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... Send *amatjira a private message | | | *amatjira's profile:While I have attended counselling courses in the past I forgot most of it when I went through my own challenges. Somehow the theory seemed inadequate.
I have been married and divorced several times, have travelled a lot, while usually a positive upbeat personality I have also experienced depression first hand and I know what rejection and having your heart broken feels like.
Life goes on. I am now single, writing another book, learning another language, and keeping my eyes open for that magical princess who will capture my heart. And yes I do believe in love at first sight and fairy stories.
I am old enough to have learned a few lessons and young enough to make some more mistakes.
C'est la vie |
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I get depressed about my "small" boobs...
Q. im 18 and just wondering if my boobs will grow anymore or if im gonna have to wait till i have kids or the next stage of my life? im a size. 12A sometimes 10A and i feel like i have the body of a 14 year old. i was a late developer didnt get my p...
A. 16 June 2008: Some interesting comments by the other posters. First of all, while I cannot give you any advice from a woman's perspective I can from the point of view of a guy and one who has 4 daughters, three sisters and lots of nieces.
Let me set your min... (read in full...)
Why has my husband got a secret lock code on his phone?
Q. Can anyone tell me what could be the reason for my husband having a secret lock code in his cell. He cheated on me once and could this be he cheating me still? Do any of your husbands or you yourself do as such? When he was cheating on me the same...
A. 15 June 2008: Hi again.
Clearly you still have major trust issues with your husband so I am guessing that his cheating on you was recent. If you think he will always cheat on you, why do you stay with him? Have you asked him about the code and why you cannot h... (read in full...)
Why has my husband got a secret lock code on his phone?
Q. Can anyone tell me what could be the reason for my husband having a secret lock code in his cell. He cheated on me once and could this be he cheating me still? Do any of your husbands or you yourself do as such? When he was cheating on me the same...
A. 14 June 2008: It depends on the phone but some phones use a code just to stop a person from accidentally dialling a number while it is in a packet or bag. It is quite common really so taken by itself I would not attach any importance to it. But, if you have other ... (read in full...)
Should I get revenge?
Q. The boy I was inlove with in my past. Is now that one I offically hate. He cheated on his girlfriend with me, and now I feel as if I should use it has revenge to get back at him. I know this would probably ruin his whole life, and I don't want to ...
A. 14 June 2008: I think you need to carefully think about your motives. Are you hoping that if you tell her, she will dump him and he can be yours? Perhaps you just want to hurt him because he hurt you? Maybe there are other reasons.
While owning up is a good thi... (read in full...)
Job interview: what to wear and what to say
Q. Hi, I know this isnt a relationship question but i really need some advice! I have a job interview on Wednesday and its my first ever interview so i want to know what would be good things to say and what kind of clothes to wear? I really want this ...
A. 23 May 2008: Congratulations.... (read in full...)
Job interview: what to wear and what to say
Q. Hi, I know this isnt a relationship question but i really need some advice! I have a job interview on Wednesday and its my first ever interview so i want to know what would be good things to say and what kind of clothes to wear? I really want this ...
A. 18 May 2008: Dress smart, and just slightly conservative. By that I mean do not wear the latest trendy hot fashion but by all means look up to date.
Use carefully applied makeup that accentuates rather than exaggerates. Just a faint splash of perfume. Make sur... (read in full...)
I've trouble finding a boyfriend - what am I doing wrong?
Q. I have the worst trouble finding a boyfriend. I am almost 21 and still single (yeah very pathetic hahaha!) I just want to know what I'm doing wrong. I can be shy but I'm not as shy as I used to be. Is there any fool proof ways to get a guy? And is...
A. 11 May 2008: The other advice given is really good, but I also think you should be cautious in your attitudes to feeling desperate for a BF. Unfortunately there are guys out there who if they think you are desperate will try to manipulate and control you and ... (read in full...)
How do women masturbate and orgasm?
Q. How do women masturbate and make themselves orgasm? I have tried once (by fingering myself) and it did absolutely nothing for me! It was just gross and I had to wash my hands afterwards... I have heard you have to touch the clitoris but I cant ...
