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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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Am I reading too much into it
Q. I have a brief question. I have a female friend who I enjoy talking to. However, at times, I ask her for dating tips, so I can simply be educated on how to date. Instead, she tells me she doesn't want to offer any. She says the same thing when ...
A. 1 April 2013: Ah, I think you may be overanalyzing things, seeing signals in innocuous chitchat.
Did you make contact with her after your big falling out, or did she message you first?
Are social anxiety or Asperger's somethings you currently have?
If you wa... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into it
Q. I have a brief question. I have a female friend who I enjoy talking to. However, at times, I ask her for dating tips, so I can simply be educated on how to date. Instead, she tells me she doesn't want to offer any. She says the same thing when ...
A. 1 April 2013: Are you speaking in person, or is this all on line?
An 'xo' could mean 'kiss hug' or it could just mean a virtual platonic air kiss like two 'ladies who lunch' might do when they meet at the restaurant.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell my sex-buddy I don't want to sleep with him anymore?
Q. How do i tell my sex-buddy i dont want to sleep with him anymore? I live in a different city for university and when i come back we always meet up for drinks/cinema or we'l wobble back to each others houses after nights out. We've been sleeping to...
A. 27 March 2013: And I would skip the cinema date for the time being, until you get your feet back under you and feel less wobbly. Cut back on the booze, it hurts you in so many ways.... (read in full...)
Does she truly love me?
Q. I'm victor, 22yrs old and i have a gal friend 20. I love dis gal so very much and i guess she loves me too. but ma problem is dat she does'nt come close to me...since i knew her i have never hugged her or kissed her, we don't even hold hands and she ...
A. 27 March 2013: It sounds like she does not want to be close to you and does not love you in the way you love her.... (read in full...)
How do I tell my sex-buddy I don't want to sleep with him anymore?
Q. How do i tell my sex-buddy i dont want to sleep with him anymore? I live in a different city for university and when i come back we always meet up for drinks/cinema or we'l wobble back to each others houses after nights out. We've been sleeping to...
A. 27 March 2013: "Hey, while I have enjoyed our time together for the past few years, it's time for me to move on. I feel this is holding me back from some personal growth I need to do. I know you care about me as a friend and will support my decision. So it's back ... (read in full...)
I feel so bad when we have disagreements and nothing seems to help.
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help. My boyfriend and I are basically perfect except when we have relationship problems. We rarely have disagreements but when we do I feel so alone and lower than I've ever felt. I've tried explaining to him that I do not w...
A. 27 March 2013: I think you two are going to be just fine! If you go into this with a loving and open heart and a good amount of patience, you will come out with a much stronger relationship. And the bonus is that what you learn now will save you a lot of grief ... (read in full...)
Do I have a baby because that is what me and my fiancee want, or do I not because of what people will think and say?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship with my fiance over three years, we have had a very happy relationship and got engages almost a year ago. like all relationships, we have had our usual arguments and obstacles (other interfering people) but ...
A. 26 March 2013: Sorry for the hiccups.... (read in full...)
Do I have a baby because that is what me and my fiancee want, or do I not because of what people will think and say?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship with my fiance over three years, we have had a very happy relationship and got engages almost a year ago. like all relationships, we have had our usual arguments and obstacles (other interfering people) but ...
A. 26 March 2013: Oh and I ask this question because I did adopt the dog. He was given up by his first family because they could not care for him. They were too busy and couldn't handle his puppy energy. They were the wrong family at the wrong time.
Maybe you can ... (read in full...)
Do I have a baby because that is what me and my fiancee want, or do I not because of what people will think and say?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship with my fiance over three years, we have had a very happy relationship and got engages almost a year ago. like all relationships, we have had our usual arguments and obstacles (other interfering people) but ...
A. 26 March 2013: Oh and I ask this question because I did adopt the dog. He was given up by his first family because they could not care for him. They were too busy and couldn't handle his puppy energy. They were the wrong family at the wrong time.
Maybe you can ... (read in full...)
Do I have a baby because that is what me and my fiancee want, or do I not because of what people will think and say?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship with my fiance over three years, we have had a very happy relationship and got engages almost a year ago. like all relationships, we have had our usual arguments and obstacles (other interfering people) but ...
