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... Send *ncle PJ a private message | | | *ncle PJ's profile:Hi everyone. I've been helping friends and family throughout my life and have decided to do the same for you guys. Unless you count psychology A-level, I'm not 'officially' qualified to do this but I really enjoy helping people out. I'm a great listener and will listen to any problems you have, however trivial it may sound.
I will always try my hardest to give you an answer and help you. Living in the countryside allows me to have a really close network of friends and depend on each other to help each other out. I look forward to hearing your problems and I will always dedicate time to helping you out. |
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Think he used my coat to masturbate
Q. I recently baby sat for a 15 year old boy while his parents went out for the night. He was mainly up in his room. I came upstairs to see if he needed anything I poked my head around his door and noticed he was on his computer looking at porn. ...
A. 12 December 2016: I'm not going to condone what he did as at the end of the day he's defiled someone's property and that's wrong.
But you're making him out to be some sort of monster. I agree a coat is a bit far but a lot of teenage boys have masturbated over fem... (read in full...)
I don't like the idea of masturbating and have never had an orgasm - help!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now but I still haven't orgasmed during sex (at least I don't think I have...) He is my first boyfriend and before being with him I was a virgin. After speaking to most of my girlfriends, they all go ...
A. 5 January 2015: Firstly, don't ever do anything that you are uncomfortable doing just because someone asks you to do it, no matter how you feel about them. If they respected you in the way they should, they shouldn't pressure you in to doing something you're not ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says "don't get used to me doing things for you" and then does nice things. What am I supposed to do?
Q. Hey everyone, So I got into a tiff my boyfriend..earlier during the date he said 'don't get used to me doing things for you' and I don't know why he would say that when I don't make him do anything.. He never lets me pay when we go out infact w...
A. 24 September 2013: I've seen that this question has been answered solely by ladies so you haven't heard the male view on this. It seems that the majority of answers have jumped on the fact that he's paying for everything thinking he's just paying her off or just ... (read in full...)
Was this online guy playing me?
Q. Ok so here goes, i had met this gent of a guy on a dating site. And we exchanged a few emails and numbers. So for the first couple of days things were going really well, and we talked a lot about the future, what we were looking for in partners. And ...
A. 16 July 2013: Okay, I've read the other answers in response to your question and I think they're slightly out of joint. For the record, not all guys on dating sites are out to get you naked and are plain weird, I hope a previous statement regarding these sites ... (read in full...)
Was this online guy playing me?
Q. Ok so here goes, i had met this gent of a guy on a dating site. And we exchanged a few emails and numbers. So for the first couple of days things were going really well, and we talked a lot about the future, what we were looking for in partners. And ...
A. 16 July 2013: Okay, I've read the other answers in response to your question and I think they're slightly out of joint. For the record, not all guys on dating sites are out to get you naked and are plain weird, I hope a previous statement regarding these sites ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my girlfriend because she's overweight?
Q. Should i cheat on my GF? I know its wrong and everything, but i have been talking to this girl lately and i feel i have a connection with her, like its crazy how similar we are. Im not 100% sexually attracted to my current gf, she is over weight, ...
A. 18 June 2013: Dude? What is wrong with you? It's comments like that that give us men a bad name 'It's not my fault because I have penis' what even possesses you to think like that?
Just because you've managed to use a computer to write on a site like this doe... (read in full...)
Should I dye my hair blonde because b/f likes blondes? I am worried he might go for a blonde if I'm not one too!
Q. hey, i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for a little over a year (let call him r), we have fun and love each other so much, but one thing he does hurts me. basically we went out for a bit before and then we broke up because we we...
A. 17 June 2013: If your boyfriend will only like you if you're blonde then he's still too immature and stupid to be having a relationship with anyone, especially you.
You cannot let anyone control what you do or when you do it, anything you do it must be for your... (read in full...)
Should I cheat on my girlfriend because she's overweight?
