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... Send *irdynumnums a private message | | | *irdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook*
Be careful what you Think, Thoughts become Words.
Be careful what you Say, Words become Actions.
Be careful what you Do, Actions will Define your Character.
...and Your Character will Determine your Destiny.
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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My busy body downstairs neighbour thinks she rules the block!
Q. Please could somebody help with with this issue... My neighbour downstairs is a busy body(i live in a block of flats, i'm top floor) she thinks she rules the block and orders everybody around. She cornered me as soon as I moved in with a set of ru...
A. 19 April 2015: Treble. ... (read in full...)
My busy body downstairs neighbour thinks she rules the block!
Q. Please could somebody help with with this issue... My neighbour downstairs is a busy body(i live in a block of flats, i'm top floor) she thinks she rules the block and orders everybody around. She cornered me as soon as I moved in with a set of ru...
A. 19 April 2015: (The two Doberman Pinchers attacked and bit my daughter...)... (read in full...)
My busy body downstairs neighbour thinks she rules the block!
Q. Please could somebody help with with this issue... My neighbour downstairs is a busy body(i live in a block of flats, i'm top floor) she thinks she rules the block and orders everybody around. She cornered me as soon as I moved in with a set of ru...
A. 19 April 2015: I have had one bad neighbour in every place that I have ever lived in. Just be thankful that you are on the top floor and not her!!! My daughter and her new condo are exactly in same that position; she lives under the dancing elephant who ... (read in full...)
Why is he saying what a crazy needy possessive bitch I am, who won't leave him alone and is constantly telling him what to do?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years is very busy. He has several jobs and, to be honest, has what I think are OCD-like tendencies. So, when he does have some rare time at home he spends it doing things like cutting holes in the walls to hide the wires BEHIND ...
A. 17 April 2015: You BOTH have kids, He has a crazy schedule, you both work.
If you don't give in a bit because he has a crazier schedule than YOU do; then you are being a little crazy and needy and possessive.
He's not yours, he belongs to his kids first, a... (read in full...)
I need my fiance to grow up because I have to tell him I'm pregnant!
Q. My fiancee keeps changing his mind about what he wants, and whether he wants our wedding to go ahead, and now I'm pregnant I'm scared he will say he isn't sure if he wants a family. I'm just so confused by his behaviour and I need some advice on how ...
A. 17 April 2015: We know a lot about the timeline of your relationship and nothing about why you two are together. Love each other? Things in common? Common goals? Plans for the future? It all seems a little sketchy. Why would you let yourself become pregnant ... (read in full...)
My wife wants children and I don't she knew this when we married. Am I selfish?
Q. My Wife thinks I'm selfish because I don't want to have children, whereas she is desperate. I'm 29 and she is 30, we've been together 5 years, married just under 1 year. To be honest I don't like kids, I've never understood the appeal of children. ...
A. 16 April 2015: I think she should not have married you knowing that you don't want children and hoping that you would change your mind. I don't think she should have married you when she knew that you didn't want children, period, but she did.
I don't think YOU ... (read in full...)
How have others coped with pre-natal depression? I am 13 weeks pregnant
Q. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with my second child to a new partner, it wasn't planned and ever since I have found out I have not really felt happiness. I feel quite depressed and i think its more then my hormones I don't feel excited and ...
A. 16 April 2015: I'd also check with your OBGYN.... (read in full...)
He makes excuses to not give me his facebook password!
Q. So i've been with my boyfriend since mid November, i love him dearly but i've always had a few trust issues with him. As of lately theyve gotten really bad, he wont give me his Facebook password, uses the excuse "i change it to much, ive forgot it." ...
A. 6 April 2015: Good grief. You aren't entitled to his facebook password. Period.
Either you trust this man or you don't; AND you so obvious DON'T!!!
...So, why are you with him???... (read in full...)
Is it just a teen thing? I prefer girls. I like girls. So why have I been having fantasies about guys lately?
Q. Hello everyone! Just got a question about my sexual orientation, and the fact that I fear myself! I'm 15 years old, and like women. I'm straight. At least, I think I am. I have often (increasingly recent) been having sexual fantasies with men...
A. 5 April 2015: This link may also help you come to terms with your own sexuality and explain your bicuriousity. Sexual orientation isn't necessarily a black and white scale for everyone, it's more more complex and fluid than that!
http:... (read in full...)
My friend treats me like an Idiot and I don't know what to do
Q. Hello everyone! I hope someone out there can help me. Ive been having some problems recently with someone whom used to be quite a close friend to me, but now a days that seems to have changed and Im not sure why. I had a friend who I met in Uni abo...
A. 3 April 2015: I suspect that there has been some altercation that has slipped your mind. I think it's easy to brush things under the carpet and pretend there hasn't been one, but if I were to ask you if ANYTHING else had happened, I'm sure something would pop ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is bipolar, what must I do?
