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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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How the HELL do I talk dirty? Please guide me. lol
Q. For the love of God - I can NOT talk dirty to save my life. Actually, I'm 32 and never talked dirty to anyone. Now, here's the weird thing. I can "sext" my boyfriend (of 4 years) some of the nastiest shit ever was but I can't say anything when we're ...
A. 10 June 2014: And you wrote "I do things for him nobody else ever has, such as positions and being freaky, however, he gets off extremely good to dirty talk. One of his ex's talked dirty to him a long time ago, like 8 years ago, and he revealed in the beginning ... (read in full...)
How the HELL do I talk dirty? Please guide me. lol
Q. For the love of God - I can NOT talk dirty to save my life. Actually, I'm 32 and never talked dirty to anyone. Now, here's the weird thing. I can "sext" my boyfriend (of 4 years) some of the nastiest shit ever was but I can't say anything when we're ...
A. 10 June 2014: And just to point out that you say this is sexually balanced. You wrote: "He keeps wanting me to try but I can't, no matter what. I can't even "fake it". I literally freeze dead in my tracks. Sometimes I get turned off during sex when he starts ... (read in full...)
How the HELL do I talk dirty? Please guide me. lol
Q. For the love of God - I can NOT talk dirty to save my life. Actually, I'm 32 and never talked dirty to anyone. Now, here's the weird thing. I can "sext" my boyfriend (of 4 years) some of the nastiest shit ever was but I can't say anything when we're ...
A. 10 June 2014: So just start reading your texts out loud.
Practice in front of the mirror.
Just to remind everyone that we do have young readers on here and we are not a porn site.
If you are over-thinking as you said then perhaps practice methods of keeping y... (read in full...)
How the HELL do I talk dirty? Please guide me. lol
Q. For the love of God - I can NOT talk dirty to save my life. Actually, I'm 32 and never talked dirty to anyone. Now, here's the weird thing. I can "sext" my boyfriend (of 4 years) some of the nastiest shit ever was but I can't say anything when we're ...
A. 10 June 2014: I would stop stressing and do what comes naturally to you. If it isn't dirty talk then no worries. If he absolutely requires dirty talk then you could put on some sound track of porn and lip sync (and you just need to be close enough-ish, no need to ... (read in full...)
We've been dating for 2 days and I'm wondering how to tell him that I want to wait to have sex?
Q. So I'm dating a new guy for about 2 days now. I'm 20 and hes 28. We meet at an anime convention in 2011 and ever since we've always seemed to constantly bump into one another all the time around town (for A-----, that's rare especially if you two ...
A. 9 June 2014: You've dated this guy for TWO days and already you perceive him as being "sexually aggravated"? I'm so curious as to how you came to know that. Was this in the last 2 days or have there been conversations building up to this?
Anyway, just to let ... (read in full...)
Lifestyle of resident doctors and medical students?
Q. Hello everyone. I want to work in surgery or anesthesia when I grow up. I have researched the process, but I would like to know more about the lifestyle. I know the hours are brutal and would like more insight. Can anyone lay out a daily/weekly ...
A. 9 June 2014: http://forums.studentdoctor.net/threads/typical-day-in-your-life-as-a-med-student.506559/
http://www.startmedicine.com/app/typicalday.asp
http://prospectivedoctor.com/articles/item/290-typical-day-of-a-ucla-medical-student
http://ww... (read in full...)
Is he just using me when desperate?
Q. I am seeing someone casually, sort of a no strings thing. I do like him but I am trying not to contact him as the no strings part of it is getting to me. I don't even know if we will see each other again unless he gets in touch - it is that casua...
A. 9 June 2014: Doesn't "no strings" mean no commitment and no explanations for anything necessary?
I think what you have is the relationship you have allowed. You stressed no strings, you got it. If that is becoming a problem for you, well, end it. You don't even... (read in full...)
Should I give this woman more support even though I know we will never be together?