Q. Should i cheat on my GF? I know its wrong and everything, but i have been talking to this girl lately and i feel i have a connection with her, like its crazy how similar we are. Im not 100% sexually attracted to my current gf, she is over weight, ...
A. 17 June 2013: Are you a moron? Do you realise how shallow you're being by even thinking of cheating on your girlfriend because she's overweight.
Forget about your penis for a second and the ego of maybe having someone else attracted to you which is always a... (read in full...)
How do I change my ways and become more social with my family?
Q. What do I do, I feel so confused depressed, guilty, sad. I hate this. My dad always criticizes everyone so I go upstairs and go on the laptop to avoid any arguments. Iv gotten so used to this that I subconsciously do it. It's made me become very ...
A. 30 March 2013: You're more than welcome. I'm glad it has made you feel better and I really hope things improve for you soon. If you ever need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to drop me a message, I'm more than happy to listen. Stay strong and keep smiling.... (read in full...)
How do I change my ways and become more social with my family?
Q. What do I do, I feel so confused depressed, guilty, sad. I hate this. My dad always criticizes everyone so I go upstairs and go on the laptop to avoid any arguments. Iv gotten so used to this that I subconsciously do it. It's made me become very ...
A. 30 March 2013: This sounds like a really sad story and it is one that you really should be having to go through. A parent should never swear at their child and insult them to that extent, no matter how upset they are with them.
I don't really understand how this... (read in full...)
Guys, do you compare gfs with porn actresses and think about them in sex?
Q. guys, be honest, do you compare your gf's body to those of the women you see in porn? and do you have mental images of the women you watch in porn when you're making love with your gf? thanks for any answers :)...
A. 24 February 2013: For most guys no this is not the case. Porn stars and girlfriends are incomparable and usually completely different ends of the spectrum.
The general thing for us guys watching porn is to relieve ourselves. We don't tend to care who it is on scree... (read in full...)
He said he'll start seeing me again if I'll do a threesome
Q. From the beginning he was already involved with this older lady. And there was one more other girl staying at his place for a week just to travel around. And there was me. So it was more of a friends with benefit thing. And I know it was immature or ...
A. 27 January 2013: I can't believe you're even wondering if this is love! Furthermore, I can't believe you are even considering it. So many alarm bells should have been ringing your head by now but it would seem that you're a little naive.
A guy has basicall... (read in full...)
I want a man who doesn't cheat or look at pornography. Does he exist?
Q. I want a man like this does this even exist? Basically i'm after a man who does not engage in any kind of cheating at all (glances at swimsuit pics mildly acceptable.) but no porn, no talking dirty to others, little female friends, no strip clubs. ...
A. 27 January 2013: You may take this as a 'typical guy' answer, which I can assure you I am not. There may well be certain guys out there whom you are seeking but it will be extremely rare unless they are strictly religious or blind then you'll find plenty of eligible ... (read in full...)
Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models?
Q. Does anyone else here feel small because they don't look as glamourous as pornstars or glamour models? I feel like I'm helpless, my ex made me feel like this. We were on about glamour modelling, he said something like do you think you could be one, ...
A. 18 December 2012: You would not look stupid if you tried to make an effort, believe me. If you were going to compare yourself to any girl to feel attractive and everything, do not do so with a porn star or glamour model.
There are huge differences between ordinary... (read in full...)
Just feeling lost and confused...
Q. My husband and I will be married 6 years really soon. This year has been emotionally tumultuous as we have struggled through walls of miscommunication in several areas of our relationship. We were the best of friends in college for a whole, so our ...
A. 18 December 2012: The reason for you not being able to get him off as easily as you used to isn't because you've got worse or you suddenly suck, it's because of the amount of porn usage.
When a guy masturbates often to porn, it ends up becoming the only way he c... (read in full...)
I feel bad about my sex appeal knowing mean watch much better on a porn movie. Am I second best in a guy's estimation if he watches porn?
Q. I know there are many questions about porn, but plese bear with me. So when men watch porn, do they watch it for the women's bodies? Especially girl on girl, or girls masturbating, or stripping, ie. porn that doesn't involve men at all (so it's not...
