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... Send *asteofIndia a private message | | | *asteofIndia's profile:TasteofIndia here. I'm 33 years old, with my BA in Theater & Psychology. I suppose you could say that I have studied people and how to get into their heads. I've been here on Dear Cupid for well over a decade. I love Dear Abby, Ann Landers, all those advice giving goddesses... when I found this website how could I resist?? (Couldn't.) I love Dear Cupid, love being a moderator and love giving advice when I can!!
A lot of people ask if I'm from India... just to clear things up, I'm not. I'm not Indian, I just really liked that song by Aerosmith when I first made this account. I've never been to India. I'm not even an Aerosmith fan, really, but I really liked that song at the time.
I've been with my fella for 14 years, married for 10. We have two cool daughters and a pretty cool life that involves lots of adventure, art and laughter.
I adore: positivity, theater, llamas, fromage, sweatpants, earrings, and sitcoms. That just about sums it up... |
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I'm wondering if my friend is jealous?
Q. Does my friend seem jealous? We are both female single never married and in our late 30s. We met because we work together. The other day I asked her about dating and she said she was not interested and was going to focus on work. A couple weeks ...
A. 14 September 2023: Agreed - you seem more caught up with the friend's reaction than the date. I have a few girl friends like you, who enjoy having, what I affectionately call a "POW". Aka, a Panel Of Women who they text for opinions and reactions. As a member of a ... (read in full...)
My out of country husband does things just to annoy me
Q. So my husband who lives in another country asked me to send him little bit of some money for internet so he can call me. I sent it him and he put the internet on his phone and then the next day asked me did I want him to call me later and so i sai...
A. 23 August 2023: Gotta second Kenny on this one - without more information, sounds like this guy is stringing you along and keeps you for the occasional bank boost.
Don't call him back. Boot him out. My guess - he's going to desperately try to keep you around, ... (read in full...)
My almost fiance's dad is driving me crazy!
Q. I could sure use some advice on relating to my potential future father-in-law. My girl and I are not engaged but that may change soon as I have his permission to propose and am just saving money for the ring. He swears he will keep the secret b...
A. 23 August 2023: Okay, I've really read through this and I actually think that he likes you a lot. I think it's probably quite the plot twist (for him) that his daughter picked a skinny white guy, and it sounds like he's doing his best to be supportive and accepting ... (read in full...)
She doesn't see what no one likes her
Q. There is no way to say this without sounding harsh. There’s this girl Ava that really doesn’t have friends. She’s nice but she’s sort of spacy and out there. Like, she doesn’t know what people are talking about most of the time and we always have to ...
A. 23 June 2023: Okay, as a theater queen, your response has me livid. Musicals and STUPID PLAYS?? Be better! Ava sounds like a cool girl, sounds charismatic and interesting. She definitely sounds a little sheltered and naive, but she sounds much more mellow than ... (read in full...)
Yelled at several times for being helpful, was I in the wrong??
Q. ?I’ve had a few pretty horrible things happen to me over the past couple of weeks when I was honestly just trying to be helpful - please read and let me know if I was in the wrong in any of these situations as I will never try to help anyone a...
A. 23 June 2023: You are being a good citizen. These people are being jerks. Please don't let them discourage your lovely nature. You are exactly the kind of human I would like cohabiting this planet, so please carry on. ... (read in full...)
No one will let me move on after placing my daughter for adoption
Q. I had a baby two years ago, my senior year in High School. It was in the middle of the pandemic, so I was home schooled anyway (because of the pandemic) and my parents were really pressuring me to keep the baby. The father was in my class, but he ...
A. 23 June 2023: Oh my Lord, this hurts my heart so badly.
First, I want to commend you for doing a really brave thing. And I'm so sorry that people have shamed you - ESPECIALLY in this political climate. You did everything right that you could, and you made a r... (read in full...)
I’m jealous my best friend is in a new relationship
Q. Dear readers, I was dating but decided to take a break and be single. My best friend has been single longer than me and recently got a new boyfriend. I am honestly feeling somewhat jealous! I thought we were going to be single together and it ...
