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... Send *issKin a private message | | | *issKin's profile:Hi all. Have been using this site for a long time.
I'm in my mid 20's, in a long term relationship and have been with my significant other for over three years.
Hope to be able to provide fair and honest advice to people without judging. |
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| Latest articles: How to be secure in love...
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 October 2008: How to be secure in love... When you enter a relationship, it opens up hundreds, thousands of uncertain feelings. Little potholes in our sanity and they can easily make their ways into becoming tunnels. I was the most confident person in the wo...
Sex is a funny thing...
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 January 2008: I have recently started going out with a guy that I am CRAZY about. I really love him and our relationship has moved really quickly. We were close friends first and both rather secretive about feeling anything more for the other, afraid to ruin what ...
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My boyfriend of 3 years doesn't want to have children. I dream of having them
Q. Hey everyone. So ive been with my boyfriend a year now and we started talking about kids i commented how good he is with his nephews and how hed make a great dad one day to which he said he doesnt want any children. This crushed me as he knew from ...
A. 3 December 2018: You need to leave him. Fundamentally you want different things. He is in his 40s, if he wanted children he would know by now.
If you really want children you need to walk away. ... (read in full...)
He has been texting someone he met in a dating site
Q. I've been with my Other Half (OH) for 2 years and have really felt as though he is the one. I've trusted him completely and yet the other day, when I silenced an alarm on his phone, I see Facebook messages between him and another woman that he ...
A. 18 November 2018: You're not respected because you're not demanding respect. The very fact that you "let him do whatever he wants" and "fit in around his life" is a sign that you don't even respect yourself. You are worth more. Leave him and do not look back necause ... (read in full...)
How do I make his 2 year old son like me?
Q. Hi everyone! I started dating a man recently and he has a 2 year old boy from a previous relationship. I met his kid twice so far and he doesn't seem to like me at all! He turns his head around when i talk to him and he doesn't want to talk to me or ...
A. 17 November 2018: Just relax :) As far as he is concerned you are a random person he does not know. He is too young to understand that you are dating his dad.
Say hello to him, ask him how he is, and then leave him alone unless he comes to you. If he wants to play... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want children, my mother is heartbroken.
Q. I met my boyfriend 1 year ago. He is 40 and I am 30. He told me about 3 months into the relationship that he does not want to have any children. I am confused because I am not sure if I want to have any. I know that my current circumstances will not ...
A. 8 November 2018: Forget about what your mother wants. She doesn't have to raise any children you have, YOU do. Yes she will feel sad but you are not here to have children for her benefit.
I would try to think about this outside of your relationship. If you were... (read in full...)
Should I fly 4,000 miles to go see my ex? Would it be cheating?
Q. So... we’ve broken up for 5 years after an incident and subsequently I moved home to my home country. Contact was lost eventually as we were sick of crying over the phone. Recently, I thought I saw him whilst on vacation and sent him a text. He...
A. 22 October 2018: The easiest way to think about it is: would you tell your current partner? If not, then yes I would consider it cheating and I would say that you know it's wrong. If you do tell your partner you can take their views into account and if you go ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so socially awkward and silly?
Q. I've recently started experiencing terrible anxiety and it's really effecting the way I am in work. I was wondering if anybody had any tips to help deal with day to day life. I have an issue with looking clean and tidy. I have a bath before work...
A. 22 October 2018: I think you're focusing on your hair and hygiene because it's something you can control more easily than the way you feel.
I disagree with the anonymous responder who says to stop taking anti depressants. ALWAYS consult your prescribing phys... (read in full...)
I have a question about porn.
Q. I have a question about porn. My grandparents are pretty strict and almost never leave the house. Well, they do but Grandma works part time and Grandpa is retired and is actually a Deacon but they are never gone at the same time unless I'm in ...
