| Latest articles: Holding Out for the Real Thing
No replies yet... 22 August 2009: We are all seeking love in this world in one form or another. What strikes me is that over the course of my life, the search for love has changed in rather strange ways for most people around me. When I was young, I was of the belief that life...
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How can I keep his attraction for me long term?
Q. Hi there. I'd be very grateful for some suggestions from women out there on how I can remain attractive to my man in a long term relationship. I sense he is very dissatisfied with me - disgruntled to the extent of having low self esteem. He doesn't ...
A. 12 September 2009: I'm sorry you're having problems, and I'm not sure if I can offer any advice that is useful. However, I'm willing to give it a go. Long-term relationships can change over time, and people begin to want different things periodically. Th... (read in full...)
This relationship is really promising but I don't want to be a mom to her 6 year old son!
Q. I am openly, and proudly, bisexual, and I make no apologies for that. I have recently started to become involved with a woman, which is nothing unusual for me. What IS unusual, however, is that she has a kid, a 6 year-old son. The father is still ...
A. 11 September 2009: I have no experience with parenting, but I have known plenty of kids in my life and have had decent relationships with them. I haven't ever really wanted children of my own, and so I haven't gotten involved with anyone who already has them. It's ... (read in full...)
My wife's new work 'friends' are making inappropriate suggestions
Q. My wife and I don't have a problem with us, but we're not sure how to handle her new friends. My wife and I got married very young, 1 year after high school. She stayed home and we have 3 kids, now she started going to work to help pay for our...
A. 3 September 2009: It's useless to try to lump all people into one category on the basis of some perceived similarity. Every creature is different on this earth. Ergo, every woman on earth is different. Just because your wife is in an environment with a few women who ... (read in full...)
Making comments about when I was skinny..now he ignores me!
Q. my boyfirend made a comment the other day about my weight. He said I looked so good when I was skinny. The other night I was eating a piece of chocolate and he said your never going to lose weight if you keep treating yourself to sweets. He used ...
A. 31 August 2009: If the person you are with is treating you like crap because of your size, then you are doing yourself no favors by staying with that person. Life is brief. It is so brief that you almost can't believe it. And, for my money, nobody on this earth has ... (read in full...)
Why would my wife be taking testosterone?
Q. For the past 5 weeks my wife's been getting moody, irritable and fed-up and I've had no idea why. Talking didn't help, she just ranted. I, however, found out why, on a day I had off from work (it was a training course, but I didn't need to att...
A. 27 August 2009: 25 is a bit young to be taking testosterone injections, but typically a gynecologist will prescribe them to help women who have a low sex drive get back to a more normal sexual libido. If your wife has had a hysterectomy or has a hormonal imbalance, ... (read in full...)
Help! I came out to my best friend by text last night, don't know what to do now?!
Q. I'm an 18 year old female, and after weeks of struggling to find the perfect moment to tell my best friend I'm gay I decided to tell her by text last night. I was to scared of her reaction if i told her face to face, so I decided it was better to ...
A. 26 August 2009: What you do next depends on what you want to accomplish. If your interest is simply in retaining the close friendship, then you should be okay with behaving as you did before. That means, I presume, that it's fine if you don't hear from her right ... (read in full...)
My feelings about group sex have changed - where do I go from here?
Q. My husband has been aking for us to have sex with another couple for years now. Before we were married I have had 2 foursomes (2 guys/another girl) and they were ok, but the first one ended my previous relationship. I have also had a threesome with ...
A. 22 August 2009: I think SamanthaX made some good suggestions, and I agree with her. I would add that you really need to do some soul-searching on this issue. It's for sure that over time we all change, and it sounds like you've sown your wild oats already and don't ... (read in full...)
He seems to have changed from controlling and obsessed to indifferent
Q. I apologise for the long question in advance. Me and my boyfriend have been in a Long Distance Relationship for a year and 5 months now. I live in the UK and he lives in America. The first time I went to America, everything was perfect. As ...
A. 19 August 2009: Long-distance relationships are so hard. I had my own that lasted quite awhile, and we had similar problems. It seems that when there is so much distance between two people, even if they love each other a lot, there is so much room for doubt and ... (read in full...)
My husband is going through a midlife crisis. How can I help him?
Q. My husband is going through some midlife crisis, or just serious depression. He can't see that, or talk about that. But I see him turning more and more bitter day by day. I can't convince him, he thinks I'm critical. He stopped being affectioan...
A. 19 August 2009: There is no easy solution to the problem you've described, and short of anti-depressants, I'm not sure what to suggest. I've struggled with depression in my life, and anti-depressants have been the only thing that made it possible for me to cope at ... (read in full...)
Are looks really that important?
Q. To sum the whole problem up, everyone thinks and says my boyfriend is ugly. We're in a long distance relationship, therefore most of my friends haven't even seen him closely, but when they see his pics they all start screaming at me about how ugly ...