A. 23 June 2023: Okay, I whole heartedly agree with Honeypie.
You are definitely, 100% out of line here. You're jealous, okay. That's understandable. I do see that you are aware that this is silly and selfish. It's okay to have the feelings, but it is not cool... (read in full...)
His parents know we had sex
Q. me and my "bf" had sex for the first time about a week ago (been together for a little over 3 months but we haven't made it official yet) and I guess I left a hickey on his neck .Anyways fast forward to about 2 days later and his parents saw and ...
A. 14 January 2023: As an adult, I can tell you that likely his parents may have *told* him that they didn't care, or *acted* like they didn't care, but unless they are cruddy parents, they probably did care. If they are good parents, they also cared a whole bunch ... (read in full...)
Why does my partner say this?
Q. My partner regularly says hes going to do something that will put him in prison if he doesnt return to his home country soon. I pay all the expenses for my home and he spends his money in the first week and then lives off me for the rest of the m...
A. 11 December 2022: Okay, major EW to this man. He wants to go home, let him!! He doesn't sound like he's offering more positivity and happiness in your life, just like he sits around being broody and siphoning your money and energy.
I'm gonna give this guy the bene... (read in full...)
I have no support around me when boyfriend and I argue
Q. I have being living with my boyfriend for the last three months. We have our ups and downs and arguments about day to day things. I live 5.5 hours away from my friends and family. My boyfriend lives about half an hour from his family. I lived away ...
A. 4 December 2022: Listen to your heart, here. Your instincts are telling you that this isn't the right place for you to be, and not the right relationship for you to be in.
It's okay that you made a mistake, and it's okay to correct it. We've all been there. T... (read in full...)
No sex is he cheating?
Q. Me and my husband hadn’t had sex for 3 days because of his busy schedule. And when we finally did it he did not ejaculate a lot like he usually does even when we do it every day. Is that normal or should I be worried?...
A. 23 November 2022: THREE DAYS? This is nothing to worry about. Why didn't he ejaculate as much? Well, maybe he masturbated that morning. Maybe he's been stressed. Maybe that's just what his body decided to do that day.
Please don't read too much into this. It sound... (read in full...)
My 6 years younger boyfriend acts like a brat
Q. Hi my boyfriend is very entitled and acts like a brat! I'm 6 years older, and all he cares about is getting high and hanging with friends. We have been together 2 years and it's been mostly bad. He works part time. I work full time and have a ...
A. 21 August 2022: Why in the WORLD are you with this guy??
I realize that often things are written during the worst time, and you get the worst version of the situation, but honestly there is no list of good qualities that could possibly outweigh this.
You hav... (read in full...)
I am worried about husbands interest in finding an old friend
Q. OK, so not sure how to deal with this one. Been married 8 years, but together for 19 years in total, met in August 2003. Over the past few weeks, my husband's become interested in 2013. But it's not an obsession with 2013 as a whole; one particul...
A. 21 March 2022: You haven't written anything that seems overly concerning. It seems like your husband has been doing some internet sleuthing to find this old friend, and if they truly were pals - it isn't creepy that he'd be trying to get back in contact.
As fo... (read in full...)
My long term boyfriend doesn't want anything serious
Q. Hi, aunts! So, my boyfriend of five years has been playing hot and cold with me for a while now. At first he was pretty interested but never showed any interest in getting married. He never talks unless I am the one calling or texting him and ...
A. 21 March 2022: Oh sister,
It's time to move on from this one. He is not invested in you, he is not giving you or the relationship the time and effort that he should be. Please do not waste time trying to change him or woo him - he has shown you his indiffer... (read in full...)
Whats the best way to find a therapist to talk to about depression
Q. A few weeks ago, one of my friends who I known for over 20 years committed suicide. This week, I found out that my best friends 15 years old daughter's cancer returned (she been in remission for three years). I am very worried about her. I hav...
A. 22 October 2020: Oh, sweetness. I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. You can certainly go through your doctor. You can also just go onto Google and look up (your town) (therapists) and it will usually give you a list of folks who you can call and see ... (read in full...)
I cheated got my ex pregnant. Should I attend the birth of the baby?