A. 10 May 2008: Hi,
While I am not a woman and so cannot give you specific advice, I can tell you that first you do really need to explore yourself. You need to know every curve and fold inside and out. Every woman is a little different down there and you need... (read in full...)
I see the number 69 everywhere. Is it trying to tell me something? Is it a sign?
Q. hey, i was wondering if anyone could give me an answer to my question... basically, everywhere i go, i keep seeing these signs for things. not as in road signs, as in everywhere i go, i see the number 69..ok it might be nothing and im just noti...
A. 4 May 2008: Personally I do not believe in signs, but when we see something that makes us think it is a sign, then maybe it is our sub-conscious telling us about something or to do something.
Look inside yourself and I think you will find the answer.... (read in full...)
I can't get/keep an erection -any ideas?
Q. Hey i usely have sex with my grilriend about four times a week, on two seperate days. im really attracted to her and her body arrouses me but i can't get/keep an errection. we do foreplay and is fun for her but not so much for me as: 1. its quit...
A. 4 May 2008: Do not worry too much about it. You are still young and your body is still changing.
The other thing to consider is that a man can only come so many times in a short number of days (it varies with each man, but there is a limit) before the body... (read in full...)
My husband likes porn and I cant help but notice that the women in the porn he masturbates over always look very different to me?
Q. I have read a lot of the questions and answers on here about porn and there is some interesting reading for sure but I have a question...my husband likes porn and I cant help but notice that the women in the porn he masturbates over always look very ...
A. 4 May 2008: This is not an easy question to answer and I am sure that there are many views on this.
First of all, how do you feel that your husband regards you? Do you think he loves you and does he show it? When you are being intimate together do you feel... (read in full...)
Is he cheating? Do I confront him? Please help!!
Q. Ok, I will start from beginning. I have been with my partner coming up to one year. He has never given me reason not to trust him. About 6 months ago, he went away and gave me his email password so I could check it for him. I have never snooped. N...
A. 28 April 2008: I think you need to really think about whether you want to be with him or not. Personally if I was in your shoes I would be out of there. There is no explanation that he can give you that won't leave him either like a sleaze or a love rat. And ... (read in full...)
Why does the fact that I have big boobs make guys assume they can treat me like a slut?
Q. Hi Im 16 and am a 5"3 size 8-10, very curvy, G chested female. I have always hated my figure so thats nothing new, but recently I've felt particularly shite because everytime I go out to enjoy myself around people my own age, for instance at part...
A. 27 April 2008: Hi,
First let me apologise on behalf of all the other guys. You do not deserve this and they are complete idiots.
Second, I think the best defence is a good offence. Let me explain. Think of women you know (either personally or celebrities) who... (read in full...)
Is it okay to date or have a sexual relationship with your cousin?
Q. I haven't seen my second cousin in 28 years and she a complete knock out. I asked her if she wanted to do lunch and she accepted. We did lunch. I'm just not sure if it's okay to continue this fraternizing. We talk a lot with each other. We have good ...
A. 26 April 2008: I think that it is likely that you are mistaking being friends with a family member with more romantic possibilities.
My advice ...
Wait. Just be you and do not try to pretend. If she is attracted to you then she will let you know. But if you... (read in full...)
Dating step uncle right or wrong?
Q. I have a freind who is dating her step uncle, they are not related by blood at all, but is it right? because i feel i should advise my freind on this!...
A. 17 April 2008: Provided neither of them are in other relationships I don't see the problem... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's neediness is smothering me, how can I tell her without being coldhearted?
Q. Hello there…. Help! Please! Some background…. I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months, we have lived together for the last 6, up until then it was great. I do love her; she is the sweetest person I have ever met. I have never cheated on her a...
A. 16 April 2008: Hi,
It is clear that she has trust issues and a fear of being hurt. Maybe she was badly hurt in the past or her childhood was so uncertain that she feels you are her emotional rock.
I would strongly suggest that you should both attend relations... (read in full...)
I don't think my girlfriend is comfortable with my new facial scars!
