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... Send *ikeEa1 a private message | | | *ikeEa1's profile:I'm in my fifties and I've had 2 marriages. The last one ended in July 2010. I like to help people and I'm interested in relationship problems. I like to learn too from other peoples experiences. I've had plenty of girlfiends and I always want to treat people nicely. relationships need mutual goals. You help me and I'll help you. At the moment I'm single and looking. update august 2012 - got a nice girlfriend and see how it goes. |
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I'm wondering how or where a 47 year old women can find suitable men to date?
Q. Hi, I'm wondering how or where a 47 year old women can find suitable men to date? I've been alone for over 16 years - no dates, no sex, no prospects. When my children were younger, I used to go to the "weekend daddy" places -Chucky Cheese, ...
A. 10 February 2014: This is really a problem. I am a single man and I like being social and when I go out on social events there are nearly all women. I feel overwhelmed and don't get involved. I constantly wonder where are all the men? Some of the women on these ... (read in full...)
Flirting tips anyone?
Q. What are some helpful successful flirting tips for a shy girl without coming off as stupid, desperate, or anything else bad?... I have never I dated. I tend to say dumb thinks whenever around a guy I like. I've been asked by the wrong guys. I ne...
A. 10 February 2014: the best flirt is physical touch, not sexual just a lingering hand on the face, arm and sometimes a look. Don't do sex in a hurry as it's not necessary.... (read in full...)
Should I work it out with the father?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and we now have two children together. Our emotional situation has been constantly insecure. I learned early on he had been lying to me about a porn addiction and we tried hard to work through ...
A. 10 February 2014: your boyfriend doesn't have a porn addiction. he is a male with testosterone. I know a lot of women with a romance addiction which I struggle to cope with at times. The problem is the violence. This is not acceptable and is enough to walk away.But ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is still using porn, and it's affecting our sex life. How should I behave?
Q. Hello 2 Everyone! Two days ago I discovered my fiancee still uses porn. It was so disgusting and frustrating for me, still he lies. The problem is that is impossible for him to ejaculate when we have sex, even though is always horny. He says h...
A. 24 November 2013: I have used porn on a regular basis a lot for years and find I can come straight away with some girlfriends and not at all with others and various in betweens. I also had a serious blow to the testicles in a motorcycle accident 6 years ago. I'm no... (read in full...)
Can an affair with a married man ever end happily for the other woman?
Q. Hello everyone. Before I begin, I realize I am opening myself up to a firestorm of very harsh judgment, name calling and comments from Dear Cupid's advice givers and readers. Please do not judge me. We all walk different paths in life and make...
A. 19 September 2013: There are a lot of women in your situation. I can imagine being married and having sex with another woman but not getting involved with another woman if you know what I mean. It's just too confusing to men to be involved with two women. Women on the ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend believes a threesome will bring us closer but I've heard horror stories about them
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past year and recently he's asked me about having a threesome. I'm secure with myself and my sexuality. I'm also confident in our relationship. I've just heard alot of horror stories that follow a threesome ...
A. 12 September 2013: dump him cos he doesn't understand how relationships work... (read in full...)
Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results?
Q. Has anyone been in therapy and tell me how long it took before they saw any positive results? I suffer from severe depression. This particular episode (which has lasted nearly 4 years) has been really hard to shift. I have been seeing a therapi...
A. 5 September 2013: I'm sort of in your camp on this. My ex-wife and our daughter were in therapy a lot of the time.I saw very little progress and because I was paying for it all $400 a session at times, I wondered where it would all end. my view is that it is like ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't come through intercourse!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about nine months and for the most part I couldn't be happier - he's kind, caring, trustworthy, funny and smart, and I think he's gorgeous. But there's something missing: vaginal Iintercourse is rare and brief. ...
A. 17 August 2013: I have the same problem and my girlfriend is unhappy about it, me too if truth be known. I only got like this a few years ago and I'm definitely not gay. I had a motorcycle accident a few years ago and that might be an issue. I had a big wack to the ... (read in full...)
Stuck in an unhappy marriage. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I've been married for over 15 years. For the most part it has been a good relationship. I've always been an easy going guy and not a lot rattles me, but over the course of the years I've really felt like I've taken it on the c...
A. 31 July 2013: I've been there. You have one life. You are not responsible for anyone else. While you can carry your wife for some of the way it is up to her to survive under these circumstances. Counseling is not the answer although it may help. There are a lot ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend knew she had STD and still had unprotected sex with me. I found out from seeing her medication!
Q. I found out about a week ago that my live in GF has an STD. She did not tell me, I found out. I found medication that she's taking, that she never told me about. I did confront her. Naturally a fight ensued, and the house is tense now. My quest...
