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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
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11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
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26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
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1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 27 August 2014: Sorry, hit 'send' too soon, my bad.
You've lost a whole size in clothing which must feel amazing! Well done.
Keep on finding what motivates you and look for the healthy choices. Sometimes a healthy choice is to have a piece of chocolate. Sometime... (read in full...)
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 27 August 2014: Great job, you have done so well! No diets with the word "strict" in them are sustainable. So well done for not depriving yourself.
The key is to find balance. Enough exercise and activity and the right amount of food with the nutrients that will... (read in full...)
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 31 July 2014: Sounds like you have a plan! By the way, you can do weight training with an implant. http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=158156963 is one discussion I saw on this. Lots and lots of women exercise with the implant. Don't let that be an ... (read in full...)
My fiancé keeps trying to take nude photos of me without my consent!
Q. Okay, so we were on vacation and hot at it and my significant other (my fiancé) got up from the bed, then all of a sudden I saw a flash in the dark room and he took a picture of me nude and then he wanted to take closer pictures of my body parts. I ...
A. 30 July 2014: I've never experienced anything like this and I would break up with him as soon as I could, but not before I ensured no unwanted images of me remained in his files.
This guy is a creep and is violating your trust and privacy. Get rid of him ASAP... (read in full...)
Mother-in-law's name for the baby's middle name?
Q. Background: SO and I have been together almost a decade. We are married and expecting a baby (our first) in 4 months. A few questions: Would you be okay with giving your baby MIL's name as their middle name IF... ...your MIL has in th...
A. 30 July 2014: If SO can be so honest about his mother's racism and senseless accusation about you trapping him by not using BC correctly, why can't you be honest about your continuing hurt feelings about it?
If you've been holding a grudge against her for near... (read in full...)
My family ignored my repeated requests to have a homemade card for my birthday. I"m hurt and disappointed!
Q. Ok, so it is my 19th birthday today, so this may sound trivial, but it's important to me. When I was growing up, it was a tradition to make birthday/anniversary/Christmas/thank you cards for family. That continued for me and my older brother until ...
A. 30 July 2014: It sounds like you set them up for a test they were bound to fail. The test being "if only they do x, that will prove that they love me the way I want them to."
Obviously, they failed the test. Why? Maybe because they assume that a 19 year old is a... (read in full...)
Online dating issues. I want to message him, but what would I say to him now?
Q. I joined an online dating site and met a man and had quite a few dates with him. He wanted to keep his options open, but I caught him out in a lie when he said he was not at a place when he was. Since then he went quiet on me and so I told him he's...
A. 30 July 2014: You told him he was childish and that you all can have secrets. But didn't you punish him for having a secret? Which was that he wanted to go out drinking with friends.
I would let this one go back into the dating pool. He's known you for 6 mont... (read in full...)
Our flatmates only growl at me when he's not there! I suffer from anxiety and depression so this is very difficult for me!
Q. I don't know what to do. This year I moved from one city to another to live with my long distance boyfriend of 2 years. It's about six months on now. The move was really hard for me cos I'm shy and i left behind my close friends and the place I was ...
A. 30 July 2014: Yes, he has to pick a side. You are partners, no? Otherwise you are just flatmates, with him and them.
You wouldn't stick around for this kind of treatment from flatmates if there was no boyfriend involved, would you?
You've been there for 6 months... (read in full...)
We found out our close friends gave us a recycled gift as our wedding gift! Would you mention that you know to them?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm really annoyed about something and I can appreciate there are more important things to worry about but I do feel I've been taken for a fool. My fiance and I got married 2 months ago and because we already live together...
A. 30 July 2014: I'm thinking that the two etiquette disasters may cancel each other out. Yours was asking for cash in your invitation. Theirs was regifting without making sure the box had been cleared of the gift card.
I expect the conversation around their plac... (read in full...)
What does the CEO want? Should I go there prepared to share a bunch of ideas?
Q. I wrote an email to a company to give them some fresh ideas to help in its performance. I got a call from the secretary saying that the CEO and Marketing director want to meet with me. The call was very official but friendly. I'm not sure what the...