Q. I cheated on my girlfriend months ago with my ex partner. My ex and I have a child together. My ex is pregnant and says its mine. If it is I will take full responsibility. My girlfriend has forgiven me. Under the circumstances should I attend ...
A. 21 October 2020: Okay, I guess I'm feeling a different kinda way.
1) I think it's totally valid to check on the paternity here.
2) Not sure that you deserve your girlfriend's forgiveness, man. Like WOW - you cheated and didn't even bother to use protection? ... (read in full...)
I'm in a sexless marriage and my husband doesn't want to try to make things better
Q. My husband of over 30 years can no longer get an erection. He's struggling with a fatherless father and an overbearing mother. This seems to have him stuck in a rut and in this rut all his life. Not sure why he just can't get over it but he just ...
A. 17 September 2020: Okay, the sentence that is LEAPING out of the screen at me is: "not sure why he can't just get over it".
Your husband sounds like he's been through some really tough stuff - could have resulted in some trauma. He sounds depressed, and pretty h... (read in full...)
I don't want to end our relationship after 10 years but my partner lacks an emotive layer
Q. Have been in a relationship for ten years (not married, no kids). I get on with my other half very much on most things. My problem is that he seems to have a lack of what i define as "emotive layer". He doesnt care about birthdays, anniversaries, ...
A. 2 September 2020: I think you got great replies.
I just want to throw in that I really don't want you to wake up in ten years, look at your life, and feel like it's been wasted. You're still young, and you may find someone who gives you rainbows rather than gra... (read in full...)
My boyfriend made a rude remark about my new hobby. Should I get another hobby?
Q. I am going riding with a motorcycle riding group. My boyfriend has encouraged me to get some hobbies I do on my own. I've always liked going on scenic drives on motorcycles. So I found this group. When I told my boyfriend about it, he said that ...
A. 2 September 2020: I mean... oddly, I can see why your fella would be a little jealous and snarky. That's not to say that I agree with his snark, think his comment was warranted, or think you should take up something new. But, I can also see his imagination running ... (read in full...)
I want to let go of him with understanding not hatred
Q. I have a slightly odd question about a previous relationship that I'm still trying to figure out aspects of because I'm trying to heal and really move on. I am NOT the kind of person who just walks away from things. I know I give far more than I ...
A. 17 February 2020: I think that all of this work trying to analyze this guy to death, is energy better spent elsewhere. I’m not sure you’ll ever be satiated, because there are just some answers that you will never have. You can research this man until the end of your ... (read in full...)
Is my daughter's three way relationship doomed to fail?
Q. My daughter is in a ridiculous ‘relationship’ with a man and another girl. How can I get her to see sense and realise that it will never work in a million years? It’s been going on for about 7 months now, although up until last week I thought she ...
A. 12 February 2020: Ahhh, to be young, foxy, and stupid.
Listen, like the others, I only see two issues here. One, relationships are rocky. This may end. He could lose his job. If she can go nuts with his credit card (something he seems to consent to, and enourage... (read in full...)
How Do I Get My First Date Before I Turn 30?
Q. I am a overweight, not very handsome, not particularly smart or interesting, bald, geeky, awkward male virgin. I am very introverted to say the least. I've never even kissed a girl and I've never been on a date. When I get nervous, I stutter and my ...
A. 12 February 2020: As everyone else has said, you have to be happy with yourself. The best quality in a partner is definitely someone who is content with who they are.
I suggest that you get to the gym, or start up a regiment at home. Not because you need to be fi... (read in full...)
I can't tell if its love or lust.
Q. I am a 25-year-old young pretty and successful female, for the last five years I can wholeheartedly say I think I’m in love with one of my friends. It all started one night at a mutual friends birthday party we got really drunk and made out. Ever ...
A. 25 November 2019: You're a grown up, so it's time to stop acting like a teenager.
If you don't have the guts to talk to him, which you ABSOLUTELY SHOULD DO, then I think you need to stop playing around. This isn't helpful for you. This is a waste of your energy a... (read in full...)
Our friendship has got to the point I don't want to be her Maid of Honour.