A. 22 October 2018: There are bigger problems in the world, and I imagine in your life, than not being able to ruin your future sex life with porn. I AM anti-porn so my advice is biased. I agree that you should learn to use your imagination. It is much healthier.
M... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 5 years is no longer sure he wants to be with me. I think he is going through some sort of life crisis
Q. Hi everyone. This is pretty long so just bear with me please. I (25F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 5 years. We have lived together for all of that. Before dating, we were very good online gaming buddies for another 5 years. I m...
A. 15 October 2018:
I think the suggestion that you find your own hobbies and starting exploring activities is a good one, at least it gives you your own social circle. You don't mention if you do things without him, do you? Or do you wait to find out what he is doin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is thinking about working with a woman I don't like! What should I do?
Q. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and I love him with all my heart but I have always struggled with trust issues due to my boyfriend's career. He works at a gym a...
A. 15 October 2018: I think you're causing your own problems. When you say he got with you under inappropriate circumstances, what does that mean exactly?
You say the problem comes from him not committing to you. Does that mean you want to get married and you thin... (read in full...)
Does him not being able to stay hard with me prove he isn’t attracted to me physically?
Q. I just started seeing this new guy and everything is great. We are able to talk and laugh with each other and just have a good time. He calls me beautiful and sexy and says he likes the way I look. But last night we just tried to have sex for the ...
A. 22 September 2018: I find his reaction to not being able to 'perform' interesting. Maybe you haven't gone into detail but I feel like his seemingly relaxed reaction means he knows this is a problem and/or wasn't surprised by his inability to remain erect.
I agre... (read in full...)
After years of neglect, my teeth need dental care! Is this how I go about it?
Q. Hi guys... I think this is more for support as well as advice. I've been on before about this topic but a new angle this time. So I've now got a boyfriend and one major issue I had was I hate my teeth. It's because of years of neglect ...
A. 13 July 2018: Be honest and upfront with your dentist over how anxious you are and your fear of the dentist and they should help you appropriately. While emails are good and often cause ME less anxiety, phone calls are quicker, can put your mind at ease and means ... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend tell people about me ?
Q. My boyfriend won't take me around the people he plays sports with or tell his co workers or family about me. What should I do ? I asked him why he won't tell anyone about me or take me to a soccer game that he plays in coed soccer leauge because I ...
A. 7 July 2018: I had a boyfriend who wouldn't introduce me because he was embarrassed by me/his friends were massive ***** and would have "been mean to me". I question why he was even friends with people like that. I didn't want to be included in his sports or ... (read in full...)
Should I report a teacher for teaching 7 year olds about sex?
Q. 3 days ago my 7 year old daughter came to my house asking me about why guys can only wear condoms, she was too curious to know more about sex and the male genital. I was shocked how she knew the word condom, from who and why she is asking me this ...
A. 1 May 2018: I don't think it will be a shock to the head teacher. It's encouraged by school boards etc. to talk about sex with younger children now. The degree to which it is discussed varies dependent on age. I WOULD question if a seven year old needs to know ... (read in full...)
Anyone have friends or family who knew of your partners affair and DIDN'T tell you?
Q. Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2008 till now we still ...
A. 28 March 2018: I don't agree with youcannotbeserious. I would be fuming and heart broken if anyone in my immediate life knew and didn't tell me. Ultimately your girlfriend was at fault and was wrong to involve your family. It did put your family into an awkward ... (read in full...)
Do you consider girl on girl action cheating?
Q. I am in a relationship for almost 3 years now. My boyfriend is out of the country most of the time. We are apart for months. I love him and I have never had sex wit another man nor have I ever kissed someone else. I haven't even flirted with another ...
A. 18 March 2018: Yes you are wrong.
It makes no difference if it's male or female, it's the ACTION that makes it cheating. Not the gender of people involved. What it it was a man who identifies as a woman? Would that also not count because they're not a "man?
Th... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my doctor.