Q. My boyfriend recently was discharged from a mental hospital where he was being treated for bipolar disorder. A psychologist there told him that he must cut me off to spare me pain. I think this is ridiculous but he listened. I also found out that he ...
A. 2 April 2015:
One of the more pertinent points is that you actually do not have legal access to his full medical information because you are not next-of-kin and unrelated; legally, you don't have full access to his medical information through his doctors. What... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is bipolar, what must I do?
Q. My boyfriend recently was discharged from a mental hospital where he was being treated for bipolar disorder. A psychologist there told him that he must cut me off to spare me pain. I think this is ridiculous but he listened. I also found out that he ...
A. 1 April 2015: Even if your boyfriend only SAID that the Psychologist told him to end the relationship, whether or not the Psychologist, in fact, said it, the only certain thing is that Your Boyfriend said it; and HE is telling you that he wants the relationship ... (read in full...)
To date or break up because of his unworthy friends?
Q. Hi friends, I am here to know the opinion about how I am feeling is co-related in any manner with any one of you or am I the only person feeling this way. So I'm dating a guy who is 8 years elder to me and it's only beem 6 months to this relation...
A. 28 March 2015:
Do you want ANY of those problems forever?
-His priority is his job
-He's a party animal
-Work always comes before your relationship
-You don't like his friends or girl friends
-He doesn't like yours
-He scrutinizes your male friends
-... (read in full...)
What did he mean, "you don't have to sell your soul"
Q. Hello, I have been having an affair with a separated man. He has been separated for 5 years but remains in close contact with his wife who lives close by. She has never found anybody else and always hopes they will get back together. He has been ...
A. 6 January 2014: You did "sell your soul to the devil". And he provoked you! So you yelled at him!
The "devil" is the man you were seeing and "selling your soul to him" was letting your heart get involved with a separated man who is still involved with his wife... (read in full...)
I went to the movies with a male friend. Was that cheating on my boyfriend?
Q. I've been friends with this guy for 2 years and 2 weeks ago he told me he's never had a gf before and that I was the first girl that got close to him and he developed feelings for me, I reminded him I have a boyfriend that I love, he said he was ...
A. 2 January 2014: Let's not fool ourselves!
You chose to go out with a 'friend' (who confessed he liked you) behind your boyfriends back. That's cheating. He became more than a friend the minute he confessed; you became guilty by going out with him after that... (read in full...)
Husband insists on going clubbing without wife - why
Q. So here's my problem in a nutshell I believe my husband is having a midlife crisis and I don't see a way back from this - so any advice will be appreciated. We are both in our forties and some months ago he started going out with his friends on ...
A. 17 July 2012: What Every Other Aunt said is right, he is either cheating on you or planning to cheat.
You already knew this, or you wouldn't be here writing about it. You knew it, you know it, your HUSBAND is acting out and you are in denial. Accept that... (read in full...)
My mom breastfeeds my brother in public and I hate it!
Q. I hate it when my mom breastfeeds my baby brother in public. What should I do? She has done it several times. Why the hell would she wanna do it in public? She's crazy. It embarrasses the hell out of me. It's also disgusting. Is there a way I ca...
A. 26 June 2012: Breast is best for both mother and baby; it promotes health, immunities are passed along as well so baby misses a few colds along the way and it promotes bonding. I am sure, that when you think about it, you want the same thing for your brother ... (read in full...)
I am being horribly bullied by my ex housemates and I don't know what to do
Q. Hey guys, Just looking for a little support. My head is about to explode. Recently I lived with two people, a guy and a girl I would have considered friends. Some messy events lead to me them moving out and me loosing A LOT of money. Inclu...
A. 22 June 2012: YAY You!
Proud of you.
Give 'em hell.
:^D... (read in full...)
I am being horribly bullied by my ex housemates and I don't know what to do
Q. Hey guys, Just looking for a little support. My head is about to explode. Recently I lived with two people, a guy and a girl I would have considered friends. Some messy events lead to me them moving out and me loosing A LOT of money. Inclu...
A. 22 June 2012: YOU are being a total COWARD. You are NOT in the wrong at all.
You are RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop letting these two ASSHOLES walk all over you.
Not only do you have the legal right to prosecute, you are morally in the right as well. They are big... (read in full...)
Is this abuse or just a bad temper?
Q. How can you tell if your being emoitionly and verbely abused by your partner? my bfs bestfriend wich is now also my bestfriend asked me how do i put up with the abuse but i dint know i was? My boyfriend does call me names some times and yells at me ...
A. 16 May 2012: Here's a checklist that might help you figure out if you are being abused.
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/what-is-abuse/assess-your-situation/
You are a very young girl and your future is ahead of you. PLEASE consider that you are responsi... (read in full...)
