What would you consider early warning signs of a controlling man?
Q. Hi, What would you consider early warning signs if a controlling man? My boyfriend of 10 months as shown a few signs but I'm not sure if I'm over thinking. He doesn't like me wearing make up, accused me of wearing clear tights so other people wou...
A. 5 November 2012: I would say these are all big warning signs of a controlling man. He's putting you down, wearing away your self-esteem, trying to control what you wear. You're already at the stage where you're doubting yourself, questioning your own judgement and ... (read in full...)
We're 9 years apart in age. Is that too much?
Q. Hi, Hi recently met a guy a chatting app. Because the app tells you how near the person you're chatting to are, I know that the guy doesn't live too far away from me. The guy is 27 and I'm currently 18 going on 19 in March. I wasn't original...
A. 4 November 2012: Usually I'd agree and say age is just a number, but as this guy has been very persistent and when you've only met him through chat.....you have to wonder why? He doesn't know you and it does come across to me that he is looking for sex. Could be he ... (read in full...)
Fiance and I had fight, she got nosebleed people thought I beat her and I wound up in jail!
Q. Hello Well how do I start this Basically long story short me and my fiancé got into a fight for the first time a big fight. Before we would just yell or cry it out and make up but it came so bad that bystanders thought it was me beating her but ...
A. 4 March 2012: Why wouldn't your girlfriend just go to the judge and explained that she coincidentally got a nose bleed just as you were arguing? Why didn't she explain it right away to the police?
Something about your story doesn't add up. Requesting a way to... (read in full...)
If your partner had chronic health problems, how would it affect your feelings for them? Scared for the future...
Q. I need some emotional support... It's a health issue. I am 52 years old with the back of a 72 year old woman. I found out yesterday that I have 3 compressed discs in my spine and two bulging discs (different from the compressed one...
A. 3 March 2012: Two people close to me are in a relationship where one of them has MS. So far he's completely paralysed from the waist down. They cope by dealing with it as it comes. They don't dwell on the negative and what might happen or what the future holds. ... (read in full...)
He's confused, I'm confused, what's going on?
Q. I am 47 and my boyfriend of five years is 60. We had a wonderful relationship and I know he loves me very much. He recenlty started pulling back without explanation. He then told me he didn't think he cared as much as he use to. We broke up and over ...
A. 19 February 2012: Well did he know her before you broke up? I would guess he did, even if he wasn't 'seeing' her. He claims he doesn't love her, so why is he with her? Answer: sex/fling.
It might be true that he doesn't love her, so he wants you to wait around f... (read in full...)
do I really need to pretend to be incompetent to make a guy stick around?
Q. I am a 26 year old single mother of two. I work a full time job, and am a full time mom. I live on my own with my kids, their dad lives over 1000 miles away. I pay all my own bills, etc... In other words, I'm completely independent. My kids dad and ...
A. 14 February 2012: This is just one guy, it's not like it's happened repeatedly for exactly the same reasons. I know break-ups are tough but you have to keep this in perspective. He left probably because he has a fear of commitment or (and I know you won't want to ... (read in full...)
I never want to talk to my father again
Q. Hello, I need help very soon please xx. Ok before I get into this problem you need a back story. Ok my mom and dad split when I was two so I'm used to the two home lifestyle. I have a stepdad I had a stepmom. Her. The stepmom is the issue. I was a...
A. 13 February 2012: Your situation sounds a bit like mine used to. What I realised when I was a bit older was that my dad, despite his age was extremely selfish, immature and insecure. It was like he had never grown up past his teens.
At the end of the day sometime... (read in full...)
Am I being scammed?
Q. I need some advice or guidance with this problem.. I will explain the situation and why I feel worried now I met a Turkish man on Facebook (he is 37 and I am 35)and we have been talking for about 1 year 2 months. The conversations is...
