A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi.theres this man whos pretty elder to me but is ravishingly handsome,at my workplace. i just started working there 2 weeks ago and he makes frequent eye contacts and shows many other signs of attraction.it makes me feel really awkard to gaze back at him as it would look too obvious of me too being attracted to him.it also makes me feel guilty of this since he is already married.please suggest..
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (28 May 2014):
 Enjoy the eye candy and do nothing
a. you should not date folks you work with
b. yous should not date married people
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 May 2014):
 Don't make the rookie mistake of being drawn into a player's little dramas.
In other words, ignore the guy other than whatever professional interactions you may have.
This guy is married. He's making eyes at newly hired women because they are the only ones who don't know he is a sack of manure. :D
Now you know, you ignore him!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2014):
 Geez, just be professional at work. That is what you were hired for.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (25 May 2014):
 You don't do a thing with this man. Put yourself in the wife's shoes. If you were married, would you be OK with your husband having an affair with someone at his workplace? If you get involved with him, bad karma is going to get you. Guaranteed a future boyfriend or spouse will be unfaithful to you.
I suggest you look for someone who is your own age and single. When you start dating someone else, you'll lose interest in this married man.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (25 May 2014):
 Are you asking this question because you're thinking of pursuing the man or accepting possible future advances or because you just want to know how to keep things professional?
I hope you don't really need us to tell you that pursuing him or accepting his overtures would be a bad idea, especially if you work with him.
My advice is to be cordial with him, make eye contact where appropriate but focus on your work. You get paid to do a job and you don't need a married man jeopardizing your income or your reputation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014): Married men are a no go, don't flirt with him but as you work with him just be professional and friendly. You are so young, find some one you can relate too.
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A
female
reader, cattycakes  +, writes (25 May 2014):
Your next move, is no move. He is married.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (25 May 2014):
 You need to put your feelings and attraction to one side for a moment and stop and think this through.
Say something happened between you. Then what? Is he going to leave his wife and, if he has any, kids for you just like that? Hardly. Either he would use you as a bit on the side to boost his ego until he gets bored or he would sleep with you and then put you in your place making things very awkward at work.
Never get involved with married men whom you work with. He probably has a reputation for this kind of things and you don't want to be the latest inexperienced, young thing to fall for his charms. That wont do your reputation nor your career any good. Plus if he is a long term member of staff and in a senior position he can make life difficult for you work wise if you get fed up of being his play thing. Many middle aged married men want to get their way with a young, attractive woman like you as an ego boost. Classic midlife crisis.
If he would cheat on his wife with you then he is a liar, a cheat and a bad person. Being ravishingly handsome, more experienced than you and a great flirt is one thing, being a nice person you can trust is quite another.
Stay well away. If he continues to flirt tell him that as a married man its inappropriate.
If this gets out of hand its easier to get rid of someone after two weeks, ie: YOU, than a long term member of staff.
Mark
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