My husband pays full maintenance for his kids from his 1st marriage, and that leaves him with hardly anything for our household!
Q. My husband has 2 children from his first marriage, I don't have any and we do not have children together yet. He pays maintenance for the kids regularly and in full. The problem is that there always seem to be extra expenses and things they nee...
A. 5 March 2011: I don't think your feeling resentful about this situation is unreasonable, but it's probably something you are going to have to try and work through - yourself, and as a couple. Your husbands children are his responsibility - and I imagine he loves... (read in full...)
I cheated so why isn't my wife angry?
Q. I had an affair. She ended it. I was no longer in love with my wife. The situation wasn't fair to either of us, so I told her everything and that I was ready to leave (she'd had her suspicions). She broke down and couldn't really function, so I ...
A. 10 November 2009: I hate to be the pessimist - but it sounds to me that no 'productive' work on your marriage will take place while you feel the way you do - you don't want it - and your reaction to your wife's response to your infidelity shows you actually do not ... (read in full...)
Six months and no I love you
Q. I know that every relationship moves at a different pace and you can't put a time limit on love. But I think it is typical of most relationships that after six months you know someone well enough to know whether you love them or not? It's not ...
A. 10 November 2009: I don't think the problem lies in your guy not saying 'I love you' - love can be expressed in so many others ways like you talk about - but I think the fact that you feel so insecure in this relationship, and so early on too, is the real problem. ... (read in full...)
I've cheated on my fiancee and I'm seeing him this weekend... Do I tell?
Q. I've got myself into such a mess. I'm engaged to the most amazing guy in the world, he means everything to me. We currently only see eachother at weekends as I'm at university now, and may way of coping with him not being here is to sort of push him ...
A. 7 November 2009: I think you absolutely must tell your fiance what has happened - as hard as that will be for both of you- if you don't you are 'getting away with it' in your mind...and it will mean that you have already set yourself up to cheat in the future - this ... (read in full...)
He says he's bored with me and that I'm unattractive. Should I still try?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little more than two years now and we have been living together close to two years. Just a couple of weeks ago he had been coming home late at night around 4 in the moring every night. He says he is with ...
A. 18 September 2009: I agree with BeingBlack - this guy has issues of his own which he is projecting onto you - I also would have suspicions that he is either cheating or contemplating it at least...probably has his eye on someone.
I also think that what he has said... (read in full...)
I don't want an abortion but I don't want to risk my sisters health!
Q. I'm 19 years old and 6 weeks pregnant. My uni course starts in 2 weeks where i will be studying Law. So my boyfriend of a year has me all focused on having an abortion, when it will break my heart to do so, and even worse my family has a history of ...
A. 15 September 2009: I know this is a really hard situation - but my main advise is to make a decision for YOU - not based on what your BF wants or what might happen to your sister if you have an abortion - that is not how you need to be thinking. Yeah - these are ... (read in full...)
She has a horrible past.. do I look passed it, try to fix it.. tell her parents?
Q. There's a girl. She was abused as a small child and after a while being fostered was put up for adoption at the age of 4. This needs to be taken into account I think when you consider that she says she... Lost her virginity (willingly) wh...
A. 15 September 2009: Good luck! :-)... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's ex stalks me but I'm scared to tell him...
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a bizarre problem and was wondering if anyone could give me some advice about how to deal with it. My boyfriend was with his ex girlfriend for 2 years and i know they meant loads to each other. they had a pretty rocky rel...
A. 23 August 2009: I would ignore her - telling your BF or getting freaked out is only giving her a reaction/attention - and fueling this weird behaviour further.
Maybe try saying "nice haircut" next time - which she would totally not expect - if she thinks y... (read in full...)
Voicemail from my partner's ex has made me paranoid!
Q. my partner has started talking to his ex again and I'm getting paranoid but he doesn't know I know. I found out the other day when I was home and he had left his phone at home. It started ringing and it was his ex. It then beeped saying she had l...
A. 23 August 2009: You wouldn't have listened to the message if you were not feeling concerned - I think you should trust your gut. Discuss this issue with your man - if he needs to cut contact completely with this ex to show you he is committed to you - then he ... (read in full...)
At 33, could this be just a mid-life crisis?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 9 years and majority of the time it was good till recently. Lately it seems he doesn't care if I'm here or not. I feel he is looking for things to do to deliberately make me mad. Lately I do nothing right in his ...
A. 23 August 2009: How do you know for a fact it's not cheating?
He may not be sleeping with someone - but it sounds like the potential is there - he is distancing himself from you, disgruntled at home, finding fault with you and your life together...
you need to ... (read in full...)
She has a horrible past.. do I look passed it, try to fix it.. tell her parents?