A. 11 December 2012: I thought I'd add a male viewpoint on this although it somewhat correlates with what has already been said. For me, and probably most guys, watching porn is a slight escapism with the obvious pleasuring aspect.
In reality, everyday life or howev... (read in full...)
She says she isnt ready...
Q. I was seeing this girl for a couple months. I knew she had just recently gotten out of a long term relationship. During the relationship, she got pregnant and eventually lost the baby. She has been out of this relationship for about 5 months before ...
A. 11 December 2012: It's not a great feeling not being able to have any control over this sort of thing, but unfortunately that's just the way it goes sometimes.
I'm glad the talk went well for you and continuing to support her and be there for her will be best thi... (read in full...)
Do I honor his original request for "no contact" and ignore the e-mail he just sent?
Q. Long story short, a really good friend of mine recently confessed his feelings for me. Things would not have worked between us (and I told him this), first off because I'm not attracted to him in that way and more importantly because he was, and I ...
A. 11 December 2012: I'd suggest that your friend and his fiancee may have had a falling out, which has led to this email coming out of the blue. But as I said, I obviously have no idea so can't pass any real valid judgement. I would definitely say you are right in... (read in full...)
She says she isnt ready...
Q. I was seeing this girl for a couple months. I knew she had just recently gotten out of a long term relationship. During the relationship, she got pregnant and eventually lost the baby. She has been out of this relationship for about 5 months before ...
A. 11 December 2012: Do not be pushy. She obviously isn't the most stable state of minds given the major upsets and everything in her recent life. She says she's not ready so you can't try to be pushy or it will drive her away. If you're going to have another talk, ju... (read in full...)
Who should I be upset with? The girl? My friend? Or myself?
Q. Who should I be upset with? The girl? My friend? Or myself? So we are all freshman in college. I met this girl and we both really liked each other. We have the same interests, are very social and serious students. She told me she really liked me ...
A. 11 December 2012: You shouldn't be upset with anyone. Unless your friend knew about you almost having a relationship with this girl. The fact of the matter is that when she told you she was ready to be with you, whether it would have worked out or not, you turned her ... (read in full...)
I am confused by his response! Does he still love me?
Q. I am having a dilemma right now. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 .5 years now, I love him and I believe he loves me too. We are both currently not working, and struggling financially. He is 24 years old, and I am 22. I just got offered a...
A. 8 December 2012: Your boyfriend is a very caring and trusting one. Deep down he is probably hoping to god that your friend doesn't try anything with you when you go and stay with him. But because he's a friend of yours, your boyfriend didn't want to create an ... (read in full...)
I just had a baby, walking around on eggshells because husband has panic attacks if I try to talk about our problems!
Q. Hi, Wanted to ask opinions about my relationship difficulties, as I am feeling a bit stuck right now... I have been married for 5 years and just had our first child, who is now only a few weeks old. Husband is a good, kind man and loving and su...
A. 6 December 2012: I think there's a reason why the counselling didn't help. By the sounds of it, there isn't anything physically wrong with your husband and although his actions aren't always how you'd hope them to be, he does clearly love you. His panic attacks se... (read in full...)
My ex and I are cheating on our new partners together, what should I do? Part of me wants to end it with both of them, part of me wants to get back with my ex!
Q. Before anyone says im a slag or idoit or whatever i know i am. Ive been having an affair with my ex behide our new partners backs. The thing is we never really broke up in the first place, we live in different areas of our city now but we would ...
A. 4 December 2012: You have to break up with your current boyfriend. You cannot keep leading him on and the longer this goes on behind his back, the more it'll crush him if/when it eventually comes out. If you break up with him now then you don't necessarily have... (read in full...)
How can I tell if he settled for me against his apparent "type"?
Q. My boyfriend looks at porn. This is fine. Although he tends to look at girls who are the seem like the exact opposite of me. They, for example, have tattoos, have edge, and are usually brunette. His favorite girl buddies also look this way.I have ...