A. 26 March 2013: Is there some rush? Something really compelling that requires you to have a baby right now, beyond a vague undefinable desire? Is there a prize or an outcome that you expect?
Because while you say "I want to have a baby," I think the really matu... (read in full...)
I feel so bad when we have disagreements and nothing seems to help.
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help. My boyfriend and I are basically perfect except when we have relationship problems. We rarely have disagreements but when we do I feel so alone and lower than I've ever felt. I've tried explaining to him that I do not w...
A. 26 March 2013: Ah, okay, this is a very basic and simple difference between men and women.
When women vent and cry, they want to be supported. Men don't hear the vent in the same way a female friend would do, she would know to just listen and hold your hand and ... (read in full...)
Can a man tell me what a lady needs to do for some steamy sex from her husband?
Q. I need direct, honest answers, preferably from men. I love my husband and don't plan to cheat or divorce. I find him extremely attractive and he shows me love via copious amounts of affection and support. Our sex life on the other hand, i...
A. 26 March 2013: "Im starting to starve my self, I think its my way of punishing myself for not being hot enough." That is NOT congruent with "I look after my self."
There's something going on here, in this relationship dynamic and in your own psyche, that isn'... (read in full...)
Sexually not satisfied by my inexperienced BF
Q. Hello mates, I'm 20 years old and I'm not a virgin. (Active since age 15) I recently met a wonderful man who is 23. I took his virginity a few months ago and we have been having sex since. He's such an amazing fellow! Truly! I also didnt care...
A. 25 March 2013: Don't moan and say his name?
If he's young and healthy, he should be able to get an erection again in short order. Be patient and then try again.
Alternatively, you could ensure you have reached your orgasm first, via manual or oral stimulat... (read in full...)
Is jealousy a way of showing that you care?
Q. Is jealousy a way of showing that you care? I'm just wondering if acting jealous is really someones way of showing you that they care about you, and your well being. My bf is not jealous at all, he doesn't mind who I am friends with, who I talk...
A. 25 March 2013: The type of actions your ex took, controlling and suspicious, are about insecurity and not about love.
Why would you punish your trusting and loving boyfriend by thinking about cheating on him? If being controlled and stalked is your idea of love... (read in full...)
My BF or maybe FWB or Fiance loves eye candy, but says he wants to marry me!
Q. Ok I'm new on here. My boyfriend and I were just friends for about two yr before we took the step to f.w.b. then to dating. He has been dropping hints that he is going to proposal( he has asked in his sleep and when he was drunk, and always talking ...
A. 25 March 2013: "I have told him how it make me feel, but he get mad and won't talk about it and wont even talk to me for days."
That's not the action of a mature person. That's the behavior of a spoiled child who has been scolded, and is throwing a temper tant... (read in full...)
I had anxiety after breaking off an abusive relationship and it's now affecting my current relationship.
Q. When I was 16 I had a relationship with a boy. I took it seriously although it was just a game for him. He wrote me and saw me very rarely, although when we saw each other he behaved like a true gentleman. After 7 months of our relationship he ...
A. 24 March 2013: When you say 'he physically abused me,' do you mean he raped you?
It sounds like you are suffering from the aftermath of a traumatic experience. Did you ever seek counseling? Did you report the abuse at some point later on?
I would contact your loc... (read in full...)
My teacher has scary, piercing eyes and I have trouble keeping eye contact.
Q. i really can't keep eye contact, extremely bad at it. When teachers talk to me they make eye contact, and I can't. There's just this one male teacher I suck at making eye contact with, it's just he knows im shy. This teacher has "stare" while ...
A. 24 March 2013: My niece who was in the Army would slightly blur her eyes and focus on an imaginary spot behind the superior officer. It looked like she was looking at him or her but kept her from making locked eye contact.
You could also buy a pair of read... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my science teacher and I think me might like me too?
Q. i have a huge crush on my science teacher mr m....... because, his irish, his only 23, he has nice blue eyes and brown hair, and he is really nice to me. i think that he might have a crush on me too because everyone else who he teaches has that his...
A. 24 March 2013: In addition, other teachers who have wanted to be in the career they love have to leave because they become the target of obsessed girls. We had one teacher here who reported his teenage stalker actually tried to contact his girlfriend to make her ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into it
Q. I have a brief question. I have a female friend who I enjoy talking to. However, at times, I ask her for dating tips, so I can simply be educated on how to date. Instead, she tells me she doesn't want to offer any. She says the same thing when ...