Q. I'm wondering what I should do here. I am middle aged man who has been divorced for around 1.5 years after a long term marriage. I still care about my ex-wife though who basically decided she wanted to move to Florida and not be married any longer ...
A. 6 June 2014: It's your money and your moral/ethical choice. Who is to say one or the other is wrong? Wouldn't that be up to you and anyone you are intimately involved with?
I'm not sure exactly what you mean when you say "a little old-fashioned"... Does that... (read in full...)
Should I just skip going to his country now after his response?
Q. What would you do in this situation? I met this cute guy on my last trip last year to a foreign country. I was by myself and I went to this bar. He owns it. We started talking and he offered to show me around. Was very sweet, but we never were...
A. 4 June 2014: Okay, you met and had a nice time with a guy who owns a bar. You are merely friends (unless we missed something?)
You have encountered the international traveler's version of "how lovely to meet you, you must come visit us sometime" aka "it was ... (read in full...)
This married guy knows I have a crush on him and he touched and kissed me and said, "lets be casual". What does he mean by that?
Q. here's this guy a married man 47 yrs old, he's my friend and most of his family members were my friend also. last year i realized i really like him (crush). but i kept it inside me. he's so nice to me and whenever we see each other he always f...
A. 3 June 2014: It means your crush is a cheat and lies to his wife. He's also done this before and has some practice at it, so he's likely been exposed to some STDs.
In other words, proceed with caution and if you do wind up more involved with him than a kiss... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter is breaking the family apart!
Q. I've been married for 10 years and when I met my husband he inherited my 3 children too who were very young at the time, we have also had a child together... I had just left a violent marriage 6 months earlier and we were all still recovering (the ...
A. 31 May 2014: The thing that strikes me is how you seem to be comfortable (not exactly the right word but the one that I can think of) or used to being the victim, only you get to choose who the victimizer is, and in this case, you've gone from the violent ... (read in full...)
In a man's mind, why would he ask you to turn off the light to kiss him? I thought that men liked women to do the opposite.
Q. What does it mean when a man wants to kiss you in the dark? Call me paranoid but I get the feeling that's a bad sign. I have self image related problems and far less from perfect but I'm always trying to improve the quality of my life- although...
A. 31 May 2014: Maybe he senses you are unhappy with yourself and is trying to keep you comfortable by not insisting the lights are on? Just because he's a man doesn't mean he's not sensitive to your feelings and concerns. Not all men think only of themselves and ... (read in full...)
Help me win my crush!
Q. Ok, I've just very recently started at a new, temporary job, and there's a girl there that I'm really keen on, she's 100% GF material, and I'm actually 80% sure that she's keen on me too! Problem is, messing things up with the fairer sex is my ...
A. 31 May 2014: Hi Flo Jack, still working out the mysteries of the dating world, eh? That's good!
Now, to this specific girl, you say you checked her FB and it shows she is in a relationship? So she IS GF material, the thing is, she's already someone else's GF. ... (read in full...)
How do I act toward my crush? I'll be visiting his workplace soon!
Q. How do I act around a crush, given that I choose "accidently on purpose" to be where he works and stand the possibilty of being served by him. I don't live in that town, but I used to go there often...I really want to see if he'll chat me up...
A. 31 May 2014: "So when are you going to ask me out?" would be an American approach.
"I do enjoy our talks when we are able to meet up, please do call me if you'd like to talk more." and hand him your card with your number.
"I've always been interested in that ... (read in full...)
His internet history has me worried and wondering if he is gay or bisexual!
Q. I've been in a wonderful and eventful relationship with my current fiance (45) for a year and a half now. He's very masculine and energetic which is a far cry from my typical choice in partners (I typically go for more sensitive and effeminate guys, ...
A. 31 May 2014: As for how to approach the subject, how about this, "Frank, my lovely and sexy awesome lover of a year and a half and the father of our baby. I have a question that is perplexing me. It's about the internet history on google. Which shows you have a ... (read in full...)