Q. I have fallen in love with my physician. I’ve been with him professionally for 15 years. I’ve always liked him but over the years we have developed a friendship. He is 4 years younger than me but I feel that we are compatible. I realized three ...
A. 2 March 2018: Get a new doctor. If anything happens you are putting your marriage his marriage and his professional integrity at risk. So first, get a new doctor.
Then, if you are not happy in your marriage, either have the dignity and respect to leave your husb... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is insecure. What do I need to do from here?
Q. I told my gf that we should catch up with an old friend of mine and she got jealous and upset. Ive known this friend for 15 years or so but havent seen them for 6-8 years, havent spoke to her for 3 years! Shes getting married and I tried to t...
A. 16 February 2018: I have to say, as an insecure person myself, I'd be happy to be included and wouldn't feel as jealous because surely if there was anything to be worried about you wouldn't be inviting her to go with?
I think she needs to work on this issue. Talk... (read in full...)
I'm afraid if I have a baby I will have to do all the housework and take care of the baby too
Q. My husband and I are planning a baby. I’m a bit worried however that I’ve to do all the housework and take care of the baby as well. I have told my husband that we should move to The West Coast to my friend so she can be involved throughout. My ...
A. 16 February 2018: So he is helpful around the house but you don't feel his efforts are good enough? Seems a bit unfair on him. At least he is helping even if you don't think it is good enough.
I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to look after the baby and ... (read in full...)
My husband is a hopeless cook who thinks he is great
Q. My husband likes to cook but is bad at it. I am a great cook since I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years. I want to teach him and have him start by helping me chop the vegetables and take care of the kitchen first before doing the ...
A. 16 February 2018: I think you're being over the top in your reaction. Saying that he clearly doesn't see it your way. He is happy to help and cook, but only to do it his way. You don't want him to cook you just want to use him as an assistant.
My advice would be... (read in full...)
I feel jealous and insecure around my 10 years younger girlfriend
Q. I'm dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months, she's ten years younger, very sweet and caring, but there is a few issues that I'd like to share. She's still in college, sometimes I get worried and jealous about other guys hitting on her! She u...
A. 16 February 2018: Ten years is a bit age gap at your age. You're in completely different stages of your lives. She's at the partying college stage where she does not know what she wants and needs to experience the world.
You shouldn't be jealous and you can't real... (read in full...)
After 2 years together I sense that something isn't right
Q. I'm in a two year relationship and although my boyfriend cheated on me, one night stand, at the very start of our relationship, we managed to work through it and we are still together now. We had been together for 4 months, and he confesse...
A. 4 February 2018: Why don't you start by talking to him about why is seems less interested in doing things? Don't mention the phone, don't make him think you don't trust him. Just talk to him about how you are worried he is bored of you. And go from there?
I've ... (read in full...)
I didn't realise being a bridesmaid would mean so much pre wedding work!
Q. Hi folks, I’m looking for some help working out if I’m being unreasonable; if my friend is; or if it’s a bit of both. So basically my friend is getting married in August and I’m going to be a bridesmaid. That’s all fine, but the problem is she s...
A. 1 February 2018: I understand. You didn't ASK to be a bridesmaid. And it is a lot of work if the bride makes it that way. You're not obligated to help and if I were you, the assumption that I will/can/should prioritise someone's wedding over my own life would make ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he will break up with me if I move 150 miles away
Q. Iv been dating my boyfriend for a year and i love him so much. But i want to move in with my friend who lives 150 miles away and my boyfriend says if i do he will split up with me and look for someone else. So now i feel trapped because i dont want ...
A. 25 January 2018: I wouldn't expect him to stay with you in that distance. I also wouldn't expect you not to go. Perhaps it's life telling it isn't meant to be. He needs to sort his life out and you need to move on in yours. I don't think it's a matter of if you love ... (read in full...)
My ex treated me badly, now I don't have the confidence to date again.