A. 24 March 2013: I don't know why it would make her uncomfortable. Why would you persist in asking for tips you don't need when she has made it plain it bothers her?... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? I can't get the bad memories out of my head!!!
Q. I don't know if I should leave my boyfriend of almost 4 years over this... (This is going to be long but please bear with me!!!) When we first started dating I was struggling very much with a deep depression and self-esteem issues brought on by my...
A. 22 March 2013: Sorry but it sounds like you need to spend more time in therapy. You are not by any means over it if horrible memories plague you and you have horrible body issues.
Please do see your doctor and continue your therapy.
Take a break from dating h... (read in full...)
Two months no contact. Did she ever really love me?
Q. Help please, It’s been two months now I haven’t received a call or text from my girlfriend, we were together for three months, during the first month all was fine... Two months back she started complaining about having insufficient airtime...
A. 22 March 2013: I think you can be safe in assuming she does not love you. How much time did you spend together before things fell apart? And I mean, in real life, face-to-face, actual real time breathing the same air in the same room.... (read in full...)
Should I keep seeing this guy? He doesn't contact me for 4 days and then addresses me by my friend's name?
Q. Not sure if I should see this guy again. (Or maybe I expect too much) I have been seeing this guy for about a month now. It is very casual. He has shown interest in me. He would text every two days or so which is fine with me. This week he didn't ...
A. 22 March 2013: I think you like him more than he likes you. I'd just let this one slide and if he pursues you, great, if he doesn't, well, no great loss, really. Your instincts are telling you to let him go, let him go.... (read in full...)
My personal trainer embarassed me in front of everyone in the gym, why did he do this?
Q. Why did he behave like that? I'm so angry and ambrassed? I was working out with my personal trainer and I'm kinda shy so I couldnt look at him straight so i was looking around the gym. and alot of changes has taken place there so I was j...
A. 22 March 2013: You don't look around the gym when you are supposed to focusing on your own workout. That's how people get hurt. You have to FOCUS on whatever it is you're doing. This doesn't mean you stare at your trainer either. Unless your trainer is always ... (read in full...)
I want to ask someone out, without using those specific words.
Q. Okay, I've recently became friends with this boy, he's in some of my classes and because he is I feel that he is constantly looking at me. I caught him looking at me the other day in class and it was sensual stare. I like the fact that he is doing ...
A. 22 March 2013: "Sooooooo, when are you going to ask me out?"
Say this after you've made a lot of eye contact, with a small smile (don't show all your teeth, lol).
You haven't asked him out and the ball is in his court.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife?
Q. Is it normal to want anal sex with my wife, she's got a lovely arse and she's the only person I want it with, we have been together for 20 + years and have a fantastic sex life, I'm just wondering if my penis would be too big for her, it's 6 ins but ...
A. 22 March 2013: It seems to be almost expected in porn. I expect many people find it something they want to try at one point or another.
I guess the person to talk to about it would be your wife. Does she want to try it or not?... (read in full...)
Most of the relationship is great, but ...
Q. Hi folks. I've been dating my girlfriend for a year and half. She's the best girlfriend I've ever had. She's above average in her looks, career, spirituality, fitness... you name it. But I've got a few concerns: 1) Sex. I've had sex with 3 ot...
A. 22 March 2013: Nowhere do you say you love her. Why is that?... (read in full...)
How would you react to a $20 engagement ring from a well-off guy?
Q. Hello everyone, My boyfriend proposed with a ring that he paid 20 dollars. If he was earning a low income, I would not be asking for advice. However, he drives an expensive car, has about 50 pairs of shoes, good job, etc. should I be upset? Am I ...
A. 21 March 2013: Go to a jeweler and ask them to appraise it for insurance purposes. They will let you know what it is worth. Then tell him you went to have the ring valued for insurance purposes and found that it wasn't worth insuring. Be very concerned about th... (read in full...)
Pre-occupied with the fear that I might have HPV
Q. Hi there, Hmm I don’t know how to start this off it is probably going to sound crazy, but anyway when I was younger I went off of the rails I suppose and was incredibly naïve, so much so I ended up having unprotected sex with two rather questiona...