His internet history has me worried and wondering if he is gay or bisexual!
Q. I've been in a wonderful and eventful relationship with my current fiance (45) for a year and a half now. He's very masculine and energetic which is a far cry from my typical choice in partners (I typically go for more sensitive and effeminate guys, ...
A. 31 May 2014: You say that he's very masculine and energetic. You were 'swept off' your 21 year old feet. You've always wanted your 'typically american pie family.' Was that vision of the 'typically american pie family ' vision inclusive or exclusive of your ... (read in full...)
What's wrong? I never get invited back ! I invite them, and they never reciprocate after that.
Q. My question is: Do you expect people to reciprocate your invites to dinner, brunch, lunch or a mere cup of coffee? I don't do it because I expect it, but since I have a particular taste and healthy diet needs, I tend to invite people over if the ...
A. 30 May 2014: And now I have re-read some of your earlier posts where you were annoyed that someone was pooping in your toilet http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-go-on-being-not-the.html and then you had the mooching friend ... (read in full...)
What's wrong? I never get invited back ! I invite them, and they never reciprocate after that.
Q. My question is: Do you expect people to reciprocate your invites to dinner, brunch, lunch or a mere cup of coffee? I don't do it because I expect it, but since I have a particular taste and healthy diet needs, I tend to invite people over if the ...
A. 30 May 2014: Hi Tula, I wonder if you have come up against one of those cultural differences, you had something like this going on in this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-small-talk.html which leads me to speculate that you don't know what to ... (read in full...)
The sex has gone to zero, he said we'll try again soon, 2 months later, still zero. Though he still watches porn. Now what?
Q. I've been with my partner for just over a year now, our sexlife was great literally like rabbits! But within the past year it's become non existent. He's 6 years older than me, (im 20) but has never bothered us. I know he's not cheating on me that's ...
A. 30 May 2014: Sounds like you now have found out why he has an ex and why he was available to date. He has a bit of a new toy excitement surrounding the relationship and sex but then reverts back to doing the porn thing.
Did you ever look at this site: http... (read in full...)
We've been together for 6 months but now he's pushing me away!
Q. I'm gonna make this quick. In college, just been diagnosed with epilepsy, secretly depressed - family thing I just can't talk about it. I've been with the most amazing guy for six months, we really love each other. Well I thought we did. I love him ...
A. 30 May 2014: You need more help than he does, based on your original post. A recent diagnosis of epilepsy, depression and unspecified but presumably troubling family issues? That's a lot for you and more than likely too much for a young relationship, especially ... (read in full...)
I'm telling the truth now, how do I get him to accept that and have faith in me again?
Q. I admit to lying quite as lot to my boyfriend about being on some internet sites. That was a few months ago now. Since I stopped going to these sites, he has now stopped believing me. We break up every week, get back together and have a real loving ...
A. 30 May 2014: You are 30-35 and despite being well over the age of reason seem to lack some basic self-control and respect for your partner. The tone of your post suggests that you regret more being caught than doing whatever it was on the dating sites, and ... (read in full...)
I'm telling the truth now, how do I get him to accept that and have faith in me again?
Q. I admit to lying quite as lot to my boyfriend about being on some internet sites. That was a few months ago now. Since I stopped going to these sites, he has now stopped believing me. We break up every week, get back together and have a real loving ...
A. 30 May 2014: If you were on sites that were about how to cook meat when you are a committed vegetarian, that's one kind of site.
If you were on sites that are about how to hook up with random freaks for kinky sex, that's another kind of site.
What kind of sites... (read in full...)
My question is why some lasses follow you around when you give up on them? Give her a second chance or will that lead to heartbreak?
Q. Hi I was sort of knowing a girl and dating her but I felt she was a bit cold and distant so I thought she's not interested and moved on! To tell you further, I actually liked her a lot and it was sort of heartbreaking to move on! Surely it took s...