Q. Hey, I'm just a bit unsure of what to do here. Bit of background, I've been in the army for 3 years now, I went on overseas deployment and ended up getting wounded and coming home early. I now have some bad scaring on my face. I know it doesn't ...
A. 16 April 2008: I suspect that she is more concerned about how you are coping with it and how she can best support you. While some women are more concerned with appearance than looks, generally it is the other way around.
Have you ever noticed that often people h... (read in full...)
It haunts me a lot, the idea that my girlfriend has slept with other men...
Q. I still have a problem accepting the fact that my girlfriend has slept with other men. Three others to be exact. Now, I do not judge her for it. It does not change the fact that I love her. It just hurts sometimes, like if I see a picture of one ...
A. 16 April 2008: Life is what it is. Nobody makes the right choices all the time and you would want her to cut you some slack for "your past" so why shouldn't you do the same for her. Get over it because it will only poison your feelings for her. Everybody has ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does drugs and tells me I need to deal with it!...
Q. So my boyfriend is a very big pothead, and I can't stand smoking weed. I have told him several times how I feel about it and I'm not asking him to stop altogether, I just want him to not do it everyday like he does now. It's senseless and he always ...
A. 16 April 2008: Only if you leave him will he truly face the choice of lose the drugs or lose you. As an addict he will not believe a threat to leave but only you actually leaving. If he then leaves the drugs, you are better off and can consider getting back with ... (read in full...)
A one night stand - should I give him a call?
Q. I recently had a one night stand with a man I met at a bar. We were both very drunk. To be quite honest he didn't even know my name until we were finished and I told him what it was. We didn't exchange numbers. Just as I left he said 'call me ...
A. 15 April 2008: If you were both very drunk then it is likely that you did not exchange enough information to really know about each other's situation.
Calling him may be a big mistake and open up things that should just be left alone.
I would suggest that you... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with being treated as though I were a child!
Q. OK so I'm looking for advice on how to explain to my parents that I'm not a child, it's a strange question, and has nothing to do with a relationship, but just bear with me please. I'm almost 18, I'm in the army, I've finished highschool, and ...
A. 15 April 2008: Hey, I am old enough to be your father and yet my own parents in their 70's still treat me like a child. There is really nothing you can do about this other than to accept that is how they are, be confident in you own decisions, and live your own ... (read in full...)
I moved to his country to save our marriage, it's very hard to manage since I don't know the language, what should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, ok, i am in france with my husband for the last three months, he is french, anyhow, for the last three months i have not been working as i am trying to learn the language. However cant get work as you need fluent french for any type of ...
A. 15 April 2008: Hi,
First - do you still want to save your marriage or are you looking for some support for giving up?
I do not mean to be harsh, but you must really understand within yourself what the real motivations are. It is less important for us... (read in full...)
I can't keep our sex life exciting? It's hard to get aroused...
Q. Me and my boyfriend been together for three years we are so in love but its hard for me to get horny its no problems between us and i dont want noone but him and he feels the same please someone help me so i can keep our sex life exciting?...
A. 15 April 2008: Hi,
It sounds as though maybe things have become too routine and so it is not getting you going. If this is true, be careful. Many people at this point thing that maybe if they really spiced things up with some more extreme sexual behaviou... (read in full...)
I'm annoyed that women flirt with my boyfriend, how can I handle this?
Q. i am jealous about my boyfriend and same as others it is making problems now and we might break up... i am trying to stop that and sometimes it works great. my question: i am sitting in a restaurant for example with him and suddenly a woman...
A. 14 April 2008: Hi,
You must be a lucky woman to have a guy that attracts this kind of attention. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to stop it. If a woman wants to flirt with him she can, however he should make sure that he does not flirt back.
You, we... (read in full...)
I'm scared people will think badly of me when I tell them I have been raped...
Q. This is for the guys......Would you not want to be with a girl because she had been raped because she is in a sense "used"?? I have a hard time deciding whether i should tell people this because I'm scared they'll think badly of me............