A. 13 February 2012: I think you are being scammed.
You're right that not many men (or women these days) are interested in embroidery. Does it seem like he's interested in whatever you mention? Remember online that most people can seem knowledgable about most things w... (read in full...)
B/f left me on a dark street by myself and he knows how terrified I am of this kind of situation!
Q. Just a quick question! What would you do if your boyriend left you in the dark on the street by your self? Ill give you a bit more detail, i', having doubts if my boyfriend acctually does love me, he says he does so much and i acctually started to ...
A. 7 February 2012: Yes this is a big deal. Leave him.
Quite frankly if you just had a fear of the dark THEN I might have said, he didn't realise how scared you would be or think it through very well etc.
However if he can't understand and is so thoughtless ... (read in full...)
My male partner wants to dress as a woman. Can this result in a happy future for us, as a couple, considering his preference?
Q. I feel so confused at the moment and i really do not want to make a mistake, but i just dont have the answers myself nor do i know what the best thing is to do. I will try and make it as brief as possible as there could be lots i could say. Ba...
A. 7 February 2012: Ok well in that case, first you need to ask yourself why this has bothered you so much for two years. Is it because you're worried about the opinions of other people? Is it because he's more feminine in general than most men? Are you still ... (read in full...)
My male partner wants to dress as a woman. Can this result in a happy future for us, as a couple, considering his preference?
Q. I feel so confused at the moment and i really do not want to make a mistake, but i just dont have the answers myself nor do i know what the best thing is to do. I will try and make it as brief as possible as there could be lots i could say. Ba...
A. 6 February 2012: Basically from reading this I didn't get the impression at all that you really cared for him. You mention wanting to get independence, a house for yourself, maybe make some profit, have children and find a 'perfect' man. It seems you have a very ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want sex any more. Can any one suggest what things need fixing to improve this situation?
Q. My wife and I have been married 15 years. We have a miserable sex life and have for a long time. It started very early in our relationship where within a year we went from: "I have never been so loud during sex. Can we do it again?" to "Do...
A. 4 February 2012: If it wasn't for the fact that she was sexually abused then I would have suggested you leave her. I agree with other people here that you shouldn't be made to suffer for her past, something which you had no part in.
But seeing as she is prob... (read in full...)
Would it be safe to have oral sex after my boyfriend's cold sore is gone?
Q. My boyfriend has a cold sore on his lip and it just made me wonder if we have oral sex long after it's gone (we've not had it yet and aren't planning it yet either) and we have no STI's, would it still be safe to have oral sex without forms of ...
A. 3 February 2012: Has your boyfriend had cold sores before or is this his first one? Anyone who has ever had a cold sore has oral herpes but if this is the first time it's happened it could be something else. I'd still get it checked though.
I can't tell whether ... (read in full...)
Would it be safe to have oral sex after my boyfriend's cold sore is gone?
Q. My boyfriend has a cold sore on his lip and it just made me wonder if we have oral sex long after it's gone (we've not had it yet and aren't planning it yet either) and we have no STI's, would it still be safe to have oral sex without forms of ...
A. 3 February 2012: You can still get herpes from him via oral sex long after the cold sore is gone. You can get it from kissing him too (with or without the cold sore).
You probably already have the herpes virus that causes cold sores (it's a different virus th... (read in full...)
I'm sick of being bullied, I'm sick of no understanding, I'm just sick of it!
Q. Im sick of feeling alone and depressed all the time, i have moments when im really happy then my mood can suddenly change i try to tell my mum and dad but they never listen they are like 'oh sure course theres always something wrong with you' etc ...
A. 15 January 2012: Well first I suggest you do is wait until you're calm and have a good think about whether or not your life is that bad compared to other people's, such as your friends. When I was a teenager I went through a difficult time too but looking back it ... (read in full...)
I want to become a surgeon, will this be possible with my qualifications?
Q. Hi all! Ok so my Question isn't really about relationship/ life related but I quite like the advice given on here anyway. So I'm 23 years old and just recently moved back home to the UK after living abroad for 7 years. After much debating an...
