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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Best Friends that have turned into something else, without willingness to commit..
Q. Sorry this is somewhat lengthy, but I am in desperate need of good advice so I want you to know as much as possible. Thanks in advance!! My best friend and I have been basically dating for 7 months. As in we had sex regularly, went on dates, h...
A. 12 December 2012: Honestly, she sounds like a drama queen and is missing her posse. You have put far more meaning into this than she has and no amount of attempted emotional blackmail on your part is going to suddenly make her mature.
She wakes up in the morning and ... (read in full...)
Best Friends that have turned into something else, without willingness to commit..
Q. Sorry this is somewhat lengthy, but I am in desperate need of good advice so I want you to know as much as possible. Thanks in advance!! My best friend and I have been basically dating for 7 months. As in we had sex regularly, went on dates, h...
A. 12 December 2012: So the relationship is less than a year old and you've had a pregnancy and abortion to deal with.
Interesting choice of words. One man might say, "I got her pregnant." You said, "recently being unintentionally impregnated(by me)." What, did you not ... (read in full...)
Best Friends that have turned into something else, without willingness to commit..
Q. Sorry this is somewhat lengthy, but I am in desperate need of good advice so I want you to know as much as possible. Thanks in advance!! My best friend and I have been basically dating for 7 months. As in we had sex regularly, went on dates, h...
A. 12 December 2012: How long have you been best friends, by the way?... (read in full...)
Best Friends that have turned into something else, without willingness to commit..
Q. Sorry this is somewhat lengthy, but I am in desperate need of good advice so I want you to know as much as possible. Thanks in advance!! My best friend and I have been basically dating for 7 months. As in we had sex regularly, went on dates, h...
A. 12 December 2012: To "comfort one another?" Are you in some sort of sad situation?... (read in full...)
Best Friends that have turned into something else, without willingness to commit..
Q. Sorry this is somewhat lengthy, but I am in desperate need of good advice so I want you to know as much as possible. Thanks in advance!! My best friend and I have been basically dating for 7 months. As in we had sex regularly, went on dates, h...
A. 12 December 2012: You told her you would always be there no matter what. So you've basically trained her that you will be there as a 'friend'... She's trained you too... are you aware of how?
You're holding out hope that she will wake up and realize she and you shou... (read in full...)
My bf wants pics of me should I send them?
Q. Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...
A. 11 December 2012: If he's your age his parents have every right to go through his phone, especially if they are paying for it. ... (read in full...)
He says he's using porn to remind himself of me
Q. My ex boyfriend and i fell out over his porn use. He claimed he looked at women who look like me to recreate the joy he had from the night before, he was a virgin and claimed it left him buzzing. However he didn't say he often used to it to think ...
A. 11 December 2012: Why are you trying to figure out what he's thinking? You dumped him. This is all a big waste of time, to decipher his motives. I get the sense that no matter what he said, you've lost trust in him, so why spend so much time analyzing exactly how ... (read in full...)
My bf wants pics of me should I send them?
Q. Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...
A. 11 December 2012: Don't even take the pictures. It's a disaster waiting to happen. Sorry you are feeling nagged but it's really good to know you are reading the answers and taking the time to respond to the aunts here.
This is one thing you'll be able to look back... (read in full...)
Best Friends that have turned into something else, without willingness to commit..
Q. Sorry this is somewhat lengthy, but I am in desperate need of good advice so I want you to know as much as possible. Thanks in advance!! My best friend and I have been basically dating for 7 months. As in we had sex regularly, went on dates, h...
A. 11 December 2012: If she wanted to be your girlfriend, she'd be your girlfriend. Her mistake was entering into a sexual relationship with you which gave you the idea that you would be something more than friends.
She wants to keep her dating options open. You want... (read in full...)
Should I finish school or get pregnant with my 40+ boyfriend?
Q. Please advise. Like a retard I quit halfway through college several years ago and havent been back. Now I'm dating a man in his early 40s and I am in my mid 20s. He is amazing and we will get married but I must finish school. At same time I feel...
A. 11 December 2012: Why is this about HIS timing and not about yours? Are you really ready to be a parent if you are still using language such as "like a retard" or "if u include masters"?
Decide when YOU are ready to have a child and if the man in your life is a real... (read in full...)
