| Latest articles: Love Shouldn’t Hurt: Signs of Abusive Behaviour
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21 April 2009: Covered in this article: Ask yourself | What are the signs of an abuser? | What is abuse? | Now what? | Escape plan | Shelters | Summary ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +++INTRODUCTIO...
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How can I be single and travel safely in another country?
Q. I really would love some advice about a real dilemna I'm facing. What do you do if you're single, and you're a woman and you have made up your mind to travel to another country? (In my case, Spain) I've made up my mind to go, but I don't have...
A. 21 April 2009: Hi SirenaBlusera!
Are you still having butterflies in your stomach about traveling to Spain, to study and probably to live there?
As a rule of thumb for travelling anywhere in this world on your own, is always to be sensible. You may even find a f... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I have herpes?
Q. I have been dating a man a very short time and I want to tell him I am HSV2 (herpes) positive. I just do not know how. Please help....
A. 21 April 2009: Have a look at these sites. You can compose your explanation to your b/f using bits of information from the following articles:
Herpes Simplex: Herpes Type 1 and 2 http://www.webmd.com/genital-herpes/pain-management-herpes
The Truth about HS... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant, help!
Q. I am 14 pregnant to a 17 year old it was a drunken mistake, i am 1 month gone and not showing yet only small bump no one knows, i have already got morning sickness (i dont know why they call it this i'm sick throughout the day) i cant get rid of i...
A. 21 April 2009: Yes, of course. I understand. It does not have to be now, and it does not have to have your name on it (or you can use a pseudoname). There are legal and psychological issues that have to be considered of course. That is why I mentioned turning your ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant, help!
Q. I am 14 pregnant to a 17 year old it was a drunken mistake, i am 1 month gone and not showing yet only small bump no one knows, i have already got morning sickness (i dont know why they call it this i'm sick throughout the day) i cant get rid of i...
A. 21 April 2009: Sorry that I have only come in your posting recently.
May I suggest that you keep a diary (print and/or electronic) on your experience, and later turn them over to be professionally published? Or be professionally edited, and published for free... (read in full...)
15 and feeling a bit behind in my sexual or sexuality development in my peer group.
Q. I am a 15 years old and while the other girls in my class are getting sexually active, i am just not feeling it. I had struggled with my sexuality in the past and was wondering whether this sort of non responsive state was normal or acceptable at m...
A. 20 April 2009: Every individual's growth is different. I was a late bloomer and a bit of a tomboy. In fact, I did not "fill up" physically until in my late 30s lol, then I really freaked out. I would say, my best years only started after college, but I enjoyed all ... (read in full...)
Herpes trauma, please help
Q. I just found out I have herpes and I wonder what resources are out there to deal with the depression I am going through. Please help. Thank you. Fred...
A. 20 April 2009: Could you be more specific in the type of herpes that you have at the moment? Have you checked with your doctor? If you have not, I suggest that you make an appointment soon.
Here's a link to the 8 types of herpes that are know currently:
Herpe... (read in full...)
I don't want to hurt my Muslim Parents, but I also love my boyfriend. What should I do?
Q. hi, my parents are strict muslims and are against the idea of having a boyfriend. ive had a boyfriend for 4 years now, and i love him a lot. i cant break up with him. My dad cares about me and has done a lot for me so he doesnt force me like ...
A. 19 April 2009: Perhaps you can start introducing your b/f to your dad in a neutral place, like a coffee shop or a nice cozy deli. It sounds like your dad is quite open and pragmatic anyways, so he may be your first ally to help you introduce your boyfriend to the ... (read in full...)
I have sexual feelings for my cousin's sister
Q. i am 24 year working guy. from last one month i have feelings for my cousin sister (my father's sister daughter). she is 22 studying in college.i want to do oral sex with her.we talked on phone frankly as a friend. i dont know what she think abt ...
A. 19 April 2009: As I understand it, pre-marital sex is pretty much taboo there, regardless of the religion there. So you have two challenges here. religious taboo and blood relations.
So the first thing to do is probably talk to her first, and find out if she has ... (read in full...)