A. 4 December 2012: Do not change your appearance for any reason unless it is something you want to do to make you feel happy, never do it for a guy.
His favourite girl buddies all look the same because they're his buddies and if you looked the same you would pr... (read in full...)
Can fingering lead to the loss of virginity?
Q. Can fingering (sex) leads to disvirgin, especially in a case of bleeding? ...
A. 3 December 2012: As Cerberus said, it depends on how you view your virginity. It you determine losing virginity as being penetrated for the first and defloration (breaking of the hymen) then yes that can be the case.
But if you determine losing virginity as havin... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I had a small argument and I haven't heard from him at all
Q. Yesterday afternoon we were on the phone and had a small argument. I wasnt aware of my tone and how I said it but he asked me where I was going (i was driving home from school) and I said "Where else would I go? I'm going home" and he got defensive ...
A. 3 December 2012: This does sound like someone who has to be in control and likes to have the 'power'. Which leaves you in a difficult position. You are going to have to make a decision, but I'd wait till after your finals and not worry about it until after them, ab... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I had a small argument and I haven't heard from him at all
Q. Yesterday afternoon we were on the phone and had a small argument. I wasnt aware of my tone and how I said it but he asked me where I was going (i was driving home from school) and I said "Where else would I go? I'm going home" and he got defensive ...
A. 3 December 2012: There probably is no harm in asking him to see if there's anything up with your boyfriend or anything. But as Cerberus said, there's a strong chance that the brother may tell your boyfriend about what you've asked.
But that probably won't ma... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I had a small argument and I haven't heard from him at all
Q. Yesterday afternoon we were on the phone and had a small argument. I wasnt aware of my tone and how I said it but he asked me where I was going (i was driving home from school) and I said "Where else would I go? I'm going home" and he got defensive ...
A. 2 December 2012: This seems like a very big exaggeration over something so trivial. And, regardless of your tone, I can't see what you have done wrong.
Is he a rather possessive boyfriend? If so then it may have been a phone call to check up on you, as if he was p... (read in full...)
How can I calm myself down and stop thinking about this? I couldn't stand his paranoia and name-calling!
Q. I recently split up with my boyfriend because we argued a lot. He was very paranoid and called me a slut a liar and a cheat practically everyday although he had no grounds for it, that's just the way he is. Well I checked out his facebook and a ...
A. 13 September 2012: The best thing to do is to tell yourself you're the better person, because you are. The fact that you've got yourself out of this hellish relationship shows your strength within yourself and now you need to be rid of him altogether. The fact that ... (read in full...)
Can cheating be justified?
Q. if someones love interest doesnt give enough time,love, emotional and mental support the care and need and also doesnt take part in sorting such differences by mutual talk then does it give the other partner to cheat on him/her, is it justified ...
A. 27 July 2012: Absolutely not. Cheating is never justified under any circumstance. For whatever reason anyone gives for doing it, it still hurts one or more people and that sort of heartache just isn't necessary. If someone is feeling the need the cheat, for w... (read in full...)
My manager and I have a crush on each other. What advice can you offer on dating, or not dating him?
Q. My manager and I have "secretly" liked one another for the past three months. We never did anything directly due to professionality but I'm sure both of us could tell. And considering he's extremely busy it probably wouldn't have worked out. ...
A. 26 July 2012: If he were still your manager at your store then I would have strongly advised not to consider dating him. Mixing business with pleasure is definitely not a good thing to do, also the phrase messing on you own doorstep is quite apt too, as it can ... (read in full...)
2 girls and I don't know which one to date
Q. ok im 19 and i've just startd talking to these 2 girls. they both live equal distance from me and both of them would like to try things with us like long distance. the first girl is about 18/19 and we get on well and she is really cool as w...
A. 2 July 2012: Six years may not be too big a difference in 'adult' relationships, but in this sort of relationship I wouldn't say it was advisable. I'm judging and I believe that you wouldn't force her into anything she wouldn't do etc etc, but if I was her ... (read in full...)