A. 9 July 2013: I have herpes and have been having unprotected sex with my girlfriend for a year. She has not caught it. In the beginning with went to a sexual health clinic to obtain guidance. of course you would abstain from sex during an outbreak and be a bit ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend knew she had STD and still had unprotected sex with me. I found out from seeing her medication!
Q. I found out about a week ago that my live in GF has an STD. She did not tell me, I found out. I found medication that she's taking, that she never told me about. I did confront her. Naturally a fight ensued, and the house is tense now. My quest...
A. 8 July 2013: it makes a difference what std it is. if she was not infectious when she had sex with you I would not be so hard on her. you should talk to her about it.... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but I am so bored, what can I do to spice up my relationship?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months and i know that's not exactly 10 years but i feel really bored. We barely go out because neither of us have that much money, our intimate time is dull and he gets all the pleasure (not selfishly, just to the ...
A. 20 May 2013: it sounds like you might have really wanted him because he was just out of reach and now you have him and he's not looking anywhere else its too easy. a lot of women want what they can't have. maybe you should suggest he has an affair.... (read in full...)
I don't want to be seen as a secretive liar, but I don't want to discuss the rape either
Q. Hii, wondering if you guys could give me some advice. Basically, about a year ago I was pretty brutally raped by a stranger, who said he was going to kill me when he finished. I really think he would have, because he had a knife, if the police ...
A. 17 April 2013: you seem like a very brave and sensible girl. you are going to have to tell him sometime if he is going to be the one you're with. now that there is some distance between you and the problem you have to consider ways of disclosing it in a minimalist ... (read in full...)
Husband cheating, left me. How do you go on after this?
Q. im soooo hurt. i dont know what to do with myself, or how to get over this betrayal. my husband of 15 years was caught red handed with a 23 year old. and now he has packed his stuff and told me he does not love me anymore.... i dont understa...
A. 16 April 2013: ouch, these things happen and that is life. we evolve to deal with it all. I'm sorry for you that it hit so hard. You might get back with him. He might realise what a mistake he made. But there's going to be a lot of hard work either way. good luck.... (read in full...)
In love with a married man but I cant help myself
Q. i am having an affair with a married guy but i didnt really ask him if he is married. i would say he is because he doesnt tell me where he lived and i cant contact him during night time, weekdays and holidays as well. i have falled in love with ...
A. 25 March 2013: I really get where you are. These things happen. But you have to get your sensible head on and move forward. If you can't have a relationship where you are both available then all is not good. When you get a long way into a relationship lots of ... (read in full...)
Should I make a move on my history teacher?
Q. I need help. I really have feelings for my history teacher. He gives me all the right signs showing that he likes me back but I don't know. I am 17 and in high school and he is 24. He smiles at me all the time and compliments me. I think of him all ...
A. 17 March 2013: the answer to this question is no no no no no no no ........ never... (read in full...)
The relationship almost seems too good to be true but I can't risk getting hurt again!
Q. Hi everyone I have been dating a man for a couple of months now. We had an instant connection which niether of said we'd ever felt before. We have the most wonderful time together. It almost seems too good to be true. I'm not sure but I think ...
A. 18 February 2013: a couple of months isn't very long and a couple of times a week isn't very much but it's a start. most guys are slower to move towards a relationship than the woman. don't get ahead of yourself and enjoy what you can. I hope it works out for you.... (read in full...)
Why do my online dating experiences never lead to an actual date?
Q. I've been using a dating site for awhile. Where I live there's really nowhere to go to meet men, unless it's a bar, which I'd rather not do, so it's the online dating. Anyway, every time I seem to find someone that seems interested, it only lasts ...
A. 14 January 2013: I found it best to organise a meeting pretty quick without too much online chatting cos it wears thin. once you meet the person you figure out pretty quickly whether you like them. just a coffee in a public place is the best.... (read in full...)
My husband is tired of me. How do I deal with the rejection?
Q. I'm having a very hard time dealing with rejection. I'm 30, separated after 6 yrs marriage about 4 months ago. Marriage had it's good times, but was generally not very happy and there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse. I stayed becaus...
A. 17 December 2012: its hard to make a relationship work and if it doesn't work that doesn't make you a failure. in a year or two you will be happier than you have been for years and maybe you will have found somebody else too. just concentrate on working through the ... (read in full...)
Ladies: questions about sex on the first date.
Q. I would like to know two quick things about women ************************************ 1) how often do women have sex on the first date, If you have had sex on the first date... 2) what does it take for you to have sex on the first date?...
A. 17 December 2012: you go to a house of ill repute and pay money. no problem. all you have to do is produce the cash. As far as the real world is concerned you have to satisfy her needs and desires before you can get your way. Usually the woman doesn't put out ... (read in full...)
What is your position on living together before marriage?