Senior problems regarding ejaculation!
Q. I have just started a new relationship, we are both in our 60s. We are deeply in love and extremely passionate, however, he can't ejaculate. He is on mediction for hight blood pressure. So when we make love we just go on an on because nothing ...
A. 19 April 2009: It sounds like this is a question that needs to be asked to a doctor. Erection and ejaculation could be linked directly and indirectly to both physical and psychological conditions. So perhaps the next step is a doctor's practice to have a full ... (read in full...)
I feel too fat, he says too thin ...
Q. I'm 5'2" and 97 lbs. My boyfriend of four years is 5'7" and 185 lbs. I constantly feel overweight, though. I feel like I want to lose at least ten pounds! My boyfriend tells me I'm crazy for thinking that. That I'm stunningly beautiful the way I am ...
A. 19 April 2009: Have a look at your own BMI and BMR, and as long as you are in the healthy zone, you should not worry about your weight and shape.
Calculators http://www.bmi-calculator.net/
Calories Burned, BMI, BMR & RMR Calculator http://w... (read in full...)
Love him, but it's against my faith
Q. I've been in a relationship with a guy who is 5 years older than me for about a year. Due to our age difference we were never verbally intimate. We also indulged in sex about 5 months ago and since then whenever we are together alone we have ...
A. 19 April 2009: Do you live in India? What is the legal age of consent in India? Is there a law that protects children against harm? Is there a support group in your town? Central Helpline Numbers http://www.nehelpline.net Handle rape victims with sensitivity,... (read in full...)
Want to do a vid for Army b/f -- how?
Q. Recently my boyfriend deployed to Iraq, since he has been gone, he as been asking me for nude photos and a video. I have no problem in taking the pictures for him! My biggest problem is doing the video. How do I do one without looking like a ...
A. 19 April 2009: I would caution you on sending you nude pictures and videos for your boyfriend right now. If you want to do this, you need to think of a few things before sending them off to him:
1 - think of 1-5-10 years from now. Will these pictures of vide... (read in full...)
Hysterectomy..will my sex life be the same?
Q. Can someone please tell me if having a Hysterectomy will change my sex life. My husband and I have a wonderful, active sex life. I have been told by my doctor that I need to have a Hystrectomy due to enlarged Fibriods. This will be a partial ...
A. 18 April 2009: I would suggest that you start googling for more information on hysterectomy, then make a list of the pros and cons from as many sources as you can think of. Make sure inputs from all these sources can be verified and/or are from reputable ... (read in full...)
Out of my league....
Q. hey everyone i like this girl but i think that she is out of my league. We hooked-up(kissed) at a party about 3 months ago and some of her friends gave her shit for doing it. We talk like once a week texting each other, but i need to know what to d...
A. 17 April 2009: Have you ever heard of a very very old song "Uptown Girl" which originally sang by Billy Joel? (remake by West Life). Well, Billy Joel got the (uptown) girl! (btw, it was a true story, BJ married his girl Kristie Brinkley). Even Grease (the ... (read in full...)
How can I help my negative partner....
Q. I've been in a relationship with someone for two years and am seriously wondering how much longer I can continue or even if I should. The issue here is that my partner is VERY negative and judgmental of most things from sun-up to sun-down. If she i...
A. 17 April 2009: Has he always been negative in his life? I'm not sure if he is depressed, but a regular visit to the therapist, or pastor, or a counselor would certainly help.
His negativity could have stemmed from bad experiences in his life, or it could also... (read in full...)
Loveless...split family
Q. Dear readers, To cut a long story short, and without going into personal detail or circumstance. Is there anybody whom has lived apart from their partners for years on end and only get together may be 8 days a year... A phone call once a day to di...
A. 17 April 2009: I do know people who have been in your circumstances. And as Emily said, they ended up with a divorce. One couple had an amicable divorce, the other the wife took him to the cleaners.
The amicable divorce couple? Both worked in pretty much the same... (read in full...)