Took DearCupid's advice and now I don't know what to do
Q. I posted a question on this site a few weeks ago, and I took the advice of the helpful aunts and wanted some help out of a situation I've caused for myself. http://www.dea...
A. 11 December 2012: To the friend who says that you should take her out somewhere: "She's seems like a nice girl. I'm not looking for a dating situation. I'm just flirting."
So now you know that you can attract a girl, your flirting skills are not in doubt.
"I'm ... (read in full...)
Should I allow my boyfriend to do something sexually that I'm not comfortable with?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year keeps asking me to let him cum on my face... We've done literally everything else and I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do. He just won't leave me alone about it. I think I would feel really disgusting and ...
A. 11 December 2012: keeps asking me to let him
I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do
He just won't leave me alone about it
He's so persistent and it's getting annoying
I always give in to him when I don't want to do anything but he does
------
Yo... (read in full...)
Should I allow my boyfriend to do something sexually that I'm not comfortable with?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year keeps asking me to let him cum on my face... We've done literally everything else and I feel he should be happy with all the stuff we do. He just won't leave me alone about it. I think I would feel really disgusting and ...
A. 10 December 2012: What should you do or say to make him feel empathy for you? Um, you shouldn't have to do anything. He should respect your wishes and boundaries in this case.
What should you do to make him understand? Tell him this: "Babe, I don't want to do this... (read in full...)
Is revenge a good idea?
Q. hii im a PG student... and i have ben tortured by my lecturer a lot.. she also encourages other lecturers to give less marks even though they give good marks for me... she never teaches well.. i dont attend her class fully... i still have attended ...
A. 10 December 2012: Re-read what So Very Confused wrote to your followup.
You've got a new teacher, everyone has a problem with her, that's going to be obvious to the supervisors of the teaching staff. If it is as you describe then you are not the only one who feel... (read in full...)
He doesn't see a future with me, but he wants to keep me in his life? For what?
Q. Why would a guy who has simply stated with clarity that he doesn't see a future with me because, I don't share his culture, race or language be so hell bend on me remaining "friends" with him? It's not like we were friends before---we have a brief ...
A. 10 December 2012: You've found a sexual predator, a manipulator, a selfish person. Cut contact and don't look back. He's doing his best to keep a sex source on tap by offering "friendship." It's self-serving and manipulative and you are not wrong for avoiding this at ... (read in full...)
The need to be responsible when responding to posts
Q. When the Aunts and Uncles provide an answer to peoples problems its sometimes hard to remember that the writers are often heartbroken. When you read the same situation arising repeatedly its easy to think 'here we go again'. Its easy to think th...
A. 10 December 2012: Thank you for this reminder! I know I sometimes roll my eyes when I see someone post a question that I have seen 100s of times.... and the answer seems so obvious to everyone except the person asking the question!... (read in full...)
My bf wants pics of me should I send them?
Q. Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...
A. 10 December 2012: Yes, technically, is IS bad if you show him and not send them. Save yourself a LOT of heartbreak and don't even go there. All he needs is 2 minutes alone with your phone and your images are out there in digital sharing land and will never be erased ... (read in full...)
Is revenge a good idea?
Q. hii im a PG student... and i have ben tortured by my lecturer a lot.. she also encourages other lecturers to give less marks even though they give good marks for me... she never teaches well.. i dont attend her class fully... i still have attended ...
A. 5 December 2012: If you don't show up for class and you don't do the work, if you sit in class and daydream childish dreams about revenge, then you will not get good marks in her class. How about transferring out of her class if you can't stand her? Or if you can't, ... (read in full...)
My sister expects us to spend the same amount of money on her boyfriend's Christmas present, that he has spent on us.
Q. I am looking for some advice on this seasonal problem I am having. My sister has a new boyfriend who is a bit flash, and the other day she came home and said that he has spent approx £40 each on Christmas presents for myself and my other younger ...
A. 5 December 2012: "How nice that your boyfriend has the resources to spend that much on us. As you well know, we don't, and the tradition for the past 4 years has been [as you described in your question]. So is there some reason you want to make us uncomfortable and ... (read in full...)
Any advice on ways other then oral sex or girl on top, to get my girlfriend to orgasm?