A. 14 April 2008: Hi,
Any man who would think badly of you for something you had no control over is not really a man.
No I would not think badly of you and would myself get angry at any man who did. In this life sometimes really bad things happen to really... (read in full...)
Will he get in trouble?
Q. I am 16 years old. The man that I am in love with is 27. I live in the state of Maine and it said I could be/do anything with anyone over the age of 21 with parental consent. But he is still concerend that he can end up in jail. Can he still go to ...
A. 14 April 2008: According to the Maine statutes it is not an offence provided you are 16 unless he is your teacher in which case you must be 18.
Do a search on Google for the phrase "age of consent in maine" and you will find plenty of references to assist. ... (read in full...)
If he accepts to go together to the cinema, does he implicitly accept to be my BF???...
Q. I was wondering...If you ask a guy out to the movies and he's 13,will he then(once he's said yes) accept you as a gf. Because i could pluck up the courage to try it,but he might not think of me as his gf and simply GET ANOTHER GF. Are guys rea...
A. 13 April 2008: There is a difference between going on a date to the cinema or anywhere else, and in being boyfriend and girlfriend. When I was younger we called a date a date but several dates was "going steady" and that was being boyfriend and girlfriend. Back ... (read in full...)
I want him to tell his ex about us., whereas he says he doesn't want to hurt her. Should I be suspicious?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for 4 months. He was with someone when we met but finished their relationship to be with me. His ex now has been texting him daily, and he has been replying. After a secret quick inspection of his phone I found out ...
A. 13 April 2008: Hi,
You need to tell him that his behaviour and unwillingness to discuss it is causing you to mistrust him. You don't want to but that it all looks like he either has something to hide or is hiding his relationship with you.
No matter what the ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to meet new folk and make friends at university?
Q. Hi. Im off to university in September to study history and am feeling a bit anxious and nervous about making friends. I've had a bit of a bad time growing up and was severely bullied all the way through high school. After highschool rather than ...
A. 13 April 2008: Hi,
Yours is not an uncommon situation, but you have one great advantage in dealing with this. You have become successful at what you do. The critical factor in making friends and resisting bullying is often self-image and confidence. Bullies ... (read in full...)
He said that 'Vizen' eye-drops would cure it and I would not get pregnant?
Q. Well the other day me and my boyfriend had sex and he was drunk, so when he ask me where i wanted him to cum, i told him my stomach, but he ask me if he could inside of me, and i said that i wasn't ready for a baby just yet. He agreed with me but i ...
A. 10 April 2008: As you are 19 and legally an adult, your parents do not have the right to go through you stuff. Either you should get some advice as to how to deal with this invasion of privacy formally, or you should try and move out as soon as you can.
... (read in full...)
He's 41 I'm nearly 18, but we're two worlds apart. How can I fix this?
Q. I have a 41 year old boyfriend and i'm 17(almost 18). Is this too big of a difference?? What should I do?? It's only 23 years, but he's so much smarter than i am about the world and much more experienced. How can I fix this '2 different worlds' ...
A. 9 April 2008: Hi,
It is not so much the age difference as the fact of your youth. If you were both even 5 or 10 years older it would be less of a potential problem Let me explain.
You at nearly 18 still have a number of years maturing to do. During this time... (read in full...)
He said that 'Vizen' eye-drops would cure it and I would not get pregnant?
Q. Well the other day me and my boyfriend had sex and he was drunk, so when he ask me where i wanted him to cum, i told him my stomach, but he ask me if he could inside of me, and i said that i wasn't ready for a baby just yet. He agreed with me but i ...
A. 9 April 2008: I have never heard of that one and seriously doubt that it would help. There are several "morning-after" pills but they are only effective for a very limited time. You need to get medical advice (or a pharmacist could help) as soon as possible and ... (read in full...)
I met a wonderful older man! He is a sex offender but I don't judge him! What do you think?
Q. I recently started seeing a man somewhat older than me. So far, I find him wonderful! We enjoy each others company, we share the same values and ideals, we are both happily independent. He is an absolute gentleman, very well read, and very ...
