hope I can put this down in some sense making way, might be quite long so thank you in advance to anyone who can be bothered reading it all.. I've been seeing this guy from my home town for last few months. It was never going to be serious as...

A.   10 March 2012: I am from a slightly older generation, but the definition of an FWB relationship seems to be a very loose, and non commital style partnership. Feel free to correct me, if I'm wrong. So I am wondering why you feel so massively affected by the rece... (read in full...)

How can I trust my husband that he isn't lying about pornography?

Q.   I have a couple questions... My husband has been addicted to porn for many years, even before we met, and he has lied to me about it. I have caught him several times both in the act and in a lie. He has lied to me so many times about it and I have ...

A.   10 March 2012: I am not sure why so many women are against men watching porn, and why they do not understand that for a man, porn and masturbation are usually tightly intertwined. Most women masturbate. My woman does, regularly. What she thinks about while sh... (read in full...)

Why does my b/f want a threeseome with 2 girls but won't even consider 2 guys?

Q.   hi so i need some good advise ive been with my bf 3 yrs now he watches porn which is not a problem i watch it with him but he likes to watch group sex and said it really turns him on then the other night he asked me if i would have a 3 some with him ...

A.   9 March 2012: I'm sure that your boyfriends MFF fantasy is one where the two women love him, have sex with each other for his benefit, and then fight over his orgasm. Clearly unreal, and the reality is never as good as the fantasy. The real threesome I'm afra... (read in full...)

How do I bring up to my wife that I know she's using her vibrator rather than having sex?

Q.   I'm married with young kids and have been with my wife for 10 years. Over the last few years our sex life has become almost non existant which we put donw to the pressures of having young children. Recently I have discovered that my wife is using a ...

A.   9 March 2012: I am intrigued as to how you know your wife uses her vibrator, without her telling you. How do you know the frequency? The saddest part is that even after 10 years of marriage, you feel you cannot discuss sex with your wife. I feel sorry to ques... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend a pedophile for watching cartoon toddler porn?

Q.   Is my boyfriend a pedophile for looking at cartoon porn depicting very young children? We've been going out for 6 months and since we've moved in together I've been secretly snooping on his laptop and have found many things that have disturbed me. ...

A.   3 March 2012: I am not convinced that your boyfriend is a paedophile, but I do know he has some very serious issues. As many aunts here have suggested, there are hundreds of 'types' of porn, and most people will only watch the type that turns them on. If he... (read in full...)

Men - if you have a really attractive girlfriend, do you still use porn? Do you feel guilty for using it?

Q.   Hi are there any men who have really attractive girlfriends as in lots of other people find them attract aswell and they are amazing in bed that still use porn? If so why don't you feel guilty for getting off on others? Also women who don't mind ...

A.   3 March 2012: Women - if you have a really attractive boyfriend, do you still fantasise about someone else when you masturbate? Do you feel guilty for doing it? If so, dont you feel guilty about getting off on someone else? After all, a woman can cleverly fant... (read in full...)

Has anyone here risked everything to follow their heart? What was the outcome?

Q.   Here is my question: aunts, have any of you (male or female) ever taken a major risk in order to follow your heart? If so, what was the outcome? Do you regret the decision? And here is why I ask. My boyfriend's job has given him notice that he m...

A.   3 March 2012: Hold on ladies, there has to be some 'male' perspective here! We fellas have tough choices to make too. On either side, there is massive risk involved, both with your career choices and the relationship itself. Having experienced this very same issu... (read in full...)

Should this change how I feel about my husband to be?

Q.   My Fiancé is a very inspiring person: born very poor single mother who had troubles with "the drink" (one Christmas he told me all he got was a black eye). Yet, he's now finishing a medical residency and has put everything behind him from his past, ...

A.   26 February 2012: Nothing should change the way you feel about the man the love now. Things that happened in the past, and relationships that he has had before have shaped his life and made him the way he is. My own partner experienced love, violence, and death from... (read in full...)