A. 30 July 2014: If you had fresh ideas, I'd be prepared to flesh those ideas out. Prepare something that the CEO and Marketing director can read/see.
If this was a fishing type of email designed to get you a job interview, then I would have a resume ready with... (read in full...)
How many times a week should I cycle? And for how long each day?
Q. I have been struggling with my weight for a while now, and for around about a year or so I have been trying to find effective ways to help me shed a few stone. I have always eaten rather healthil...
A. 28 July 2014: Hi, it all depends on you and your body and your level of readiness for a particular exercise. You are new to this so may not realize that muscle soreness is usual after starting up a new exercise. The key is to not worry about it unless you feel ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he is hankering for his ex!
Q. I've known my fiance for 6 years we've been in a relationship for 2 and have 2 month old daughter together. Just recently he started speaking about his ex who is the mother of his other child. He says things like, she's a good actress, she just got ...
A. 27 July 2014: Why are they going to court? I think as a rule exes who have to take one another to court could be safely said to have a less than good relationship.
"I'm glad she is becoming a better mother" doesn't mean "I want to be with her again," unless ther... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 27 July 2014: You've been with her for 6 months. Unless you have perfected the Vulcan mind-meld, there is no way you know everything about her or vice versa.
Please tell me you haven't reviewed every sex act you ever had with another woman with your girl... (read in full...)
Is it worth trying to make a LDR work?
Q. So I have been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now. She is now a senior in high school and I am going to be a freshman in college. Our relationahip is as amazing as it could be and I love her with all that I got. We have been having numerous talks ...
A. 24 July 2014: "She is terrified"
"she simply doesnt want me to go and doesnt want anything between us to change during this time away"
You're at that major life moment, of going away to college and the people you leave behind are freaked out that you might ch... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable? She went too far on a fourth date.
Q. I know I do have some OCD issues which I think may be contributing to this. I have been in love with my current GF for over 6 mos. She is 37 and was previously married for 13 years to the man that she saved herself for on her wedding day at t...
A. 18 July 2014: I agree with YouWish!
You wrote: "Not saying that it is right. I just think that unfortunately men and women are held to different standards."
YOU are the one holding different standards. YOU are the one who has OCD. You are the one who wrote th... (read in full...)
Why would my sexy sext stranger mention marriage, of all things?
Q. A guy I met online (from far faaar away) and I have been texting/sexting for about 2 and a 1/2 weeks now. I'm new to sexting and find that I'm enjoying it immensly - we seem to be very compatible. However I don't expect anything more of this. It's ...
A. 18 July 2014: As you said you are waiting for marriage to do things, he has to "offer" to marry you in order to get you to sext about them. You basically gave him the rule book and he's following it. Not any big mystery why he's going on about it.
He's hopi... (read in full...)
Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl?
Q. Why do "nice" guys complain that girls never want them when what the problem REALLY is, is that they keep going for the same type of girl? They're doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different outcome. What I mean by the same type of ...
A. 17 July 2014: Dear anon male reader: "well a nice guy isn't a challenge," Bull-twinkies. I'm married to a nice guy. He was a challenge. He took his time to get to know me. My guy wasn't f'ed over by women, because he did not stick around for bad treatment... (read in full...)
What should I do? I have a tight family and this sort of falling out will be a huge deal but I'm also not going to give up on someone because of someone elses problem
Q. I have been in a long distance relationship on and off for two years and although im not sure what our future holds, on a day to day level we care for each other and we have fun. We recently split for a few months as the distance was tough and ...
A. 17 July 2014: "Aw, dear [annoying family member's name], thank you so much for sharing your feelings and opinions about my life. I know this is coming from a place of love and support, so I feel really good about letting you know what's going on with me.
I have... (read in full...)
How do I regain some control?
Q. Were now a year in to our relationship At first i couldnt believe how amazing he was. Ive definitely never loved anyone like i love him and hes like my best friend but the past 6 weeks hes been really distant and is cancelling plans. Ive always been ...
A. 16 July 2014: How do you regain some control?
I would remove him from the category of best friend, for a start. He's not your best friend if he's distant, canceling plans and not telling you why.
I would get very busy with the people who love you and want onl... (read in full...)
Is my online friend right to be angry that I didn't ask him for money?