A. 21 March 2013: Talk to your doctor about the irrational fear and what you can do to overcome it. You sound obsessed with it. One option is to get the vaccine for it, even though you have been sexually active, there is still some potential benefit to you. If it ... (read in full...)
Not sure that either of us still wants to be in this relationship, but how do I tell him?
Q. I'm having relationship problems. And honestly everyone telling me to stick with it and see where it goes. But I don't want to. I think I like someone else. And I know that sounds bad but its the guy I have known for over 10 years I believe. And I ...
A. 21 March 2013: "I have enjoyed being your girlfriend and I wish this conversation wasn't so hard to have, but I think we have come to the end of the relationship. We've been having too many problems and it's just too difficult to work it out. These things happen ... (read in full...)
No sex, because he's disinterested? My husband regularly masturbates but our sex life is non existent. What are my options?
Q. My husband regularly masturbates and our sex life is non existent. His explanation is that he is not at all interested in sex, but masturbates when he has a bodily pain and can't concentrate anymore on anything else. We spoke several times ab...
A. 20 March 2013: It sounds as though you want something he can't or won't give you and he knows you will accept the situation, despite feeling hurt.
Go get professional help, with or without him, and maybe you can come to an understanding of why you tolerate this... (read in full...)
I found out I am his mistress and cannot let him go?
Q. Hi all, I am a newly divorced lady and I'm in a relationship with a man who is 8 years younger than me. Its a fairly new relationshi (3 months) and when I got involved with the man,he gave me the impression that his relationship with the baby ma...
A. 20 March 2013: The only way to deal with slick talkers if you have trouble setting boundaries is to stop listening to them.
Do not respond when he calls or texts. Change your number if you need to, to get a fresh start.
You don't have a lot in common with a l... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend didn't support me in ways I needed. Is it wrong of me to be mad at him? I feel betrayed
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years, he has a sister who is my age who I really dislike due to many things she did to me in the past. She seemed to be jealous of my relationship with her brother (things such as making fun of me at scho...
A. 20 March 2013: Of course it's not wrong to feel mad at him, your feelings are your feelings. It's just that it's been a year now and you are still feeding the feelings of anger. Did you speak to your boyfriend about this at all? Have you asked for an apology for ... (read in full...)
I am 3 months pregnant but my boyfriend pulled that "I am scared" crap. What's the next step?
Q. I am confused wether I am being lied to or not by the guy Ive been seeing for 6 mnths and am now 3 mnths pregnant too. When i told him i was pregnant he was happy but we had an argument after being in each others company for too long as we have both ...
A. 20 March 2013: Time to get your closest girlfriend involved, if you haven't already. We cannot make this decision for you.
It may help to find a counselor, talk to your doctor and get an emergency consult to help you sort through your options.
As he's absented... (read in full...)
Is this guy worth pining over?
Q. I met this guy for the first time through work a few months ago. Previously we spoke with over the telephone and he came across as arrogant and annoying. He doesn't let me finish my sentences. He jumps to conclusions. It’s really infuriating. When I ...
A. 20 March 2013: Good luck to you, I hope your work relationships with your colleagues improve.... (read in full...)
Attractive young woman got drunk, made overt moves on me and kissed my wife. What to do?
Q. TLDR; Attractive young woman got drunk, made overt moves on me and kissed my wife. What to do? This past weekend, my wife and I attended a party with a few friends as we try to do every other weekend. There has been a recent addition to ou...
A. 20 March 2013: So you're troubled by her using alcohol use to hide her possible reaction to too much alcohol?
Well, this should be easy to solve. Take alcohol out of the equation.
"Should I try to just chalk the whole experience up to too much liquor and let it g... (read in full...)
How do I get someone I care about to stop smoking?
Q. I need some serious help. I feel like such a terrible person because I can't control my own emotions. Recently my friend started smoking and its crushed me, I've cried everyday since, just knowing he does it upsets me and I'd give anything in...
A. 20 March 2013: Ah yes, smoking is so good/benign/not linked to cancer except for those annoying studies that people would prefer to ignore, well, it's such a healthful activity for people that we encourage toddlers to start smoking as soon as they start walking. ... (read in full...)
I am 3 months pregnant but my boyfriend pulled that "I am scared" crap. What's the next step?