Q. Hello dear Aunts :) and uncles :) What is your position on living together before marriage? Before engagement? What do you think the pros and cons are to each scenario? Some say that while living together, the man gains everything, while the ...
A. 10 December 2012: I don't get it really. If a man and woman commit to a relationship then that's the way forward regardless of how many institutions get involved. If you and your man are on the same wavelength why does the church or the government have to get ... (read in full...)
So, what are your opinions on the self control of men?
Q. Hey everyone! I've been going out with my BF for nearly a year now. Our sex life has always been very good. We were both completely new to all things sexual before we met each other, but we've explored a lot together which has been nice. Th...
A. 6 December 2012: I'd be shocked if you were my girlfriend. Its not about self control. Its about an assumed level of intimacy. And if you're are backing off from the original arrangement then no wonder he is confused. why are you doing this. I understand women ... (read in full...)
What should be shared in a relationship and what should be private?
Q. What should be shared in a relationship after a year and 3 months? Is it wrong to want to see his facebook, cell phone etc? I have no problem showing mine! I feel like people with nothing to hide, hide nothing and all he says he wants is privacy! ...
A. 3 December 2012: this is a key relationship point because it is all about honesty. if I can't let my girlfriend see everything I do and say I understand that she can't trust me. but does she have to know everything? I think guys are more dodgy than women so she ... (read in full...)
My 16 year old son is in love with a woman who is 24 years older than him!
Q. My 16 year old son is in love with a woman 24 years older than hisself, he met her when he was in a Subway with friends, he's told me theyve been secretly dating for over a month now and that the relationships not based on sex but proper love. She's ...
A. 3 December 2012: I'm not a fan of cross generational relationships but I think this is out of your control. whether their relationship lasts or not is one issue but thats not your problem. how does it affect the rest of his life is the question. it may be ok. look ... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar?
Q. Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar? I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, and in my googling I have read many, many warnings from people who have dated bipolar people to steer clear of us. I have al...
A. 18 November 2012: i was married for 19 years to someone who was bipolar. I would never date someone who was bipolar again. when I think about it the problem was I never knew she was bipolar until 7 years into our marriage. the key is to be honest upfront. I know its ... (read in full...)
I don't understand the big deal about men watching porn.
Q. this is a genuine honest question that i can't seem to understand. I've seen many questions on here about girls who are unhappy that their boyfriends watch porn. Thing is, I don't ask my boyfriend if he does because I assume he does for his own ...
A. 15 November 2012: I'm a guy and I understand it. Your girl just wants you to look at her. I get that. I wouldn't want her slobbering over other guys either, not that i would be that bothered. its more competitive with women which is why they have all the makeup and ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with a violent husband for the sake of the children?
Q. My husband has violent outbursts about 3 -4 times a year. Something small will usually set him off, but everyone in the family knows to run for cover. I have three children (8,11,13) who have witnessed him exploding in a rage. The last time it ...
A. 12 November 2012: it's funny because my wife was exactly like that and our daughter was scared. I would just sneak off to bed as would our daughter and we could hear her swearing and carrying on. These things are not worth putting up with. I had the complication of ... (read in full...)
My bf and I have opposing views on money management, and he wants to get married. What should I do?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. We both 23 and our relationship is great. My parents like his personality, mature minded and responsible to me. Everyone can feel his love for me. Otherwise, he comes from a middle low class family and...
A. 9 November 2012: my ex and I split up after 19 years for exactly the same reasons as you are describing. she always wanted to spend big money on rubbishy things and i wanted to try to save and spend occasionally on a special treat. she was from a working class ... (read in full...)
Why can't I ever orgasm? I have to fake it every time, even though I want to orgasm.
Q. So, I don't know much about other women's experiences, but everyone knows that guys sometimes (out of nervousness or shyness etc) can't get it up, if you know what I mean. I know that women don't have 'ahem's' ...but can they get the same sort of ...
A. 26 October 2012: I think I know what you mean and i think most women have to learn how to orgasm. you have to teach yourself and then teach your partner. you have to show him what to do, show him how you do it yourself. mostly it involves a lot of nonsexual intimacy ... (read in full...)
Internet Online Dating and serious relationships - isn't it just truly a waste of time?
Q. Hi everyone, I am so disillusioned with internet dating. Over the past few years I have joined a few dating websites hoping that at some point I will meet a man, who I get along with, have similar interests/humour, share the same values in life,...
A. 26 October 2012: I have been doing internet dating for 2 years now. i have met a lot of people and only had sex with one of them. i have been looking for someone special. I have also been a member of a couple of social clubs but the internet dating seems better for ... (read in full...)