A. 18 August 2009: The physical body is just a shell that contains all of the most beautiful aspects of human beings--the soul, the heart and the mind. Love that is based solely on the physical attraction one feels for another will not last long. Beauty of the body ... (read in full...)
How do I let her know that I have some self-respect?
Q. I am a gay girl- I met this other girl about a year ago. We had sex then were planning to go for a date again but it didn't work out until novemeber. We went for a drink and were about to go for a more formal date later, but I wasn't really ...
A. 18 August 2009: So many unanswered questions. Gay or bi? Love or sex? Now or never? This is the tough territory of relationships..a world where nothing is terribly certain and everything is to be lost or gained. The good thing about it is that you have a fine head ... (read in full...)
Why in the world do I always give in and let him contact me and start believing in him again?
Q. I am sorry ahead of time for how long this is going to be, but I am totally at a lost.....Me and my ex meet online 4 yrs ago. He totally swept me off my feet. We dated online for over a year, seeing each other on weekends etc. After a year, I ...
A. 17 August 2009: I have been down the same road you are on, and it was the most painful experience of my life. You are definitely involved with a narcissist. These people thrive on the chase, the seduction and then the destruction of their prey. They repeat the ... (read in full...)
I think we are at a different stage of life and I'm not sure she is the one I want to settle down with
Q. I fell head over heels for my girlfriend a year ago, I'm late 20's she's early 20's. I thought I had never met anyone as mature and as suited to me as she was but in hindsight I was blinded by my love for her. In four months we were certain we ...
A. 17 August 2009: You sound like a man with a very good head on his shoulders and, if I may say, a kind and generous spirit. You are sincere in what you want from a relationship, and you are clear-sighted enough to know what you don't want. It is a very common ph... (read in full...)
Why are all of these guys married?
Q. Thanks in advance to all who take the time to answer. I have been single about three years. I have dated a bit but not a lot. It seems to me that every man I meet and talk to mentions his wife within about thirty seconds of my meeting him. I am ...
A. 16 August 2009: The reason they are telling you they're married is quite probably because they find you attractive, but they want to make sure they put their cards on the table so you don't get the wrong impression. They most likely are decent guys who just want to ... (read in full...)
Should I even try? She has a boyfriend!
Q. i knew this beautiful girl over the internet two years ago.. always has crush on her even after i knew she has a boyfriend. but i was "professional" enough to be just friendly.. as time passed by she sorta confessed that she has feelings for me, but ...
A. 15 August 2009: It's always a bit dangerous to involve yourself with someone who is already with someone else, whether the other person is male or female. First of all, you could end up being used as an 'experiment' for her, and when she has had what she wants of ... (read in full...)
My grandma keeps hitting on me..
Q. I'm 19 years old, and in college, studying technology and design. We go down to my grandparents' house every other weekend. In the past few weeks my grandmother has been trying to touch my bottom in a sexual manner, and it's made me feel up...
A. 13 August 2009: Well, your granny sure sounds like an odd duck. I don't know anything about her except what you've told us here, but perhaps she has a drinking problem or takes medication that makes her lose her inhibitions? I'm just guessing here; I could be ... (read in full...)
Crossdressing question...
Q. Please tell me how to enter into the world of transgenderism or crossdressing? I enjoy wearing sarees and bras I have adopted to this practice from 5 years, I can no more control my feelings can you give me some advice? ...
A. 3 August 2009: Well, I'm not sure what type of advice you are seeking. But, I would say that you should perhaps get some assistance from a close female friend who might advise you on what looks nice on you. Make-up tips would be helpful as well if you plan on ... (read in full...)
Question: do women tell their friends everything about their sex lives?
Q. Exactly how much do women talk about their sex lives with their girlfriends? I know that everyone has a different personality and of course that would dictate what they would tell their friends about their privage moments with their significant ...
A. 30 July 2009: Some women talk a lot with their mates about sex, some don't. I, personally, tell my best friend pretty much everything about my love life, including sex. It's always assumed that she won't tell others what I tell her, and I do trust her to keep a ... (read in full...)
How do I reassure her that I'm trustworthy?
Q. I am in a new relationship of 2 months with my partner. (both female) She and I have started out very well and have said that we will be honest with each other even if it's not something the other person wants to hear. Last night I went out and got ...
A. 26 July 2009: I think it's good that you told her. Even if it upset her somewhat, she knows that you want to be honest and keep the record straight with her. That's so important in relationships, especially when you live in different cities. I definitely think ... (read in full...)
No sex on my wedding night!
Q. I am writing this a day after getting married. We had a really special day and we retired to our room about 1am. My wife looked amazing and I couldn't wait to consumate the marriage. Unfortunately despite my advances she simply was not interest...