Q. I am in a loving an monogamous long-distance relationship. It's been going swimmingly even though we're both in college. When we do get to see each other (about 5 out of every 30 days) we generally have a lot of sex and its been amazing. The only ...
A. 28 November 2012: Why would she get bored of having orgasms? Do you?
Deep penetration, by that do you mean trying to hit her cervix or something? That's not very pleasurable for the vast majority of women. The more important thing for many women during penis in vagi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has lent an ex-girlfriend £200 of our joint money and she hasn't paid a penny back
Q. My boyfrind of just over 2 years has just lent an ex-girlfriend £200 of our joint money. This was 6 weeks ago now and she hasn't paid a penny back. I reluctantly agreed to this because my boyfrind tells me's a good man and she is now just a friend ...
A. 27 November 2012: Is there some reason you cannot tell him how upset and angry this makes you feel? "Honey, I feel really awful about this money we loaned to your ex. It upsets me because.... " then list your reasons.
"How can we fix this so we are not out this mone... (read in full...)
My wife has violent outbursts. Should I get out of the relationship?
Q. My wife and I have been married 5 years and have been trying to make it work for 4. She has put me in some tough positions, I have brought them up and feel no closure on them after the arguments that followed. During my bachelor party I didn't w...
A. 2 November 2012: Waez, you are in an abusive relationship and will need help in getting out safely. Please go to this website and find the local resources that will help you out of this situation: http://www.thehotline.org
Best wishes to you.... (read in full...)
My husband left me because he thinks I cheated, but I found texts from a man to my husband saying 'I love you' and suspicious receipts for restaurants.....what is going on?
Q. My marine husband of 4 years who by the way was abusive verbally and accused me of cheating when he got back from Iraq. was always paranoid. He said we had orders back home where i grew up. 1 day after closing he said he got orders changed to go to ...
A. 2 November 2012: Get a divorce attorney lined up, ASAP. You need to ensure your interests are protected.
I have a website and its forum site that may offer specific support for someone in your situation: http://www.straightspouse.org/home.php and http... (read in full...)
He is confusing me with his actions, what does this mean?
Q. Me and my ex split nearly 2 years ago. He had to move to another state hence the split. After the split i found out i was pregnant and had our baby. 4 months after this he got engaged to someone else. He was always in our babys life...
A. 28 October 2012: Does he pay child support?
The rest of the question, you are reading too much into his actions. His actions show:
He's willing to have unprotected sex
He doesn't care all that much about being in a truly committed relationship
He's with som... (read in full...)
Who do I believe? My friend? Or the guy?
Q. Sorry in advance, this is probably going to be long. I've been joking up with this guy since July. From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious and if either of us wanted it to end we would say it flat out. We got closer over the weeks ...
A. 28 October 2012: "From the beginning we said it wasn't going to be serious."
"We got closer over the weeks."
What I see is a guy who has managed to convince you that he likes you enough to keep you in the mix but doesn't like you enough to risk being linked t... (read in full...)
Should I tell my guy that I might be pregnant?
Q. I was with my last boyfriend stuart for 6 months. I have the contraceptive implant and when me and ever since me and stuart broke up we still sleep together. I have miscounted my last period as I bleed everyday and have for a few months. I am ...
A. 28 October 2012: See your doctor to find out a diagnosis. No one here can tell you what is wrong with you. Sorry! Be well, be safe, see the medical professional who can examine and diagnose you properly. Good luck!... (read in full...)
I have to have surgery and I'm afraid
Q. im really really really scared about my scoliosis surgery i have the feeling im going to die or something will go wrong, or i will be paralysed forever. what is the chance something will go wrong? is it as bad as i think it is? i don't like the i...
A. 23 October 2012: There are risks with any surgery but this is such a common one, they are really really small. Having said that, the daughter of a friend of mine just went through the same surgery. She is your age too. She did GREAT! It was scary to think about but ... (read in full...)
She gave me her number but then didn't reply to my text. Why?
Q. I have been talking to this girl at work. I asked for her number and she gave it to me. I sent her a text message today and never got a reply. What does that mean? How do i react to her at work, since she didn't reply my text message?...
A. 27 September 2012: Did you confirm with her that she has texting capability with that number? Maybe she gave you the landline number and expected you to call her. Try giving her a call and see what happens.
Occasionally, I don't receive texts people send to me, eith... (read in full...)