Is what I do a fetish? Or am I am exhibitionist? My wife says people stare at me in public when I do this
Q. Am I wierd, I dont like to wear underware sometimes and when I go camando in shorts my package sometimes is noticeable. My wife says people keep staring but I dont see them I think she is just worried my junk will spill out at the wrong time. I ...
A. 21 October 2012: we're all perverts mate. don't worry about it. lucky we've got women to keep us under control. try not to do anything that you wouldn't want to see other people doing.... (read in full...)
How can marriage be so special if people just move on and pretty much forget the past?
Q. OK, this is a little deep but I know some will understand where I'm coming from. My wife and I have been happily married for 14 years, but she said a couple things that have always stuck with me. She casually said one day " well if we hadn't married ...
A. 19 October 2012: that's what happens, we move on. some people get damaged by the experience and can't move on. some don't want to move on but most move on.... (read in full...)
I'm a mom of 3 and I'm unhappily married. I feel so low and trapped and weak
Q. Hi everyone, I am a mom of 3 and I am unhappily married. I want to move on with my life but my husband won't let me go. He is abusive physically and emotionally and I tried to leave him before but because of my lack of support and faith I let him ...
A. 17 October 2012: I agree with what the women on this post have said. it gets complicated with a whole family but the priority is to live your life the way you want. Your life belongs to you and you should control it as you don't have anything else. Make your life ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend got his roommate pregnant with twins. We have a child together. What should I do?
Q. Please help me I just found out about my boyfriend, who lives in another house, got his roommate pregnant 7 months ago. She now had twins but she's not out of the hospital yet. I found out about it today I have never liked her. the first time I...
A. 11 October 2012: I get the feeling that he is probably not being honest with you. You need to make him think you can cope without him. The real problem is he doesn't know which family to look after first. This is not a place you should be. There shouldn't be a ... (read in full...)
Abusive past and can't tolerate any porn. How can me and my partner move on?
Q. I have been in an on and off relationship with the father of my youngest son for 7 years. Things have been tumultuous from the beginning, us both being insecure and having other issues, mine being from an extremely abusive upbringing. My step father ...
A. 10 October 2012: it sounds like things have been tough. when you're a kid you don't expect all this stuff and you don't deserve it either. when you're an adult you have to taken it on board to some extent. I am not suggesting that you have to tolerate inappropriate ... (read in full...)
I fantasise about ugly old men! Is this normal?
Q. I'm a 31 year old female in a relationship with a man a couple of years younger than me. But, by far one of my most potent sexual fantasies involves far older men, usually 60+, having sex with me or other women in their 20s or 30s. Usually the ...
A. 10 October 2012: I'm an ugly old man, mmnn maybe not that ugly or old. still its nice to know someone loves us. I think its unfair of youwish to mention random sex. you didn't say that. fantasies are nothing more than that. unless you want them to be. I fantasize ... (read in full...)
Am I just suffering from the 'grass-is-greener' syndrome? I am so disappointed with myself for not being able to find a man that fits me.
Q. I have been in two long-term relationships for most of my adult life. In my first marriage, I was pretty much starved for conversation, as my husband wasn't much of a talker. When he got home at night I'd ask how his day went, he'd grunt without ...
A. 25 September 2012: I don't think you're suffering from the grass is greener syndrome. It is hard to understand the true nature of a person in a short time. you have focused too much on one issue and need to consider the bigger picture. most men like to talk and ... (read in full...)
Why hasn't real love come my way?
Q. I am looking for a committed relationship but I don't know how.. I am tired of the games,lies, cheating the whole nine yards. i mean I am getting older time is running thin, not that I'm older than dust, but I am 40 now and I think it's time to ...
A. 24 September 2012: you have to think about your attitude and how you are meeting people. there are a lot of unsuitable partners in the world. you have to find a way of just meeting people without expectations. social groups and clubs where you can just chat to many is ... (read in full...)
After one month of college I still don't have a boyfriend
Q. hi, I am a 22 year girl...doing post graduation.In my past life I get 3 relationships, but all broke. now in my new college I wanted to start new.....I want someone in my college to be my boyfreind. but here no body takes intrest in me, though I ...
A. 24 September 2012: I have had years between relationships. it is so good to learn about yourself when you are alone. I understand the emotional hardship but it really helps to spend some time alone. I understand your frustration but I think it is worth getting used to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend warms my heart and she's possibly the coolest girl ever, but there's this lingering "what if" about the other girl who I've had a crush on
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years. She is pretty amazing. We had a bit of a rocky start, but things have smoothed out and we have a lot of fun together now. My problem is that there is a girl I've known for many years, an old friend at...
A. 24 September 2012: we are all a bit like that. I have the greatest girlfriend in the world but the last one ended funny and I wonder about her. you have to figure out who you are in love with if anyone and take it from there. is it hard to tell if you're in love? If ... (read in full...)
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