A. 30 May 2014: Can you manage being friendly without being friends? That's what I would do, but this would be based on your own comfort with that. ... (read in full...)
My question is why some lasses follow you around when you give up on them? Give her a second chance or will that lead to heartbreak?
Q. Hi I was sort of knowing a girl and dating her but I felt she was a bit cold and distant so I thought she's not interested and moved on! To tell you further, I actually liked her a lot and it was sort of heartbreaking to move on! Surely it took s...
A. 30 May 2014: The bottom line for me is that she likes you a bit but not enough. I'd carry on being cordial but do not put any eggs in this particular basket any longer. She's not into you in the way you would like. She's proven that again and again.
It's not ... (read in full...)
How long until I can add him back as a friend on FB?
Q. I got rejected by a guy a couple of weeks ago who I thought I really liked and I deleted him off facebook straight away. We haven't spoken since then and I've had time to realise now that I don't want him romantically, but I do want to be friends in ...
A. 30 May 2014: So you feel like a failure and hope that adding this guy as a friend on FB will make it all better? What if he doesn't accept your friend request and blocks you instead? Wouldn't that make you feel even worse?
I would just let this one go. If you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend defecates during sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...
A. 30 May 2014: I found a more comprehensive link about this here http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/003135.htm
It does say that there could be injury to the anal sphincter due to childbirth. There is a checklist of tests at the end of the arti... (read in full...)
My girlfriend defecates during sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...
A. 30 May 2014: When you say you had her checked by a "female doctor" does that mean a gynecologist, or a doctor who happens to be a woman? If she's having a problem with bowel control then perhaps the real issue is with her anus/colon and she should see a ... (read in full...)
She said my 'offer' isn't good enough?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years and I recently asked her to move in with me. However she turned me down. I'll admit we've had our arguments over the years, mainly because she kept saying she thought I acted single but I've never ...
A. 30 May 2014: Dear OP, read what Euphoric29 wrote. Then read it again. And then again. It is brilliant advice. That is my best advice to you.
A book that helped me in similar circumstances at around your same age was "A Fine Romance" by Judith Sills PhD. That... (read in full...)
Dumped, why am I so upset by this? A normal person would be running for the hills.
Q. I have been gong through a very difficult time these past few months. I had recently broken up with the biggest Casanova I'd ever dated (he had kids and a wife etc.)So a few months later I meet what I thought was my knight in shining armor, boy was ...
A. 30 May 2014: So, why is it that you have chosen to date two men who are really poor choices? You're going through a difficult time these past few months because you decided to date a Casanova and a Mummy's boy with a controlling streak.
You see red flags and ... (read in full...)
I feel second-best to the girl he loved for 4 years, from the age of 14! Am I overreacting?
Q. On the 1st November 2013, I began a sexual relationship with my best friend (male). I had quite deeply loved him before that, but didn't want to sabotage our great friendship. He has always been a wonderful friend, always there for me, caring, ...
A. 29 May 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE. Do NOT move in.
You've been officially together as a couple for a very short time and while you describe it as a "strong relationship," you also say you "fight a lot" and that it isn't "smooth sailing."
You are in what sho... (read in full...)
Has this turned into a casual sex thing?
Q. so I am a little confused on my situation.. my ex and I are not together, yet we are in this cycle of not talking, then talking, hooking up, meeting up while we are out, then not talking again for a week or two. he is well aware that I love him and ...
A. 29 May 2014: P.S. His deal is that he's saying and doing the bare minimum to keep you gentled enough so he can have some amazing sex. For him, amazing sex does not mean, "lifetime commitment." It means, "sex on tap when I need it and thankfully she's going along ... (read in full...)
Has this turned into a casual sex thing?
Q. so I am a little confused on my situation.. my ex and I are not together, yet we are in this cycle of not talking, then talking, hooking up, meeting up while we are out, then not talking again for a week or two. he is well aware that I love him and ...