Q. There's a girl. She was abused as a small child and after a while being fostered was put up for adoption at the age of 4. This needs to be taken into account I think when you consider that she says she... Lost her virginity (willingly) wh...
A. 23 August 2009: Hi. I appreciate that you care for this girl and want to help her - god, what she has been through sounds very traumatic. I do not think it is your place to tell anyone about her past though, nor do I think you can 'fix her'.
This girl is dama... (read in full...)
Trouble with my husband's affair and flirting..
Q. Moderator's note: OP asked two seperate questions and they have been combined below. Question 1: i had just found out - my husband had an affair with a married woman for about 4 mounth. he told me it was over and he would never see her again. i kne...
A. 23 August 2009: I agree with Baby Duck - this man is not someone you should waste your time with. The flirting with waitresses stuff - makes HIM look pathetic you're right, BUT the fact he is doing that with you right there - shows he completely lacks respect for ... (read in full...)
Married co-worker wants to take me to dinner and a show?
Q. Okay so I started interning at a newspaper after last month. A web designer guy stopped by the office once to meet my boss. Afterward he annoyed me for 30 minutes asking for advice about his mistress!!! He eventually left but he has been calling the ...
A. 18 August 2009: This guy sounds like a complete dick...so unless that's what you're looking for in a man I'd stay FAR away from this one!!... (read in full...)
I don't even want to hug my husband..let alone sleep with him!
Q. I never thought this would happen to me but I really don't like my husband anymore. We've been together for 10 years, since we were 18, and married for 3 years. No kids and both aged 28. I always thought we were so great together - a perfect fit....
A. 13 March 2009: I could be way off, but here's what I think. It sounds to me like there are certain issues which have become 'hot topics' for you two - by that I mean that when they are raised neither of you feels like they are heard, understood, represented ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on trying to find a b/f because I have been unlucky in love so far?
Q. hi after all my rejection in the last 10 years i think i should give up on getting a boyfriend its too much of pain.there is too much competion out there .the guys i like somebody else so i don,t think is much point, any boys perfer tall,gorgeou...
A. 13 March 2009: This may come across as sarcastic - and I guess it is - but yeah, give up....every guy out there is exactly the same and it's not worth wasting your energy on any of them.
Look - if we all went around 'giving up' when we had set backs a hell of a... (read in full...)
I need to tell my parents that I may have schitzophrenia
Q. This can really change my life and the people around me. I am ready to tell my parents that I may have schizophrenia, I am ready, I am not that afraid, I am, but I can take it, I just don't know how to tell, my mom, someone help, this can really ...
A. 4 March 2009: There are some excellent support services for people diagnosed with schizophrenia and other mental health conditions- my advice would be to see a psychologist and be certain what you are dealing with - if it is schizophrenia get as much information ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to propose to her... I'm 14!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months now and I'm a sophmore in high school and she is a junior and she's going to enlist in the national gaurd and me in the navy but I really really love her and I was thinking about proposing march 31 her ...
A. 3 March 2009: It's wonderful to be in love - good for you. In my opinion though - proposing marriage right now is probably not the best idea. It is a fact that you and your gilrfriend have not finished developing yet - your brain will not be finished developing ... (read in full...)
Starting a new job but my ex works there... my boyfriend is upset that I'm taking it.
Q. I'm starting a new job, my first job but the problem is that my ex also works there so now my boyfriend is very upset with me....
A. 3 March 2009: Why don't you ask your boyfriend what it is he is upset or concerned about - is he worried you will flirt, cheat?? What? Explain to him that you care for him now - not your ex - and that you want him to feel secure in that. Tell him why you want to ... (read in full...)
Should I continue on these pills?
Q. I need some advice. I have been dating a guy for some time now. He's 38 and I am 20. I am also a teacher and I am ready to have a child. The problem is I have problems ovulating and my doctor puts me on fertility drugs - which I am taking now. H...
A. 3 March 2009: I know what it feels like to want to have a child - but I also believe that many people do it without fully thinking through the consequences. If your partner is 'hesitating' then getting pregnant now MAY have dire consequnces for your relationship ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 have a baby, want another. Should I?
Q. I'm 14 and when I was 13 I wanted a baby really badly. Well I got one and my daughter is just the love of my life. The father left but still helps fnancially, other than that I am supporting the baby fully on my own, so don't even start with any of ...
A. 3 March 2009: I think you're right to wait for a while. You write in your post of how you are currently supporting you and your baby - well done - but you also write of your plans to further your education and enhance your job prospects in the future. In my ... (read in full...)
How do you know when love is meant to be?
Q. how do you know when a love is meant to be?...
A. 23 February 2009: I personally don;t think you can know that - all you can do is take a risk if you find someone who makes your heart beat faster and who you want to be with all the time.