A. 9 April 2008: Hi,
Well first of all congratulations for not screaming and running away. The registered sex offenders list in both the UK and the USA is a very blunt instrument that does not distinguish much between different types of offences.
Secondly, he ... (read in full...)
Should I ask if we could get a double room or not?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I need your advice again please. It is not really a problem but a question as to how you would feel in this situation. OK so my boyfriend (18) and i (20) are planning to go on holiday this summer. I have no idea where as he sa...
A. 8 April 2008: Why not ask him how would he feel if you shared a room but did not have sex. It is easy to go from no expectation of a sexual relationship to one that includes it but to go the other way is hard.
And you pack the condoms etc.... (read in full...)
She's now married with kids, but She said when she comes into town we could have sex.
Q. I've known this girl for about 8 yrs, I've had feelings for her for about 8 yrs as well. She too has feelings for me, unfortunately we had lost contact at one point in time, and she ended up with someone else. She is now married with kids. She move...
A. 7 April 2008: If you do have feelings for her and want her to be happy, then you will not have sex with her while she is in another relationship. It does not matter how badly things might be going, she is still off limits as far as what she has suggested.
You w... (read in full...)
I need to change myself or I will destroy this relationship for good!
Q. Hi I know this question has been asked many times, but I still have to ask ... I dont know what to do with myself. I am pretty jealous and I really don't want to be, cause I have the feeling I will destroy the whole relationship if I dont sto...
A. 4 April 2008: Have you been like this with previous boyfriends? Was there some event in the past that gave you reason to lose trust (in him or anyone else)?
Before you can fix it you have to understand where it came from. What you describe is called "a self def... (read in full...)
How do we regain that lost friendship so that everything else can fall into place to regain that bond?
Q. How do we regain that lost friendship so that everything else can fall into place to regain that bond? We have been together for two years and three months, very young relationship but have been through a lot together. Living together, we sha...
A. 4 April 2008: Hi,
At least you have been able to work out what has changed and the path that led there. Just consider the novel idea that you do not have to regain something that was lost. Imagine yourselves getting to know each other for the first time aga... (read in full...)
How could he fancy me, when everyone says I'm ugly?
Q. in the past ive been told by most people that im ugly and i believe them. ive got a horrible face, a huge nose, horrible eyebrows n im fat too. but now there is 1 lad (who is a lil older than me) who texts me a lot and tells me he thinks im gorgeous ...
A. 4 April 2008: First of all I think nearly every person in the world at your age thinks they do not look good. It is a normal part of growing up and the fact that your body and personality are going through big changes. So with that in mind I think you need to ... (read in full...)
Have been involved with my boss, now he promoted me his personal assisstant, does this mean he wants more?
Q. I really don’t know what to do….. recently (in the past week) I had ‘relations’ with my boss…. Today, I got promoted to his ‘personal assistant’, and that means that I’m in his office 24/7, running errands for him and in contact at all times… hes a ...
A. 4 April 2008: It could be unrelated, however having a relationship however short with your boss or an employee is not a good idea and can lead to all sorts of complications.
If I were you I would have a conversation with him to try and find out if your promotio... (read in full...)
My friend told me that guy just wanted sex, could that be true??
Q. Hello I met a guy last month. He's charming. He invited me to his home twice. And he's trying to get something more. I really like him. But I don't want to have sex with him since I am not ready. Recently, he became cold and seems to keep distan...
A. 4 April 2008: Quite likely and the fact that you did not offer it too him or take his hints may be the reason why he has become more distant and cold.
Put him behind you and keep on enjoying life. There are plenty of guys out there who will respect your lim... (read in full...)
How do we regain that lost friendship so that everything else can fall into place to regain that bond?
Q. How do we regain that lost friendship so that everything else can fall into place to regain that bond? We have been together for two years and three months, very young relationship but have been through a lot together. Living together, we sha...
A. 2 April 2008: Do you know the point at which it changed and the special quality was lost? If not you will have to do some soul searching to try and work this bit out because if you cannot figure out what went wrong then it is really hard to repair it.
All t... (read in full...)
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