Incestuous thoughts from a 30 y.o. virgin male
Q. hello im allen 33 year old male from west virginia im unemployed and am living with my parents for last year my thing is i have always viewed porn and stuff. im a virgin but for last 10 to 11 months i have secretly lust for my mom from looking up f...
A. 17 April 2009: Your condition is called Oedipus Complex, as explained by Freud (psychologist).
In addition to you increasing time to do things that will occupy your mind with positive thoughts (e.g. looking for a job, working as volunteers in shelters, etc), pl... (read in full...)
I'm having an affair and my husband is bipolar
Q. Before starting, let me state that this is not your "typical" issue - at least I hope other people are not in similar situations. I'm a professional woman in my 40's with 2 grown children and a great career. I've been married for 24 years and it's...
A. 16 April 2009: You having an affair - or two - probably started as an escape from your troubled marriage. Bipolar is not a disease therefore it cannot be "cured". It can be managed only. In many cases, patients with bipolar disorder have to be re-evalu... (read in full...)
10 years of a loveless marriage, but met an interesting and loving guy online. Advice please.
Q. Guys i am in a desperate need for some help. About myself in general....I am a 30 year old asian married woman with a child. I have been married for good 10 yrs now....i was married early (arranged marriage due to our culture). My husband is a...
A. 16 April 2009: Are you absolutely sure that you cannot have a divorce? Is it because of the stigma? Or because you have to return the dowry paid when you got married?
As Uncle Phil said, you are in a very tough place right now. And his analysis/suggestion is I... (read in full...)
Double standards?
Q. how come if a women has slept with lots of men people see her as a slapper but if a man has slept with lots of women everyone sees him as 'cool'?...
A. 16 April 2009: Standards in social environment are made by people. In a patriarchal society, men set the standards and norms, rules, values. This is why there is a movement called "women's lib" or "suffrage", Right now, you and I live in patriarchal soci... (read in full...)
My best friend is HIV+ but I don't know how to be close to her now.
Q. hey everyone, so i just need some advice i recently found out one of my closest friend who i knew since we were in kindergarden and now attend to the same college..is HIV positive =[ she was always my best friend and we shared everything and w...
A. 16 April 2009: There has been quite a few articles and "how to help" sites on this.
For instance
How Can I Best Help and Support My Friend Living with HIV/AIDS? http://www.capegateway.gov.za/eng/pubs/public_info/F/87102/11
Women & HIV/AIDS Woman smil... (read in full...)
How can I say no without making things awkward with the employer?
Q. Times are tough for me financially right now, and I'm trying to set myself up in a new country, newly married etc. I've been sort of forced to take this part-time nannying job while I look for other work. The child is 2 years old, and the family i...
A. 16 April 2009: Your posting is interesting read here. Take the country away, your education away, and what do we have? Exploitation of informal labour (as "domestic help") "employed" without a contract. Normally this would happen in the developing/under-developed ... (read in full...)
Should I Break the Cycle?
Q. Seven months ago I met a very handsome man while hanging out with friends. A month into "dating" him, I found out that he was a professional athlete, something he did not want me to know. We continued as usual. After a while, he started to trav...
A. 16 April 2009: Why did he not want to let you know that he was an athlete? Did you ever ask him this question?
Athletes are just like "office" workers. They have schedules to work out and to practice. They need lots of time to sleep too, as it is the only natu... (read in full...)
I think I am pregnant, but no access to pregnancy test kit!
Q. i live in Cairo , Egypt . suspect that i'm pregnant and need a pregnancy test , i know most of you are from abroad but i have no idea where to go , the pharmacies i've been to i never saw any and here u can ask yea but for someone my age and with no ...
A. 15 April 2009: I just remembered another possible option: do you have a friend in a medical school, or a local university hospital? They may have labs there that have the appropriate reagents (as part of their research facilities/service). Your test will be ... (read in full...)
I think I am pregnant, but no access to pregnancy test kit!
Q. i live in Cairo , Egypt . suspect that i'm pregnant and need a pregnancy test , i know most of you are from abroad but i have no idea where to go , the pharmacies i've been to i never saw any and here u can ask yea but for someone my age and with no ...