There are no guarantees that any relationship is meant to be - you just hav... (read in full...)
I don't think he loves me... should I leave him?
Q. I live with a guy, he tells me he loves me but he never wants to kiss me or have sex with be but he wants me to give him oral sex when he watchs porn. He sometimes has sex with other girls! We have been living together 5 months. Should I leave ...
A. 23 February 2009: Think about where you hope to be in another 5 months - is it likely to be much different if you stay in this realtionship or will you just be evn more unhappy?
Go and find someone who can give you what you want.... (read in full...)
Married & cheating with a co-worker
Q. I cheated on my wife with a co worker (we made out once). I completely regret and I wish didn't. My wife always has been faithful towards me. She has no I idea what I have done. Should I tell her? The co worker keeps flirting with me and I can't ...
A. 11 February 2009: It seems Nitram Blue and I have the same advice - only differing opinions on how to achieve it...that is DON"T CHEAT AGAIN.
I can see what he is saying - the potential for 'fall out' if you come clean is definately there - but I fear the potentia... (read in full...)
Married & cheating with a co-worker
Q. I cheated on my wife with a co worker (we made out once). I completely regret and I wish didn't. My wife always has been faithful towards me. She has no I idea what I have done. Should I tell her? The co worker keeps flirting with me and I can't ...
A. 25 January 2009: Hmmmm - so NitramBlue, do you really believe that concealing...or deceit is the right idea in this situation? This means our poster takes no responsibility - therefore has no consequence (I'm not talking divorce..but even a sense of shame is better ... (read in full...)
Married & cheating with a co-worker
Q. I cheated on my wife with a co worker (we made out once). I completely regret and I wish didn't. My wife always has been faithful towards me. She has no I idea what I have done. Should I tell her? The co worker keeps flirting with me and I can't ...
A. 19 January 2009: You are already headed down the slippery slope into cheating...you still feel regret so that's a good thing and it may not be too late to change things. If you read some literature on affairs and cheating behaviour you will see that if you do not ... (read in full...)
Was I an asshole?
Q. One night came home after work and was horny as hell. I ended making love to my girlfriend. She's extremely self-conscious about her breasts because of a birthmark and won't take off her bra for me no matter how I beg. Anyway I couldn't take it ...
A. 19 January 2009: Yes and you know it. Not only that - you were abusive. Obviously this issue is effecting you as well as your girlfriend - but ou have only gone and made the problem much much worse - chances are your girlfriend will never feel quite safe with you ... (read in full...)
I love a married man! I don't expect him to leave his wife, but I suffer so much when not being with him, what can I do??
Q. hello, i dont want any hurtful or rude comments, iam writing to everyone here because i think this is a site for evryone to write about their problems and feeling's. Well, iam seeing a married man. i have ben seeing him for 2 1/2 years now. i got ...
A. 29 November 2008: I honestly believe the best thing you could do for YOU is to have some therapy - something is not right for you to have put yourself in this position in the first place - and to have allowed it to continue for 2 1/2 years.
Some part of you know... (read in full...)
I'm scared of what's going to happen when I go into labour!
Q. I'm about 8 months pregnant and I'm starting to get scared of whats going to happen when I go into labour. I'm only 15 and this is my first baby, I'm not sure if I will make a good parent and I'm kinda on my own. I live with my parents and my dad ...
A. 19 November 2008: Hey and congratulations! I agree with the other posters, it's very 'normal' to start to feel worried about labour when you get to 8 months and it suddenly dawns on you that you have to get that baby out somehow. ;-)
I think one of the hardest thin... (read in full...)
How to get my wife to tell me the real truth about an affair?
Q. Are there any special words that I can tell my woman to get the truth out of her? Possibly, something that I can say that will touch her in a way(emotionally) that she will finaly come clean? I have a strong sense that my wife has had sex. I found ...
A. 9 November 2008: I know wanting details is probably driving you crazy right now - but my suggestion to you is to think beyond what may or may not have happened between this guy and your wife. The only 'fact' that you need to consider is that for some reason your ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife what really happened between us?
Q. ok..so I know you're going to judge me and I cannot explain how complicated this whole situation is...but the jist of it is I am a mistress with a married man. This has been going on for 5 months...his wife found out about us about almost 3 months ...
A. 23 October 2008: Your 'relationship' is with this guy - NOT his wife. You should not concern yourself with her or what he is 'doing to her'. Let's face it - you haven't really thought much about her feelings previously have you?
You want to tell his wife for your... (read in full...)
How can I set up my wife to meet someone else, so I can go on with the one I love?
Q. I have been seeing another woman for over 20 years. I made a mistake and got married to someone else and I am very unhappy. How can I set up my wife to meet someone else, so I can go on with the one I love....