I saw a picture he had drawn for an ex and it hurt me, how do I feel more secure about the past?
Q. Me and my boyfriend use online art sites because we both love drawing and makings things and both of us have online galleries where we share our art with friends. I was looking through my boyfriends gallery and looked at a piece that was from 6 ...
A. 26 September 2012: He was what, 15, when he posted the artwork?
Seeing the drawing hurts you. If you didn't know the context of the drawing would it still hurt you?
Look at it as a piece of art, disconnected from him or anything to do with him.
Is there some r... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring my requests to return my things?
Q. Hi there. I had been dating a man for just over a year. We had spoken of getting married ETC. He suffers from depression therefore it was not uncommon for him to be distant sometimes. A few months ago he told me that he would like to leave things ...
A. 26 September 2012: My guess is that he's ignoring your requests because he doesn't want to deal with them, the emotional fall out is too difficult for him to handle.
Do you have any mutual friends? Have one of them come with you when you stop by and ask for your thin... (read in full...)
Should I get mad at my husband if he doesn't loan my parents money?
Q. My husband and i have a savings account but he puts in the money but its for our future home, my parents need to barrow money and will give it back in 3 months and i know we have the amount they are looking for, my dad asked my husband and my ...
A. 26 September 2012: If they can pay it back in a few months, why can't they simply do that basic transaction with their own bank?
... (read in full...)
Really heavy menstrual bleeding. Is this normal for my age?
Q. I'm fourteen, and I've had my period since I was 11. It's been on and off which I know is normal, but it's recently settled down, and this month I've had a really long, heavy period. It started on the 11th and hasn't stopped since. It started off ...
A. 25 September 2012: You've had a period for 2 weeks and today it was so heavy you went through 3 pads in just a few hours? I think it's time to tell your mother about this, it sounds abnormally heavy, honestly.
Tell her you think you need a doctor, okay?
I have an ... (read in full...)
Why does he get an iPad? It's not fair!
Q. Today I came home from school and found my little brother with a brand-new iPad. I am so freakin jealous of him! My parents said its only "because he needs a certain app for social skills." (he has aspergers so he needs help) I still don't ...
A. 25 September 2012: I guess you feel jealous because he gets stuff and attention that you don't? Let me ask you this, would you want to have Aspergers too, just to make things more even-steven in the family? That way, you could get what he gets, but you also would have ... (read in full...)
Should I run or is he just insecure from being divorced twice?
Q. I'm frustrated and have told my boyfriend this on many an occasion. He is smart but I sometimes feel he is trying to outsmart me and tries to make me feel it's just in my head that I think he has too many issues and is clingy. He insists I answer...
A. 25 September 2012: He "jokingly" threatens harm to your children? He's controlling and demands you be available to answer your phone 24/7 and "gets mad" if you don't?
RUN.
Tell you what, don't take my word (or the other aunts who will no doubt agree with me that thi... (read in full...)
We are excited about our future together, but I cant help feeling miserable because it wont be happening any time soon!
Q. I am in a great relationship with my boyfriend. We both have the same kind of aspirations and have talked about moving in together/getting married/having children and so on. Thing is, these similar aspirations make me impatient because we're no...
A. 25 September 2012: Just begin to watch yourself having those thoughts. Observe what happens and if there are any triggers.
When you catch yourself having those negative thoughts, stop, count to 10, say to yourself, "here I am, here I am." Sit, become aware of your... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend changed his relationship status from 'in a relationship' to 'single'. Is he cheating?
Q. I'm in long distance relationship with my boyfriend. He is Australian and I'm Indian. We both are sixteen years old. We met on facebook 2 months ago and he asked me for relationship after 1 month. I love him alot. Everything was going perfect ...
A. 25 September 2012: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-long-distance-boyfriend-asked-me-to-share.html may help the aunts guide you in this case.
Set your status to 'single' immediately, delete him as a friend on FB and block him. You are being scammed. The guy is a... (read in full...)
Am I wasting my time hoping he will change?
Q. I met this man almost five years ago. At the time I was 20 and in between relationships. We went on a couple dates and agreed to keep it "low key and simple". Then I met someone that I wanted a relationship with and cut it off with him. That r...