Q. I have a great online friendship been going on about 18 months now, we are good friends have lots of chats and fun. Earlier this year I was out of work and he was very supportive of me cheering me up and just being there for me to chat when I was do...
A. 16 July 2014: I think that's a red flag. That he gets angry and then goes silent after a nice friendship? That's manipulative.
I would be very circumspect and careful if you do start talking to him again.
Maybe this is a sign that the friendship is drawing ... (read in full...)
Married 50 years. What do I do now: start over or live the rest of my life like this?
Q. Well where do you start, I just reached my 50Th wedding anniversary, I said* reached( not celebrate) because my husband said if I take you somewhere you will just just start a argument, which is not true as I paid for a trip to Vegas and he didn't ...
A. 16 July 2014: If you are in an abusive relationship, as I just read your followup, you will need to protect yourself.
Go here for referrals and help: http://www.thehotline.org
Just because you've been in a marriage for 50 years doesn't mean you need to take eve... (read in full...)
Married 50 years. What do I do now: start over or live the rest of my life like this?
Q. Well where do you start, I just reached my 50Th wedding anniversary, I said* reached( not celebrate) because my husband said if I take you somewhere you will just just start a argument, which is not true as I paid for a trip to Vegas and he didn't ...
A. 16 July 2014: I would find the happiest divorced person you know. Ask who their divorce attorney was. Basically, go for the shark.
They will know the best detective.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 16 July 2014: So you found a new guy with the exact same issues as the guy you are trying to forget.
"I did talk to a therapist a while back but they said the same old stuff that goes over my head."
What is "a while back"?
You are able to navigate the intricac... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely miserable at my job, what should I do when there are no tasks needing doing?
Q. I've been working a 9-5 summer internship/job for the summer - I do get paid, but on the downside, I'm absolutely miserable. I ask my supervisors for work, but they really don't have anything for me to do. When they give me work, I accomplish it, ...
A. 16 July 2014: This feels like a question from one of my young nephews. "Mom, I'm bored!"
You have a cubicle. You have no privacy. But you have the luxury of time and a paid job.
Sit for a minute and for heaven's sake try to feel a minuscule grain of gratitud... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 16 July 2014: "I've met yet another person who loves porn but doesn't take notice of me. He knows I like him a bit but hasn't made any moves"
Q. Why are you wasting one more iota of your time on a guy who doesn't take any notice of you?
A. Because you feel bad... (read in full...)
They say I would have been rocked by a tree stump. Do they have a point?
Q. OK, I had sex with a new boyfriend recently. It was our first date and he took me to the highest heaven. My friends were not as impressed. They told me my reaction was based on circumstances and looks, ie it was my first time after 23 years of ...
A. 16 July 2014: It may be that they are jealous. Perhaps they are married to or dating tree stumps?
Or they just don't really want to hear about their single friends' sexploits?
Anyway, for me, it's in poor taste to discuss specifics about one's sex life, es... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 16 July 2014: "This is the OP. You won't believe this I've met yet another person who loves porn but doesn't take notice of me. He knows I like him a bit but hasn't made any moves."
And just to be very clear, if a friend of mine sent this message to me, I woul... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 16 July 2014: "This is the OP. You won't believe this I've met yet another person who loves porn but doesn't take notice of me. He knows I like him a bit but hasn't made any moves."
Actually I do believe this. You have chosen him because he affirms that you are ... (read in full...)
Should I break off my engagement to my LDR? Concerned about so many issues.
Q. Should I break off my engagement? I'm engaged and I love my fiance-he has a lot of wonderful qualities-honest, loving, caring, etc. I do feel like I am taking on perhaps too much baggage to be with him and I am concerned about how our future w...
A. 15 July 2014: I second So Very Confused's opinion on this. No one moves anywhere until the very real and possibly damaging financial parameters are established by the courts.
I would suggest that he hire an attorney to look after his interests. Especially as he's... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my husband hiding his impotency!
Q. after 20yrs of marriage i now know my husband had an impotency problem he hid it from me making excuses all the time, i beleived his excuse----how to deal with this please tell me how to deal with this...