A. 4 January 2012: I'm not 100% sure but I'd guess first you would need to get at least 3 A levels in the sciences (I think you have to have biology and chemistry) and/or maths. and get As/Bs. If you think you could cope then you can do fast track A levels which only ... (read in full...)
Has my girlfriend deceived me or does the sex with her ex-boyfriend not count?
Q. I am not sure where to start but I do want to document how I feel and explain what has been happening in my relationship. Without going in to too much background detail I want to start with the facts. At the end of March this year my partner walked ...
A. 2 January 2012: Well this is only guesswork, you'll have to ask her for the actual reason. But some possibilities are: she wanted to try again and/or just sleep with her ex, but wanted to keep you around in case it didn't work out (which it didn't), so didn't break ... (read in full...)
Even though we took all necessary precautions, I'm not feeling well, could I be pregnant?
Q. I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend (21st Dec) ... it was an a amazing experience as we had waited for ages to show our love and commitment to each other. We of course took the necessary precautions before we made love to each other, w...
A. 2 January 2012: It's very, very unlikely you are pregnant (virtually impossible seeing as the condom didn't break).
I'm on Cerazette too and had all the symptoms you described in your post. I was on the verge of going to the doctor about them but after about ne... (read in full...)
Has my girlfriend deceived me or does the sex with her ex-boyfriend not count?
Q. I am not sure where to start but I do want to document how I feel and explain what has been happening in my relationship. Without going in to too much background detail I want to start with the facts. At the end of March this year my partner walked ...
A. 31 December 2011: Yeah I think you are already depressed and not really facing up to the real issues or feelings you have and are just burying your head in the sand. Feeling withdrawn and emotionless is a common symptom. Keep in mind it will all come out sooner or ... (read in full...)
Attracted to damaged/broken girls
Q. Ok, at 20 I know i'm young for this whole sort of thing. But i realise i seem to either attract or am automatically attracted to somewhat broken or troubled girls. At first glance. You would not be able to tell (heck, my brain can't tell, if it ...
A. 15 September 2011: After reading through your post I'd honestly say stop helping and move on.
Usually I don't think the distant past should have much influence on a relationship. However the most worrying thing about your post is that it doesn't sound like her wild... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets angry with me for being miserable with him
Q. It is a day before the month we celebrate together with my boy friend for being almost a year and I feel less in love with him and confused. Lately whenever I get sad that something is bothering me he goes from comforting me one minute to total ...
A. 14 September 2011: I would move on right now. You're right that this behaviour is not normal in a relationship and it's very possible that one day he will turn his anger on you. Instead of something being broken he'll punch or kick you.
He sounds manipula... (read in full...)
Am I setting my sights too high?
Q. So I have dated many men (especially in my 20's) but now in my 30's I am a bit more picky. My must is the guy has to be taller than me, less than 300 lbs, have a stable job, wants kids and finished a degree....any degree (I just need to know he made ...
A. 14 September 2011: Well if that's the height and weight you genuinely find attractive in a man then that's definitely not setting your sights too high, a relationship won't last unless there is attraction. If it's because you're worried what other people would think ... (read in full...)
Anyone else in a relationship with an eccentric personality like this?
Q. My boyfriend of nearly one year has an unusual personality. He's eccentric, strong, brilliant, has some OCD/control behaviors, lacks some social graces. I wonder if he might have a little Aspergers (and yes, I'm educated enough to make that ...
A. 7 September 2011: It's possible that your bf could have mild aspergers, however it doesn't sound like it's affecting your relationship too greatly. Every relationship with or without aspergers will have it's up & downs. There are some people out there who have no ... (read in full...)
My alarm bells are ringing. Do my suspicions about this guy seem on target?
Q. There was a guy who I had in a couple of my university classes with me. We would talk in class and during breaks and stuff, and he seemed interested in me. So one day he asked if we could do something together. Mind you, he never gave me his number ...
