I think I am straight but hate that I am emotionally attracted to men also.
Q. I wrote in originally at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-am-a-male-and-hate-that-i.html but I'll clear up a few things for you to make it more specific: I'm emotionally and sexually attracted to women - normally, anyway, have dated women al...
A. 2 September 2013: I think we can all say that we in some way or another are capable of being attracted to the same sex. It may be like you are saying, just emotionally. That doesn't mean that you are bisexual/gay. One of the leading factors of being gay is that you ... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: And I'm sorry, I meant to state in the first sentence that it isn't the case. :)... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldn't he want to be intimate more often?
Q. My husband and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary in October. We have been together for 6 years and have two beautiful but trying daughters. This weekend we had a huge fight and when I confronted him about the fact that he doesn't ...
A. 2 September 2013: As much as society would like us to think men are just sex machines who are ready at a drop of a dime to sex us up, its the case. Love and sex go hand in hand, so I can understand why it is so frustrating when the partner you love isn't willing to ... (read in full...)
Torn between the girl leaving for university, and the local one.
Q. I'm not sure what to do, I'm in a boat I've never been before. I've been getting close to a friend of mine all summer, we both knew she was moving away to university 200 miles away and I gave her the option of either making things a proper relatio...
A. 2 September 2013: It appears as if your body has already answered the question for you. You already slept with the local girl, right? The act of betrayal (whether the feeling legitimate or not) has already been done. The trust has already been broken, and you have ... (read in full...)
Is it a red flag when a 55 year old man has lots of female friends young enough to be his daughters?
Q. Hello. I am 35yrs female (single). I am dating a guy who is 55yrs old (divorced). I like him very much and we are taking our time knowing each other. There is not intimacy between us yet and I like the way he respect it and we share quality time and...
A. 2 September 2013: Whenever I hear of an older man/woman not only surrounded by people significantly younger than they are, but also prefer it, I can't help but think it reflects on the older person. I think it hints that the individual is afraid to be the age they ... (read in full...)
Why is it so hard to let our first loves go...?
Q. Hello im going thru some crazy times, but im sure a lot of other people are too. I just wanna know why is it soo hard to let our first loves go? He says he will go if thats wat I want and i cant give him a straight answer. I know we cant work ...
A. 10 December 2010: I was on the same boat you are, and I think everyone has gone through this before. It's really hard, I know, but you have to believe me when I say that there are better loves out there for you that you have yet to find.
If you really know dee... (read in full...)
Could this breakup be the space she needed?
Q. Please help. My girlfriend all of the sudden started to miss her ex which led to some distant behavior. I started asking what's wrong and she just got irritated but I could tell something was up. So she calls me tells me she misses him because they ...
A. 10 December 2010: I personally wouldn't even ask if you two should talk when she comes over to pick up her things. I would just hand her the stuff AT the door, and close it. If she wants to talk, she'll say so. This way it gives her a less of a chance to be rude and ... (read in full...)
Can I date more than one guy at a time? Or is it wrong?
Q. So I have been dating this guy for about 7 months and while I adore him, we had a discussion and he said he was not ready to commit to me, so I began to date other people. He s 38 and I'm 25, he's white and I'm black, he has a very supportive ...
A. 10 December 2010: Well, I would say that you need to step back then if you feel you have to lie. Lying is never a good thing, especially when it comes to dating. If the first guy keeps asking "where you're at", then just respond 'on a date, talk to you later'. That's ... (read in full...)
Could this breakup be the space she needed?
Q. Please help. My girlfriend all of the sudden started to miss her ex which led to some distant behavior. I started asking what's wrong and she just got irritated but I could tell something was up. So she calls me tells me she misses him because they ...
A. 10 December 2010: I wouldn't text her or anything. You are done trying, because it is HER turn to prove that she wants anything to do with you.
When she shows up for her stuff, just hand it to her and show her the door. Don't let her bait you with snide remarks ... (read in full...)
Can I date more than one guy at a time? Or is it wrong?
Q. So I have been dating this guy for about 7 months and while I adore him, we had a discussion and he said he was not ready to commit to me, so I began to date other people. He s 38 and I'm 25, he's white and I'm black, he has a very supportive ...
A. 10 December 2010: I think you are a hundred percent in your right to do what you're doing. As long as you haven't told either of these guys that you are in a committed relationship with them, then all you're doing is seeing other people. The first guy said that he ... (read in full...)
I have needs that my wife isn't meeting!
Q. I have been married for almost 5 years, a while back my wife and I stopped having sex as much (maybe once or twice a month) she has never had an orgasm (in her life) so I assume that is part of the reason and she just do no be in the mood. Once the ...
