Should I accompany my boyfriend, who will leave for another country for 13 months?
Q. Hi, Not sure if you can help me but I need some advice. I was married for 5 years and then divorced (married a bad man) anyway didn't think I would find someone so soon after but I did. I met my current BF 1 year after my divorce was final. Anywa...
A. 2 September 2013: You've got some great comments here, and I agree with the others that it partially depends how long you've been with him and how secure and established your relationship is. Because the one comment that struck me was that you said that an 'LDR is ... (read in full...)
Marriage stereotypes....
Q. After having heard some comments last night, and searching the web a bit for answers, I have this question, and would like to hear different inputs. The topic is marriage, and it appears to me that there are certain stereotypes out there. A...
A. 24 November 2011: Hi all, I couldn't resist adding a few comments... Firstly, I think that Odds made some very valid points there. Secondly, I'm a woman, and I don't see the 'point' of marriage for either gender, except for it being a rather nice idea..... (read in full...)
Should I create a bedroom for my 24 year old daughter or keep the study for myself in apartment?
Q. This might seem like a slightly odd question relating to family and home. My daughter is now 24 and has moved far away from home for 5 years now to be at Uni. She is very happy where she is living and it looks like she will stay there maybe for ...
A. 29 September 2011: Hey, I totally take the point that other aunts have made that you maintain/ create yourself a study area. I think you need a place to focus on yourself and your needs and ambitions. But I also think you've recognised that creating a room for your ... (read in full...)
My wife has told me she is disappointed in the way I proposed to her
Q. Hi I proposed to my now-wife a year before we got married. When I asked her, she started to cry, but not because of joy. She said yes, when I repeated the question. Later I found out, that she is very disappointed by the way I asked. We now are marr...
A. 25 September 2011: For what it's worth- I think that she's being a bit precious about this. She has no 'right' to demand that someone surprises her is a certain way. You're not a puppet and she can't create a screenplay for the future husband and she time pla... (read in full...)
My mother can't afford the wedding, my b/f's family can but won't help!
Q. Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the ...
A. 22 September 2011: One idea occurred to me that I understand that weddings can actually be much cheaper in different countries. For example, a work colleague once explained that they'd found it far cheaper to host their wedding in Spain than in the UK, and that doing ... (read in full...)
Why do girls say they want a nice guy, when we all know that is a load of crap?
Q. The past 5 girls i have talked to, i have asked them the same question. What qualities do you like best in a man? Amazingly they all said as long as hes nice idk...... really? i have people tell me i am too nice , that im the nicest guy they ever ...
A. 9 September 2011: Ok. Firstly, and I can't stress this point enough: Not all women want the same thing. We are all different?! Some girls want nice men. Some girls put a lot more thought and effort into figuring out what they want in a man. Being 'nice' is such... (read in full...)
Is going on a work retreat acceptable without a spouse?
Q. Hi - Thank you for taking the time to read my post. My husband’s work has an annual retreat for 4 days and it has been stated, “Spouses are not welcome.” Would this bother anyone else? My husband and I are having a lot of issues as is - this ...
A. 5 September 2011: I dislike it when work expect to monopolise your free time. And so does my partner. Especially when they aren't even including the invite to partners; and your follow up confirms that this has lost a few people from attending the event already. -And ... (read in full...)
Contacted by my first years later, and he wants me to behave like a whore
Q. I am 55 yrs. old. Out of the blue and old boyfriend of mine from high school, contacted via facebook..He was my first. I was 17 years old and was what i thought was true love. I was inexperienced and scared back then. Throghout many years I have ...
A. 24 August 2011: I think the answers that you've received so far are testament to what a lovely person you are. You're posted about an affair with a married man and no one has taken offence at this. I actually think that the issues arising here might be a bless... (read in full...)
My BF hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his birthday and intends disappearing on that day and turning his phone off!
Q. So i recently learned my bf hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his bday. I had planned to spend the entire day with him and his family and he shocked me by saying he was gonna disappear on everyone that day because he wants that day ...
A. 24 August 2011: Aww, that's ace news! -Thank you for posting the follow up, it's great to hear that it all worked out for you!
It could well be self esteem issues; and that self conscious 'please don't make a fuss!' attitude and 'no one will want to come!' r... (read in full...)
My BF hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his birthday and intends disappearing on that day and turning his phone off!
Q. So i recently learned my bf hates the fact that people try to make a fuss about his bday. I had planned to spend the entire day with him and his family and he shocked me by saying he was gonna disappear on everyone that day because he wants that day ...
A. 11 August 2011: There are two answers here. There's the philosophical understanding one, but then there's the gut feeling- 'what a shame!' reaction that anyone would instinctively feel. However, when you stand back impartially- which is nigh on impossible in th... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 27 July 2011:
Ok...
If one woman complains about one thing, and another woman does exactly the opposite, that's not hypocrisy; that’s TWO DIFFERENT WOMEN!