A. 29 May 2014: Yes, for him it is casual sex. He gets the benefits of a sexual relationship without any of the partnered responsibilities.
You sound as though you are hoping he will come around. He will not. He's been clear and plain and as far as he's conc... (read in full...)
How long until I can add him back as a friend on FB?
Q. I got rejected by a guy a couple of weeks ago who I thought I really liked and I deleted him off facebook straight away. We haven't spoken since then and I've had time to realise now that I don't want him romantically, but I do want to be friends in ...
A. 29 May 2014: Were you rejected on FB or in real life, face-to-face? I ask because if this was a FB-based relationship then adding him back on FB will just throw up a red flag to him that you are having some trouble letting him go.
If you were rejected IRL FTF ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 29 May 2014: Have you ever asked her specifically to be your girlfriend? Is that what you want?... (read in full...)
Engaged to be married but afraid to do so because I do not want sex
Q. I am 21 years old and engaged to be married. Let me explain some of my background to you so that this makes sense. I went to a very small Christian school all my life (16 kids in a k-12 school) that is attached to my church. I grew up reading ...
A. 29 May 2014: If you don't want to get married tell them that you don't feel that this is God's plan for you.
You don't write as though you subscribe to the belief system you describe. If you don't wish to be forced into marriage against your will or sex agai... (read in full...)
Twenty eight and throwing tantrums
Q. My lovely live in boyfriend has some sort of anxiety and depression. He has spoken to people about it in the past, and been on antidepressants before my time. His recount on things I've said or scenarios that have happened where he ended up getting ...
A. 28 May 2014: Hi Belzinda, please let us know if you are okay. Too many women are hurt or worse by the men who are supposed to love them. You've had lots and lots of answers now.
By the way, what you are describing is abuse and you will not be able to 'man... (read in full...)
New workplace for me. Guy there is married, attractive and older. What's my next move?
Q. hi.theres this man whos pretty elder to me but is ravishingly handsome,at my workplace. i just started working there 2 weeks ago and he makes frequent eye contacts and shows many other signs of attraction.it makes me feel really awkard to gaze back ...
A. 27 May 2014: Don't make the rookie mistake of being drawn into a player's little dramas.
In other words, ignore the guy other than whatever professional interactions you may have.
This guy is married. He's making eyes at newly hired women because they are the ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to enjoy him when the sex is amazing, even though I find him annoying at other times?
Q. So this guy for quite a while has been hitting on me trying to get it on etc even though he knew I found his personality completely annoying. I don't know what it is but he really irritates me. I got very drunk a few days ago and somehow ended up...
A. 27 May 2014: You will have to decide if the sex is enough to override your own level of discomfort with his irritating personality.
If you have to be drunk to enjoy it and he has to be drunk to be tolerable, obviously that will limit the available hours that... (read in full...)
I am fit and petite but I have no boobs. He's a boob man. Is there any chance that he'll consider me attractive?
Q. Would you find a woman with a squatting bum, defined stomach/ faint abs and slight thigh gap attractive, even if she was basically flat chested? I only ask because I'm going to a pool party with the guy i'm dating this weekend and I don't want him...
A. 27 May 2014: Here's my advice for handling the pool party this weekend: be yourself, be fit, be healthy, be happy to be with your friends.
If he doesn't like you just exactly as you are then he's not the guy for you.
If you think your femininity begins a... (read in full...)
I am falling deeply for my older Boyfriend's cousin. What should I do?
Q. I'm 19 and with a 34 year old man a year and half. Please don't comment on the age gap , I prefer older men. About 3 months ago I met his cousin who is 31 for the first time. He told me a lot about this guy how he cheated on his now wife when the...
A. 27 May 2014: Is the comment that you prefer 'older men' some sort of code for "I will be happy to succumb to older men's inappropriate advances despite the fact that I have a boyfriend"?