A. 19 July 2009: Your disappointment is certainly understandable. When you think of marriage, you think about the joys of the bedroom on the night of the wedding. That is definitely natural.
However, age and circumstances can sometimes lead to a lack of sexual i... (read in full...)
Shouls I ask for her forgiveness and hope she will take me back or leave it?
Q. I'm so confused about my feelings and think I've made a terrible mistake! I have recently ended a relationship with the most wonderful woman after 2 years! We had a really deep connection and in the beginning the excitement was fantastic as I ...
A. 13 July 2009: Relationships are so intensely complicated, aren't they? I thought somehow as I got older they would become easier, but it seems they never do.
You sound really sincere and it seems that you genuinely care for this woman. It's sad that things g... (read in full...)
I'm unsure...
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and I feel I am really wasting my time. Although he is good company and I can talk to him about most things, there is no romance or passion in the relationship. He has never said he loves ...
A. 12 July 2009: Only you know if you can live with a relationship in which your partner does not show you the kind of love you want to be shown. I have been in several relationships, some of them quite successful, some of them not so much. In my experience, there ... (read in full...)
Have you cheated or been cheated on?
Q. I am just curious how frequently people cheat or get cheated on? By partners, fiances, spouses? And if you have cheated, why did you do it? Is cheating unavoidable in long term relationships? Do all partners get bored at some point?...
A. 11 July 2009: I have been cheated on twice in my life, and it was extremely painful the second time around because I was genuinely and completely in love with the man who cheated on me. I don't know that anyone gets over it very easily, and I will never ... (read in full...)
He has no time for me! Is it too much to ask?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months ago. He was pretty desperate to stay friends with me and its what I wanted too. The breakup was his fault so I really felt like if he wanted to stay friends he had to put the effort in and he agreed. ...
A. 10 July 2009: Sometimes it's possible to remain friends with an ex, but it takes time to evolve into that kind of relationship. A 'cooling-off-period' is usually a good idea because it allows you both to pick up your lives and move on. It also gives you time to ... (read in full...)
How do I start dating again after 15 years?
Q. i am 40 yrs old and i haven't dated in 15 years. i recelently lost weight and now i feel better about my self and i want to date. i looked up an old friend that use to be interested in me when i was big so i know he would love to see me now. i never ...
A. 9 July 2009: I'm sure that you can handle dating if you take it slowly. It's good that you are feeling happy with yourself and have gotten clear of your first boyfriend. No doubt, that relationship left you kind of uncertain about life and people. Taking better ... (read in full...)
She makes plans with other guys and then lies to me about it!
Q. i Hve been in a relationship with my gf for about 4 years. The main issue in the relationship is trust. Specifically about other men. My gf has this tendency to make plan to meet with guys for beer or conversation, but oftentimes lies to me about ...
A. 7 July 2009: For me, trust is the linch-pin that holds a relationship together. If that goes, then the whole thing falls apart for me. I speak from hard-won experience on this subject because I trusted someone and loved him completely only to have him lie to me ... (read in full...)
I feel at my age I'll never meet someone nice again!
Q. I am 49 years old and very lonely. The last man I dated turned out to be very controlling and was very weird. I haven't dated anyone else, and I'm afraid of internet dating (afraid I will meet another psycho who misrepresents himself). I have ju...
A. 6 July 2009: I think that it is possible for you to meet someone for sure. Your age shouldn't be a factor because you sound like a charming and interesting person. What I would suggest is that you spend some time on YOURSELF. Treat yourself to a new outfit, a ... (read in full...)
Ladies... What could a gent do to prove he's changed?
Q. I know this is VERY general question but here goes anyway: ladies imagine or think of a gent you've known. The two of you were close, very close. Over time you began to believe he just wasn't happy being with you anymore and that in turn was ...
A. 5 July 2009: That's a tough question, but I'll give it a go. To be honest, I think it's one of the hardest things in the world to prove you have changed to any other human being. The only way to do so is by your actions. Words are simply that: WORDS. And, as ... (read in full...)
I cheated on her but I still miss her, she even misses me too...
Q. Hello, Summing it up and asking for words of wisdom; was in an 18 year relationship- I cheated. I left and she found someone right away and they live together now. We have had lots of "conversations." Not too long ago, she contacted me and said...
A. 5 July 2009: You spent such a long time together, so it is definitely understadable that you would miss each other and still have deep feelings for one another. It's hard to move on in your life after ending a relationship that defined so much of who you were. I ... (read in full...)
How do you rebuild your life after the breakdown of a marriage?
Q. Ok, I'm the poor sod who asked for help about a year ago with the husband who was addicted to porn, sex chat lines, websites etc. I have since made the move to get divorced from him and it has not been easy. At the moment I am suffering from s...