A. 10 December 2010: There are many steps and answers that you can go through in order to attempt to fix this marriage.
First off. Sex is really important in a relationship, especially when it comes to marriage. True it isn't the only important factor, but it's som... (read in full...)
Could this breakup be the space she needed?
Q. Please help. My girlfriend all of the sudden started to miss her ex which led to some distant behavior. I started asking what's wrong and she just got irritated but I could tell something was up. So she calls me tells me she misses him because they ...
A. 10 December 2010: It sounds like she has had doubts about the relationship in the first place, and is using these feelings for her ex as an excuse to break things off with you. The entire jealous/clingy thing can be a turn off for a lot of girls, and maybe next time ... (read in full...)
He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex....
Q. Me and my partner have been together for about 6 months. We have a great relationship and a great sexual relationship apart from one thing that really bothers me. He doesn't enjoy giving oral sex. He wants oral sex at least once a day and he gets it ...
A. 10 December 2010: I like this idea that women just LOVE going down south on their man, while for men, returning the favor might not be so enjoyable. Do men really think that women just can't wait to give their man head? That we just enjoy it for the sake of doing it? ... (read in full...)
Why did we break up instead of working things out?
Q. My exboyfriend and I are 22 and 23. We were dating for on and off for 5 years right out of high school up until about 3 weeks ago. we dont have any children and have never lived with each other but seem to have made it through alot. We broke up ...
A. 15 October 2010: He's definitely getting the best of both worlds right now, and it's because you're giving it to him. Not only is he able to sleep with you and communicate with you (who he's comfortable with) whenever he wants, but now that you two are broken up, he ... (read in full...)
If we break up over her cheating I'll lose my child
Q. I've been with my wife now for almost 8 years now. Married for 2yrs with a house and a baby girl of 7 months. She is from overseas and is currently back with her family with our baby while we were getting back on our feet(so far 4months). Inspired ...
A. 14 September 2010: I find it hard to believe that Australia doesn't have any laws that prevent a spouse from leaving the country with a mutual child involved. I mean she's out of the country now, right? When does she get back? You have to ask yourself if you are ... (read in full...)
I totally panick when giving presentations in front of my class!
Q. I've started at sixth form and so far I am really enjoying the subjects which I have decided to take however I have always been quite shy and nervous and in all my subjects they have told me I need to do a presentation in front of the whole class. ...
A. 14 September 2010: Believe me, I have been through the same exact thing as you have. I was TERRIFIED of doing presentations by the time I was in the 9th grade. I would literally rather write a ten page paper than a five minute presentation. I would cry the night ... (read in full...)
I have problems with my violent teenager son, who doesn't want me to date!
Q. I am having problems with my teenager. He's 13 and doesn't want me to date or talk to anyone. I decided not to bring any man around until I felt that it was serious. I have found someone who I am very happy with. My son won't accept it. He is very ...
A. 14 September 2010: I'm sorry to break it to you, but your son is only thirteen. If you allow him to punch you in the face, only to have your boyfriend walking around in the house naked a few days later, it sounds like you are the one who needs help.
Your kid is b... (read in full...)
If this were your partner's past, would you be as upset as I am?
Q. I met my girlfriend on a popular on-line dating website. Her story was this - she had been doing on-line dating for 5 years, but had never been out on more than 2 dates with anyone she met on the internet. She is a divorced mother of one child, and ...
A. 10 September 2010: I think that I would be more upset about the fact that she lied to you at first about not having these 'flings' when you two first met. I mean she could have at least said that her past was private, and then chose whether to tell you about ... (read in full...)
I feel I have to change myself to look like these pornstars he looks at daily......
Q. hi im 25 and live with my partner of 6years,we have two children,together..we have a great sex life,we watch porn together sometimes and i know he also watches it a lot online by checking history. I dont mind him watching as I know all men do its n...
A. 10 September 2010: I feel like I have to agree with Dear Jilly on this one. I used to think that ALL men watch porn ALL the time, and there was really nothing I could do about it. That was when I was with my first boyfriend. He would search it all the time, regardless ... (read in full...)
Does he love me if he feels the need to cheat?
Q. My boyfriend and I were dating for 4 years, until about 2 months ago. We broke up due to mutual decisions, which we both realise now are trivial compared to how much we love each other and want to be together. While we were broken up, I slept with ...
A. 28 April 2010: You guys broke up. It's really none of his business who you slept with, because you guys didn't share that commitment you had before. For all you knew, this guy would be your ex forever. Are you just supposed to wait around and never have sex with ... (read in full...)
What does one do to accept a relationship is over?