What is your opinion about what the wife should pay for after marriage?
Q. Dear cupid, I wanted your opinion on after a couple is married what is the wife, should the wife pay for? My Hubby to be wants me to pay the mortgage and he would pay for everything else ie taxes,food, insurance,pet care, car care,everything....
A. 9 May 2012: Both husband and wife should put their paychecks into a joint account.
There shouldn't be a differentiation of 'MY money' and 'YOUR money'. It's OUR marriage and OUR money and we should be working out OUR expenses together.
The household... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said "he's the boss of me, not me the boss of him!"
Q. Hello, I have a boyfriend we have been together for 2 and a half years hes and have recently hit some problems and we broke up for about a month, but after some talking we got back together. But yesterday he got annoyed at me for something ...
A. 7 May 2012: RUN. FLEE. HEAD FOR THE HILLS.
That's a huge red flag.
Kick him to the curb.
This fellow has the potential for being abusive. If you aren't sure - here's a checklist of "RED FLAGS" for men who have the potential to become abusive and ... (read in full...)
How do I get over knowing I'm attracted to him and he may be attracted to me? I keep thinking what if he had been single.
Q. I ran into an old boyfriend of mine in highschool I broke up with him because we were young and just not ready it's been some years he is now married for 2 years she has cheated on him and he is not sure if he is staying with her or not she is ...
A. 4 May 2012: YOU are so smart.
Emotions aside, think with your head and ask yourself - "Would I be happy and proud to describe this relationship and how it started to our children?"
You already know the answer - It's the same reason that you didn't want to ... (read in full...)
Can sex make your boobs smaller?
Q. I just began to obsessed with my boobs lately, I want it bigger, I see a skinny person with big boobs and mine is just too small, when I was going through puberty I think it was so big and I hated it. I always think it is always getting on my wa...
A. 24 February 2012: Actually, you can affect the size of your boobs by eating too much red meat. The hormones that farmers feed the cattle does actually affect your breast tissue. It also affects your FAT and your cholesterol as well - so you will ALSO gain weight ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for my employee. And love my wife. Can I stay close friends with my employee, and yet not allow it to become more?
Q. I have been married for 12 years and have 2 young children, a boy and a girl with my wife. At my work, there is a woman who works for me that I have grown fond of over the years and in recent months I have admitted to her that I had feelings for...
A. 16 January 2012: WE ALL run into people that we are attracted to - even after we are married. That is humans and normal. Marriage is a Choice. This is a fantasy. It is a feeling. NOT EVERY FEELING SHOULD BE ACTED ON.
You are a married dad.
I can't im... (read in full...)
His friend was there before we married, and I'm not sure she isn't still first for him
Q. we have a friend who is in the hospital.my husband and this friend used to depend on each other since they didn't have anyone else until i came into the picture. i feel like things were fine when we were dating but deteriorated after marriage-he ...
A. 16 January 2012: When you marry, your husband should put you before all others as his partner in life; as you do for him. This means he should be aware of your feelings and put them first as well - as well as keeping your CONFIDENCES and not discussing your sacred ... (read in full...)
Guys, do you freak out like this?
Q. I know this is a huge generalized question, but how long does it really take a guy to decide what he's doing in a relationship? We've been exclusive for a year. There are things we understand about each other that neither of us thought anyone could. ...
A. 3 November 2011: Stop asking us questions about this and ask him all your questions. At 35-40, he should be grown up enough to handle it. It's called manhood. If he runs and hides or evades the questions; he's a boy.... (read in full...)
Men are selfish!
Q. Ok, the title says it all and I am sick to death, borderline disgusted by the selfish nature of men. Let's not deny it. It is 100% true. I have no problem attracting men. But here's the thing, The second an attractive woman ignores the man who is c...
A. 3 November 2011: You have chosen unwisely.
Accept half of the responsibility and make better choices for yourself in the future.
Not all men are bastards and you have been given the brain of a woman to be able to distinguish between the players and the men.... (read in full...)
My mother calls him a waste of space. Why can't my parents accept him, despite all the good things?
Q. My parents dislike (and I suspect possibly even hate) my boyfriend. Why? I'm 19, and he's 21, he's got a job in IT / computer maintenance, went to uni and is qualified, doesn't drink (except as a social drinker) and spends most of his time outside...
A. 15 October 2011: When I was dating "boys"; my parents thought it was cute and liked most of them.
Then one day; I brought home a nice young man, who was in first year university. My parents were suddenly a bit apprehensive. And he was also good young man with... (read in full...)
Embarrassed of getting erection while hugging my date. Opinions needed!
Q. Something very embarrassing happened to me and I would like female readers' opinions: There's this girl at work with whom we've been flirting for a few months now. Finally she initiated to go for a friendly coffee where we had a really nice and...