A. 15 April 2009: If you have an expatriate as a friend, you can also ask him/her to get one from their embassy or from a Duty Free Shop in town. I've never been to Cairo, but perhaps some of the five star hotels may have those boutique style drug stores (usually ... (read in full...)
I just watched When Harry Met Sally and am now worried about my gf's best friend...
Q. Hello, I just watched the movie "When Harry Met Sally" and am now a little concerned. My gf's best guy friend is someone whom she has been involved with. It ended on a very awkward note for them, but they have remained good friends since. ...
A. 15 April 2009: Movies sometimes bring real life to the screen, for others to see. But on the other hand, sometimes movies can be attributed to new trend or phenomenon in real life. "Jaws", for instance, which spawned other movies of this genre, apparently created ... (read in full...)
My mother in law is totally against me breastfeeding my daughter.
Q. My mother in law is totally against me breastfeeding my daughter. Since her birth she has told my husband that breastfed babies are not as smart as bottle fed babies, that our sex life will not be the same as long as I am breastfeeding, and the I ...
A. 15 April 2009: Your mother in law may have grown up during the period where where the dairy industry lobbied their hardest to the government so they can promote formulae (cow milk) as the best food for babies from day 1. They also must have lobbied any other ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty because I am not physically attracted to my b/f
Q. iv been with my boyfriend for 6months now.. his loving, caring, senstive all the things a girl can look for in a guy and i do love him the only problem is im not psychically attracted to him and i feel really guilty about it.. his always telling m...
A. 14 April 2009: I agree, body odor can be a turn off. Have you talked to him about this? Go to a doctor if necessary. Many factors play into this. though mostly genetics, but his daily diet can cause it too. There may be natural remedies (non industrial/chemical) ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty because I am not physically attracted to my b/f
Q. iv been with my boyfriend for 6months now.. his loving, caring, senstive all the things a girl can look for in a guy and i do love him the only problem is im not psychically attracted to him and i feel really guilty about it.. his always telling m...
A. 14 April 2009: First question: What is it about him - physically - that you don't find "attractive" to you? Height? Weight? Body odour? Fashion sense? Skin colour? (two-tone instead of "rainbow" lol) Hair?
Second question: What is about him that made you like... (read in full...)
My mum is having an internet affair
Q. Ive just found out that my mum is having a internet affair and all the while my father has been in a retirement home very sick I caught her talking to a guy on the phone all i know is he is an American guy what am i to do. I know I will not tell dad ...
A. 14 April 2009: One thing that I noticed from your posting, is that the possibility that your mother had you when she was 13 years old. Is that correct? (You are 36 and your Mum is 49).
Cheating as a form of escapism is never correct, of course. However, we shou... (read in full...)
My bf is 7 yrs older than me and I know it's illegal for us to date. Is he worth it?? Please read xxx
Q. i am currently going out with a 21 year old and im only 13 (he was 20 when we started seeing eachother) the thing is he hasnt pressured me into anything and ive never felt this way before. i know about his past and everything ive spoken 2 his cous...
A. 13 April 2009: What grade are you in right now, sweetheart? What do you want to do when you finish school? Do you plan to be a full time mother and housewife (that is a 24/7 job mind you!), or do you want to have your independence as a person by having a job ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to like being a tease?
Q. is it wrong to like being a tease? I used to have very low self esteem and guys would use me but as i have grown up i am a more confident woman. being honest, not trying to sound like a snobby bitch but when i go out clubbing i feel like i can get ...
A. 13 April 2009: I smiled reading HavingProblems' analogy of men - to dogs ^-^
But anyways, if you are saying you are enjoying yourself, you have a bubbly personality, and you find it easy to talk to and laugh with guys, and the answer is "yes, it is fine".
It is... (read in full...)
Addicted to the internet!
Q. This has nothing to do with love or relationships, but I think i'm addicted to the internet!! I sound like a sad loser that doesn't have a social life, but i'm simply on it more because there's nothing to do, and I have no money. Especially bore...