A. 25 September 2012: He doesn't want to be your perfect man. He wants to be his own definition of a perfect man. And he's doing just that. He's perfectly happy with the way things are and the way he is. He's set up his perfect life and is busily and happily living it. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell if I've had a miscarriage?
Q. so today i got my period well i think i was about 2 months late and didnt know if i was pregnant or not i took a at home pregnancy test and it came out negative but i still thought i was pregnant. so what if im having a miss carriage would i know? ...
A. 20 September 2012: You need to see a doctor. No one here can diagnose or offer medical advice to you. There's a symptom checker here: http://symptoms.webmd.com/default.htm#./introView
An "Am I Pregnant?" contact here: http... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 19 September 2012: There are secrets you keep because there's something so private that you just don't want to share.
Then there are secrets you keep because you've done something foolish or dangerous or mean.
Part of growing up is developing good judgment. Trust me... (read in full...)
Isn't it a bit extreme for my boyfriend to just cut certain people out of his life?
Q. This really weird interaction happened when I was out with my boyfriend. We were walking along holding hands. We saw a friend of his in the street, my boyfriend called out to him to say hi. Then they were chatting briefly and then his friend looked ...
A. 19 September 2012: No, I can't say that I know anyone like this. Does he announce his standards in some way?
It sounds a bit extreme to me.
What other issues have surfaced with him? How long have you been dating him? Is he a caring and compassionate man or is th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'll cheat if I go to Kent
Q. My boyfriend doesnt like the idea of me going to Kent because he thinks im going to cheat on him and not tell him because of my past relationships. i tell him everyday that i wont do anything to hurt him and i wont but he thinks im a whole ...
A. 19 September 2012: You're 16-17. How much are you drinking?... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife has forgotten what losing her virginity felt like?
Q. My wife lost her virginity to one man (had sex just once before me) and I have been fucking her three times a week for over twenty years. Has she forgotten about that first experience by now or will she always remember how it felt the first ti...
A. 19 September 2012: I think the OP chickened out and deleted his account.
If you've been 'fucking her" thousands of times and hoping that will erase a painful memory from her memory banks, I see one of two possible scenarios One is that your loving care for her has ... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend a good dermatologist in the Manchester area?
Q. I'd like some help and advice on my acne. I have had acne since I was 11 and I am now 17. I understand it is probably my teenage spots. I have tried every product and they just don't work, I have also tried cream and tablets prescribed by my doctor ...
A. 19 September 2012: I would suggest you explore your health care services websites: http://www.nhs.uk/Search/Pages/Results.aspx?___JSSniffer=true&q=manchester+dermatology (copy/paste that link as the '?' will interrupt the link.)
Here's another link: http://w... (read in full...)
He won't officially end it if that's what he wants? What to do? I feel stuck!
Q. Dear all, Please advise. My Bf of 18 months moved recently ( not too far away) and he has been seeing me less and less. We had an argument and he left for two weeks, then came back breifly and I had it out with him then when I called him the next ...
A. 18 September 2012: Ah, yes, no doubt he's doing a bit of easing his guilt by suggesting that you can continue being friends. If you must reply, I would suggest you simply say, "I'll let you know when I'm ready to be friends. For now, don't contact me at all, I'll call ... (read in full...)
I helped pay for 2 friend's lunches and they haven't paid me back. Are they mooches or an I gullible?
Q. I feel pretty dumb but hear me out. This classmate of mine and I were out to lunch on campus. She forgot her wallet so I insisted on buying her coffee and a soup from the salad bar. It wasn't that expensive but that's not the point. She seemed ...
A. 18 September 2012: I would simply stop trying to save people from themselves. Learn the art of silence. You can listen with compassion but it doesn't mean you need to open up your wallet to people who are perfectly capable of taking care of their own meal needs.
S... (read in full...)
Need a Older Man's Opinion
Q. I met a single man(in this 30's) last year from canada and we have been in contact for 1 year now. We only met once and had a great time and chemistry and everything(did not do anything with him at all, I'm more respectable). So, now he emails me ...
A. 18 September 2012: Maybe he learned that piece of dialogue from a porn flick?
I agree with Ciar, turning yourself into a name-caller doesn't strengthen your position.
Accept the apology, give your own for sinking to his level, and end the relationship, is my advic... (read in full...)
Why am I still single?