A. 15 July 2014: I agree with So Very Confused.
If you married in a faith that has rules about disclosing pre-existing conditions, then appeal to your religious advisor. (I am under the impression that someone marrying in the Catholic fate would have to disc... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 15 July 2014: I've been thinking about your question: "Should I tell him I am not ready for sex and take the risk of ending our relationship that Makes me so happy?"
Of course you should tell him where you are and what you want and don't want. It's a bit of a co... (read in full...)
Been hiding my pregnancy for 5 months. How do I announce it to my family?
Q. I have been hiding my pregnancy for about five months. I haven't told anyone except for a few friends. I've finally decided that I'll tell my family. i finally feel ready to face the consequences. i feel strong enough to bear the negative reactions. ...
A. 15 July 2014: You use the words "I'm still scared" and "I'm terrified" and "a liar" to describe the father of your baby.
You need outside help, you can't do this without a mediator.
He's responsible for his share of the financial care of the baby.
It sounds... (read in full...)
Should I have sex to keep my boyfriend?
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 5 years now, (I am -9) and I love him to pieces. We sleep over at each other's all the time and it's all been perfectly fine. Then one night we were at his and he said "my parents wont be home until ...
A. 15 July 2014: You are 19. You are old enough to have sex, if you want to do so.
You've been with your boyfriend for 5 years. You've been having sleepovers with him "all the time" for some time now. Unless you've been living under a rock or in an extremely shel... (read in full...)
My parents don't like one of the girls I've invited to a sleepover. What should I do?
Q. So I want to have a sleepover with four friends (5including me) but my parents do not approve of one of my friends and say they don't want me to invite her. The problem is, not knowing my parents would object to her staying round, I told her my ...
A. 15 July 2014: "Mom, I didn't know that you would object to Josie being invited to my sleepover. I really don't want to hurt her by uninviting her. What can we do to resolve this without hurting her or canceling the sleepover?"
Why don't your parents want her in t... (read in full...)
Why do some men think porn stars are magical being?
Q. Why do some men think pornstars are magical beings? My ex and my first boyfriend were just like that. My ex said "a pornstar works in my office" in a voice as if he had achieved something. My first boyfriend used to call them by their names...
A. 15 July 2014: Is this the boyfriend that told you were ordinary several years ago and you are still focused on this negative situation?
This guy is old history, he's gone, who cares what he thinks? It's useless and counterproductive and damaging to continue to w... (read in full...)
What's the best way to approach a woman? Need tips please
Q. Hello everyone, I'm 24 year old young man who is afraid to approach women. I'm not inexperienced in terms of a relationship or anything like that because I've had serious relationship and they've gone pretty well until they just fade out, and ...
A. 15 July 2014: To approach a woman for what? Friendship? Her phone number? A date? Sex?
What specifically are you looking for?
How did you "approach" the women you have dated? "I'm not inexperienced in terms of a relationship or anything like that because ... (read in full...)
Am I too manly?
Q. My whole life I have been into sports. I love sports, I love games I love things normal woman don't. I grew up an only child for 12 years and I was basically my dad's son. But I've also been hurt many times by men in my life. So to protect myself I ...
A. 14 July 2014: Aren't you a current athlete if you are boxing and going to the gym and working out?
What does he mean by 'closed off'?
Bad ass I know about, one of my friends is a big gym rat and a body builder competitor. She had lots of friends. I have no ... (read in full...)
Am I too manly?
Q. My whole life I have been into sports. I love sports, I love games I love things normal woman don't. I grew up an only child for 12 years and I was basically my dad's son. But I've also been hurt many times by men in my life. So to protect myself I ...
A. 14 July 2014: Lots of normal women love sports. My next door neighbor is a huge sports fan and she has 2 kids, a husband and a dog. Pretty 'normal' by the standards of the day.
Is this boyfriend you refer to the one you were just dating in May? The one with retr... (read in full...)
Should I help my friend who is struggling to find a date?
Q. I have a friend who's 29, I'm 27; he's single at the moment, and struggling to get a date. He's said to me that he wants help, but how can I help him? He's got a good job, has a small group of friends (including me) and is well-liked; but ...