A. 5 September 2011: Not giving him your number or Facebook is not overly suspicious. I try not to give out those details either (if possible) until I know the person a little better - there are some strange people out there you know.
If he was dating someone while al... (read in full...)
She will not cook, will not clean. I do it all, so I ask my self the same question every night, "is it worth all of this?
Q. I dont honestly have the slightest clue on how to piece all of this together but here we go.. Just a little bit of information about my self before we start, i seem to think way too much into things, but i never actually express the way i feel v...
A. 5 September 2011: Verbal conflicts aren't pleasant but sometimes necessary. The truth is you are still letting people walk all over you and they will continue to do so until you actually stand up for yourself.
You should mention what's on your mind, especial... (read in full...)
What makes you keep someone in the FRIENDS ZONE?
Q. More of a vent than a question, but input is appreciated. I am a 42 yo, single parent who has taken a hiatus from dating for awhile. I seem to keep attracting men that just do NOT have their lives together or much to offer other than sex. ...
A. 5 August 2011: I don't think you could have handled it much differently really. The only thing I'd suggest (from personal experience) is if you consciously try to show you're not interested in anything more than friendship by actions and dropping subtle hints and ... (read in full...)
Someone help! I don't want to make the wrong decision on my future!
Q. I know this is relationship advice, but this website gives me the best, most insightful advice!! I don't know what to do, i have a vitally important life decision to make. And i have to make it as my future starts in a month!! Ever since i was 10 ...
A. 5 August 2011: Also just to add that having a years work experience in America will really stand out to universities that you apply to and on your CV.... (read in full...)
Someone help! I don't want to make the wrong decision on my future!
Q. I know this is relationship advice, but this website gives me the best, most insightful advice!! I don't know what to do, i have a vitally important life decision to make. And i have to make it as my future starts in a month!! Ever since i was 10 ...
A. 5 August 2011: Well I agree with your friends and family that going to America to work in the tv/film industry would be a once in a lifetime experience, so if I were you I'd go for it. As for uni, assuming you're planning on coming back after the year is up -... (read in full...)
Where is she going with this?
Q. THE GOOD: Okay so me and this girl I'm into have hung out twice, alone. The first time was coincidental but we ended up spending 6 hours together. Then, I asked her if she wanted to do something together again and she said yes, so I took her out a...
A. 26 July 2011: Meeting up twice isn't all that much really. Maybe she's still considering whether she wants a relationship or not and is trying to get to know you.
As for not dressing up, it could be that she's not overly girly and that's what she feels comf... (read in full...)
Struggling to trust him and I don't know if this relationship can be saved......
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for one year and 3 months. Recently I had to move back to my home province to get my life sorted out. Our whole plan was that we both get our lives sorted out and go back to school. After we're done school ...
A. 26 July 2011: I think the root of the problem here is that both of you are struggling with the long distance relationship.
The issue with Facebook is definitely odd behaviour and I can see why you would be bothered about it but you can't really be sure abo... (read in full...)
Please help, I don't want to get hurt but I really like him!
Q. so i have been friends with this guy for a few months he is a really extremely shy guy he knows i like him alot last week i ended up kissing him it was nothing special just our lips pressed together for a few seconds. After he dropped me off at home ...
A. 24 July 2011: I would guess that at the moment, as he said himself, he's not sure what he wants - a committed relationship or to stay single.
Overall I get the impression that all the 'I'm not the initiator' may to an extent be true (he is probably shy) but... (read in full...)
My breasts are 2 different sizes and I'm worried about being intimate
Q. As we all know, most women have one breast which is ever so slightly larger than the other. No natural woman is perfectly symmetrical. A small percentage of us women, however, develop rather assymetrical and the difference is very noticable. ...
A. 21 July 2011: I agree that you should tell him about this, so he knows just how uncomfortable you are with it. Hopefully when you see he's not going to leave you over it and is not bothered by it (like the first guy who shrugged it off) then maybe it'll help you ... (read in full...)