Q. I really need some help on this one. This torments me to no end and I can’t for the life of me figure this out. For some reason I get no interest from women. I’m 26 and I’ve still yet to have a romantic relationship. Women are either content ...
A. 18 September 2012: Confidence comes from past success. You can't have success until you experience failure. I think you are avoiding experiencing failure.
You keep saying "attract a woman." Do you actually ask them out on a date? Or do you chat with them hoping that... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: So why do you think your mother would overreact? Would it be because you are online chatting with strangers?
Did you ever hear about the girl who was misled by a fake account set up by the mother of one of her 'friends'? This may have happened befo... (read in full...)
I helped pay for 2 friend's lunches and they haven't paid me back. Are they mooches or an I gullible?
Q. I feel pretty dumb but hear me out. This classmate of mine and I were out to lunch on campus. She forgot her wallet so I insisted on buying her coffee and a soup from the salad bar. It wasn't that expensive but that's not the point. She seemed ...
A. 17 September 2012: It sounds like you are a people-pleaser. "I insisted on buying her coffee and a soup from the salad bar" and "I felt bad and offered him cash." So you ARE comfortable talking about money, just not in a way that would make you the one needing it.
S... (read in full...)
Why am I still single?
Q. I really need some help on this one. This torments me to no end and I can’t for the life of me figure this out. For some reason I get no interest from women. I’m 26 and I’ve still yet to have a romantic relationship. Women are either content ...
A. 17 September 2012: You have to go after them. You don't wait for them to meet you halfway. Rent "Crazy, Stupid, Love" for some onscreen pointers for picking up women. The tutorial Ryan Gosling's character gives to Steve Carrell's character is hilarious. And in many ... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: Talk to your parents about your dilemma and they will help you through this, it sounds like you are a bright girl with a lot of imagination and I'm sure they want the best for you. Help them help you by being honest with them, okay?... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: And if you read Aunty BimBim and Abella's advice, that's the best strategy to deal with it. Delete the account, spend time in real life and do not go back there for a while. You do leave footprints of all kinds when you go to sites and it's simply ... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: So what did your parents advise on this?
My guess is that you've withheld the information about your online account and the whole drama surrounding your 'roleplaying.'... (read in full...)
Can these online friends ever forgive me for making out I was someone else? I had good intentions but got out of my depth.
Q. well how do i start this. well im a girl and in this one chat room thing my friend(dont know her in real life) i had pretended i'm a boy and her friends and her think im a boy.(i decided to play a male role just because i wanted to see how it was ...
A. 17 September 2012: You're trying to do things to make people happy or you are justifying why you don't want to have to leave.
You lied to a lot of people, you pretended you were something you were not. Some have forgiven you. Some will not.
It's time to move on and s... (read in full...)
He won't officially end it if that's what he wants? What to do? I feel stuck!
Q. Dear all, Please advise. My Bf of 18 months moved recently ( not too far away) and he has been seeing me less and less. We had an argument and he left for two weeks, then came back breifly and I had it out with him then when I called him the next ...
A. 17 September 2012: You haven't messed up. You deserve a real answer and have simply asked for one.
Why do you think you need to put up with the hot/cold behavior without an explanation?... (read in full...)
He won't officially end it if that's what he wants? What to do? I feel stuck!
Q. Dear all, Please advise. My Bf of 18 months moved recently ( not too far away) and he has been seeing me less and less. We had an argument and he left for two weeks, then came back breifly and I had it out with him then when I called him the next ...
A. 16 September 2012: I had an LDR that wound up in a similar situation, I told him I needed an answer from him and would wait until he gave me one.
I then called a male friend for support and he told me that I was basically handing over all my power to the guy. He said... (read in full...)
My husband left me because he thinks I cheated, but I found texts from a man to my husband saying 'I love you' and suspicious receipts for restaurants.....what is going on?
Q. My marine husband of 4 years who by the way was abusive verbally and accused me of cheating when he got back from Iraq. was always paranoid. He said we had orders back home where i grew up. 1 day after closing he said he got orders changed to go to ...
A. 25 June 2012: What's going on is that you need to acknowledge that your marriage is essentially over. Get your ducks in a row NOW, as honeypie suggests. Go see a divorce lawyer ASAP and learn what steps you need to take to protect your child's financial future. ... (read in full...)
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