Q. I am confused wether I am being lied to or not by the guy Ive been seeing for 6 mnths and am now 3 mnths pregnant too. When i told him i was pregnant he was happy but we had an argument after being in each others company for too long as we have both ...
A. 19 March 2013: I think YouWish has summed up your choices very well. As he has gone 'no contact' for 2 weeks, he's essentially removed himself from the situation. Cowardice? Playing ostrich? Breaking up? A drinking problem that has led him to an accident and he c... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 19 March 2013: Not much of what she's been doing sounds rational. I'd assume she's gone off the rails and work to end the marriage yourself. If she's not cooperating, seek some qualified legal assistance to dissolve the marriage so you are free to marry again if ... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 19 March 2013: I'm still curious as to which one of you slept with someone else. "She is such a unreasonable woman that when people marry for a Green Card they don't pick up fight with wife or husband even if they sleep with other people there as they have no real ... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 19 March 2013: If you can't cancel the venue and caterer, have the party, not the wedding. Change the flowers and don't wear the white dress.
I read your first post here. You wrote: "Everyone is telling me to postpone the wedding." Everyone is telling you to post... (read in full...)
I love him and can see him in my future but he can't?
Q. Those who aren't a Chrisitan please dont reply! I met my bf at a christmas party at church. We are both christian but he is a bit more christian then I am (which isnt an issue). His family did everything together at church and mine really didn...
A. 19 March 2013: It has more to do with him, than with you. He's the one with the small mind. Don't worry about what it was about you that caused him to lose interest. You are fine as you are. Don't change your interests based on his implied criticism of them, okay?... (read in full...)
Need self-confidence to lose weight
Q. Hello friends my question isn't really a relationship question but how can I lose weight? I feel very depressed about my weight but I can't seem to lose any weight I have tried many methods but nothing seems to work. I feel like in stuck in a rut. ...
A. 19 March 2013: Good luck! Remember, you just need to make the right choices… it's not rocket science, lol! If you do indulge every now again, that's fine, just make it the exception, not the rule. You'll do fine. ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being upset my girlfriend didn't prepare ahead of time to make time to see me before she goes away?
Q. general question. would you guys be frustrated if your girlfriend/boyfriend was going out of town for a week and you had planned in advance to spend the night before together, but it took them FOREVER to finally come over? my girlfriend has k...
A. 19 March 2013: Good luck with resolving the varying expectations and habits! TCK often hate goodbyes and do everything they can to avoid them… just sayin'. I hope it all works out for you.
And get some sleep, for heaven's sake. ;)
... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 19 March 2013: Yes, she does sound unstable, perhaps there is an undiagnosed mental disorder such as Bipolar Personality Disorder or other similar condition.
If you know her sisters, perhaps you can reach out to them and ask them to intercede on your behalf.
As... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being upset my girlfriend didn't prepare ahead of time to make time to see me before she goes away?
Q. general question. would you guys be frustrated if your girlfriend/boyfriend was going out of town for a week and you had planned in advance to spend the night before together, but it took them FOREVER to finally come over? my girlfriend has k...
A. 19 March 2013: Is she a third culture kid? If she is, she will know what I mean. :)... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 18 March 2013: Good luck with the counseling, but I would say that you should still postpone the wedding for at least a year.
Check the cancellation policy on your contracts with the caterer and the venue. It would be wiser to cancel now if there is a 30-day or o... (read in full...)
My American wife has accused me of getting married for a Green Card, what should I do now?
Q. 6 months ago , I got married to US citizen in Pakistan. We met through dating site and after four months she came to Pakistan to marry me. After honeymoon,once she got back to US, she filled Spouse Visa Petition for me. One month ago, we had a ...
A. 18 March 2013: "A little argument" which culminates in requesting a divorce? Must have been a hell of a little argument. Which one of you slept with another person?
You don't know her, talked on line for 4 months and then she came to marry you in Pakistan and ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being upset my girlfriend didn't prepare ahead of time to make time to see me before she goes away?
Q. general question. would you guys be frustrated if your girlfriend/boyfriend was going out of town for a week and you had planned in advance to spend the night before together, but it took them FOREVER to finally come over? my girlfriend has k...
A. 18 March 2013: If this is an ongoing issue that she chooses not to address, I think you may want to decide if you can tolerate this level of inconsistency. I think So Very Confused has a point about no longer making plans with her. That may prompt a lifestyle ... (read in full...)