A. 13 April 2009: Like any other [paid] jobs, some volunteer works are not "advertised" per se. If you went to any of the charity shops (Oxfam, Barnardos, etc), they always need a helping hand even if it is only for a few hours (e.g. sorting through donated clothes, ... (read in full...)
Sex and travel during pregnancy?
Q. Hi there, my wife is pregnant for about three months. Can we go abroad on August and can we have sex normally or it will make things difficult. Thank You...
A. 13 April 2009: There are myths surrounding having sex during pregnancy, but these should direct you to the answers you are looking for:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sex-during-pregnancy/HO00140
http:... (read in full...)
The Police keeps harassing us because my ex bf violated parole
Q. my now ex boyfriend violated parole months ago. he doesn't live with me, btw i live in bronx new york. officers keep coming here, they just left a few minutes ago. its now 600 am, they got here at 445 am. i have repeatedly told them the same ...
A. 13 April 2009: Have you tried contacting a legal aid organization? Call these lines, and ask if they can help you, or if they can't, perhaps they can give you a number to call that can help you with your aunt's SSD issue: Civil Practice * Bronx Neighbor... (read in full...)
What do I have to do? I love him.
Q. hey i'm 15 and have a boyfriend and he is 20 he is nice,cute,understanding,stupid,and very important to me but my parents knows about this and they really don't like him so what i'm going to do?...
A. 12 April 2009: Do you live in the Phillipines? Why do your parents not like him, do you know? Is this because you are still in school? What is the legal age for consent in the Phillipines? If anything sexual happened to you, he could go to jail for it, based on ... (read in full...)
Adopted son caught wanking, now he's acting up around the house
Q. Hi there, i have been through the adoption process with my 13 year old son and we are not fully sorted and happy father/son relationship, but recently i walked into the bathroom to find him masturbating. Which is fine, we all do it, but not he isnt...
A. 12 April 2009: His being adopted perhaps play a little bit in this, but teenagers being teenagers and their hormones, his behaviour sounds "normal" to me. The sulking, the raging hormones, the embarrassment, the mood swings are not that uncommon amongst teenagers, ... (read in full...)
We're getting married in May but people don't think we should marry!
Q. I'm suppose to be getting married on the 8th of May. It won't be a big wedding. Just a lil something at city hall. The thing is, my mother and my big sister haven't met him yet. I don't really care about him not meeting my mother. Its my sister I'm ...
A. 12 April 2009: Sometimes when friends worry about us, they do it for a reason. (Though sometimes they are just being a busybody though LOL) However, what were some of the things that they worried about, with this man that you are about to marry? Are they worried... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems to have trouble with his writing, should I broach the subject with him?
Q. I have noticed that my 35 year old boyfriend writes very slowly using an awful lot of concentration. He only writes in capital letters and I haven't seen him use joined up writing. He doesn't get letters the wrong way around so I don't think it is ...
A. 12 April 2009: If his mum also just notices, or does not know of this problem in the past, perhaps his eyesight needs to be examined. There could be other medical reasons too.
The approach of course, in asking him to go to the doctors, is to help him, not to see ... (read in full...)
Happy Easter!
Q. I thought instead of posting a question on [troubled] relationship [issues], I thought I'd post something more upbeat ;-) So, I just wanted to post a short note to say "Happy Easter" this long weekend (Good Friday, Easter Monday/Bank Holi...
A. 11 April 2009: Eyes, they taste different because the main seasoning are love and happiness and fun! :-) Gina ... can I join the eggs chase downhill? Sounds wayyyy fun! I'll wear my knee and elbow pads... not sure helmet is necessary cuz [as my close friends wo... (read in full...)
Happy Easter!
Q. I thought instead of posting a question on [troubled] relationship [issues], I thought I'd post something more upbeat ;-) So, I just wanted to post a short note to say "Happy Easter" this long weekend (Good Friday, Easter Monday/Bank Holi...
A. 10 April 2009: Aahh ... spring is wonderful. Fresh new leaves :-) of new beginnings ....
Cat
... (read in full...)
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