A. 9 October 2011: Honestly? She isn't interested in you as a partner/bf - and I am being blunt. Every girl gets this kind of (stand at) attention at a young age and realizes what it means. She mustn't be interested if she if trying to cool down your ardor. ... (read in full...)
I've had a crush on her since 1981. Now that I've told her she has stopped contacting me
Q. Hi, I have a friend on Facebook. I have known since 1981. I have had a crush on all this time. The 20 years that I didn't talk to her, she was still on my mind. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, or ever will. So I wrote to her ...
A. 8 September 2011: Pretty hard to comment on. We don't know her marital status; or yours for that matter. We don't know your mutual relationship and it's history.
Notwithstanding, you wrote some sincere and heartfelt words on your part which were lovely.
Timef... (read in full...)
Just recently called me the wrong female name, twice. Is he cheating?
Q. Hello, My bf and I have been together for 3 years. We don't live together. Recently he's called me two different female names one was his exes name, the other was some name I've never heard of. He has no sisters nor anyone he works with by that name...
A. 4 September 2011: Is he stressed out or depressed/possibly a consideration if he is acting strangely or not remembering + calling you two different names. Perhaps a check up is in order?
... (read in full...)
We had sex while I have my period, is he disgusted with me now? And can I get pregnant when I was on my period?
Q. I had unprotected sex with my guy during the first day of my period .he's very afraid of blood and got turned of in the middle of it and then started acting weird. i didn't want to do it either but we are on a long dist. relationship and i feel he's ...
A. 4 September 2011: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chumming... (read in full...)
We had sex while I have my period, is he disgusted with me now? And can I get pregnant when I was on my period?
Q. I had unprotected sex with my guy during the first day of my period .he's very afraid of blood and got turned of in the middle of it and then started acting weird. i didn't want to do it either but we are on a long dist. relationship and i feel he's ...
A. 4 September 2011: I'm sorry... Chumming???? I have no problem discussing anything but CHUMMING???? You know, as women, we have enough issues about our bodies and our periods without using a term like CHUMMING to discuss our periods. Holy Honking Hell.
Yes. You ... (read in full...)
Sudden outbreak of acne at 25? Help!
Q. Hi cupids I know this isn't a relationship question but I just would like some advice about my skin. I have never had acne in my life until recently, I turned 25 a few months back and have heard this may have something to do with my recent outbreak...
A. 4 September 2011: Or even a good one... OMGLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
... (read in full...)
Sudden outbreak of acne at 25? Help!
Q. Hi cupids I know this isn't a relationship question but I just would like some advice about my skin. I have never had acne in my life until recently, I turned 25 a few months back and have heard this may have something to do with my recent outbreak...
A. 4 September 2011: This isn't a question for a bunch of agony aunts; it's a question for a dermatologist. Acne and other skin problems aren't limited to being a teenager. The fact is, people have skin problems all their life. All the more reason to find a goof ... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but he smells really badly. Do I tell him and ruin my potential for a relationship?
Q. Hey there. So my question is a little weird. For starters, I'm 17 and I'm dating one of my classmates (we're just seeing each other, we're not official or anything yet). We go on dates and hang out a lot and it's all really fun and I really like and ...
A. 3 September 2011: Forgot to edit out "he doesn't".... (read in full...)
I like this guy, but he smells really badly. Do I tell him and ruin my potential for a relationship?
Q. Hey there. So my question is a little weird. For starters, I'm 17 and I'm dating one of my classmates (we're just seeing each other, we're not official or anything yet). We go on dates and hang out a lot and it's all really fun and I really like and ...
A. 3 September 2011: If you are classmates, enlist the help of your teacher or a guidance counsellor. They are responsible adults and they actually have an obligation to try to help a student who might run the risk of potentially being ostracized because of a minor ... (read in full...)
I want my life back, but need help on how to do that?
Q. My last relationship ended just over a year ago - we where together on and off, for 5 years (since I was 16) and especially towards the end of the relationship, he was physically and mentally abusive. The last year we were together, we lived in ...
A. 3 September 2011: Remember back to when you were a kid; we never "dated" one-on-one at 12 or 13, we hung out in groups of boys and girls, right?
I think I would find some sports activity club or hobby group at the school to join and just let things evolve from ther... (read in full...)
He just stopped contacting me. Has he lost interest?
Q. I am a very confused girl and I would really appreciate peoples opinion on this, especially guys cos I don't know how your minds work. This guy and I got close, we had so much in common, we just seemed to connect. We hung out a few times but it...
A. 1 September 2011: I think it was just one of those things, and even if he liked you, it never really 'got off the ground'.
He probably decided that it with the move coming up, it wasn't going to be good idea to continue dating; having only just started. I'm sure... (read in full...)
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