Q. Just wanting to know how people accept when a relationship is over because one person has commited numerous hurts to the other and no matter what they did, the relationship could never be happy 100% because of the outcomes of the betrayal.. How do ...
A. 28 April 2010: How? Because you have to remind yourself that a relationship is about being happy and about being at peace with one's life while sharing it with someone else. While no relationship is perfect, healthy relationships aren't hurtful to the point where ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me not to go ahead and sleep with other women when she says it's ok?
Q. I don't know what to make of this. I have only had sex with one woman. She and I are together and we plan on getting married. Although we haven't set a date we are serious. She has had sex with seven other guys before. She keeps telling me ...
A. 26 April 2010: It's totally normal what you feel. When I was in a relationship with my ex, he stated the same thing. I had never slept with anyone else but him before, and he was worried that curiosity would push me to cheat. He was talking about us getting ... (read in full...)
She only sees me as a co-worker and friend
Q. Well about three weeks ago, I started asking this girl at my work place for lunches and hanging out. I thought we were hitting off pretty well. We chatted during our lunches about each other. She even wanted to work out with her so that I will get ...
A. 21 April 2010: Buying an iPod is going WAY too far. You need to cool your jets if you want this girl to see you more than a friend. Just act casual around her. Start treating her (and I know this may sound strange) like one of your guy friends. Not to the point ... (read in full...)
Is eight guys too many?
Q. this is kind of stupid to ask but i just want to know people's opinion (go easy please :P) i am 18 and over the last 2 years i have had sex with 8 guys. is that too many? does that make me a slut? only 3 of the guys was i in any sort of relationship ...
A. 21 April 2010: Well it seems like you have an issue with it, or else you wouldn't be asking about it. Yeah. It's slutty. If a guy or girl asked this question, I'd say the same thing. Sleeping with five people outside relationships (and obviously the three you had ... (read in full...)
What should I do? I love him, but he keeps hurting me....
Q. hi everyone, Well first a little background. I am gay, fully out to my family and friends and I am accepted by all of them. My boyfriend is bisexual, hes not out to anyone in his family and only out to a few friends. his family is very conserva...
A. 21 April 2010: I think what you really need to do is sit him down and ask him where he thinks this relationship is heading. It sounds like he isn't really taking it seriously anymore, and perhaps moving in together was a factor in all this. Sometimes when two ... (read in full...)
Do I go for "True happiness" or "This is alright"
Q. Right I'm going to skip the nonsense and get straight to the point. I've been with my partner for two years. He has problems due to an accident. He is on a hell of a lot of medications and shows no interest in sex. He is snappy and no matter what he ...
A. 21 April 2010: Did this feeling of unhappiness with your boyfriend start as soon as you met this other guy? Or were you unhappy before? This question is essential, because your attraction toward this other guy could be due to the fact that you were simply unhappy ... (read in full...)
He gets so many texts from his college friend that its making me sick!
Q. A couple of weeks ago I had my boyfriend spend the night and realized he was getting a lot of texts by this one girl. I asked him about it and he told me that she is in his college class and that they really connected, also that he doesn't talk to ...
A. 21 April 2010: If you already have the urge to check his phone, you know that you don't trust him. There is something going on in your head that really doesn't connect as far as what he says and what he actually does. These are not good signs for a healthy ... (read in full...)
He gets so many texts from his college friend that its making me sick!
Q. A couple of weeks ago I had my boyfriend spend the night and realized he was getting a lot of texts by this one girl. I asked him about it and he told me that she is in his college class and that they really connected, also that he doesn't talk to ...
A. 19 April 2010: Ughhhh.
In my personal experience, if your gut is saying that something is a bit odd about things, then it usually is. My ex used to do the same thing with this girl that he knew. She had a boyfriend and everything, but she would call/tex... (read in full...)
Friends vs lovers - you women mix us guys up!!
Q. What is it with you women? I know it's a woman's option to change her mind, but.... Poor guys on here get so mixed up by you lot! Half the time you tell us to "hang in there, be their friend" when we like someone but the other person is with s...
A. 19 April 2010: It's a science really.
To put it logically, there are three different types of men out there for women.
The first category I think is about 35% of men in the world that are the type that women are attracted to right from the get go. These me... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is going to start working away
Q. my new problem.... basically me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months, 7 months of bliss! weve had a few big fights which we have resolved. but now im facing the worst heart break of all time. my boy has got his dream job, of working in ...
A. 19 April 2010: I know that you say you really love him, and this situation might be potentially heart breaking, but he has given you his opinion on the matter. He said he doesn't want to be together, because he doesn't think he can put all of his effort into the ... (read in full...)
The love of my life actually hates me...
