Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): He is married. He is ogling at you. He is a dog, creeper peeper undressing you with his eyes. Probably a player. Wants sex with you. I've been around those types of men that "stare" even with their girlfriend or wife beside them. Makes them look like a stalker and gives me the shivers. Stay away from the creep or get a different workout schedule if you can.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): no issue just wondering why he is doing it so much either though i am ignoring him. If someone was ignoring me i wouldnt bother with them. That's me
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 I'm with Tisha... I'm not sure what the issue is.
He doesn't want to look at others. clearly he likes to look at you.
if it bothers you say something or change your gym time.
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male
reader, Serpico +, writes (6 March 2013):
Are you really this bothered by someone "looking" at you? I suggest you focus more on your workout and less on who is checking you out and you'd probably be better off....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): Maybe he just wants me to say hi and maybe he will leave me alone.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): maybe you look like someone he used to know like a former coworker, boss, neighbor, friend of a friend, etc. and he isn't quite sure if you are or not and whether he should say hi or not in case it's not them! I have a bad memory for faces and names of people I don't know that well, so I often find myself staring at strangers wondering if I knew them from somewhere else and if so, if they recognize me too and would think me rude if I ignored them and didn't go over and say hi. But then what if it's not them then I would make a fool of myself if I went over? So I find myself unconsciously staring at them trying very hard to place their face and name or decide if it's really them or not. this guy could just be doing that too.and how do you know he is married?if it bothers you then just go to the gym at a different time from now or different day
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 March 2013):
 Ignore it. Obviously he finds you good looking and thinks it's like a compliment to stare at you.
I would just simply ignore him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): Still, maybe he's looking for a mistress and he's trying to figure out who maybe game for it.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2013):
 I expect he looks at other women as well as you.
Is this bothering you or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe is a very good looking guy and the announcement was for all members women and men. What I am saying their are other women look at them.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2013):
Either you are flattered or you are bothered by this.
If you are bothered by this, deal with it, I gave you several options.
If you are flattered by this, then you must be waiting to hear that you are the most attractive woman in the gym at the time he's there. Is that the answer you were hoping for here?
I'm not sure I see the problem here.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): "With this married guy I am flattered he finds me attractive however there are other attractive women there he should stare at them."
Maybe YOU think they are, but he may not find them attractive. And even if he does, he apparently finds you the most attractive.
If you really want him to stop, then it sounds to me like you have no choice but to tell him. Kindly let him know you're not interested. That's all you can really do. I know it's uncomfortable, because I had to confront one of my coworkers recently about the same issue.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2013):
You're flattered by being stared at by a creepy married man?
This guy has been warned off by the gym management?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk but there are other women at the gym.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): Maybe a mistress to spice up his boring married life...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe gym tells the member not to stare at other member because its rude and makes people uncomfortable, but do people listen no. With this married guy I am flattered he finds me attractive however there are other attractive women there he should stare at them.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 March 2013):
Maybe he likes the way you look?
If he's creeping you out, you have several approaches to get it to stop. One is to directly address him and tell him that you want him to stop staring at you. The second would be to go to the gym's management and tell them that he is bothering you by overtly staring at you and whatever else he's doing. That may wind up getting him banned from the gym, but then your problem is solved, no?
Another is to change up the days or times you go, if you aren't woman enough to deal with it head-on.
I go to a gym several times a week, I have made acquaintances and a few friends there and I would probably let them know what this creep was doing and I expect the gossipy grapevine would get back to him and he'd wind up being shamed. Obviously, this wouldn't work if I was being blatantly flirty or inappropriate with him or other people myself.
Good luck.
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