A
male
age
30-35,
*hatoneguywhocares
writes:Ok so I can't really tell if my girlfriend is a sociopath or not, I know all the symptoms and read ALOT about the subject but I can't tell if in emotionally in denial or maybe she just had a bunch of bad boyfriends in her passed and has always been a bit of a spoiled brat who always gets what she wants. (All her family is extremely wealthy) I know sociopaths don't have empathy or remorse or guilt. There's some small things that confuse me. She loves animals like all animals and I can't stand my cat and I was trying to get him off the table and kinda threw him but not like I wa even being mean about but she slap my shoulder and told me not to be mean to the cat. Also I read sociopaths are fearless and she's scare of hieghts and scared of the ocean cause her mom told her when she was young sharks would eat her. So my question is. What are some was when in actually with her to put her emotions to the test? I'm sick of reading symptoms, I want to actually see it. HELP! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): She's probably borderline. There is a test, but it can only be administered by a mental health professional.
You throwing a cat and wanting to 'test' your girlfriend really makes me wonder about whether you are psychopath...i wonder if there is a test for that. Seriously though, stop playing doctor when you aren't anything more than an armchair medical professional. An internet connection and the google does not give you medical license or diagnostic power.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 March 2013):
 You are not a doctor so STOP trying to diagnose her.
If you think she needs help from a therapist/psychiatrist then you should talk to her about that.
But even IF you are right, there isn't anything you can do to "fix" her, so why trying to diagnose her?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 March 2013):
Well, let us know how it works out and I promise I won't say "I told you so."
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2013):
 This girlfriend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/her-awful-childhood-has-led-her-to-a.html
She needs to get professional help. She has to WANT to be helped. You can't fix this for her.
The best thing you can do for her is to let her deal with her problems herself, I think. Sorry she's had a bad childhood and was the victim of several crimes such as rape and abuse, it's a dreadful situation but you do not have the tools to fix her.
Apply to schools to become a psychologist or psychiatrist and maybe you'll be in a position to help others one day. The sad truth with some of these major mental health situations is that the person who needs the help the most refuses to see that help is needed.
If I were you, I'd go to an al-anon or similar meeting for people who love alcoholics or drug addicts. It might give you a framework for coping.
Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, Thatoneguywhocares +, writes (5 March 2013):
Thatoneguywhocares is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk. I love this girl in not attempting to test her because I'm not happy, in genuinely concerned about her actions and her words. We have a blast together half the time not even doing anything but chilling somewhere talking. I know you can't judge somebody to be a sociopath or as its actually referred to today as AntiSocial Peronallity Disorder (ASPD)I'm confused because I'm so close to this person that if she did send off red flags I feel like I'd miss them because in so emotionally attached to this person. I do not want to put her through some long winded test to see if shes crazy or loves me because I can tell she has a kind heart, at least it feels that way. But if someone has ASPD it could be a hoaks. I know the main thing about ASPD is lack of empathy, guilt and remorse. This girl has had a really REALLY rough upbringing and I was searching some simple way to see if she had any of these three emotions. Don't judge me because you think I'm not happy or don't love her it has nothing to do with that, I care about her so much that I honesty want nothing more then to believe shes NOT a sociopath. I have been through ALOT with her in our short time together as a actual couple. I'm still here because I care but I also have myself to think about and her seeing a concealer won't help because shes seen them before but she won't open up because she doesn't trust them. I can't force her to get help and I'm certainly not trying to fix her I'm trying to support her. I made the story short because last time I made a story about her everyone's answers were "leave her" I want a actually answer not opinions on what I should do about the situation. If nobody has a ANSWER. To somehow see if someone feels guilty empathy or remoursfull then save your time typing and don't bother with a answer. Thanks.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 March 2013):
 Stop reading stuff on line or even in books. Reading and knowing potential symptoms are not the same as a doctor doing an evaluation.
I have a degree in psych and I'm not even qualified to determine if someone is a sociopath or not.
Mental health is NOTHING to play with. Besides ONE size does not fit all.
in addition, to TEST her involves deception and that's the mark of someone with illness too. so technically she could be here posting about how she's pretty sure her boyfriend is planning to deceive her and test her... we'd pretty much tell her to leave him.
IF you are not happy with how things are, then you should end it.... It's NOT up to you to fix her. OR even to determine if she can be fixed.
If you think she needs mental health help, then suggest she see a doctor for an evaluation.
My husband is an alcoholic. I know this. I also know I'm not equipped to help him quit drinking. I Know what needs to be done but it's not my place.
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A
male
reader, Thatoneguywhocares +, writes (5 March 2013):
Thatoneguywhocares is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBecause if its something other then her being a sociopath I know she could get help and if she's a guiltless none remorse having no empathy type of girl then I wana runnnnnnnnn
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (5 March 2013):
Dear OP,
Obviously, you don't have any real ground to believe your girlfriend is a sociopath and you lack the diagnostic skills you need in order to confirm your suspicion.
No one who really is serious about psychology can give you advice on how to diagnose a girl with sociopathy like this, over the internet. It's a very serious disorder that one cannot just find out through one simple test. Diagnostics is a science, not a hobby, so leave it to the professionals.
If you distrust her or don't get along with her, then don't be together. It's as simple as that. You don't need to diagnose her with any kind of disease or disorder to justify that you have a problem and find her behaviour strange or unacceptable.
You don't have a very high opinion of her (=spoiled brat, sociopath) and that's enough reason to break up.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 March 2013):
I don't think you're going to get an answer to your question here.
The real question is why are you trying to prove that your gf is crazy? If you are trying to help her, take her to a professional. Otherwise you shouldn't be with her if she's driving you nuts.
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A
male
reader, Thatoneguywhocares +, writes (5 March 2013):
Thatoneguywhocares is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk trust me I'm not mean to the cat it's just annoying. I didn't grab the cat and throw it like a football Jesus! I'm not trying to use her as a gunie pig I'm trying o figure out if there is a hope for change in her behavior or I need to get the hell out of this situation.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I read that sociopaths are quite often mean to small animals.
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