Q. So I’ve been friends with this girl all my life. We lived quite close when we was younger so we spent all of our childhood together. We was inseparable best friends, however as time went on we drifted. We still spoke and still do now, just not as ...
A. 25 November 2019: Downsides of having a baby: they throw up, you don't get as much free time, they cry inexplicably, they demand a lot of attention.
Perks of having a baby: you have a built in excuse.
USE IT. Say that you're happy to go (if you don't mind atten... (read in full...)
Our friendship has got to the point I don't want to be her Maid of Honour.
Q. So I’ve been friends with this girl all my life. We lived quite close when we was younger so we spent all of our childhood together. We was inseparable best friends, however as time went on we drifted. We still spoke and still do now, just not as ...
A. 25 November 2019: Downsides of having a baby: they throw up, you don't get as much free time, they cry inexplicably, they demand a lot of attention.
Perks of having a baby: you have a built in excuse.
USE IT. Say that you're happy to go (if you don't mind atten... (read in full...)
I'm trying to be a good brother but do I need to tell my parents what my sister is saying?
Q. I am 15 years old and my sister is 14 years old. She is a cancer survivor and has been in remission for two years. The other night when we were home alone, she started crying and her room so I asked her what was wrong. She said she felt bad for...
A. 7 June 2019: To start off: I'm so happy to hear of your sister's remission! Congratulations to her!
Secondly: You are a wonderful brother.
Third: This is SO NORMAL for a 14 year old, half their life in a hospital or not. Soooo many teenagers haven'... (read in full...)
Quick, affordable ideas to keep romance alive?
Q. I like surprising my husband with post-it notes in his lunch, buying his favorite dessert or snacks, or setting up a comfy place for him to sit. We are both busy people and on a budget but try our best to keep things interesting. Does anyone have ...
A. 7 June 2019: Already sounds like you have pretty romantic tendencies! Can you manage to take a lunch break together? Maybe you can wake him up with breakfast in bed? Or maybe once a week, try to get in a quickie before work? Shower together before work ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to lie about a vasectomy?
Q. I just ended a 10 month relationship. I ended it because he admitted he lied to me about having a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. Is this a common occurrence? I have never heard of a man lying about birth control before and I am ...
A. 7 June 2019: I'm shocked that you have gotten into a place where you're even questioning whether or not this even remotely okay. In no universe ANYWHERE is this okay.
The ONLY place you should be questioning yourself is when you didn't aadd in extra protecti... (read in full...)
He won’t listen to me, that he has no need to prove himself! How to get through to him?
Q. Hi, I have known a guy for about four years and have been dating him for nearly two years, he is good friends with my family and he and my Grandad are always winding each other up. They love the banter but as per usual my Grandad took it a bit too ...
A. 12 March 2019: "My boyfriend is being more romantic since being called out by someone he respects and admires."
... and the problem is? Seems like a gift to me! I say sit back, and appreciate the fact that your boyfriend agrees that you are worthy of being sh... (read in full...)
Should I pursue sex with my hot neighbour?
Q. I'm currently 20 and the next door neighbor who still hot, probably 29 or 30 years old and is not married but does have 2 children is turning me on. I want to have sex with her. Should I just go for it. I mean I don't know that i can hold a serious ...
A. 8 March 2019: Lord have mercy, kiddo - chill your hormones. Like WiseOwlE said, stick to the fantasy, but for the love of Pete, don't be a creep and try to bang the MILF next door. She's a single Mom with enough on her plate. If she was trying to hook up, she ... (read in full...)
He ended things suddenly but I still like him. How do I deal with this?
Q. A guy I was seeing was giving me all the signals that he wanted more and I went with the flow. Suddenly he's ended everything and said he just wants to be friends.. I asked him whats going on because I'm so confused. And he said that at this poi...
A. 8 March 2019: He's already told you his deal - so this is no longer about him, it's about you and whether or not you can move on from this. You can - it's just a matter of deciding that's the path you're going to take. So, make the decision, and don't spend your ... (read in full...)
What does this type of hug mean?