And, d'ya know- there are a lot more than two different women out there...!
How many times have... (read in full...)
He's put me down and I want to show him I'm improved...should I show him a picture of my new living space?
Q. I met a guy not too long ago whom I thought was really nice and cool. He was very sweet at first, and came on very strong (falling for me hard within a couple of weeks). He eventually changed, and started putting down my apartment (it wasn't the ...
A. 11 May 2011: That's so silly that he got angry because you hadn't had time to tidy up!
Couple of great fridge magnets with funny slogans for you;
'My other house is tidier' and 'You can touch the dust, but please don't write in it'.
He sounds so boring! ... (read in full...)
Should I admit to snooping on my boyfriend's facebook? Or keep lying until he confesses?
Q. I have a big problem. I snooped in my bf's facebook, as i know his password e.t.c, and i saw some chat boxes come up saying the names of some girls that we have argued over before. when i clicked on the boxes, there wasnt any text there, but i'm ...
A. 17 February 2011: Hmm, I think the actual 'facebook snooping' reference is really just a symptom here.
The actual issues were;
-He was talking to other girls behind your back and lying to you about it.
-You didn't trust him.
-You went behind his back to back ... (read in full...)
I gave him a party for his 50th... he gave me a card for mine and I'm so hurt!
Q. I gave my husband a party for his 50th birthday, he handed me a card for mine, I am hurt (we can afford a party)and I can't get over it, help? ...
A. 16 February 2011: You poor love.
I read this question dimly thinking up excuses for him... 'maybe he thought you might be sensitive about your turning 50' (Not that you should be!)
But reading your follow up- he basically ruined your 50th birthday to 'get... (read in full...)
I've been love sick for 14 months should I crash the wedding?
Q. How do I get myself out of the dumps of my gloating selfpity for passing the love of my life by? This is doomsday for me but the wedding day for her? Should I crash the wedding and vow my love to her to be my wife. It's been 14 mos that I was a ...
A. 3 January 2011:
All the other aunts have already commented in detail on the obvious drama and disaster liable to be caused from crashing their wedding. (Don't forget that it's not just her wedding, but is equally her fiance's big day too).
Huge amount of ex... (read in full...)
He wants to end our affair and be best friends. I work with him!
Q. Hi I have been in a relationship with a married co-worker for 18 months. We started off as friends and our relationship developed into love over a period of months. We have had many special times together and I love this man more than anyone I ha...
A. 30 December 2010: Maybe you need to think about what you really want? Ask yourself the following questions; 1. Do you want to be with him not? No halfway adulterous sitting-on-the-fence answers. Simply; yes or no? -Is he worth hurting and leaving your who... (read in full...)
When you cheat does it mean you really don't love your partner anymore?
Q. hi i just have a very simple question, i have been with my bf for 4 years now but i have recentley cheated on him for the first time ever and i am very confused about my feelings but i just wanted to know: when you cheat, does it really mean that ...
A. 14 December 2010: CindyCares, you makes a really good point, and I think you're absolutely right.
It's so easy just to assume that you love someone simply because things are running smoothly and there are no obstacles or challenges. Its with the test of time, of... (read in full...)
When you cheat does it mean you really don't love your partner anymore?
Q. hi i just have a very simple question, i have been with my bf for 4 years now but i have recentley cheated on him for the first time ever and i am very confused about my feelings but i just wanted to know: when you cheat, does it really mean that ...
A. 14 December 2010: I think that I have a stricter view of this than most of the other posters.
If you love someone, you don't cheat.
If you love someone, you don't have to ask.
Think of the situation in reverse. Your partner cheats on you, and then posts on a... (read in full...)
How can I seduce a married lady
Q. i m a 26 yrs old guy..........i m havng affair with a 34 yr old married lady.....she has thre kids.....her husband is 50 yrs of age..how can i convince her for sex ......or seduce her.........as she doesnt like her husband.just with her for sake of ...
A. 29 November 2010: Well, presuming that your parents were/ are still together- how would you have advised a man 12 years younger than your mum that had wanted to corrupt her into cheating on her marriage to your father when you were much younger?
Failing that, im... (read in full...)
How to avoid being used financially
Q. I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
A. 22 November 2010: Just to throw the cat amongst the pigeons...
I’m not advocating to lend money to anyone if you aren’t very close to them and if you don’t trust them- and it might be unwise to lend such a significant amount that you’d be in a pickle if it wasn’t r... (read in full...)
What should a guy's confidence be based on if it's confidence itself that actually matters?
Q. Good looking women go with rich, famous, and good looking men, right? To me, there appears to be a hierarchy of men because of this. The less rich, manly, and successful, the less attractive you are to women (let's just use the 'best looking women' ...
A. 14 November 2010: Hmm... Okay- I appreciate that there are female traits and male traits; that genders are broadly wired in different trends... But, women are as different from one another as men are from each other. And you sound like you expect a formula which ... (read in full...)