Q. I don't think I'm still fully over what happened with my ex/ex friend and it still affects potential dating. It's been over a year now since I last saw him. We started out as friends, then it became more, but he wasn't treating me well so I ended ...
A. 18 January 2018: Of course you didn't deserve to be treated that way. It's also bound to have hit your self esteem.
The most important thing, I think, is to treat dating as if you're just hoping to meet new people and make new friends, have a few new experien... (read in full...)
I feel stuck,I know I love him but don't know if I can trust him.
Q. I’ll spare the gory details, but I dated this guy for about 9 months (September ‘16 - Jun ‘17). It was the happiest relationship of my life. I was the first to say I love you (which I’ve never done before) about 6 months in; he said it, then took it ...
A. 10 January 2018: Why are you so desperate for him to say 'i love you'? Personally I think being strong enough to say it and take it back shows he wants it to be genuine, wants to be sure he can way it without ever taking it back. He obviously takes the words very ... (read in full...)
I ended things at Christmas and gave each other's presents back, but she is furious about it!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years, but we don't live together. I've been hesitant of her moving in, because in the past she has professed the belief that a man should sacrifice himself financially for a woman. Because of this, we ...
A. 31 December 2017: I don't believe relationships can work unless your fundamental views on certain things compliment each other. You don't agree financially. Her attitude obviously annoys you and you disagree with her privileged approach to the point where you broke ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend getting friendly with my colleague. Should I worry?
Q. My girlfriend recently became friends with one of my work colleagues on Facebook. On Christmas morning, whilst I was still asleep, my girlfriend sent my colleague a message saying Merry Christmas along with a selfie of herself fully made up. She's ...
A. 27 December 2017: This would make me worry. I don't think it's necessary to send a selfish. You could argue away just a merry Christmas text but not the picture as well unless she sent it to everyone she knows. ... (read in full...)
I'm low on cash but why are dates so weird with me but good to other girls?
Q. I am underemployed, I am very up front with guys that I am not earning much. I even offer to alternate paying/split early on. However men I date are very funny about my financial situation. An example is a guy who I dated recently who boasted to me ...
A. 26 December 2017: It sounds to me, despite what you say, that you do WANT and EXPECT the guys to pay, even if you offer. If you can't afford to pay - do cheaper things. It shouldn't matter at the start who earns more as you just do things within your price range.
... (read in full...)
A practical joke gone horribly wrong
Q. My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...
A. 10 December 2017: What if, to teach YOU a "lesson" (as you seem to be keen on doing for Eve) Bailey went behind your back, stuck loads of pictures in YOUR locker and then told the head teacher that it was you who did it and there's evidence in your locker? Would that ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my son she's cheating?
Q. My son's wife is cheating on him. Both she and my son are 29 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail about 4 years ago from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 or 6 years w...
A. 29 October 2017: He is your son! Why haven't you told him? I would tell him immediately. Show him the evidence. Tell him at an appropriate time but I think you've waited long enough..how could you let this carry on? Oh dear. ... (read in full...)
He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!
Q. So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...
A. 24 October 2017: I don't understand why you wouldn't have responded with "you said all I had to pay for was the ticket to the event"? And that should have cleared up the situation. Either you'd have found a compromise or you wouldn't. If you can't afford half of it, ... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife have a young lover since I can't perform as I once did?
Q. My wife (aged 55)and very attractive, and I have been married for 24 years and over the last 3 years I (aged 57) have had trouble maintaining an erection during sex, I have tried all the usual medications but I get side effects from them, so I have ...
A. 11 October 2017: I'm confused - you go to the bathroom to masturbate? Why isn't she pleasuring you? And surely if you can find pleasure in this way then it's just penetrative sex you're struggling with? There must be a solution to that (counselling, changing ... (read in full...)
Why can a woman reject sex but if her boyfriend does it, it's the worst thing ever?