Q. I was getting ready to leave my friend's house when I asked him for a hug. He accepted by stretching his arms out towards me, inviting me in. At first, he had his hands on my upper back. Then, after a few seconds, he decided to lower them down to my ...
A. 30 July 2018: You asked for a hug, he provided. Seems like he's a good hugger and/or comfortable with you. It sounds like you're asking if this was a hug trying to communicate more than just friendship.
If you like him, stop analyzing the little behavior... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being the other woman but love him too much to let go.
Q. I have been seeing A married guy for nearly 8 months. He spending every free moment with me we do things we go away sometimes, we talk on the phone multiple times a day every single day. He has been great fI me, He’s caring, attentive, Generous ...
A. 24 April 2018: If you choose this man, you are choosing a path that is going to have you crying, angry and heartbroken all the time. You are also choosing a path that is at the DIRECT EXPENSE of another woman and children.
He is really having the good life rig... (read in full...)
Drunk kissed my crush. We attend same classes too. What should I do?
Q. I'm sorry this is so long! But please I need an advise T.T So there's this guy in my college, let's call him M, who shares all classes with me (since it's a small college we are a little class of 19 people that will be together during all the 4...
A. 9 May 2017: I think you've given this guy every opportunity to give it a go with you. But he just hasn't picked up what you're putting down, sister! I would definitely let this one go. If he suddenly has an epiphany that he wants to be with you, he can do the ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend is interacting less with me and he seems depressed. Do you think he wants to cut ties with me?
Q. My boyfriend is married and we've been dating for quite sometime. His wife got to know about me and tried to get me to confess, which I avoided somehow. He says that he would divorce her as they don't have any sort of bonding (they don't have any ...
A. 7 February 2017: "The problem is that ever since his wife has discovered about our affair, he seems very depressed."
No. The problem is that YOU'RE INVOLVED WITH A MARRIED MAN.
He should be depressed. He should feel awful. He should be distancing from ... (read in full...)
Why does he do this to me?
Q. I've been on and off with a guy I've liked for 2 years. But we haven't had sex. I have tried everything with this guy because I really am unsure of his intentions as he has told me he likes me but nothing's changed. He doesn't meet me when he is ...
A. 19 December 2016: It's been two years, and this guy has continuously shown you that he's just not into you. The only time he seems to show you any attention is if you finally get with someone else - why? Because he likes the ego strokes you give him, not because he ... (read in full...)
I'm uncomfortable saying words about genitals. Help?
Q. Hi there, I'm in my first relationship and have been for 18 or so months. I've got body dysmorphia and I'm waiting for therapy for it, but I'm ashamed of my body. I'm very introverted physically and I've only ever been naked with my current boyfr...
A. 7 November 2016: Aww, how could I judge you? That's a very real and honest issue. It sounds like you're having more of an issue saying these things in bed, rather than in a doctor's office? If dirty talking makes you uncomfortable, that doesn't make you immature - ... (read in full...)
My fiance is disrespectful to me. Do I make him jealous?
Q. My fiance has been disrespectful to me. Whenever we argue, he quickly storm up and get out from the room. But while he is nice, hes so thoughtful about me. I feel he has avoidant personality and doesnt have much empathy. He is not used to be l...
A. 25 September 2016: I too have a fella who just exits stage right during an argument. And I hate it. I always feel like it's the real-life equivalent of hanging up on someone.
Here's my question. Does he leave to go and chill out for a little bit? Does he leave be... (read in full...)
Worried my alter ego is taking over
Q. I am 15 years old and have a very cool thing that I can do with my voice, I am able to make my voice sound like a girl. I was about 8 when I found out I could do this and very well in fact that everyone on Xbox thought I was a girl. I pretende...
A. 1 August 2016: Hi there,
This is actually a kind of issue that actors face a lot. This is also why drama therapy can be a terribly dangerous (if you ask me). Sometimes the pull of a character is so strong, that you get kind of addicted to falling into their li... (read in full...)
Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?
Q. Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...
A. 25 June 2016: Honeypie -- PREACH, girlfriend!
Honeypie just slayed that advice. There's nothing more to say. Nailed it. ... (read in full...)
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