A. 23 October 2008: You have stolen twenty years of someone's life - you know you have. Nothing you do will EVER atone for that, not in your mind, nor her mind nor the minds of any children you two have. You deserve to feel guilty - and here you are trying to wimp out ... (read in full...)
Shall I finish with my current affair only to pursue another one?
Q. Hi. I feel so terrible writing this. This is more like a confessional than a request for advice. I got married four years ago to a man I first met when I was in university (ten years ago). He was my first real boyfriend. Late last year our ...
A. 23 October 2008: Noone's ever past saving in my opinion...you can choose to do better just as easily as you can choose to do the wrong thing!
It sounds like you like to distance yourself from your role and responsibility in the above situation - like it's 'bey... (read in full...)
Threesomes are a "must have" for him but I panick at the sole thought! How do I work this out?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for months now and have fallen hard for him...and in turn him for me. I want to be with him but one thing that is a must have for him is having threesomes and/or foursomes. While I am bisexual and have been with other women ...
A. 23 October 2008: I hope not, he may surprise you and value you more than you think! See how it goes when you talk with him.
I know this is really hard for you - I'd be feeling the same way I'm sure, but unfortunately you can't stop it now - you have to deal with... (read in full...)
Threesomes are a "must have" for him but I panick at the sole thought! How do I work this out?
Q. I have been seeing a guy for months now and have fallen hard for him...and in turn him for me. I want to be with him but one thing that is a must have for him is having threesomes and/or foursomes. While I am bisexual and have been with other women ...
A. 20 October 2008: I agree, part of close, loving relationships is compromise - for example, I'm a neat freak and my man is pretty darn messy...but we each have had to compromise and meet half way - so that this 'issue' (which can actually be HUGE for lots of ... (read in full...)
I am 38 years old, a widow, and a 19 year old, who knows my age, wants to date me, is this proper?
Q. Hello all I work for a travel firm, i am 38 and a widow, a work collegue has asked me out, the trouble is that he is 19, i do like him and he knows how old i am, his reply to the age gap is that he wants to go out with a older woman because th...
A. 20 October 2008: I think I agree with the previous poster...I can't help but wonder whether you may be 'hurt' if he has had his tithrills with you and then goes off with an 18 year old...but hey, that can happen with a guy who's any age can't it!! I don;t think it's ... (read in full...)
Should I date this married woman knowing that she'll never leave her husband?
Q. Alright around 4 months ago I met this girl and her husband. Both very good people I was going through a rough time. She helped me through a lot of it and we became very good friends in the process. Well early on in the friendship I fou...
A. 20 October 2008: Maybe you should read some of the other posts on here about 'affairs'....from what I read it seems they are never seen as 'long term'...however the amount of times that someones attachment gets too strong, and they want more is unbelievable.
S... (read in full...)
Nervous about possible complication.
Q. I met an awesome man almost a year ago and we slowly developed our relationship but we never really spoke about what our expectactions of each other are and now I found myself confused because it seemed like we were together but I didn't feel a ...
A. 19 October 2008: Who knows? You'd be surprised how long people can guard secrets if they are potentially damaging for them! I'd be nervous too - but just try to remain calm until you've had a chance to have that conversation. Obviously there is something going on ... (read in full...)
Should I date this married woman knowing that she'll never leave her husband?
Q. Alright around 4 months ago I met this girl and her husband. Both very good people I was going through a rough time. She helped me through a lot of it and we became very good friends in the process. Well early on in the friendship I fou...
A. 19 October 2008: What would be the point for you really? I'm guessing she's not the first woman you've felt attracted to or shared similar interests with? This scenario is very complex - and if you already have 'feelings' involved it can only really lead to ... (read in full...)
I'm a newlywed and I can't seem to get aroused by my wife! Advice?
Q. I am a newlywed and I can't seem to get aroused by my wife. I never had a problem with that before we were married. she is gorgeous, and sexy, and I truely love her and enjoy my time with her, and yet I cant seem to get hard, I can however, when i ...
A. 16 October 2008: I think all the avice on here is sound, just wanted to add that you really should do all you can to ensure your wife knows you still find her attractive. You could end up with worse sexual issues if your wife's self esteem plummets because you don't ... (read in full...)
He told me I had no "presence" as in when I was in a room I didn’t stand out and faded into the background.
Q. Sorry this is quite long! I went on a date last night with a guy who I've fancied for a while and who I was getting signals from, as in he kept asking in a roundabout way if I had a boyfriend and said a couple of times I looked "cute". I was to...
A. 15 October 2008: Do you really need this complexity in your life? If you are recovering from a difficult break up do you really think it's wise to date someone who makes you doubt yourself and whose every move you are questioning? I don't.
This guy sounds a... (read in full...)
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