A. 14 July 2014: Is this your friend? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-27-year-old-virgin-should-i.html
I know the ages are wrong but the tone and the details about the woman "Russian, Indian, Chinese or black" sound extremely similar.
How can you help him... (read in full...)
Is it okay to date a third cousin?
Q. Is it ok to date my 3rd cousin on my mother's side? ...
A. 14 July 2014: A third cousin is someone you share a great-grandparent with. I don't think there are any legal issues with this.
Will it cause a problem in your family? Are you concerned about getting pregnant?... (read in full...)
Why do I have to be my own mother? What do I do with my real one?
Q. I cannot live with my father because of legal issues between my siblings. I have moved out of there and into my mothers house. She has cheated on my father and continues to have this affair which includes extremely late nights where i cannot reach ...
A. 14 July 2014: "still being surrounded by this crap is messing me up" is up against "I don't want to move out because I'm afraid of suffering" It's not a good place to be but expecting this woman to suddenly shape up is probably not realistic. She has her own ... (read in full...)
Am I just being a typical bloke?
Q. New to this everyone. How is everyone? I'm just a young lad. Started a new job a few months ago. I'm really enjoying it. I've maybe got this totally wrong. Picking up the wrong signals. So there's this really attractive girl. She's 2...
A. 14 July 2014: "I don't want to risk my job either"
Steer clear and keep on avoiding. Bosses rarely lose their jobs, though the people they sexually harass often do.... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 July 2014: I agree with Euphoric29, having read parts of this thread and others you have started.
Best wishes to you.... (read in full...)
I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should I be worried ?
Q. I saw a condom behind my boyfriend's sofa, should i be worried ? The condom wasn't used, as his semen wasn't in it. It wasn't there when I went to his house before that. He told me that he had found it down the side of his other sofa, and he h...
A. 13 July 2014: Do you use condoms with him? If you don't, then I think it's a fair question to ask why he even has them around. I know I would wonder why there were condoms around my house if I'd found any.
Does he have roommates? Does he have friends who come... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 13 July 2014: Did you spend any of the past few months actually practicing flirting or talking to women at all?
I provided you two links which would lead you to the manuals you said you wished existed. Did you read any of them?
Good luck, I think you'll b... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 6 March 2014: OP, I could spend hours and hours reading up on how to ski.
Some friends are so scared of skiing that they can't even contemplate going skiing, despite never having tried.
Other friends no longer downhill ski because they are worried that... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 6 March 2014: OP, you have the love life you expect. Once you change your approach and expectations maybe things could be different. But as for now, as long as you read the negative blog things and judge women based on some sort of weird racial profiling, then ... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 4 March 2014: So few options open up when you are in your room all alone reading blogs that support the 'I can't do this' personal credo.
More options open when you actually go outside and start talking to people.
... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 26 February 2014: If you think a manual will help, here you go:
http://bit.ly/1hy5SaU
http://bit.ly/N2s5Vg
It will involve effort and change on your part, reading all the manuals and how-to guides won't change anything unless you implement them.... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 25 February 2014: You don't know how because you never tried. Why have you never tried?... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 21 February 2014: Your glass is two-thirds full, yet you persist in believing it is empty. Ah well. When you stop extrapolating the negative from life, you may wake up to find that there is lots to be positive about.
If you want to pay for sex, pay for sex, if that... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 20 February 2014: OP, you've had at least 8 aunts here tell you that the problem is your negativity, and you say "it may have touch some of the truth I never considered" but then you go on to completely discount the advice given.
Your filter is totally out of whac... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 17 February 2014: I didn't say you were antisocial. I suggested that you have crippling anxiety about talking to women.
You have nothing to lose by talking to your doctor about it. Why wouldn't you try?... (read in full...)
I'm a 27 year old virgin, should I go hire an escort to experience sex?
Q. I’m 27 years old and will be 28 years old this summer and not being able to me intimate with anyone in my life is just making me feel frustrated. I have tired date few Chinese women but all they do is want to be friends or we never talk again. ...
A. 15 February 2014: Wouldn't a better investment of your time and money be to find treatment for your social anxiety? There are ways to help people who suffer from this.
http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/mental-health-social-anxiety-disorder
http:... (read in full...)
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