It's a lose/lose situation but I still love him!
Q. I am in so much agony over the recent break up with the guy I was seeing. I had to stand up for myself in how things were going with him and I dont regret it. Because I couldnt go on accepting certain behaviors. he drink alot sometimes and turns ...
A. 20 May 2012: Does he know that his drinking upsets you? If he doesn't then you need to explain this to him and if he cares about you enough he'll try to combat it or at least cut it down. If he does know this and he hasn't tried to cut it down then he obviousl... (read in full...)
How come I get hurt or burned in relationships?
Q. I've been so confused lately i have no idea what to do. My ex and i broke up a month ago and i recently found that he was going out with my best friend. A couple days ago they broke up and now he want's to rebuild our relationship by being friends....
A. 20 May 2012: There is nothing wrong with you so don't feel as though there is. At your age, it is very very rare that a relationship will last longer than a couple of years. It's not necessarily anything to do with the people, it's just that you may not be ... (read in full...)
Am I being played by letting him woo me all over again?
Q. Ok so after four months of being broken up my ex contacted me to tell me how mich he missed me and that he missed everything about me and has thought about me everyday since the split which was his decision. We were together for about a year i meet ...
A. 20 May 2012: You are doing the right thing by letting him make all the moves to show that he is genuinely interested. Also taking it slow is very key, do not, under any circumstances, do anything physical with him until you are sure that he is in this for you ... (read in full...)
I'm starting to repeat an old mistake for the third time!
Q. I'm doing it again, i can't stop myself but it always happens subconsciously, it's the 3rd time now and I won't have any friends, i'm ruining my life doing it unless I stop! Basically in junior school when i left i didn't keep in contact with any...
A. 20 May 2012: I think the reason why you may be doing this is because you have a defence mechanism that prevents you from missing someone and getting upset by that. Basically, to stop yourself from missing your friends you just avoid contacting them so the frie... (read in full...)
Why did this girl say she would never go out with me? Is it because I'm ugly?
Q. Today at lunch I was hanging out with my two friends, their girlfriends, and their girlfriend's friends. Well my friend Alex asked this girl something that I overheard, it was either "Would you go out with josh?" or "would you **** josh?" and she ...
A. 11 May 2012: You're not ugly and you shouldn't let it bother you that one girl said she wouldn't. There will be plenty of girls that say no, why? Because they're not the right type of girl for you.
There will also be plenty of girls that will say yes, because ... (read in full...)
2 weeks into dating him I thought I was in love, but the feelings have faded! What should I do?
Q. I first started dating this guy a month ago. Before we went out, I really liked him and was so happy when he asked me out. 2 weeks on and I suddenly believed we were in love. However last week the feelings started to fade a little and weren't so ...
A. 17 April 2012: If you feel that you're not feeling for him any more then you should end it. It isn't fair on you or him to continue a relationship that is perceived to be going anywhere.
But if you feel that there is something worth fighting for then give it ... (read in full...)
Was my reason for ending the relationship a valid one?
Q. This is really bothering me because after many years of searching for true love it finally comes, but only to have a slit hold back. Now d story goes this way; i met this guy whom i fall in love with and i know he also love me as i do. One day he w...
A. 17 April 2012: Your reason would be very valid if he talked about having a relationship with them while you two were together. If this is the case then yeah it was a good reason to end the relationship because it shows he is interested in cheating.
If this was... (read in full...)
Who is right, me or my wife? And what advice do we give our friends?
Q. I searched the internet for advice sites, and I ended up here. We (my wife and I) have a question. We have some friends who are a little younger than us (mid 20's). They are engaged to be married. The Guy has an apartment, and the Girl moved back ...
A. 10 April 2012: First and foremost, whatever happens between them or on here should not come between you and your wife. You may disagree on this but it shouldn't your strong relationship. As for this, I think your wife may be right. If the girlfriend wants... (read in full...)
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