I love him and can see him in my future but he can't?
Q. Those who aren't a Chrisitan please dont reply! I met my bf at a christmas party at church. We are both christian but he is a bit more christian then I am (which isnt an issue). His family did everything together at church and mine really didn...
A. 18 March 2013: I think the mistake here is assuming he is mature, just because he has some strong views on how the world works or should work. That's a fairly typical attitude of a young man (or woman, for that matter) that he's figured the world out.
I think you ... (read in full...)
Am I reading too much into it
Q. I have a brief question. I have a female friend who I enjoy talking to. However, at times, I ask her for dating tips, so I can simply be educated on how to date. Instead, she tells me she doesn't want to offer any. She says the same thing when ...
A. 18 March 2013: Here are some options:
-She feels she can't be honest with you about your datability
-She has talked about dating with you in the past and has given you all her tips
-She feels uncomfortable because you are 22-25 and she may think you don't need h... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for being upset my girlfriend didn't prepare ahead of time to make time to see me before she goes away?
Q. general question. would you guys be frustrated if your girlfriend/boyfriend was going out of town for a week and you had planned in advance to spend the night before together, but it took them FOREVER to finally come over? my girlfriend has k...
A. 18 March 2013: Maybe she's not an organized person?
You want to take it personally, that's your choice, but I expect she wasn't deliberately slighting you.
I know where she is, I'm a notorious last minute packer as well, I wait till the last possible minute. ... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 18 March 2013: I read your previous questions.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-man-im-supposed-to-marry-in-2.html is one of them.
Nearly a month ago, you found out about his cheating. He continues to lie and hope you will tolerate it.
What, besides writ... (read in full...)
Why does he lie to me? How can I marry this man in two months?
Q. I really need help. Its no secret to my fiance that I don't trust him. I have talked to him about being honest and earning my trust back. But he continues to lie to my fsce. I give him every chance to be honest. Why does he lie to me? How can I ...
A. 18 March 2013: Why are you proceeding with wedding plans? He continues to lie, I don't know about what, but obviously, it's a big problem.
Take back control of your life. If you feel you have to proceed with the wedding, it's apparent you feel trapped and stuc... (read in full...)
Is this guy worth pining over?
Q. I met this guy for the first time through work a few months ago. Previously we spoke with over the telephone and he came across as arrogant and annoying. He doesn't let me finish my sentences. He jumps to conclusions. It’s really infuriating. When I ...
A. 15 March 2013: From the way you've written about him, he sounds like a bit of an attention-seeking guy who wants people to do what he says.
Let's say he wasn't super handsome, call him ordinary, regular, whatever, would that change your perception of him?
I don... (read in full...)
Need self-confidence to lose weight
Q. Hello friends my question isn't really a relationship question but how can I lose weight? I feel very depressed about my weight but I can't seem to lose any weight I have tried many methods but nothing seems to work. I feel like in stuck in a rut. ...
A. 14 March 2013: When I see a heavy person at the gym, I think "good for him!" or "good for her!" People at the gym likely were heavy themselves at one point and understand exactly what you are going through.
Put on some headphones and get into your own private medi... (read in full...)
No sex, because he's disinterested? My husband regularly masturbates but our sex life is non existent. What are my options?
Q. My husband regularly masturbates and our sex life is non existent. His explanation is that he is not at all interested in sex, but masturbates when he has a bodily pain and can't concentrate anymore on anything else. We spoke several times ab...
A. 12 March 2013: Are you 100% certain he's heterosexual? He may have a different sexual orientation and doesn't want to tell anyone, especially you.
Go to a marriage counselor, set up an appointment that he can go to as well, then you attend whether he does or not.... (read in full...)
I feel so bad when we have disagreements and nothing seems to help.
Q. Dear Cupid, Please help. My boyfriend and I are basically perfect except when we have relationship problems. We rarely have disagreements but when we do I feel so alone and lower than I've ever felt. I've tried explaining to him that I do not w...
A. 8 March 2013: He tries to do his hardest to do exactly what you want but that's not enough for you? How is this relationship even possible?
What fears do you have? How do you communicate? Do you feel safe? Does he feel safe?
What has he done that has you so w... (read in full...)
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