Q. I was in a relationship with somebody for a year. Don't laugh, but it was only ever an online relationship. We talked on the phone, we talked every day on messengers, we had webcams, all of that stuff. Honestly, she was the first person I've ever ...
A. 17 April 2010: You have to realize that you aren't the only one who has every faced this rather heart wrenching circumstance. Almost everyone in the world has been heart broken, and almost everyone in the world has felt the pain that you are going through right ... (read in full...)
Anal sex - to do or not to do.
Q. Should I let my boyfriend give me anal sex?...
A. 17 April 2010: I am always a 'nay sayer' when it comes to the topic of anal sex. Studying the anatomy and physiology of the body, there are some serious repercussions to anal. The tract is really thin, and tearing is a serious possibility. This definitely ... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin, waiting till marriage, but I want to lose it with him!
Q. So I'm a virgin and I've been wanting to wait till marriage for that special night but recently my boyfriend of about 2 years has been wanting to have sex with me. He says he really loves me and I really love him as well. The other night while ...
A. 17 April 2010: I was in a similar situation where I wanted to wait at least until I was engaged to have sex with someone. I wasn't really religious, but I thought sex was a really powerful statement, so I wanted to wait. I met this guy and we ended up being ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to say that if she won't do it for me, I won't do it for her?
Q. my girlfriend had a lot of sex before she got with me. She was well known for giving blow jobs. We have been together a year and she won't give me one. When I asked her to do it she refused. She said that when she was younger she did it ...
A. 16 April 2010: I totally understand where you're coming from, and I'm a girl.
I mean I understand maybe if she was abused in a certain way, and she wishes not to repeat the experience. But this girl was just sleeping around, and now all of a sudden she won't do... (read in full...)
I was totally blindsided by my girlfriend suddenly dumping me!
Q. What do I do? I have been broken up with my ex-girlfriend for 3 weeks now. Of course, I'm still sad, but I have accepted it's over. I have no sort of disillusionment in wanting her back. I just want to move on. What's gnawing at me is I still do not ...
A. 15 April 2010: There are a lot of things that could have happened.
My guess is though that she really did find someone else more suited for her. Not that he was better than you, but he might have been someone more her type, or someone she got along with better. ... (read in full...)
His roommate doesn't want me there
Q. The situation is fairly complicated. I work as much as I can (which is tough since I work at a place that is on a call in/needed basis) and I'm a full time student. As of right now I've been living between my house and my boyfriend's apartment. I ...
A. 14 April 2010: "And to hijacked dignity, she doesnt need to pay any rent as long as her boyfriend pays his rent. "
Incorrect.
Her and her boyfriend are two people. That means that he cannot cover her living expenses. It's logical really. He's paying the same ... (read in full...)
Friend has an abusive boyfriend
Q. hi, my best friend has an abusive bf and i dont know what to do to help her. she has bruises up her arm, down her leg, on the stomch and boob because of him. though she says its not his fault, its his ADHD thats doing it and the fact that she 'winds ...
A. 13 April 2010: The sad thing about abuse is that no one can really stop it but the person that is being abused. You could report it to the police, but it would require her to press charges. At this point, I don't think that she would go along with it. There are a ... (read in full...)
His roommate doesn't want me there
Q. The situation is fairly complicated. I work as much as I can (which is tough since I work at a place that is on a call in/needed basis) and I'm a full time student. As of right now I've been living between my house and my boyfriend's apartment. I ...
A. 13 April 2010: I actually totally understand where the roommate is coming from.
Listen, you're not paying to live there right? Yet you are spending all your time over there. It's not right that you spend that much time and you don't have to pay a portion ... (read in full...)
Prom transport for my wheelchair-bound date
Q. I need help! And fast if possible. A friend of mine asked me to prom and of course I said yes (I don't fancy him but we are good friends). I don't regret that I said yes, because I scare guys off anyway and we are very good friends! So yeah, I kind ...
A. 13 April 2010: I don't blame you at all for feeling a little disapointed, but you have to realize all the fun things that are going for you as well! You are going to get all glammed up, you are going to have an amazing dress, and it sounds like you're going to ... (read in full...)
Does who you lose your virginity to really matter?
Q. Well,now I have another dilema.I want to get over my teacher and feel that another guy would help.He's 18 and can drive iv known him for 5 years and he proposed that we have some 'fun',I'm up for it or at least would be if my sister hadn't given him ...
A. 13 April 2010: Well think about it this way.
Let's say you wait to have sex until you find someone who you really love. Then you have sex with them. That doesn't guarantee that you'll be with them forever. I waited until I was twenty to lost my virginit... (read in full...)
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