Q. Why does a female get so offended when you reject her from any pleasure? I been in relationship nearly 4 / 5 years. She doesn’t have same sex drive as me, she felt up for it once in our week long holiday, but because I’m so used to not having it she ...
A. 2 October 2017: Clearly, you're not compatible. It's been four years and more and you're not happy. You even say "she is not worth talking to". I don't know what you can do to be honest. If you've tried talking and it hasn't changed and even when she makes an ... (read in full...)
How should this family go about dividing my late Grandmother's jewelry?
Q. My family is dividing my grandmother's jewelery this weekend. The divide is between my mother (daughter), my cousin (granddaughter), me (granddaughter), and my cousin's 15 year old (great-granddaughter). My mom insists that my grandmother told her ...
A. 7 September 2017: Can you speak to you grandfather? Surely he should decide who has what? Clearly doing something like a "lucky dip" wouldn't work if people are greedy.
Could you grandfather give it out as Christmas gifts? That way everyone gets one nice thing, a... (read in full...)
My co-worker is trying to paint me as a bully!
Q. Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. I work with this girl who is trying to paint me as a Bully. We don't always see eye to eye. She says I pick on her when I have to tell her she is doing something wrong. I don't like being that person. Its because I have a...
A. 6 September 2017: If it is your job to provide feedback maybe you need to have a sit down with her with a manager present to clear the air. She can say what her problems are and you can say your point. It works in a "I feel offended when you say abc because I don't ... (read in full...)
Is it ever ok for your boyfriend to insinuate that you're fat? Feeling hurt and ashamed, how do I react?
Q. Hey guys :-) I was just hoping for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I think of myself as a really good girlfriend to him. When we first got together we were both in very good shape. However over the years we've both put w...
A. 27 August 2017: It's understandable (but NOT acceptable) that he suddenly seems to be being negative about your appearance. If he is suddenly so into his own shape and weight then maybe he wants you to be the same? Maybe it's all gone to his head and he's forgotten ... (read in full...)
Why won't he Marry me?
Q. Hi, I have been with my partner 6 years next month. I never wanted to get married, was never something that was important to me. Until I was in love. We have been together 6 years and have agreed to start trying for a baby next year after my friends ...
A. 23 August 2017: As long as you both agree that you want the same things then what is your problem?
He said yes and one day. He didn't say "no, never". If you're going to be together forever why does it have to be a rush to get there? Be patient. Maybe he is wait... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's friend comes over when I'm not there, now they slept in the same bed. What is going on?
Q. when I first met my bf he had this girl that was his friend but they also hooked up a lot. And she wanted to have a relationship with him. But he didn't want to be in a relationship. She found a bf. And after a few months me and my bf started ...
A. 23 August 2017: Ditch him. I've been there and done that and "Oh we're just friends who hooked up once and share a bed every now and then. It's just a friend thing. Don't be jealous." you will never come first and you will never be able to get them apart without ... (read in full...)
How can I manage my wedding envy?
Q. First let me tell you that I know how utterly ridiculous I sound, but here's the story. I am 29 and have been with my partner for 9 years and we are engaged. We have travelled together and have good jobs. We were going to get married this year bu...
A. 20 August 2017: I think it's a natural feeling when someone younger than you reaches a "milestone" before you that you're really excited to get to.
Just try to be happy. Day dream about your own wedding and use their experience as advice for what might go wrong... (read in full...)
My boyfried wont communicate!
Q. My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...
A. 5 August 2017: You've got two children together???? He should be ashamed of himself. How often does he speak to them? Has he not seen them in months either?
Honestly sometimes you're better off without. He doesn't not sound like he is in love with you and isn'... (read in full...)
My boyfried wont communicate!
Q. My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...
A. 5 August 2017: Two hours isn't really THAT long a distance. Why have you not managed to see each other at least once a month? I used to have a bf who moved to uni and for three years we were 200miles and a 5.5hour train journey from each other and I saw him once a ... (read in full...)
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