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Tisha-1
writes:Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a little peek at Wikipedia today. Here’s what some preliminary searching unearthed…AphroditeApparently, Aphrodite was born from the sea foam near Cyprus after Cronus cut off Uranus’ genitals and threw them behind him into the sea and then went back to eat them! (Okay, now I’m thinking of becoming a vegetarian, and am now concerned with what could happen following a dip in the sea. And don’t lets get started on Uranus.)AthenaAthena was the daughter of Metis (a Titan) and Zeus. Zeus was concerned about a prophecy that said any offspring of this union would be greater than him, so he ate Metis to prevent her giving birth. She gave birth anyway, and Athena grew inside Zeus until finally springing forth from his forehead. (The vegetarian thing is looking better and better.)DionysusThere seem to be two versions of his birth. One is that Dionysus’ mother was Semele, a mortal woman, and his father was Zeus, the king of the gods. Zeus's wife, Hera discovered the affair while Semele was pregnant, and through trickery, convinced Semele to have Zeus reveal himself as a god. Naturally, a mortal cannot survive such an encounter, and Semele perished in the flames that ensued. Zeus rescued the fetal Dionysus and sewed him into his thigh, and thus went through an extremity pregnancy.The second version is that Dionysus was the son of Zeus and Persephone, the queen of the Greek underworld. Hera again attempted to kill the child, this time by sending Titans to rip Dionysus to pieces after tempting the baby with toys. Zeus drove the Titans away with his thunderbolts, but only after the Titans ate everything but the heart, which was preserved by one of the other immortals. Zeus either used the heart to recreate him in the womb of Semele, or he gave Semele the heart to eat to impregnate her.(That’s it, it’s official, I’m vegetarian!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Haha that has to be one of the best article's I've read. Thanks for posting :] nice one.
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reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 March 2008):
 Bah, who needs women, Ra (egyptian god) did not, he just masturbated two kids into existence.Then there is Isis, her husband (Osiris) gets cut up (by set because sets wife seduced a drunken Osiris, you still following?) but that doesn't stop her to find all the bits but one, can you guess which one?She sews him back together, attaches a fake phallus and proceeds to do what any woman would do when faced with her husbands rotting corpse with a dildo attached.9 months later, she has bears a child, Horus. So be carefull girls and put a condom on your toys.Ah but the tale is not yet finished. Horus grows up and wants revenge, but set wants more revenge as well and what better way to get revenge then fuck your enemies son right? But horus catches the semen in his hand and so does NOT become Sets bitch. Instead with the aid of his mommy he ejaculates and they pour it over Sets dinner. Voila, semen inside, you are the laughing stock, revenge complete.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2008): Thank you, Mandy for your fun comments. I so love your enthusiasm, you bubbliness--it just literally jumps off the screen and into our hearts. You know, we need that type of happiness to keep all us Aunties going, and plodding on giving positive, insightful advice to troubled hearts. Just keep being you. I so appreciate it. Cheers, sweety! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): Hunny
Your to funny, Im keeping away from meat for awhile and swimming im going to have to invest in more keybourds as its terrible difficult trying to clean sprayed coffee over them or refrain from drinking while reading this site much love to you hunny you always pop a smile on my face LOVE MANDY 7 GODDESS OF NASAL BIRTH OUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :}XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX And irish thanks hadnt read your reply but just did and keybourd wet yet again hun!!!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): ROFL You had my wife and I both laughing as I read it. It's official. You are a full member of the Nutty Brit Society. I'm surprised they didn't defeat us with humor (Oh, oh, sorry. HUMOUR You guys really have got to learn how to spell.) back in 1783. Nice research. Yeah, it's soy for protein for me from now on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Great fun, just loved it, bring me more!!!
take care
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Cutting off genitalia? Eating hearts? Springing forth from foreheads? So melodramatic. Really, how smart are these gods and godesses? Someone should've clued them into the proper way of impregnantion. I hear "swallowing sperm' does the trick??
(Hilarious and very informative article, Tisha..loved it! lol)
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reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 March 2008):
 I know after I gave birth it looked like I had carried them in my thighs!
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