So, taking the age gap out of the question, as you asked, I would tell... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 25 May 2014: When you say people you meet aren't interested, does this mean you ask for their number or ask them out and they say no'? Or does this mean you get a feeling that they don't like you so you don't bother them any longer, and then perceive that as a ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 24 May 2014: And based on your question and the followups? It is your issue. Not the girls. Sorry.... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 24 May 2014: You want a different outcome? Then you'll have to change something. Liking the same girl for 8 years then another girl for 14 years got you nowhere in the 'in love' situation.
We have no stake in your relationship with your mental health prov... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 23 May 2014: I'm sorry, I didn't understand the last part of your answer.
So the term has come up before regarding you?
Talk to your psychiatrist about it, on your very next visit.
Did you happen to read any of the links I provided? Not seeing that you did... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 23 May 2014: Just found this really interesting read: http://www.aspecialgrace.com/resources/Dude-im-an-aspie-book.pdf
This one seems to have some good info:
http://www.lifeonthespectrum.net/blog/?page_id=1001
If you start googling, there is a lot of informati... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm stuck in the friend zone with girls
Q. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm stuck . I've been putting up with liking girls for years and years and years and etc... I really hope that I'm not just being ignored? First it was a girl I liked for 8 years, saved my virginity, didn't date ...
A. 23 May 2014: Hi, I'm a little late to the conversation but I want to bring it back to something Honeypie asked you and you basically didn't answer. Have you been identified as having Asperger's? We ask, not to label or categorize you, but so we can point you in ... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: And based on this one: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-she-trying-to-get-my-attention-does.html you really never worked up the nerve to ask her out because you felt you weren't attractive enough for her.
You could just try to ask her out and ... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Hi Barry, I found your most recent question about her, which gave more detail: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-crush-has-become-more-attentive-is-it.html
So you are really interested in her, what answer are you hoping for from the aunts here... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Look, you are overthinking this. You told a colleague you liked her, she reported she wasn't available. It wasn't a rejection of you as a person. She is unavailable. (She should be anyway, because you work together, but that's another discussion.)
S... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Thank you for the followup. Did you ask her out and she said 'no' or did this all happen through rumor and third-party interactions?... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: Barry, I took a look at your past questions just to see if you'd written about the rejection you experienced, and I found an almost identical question from 3 years ago: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-this-girl-at-work-does.html
I... (read in full...)
What does this colleague want? She knows I like her, but she has a boyfriend.
Q. I'll keep this as brief as I can. A girl I really like. We work together. The word got out I liked her. She was getting back with a bf so rejected me. At work I was pleasant if I saw her but our paths rarely crossed. I tried to avoid her as...
A. 30 April 2014: I don't see where she's begging for your attention here. You say 'word got out I liked her.' So there was gossip going on? Were you being overtly attracted to her or did you tell someone? It sounds so odd. 'Word got out I liked her.' You then ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 13 April 2014: I think she doesn't really like you as much as you like her. I would stop playing those 'mind games' as you put it. You get too hopeful when she does message you and then reality strikes when she shows that you are really really far from her top ... (read in full...)
What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you?
Q. What's the best way to deal with a girl who is playing mind games with you ? If you ignore her, she'll write you after a week or two but if you do reply, she would read the message and wouldn't reply for 3-4 days on purpose ! How would you d...
A. 9 April 2014: Maybe she just thinks it's normal for both of you to answer messages after 3 or 7 or more days?
If you fancy this girl, it's time to forget about dating her, she's clearly not interested.
If you are casual acquaintances with this girl, well, yo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend defecates during sex
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been with my current girlfriend for over 2 years and ever since the beginning she has had a problem during sex. It doesn't matter what position we try, each time during intercourse she poos. I've asked her if she is doing i...
A. 31 March 2014: I searched online and found these links for you:
http://ehealthforum.com/health/topic90946.html
Many of those posting had irritable bowel syndrome or trouble with diarrhea, some of them had several pregnancies, some had the issue while experien... (read in full...)
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