Is he not interested? Or is he waiting for me?
Q. Ok I need help. So I signed up for this dating site as a joke but one guy messaged me and i thought... why not, hes cute... seems sweet so why not give it a shot. We met up and we seemed to hit it off... he asked me out for a second date which we ...
A. 21 July 2011: Well if you really like this guy sending one text asking how he is and if he wants to meet up or something along those lines should be ok. He's not going to think you're desperate or stalking him from just one text. See how he replys to it, if he ... (read in full...)
Time is not on my side
Q. My fiancée and I have been together for almost 2 1/2 years and have seen one another almost every day since the beginning, total commitment to one another. She’s in her late 40’s I’m in my early 50’s. She’s been married twice before and me once. ...
A. 21 July 2011: I'm going to be honest that this doesn't look good. I think anyone would resent being abstinent for 9 months, it's not unreasonable and definitely does not show you're only in it for the sex. Your partner should really be aware of how much she is ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend admitted he's 25,000 in debt and now I'm freaking out!
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years and I have been talking about moving in together in the next few months. We've already put deposits down on some bigger furniture items. We both work full time and last year we started a business together which has been s...
A. 21 July 2011: Well do you know when the majority of this debt was built up? Was it still building until recently or did it happen a few years ago and since then he's been trying to pay it off? If it was years ago then maybe cut him some slack seeing as he can pay ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I have met a lovely new guy. But my ex still has a place in my heart, despite his cheating
Q. I'm in love with my ex boyfriend who wants us to get back together. He cheated on me with Hookers but says he is still in love with me. I have met a new guy and he is lovely but my heart still longs for my ex. Can I truely trust my ex. again...
A. 19 July 2011: In all honesty I'd say don't go back to your ex. He may say he loves you and I bet he said that in the relationship too but the fact is he cheated on you and if he truly loved and respected you back then he wouldn't of done it. So what makes you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is making me feel like a prisoner.....what can I do?
Q. My boyfriend is too controlling.i got a new job as a cabin crew but my boyfriend want me to be pregnant and leave the job if not he will leave me alone.what shall i do?... I am 29, i am living with my boyfrend for 2 years he is 43 and he is separ...
A. 18 July 2011: I have to agree with the other aunts who say leave him. I seriously doubt he actually wants this baby, why has he suddenly changed his mind after only a year? It sounds like he's more anxious about the fact you have a job and therefore some ... (read in full...)
He doesn't tell me his plans. Should I be worried?
Q. I have been in a relationship for five years now and everytime I have plans without him like going to a friends house for dinner or meeting up with my family I let him know. He on the other hand doesn't do that and the only way I find out that he is ...
A. 18 July 2011: Well what is he like in other areas of his life, is he generally a forgetful person or maybe does things on the spur of the moment? Is this a recent change in behaviour for him?
I wouldn't worry too much unless he seems deliberately evasive ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and still trying to hold onto my dreams!
Q. Hi I'm a 27 year old male and I'm still a virgin.The thing that bothers me the most isn't the lack of sex but the fact I still haven't felt what is like to love and be loved.To have a person that really cares about me and me feeling the same for ...
A. 16 July 2011: You're just going to have to put yourself out there, that's really what it boils down too. You are sensitive but it seems like your lack of relationships is the root of your anxiety/depression so continuing to stay isolated and work on that is not a ... (read in full...)
Why is he being like that? Is it my fault?
Q. Basically I don't know what's wrong with my friend. We used to be so close but things have changed. I don't get what's wrong with him. Last summer it was the first time he started flirting with me and I told him not to. So he avoided me for ...
A. 15 July 2011: He obviously really likes you, keeps hoping you'll somehow change your mind and feel the same way about him. So it hurts him when he is rejected again so he becomes cold and avoids you to get over it and not show he's hurt. All the behaviours you ... (read in full...)
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