A. 5 July 2009: My heart truly goes out to you. While I have not been in your exact same situation, I have had to battle depression before. In fact, I was hospitalised for it back about three years ago, so I understand how bleak things might feel for you right now. ... (read in full...)
Girls want what other girls want, or they want what they can't have, true?
Q. In my dealings with women I've noticed they want men who are desired by other females. I've noticed girls flirt more with guys they know already have a partner and they shun the single guy. Is there something in their DNA that makes them go after ...
A. 29 June 2009: From an evolutionary stance, the females of any given species prefer the alpha males for reasons of procreation and protection. In the human world, I guess that sort of evolutionary thing is what leads most women to prefer the males that other ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before contacting him again and how should I start it?
Q. I cut my ex out of my life after a series of bad events (including him cheating). However I still really love him and want to be with him. I actually want to speak to him again because I miss our great friendship/companionship a lot, but I know ...
A. 29 June 2009: You've gotten some good advice from the other posters here, but I will give mine as well. I think you should definitely take a solid amount of time off from him before you instigate contact again. I think you would be the best judge of how long that ... (read in full...)
Haven't heard from the guy I cheated with, what should I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a great man for 3 years. We love eachother and everything, but sex is out of the question. He is always working and I am always working so we barely have time for eachother. When we do have time I always try to get ...
A. 29 June 2009: If you play with fire, you will get burned. That means that if you want to keep your man and avoid the burning pain of the break-up because you cheated, you need to drop this other guy.
My advice would be to talk with your partner about your nee... (read in full...)
I think I lost out on "The One"!
Q. Ok so I really need some help here. The last boyfriend I had was a year ago. I dated him for almost two years. He ended up breaking up with me after he got a second job because he said he simply did not have time for a girlfriend. I believed him. ...
A. 29 June 2009: Don't be too hard on yourself, sweetheart. We all make mistakes in love and the trick is to take our mistakes and learn from them so that we don't make them over and over again.
In this instance, you probably did what you did because you were sti... (read in full...)
Lesbian - but afraid to lose my husband. Please help!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in a horrible situation... where I have to choose. Making a decision so big is always scary and difficult... Well, here's my story. I'm married to the best man in the world, who truly cares about me and wants to make me ha...
A. 26 June 2009: I have not been in your situation before, but I had a friend who went through something similar. She was a lesbian until she met the guy she married and had a child with. They have been together for about 7 years now, and though she seems happy on ... (read in full...)
Do you contact your ex if nothing is there?
Q. It's common knowledge that you dont call your ex endlessly if you're no longer interested in them, right? My boyfriend broke up with me a few months ago and has slowly been contacting me more and more often. Now, we talk a few times a week. I ...
A. 26 June 2009: I don't know for sure what he is thinking or what his reasons are for calling you, but it's probably the fact that he misses you. I would also speculate that he still has feelings for you. Whether this means he wants to get back together with you ... (read in full...)
I'm 38 and hes 24. Is this going to work in the long term?
Q. Okay so I'm a young 38 (very active) and my boyfriend is 24 (active as well) honestly, what are the chances of things working out long-term with such a huge age difference? We are exactly the same - we joke about it often, and sometimes if I have ...
A. 25 June 2009: If you love him and he loves you, then age shouldn't be a problem now or in the long run. I think that what is important is that the two of you share similar values and desires and that you want the same things out of life.
The essence of a las... (read in full...)
She says she's going away for work and won't have time to call me!
Q. My girlfriend had to travel for work. She claims she thinks she will be to busy to call. Does this sound strange to anyone? She called when she landed, to let me know she made it ok. She returned my text when I ask her a question, but when I text ...
A. 25 June 2009: It does sound a little odd to me. I mean, honestly, it doesn't take that long to make a quick call on the cellie to say "Hi, I'm thinking about you." My gut instincts would be going into overdrive about something like this. I don't mean to cast ... (read in full...)
Had affairs and now I'm in trouble!
Q. Hello, I just registered on this site and I find this site very interesting with lots of good advice. Well, this is my story. I really love my wife, I love my children and my home. I recently shifted to another Ministry and I am presently having a...
A. 25 June 2009: If you're expecting sympathy here, I'm afraid you won't find it. Do you mean to tell us that you are in some type of religious ministry and this is how you are conducting yourself? Honestly, I'm not a judgemental person, but that kind of sounds ... (read in full...)
Cheating wife and I don't think I can forgive her!
Q. just found out my wife has done something with another man,she said they havent had sex but only done it the once,we been together 20years,dont think i can forgive her,she says shes sorry and wants us to start again, she said it was because she was ...
A. 23 June 2009: It's not an easy situation, and I really do empathize with you. I've just gotten out of a relationship with a guy who cheated on me, and I was deeply in love with him. If I didn't care so much, it wouldn't hurt so badly. I really thought he loved ... (read in full...)
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