What should a guy's confidence be based on if it's confidence itself that actually matters?
Q. Good looking women go with rich, famous, and good looking men, right? To me, there appears to be a hierarchy of men because of this. The less rich, manly, and successful, the less attractive you are to women (let's just use the 'best looking women' ...
A. 10 November 2010: I don't get it...
'Good looking women go with rich, famous, and good looking men, right? To me, there appears to be a hierarchy of men because of this.'
But... you're asking how you can get a 'good looking' woman, right?? So... you're presuming... (read in full...)
I feel he is getting an easy ride ...
Q. My partner has been living with me full time for a year now and he pays me £400 a month for his keep. My living expenses probably amount to about £1,500 a month and I am now feeling that he is getting an easy ride with what he gives me. Apar...
A. 9 November 2010: Ouch- that makes it all rather painful in light of how much your partner is earning!
I think you're right- show him the books and make it clear that (within reason) you need to split everything 50:50. Are you also on a similar wage to him yourself... (read in full...)
Think before you jump, because there might be a good reason
Q. Okay so this valentines was the first one for my bf and I. I've known him for years but we only got together 10 months ago and I was determined to make it special. So valentines week comes around and he's having serious money problems (as was I to...
A. 25 October 2010: I just stumbled on this article out of the blue, but it made me think.
Valentines Day is a bone of contention for me since I can't decide where I stand on it!
On the face of it, I think it's ever such a cute idea, but obviously when one partner... (read in full...)
Husband is acting like a child. I need help with the 4 kids!
Q. ok. let me start by saying im 27 and my husband is 49. he works as mngmnt in meat dept and i am stay at home mom of 3 kids all under 4. my husband and i havnt made love in 9 months. he either sleeps or works outside for hours after he gets home and ...
A. 21 October 2010: If you have no rent to pay at all, then perhaps his full time wage would stretch to pay a cleaner for just one or two hours a week? I could make your life just that extra jump easier- and the extra time you get could give you a little extra tim... (read in full...)
Complicated and hurtful family mess
Q. I feel really stupid writing about this, but I would like to get other people's takes on this situation. My 29 year old daughter is "re-marrying" her husband of 10 years. I haven't spoken to either of them in over a year because last year I was ...
A. 14 October 2010: Your story has absolutely shocked me. You poor honey!
What your daughter (and her husband) did to you was absolutely horrendous.
Daughter or no, I think you need both time help to heal from such a traumatic situation. Even just hearing about th... (read in full...)
Am I destined to die alone?
Q. I am a 25 year old architect who has reached utter despair in the quest of finding that special lady to grow old together... This sentence sums up my life quite well however; the reason I am writing is due to the fact that I have not been with ...
A. 14 October 2010:
Oh my, what a small world!
It's a tough career choice and if you're working for a world renowned practice- that's very impressive!
It's an unfortunate affliction of the subject that there are disadvantages with spending so many hours g... (read in full...)
Childfree dating - what the hell am I supposed to do??
Q. Genuinely trying to find some SENSIBLE advice from people. This does NOT mean I want advice that just backs me up on my point of view! The basic thing is this. I am 36. I don't want children. I never have done, never will. I have a god daugh...
A. 13 September 2010: Hi OP,
I grew up of the 'undecided' ilk when it came to kids. Since getting together with a serious partner that doesn't want kids, I've now come to accept that I will most likely to never have kids. My sister and her husband have also decided ... (read in full...)
Guys: How beautiful would a girl have to be for you to cheat with her?
Q. They say that a guy may not purposely go out to find someone to cheat with, but that if someone latches on to THEM, they would be willing to cheat. Guys, how beautiful would a girl have to be in order to get you to cheat on your significant other ...
A. 12 September 2010:
Actually, I had a guy approach me on my way home tonight, very drunk. He rambled on telling me how gorgeous I was and I said thank you very much and wished him a good night whilst stepping away. He carried on rambling 'If I was single, I'd take... (read in full...)
Should I be friend with my ex on facebook?
Q. I am attached now. And the previous guy who have betrayed me in a relationship broke up now and wanted to be just friends with me. I don't know if I should be forgiving and accept him as a friend in my facebook again?...
A. 7 September 2010: Clicking 'accept' on facebook is not actually the same as maintaining a real friendship. It does however, allow him to keep an on some of your social activities and photos.
If you want to maintain a real friendship with him, then email, phone, t... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend wont change his facebook status to "in a relationship"
Q. Living in this era everyone who is in a relationship would like to put their relationship status as in the relationship with your partner right? I have been with my boyfriend for 6months now and whenever I ask him to declare as "in a relationsh...
A. 31 August 2010: I'm inclined to say that if there is nothing else to make you think that there is any issue in the relationship, then this really doesn't matter two hoots. I never want to label myself 'in a relationship' on facebook for the fear of one day having ... (read in full...)
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