My boyfriend gets upset when I don't answer the phone

Q.   i am 46 single and live in uk and my muslim boyfriend is 26 years old, we met on a dating site. I look much younger than my age,we are planning to get married. My boyfriend gets really upset with me, when he cant get hold of me on the phone. He se...

A.   26 February 2012: I would personally tell him to back off, and let you live, or he will drive you away. It is not a case of religion, or culture, it is insecurity, plain and simple. You are twenty years older than him, and had far more life experience. Who does he ... (read in full...)

Wow! Cheated on twice in a row

Q.   I am devastated to say the least. The guy I have been dating for the last year, I found out was cheating on me. I know that these things happen, but it seems like they are happenening to much TO ME! I don't know what I'm doing wrong? In a nut ...

A.   21 February 2012: What are you doing wrong? Listen to yourself young lady! Firstly I would like to congratulate you on your success with your business and financial affairs, it warms my heart to hear such stories of self made stardom. In your personal life, however,... (read in full...)

Why didnt my husband back me up and come with me to the police station to lodge a complaint against his ex affair partner?

Q.   Long story short, my husband had an affair with an aquaintance whom we barely knew for 3 months, she is a friend of a friend and lives with her fiance and their son, i have asked for advice previously but i couldnt find the link. I basically fo...

A.   20 February 2012: I'm sorry, but this is far too dramatic, and you have made an unnecessary mountain out of your own misery. The Police? Really? The Police? You could have changed your email address, read and deleted theirs, or politely answered that you would no... (read in full...)

What does he mean? Is he flat out caring for his Mom or is he married?

Q.   I was having a conversation with the man I have been involved with for quite a while now and i told him that at times "I felt as though I was involved with a married man". Based on past behavior patterns that a lot of married men exhibit. His ...

A.   11 February 2012: You say you have been with this man for quite a while, and you also say things are pretty good. So if thats the case, why are you here asking for advice? Clearly, you hve doubts and need to be honest with yourself. I would ask how many times you ... (read in full...)

I'm 33 and never want to speak to my mother again

Q.   I'm having serious issues with my mother. I am 33 yrs old and can honestly say I hate my own mother. It all started when I started college at 20 yrs old. We use to clash a lot and she wld just take things to another level. She wld call me ...

A.   11 February 2012: I have read your post very carefully, and agree that your Mother and you see things from very different perspectives. But I would ask you to remember that she is your Mother, and we all have only one of those, ever. I do not speak to my own Moth... (read in full...)

He says he doesn't find me sexually attractive. But I still love him so much. What should I do?

Q.   I am 13 years older than my boyfriend we have been togeather for 6 months, he moved in with me in December of last year and we barley have sex, he said he has no desire, blaming it on himself like he has sexual problems, the times we have done it ...

A.   11 February 2012: You don't have to do anything at all, you haven't done anything wrong. You are currently living with a very weak man. Very weak indeed. When you were 300 pounds, and had low self esteem, he felt powerful, and he felt like a big sexy man. Now that ... (read in full...)

Do I give up on me orgasming so he can? My Boyfriend says I Squeeze too Much, too Early during Sex :(

Q.   OK, so here's my problem. My boyfriend says I squeeze my vagina too much too early during sex. All I'm doing is involuntarily starting to have a orgasm, which happens multiple times during sex IF i'm enjoying it. But he won't let me! He tol...

A.   22 January 2012: You sound just like my partner, she has big vaginal and pelvic contractions and has orgasms very quickly. It sounds like your boyfriend is scared of the force of your all round sexuality. When it comes to sex, everyone is completely differen... (read in full...)

Before we dated she revealed that she used to meet up with strangers for sex. I'm disgusted. Am I being too judgemental?

Q.   I have been dating a girl for the last 6 months. Last week she told me that she has used internet sites to meet guys for sex. This was before we dated and has not done it since. I am having a problem accepting it. It was not my business, I ...

A.   22 January 2012: Against the grain here, the answer is yes, you are being way too judgemental. How would you feel, if she had said that she used to meet guys in a club, to have one night stands? How about if she used to take 18-30 holidays, meet guys and have hol... (read in full...)

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